#he sounds so incredible!
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
#this is objectively bad advice#don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this#but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries#.... it IS fun#i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset#i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage#instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation#i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection#they like the rush they get from arguing#but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me#so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru#NORMAL CONVERSATION#he doesn't get it yet#i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''
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astarion, the man who was dying and offered eternal life, but had no idea that it meant becoming a slave to a sadistic master.
astarion, the man who had his freedom and bodily autonomy ripped away from him.
astarion, the man who was forced to befriend, seduce and sleep with people to lure them back to his master, resulting in severe sexual trauma and the struggle to form any sort of intimate relationship.
astarion, the man who was horribly punished whenever he refused his master’s orders (one punishment being sealed away in a dusty tomb, starving, for an entire year. he scratched his hands raw trying to carve his way out).
astarion, the man who was forced to eat rats.
astarion, the man who hasn’t even been able to see his own face since he turned.
astarion, the man who had his body mutilated as cazador carved scars onto his back, which he later found out was to bind him to a ritual.
astarion, the man who is so severely traumatised that he admitted he doesn’t know how to say “no” or ask for help (and he feels guilty when he does).
astarion, the man who waited two centuries to be helped and freed from torture, but no one came.
astarion, the man who was always treated like a monster when all he wanted was to be treated like a person.
astarion, the man who came up to you in the middle of the night just to thank you for defending him and allowing him to make his own decisions.
astarion, the man who said that no one ever looked out for him or showed him kindness, and that you’re the only one. “other people don’t have a heart like you. you’re you. no one is like that.”
astarion, the man who broke the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago thanks to the love, care and compassion that you showed him when no one else did.
astarion, the man who confessed that he loves you and feels safe with you; something he has never felt with anyone before.
#my darling boy :(#astarion#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#bg3 spoilers#his backstory and character development make me want to bawl my eyes out#this is why i get so angry when people don’t even try to understand him#and when they reduce him to things he’s not#like do you pay ANY attention to anything he says??#or do you just stare at him and drool and then continue to sexualise him#sorry if that sounds dramatic but ughhhhhh man#it’s just incredibly annoying#like i don’t know why some people choose to pick up an intense game with really deep characters if they’re not gonna try to understand them#like they weren’t just made for you to treat them like they’re objects#and what gets me is the fact that astarion would HATE how people talk about him#and yes yes i know he’s not real i’m not dumb i am aware!!!!!#but he would absolutely hate it#that flirty sexy vampire image you have of him isn’t even real#it was a mask he wore#he was literally forced into doing those things#even in the game he has a reputation for flirting and sleeping around but that’s not even who he is or what he wants#it’s all an act#and it’s just so sad how everyone reduces him to that when it traumatises him every day#and apparently there’s a scene with raphael where if you haven’t seen astarion’s scars yet ->#raphael basically says he’s surprised astarion has kept his clothes on for this long and then he strips him naked in front of everyone#it’s so horrible and unfair#i just want to hold his hand and hug him tight. he deserves so much better in the game AND in this fandom#tw abuse#tw sa#my posts
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Lil warm up doodle because I'd been playing some Thropes and then watched some dubbed DunMeshi and am a Damien Haas enjoyer so. Enjoy a Shez.
#fe warriors three hopes#shez#i usually watch subbed anime but my brain recently hasn't been able to process subtitles + not english#like my brain cannot filter the difference and then i simply get stressed out because i dont know what was said via reading#and its been... bad tbh#so i swapped over to the english audio but still with subtitles and its been fine !#i also really enjoy how damien sounds so excited cause when i would watch him stream#and he would go on a story telling adventure it was so enthusiastic and genuine#and i like how he has that same vibe in the show#that said i have never drawn fanart for dunmeshi and dont wanna start now while i have other art obligations#i can dabble with learning how to draw different characters after i do comms if i feel up to it#but fe is such a default for me its really easy to draw as a doodle/warm up#also im incredibly biased to being fond of damien cause he commissioned me for emotes for twitch#which is incredibly flattering and no other va has bought art from me ? so thank you mr haas for the honors#i also am a shez enjoyer and love the vibes of both shez looks
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What I Say: I'm fine.
