#he is trying oh so so hard to be a twunk and it works sometimes I'll give him that NDNDJD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writing-for-the-gays · 3 months

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helloo!! i would like to request evan/habit x fat/plus size ftm reader. smut if thats ok :3c

can be headcanons or a drabble or anything else, i don't really mind ^_^

head canon + drabble/one shot yahoo

Oh, deer!

Warnings+tags: smut, Evan being a bit of a chaser, my own fat kink getting in the way, uh, whoops(?)Vinny being a victim of walking into shenanigans. You squirt in this and Evan drinks it like water.

Evan gonna be making a different one for habit bc they are two separate entities sharing a twunk body.

Evan: (Evan is deer coded 👍)

- He's tender but not soft, sentimental too.

- don't get me wrong, he'd never hurt you! (Unless you asked, "politely, like a good boy.") but he's not going to treat you like you're going to break with the slightest touch.

-he'll grab you with rough calloused hands and slam you on his dick with you begging for more, while telling you about how good you're being for him, and how much he loves you.

- he loves grabbing your tummy and watching the way it moves under his hands. I can't describe how Into your tummy he is.

- like, good luck with trying to get anything done when he's coming up from behind to slip his hands under your shirt to grab your belly.

- u know the fold in-between your hips and chest? He uses those as handles when he's fucking you, sorry.

-he also loves grabbing your chest , sometimes not even in a horny way, just kinda resting his hands there while y'all cuddle.

- he likes running his fingers through your chest hair too.

-ok he just loves your body, he can't keep his hands off you. He'll grab at anything he can, your ass, hips, love handles, boobs, ECT. He's a very handsy guy. He just wants to feel you.

- total munch, he sucks your T-dick so hard your thighs quiver and you're basically sobbing.

- he loves t-guy pussy, just can't get enough of it. Sucks your t-dick like a binki

- "Evan can you please suck my di-"

-"SIR YES SIR 🫡🇺🇸🦅"

- he loves it when you ride his face too, will literally beg for it. You'll try to pull away to give him air and he grabs your thighs to pull you back onto his face.

- by the time you can actually pull off his face is literally glistening, and you get so embarrassed and he just laughs in that kinda drunk dizzy way (he totally gets hole drunk).

- low-key an exhibitionist. King's fucking you in his car in-between shoots for EMH 🩷 teasing you Abt getting caught. Which has happened. (Vinny always texts you two before walking back to the car to make sure you're decent, he didn't before.)

- He loves edging! Don't ask me why I just KNOW!

- he's obsessed with your body hair. Once you went swimming with the crew and you had a binder and swim trunks on and your happy trail was on full display and he fucked you against the side of the car so hard you had a limp for the rest of the day.

Smut

Evans hands gripped your thighs digging his fingers into the soft fat, his tongue circling your T-dick as he hollowed his cheeks and sucked slightly.

He peers up and over your belly as your head lolls back. He pulls away and you stiffen, letting out a keen from the back of your throat. Evans face is covered in slick, which glistens under dim lights.

You lazily roll your head forward to look at him, his face tucked in-between plush hairy thighs. "Ev- Ev, please i... I need you suck my dick Please- pleaseplease-!"

Before your begging could get any louder he dove back in, sloppily bobbing his head on your t-dick, while alternating between gulping down your slickness and giving you the best fucking head of your life.

Your climax comes fast and hard this time, surprising you and Evan. Your face scrunches up and you tense like the string of a bow, letting out a deep wanton groan. You grip his hair and pull him against your t-dick, his nose nestled in your pubes drinking up your squirt like it's his life source.

His eyes are half lidded and dark. He works you through your orgasm lavishing in the way your thighs clench around his head and jiggle with every jolt of post orgasm pleasure.

He runs his hands up and down your belly, lightly pushing and prodding like a kitten finding milk, enjoying the softness and warmth beneath his fingers.

As you come back down from your high you can feel his fingers trace patterns in your skin. "Pretty boy, you're back." He says softly, a smile gracing his wet face "I hope you're ready for another round."

#x male reader #x ftm reader #x pre op reader #x chubby reader #x hairy reader #Evan EMH x male reader #evan x male reader

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hyperfixationspam · 2 years

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fantasy high characters as things i've heard at school (from teachers and students)

Fig: Yeah, I used to be a hoe back in the day.

Fabian: All the girls want me for my money. I take you on a date, I buy you a gumball.

Fig: Kristen's a big lesbian, I'm a big bi, Fabian's a big... uh... whore?

Adaine: It's horrible here. Everyone's gay and it smells bad.

Goldenhoard: You're going to detention. | Fig: Oooh, cute!

Riz: On a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can possibly look, I'm a nineteen.

Fig: Just because anal is my catchphrase doesn't mean I like to do it.

Kristen: Hey, you want a condom? | Fabian: (through tears) Yeah.

Tracker: Kristen jokes about wanting to lose her virginity in a Walmart but she says it so much that it's kind of worrying.

Gorgug: I asked what a bukkake was and Jawbone came up and explained it to me.

Fabian: I thought you got an Apple and I was really proud of you but then I realized it was an Android and you're poor.

Bill: Hey! No sex in this household if you're not wearing full armor!

Fabian: There's no one here that I like. | Riz: I am sitting RIGHT next to you.

Ragh: I punch furries and minorities, and you're a double whammy.

Fig: Principal Aguefort lowkey has a handsome energy.

Fabian: I was in the middle of beating my meat and my battery died. | Riz: The battery in your dick??

Fig: If this school burns down, I'll be over here roasting marshmallows.

Gorgug: What would happen I call girls oatmeal? | Kristen: You'd get all the girls.

Fabian: If the vice principal's in prison, we're legally allowed to leave.

Riz: Aguefort is NOT a twink, he's a twunk at best.

Fig: (winks) That was a threat!

Gorgug: You won't find anything dirty in my search history, all you'll find is Japanese dubs of Phineas and Ferb.

Torek: I fucking hate this school. So many fake skaters.

Kristen: Riz! Stop biting the condom box!

Fabian: I can only listen to Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds, any other music makes me physically sick.

Riz: My mom asked me what I want for my birthday and I don't know how to tell her I want a Spiderman costume.

Fig: I drew fanart of Coach Daybreak as a long furby and he threatened to kill me.

Gilear: People judge me for drinking too much diet soda but at least I don't do meth.

Kristen: He's not hot, he just has a leather jacket.

Fig: Everyone's first crush was on a Creepypasta character. | Adaine: Your experiences are NOT universal.

Gorgug: Oh, my single brain cell is TWEAKING right now.

Kristen: The answer is 69 but Biz wouldn't know that because virginity rocks.

Fig: My teacher kicked me out of class because he couldn't handle my energy.

Kristen: (chanting) KILL THE CHURCH! KILL THE CHURCH! KILL THE CHURCH!

Fig: Tieflings are a gateway drug to more tieflings.

Riz: I drink protein drinks! | Fabian: Oh, cool, what kind? | Riz: Um. Nesquik.

