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#he then proceeded to follow it with but i DONT want my ex wife back but. still
ahautism · 1 year
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the imagery of scar haunting his absent father, the person who was never there for him when he was alive, is making me like. go insane
“you know i regret the time we had together, son. i dont know if you can hear me, but i think if we gave it another chance, we could have been better, you know? could have been the true father and son duo.” what the FUCK etho. man
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maccreadysimp · 3 years
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breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )
ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11
tw for i^cest and r^pe
he was with a married man
in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store
“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “
that is a quote from that part.
ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child
ian wasnt open with lip
“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”
no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.
in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’
like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting
back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping
he secretly dated his best friends brother
“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”
the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey
he stood by as kash attacked mickey
“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”
okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him
now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic
oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE
he and lip tried framing terry milkovich
oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?
yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s
he dated jimmy-steves married father
“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”
at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that
he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian
he stole lips identity to enlist in the army
he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar
“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”
this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic
ian refused to accept being bipolar
of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it
“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”
okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,
my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )
she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry
my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time
he wasnt faitful to mickey
“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”
lets break that down.
ians. bipolar. disorder.
this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out
ian stole yevgeny
before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own
“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”
cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’
he cant even keep count of his number of partners
just slutshaming i see
he helped throw frank off a bridge
“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”
‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent
also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb
he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey
he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do
he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist
he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )
he tried blackmailing an old client for money
“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”
because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place
“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”
because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth
he let fame inflate his ego
of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail
also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help
“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”
as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board
he stopped taking his meds
see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’
he actually wanted to stay in prison
because he was doing good in there
ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual
he let down his army of followers
“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”
he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health
during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control
he constantly wasted his potential
this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with
his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great
“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”
he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day
“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”
yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him
“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”
back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous
“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”
he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life
“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”
no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically
that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry
now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes
actual valid reasons ian sucks
genuinely believes frank is worse than terry
yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,
mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards
terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist
frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )
sorry ian , terry is worse
never apologized
he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him
never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’
debbies sexuality
he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?
in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me
mickey only getting like 80% of his heart
okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him
and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about
obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind
before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him
like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly
now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian
if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)
feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol
thanks for letting me rant
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kcookendrick · 6 years
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don’t worry baby
Who: Adam Levine and Anna Kendrick (anam) @hfamelevine
Where: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York City 
When: October 15th 2018 sometime at night 
What: Maroon 5 has a little get together before going on stage for their last show and Anna feels a little overwhelmed with everyone and everything. Adam and Anna talk things out. 
Trigger Warnings: more talk about her fertility issues 
Anna: They were still in New York, and it was right before the show. Half of the bands significant others and children were there supporting them. Anna had felt out of the loop, she felt like she didn’t belong there. 7 kids, there was 7 kids in the room and Anna felt a little overwhelmed. Not only with that, but by remembering all the names to the band’s wives and girlfriends. Hearing the kids scream, and laugh and Jesse’s newborn cry the brunette felt emotional. Letting out a shaky breath, she looked over to see Adam playing with the kids along with Dusty. Swallowing deep, Anna chewed her lips and looked at Jesse’s girlfriend Tara “I’ll be right now.” Was all she could say, and Anna stepped outside to get some fresh air. Standing up against the wall, Anna folded her arms across her chest and took a few deep breaths.
Adam: It had been the final night of the tour, and Adam was so excited to finish out the tour strong tonight with the guys of the band and then get home to L.A. He hadn’t been sleeping, if not at all, and had been running on fumes and coffee since Thursday. It was terrible, he knew it was terrible, but he was stressed between everything that happened with him and Behati, and the fact of knowing that they’d be going right home to another IVF appointment to see if it had worked for them or not. Everyone had met up at the Garden tonight since it was the last show, and there were a sea of kids backstage due to everyone having their families here, even Adam with Dusty. There had been a little time left before everyone would have to head out to their seats, and Adam was sitting on the floor with Vesper, Sam’s daughter and his goddaughter, trying to put a puzzle together with her. Through the flurry of noises, he could hear Anna’s voice and he began to frown. This had to be overwhelming for her and he felt really bad about it, considering. “Hey, Ves? Why don’t you see if you can be a big girl and put this together without me for a few minutes? I’m just gonna go make sure Anna’s okay.” He smiled a littl, and Vesper sighs which causes him to laugh. “I heard that, I’ll be right back. You can live without me for five minutes, missy.” He joked, and then gets up from the ground, heading outside to follow Anna. Opening the doors to head outside, he caught her standing against the wall and then began to frown. “Babe, it’s freezing out here.”