What I Mean: There was a Star Trek Novel in which Tuvok and Jack Crusher (Beverely's Husband) have to go undercover in a bathhouse that they think is a brothel to get information out of a potential lead and because of a series of hijinks at one point must come to terms with the fact that they're definitely going to have to go into the boss's private room completely naked and might have to go even further than that to get the info they truly need. They were ready to go all in on that "I'm not gay but a mission's a mission" life.
Transcripts under the cut
[Image 1:
“We’re here to meet someone,” he said. “I was told that a Melacron named Pudris Barrh enjoyed visiting this establishment.”
The alien smiled. “Oh, I see…you’re one of Barrh’s boys,” she remarked with a knowing lilt.
Barrh’s boys? Crusher asked himself. What did she mean by that? He experienced a moment of alarm but kept his composure.
“If you can get past Old Scowly there,” the female continued, “you can join Barrh at his pleasures if you like." She raised a long slender arm and pointed to a gilded door to her right.]
[Image 2:
“I don’t know for certain what kind of establishment this is,” said the commander, “but I can make a pretty good guess.”
“Unfortunately,” the Vulcan whispered back with sincere and undisguised revulsion, “so can I.”
"Still, we may have to go along with it.” Crusher regarded Tuvok. “Would that…pose a problem?”
“Naturally,” the Vulcan replied.
The commander grunted. “I was afraid you would say that.”
“And knowing what I do of human marriage customs,” said Tuvok, “I would imagine it would pose a problem for you as well.”
Crusher looked lost “Maybe we could just play along for some of it…for the sake of-”
“My master will see you now,” said Old Scowly. He had reappeared before the Vulcan knew it. “You may enter through the changing room, remove your clothes, and join Pudris Barrh at his pleasures.”]
[Image 3:
As it happened, Tuvok wasn’t happy either. If he didn’t know better, he would have said that the uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach was apprehension. Of course, that was impossible. His control over his emotions was impeccable. And yet the sensation remained.
“There must be another way,” said Crusher.
“There is no other way,” the Vulcan told him. “This is the situation in which your plan has placed us.” He knew his words sounded biting, but he didn’t wish any of them back.
The human ran his hands through his thick, dark hair. “Damn it,” he said, “If Beverely ever…”
“Find out about this?” the ensign suggested.
Frowning, Crusher nodded. “But as you say, there’s no other option open to us. I guess we’ll just deal with whatever comes as best we can.” He grunted. “The things we do for king and country.”]
[Image 4:
When the air cleared for a moment - a byproduct of their entrance - the Vulcan was able to get a better look at their host. He was rather corpulent for a Melacron, it seemed, and more pale-looking than most.
As thick, sludgy ripples made their slow way outward from Barrh’s generous torso, he waved to Tuvok and Crusher. “Please, gentlemen, join me. We’ve not met yet, but there are few better places to get to know someone than in The House of Comfort!”
[Crusher] and Tuvok exchanged a quick glance. Taking a deep breath, the human walked up to the carpeted stairs and placed first one foot, then the other, into the hot, liquid muck.
The ensign had little choice but to follow suit. He assured himself, as he sank up to his chest in the thick, surprisingly pleasant-smelling stuff, that there was realy no logical reason T’Pel ever had to become acquainted with this misadventure.
Besides, he reflected, there was quite a good chance that the majority of his and Crusher’s actions would be classified. He had to confess that he found some comfort in the prospect.]
Bonus:
Tuvok and Crusher apparently both go home and tell their wives about this experience. I don't know if we learn of T'Pel's reaction but Beverely apparently thinks its hilarious!
#novel experiences#TUVOK. HEY.#-POINTS-#HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS#Tuvok CANNOT keep getting into dubiously moral but incredibly gay scenarios he just can't I'm gonna start howling at the moon#The fact that he has a wife is so funny#GOD there was an old post I LOVED that was like#'I know Tuvok has a wife and kids and I'm so happy for him but he has sex with men.'#<- VERY paraphrased by me#st voyager#tng#Jack Crusher#Tuvok#st voy#star trek#Is he....you know? -gestures- One of Barrh's boys?#Crusher: We might have to suck this guy's dick Tuvok. / Tuvok: Tch.#I love that Tuvok's like 'he knew his words sounded harsh....and he meant it<3 He meant every syllable <3'#him being so devoted to his wife just makes the whole thing more lascivious /positive
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Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.
When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?
Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?
I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.
I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.
An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.
So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.
Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡
#bungou stray dogs#seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want#but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this#either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it#if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol#maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk#also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing#like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost#not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise#i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with#and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story#I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen#BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga#like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible#so I at least am still perfectly happy lol#(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already#please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda#Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
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here's jere talking about how HE came up with a lot of the CCC choreo 😎
quick translation under the cut
öö.. for example about my own UMK performance I remember that about 1,5 weeks before the competition we redid half of it completely, like we had to practice new choreo and everything. I was like.. "ei jumalauta..."
(int. what did you have to redo?) from the part "nyt lähden tanssimaan", from the first singing part, from there we erased everything, and for half an hour we wondered with the UMK team what are we going to do, I was insanely stressed, thinking now everything is over. But then I got some idea, and accidentally did all these moves, and threw in the ideas for "possujuna" and "letkajenkka" (human centipide & idk what letkajenkka is in english, but the bit where they all stand together and hold on to the person in front of them). And then as a team we used those, (int. they were your ideas?) Yes, they were my ideas, I brought those things into it, but they figured out at which points they would happen. But I said I want possujuna, then letkajenkka, and I had the CCC moves I did with my hand, they were all accidents.
(So at first they said everything has to be changed, but then after that you came up with the ideas? I thought they wanted to change them because they knew what they wanted, but instead you came up with everything afterwards?)
What maybe happened was that at first I was dancing with a lot of style, yknow, but then even I was like I'm Käärijä, I'm not a very stylistic dude. Then the whole team watched it like this is not working, gotta rethink the whole thing. then they told me, go on stage, we gotta find something new (Erika: a way of moving that suits you), they told me, do what you want to do. We are gonna watch you do it. They all watched me with the song on repeat, and I just had to come up with something, and then I did some of those things and they were like "that's good! that's good! excellent!" and then we started picking stuff out from that, and that's how it all happened, the whole thing, the dance moves and possujuna and such legends.
#käärijä#audio#that sounds sooo stressful though being told DANCE MONKEY DANCE and we're just gonna watch you 👁👁#incredible that a lot the CCC choreo was his brainchild!!#he made it look and feel more like KÄÄRIJÄ the umk people couldn't do it!! aaaaa im so proud of him once again#also translator i am not whew how tedious
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There’s something so domestic and sweet about Ed asking Stede if he needs his clothes folded while they’re captive. Just the gentleness to his voice, barely above a whisper, asking, “Do you need anything folded? Your shirt? Your socks?”
It just seems like a glimpse of all the love and care to come.
#OFMD#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Edward Teach#Stede Bonnet#Revenge Rambles#I keep listening to it over and over and eating drywall <3#He sounds so SO soft#So incredibly tender#Like it sounds like something you’d hear them say well into a relationship#It’s VERY indicative of Ed’s love towards Stede me thinks#Like God#VERY PAINFUL TO THINK STEDE IS SO UPSET AND GUILT RIDDEN IN THAT MOMENT THOUGH#So we definitely need this again but with MUTUALITY#Like with Stede smiling and saying something like ‘I’m fine darling. You’re far too good to me.’#And Ed can be like ‘Yeah well I kinda like folding stuff. And I kinda love you.’#And Stede laughs and is like ‘Only kind of you say?’#And Ed chuckles back and is like ‘Okay I REALLY do.’#…IN OTHER WORDS I NEED TO WRITE THEM LMAO#CLEARLY#I am simply suffering from extreme brain rot at all times okay#Very bad when I can picture DIALOGUE
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I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.
But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.
Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.
I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.
I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?
Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?
I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.
...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.
#yeah idk either i wrote this in a haze at 1 am#also i have not yet finished trimax so idk how these kinds of matters are going to be tackled or if i am way off base#if nothing else this kind of reads like one of my guilt spirals and writing it out made me realize how batshit insane i must sound#outside of my own head so if nothing else i guess it was kind of useful for that?#anyways. vash's solution to being hungry all the time is to pretend he isn't hungry for so long he doesn't know what he craves anymore#incredible.#on that note by contrast i'm intrigued by meryl and milly ordering their trademark food and drink with such confidence#also i do love how this fear of a part of himself conflicts so strongly with how incredibly confident he is otherwise#cool character choices you know?#aghhh ok i guess i'll post this before i chicken out. i can always delete it if i hate it after#trigun#trimax#tristamp#vash the stampede#storyrambles
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incredible honor to have met jack mullarkey he was such a cool guy and SUPER nice
#like not exaggerated he is MAD sound#so kind and so hyped when he saw the art#incredible actor too#looking forward to more of his work#my art#princington#michael salvius
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Hi Hello apparently I didn't empty my tank yet.