Adaine: I did bad on my test so now I have to listen to the entire Steven Universe soundtrack.

Fabian: (coughs up blood) That's from all the bad vibes at this school.

Riz: Hey, if I ate this rock, what diseases would I get?

Fig: Sometimes I forget how white Kristen is and then she does that little wave at me.

Kristen: I fuck Helioic girls until they're not Helioic anymore.

Fig: I just wish I could see Satan's face.

Fabian: I think we should restart the trend of shoving nerds in lockers, starting with Riz.

Riz: Stop staring at me and do your work. I'm not an attraction. I'm just a kid eating paper.

Aguefort: Don't wander around the hallways or the drug dealers will get you!

Fig: I'm having a crisis! No, I will not elaborate!

Ragh: Freshie is a slur.

Riz: If I had magic I would probably set my balls on fire.

Adaine: This class is singlehandedly making my hair go gray.

Ragh: Hey, do you mind if I beat your ass?

Kristen: Lift your head up, queen, your strap is falling.

Riz: Ew, I don't want your lice. My lice are fine on their own, thank you very much.

Kristen: God blocked me on Facebook.

Gorgug: Wait, pineapples are real?

Kristen: I'm trying to convert her to lesbianism. She's already a liberal so it shouldn't be hard.

Gorgug: Do you ever just wanna like... kill people? | Kristen: ...No?

Fig: Dude, are you watching porn? | Fabian: No! It's hentai!

Adaine: My sister asked me if she should get a tattoo of baby Yoda?

Riz: Someone offered to give me a stick and poke and I was too scared to say no so I have a tattoo now, I guess.

Gilear: I just don't understand why people are attracted to foxes.

Adaine: Well, I'm traumatized. | Jawbone: Noooo, don't do that!

Fabian: Good news, everyone! My fish died.

Ragh: It's like when you level up in a mobile game, except I leveled up to homosexuality.

Gorgug: The door's locked. | Riz: Only if you don't believe in yourself!

Sklonda: I'm concerned for your health and safety. | Riz: I don't have health or safety.

Adaine: Capitalism isn't a cult. | Fig: Money cult. | Adaine: Hm. Good point.

Fig: Ugh, I want her to crush my skull like a watermelon. | Adaine: Ayda would never do that! | Fig: Exactly, that's the best part!

Gorgug: Hey, Zelda, you wanna go see the Sonic movie together? We can hold hands during the scary parts.

Fabian: They're old enough to have sex, they're like 10.

Gorgug: I have a science question. How do the fish in Spongebob have a swimming pool if they live underwater? | Adaine: Spongebob's not real.

Adaine: And guess what lives in my backpack? My computer. | Ayda: Aww, I thought you were gonna say a small frog.

Fig: Someone needs to tell Aguefort that his teachers are wilin.

Gilear: I might be hungover on Wednesday but we'll power through it.

Kristen: I hate gay people because all my problems were caused by a gay person. It's me, but still.

Gorgug: I can't wait to go back to real school and get bullied.

Fig: Ooh, you practice Satanism? That's so poggers.

Fabian: You're all just Rally's fry crumbs to me.

Fig: If you have chemistry class, just leave. You don't need that kind of toxicity in your life.

Jawbone: Nooo, you don't suck! Unless you want to.

Adaine: It is shocking that people are still ignorant to racism just because they don't experience it firsthand. | Fabian: Yeah, anyway, y'all hear about Kanye cheating on Kim with Jeffree Star?

Aguefort: When I was your age, we attacked each other in person like civilized people!

Riz: Oh my god. The school is selling students on the dark web!

Fig: You should go to Build-a-bear! | Gilear: I think if I went to Build-a-bear alone I would get put on an FBI watchlist.

Riz: I forgot to take my antidepressants but I've had a coffee and two donuts so that's almost the same thing!

Fig: Goldenrod is my poor little meow meow.

Riz: Someone called me kawaii, I hate it here.

Adaine: Our lives aren't interesting enough for Aguefort to be in the mafia.

Kristen: Gilear is only slightly dilfy.

Gilear: Can you stop talking about the Aguefort hoes? I'm not interested.

Adaine: I like your egg earrings! | Ayda: THANKS THEY'RE EGGCELLENT. (exhale) Oh thank god, I've been waiting to say that all day.

Adaine: WHY WOULD YOU ERASE THE FROG YOU MURDERER??

Gilear: This yogurt tastes like my desire to kill myself.

Fabian: I'm NOT on crack, I'm just in sports mode.

Ragh: I'm gonna go home and do manly stuff. Like cower in pain.

Fig: Everyone here is bad at their job but I still respect them.

Gorgug: I'm a gamer! I play rock paper scissors.

Kristen: Uh oh, my lesbian's getting out of control. I might have to neuter her.

Jawbone: You're only tired because of capitalism. | Fabian: Could you elaborate on that? | Jawbone: I could.

Kristen: That wasn't very gender sexuality alliance of you.

Gorgug: I don't like insulting people. If I want to hurt someone, I'll just murder them.

Ragh: I have so much brawling to do.

Fabian: It's not that I don't hit women, I just don't hit lesbians because I know they'll beat the shit out of me.

Adaine: Forgiveness is not an option, but death is.

Riz: You called my mom a milf! | Fig: Well, what was I supposed to do? Lie?

Helio: That is an excellent question which I will not be answering.

Adaine: The librarian scares me. I feel like she would punch me without remorse.

Fabian: He's the Jack to my Rose but in a bromance way.

Kristen: If God loves me, I'll do good on this test.

Adaine: I'm not a big fan of trespassing. | Fig: Why not? It's so much fun!

Goldenhoard: Trust me, if I was racist, I would have called you a slur a long time ago.

Gorgug: Wow, this song is... bonkers.

Fig: I could never work in customer service. Like "oh have a nice day!" Gross. I could never.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #long post

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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The “Momma Sturmvoraus was Literally Satan” AU

As requested by @spazzbot. This AU was initially brainstormed on the GG fanworks server almost a year ago. Specifically, on the first day of 2020.

[ID: a truncated discord message by “Miss Nixy, Gay for RoboLadies” posted 01/01/2020. The message reads “I need to sleep but please for the moment consider:” and ends there.]

So. Let’s get to it.

Satan took a human form because why not see what's going on topside, live like a human, and “Oh shit is this pregnancy? This is pregnancy. Fuck, that's a tiny human. Which is now half demon. Am I supposed to take care it? Wonder if retconing this form into that Valois family was a bad idea. They do have SO much money though, I get to live like a queen. I suppose another child shouldn't hurt, it wasn't that bad. Oh, he's cute, this is actually making sense, why humans do all the sinning. Not counting dear Aaronev's murders, of course, those are just evil, but I did search out the worst of the humans to pair myself to...”

This is literally just "Tarvek and Anevka's mom was low-key Satan on a bored “let's be human for a decade or two to see what happens” jaunt, consequences happen because these kids are LITERALLY half-demon and arguably anti-Christs."