Anna: They were a huge family, that band had become a huge family and it was the first time Anna was meeting Adam’s goddaughter. She didn’t even knew he had a goddaughter until tonight. There were moments when she was sitting there thinking, Behati should be there and not her. The women felt so out of place, at least Anna knew Tara. She was getting to know the other girls as well, but Anna realized Tara was the only one she was talking too. After she stepped outside, the brunette had almost forgot the weather actually changes here in New York and wasn’t wearing a jacket. It was in the low 50’s, but Anna didn’t care, she could use the fresh air. Chewing her lips, the brunette felt fresh tears form in her eyes, but then jumped a little when she heard Adam’s voice “Jesus.” Was all she could say, and then Anna shook her head “I’m fine. I just needed some air, it’s hot in there.”
Adam: “Sorry, I’m sorry.” Adam puts his hands up in defense at Anna’s choice of words, but his frown is deepening. Each time that he had looked at her back and forth while in the band’s dressing room, he could tell that she felt out of place and it bothered him. Letting out a sigh, Adam takes his black leather jacket off of his arms and then shrugs it over Anna’s shoulders. “At least take this.” He says, with a sigh. “What’s going on? Are you alright?”
Anna: When he puts his jacket on her, Anna felt a big lump in her throat “Nothing, I’m fine Adam. Go back inside, you only have a few minutes left with Dusty anyway. I’ll meet you in there.” She didn’t feel like talking, Anna just needed a few moments to herself. Tomorrow would be the day they’d find out if they’re pregnant or not, and Anna just couldn’t handle that and /this/ right now. It all became too much, and she felt so overwhelmed. “Why didn’t you tell me that you had a Goddaughter?” She questioned, and sighed.
Adam: This is what Adam hated, for the lack of a better word, about how Anna shut herself down. She did just that and then proceeded to push him away, and she was doing just that in telling him to go back inside rather than talking to him about it. He lets out a small breath, shaking his head as he then shrugged his shoulders. “It…I don’t know, it just didn’t come up.” He says. “I’m…I’m sorry, I didn’t know that it was a…big deal…”
Anna: Pushing her hair back, and away from her face Anna stood up against the brick wall again. Looking at him, Anna shook her head “I’m fine Adam, I just needed some fresh air okay?” She said, and then swallowed deep “She’s cute.” Anna said softly, and then looked down at the ground.
Adam: He could tell that she had been upset by the way that she had continued to use his name rather than “Babe”, or “baby”, as it had been something that they had grown accustomed to calling each other. Staring at her as she leans back against the brick wall again, he does it for a few moments and then shakes his head. “Yeah. Okay. Sorry.” He mutters, then turns back around to head for the doors back inside.
Anna: Folding her arms across her chest, she turns to face his back when he walks away from her “Why am I in there? I don’t.., Adam.. I don’t belong in there. I could’ve stayed back tonight, and let Behati go. She knows them better than I do, and I.., there’s so many kids in there I don’t..” Stopping herself, Anna felt herself getting choked up as water continued to fill her eyes.
Adam: “/Why/ do you keep doing that?” Adam asks suddenly, his own voice cracking again, suddenly now as he stops dead in his tracks. He doesn’t turn to look at her so he can’t see the water filling in his eyes, but he looks at the ground instead. “Why do you keep fucking comparing yourself to her?”
Anna: “I don’t know.” Anna said quietly, and then let out a shaky breath “She was with you for 7 years, she gave you Dusty. She knows them, she’s friends with them.” Tears falling down now, Anna shook her head “I’m just.., a little overwhelmed and scared about tomorrow and I’m sorry. You don’t.., you don’t need to worry about me I’m fine. You have a show tonight and you need to be focoused, I just needed some air. I’m sorry.”
Adam: “I’m not with her! I haven’t been with her in over a year Anna, and you still…” He pauses for a few moments and then shakes his head, continuing to look away from her. “I wanted you here because I love you and I want you to know them. Are you going to do this when we’re married? When you know you have me but you keep…comparing yourself to my ex-wife?” He sighs, slowly beginning to walk back toward the door. “Whatever.”