So fun general headcanon: Emmet likes to cook. He makes most of the meals in the house and often brings homemade food to special events as a way to show his appreciation of whoever he has over. It's how he relieves stress, shows affection, tries new things, it's one of his key interests beyond battling.
This has slightly different connotations in Battle Addict. See Emmet studies the physical properties of pokemon, how they tick and how to make them stop ticking. A key part of his studies is sketching pokemon and outlining their internal structures, but there's no teacher like experience. His favourite way to improve his knowledge is dealing with the subject hands on, and cooking is a very good way to do that. He specifically practices butchery, breaking pokemon down section by section, noting the musculature, skeletal structure, and organs inside. This information helps him to find weakness in an opponent's pokemon while knowing how to cover his own.
This also serves as bonding time for him and Ingo because Ingo gets to be sous chef while Emmet turns a monster into mincemeat. He hands him the different tools he needs and they converse while Emmet slices and picks apart the carcass. Emmet also gets to explain the inner workings of the pokemon, which both of them enjoy analyzing and discussing.
The book Emmet is holding is his "butchery book", which is really just a collection of different biology textbooks he uses as guides to best break down carcasses. They always end up getting messy and after a certain point, he just stops caring and uses it, dirty as it may be. They have to be stored in a sealed container away from their other study materials, and are only ever brought out for processing. Emmet is probably the only person who can stand to be next to the stench of the concentrated dried blood throughout the pages, Ingo usually wears some kind of face cover when Emmet is working.
And for those who want to see the real mess of the work:
Washing up is half the labour of studying through butchery.
#tw blood#submas#submas au#au#emmet#subway master emmet#emmet pokemon#kudari#If this sounds incredibly specific#it's cause I do this with my mom when she's butchering#my mom uses the equivalent of a sword to do all her butchery though so there's literally no other tool besides the Blade#very efficient‚ coincidentally terrifying that the blade has kept its sharpness after nearly 20 years of regular use without maintenance#I would like to try drawing Emmet using it though‚ whether as a tool or weapon doesn't matter#also Emmet's little hair clips!! He doesn't like the feel of a hairnet so he'll usually just clip his hair back when working in the kitchen#similarly he works barehanded when handling food‚ cause having thoroughly cleaned counters and hands is safer than gloves#and don't worry‚ he aims to use as much of the carcass as possible (it's too expensive not to). Spare parts are frozen/preserved if not use#ok I think I'm actually running on empty‚ have a good night and see you later
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Put Light, Mello, and Beyond in a room together and they will IMMEDIATELY start fucking fist fighting but if you leave them in there TOO long all of a sudden you've got an unstoppable trio of mentally ill homicidal twinks ready to be cunty and start a cult
#death note#grim rambles#yagami light#mello#mihael keehl#beyond birthday#bb#labb#L looks them all in the Get Along Chamber and giggles about the sounds screaming and fighting#and then it gets reeeal quiet and he immediately goes Oh No#a disturbance in the force lmao#all three of them have incredibly high IQs + enough spite to drown the ocean EACH so imagine all of that combined into ONE#if you want to let your light/beyond/mello interact WITHOUT throwing down or starting a cult you put them in seperate rooms and let them#sniff each other through the doors
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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Do you have a favorite Elvis song? Or an album?👀👀
Why oh why would you ask me such an impossible question !
If you're twisting my arm.......... I'd say American Trilogy. The last minute of his 'Aloha' rendition of it never fails to give me chills. There really is no word to describe it other than EPIC.