Also it's just Very Funny for Tarvek, ineffectual sexy lamp fashion twunk extraordinaire, to be an antichrist

Jeff thinks he’s pretty. Jeff keeps describing features that don’t entirely make sense. (Jeff’s canon name is Karl Thotep but they spent so long unnamed that the server collectively named them Jeff.)

This is not a crossover with anything, btw. Ambiguously Pop Culture Satan just got bored and went to have babies with a serial killer.

They’re just kids! That are vaguely demonic. So. Moreso than the rest of the Valois.

Sometimes "mom" comes back from the dead and visits Anevka and Tarvek to impart Wisdom and possibly magic lessons The rooms always smell faintly of sulfur after that...

They try to put Anevka in the machine but SHE isn't hurt and the MACHINE just melts

So that's the end of that.

It's very awkward for everyone, but the paperwork isn't too bad. It's very easy to write "incidental fire began during late-fugue experimentation, resulted in fire spreading through six rooms and several casualties, including Prince Aaronev Wilhelm Sturmvoraus."

As per @atagotiak, “I feel like if we’re going in any way dimensional weirdness with thing, Tarvek got so good at exploring bc he could just clip through walls.”

With image provided by @thisarenotarealblog:

Tarvek in Paris: My dead mother keeps showing up in my dreams to tell me I need to seduce my way out of my problems and also she looks like Satan. Tarvek's Voltaire-Appointed Therapist: I still don't know what that means. Just like the last five times. Tarvek: I keep telling her that I can’t seduce Colette, if seduction is that important she should get Anevka to do it.

Like he probably wouldn’t say most of that in front of any Voltaire-approved individual, but still.

Tarvek is still very good at self control but there's a Special Edge to his rants.

(Derailed in the moment to me thinking about Anevka in a sfw-but-concerningly-deadly succubus getup, because... yeah.)

Aaronev dies and goes to hell and his dead wife is just there like "hi! Time to be tortured for eternity!" He wasn't a good husband so. He can't exactly sentimentalize his way out.

“In the sexy way?” “... not for you, no.”

Mostly I just want the BULLSHIT that is "Storm Mom was actually just Satan getting bored and going on vacation as a retconned Valois girl, the kids are half-demons and sometimes it Shows."

To clarify: the Satan bit isn't the retcon. Grandma used to have one daughter. Now there are two. (Seffie and Martellus's mother doesn't remember being an only child, but sometimes...)

Satan retconned a new daughter in, which included a Valid Valois Venusian Vestment, so the blood tests play out.

The subtle signs of wrongness would be fun too. Anevka tends to smile a bit too wide and sharp for a human face. Inexplicable uneasiness, here you can’t point at any specific thing that’s wrong but it’s uncomfortable. Uncanny valley prettiness, almost like the porcelain she became in other timelines. Skin isn’t supposed to be that smooth.

My brain's pre-nap contribution at that point was "Satan's pronouns when not pretending to Human are sin/sinself" which is! Certainly a thing.

Tarvek, at some nebulous future point: I mean, your ancestors were monsters, but my dad was a serial killer and my mom was literally Satan, instead of just figuratively like Lucrezia, so. I mean. I kind of get what you're going through.

Per @firebirdeternal: Tarvek and Anevka growing up with "you're allergic to holy water" and not questioning it until a little later because What.

And then they test it and it's like "yeah, no, there's a rash now. That stung. What the fuck."

It INFURIATES Gil in Paris when Tarvek tells him that's a thing, because there's nothing chemically different about Holy water and regular water. But no, this is somehow happening.

It gets logged in medical journals as a Valois genetic thing because, well, Mom was like that too, right?

One time they both go into a church for an Adventure and Gil is very annoyed to find that Tarvek is like. Faintly smoking. It smells like burnt hair in here.

Gil: What smells like burnt hairgel? Tarvek: [glares]

Gil decides that it must be something particular to the church, like a fungus or something in the stone, contaminating the air and water so it only LOOKS like the holiness is what's setting off reactions.

It is not.

Tarvek once got into an argument with someone and ate a slab of raw, completely uncooked meat as a power move.

SVV seems to work perfectly. Everyone is fine. We get the ‘you fight like ducks’ moment.

And then Tarvek bursts into flames, and everyone panics because no they fixed this what the fuck is he still infected with Hogfarb’s oh my god... and then everything settles down and he's perfectly fine. Not a scratch on him, no longer turning funny colors. Completely unharmed. He's in a nicely tailored suit and looks faintly stunned

"I just met my dead mom, who's apparently Satan. She told me that after I died the first time just now, I should be harder to kill later, especially with fire, because now there's more demon and less mortal and guys I think I'm going crazy." "Is that a martini?" Tarvek looks down. "Apparently."

Tarvek starts just. Randomly setting things on fire by glaring too hard and has to tone it down. Meanwhile, Agatha and Gil are having crises about how he's somehow getting PRETTIER.

Is he faintly glowing? Maybe!

Gil handles it by angrily sniping at Tarvek about how of COURSE he's an evil little rat with a background like that.

Tarvek just wants a nap and to forget this ever happened. Many people are sworn to secrecy. It's very awkward.

Still, SVV did something, for handwave-y reasons, and so they're linked now. Gil and Agatha both getting tiny flashes of the same shenanigans.

They get none of the powers. They just keep getting Weird Shit.

Other characters with divine influence are like "Did you.... did you make a pact with a demon?" "What no that's our boyfriend."

Tho tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if a Heterodyne did sign a contract with a demon at some point in exchange for like. Materials. A hundred souls sacrificed in exchange for some succubus blood. Thanks!

Tarvek and Othar: Falling out of CW as in canon. Tarvek: WHAT THE HELL SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE WINGS HIDE THIS BEFORE I GET BOOTED FROM THE LINE FOR THE THRONE

IDK where Anevka is during all this. I think she might have decided to go sleep her way through the courts of the Ice Tsars. Vacation, y'know?

Othar after he's decided to make Tarvek his new Heroic Apprentice: AH, my poor afflicted young friend, it's noble of you to go against the dark nature of your tragic heritage like this. Tarvek: I hate you. I wish I could hate you to death. But you have a point. I shouldn't let my father's blood limit what I strive for in life. Othar: I... I thought your mother was... Tarvek: I know what I said.

Tarvek: Also you can't tell ANYONE about that, I can't have them thinking I'm not actually in line for the Storm King's throne.

He does admittedly have to like. Explain things to Grandma.

Terabithia is Tarvek’s maternal grandmother so this is supremely awkward. That said...

Grandma fondly remembers her pregnancy cravings; bone marrow and sulfur.

"Yeah so, my mother, your daughter, was... maybe actually Satan? But retconned into your life?" "Tarvek, darling, please. I figured that out half a century ago."

TARVEK ACCIDENTALLY FINDS HIM HIMSELF WEIRDLY INTENSE AT CONTRACTS

I mean that honestly just Tracks about Tarvek anyways? But like moreso.