Anna: “I want to know them too, I’m insecure okay? I’m sorry. I don’t..,” Stopping herself, she looked at him “No, I don’t..” Not knowing what to say, Anna swallowed hard and “Why aren’t you scared? Are you scared for tomorrow? Cause I’m terrified, and I don’t know how to do any of this. I dont’ know how I’m going to handle being a mom when I can’t even stay in a room with 7 kids for an hour.” Anna cried, and then held her arms for comfort.
Adam: He doesn’t know what to say, and it’s another case of him completely stopping in his tracks. He clears his throat and continues to look away from her, shaking his head. “I…I do /everything/, Anna. /Everything/ I can, to make you see that you’re the one I want. There is /nobody/ else. I don’t want Behati, I don’t want fucking…Katy, I don’t want Anne, I don’t want /anyone/ if it’s not you.” He starts to frown, “I love you, I love you so much. I just can’t…I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to keep convincing you if you don’t believe it. Should we even get married, if that’s how you feel?”
Anna: Anna felt sick now, she was exhuasted and the women was freezing. Tears were falling down her face, and Anna’s head was beginning to hurt. “I didn’t say that, don’t put words into my mouth. I didn’t say that you wanted Behati or Katy or Anne.” She said quietly, while crying. “I love you so much, and I know that you only want me and I only want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” She cried, and looked at him “I’m just scared about the whole kid thing, you’re not scared because you already have Dusty and I’m learning a few things but I’m still scared. Am I not allowed to be scared?” Anna questioned, and shook her head
Adam: Clearing his throat, Adam feels like his skin is burning while he’s standing there. His back is still turned, and he was freezing himself now because of the fact that he had given Anna his jacket so she wasn’t cold. He doesn’t say anything rather than just shaking his head, looking down at the grown with a frown. “I never said you weren’t allowed to be scared. You said not to put words in your mouth, so the same goes for you. Don’t put words in my mouth either.” He says. “You’re always allowed to be scared. That’s not the point I’m trying to get at. What is, is that you do this /all/ the time. I love you, and I want to marry you, I want you to be my wife…but a healthy marriage won’t consist of you always trying to…either compare yourself to Behati or compare our relationship to your relationship with Ben. You wanna know what pushes me away? That.”
Anna: Handing Adam his coat back, she could tell he was cold now himself. When he looks at the ground, and sees him frown the brunette took a breath. She hated that she did this, she hated that she got scared and starting comparing everything. It’s what Anna did with Ben, it’s what Anna did with Edgar. “I’m scared, and I’m sorry. I’m scared that if I am pregnant, then they’ll tell me something else that’s wrong. Like it’ll be a risky pregnancy or something. I’m terrified and I don’t know how…, being in there with 7 kids just overwhelmed me and I’m sorry.” Anna said quietly, and then looked at him “I don’t know why I compare, I just do. I’m insecure sometimes, and I’m.. I did this with Ben and Edgar and I pushed them away. I don’t want to push you away. I don’t. I love you so much, and I’m sorry that I’ve been comparing. I’m sorry. ” Anna walked closer to him, she rested her head on his chest and then looked up at him “I’m sorry.” Anna whispered, and tears were filling her eyes again. She kissed him softly, and just wanted to be held in his arms.
Adam: Taking his coat back, Adam doesn’t bother to put it back on. The leather slings in his arms and drops to his side, and as she’s speaking, he’s just letting out a small breath. Walking away from the doors to get back inside now, Adam instead moved to sit down on the steps outside there. Putting his jacket over his lap, he looks ahead of him. He doesn’t want to look at Anna just yet, because he doesn’t know what to say to her to possibly make any of this better right now. She had every right to feel the way that she did and he knew that, but he felt that anything else he would try or want to say in this moment, would be the wrong thing. “I would tell you that you can’t think like that, but you do. It really doesn’t matter what I say, which is fine. You’re a big girl, so I get it.” He clears his throat once more and then lets out another sigh. “I…I would be a really terrible fiance to tell you that you can’t feel the way that you do, especially with everything that we’ve gone through and continue to go through with this. I love you, Anna, and I’m here /because/ I love you. I wouldn’t ever leave you because I fell in love with you so fast that I don’t…I wouldn’t know where to…even start if we had broken up tomorrow and I got thrown back into dating again. I probably wouldn’t even date again, maybe not…at all, I don’t know. I just…I don’t…like hearing that you’d rather compare our relationship and the fact that I’m…I’m trying to give you what Ben couldn’t, that I’m trying to…be the best fiance to you so that it turns into me being the best /husband/, to you, because that’s what I want. Yeah–I wasn’t…I wasn’t the best husband to Behati but I /want/ to be the best husband to you, /for/ you.”