#his truth is maaaaaarching ooooooooon#trashtalk#anonymous#Honorable Mentions : Bridge Over Troubled Water and How Great Thou Art (the 70s version)#Fans who think he peaked in the 50s are kidding themselves#His voice matured into something so beautiful and POWERFUL. Especially by the 70s#Like even his last (documented) 1977 concert...where he's swaying on his feet...delirious...basically dying onstage...he sounds incredible.#The music within his heart remained unscathed by the physical and mental strain he was enduring daily by that point#and I think that's beautiful ( if not very bittersweet )#we watched Christmas at Graceland so forgive me if I'm deep in my Elvis Feels tonight lol#On a lighter note : I thought Posty totally killed Devil In Disguise#I LOL'd when he leapt into the pool ( I feel like that was totally unplanned. But how are you Not going to dive into the Graceland pool )
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cause of death:
#he literally sounded incredible#the fucking wilmonification of the qx gala was not on my bingo card but hot DAMN am i happy#jfc#that’s so insane#they really did that huh#i’m getting wille and simon at hillerska graduation after wille has announced his abdication and they’re looking forward to their new lives#together and simon finally performs his song for the school and ends it with wille by his side#don’t fucking touch me i’m emotional 😭#young royals#edvin ryding#omar rudberg#idek if j should tag e and o or wille and simon please advise#my yr thoughts#mine
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My lyrics for Double!! I really loved this song and became like a thousand times more impressed by Deco27 and Natsuki Hanae after working with it for so long 😅 I chickened out of recording this one in the apartment but if anyone wants to cover it... lmk.... 👀 I can definitely put something together to help hear how the rhythms work, because I got it all to line up very nicely! (Lyrics under the cut and my little commentary in the tags)
(I’ve got you, leave it to me!)
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Not a smile in this mess, you're doing your best, you say (wake up)
"Don't need a break" as you proceed to start breaking, both sleeping and waking makes you bleed
And now, reborn anew -- I'll take in on for you
Not your plan? Who gives a damn, I'm here and here is where I'll stay
It's just the two of us, nothing left to run from. You're safe now, your hero's come.
All I did was dream, is that a crime? Is that enough to name me guilty by?
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
Ah, I'm the one that saved you, don't you see? So tell me why the hell you cry to me!
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- oh, sing to me.
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Too late, your limits passed. Too late, yourself has cracked (goodnight)
If you persist I'll assist with releasing, keeping your peace is why I exist
And now reborn anew -- I'll take it on for you
(Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah.. well, I mean, some days are hard but I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off...)
The reason I'm alive, must be making sure that you survive
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
All I did was dream, did you forget? Go on and forgive me, I'm no threat.
Listen to me confess, honest. Eat your words and I bet, regret
Ah, I just tried to help, tried to be strong. So tell me why the hell it's all gone wrong
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- don't sing me this song
Lost my memory
I'm double, it was unavoidable
Living painfully
I'm trying, as hard as possible
Tell me, tell me.
If I wasn't born, maybe this trouble --
Tell me, tell me.
It's all my fault
#milgram#mikoto kayano#lyrics#i feel bad it cut in front of the other milgram songs but it was a lot easier than the others#(not that it was easy by any means but the other ones are giving me even more trouble asdfsdf)#but yeah!!! im so happy with these!!!#i will forever be jealous of the rhyming in the original refrain --#nante itte/natte nande/datte sugatte/utatte tatte IS SO WONDERFULLY SATISFYING#it makes me crazyyyyyy#i know i dont get half that fun in mine but im still really satisfying with the rhymes/phrasing#wtf is going on in the rest of the song 😭 i came for the incredible refrain and had to deal with all That......#the 'dont need a break' and 'if you persist' lines gave me so much trouble 😭 he just keeps on going.....#i took a bit of a liberty with the 'sing to me' line because every version of 'thatd be good' sounded so lame 😅#trying to do some kind of play on sing your sins while its john really wanting to communicate but idk if that worked#an unintended but exciting detail is 'you say' sounding like 'you say wake up' rather than 'you say dont need a break'#since thats right when he wakes john up so to speak#any milgram pals who want to sing -- these are always open to use >:3
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Looks like the replaced Ed after all.
Someone just recently posted two new HH cilp leaks from the show and i’m not likening Al’s new voice.
https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/139566952/
Forget Alastor, what the hell's going on with Lucifer's voice
And the former is missing the radio effect, so it should end up sounding marginally different, but... yeah, Anon. I can understand you.
#confession#Lucifer sounds so. incredibly bland#like they'd found some boy band singer from the 2010s and were like ''yeah sure that'll do''#like. THAT's what the mythical fallen angel father of all sin sounds like??#and if he's supposed to be goofy. which he is. then Weird Al Yankovich that shit!!#lean into it!!#hazbin hotel critical#alastor#lucifer#I did NOT expect that voice for the man and I do not like it#also yeah Alastor's a bit squeakier. everyone sounds so young
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