He just. Writes something up and there's things getting signed or shook on and then the person tries to break the contract and either suddenly catch fire or are deeply unlucky for a set amount of time.

And Tarvek's just standing there like "how in the FUCK did I do that?"

Severity of infernal punishment depends on the severity of the breach of contract.

Tarvek finds out that Anevka's been convincing rich people to sign their souls over to her. It's a fun challenge. She keeps them in jars.

They can still remotely pilot their bodies but like. They can't TELL anyone what happened.

Satan: I'm going to go make babies and now everyone else has to deal with the consequences.

Anevka's living up to that whole "princess of hell" vibe. Tarvek's just like "nope nope nope I want the storm throne, not the hell throne, BYE MOM."

Satan's just feeling sinself down in hell like "awwww look at my babies go, aren't they adorable?"

Tarvek: Anevka, what... first off, how did you figure it out? Anevka: Well, I temporarily died when father put me in the machine, and... I can't say that hell kicked me out because they were afraid I'd take over, but mother DID say she'd rather I play about with human governments instead of Hell's. Tarvek: Okay, cool cool cool. What after you planning to DO with all these souls? Anevka: They make for some lovely reading lamps, don't they?

(Anevka absolutely sets herself the goal of acquiring new titles that rival her old ones, or even surpass them. She just black widows her way through Europa.)

I just want someone (probably Snackleford) to ascend, take one look at Tarvek, and run SCREAMING.

Tarvek still needed to be anchored to Higgs, because Tarvek is Baby.

Gil is eventually in a relationship with an Eternal God Queen and the Literal Son of Satan.

Family dinners can include ALL the in-laws if you duck down to hell! - You borrow Bill from... probably heaven, maybe purgatory. - You have Lu and Aaronev and Satan already there, though the first two... well. Aaronev and Lu get invited to dinner but they have to eat by themselves at the kiddy table and nobody talks to them or acknowledges their presence. After all, this is hell, and what better punishment for Lu than to be completely ignored, and for Aaronev to see Lu at her worst and be reminded that he gave everything for this horrible, horrible person who isn't even pretending to care about him anymore. - Zanta and Klaus get invited via portal. - Anevka saunters in with a blood-soaked dress and a complaint about militant demon-hunters refusing to let her go shopping for a new pair of shoes. - Zeetha tagged along with the OT3. (She can't wait to see this situation explode.)

Oh God, Satan is actually second place as far as good parenting goes.

Well, actually, fourth. Because Adam and Lilith. But second as far as bio parents go. 1. Zanta 2. Satan 3. Klaus 4/5. Lu and Aaronev N/A. Bill

Someone (Anevka) decides to stir the pot and invites Von Pinn, Terabithia, Bang.

Bang is basically Gil’s older sister, right? Right.

This is Zanta meeting Bang for the first time! Zanta is just: "It's so nice to meet my husband's adopted daughter." Klaus freezes. Bang freezes. Gil is the only one who is just. "Yeah." Meanwhile Zeetha is crying with laughter off to the side because both of them deserve this. (Zanta would legit love Bang though.)

Agatha: Tarvek, I think DuPree is-- Tarvek: Hitting on my sister? I know. Agatha: On your mom, actually. Tarvek: NO!

Also I do love the idea of like. Nobody tells Bang they're inviting her. She just wakes up in Hell like. "Ah. Yes. Fair enough."

Satan: Oh no no no my dear, you're here as a guest. Besides as well as you'd fit you're not one of mine, you've got other things waiting for you. Bang: Okay, but I love the decor. And is that Cheesecake?

Bang’s family has their own evil god in the novels, but! Bang DID pick on Tarvek a lot in Paris. Satan cares more than Anevka does. Bang might get the sexy punishment.

I feel like the fact that no permanent damage was done and it taught Tarvek a lot of things means Satan isn't gonna be all that upset about it.

And let's be real, if there's a character in GG who could look the literal Christian devil in the eye and be like "Yeah I tortured your kid, what're you going to do about it?" it's Bang.

Even Satan doesn't know what to do or think about Othar.

He sure is here! As Anevka’s arm candy! Nobody knows what to do except Anevka herself, who just wants to be Smug.

(What's that scene from Phineas and Ferb that's the mad scientist trapping the platypus within the rules of polite dining at a fine restaurant? Like he can't make a scene because that would be rude?) (That. Othar would dearly love to start a fight, but it's a Family Dinner. You're only allowed to fight verbally at those.)

(Othar isn't even fighting Satan, he just wants to argue with Klaus.) (And maybe fanboy in Bill's direction a bit).

#Girl Genius #Phoenix Posts #Anevka Sturmvoraus #Tarvek Sturmvoraus #Aaronev Sturmvoraus #Gilgamesh Wulfenbach #Agatha Heterodyne #Lucrezia Mongfish #Othar Tryggvassen #Bangladesh DuPree #Otharnevka #GG OT3

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surferboypizzas · 3 years

Text

The Reconciliation

summary: an ahs; coven fix-it-fic in which zoe tricks kyle and madison into reconciling.

warning: this fic includes discussion of s*xual assault and death. also swearing.

what you need to know about this au before reading:

Zoe was friends with Kyle before he died, and when Zoe and Madison brought zombified Kyle back to the coven, he was taken in by the small school.

There never was (and is not currently) anything romantic or sexual going on between Zoe, Madison, and Kyle.

Kyle did attempt to kill madison, he did not succeed. Ironically, he was stopped by Zoe, who (newly resurrected by Cordelia) ran upstairs after hearing screaming.

Fiona did not "fix" (I hate using that word in relation to him, but still) Kyle the way she does in the show.

The school has not been opened up to other witches outside of the coven, but this is a while after the events of Coven.

Misty and Nan are alive.