Anna: Watching him as Adam sat back down on the steps, the brunette folded her arms across her chest. Anna didn’t deserve him. The brunette knew that, but she also knew that he loved her more than anything and the women still couldn’t understand why. Taking a breath, Anna pushed her hair out of her face and swallowed the big lump that was in her throat. “It does matter what you say.” The actress whispered, and then looked at him. “I never said anything about us braking up, I don’t want to brake up at all. I’m just really scared, and I see the way that Jesse and Tara look at Hendrix and it, it scares me so much that I might not be able to give you that. You wont even consider adoption and i don’t…,” Stopping herself, Anna walked closer to him and held his face in her hands “You’re so /amazing/ with kids, and I just… I want that with you. I want a family with you, and I want to be your wife and I’m just scared that I won’t be any good at it.”
Adam: “I know you didn’t say anything about breaking up, Anna. I’m just…I’m saying, if…knock on wood that it ever happened, I wouldn’t…” He pauses for a few moments, because there’s a break and a pause in his voice. His voice is cracking again even, and it causes him to clear his throat again. “I wouldn’t even know where to start, I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t to.” He continues to listen to her, and the frown across his lips only deepens as she mentions Jesse and Tara and how they are with their son. “I didn’t…say I wouldn’t consider adoption, I just…I want…” He sighs. “I don’t…I don’t know, Anna. I really don’t. You said that we could think about doing the IVF one more time, and maybe…maybe we should take a little bit of a break from it first and then figure out when we want to do another treatment. Maybe that will help, or…or something.” As she walks over to him and lifts his face into her hands, he’s forced to finally look at her and his eyes meet hers. “…I tell you all the time how much I love you for loving my daughter.” He whispers, “She…she adores you. She may not…be your biological daughter, but she’s…” He stops in his tracks, fearing that his next words would scare her even more. “…I think you’re going to be an amazing wife, Anna. Rather it had been me or if it hadn’t been me, anyone else if we weren’t together–anyone would be lucky to call you their wife, let alone their girlfriend.”
Anna: “It’s not.., I don’t want it to happen. I love you more than anything, and it terrifies me what I would do for you, you know?” Anna questioned, and then kissed him softly. He had to preform soon, and arguing with him isn’t something she wanted to be doing considering he’d been arguing with Behati this past week over their engagement. When his voice cracks,and he clears his throat Anna listens to him talk. Chewing her lips, the brunette sighed “I do want to try one more time with IVF, but maybe you’re right, maybe we need a brake from trying. Maybe that’s just it though, maybe we shouldn’t try so much. We should just, we should just let it happen and see. I still have that slim chance bub. I just.., ” Stopping herself, she shook her head “She’s going to be my step daughter” Anna whispered, and suddenly realized that herself, even though Aubrey has mentioned it to her once or twice. This was all becoming so real to Anna, and that’s why she was scared. Kissing him deeply, Anna cuddled onto him and had almost forgot they were sitting outside in the freezing cold. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I love you so much.”
Adam: “I know, Anna. It terrifies me too.” Of course it did. He fell in love with her too hard, too fast, after Behati, during his time with Behati even. He wasn’t stupid, he could at least admit that much. Letting out a small breath, Adam is trying to calm down now because he needs to get on stage soon. “Yeah, I…I don’t know, maybe it’ll help if we just…stop for a little while and then decide if we want to do another one later, after our appointment and after we see how it goes.” He says, “We can…obviously, sex isn’t off the table.” He teases, “We can…not focus so much on trying though.” Letting our a small breath, Adam wraps his arm around Anna. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but when he opens his mouth, he’s stopped by the door opening. When he sees Sharon as he turns his head, he tilts his eyebrow as she speaks. “Everything okay out here? Adam, the guys are getting ready to go on stage and they kinda need you.”
Anna: Listening to him speak, Anna let him wrap his arms around her and she just stayed there in his arms with her head up against his chest. Taking a breath, she could feel herself getting choked up again but the women didn’t want to cry anymore. Chewing her lips again, Anna closed her eyes for a few moments. Not saying anything else, the brunette stepped away and Anna looked up at Sharon. “You should go in, I’ll be in in a minute.” She whispered, and took a breath.