Madison and Zoe aren't gross people. Think of a gross bad thing they've done? It's gone. I've erased it. Never happened. We all know Queenie is the only canonically good person who is also a witch student in Coven.

~~~

"Ok. Now, Kyle, you go first." Zoe speaks from her space in between Kyle and Madison, who are standing across her room from each other. Snow falls outside, and the school’s old heater creaks in the background. For the last two weeks, Zoe had been waiting for the perfect moment to trap these two in a room together and convince them to make amends. Kyle turns to look at Zoe with a face of pure disbelief.

“Sh-” He points to Madison with his eyes wide, “She ki-killed me!”

Zoe looked at him with her arms crossed. “And you tried to kill her! C’mon, Kyle. Please just- apologize?” Kyle squinted at her and then sighed, nodding his head and pressing his palms together nervously while he turned back to Madison.

“I’m so-rry. Sorry.” He apologized half-heartedly. He could never say no to his friends, especially Zoe.

Madison smiled and sarcastically placed her hand over her heart. “Well, that was moving. I think we really made a breakthrough here! Thanks, Kyle! See ya!" Madison starts to make her way out of the room before Zoe grabs her arm to keep her from leaving. Madison slows to a stop right in front of the door.

“Madison.” When Madison still didn’t turn to look at her, Zoe uses her nickname. “Mads, you made up with Misty, who you actually tried to kill, is it so hard to make up with Kyle?" Madison rolled her eyes at Zoe’s trademark ‘mom tone’ that she only used with her. She hated how Zoe had started to shift the way she spoke to be tailored to each person around her. At first, Madison thought it was just some weird baby voice she used on Kyle, until one day she realized Zoe had given her a baby voice too. That she had started treating Madison like she was going to throw a fit if not handled in a specific way. She finally turns back to face Zoe.

“Give me one reason why I should, and- don’t give me that ‘because I said so’ bullshit," Madison says. Zoe pauses for a second before pulling both Madison and herself back to their original spots.

“Listen up, you are both very important to me and the rest of our family,” Zoe started (Madison already wanted to Vincent van Gogh her ears off), “and it would mean a lot if you two were to make up. I love you both, and I just want the people I love to get along. Is that really so hard to understand and achieve?” Zoe ends her sentence looking at Madison with a slightly pleading look.

Madison glances at Kyle and sees how easily his grumpy face melted into a grin at the word ‘family’ and rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She spoke, then sees Kyle’s smile grow. “Not for you, dumbass. For Zoe.” Kyle blinks at her dumbfounded, but not quite offended. Zoe looks between the two, she is clearly thrilled that her plan is working, but is attempting to contain her delight.

"So... I'm like... sorry. I guess." Madison says, clearly uncomfortable. Zoe moves her hand signaling her to keep going, (this is also an attempt to teach Kyle non-punchy conflict resolution skills, after all). So Madison restarts. this time actually looking Kyle in the eye.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for killing you, and I'm sorry for bringing you back." Kyle’s face twists in confusion at those last words, why would she be sorry for bringing him to the coven? Was she being sarcastic? It didn't feel like she was. He thinks Madison is finished for a moment, but she continues. "I'm going to be soft as hell for a second, so Kyle, listen up because I will never repeat this. Ever. And if you bring this up ever again I will gaslight the shit out of you and deny it ever happened. Now, you," she pointed at Zoe, "Need to leave so that I can be honest."

“Wait- me?” Zoe points at herself in confusion.

“No bitch, the ghost behind you. Yes, you. Trust me.” Madison says, gesturing at her to leave the room. Kyle and Zoe look at each other (Kyle seeming a little nervous), then Zoe nods and exits the room, closing the door behind her. For a moment Zoe considers eavesdropping through the door, but then decides to take the moral high ground... and considers listening with a spell instead.

Madison walks around Kyle to drape herself over Zoe’s soft chair by the window, and Kyle sits on Zoe’s bed, having to carefully move her books to do so. There is a moment of awkward silence, and Kyle starts picking at the fuzzballs on his red sweater. He wants to give her time to think of what she wants to say. His eyes snap up to hers when she starts speaking again.

"I'm sorry for being more bitchy to you than I am to the average person. It's just that- It's just that you... ok, let me explain. So you know how Zoe and I put your twunk ass back together with different limbs and shit? The frat boys' limbs?" Kyle nods, even though he doesn’t know what a twunk is. "So- to me, you're this lumbering giant whose arms and legs are this constant reminder of... the shit that happened.” Kyle tilts his head at this. Not only because the last word he would use to describe himself is giant, Kyle felt small most of the time. But also because he doesn't really remember much of what happened before he was dead, and assumes she is referring to the other Kyle. The Kyle without scars that Zoe has a few pictures of. "Shit, you don't know what happened." Kyle shakes his head and goes to say something, but Madison speaks before he can. "All you need to know is that some people were doing bad things. To me. And they were your... friends. Or whatever."

Kyle could tell Madison was trying to stay casual, but he has a sinking feeling that what happened to her wasn't nothing. "B- bad thing- gs?" He asks.

Madison was stiffer and speaking softer than before. Kyle had only seen her act small once before, and it was when he was hurting her. His stomach filled with guilt, usually, he tries not to think about what he did too often. He didn't like that feeling. "Yeah, Kyle. Bad things." Madison says while looking out the window.

Something in Kyle recognizes her tone and posture. He can’t quite put a finger on what, though. "Hur- hurt you?" He asks. Kyle watches Madison shrink in her chair and decides to go back to picking at his sweater, and attempt not to pressure her to respond quickly. As he does, the familiarity of the situation continues to tug at him. She looks a bit like how he felt after what happened at the other Kyle’s house. Or how he felt when he thought about the lady there. Zoe says that lady is (or... was) his mother, but he doesn't believe her. He sees mothers on the TV every day, and that lady is not at all what a mother is. If anything, Ms. Cordelia was his mother. she was all grown up, and Kyle was only 19. Ms. Cordelia never yelled at him, always helped him when he got in big trouble, and gave him those gross leaves when his stomach hurt. Kyle thinks about who Madison's mother might be. He hopes that Madison can talk to her about the bad things that happened.

Looking back up at the unusually vulnerable girl across from him, who is hugging her knees and staring out the window, he feels about her the way he feels about who he used to be. He wants to hug her and protect her and tell her that it’s not her fault those people made her so sick, and that he is so sorry he hurt her, and that he knows she feels soft and stained- but that one day she will be allowed to be happy and messy and big at the same time.

"Yes." Her words snap him out of his own head and back into the situation at hand. Madison's neutral expression does not waver.

Kyle points at himself and decides to ask just one more question, the one ringing in the back of his mind. "My Frien- ds?"

Madison is quiet for a moment before responding. "They were your friends. But you- I really don’t think you knew they were bad, Kyle. The thing is that... when I see your tattoos... I start to think about what happened, and when you make sudden moves I jump a little. So it was, sometimes still is, hard for me to be around you. You're just- big. If that makes sense. Like they were. I'm sorry for giving you those parts of them... for making you carry their shit with you. At least some parts of their sorry asses were finally put to good use when they became a part of your whole labrador retriever thing you've got going on.” Kyle is clearly upset by the fact that he cared about such bad people, and that he couldn’t tell they were mean sooner. “Oh, stop giving me that guilty look like you had something to do with what happened to me. You tried to help me, shithead. Now calm down." Madison says.

"I help-p ed you?" A soft smile starts spreading across Kyle's face.

Madison raises her eyebrows at his reaction. "Calm down Kyle, stopping those guys was a bare minimum thing to do." Madison starts, (Kyle frowns), "But thank you. For 'protecting' me or whatever. Congratulations! I guess you were always meant to be our guard dog."

Despite her insults, Kyle once again feels a surge of affection rise inside of him towards her. This time, he stumbles over to Madison, leans down, and engulfs her in a hug. He was never good with boundaries. He couldn't use his words to express himself, so he leaned on using physical affection (or fighting people but that wasn't currently applicable) to show people how he felt. His eyes instantly widened and he quickly pulled away.

"Sor-ry!" He stepped away from her, hanging his head and mumbling like an embarrassed child. “S-udden Move-ment." Kyle brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes before looking back at her to see if she looked upset.

Something inside of Madison grew sappy and soft. This idiot toddler-man had somehow comprehended the convoluted shit she was saying, and is trying to change his behavior according to it. She stands up and speaks, "It's fine Kyle. Really. Just, warn me next time. Or walk slower if talking is too hard."

Kyle decides to take the latter approach. "O-Ok." He said, then began to approach her very slowly. Like- very, very, very slowly.

Madison wishes there was someone else in the room she could look at to confirm that Kyle was, in fact, being insane. "Ok, I don't have all day. I'm going to need something faster than a snail's pace." She says.

Kyle stops and wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Snails. yuck!"

Madison’s expression turns into one of pure (amused) shock. "So the two words you do fully have down are 'snails. yuck.'? How- how does that even happen? Don't answer that, I don’t care. Hurry it up. Hug me now or never, Day of the Dead."

Kyle walked up to Madison and bear hugs her, she is significantly shorter than him, so she almost disappears into his sweater. Madison doesn’t hug him back at first, she instead lets her arms fall to her sides.

"F-riends now." He pats her on the head gently and intentionally. "Sa-safe now." He says in the softest voice he can muster (generally Kyle finds that he is stuck speaking at one volume, and that volume is loud).

Madison freezes at his last two words, then returns his hug for a moment. She thinks this might be the first time she’s ever hugged a boy who didn’t want to kiss her. It was nice. After a few moments, she clears her throat and steps back from him. "Thank you, Kyle." She says genuinely.

"Mhm!" He says, then just smiles at her, happy to have made a new friend. It was one more person on his list of people to protect and be protected by, and in his mind, there was nothing better than that. "L-et's te-ll Zoe w-e're frien-ds now." Kyle says, gesturing at Madison to follow him.

"What the fuck did I just get myself into," Madison mumbles, before following Kyle to the living room.

#;asjdf;asfjadfs #so is this any good??#ahs #ahs coven #ahs fic #ahs gen fic #zoe benson #madison montgomery #kyle spencer #evan peters #himbo.writes #himbo.speaks #this tis my first fic here #fave #tw s*xual assault #tw swearing #fic recs

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starkerparkerpony · 4 years

Text

I Scold Because I Stan Pt.2

AU where Tony (44-45 y/o) meets an aged up (23-24 y/o) Peter after Civil War, Tony is broken up with Pepper and all kinds of sorry for himself. Peter is a ESU graduate and currently has an internship with Oscorp and is a photographer for the Daily Bugle he is also spiderman and therefore perpetually exhausted and has very little patience

Read part 1 here, part 3 here

Not much scolding in this one but very dialogue heavy... Please continue reblogging. Continuing on -

Tony believed there's certain feelings in life that you must absolutely not feel once over the age of 25... for example, no middle-aged man should have anxiety about calling a potential romantic interest. Especially if said 'potential romantic interest' shamelessly hit on Tony in the first place. The guy was definitely interested, he had made it clear to Tony that he was definitely interested. Tony could just call the guy... but would he.

A week earlier when Peter Parker woke from the nap he was taking in a booth at an Irish pub for some reason, Tony absolutely did not imagine that any conversation they might have would go the way their's did. It was a testament to Mr. Parker's extempore prowess. It was also mildly embarrassing and almost traumatizing to be scolded and praised all at once. But after Parker left, Tony found himself... smiling... and blushing, like a complete idiot, but smiling and blushing nonetheless.

When back at home Tony set Friday on the curious case of Peter Parker. Which led to spending an ungodly amount of time on the guy's Instagram. Which in turn led to Tony gleaning some useful information about him, Peter Parker wasn't exactly new to the world of the rich and famous, he appeared to be a close friend of Harry Osbourne, posing with him in not just generic selfies but also pictures taken at high profile society events.

It also appeared that Mr. Parker was no stranger to superheroes either, his work with the Daily Bugle was almost entirely photos of Spiderman... Tony didn't know Spidey personally but going by the coverage the newspaper gave him, it was hard to imagine that the masked hero would be a friend of Parker's but the guy somehow always managed to get the best picture of Spidey, which indicated a willingness to follow trouble on Parker's part.

And then there was the entire thing about how gorgeous and intelligent and utterly disarming the boy was...

The 3 patents he had told Tony about were no joke- a medical grade adhesive, an industrial grade adhesive and a potential replacement for spandex. Not to mention his eyes...

Tony kept telling himself that he was too old to have a crush... but he knew it was too late. He thought back to the way he felt when Peter smiled at him, bruised and all... The damage was done.

The first time Tony called Peter, he didn't pick up and it went to voicemail. Tony didn't leave a message. It was just 9PM, there was no way he was already asleep. Right? For a second he dreaded the possibility of Parker being one of those millennials who don't take phonecalls, then for another hour he wondered if this was a sign from the universe about an endeavor that should be abandoned. So of course Tony called again.

"I don't do booty calls past 10 I have a job now" was how Parker answered the phone. Jesus Christ.

"Good to know, I was thinking about lunch tomorrow actually." Tony said without missing a beat

"Jesus Christ!" Parker exclaimed, obviously thrown.

"Close. Tony Stark" He chuckled

"No I know... Crap, I'm sorry, my friend Harry is the only one I know who calls with a private number. I thought it was him." He explained

"Am I Sorry to disappoint?" Tony asked trying not to sound anxious.

"Absolutely not. I actually definitely would do a booty call after 10 for you." Tony could hear the smile in his voice.

"But not after 11 though?" Tony joked trying not to blush.

"No that honor is reserved for Bruce Banner and Bruce Banner only."

"You have good taste in men" Bruce was Tony's friend, he had to admit he was warmed by the fact that Peter wasn't one of the assholes who held 'big green' against him.

"Ha Ha thanks... he represents us bio-chem nerds well, one of my projects is actually inspired by him and also he is very cute in press conferences."

"The spandex replacement?" Tony guessed

"Oh no... you googled me. Ew."

"Hey that's rich coming from the guy that sticks my photos on his wall." He defended himself

"No no... there's this god awful picture of me that comes up on image search from when my team won the scholastic decathlon, I look like a single prepubescent noodle in it." Parker grouched

"Good tip... also nice covert bragging with the decathlon thing Mr. Parker" Tony said as he pulled the picture up and sniggered.