Adam: “You act like James can’t step up and sing for me.” Adam says, teasing. Sharon is looking between Adam and Anna, and she then chuckles at Adam’s words. “Yeah, that would work if James actually knew the words to the songs. Go inside, Adam.” Adam whines playfully as both Anna and Sharon tell him to go inside, and he kisses Anna’s cheek lightly. “You sure you’ll be in when you’re ready?”
Anna: When he kisses her cheek, Anna nodded her head and watched as he went back inside. Taking a deep breath, the brunette let the fresh air beat against her face. Trying not to think about tomorrow, Anna swallowed hard but then turned around about to walk in, to realize that Sharon was still standing there “I’m.., I’m sorry. I just.., needed some air.”
Adam: As Adam walks past Sharon to get inside again, Sharon watches him walk down the hall and back into the dressing room, before her attention turns back to Anna. Closing the door behind her, she nods. “Don’t be sorry, it happens. Are you…are you alright, though?”
Anna: Anna laughed nervously at the older women’s question, the brunette swallowed hard and nodded “I will be. They go on soon don’t they?”
&END 
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hvzardly · 7 years
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The Bro Talk
Not sure how it began.
I think Abang shared his story first kot. About how sissy in law no.1 shared their internal affairs with everyone; and how Abang was almost beaten to death because of it (well.. noone likes an irresponsible husband, they say). Also how Abang ended up marrying Kak Sue, and how beautiful it has been since.
He said, what started as a halal thing that everyone despised, has become a healthy competition by time. Sissy no.1 has improved her prayer game and cooking game gradually; while also kinda accepts it easier. She even helped to sell Sissy no.2’s products, in fact.
But they never met each other. Abang just wont allow it. What is hers is hers, you have no say. What is yours is yours, she has no say. By doing that, there will not be comparisons. No jealousy. Doubts, maybe.. but no envy. As long he is being fair to both, they shall have no complaint. Even his dad in law agrees and kinda impressed with his system. Lol.
Me was like, oh damn.. I know where this is leading. When he shared how our life would be all neat and tidy, once you follow His daily guides rigidly.. once you treat you wife and kids fairly.. and how he tried all his wills in “reducing”, but ended up better by “adding” after asking Him for hundreds of times. Huhuu. Habislah…
Then, me was like; ah fuck it lah. Reminiscing how we used to exchange stories between us when we were younger, especially about relationships, me think me would need this third eye. Not like me gona follow whatever his opinion is, but just for a peace of mind.
So me started by telling him, his story sounds more or less like mine; minus the part where you dont agree to poligamy. Then, me told..
Ahaa.. now me remember how the talk began. We were at the court; so me legit had to tell him everything la kan. About this is not our first court case. About the taklik, first. Which happened after she told Mirul even me warned her not to, with taklik. Then about le black magic that leads to this second court proceeding. Etc etc.
Then, me thought me might as well share about you, while me at it. Me told him, though on the court file said that me doing this to just go single, me would like to tell him the real reason behind this all. Gulp. Kan.
Only then, me got to tell him your name. For the first time. His first response was, hmm.. such a beautiful name. And me did not even say your full name tau. Then me said your full name, and said to him “wait till you see the person; you will know why this is all worth it.” Then, me showed him your IG. He took a few looks, then sighed. Agreeingly.
Then me told him straight about your background. About your Ayah’s adventure from Pattani. About your family, briefly. About you, what you do etc. And about how we did not just know each other; it has been older than my marriage itself.
Me did not spare a tiny bit; me also shared about her. Me told him why me still got married tho not whole heartedly. About our break up, and how Keklin’s preference on her over the Petronas gal affected my judgement; but me never blamed her. About how the families involvement contributed in speeding things up. About us not happening cause of le wedding card. About me managing to survive this 7 years; tho the thought of breaking this wedding keep bugging every now and then.
Yupp2. For the first time ever, me came cleanest. For the first time ever, me shared everything as honest and confident as me ever could. Well, minus le Bangkok thingy. What happens in Bangkok, stays in Bangkok kan. Huhuu.
He took a deep sigh. Then he agreed my story is 70% similar to his. And how both no.1s behaved and managed the issue the same way; the wrong way. They didn’t listen even to the most ridiculous small thing that we told them to or not to do; rating themselves to no good at all of course.