"Thank you I'm so glad you caught that... so what was it you were saying about lunch?" Parker enquired.

"Right... Lunch? Tomorrow?" Tony hoped he didn't sound desperate.

"Sounds good to me. I mean it sounds like a bizarre dream I'm having but I don't wanna stroke your ego unnecessarily, you already called first... I love that I have the upper hand here"

"Congratulations on the upper hand smartass... do you wanna do 'Nobu'?" Tony suggested

"Oh my god... I'm gonna throw your P.A. and your PR team a bone and nix that idea... you beautiful disaster" Peter laughed

"Umm... what?"

"Nobu has papparazi outside of it 24/7, and I hate to break it to you buddy but your break up with Ms. Potts was kinda' public. I can't even begin to imagine what hell you, being photographed with a strapping twunk half your age would be on your team." He explained himself

"Okay calm down strapping twunk... How would anybody even know its a date?" Tony scoffed

"Umm Mr. Stark if I have the chance to grab your ass in public and have photos taken of the event then I absolutely will do it." said Peter, very sincerely.

"My God how can you call me Mr. Stark and talk about grabbing my ass in the same sentence?" Tony cursed his susceptibility to blushing whenever talking to this guy.

"Listen man, I'd call you Tony but this 'Mr. Stark' thing lowkey turns me on though." Peter said in a teasing voice.

Same, Tony admitted to himself.

"Kink noted. You do have a point though... I haven't had to deal with my personal PR or had a P.A. in a while." Said Tony, thoughtful.

"How can you not have a P.A.? Is that even legal?" Peter asked

"Well, I made my last one the CEO of my company, fell in love with her, started dating her and then very publicly got dumped by her... so I'm apprehensive about replacing her." Tony regretted this outburst as soon as he finished talking.

"I think about you when I touch myself." Peter informed

"What. The. Hell. Parker" Tony said, trying to sound affronted when he could barely contain his laughter

"Oh sorry buddy I thought we were playing the oversharing game." Peter sniggered. "You know what you should do? You should get an older Jewish lady to be your P.A. it's what Norman Osbourne did for his son when he kept hitting on his P.A.s.

"Because you know what, Mrs. Leibowitz would bring you Passover brisket and she would never dump you publicly." Peter was almost giggling now.

"Right, she would write me a considerate note." Tony laughed along with Peter.

"Exactly!" He chuckled

There was a lull in the conversation then, during which Tony made up his mind.

"Lunch at the tower tomorrow." Tony decided

"Fine by me. Wait. Do you have any dietary restrictions?"

"No. I sometimes go gluten free but not because of celiac just because I like to be an asshole. Why?"

"Cool, I'm bringing Pizza. You paid for drinks last time." stated Peter

"You do realize that I have chefs on my payroll?" Tony asked

"You do realize that I'm offering to bring you Joe's from Greenwich?" Peter countered

"Point taken." Tony conceded

"Good"

"See you"

"Not if I see you first"

"Oh my God"

"I know... I hate myself"

"I'm gonna' hang up now"

"Wait! What do I tell your security tomorrow?" Peter asked

"Tell them you've been summoned by the king" Tony said, only half joking.

"God you're such a douche but I'm so into you..." Peter replied

"I'm glad" Tony admitted

"Okay bye."

"Bye."

The next day Peter Parker texted to confirm the time and then showed up at Tony's place with pizza and a dozen red and yellow roses. And Tony didn't know what to do with himself.

Taglist- @spidey-nerd @areluctantsblog @briesb1tch @starkerhoefangirl @fleet-of-ships @darker-soft-starker @heybrotherpourthewine @buckybarnes-is-bae @starkerlovestony @nachtvuur @theginkosakata @plsstopgivingpetertrauma @highbloodprinz @supernaturalpadfoot @jealouspeachtea @strkrmdnss @thewolffearsher @starkravingspiders @whenfandomscollide @starkerrifics @starkersenses @merwinist @starkerdarling @this-starker-hoe @sad-princess28 @smidnite @inz-zer0 @mystarkershame @somethingihadtocarry @goodtimesstarker @frenchfrostpudding @lacechains @hermit-fangirl @ensdarktreasures @colorofpearls @narutoyaoifans @birdycurtainswrites @ravens-starker-stuff @lover-starker @littlemonstercupcake @antonystxrk @starkerkitty91x @tigger232 @mcusicals

#starker #starker fanfic #i scold because i stan #iron man x spider man #tony stark x peter parker #badass Peter Parker #Peter Parker #tony stark #starker au

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fuckblizzardbearlover · 6 years

Text

“Yes the Sylvanas storyline IS original and its one the Horde needs right now″

For starters “2.0″ always means “not the same, but similar and better” so GJ using the reference wrong

Ok for reasons i cant understand people keep calling whats happening Garrosh 2.0. when the only similarity is that the person who is a villain is the Horde Warchief.

That COMPLETELY ignores the canon personality and history of both characters. it COMPLETELY ignores FIVE expansions worth of story (so like 10 years) for Garrosh and ALL of Sylvanas’s story.

I’m sorry but any idiot can look at the best thing in the world and insult it with a single sentance. Obama the greatest president? “Oh that do nothing president?” Beyonce is a legend? “oh i think she’s overrated”, Chris Evans is hot? “oh another muscled blond twunk, how original?”

giving a quick one liner to insult the story and the writers doesnt give any validity to your statement. the only reason it continues is because its popular to be mean to developers. If you actually had to PROVE why its bad or similar you’d be fucked because they arent even remotely similar.

The Horde is a unified found family of people with greatly different values who help each other survive in a harsh world. The Tauren find Forsaken actions such as experimenting on living people, abhorrent, but they are allies and dont presume to judge the actions of people who were enslaved in death. The Trolls kept most of their rituals but gave up cannibalism in order to make the Orcs happy. Most of the blood elves are not used to such....natural enviroments but Silvermoon still sends its finest in defense of Horde lands.

The Horde is a group willing to put up with each others evils, willing to protect each other, and work together because they made an oath to do so. many of the horde disagreed with Thrall’s leadership, many disagreed with Garrosh’s, many disagreed with Vol’jins and Sylvanas’s . But the Warchief was their leader. 10s of thousands throughout the years had already died because their warchief asked them to. to protect each other and their own.

many people who’s sincerity i question say blizzard has forgotten what makes up the horde but YOU forget what makes up the horde. They’ve gone along with things they dont agree with because they Trust the mantle of warchief, the entire system is based on the idea that the leaders will work in their best interest and sometimes that means some of them have to do harsh things, or fight to the death because it protects the HORDE not the individual.

The problem is that that can work both ways. If you trust Thrall your warchief , that working with the humans who hate us is what we need to do to save the world then you do as he commands. Likewise if the warchief tells you that you need to fight to occupy Pandaria to get the resources so horde children can grow up with full bellies then you do as he commands. And if the Warchief tells you that from her expert opinion the Alliance will strike and you need to make the first move then you do as she commands.

you say “FOR THE HORDE” but dont realize that most of the Horde will give their weapons, lives, concience, and even their honor and morals to protect the Horde?

but back to the two warchiefs.

Garrosh was an outsider. For some Ass reason people blame Thrall, despite him kinda having to help save the world, asking Cairne and Vol’jin to advize Garrosh, and Garrosh being a good 10 years older than Thrall who was i believe 24 at the time World of Warcraft started. Anyways, THATS whats important Garrosh was an outsider. He was discovered in the burning crusade, and when Thrall told him that while Grom did sell out the horde he ultimately did what was right Garrosh deliberately ignored the lesson in favor of his binary way of thinking. To Garrosh you are an enemy or ally, you are a victor or a loser. He thought Grom doomed his people , he didnt give a damn about the countless draenei children whos bones made up the Path of Glory, he cared because Grom was an embarrassment . He didnt care that Grom helped save elf and human lives by killing Manaroth, he cared that he saved Orc lives and FREE’d his people from the underhandedness of Gul’dan.