Then me asked him; what does he think. He asked me back, do me really wanna hear his opinion. Me was like gulp.. me knew it! Me knew my theory earlier was right!
Yeah. Kinda. He said, go get done whatever important first. That is, marrying you. If we love each other, go. Legalise it. Make it halal. Follow His plan. Then, everything will fall into places.
The court case, we will still follow. But dont wait for it to get done first, cause it will keep the more important thing getting postponed. If it gets solved early, then good. If it keep getting postponed, so be it. We would have belonged to each other legally anyways, by then. The bond will help kill the existing malfuntioning one. And the commotions between us two will be gone. Puff.
But then me said, you wont agree. You wont want Tetoh’s case to repeat. He fell into silence, and said that is only the first option. The second option, is for me do it outside the court. But that might prolly portray me as the bad guy in this. Our families wont agree. Heck; even Mama might not agree. And then he said, it is us who should take control. Dont worry about Mama too much; as typical a mom as she is, Mama will always side us no matter what.. so her opinion is somewhat irrelevant.
But he told me to do it kindly. Talk to her. Tell her that me gona lafaz; and whats gona happen next. Well, exactly like what we planned la kan; me just need someone to knock me into 5th gear. Like he just did.
Me am well aware of the options. Of course. Yet me purposely told him about you not agreeing to see his judgement on you; which is.. alhamdulillah, good. Cause he himself can see how it wont work, in my case. Not because you not wanting it. It is because ME not wanting it. And also, because she not helping herself by still behaving the same. And what happened next proved it.
It was Babybear who wanted to “feed fish by the lake”; hence le dinner at the Crab Place. So me told Babymom to only leave workshop for the Crab Place at 20; so that we could reach the restaurant more or less at the same time; as we will be late with the movie and picking up Kak Sue and the jams and all.
But she didnt listen; she was already on her way before 19. Ended up her struggling to Maghrib with Babybear along. Which then forced them to wait till almost 21 before we got there. Which led up to Babybear being restless to wait in the car, cause her mom forgot her ipad; rushing for God knows what. Which ultimately of course, ending with Babybear being moody at the eating place and they both had to leave early. Etc etc.
Oh. Earlier that morning, she scold me in front of Abang and Kak Sue for not helping her getting Babybear off her car. Their reaction? Exchange that awkward stare as if saying “er i am not sure if i wanna see a fight happening at the diner”; to which of course me replied with just silence. Malas nak make it bigger. And then later that night, the Crab Place incident pulak happened kan.
Abang, knowing that me would explode, told me to calm down and just ignore her ignorance. What happened had happened, me saying things wont help. We already knew what kind of a person she is, so nothing we do that time may change that. So yah; that managed to keep me calm throughout dinner.
Such a co-incidence, all these happened just right after me told Abang about her behaviour. And he got to witness it one after another; to the extent that he calls her "a mix of his psycho ex gf and sissy no.1". Huhuu. Me kinda felt bad to make him see her that way tho; but yah.. it wasnt who had done anything actually kan.
Magical how He worked kan? And scary too; cause she was supposed to be the victim here. We are the guilty ones. But yah, opting for the bad things will certainly not preserve her innocence; hence the twist of fate here. Me sad too, in a way. She should have listened and not done anything unsupposedly, and just kept her good name intact. Tapi.. yah.
That’s that. Me got one solid supporter on my side. One of the most meaningful too. Yah me know Mama seems to have agreed with me, but she is my Mama. She never been fair anyways to anyone else; her kids are kinda always right. Lol. Plus; me didnt tell her the whole story kan? Cause me dont think me need to. But with Abang, me glad me did. Cause we synch better than the others in the family.
So.. yah. Cant wait to initiate that plan talk next. And also see what the court has on the table for me. Cause Abang will not agree with them if they decided to keep on stalling the divorce; defeating the purpose of preserving Muslims rights in marriage etc and wasting resources that could be used for other more important things too.
Sorry for the long post. And sorry for having told Abang about your family tol. Me did my best to portray them well; and me guess it worked cause Abang just wont stop sharing about other Tok Gurus from Jawi that he knows. Lol.
Okay now me would go back to shleep. Hihi. Sorry for not layaning you tau. Me hoped when you see this entry, you would understand how this post is soo important to be finished.
Mishu, Nour El-Iman aka Si Nama Sedap aka Marka Turki Jawi Yang Elok.
😙
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