People act like his character was assassinated and those people are Wrong. I was there for the prepatch event, the moment he looked at Ogrimmar he spat on how hard his fellow orcs works. He saw the lush lands far away and demanded why Thrall did not TAKE them. He didnt listen when thrall said that Durotar was their penance for the all the Genocide that orcs committed. Of course Garrosh doesnt care about nuance, You are good or bad, enemy or friend. To admit that the Horde did something wrong would to suggest that their victories, their legacy was honorless. And that would mean HIS legacy was honorless. And as a selfish bit of self defense he REFUSED to accept that. So he challenged the Warchief himself to a duel for rulership of the Horde (or at least Ogrimmar). which was interrupted by the Scourge (and also in which Thrall used magic btw).

Garrosh was an outsider but he spoke Alt Right propoganda. Most of the orcs did not know draenor, they grew up in the horde, some their lives sucked away by Guldan’s warlocks. Many knew only the glory days of the horde and then the suffering of the internment camps. others grew up in those interment camps NEVER knowing any glory only the piss and mudd of their human captors. Thrall didnt leave Durnholde till he was 13 (physically the size of an adult orcs, probably almost mentally mature). this meant that orcs were captive for that same time. Any orc that is currently less than 28 years old would have been BORN a slave and knowing only that.

So when Garrosh spoke to these orcs who where teenage to young adult age about how they should be glorious, about how the filthy humans didnt deserve their respect he had a crowd. Almost evey young orc HAD nothing to be ashamed of unlike Saurfang and Eitrigg they had never murdered innocent humans. but humans DID beat them, despite being smaller and weaker.

Skipping ahead, when he became warchief he spouted propoganda. He was not interested in The Horde as we know it He didnt want a family he wanted “THE HORDE” a glorious war machine to trample those who deserve trampling. Thats why he looked down on the Goblins elves and forsaken. While the rest of the horde didnt like their family, the strange cultures of other races, they accepted them. even if they did not personally accept them they knew that they could not let others know. But Garrosh didnt care about family, didnt care about the Horde. He was an outsider pushing his delusions of grandiur and glory of the old horde he never even experienced, onto THIS horde.

And everytime he tried to shove the horde races back into their places he hurt them. Many of the horde were sucked in, mostly the orcs though. All that “this is WHO we are”. And since the Horde as the Horde understood it was loyal and understanding they went along with it. Each race had warred with the alliance before. They might have personally disagreed but they were loyal to the horde and its chief, if he felt they deserved to take ashenvale the horde would do so.

But like i’ve said 20 times, the Horde was family, not a war machine. When something didnt ‘fit” like the forsaken’s plagues, or the cowardly goblins they were shoved to the side. They “had no place in MY HORDE”. Garrosh pushed and threatened, but he did help in the campaign against deathwing, he was just alot more...aggressive and mean than Thrall. But as his power solidified he saw more the potential of his horde, and what pieces didnt fit. Vol’jin the rightful warchief was in the Horde from day 1 and didnt accept any disrespect the Horde HE knew was family and he was right. Sylvanas knew this lover of Axe and Brainlessness would never accept the forsaken, but kept her cards close to the chest. And the elves went to the throne of thunder to get a weapon as a deterant for Garrrosh’s anger.

Garrosh, the outsider, trying to force the horde into what it wasnt, attacked and destroyed that family. He wanted to become head of house but he destroyed family and THAT the horde could not abide. For the Alliance their Morality is more important than their kin. this is why the blood elves and forsaken were shunned, why they accepted the Void elves and worgen, they had similar values. For the Horde their Kin was more important than their Morality. They would protect their friends even if their friends turned to darkness. Because they trust each other , they trust its necessary, they trust that to SURVIVE sometimes you have to look the other way as your comrade eats brains, or sucks magic out of a demon

And Garrosh betrayed that trust and he was ousted

The reason why the Horde needs this storyline is because thats Not whats happening here. The Horde could distance themselves from Garrosh, they could say “not my warchief” despite 34% of them voting for him. He was an outsider, brought into the horde , and betrayed it.

Not Sylvanas though. She’s not a founding member but she almost is. She’s been in the horde for Years, she’s has command over the greatest victims of evil, and spearheaded the fight against the Lich King. She is the one who created the cure for the Plague. if not for her and her apothecaries the 2nd scourge invasion would have been the end. She’s ALWAYS been evil. She’s a monster. A horrible disgusting shell of herself whos only emotion is hatred or nothingness. thats why we love her. She’s extremely dangerous, and since 2004 Warcraft has said “THe forsaken are up to something” they were the black sheep of the family. But they were, as she said, loyal to the Horde. the Horde Trusts her, trusted her, relied on her. Her apothecaries worked with the Shat’tar to create the cure to the plague . She spearheaded the campaign against Arthas. in every area of the world the forsaken willingly sent their scientists and mages and warlocks to study dark magic and plagues to help the horde fight demons and monsters. Her spies who do not require food or water or air have been invaluable. The horde for YEARS has looked the other way, knowing its hard to judge someone who had been enslaved and turned into a monster against their will. Yes they comitted attrocities, but whats it mater really if you kill the enemy with an arrow or with a disease. one is more horrific yes but dead is dead and that was their way.

Sylvanas has always been a part of the Horde, She IS part of the Horde, the horde wouldnt be the same without their undead brothers and sisters, without the sciences and magics of lordearon and the dead brought to bare against any enemy. She is FAMILY She IS the Horde.

She ISNT an outsider. She represents everything the horde is, or rather everything the HOrde chooses to ignore about itself. The Horde is full of noble, honored, skilled, regal and peaceful people. but among those were orc nationalists, monsterous forsaken who commit evil, trolls who perform dark magic, cannibalism. . The Horde has ALWAYS looked the other way from its own dark side in order to put Kin before their morals for the sake of the Horde.

And now the epitome of the Hordes compliance has done something none of them can condone. The Horde has always turned the other cheek when one of its members has commited attrocities. even Garrosh wasnt ousted until he attacked its own members

The Horde could never say they were the good guys, because they did almost nothing as their family commited evil.

Sylvanas is family, the forsaken is family. Its easy to kick an associate out, For an outsider to come into your group and say “this is how we should do things” and when you realize they are going to far to kick them out, to band together against them.

But what if that person whos gone to far, who does horrible things, who puts you at risk and risks your family, IS family.

This is the Hordes reckoning. this is the moment they will have to decide, is Family worth losing your souls over? I think the answer they will choose is ‘no”

#sylvanas windrunner #world of warcraft #world of warcraft spoilers #garrosh hellscream #thrall #battle for azeroth

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