Montaña Bazofia spoilers

Tulio Triviño is one of the most popular 31 minutos characters. Which, of course he is, he's the main main character. He gets talked about a lot but what I don't see as much is people discussing his upbringing and Why He's Like That when his family is so different. We learn more about his family in the comic, Montaña Bazofia. Particularly his father, who is a bit infamous with people who are aware of him. I'll get to him soon enough. From the show, we know his mom is very supportive of him. She praised him very much. He is a mothers boy. We know she was one of the first watchers of the show. He seems to have a decent relationship with him. Although constant appraisal of her child could've influenced his ego, although there are many factors to a dysfunctional ego. One of which is having a dysfunctional upbringing. Which brings me to the topic of his dad. Tulios dad is terrifying, straight up. He is emotionally stunted and seems to have some anger issues. When Tulio went to visit him, to some extent, his anger towards Tulio was fair. Tulio abandoned his family and father to go get rich and have a news show. It was shown that ever since Tulio left, he has spent most of his time in his despacho. (Idk how to say it in English sorry) The way he showed his anger, was however honestly kinda cruel. When Tulio walked up to him (with great hesitation) he said that he hopes he leaves soon and never calls him his father again. He even told him he's dead to him and has disinheritited him. He didn't believe Tulio came back with wholesome intentions (Although he was right about that) he literally said "tell me why you're here or I'll kill you". After that Tulio soon asks him why he never accepted him. Tulio then tries to remember good times he's had with his father, only to come up with nothing. Which either implies he legimately did not have any good moments with him, or that he just doesn't remember. And neither are great options. Tulio isn't a great person. He's done shitty things to everyone, including his dad. But his dad has been doing shitty things to him for a long time. At the end of the comic, he reveals that he's watched all his shows and interviews. And has actually supported his career. He has a heartfelt moment (heartfelt in heavy quotation marks) where he reveals that during Tulios childhood, whenever he made fun of him, ignored him, critiqued him, and even pulled his chair often when he was about to sit, he did it because he loved Tulio the most. He even admits that it probably wasn't the best way to show it. And the thing is, Tulio was the only child he did this to apparently. (Jesus christ no wonder Tulios fucked) This treatment would just ruin a child's self esteem, no matter what. He had no reason to do any of those things. It didn't make Tulio stronger or anything, it just gave him issues. Combine a father that was mean and critical vs a mom that was super nice, I only wonder if that was what caused his ego dysfunctionality. In a flashback to kid Tulio in the movie, he was showing signs of a high ego. It happens in real life and yeah I'm aware I'm looking too deep into this, but the implications are hard to ignore. Tulios' father did love him, he was just not great at showing it by any means. He was hurt by Tulio's not so great actions but he's also done many not good things to Tulio. His dad does want to be there for him. I think he just needs to find way better ways of it. Tulio could've had a naturally high ego of course, but I think his childhood affected it even more. The back and forth between the two parenting methods seems overwhelming idk. This genuinely is fascinating to me and I wish there was more discussion on Tulio's father. Neither of them are the best people, but both in different ways. I think they'll have a rocky relationship for a long while more.

You asked me my fave ASOIAF ships so it’s only right that I ask u what yours are 🫶🫶

oh honey you got a big storm comin 😈 

SLAY TIER GOD TIER S TIER GOAT TIER

JAIME/BRIENNE: god it's just so. like its truly insane. they are beauty and the beast but there's LAYERS like ok first look. oh she's a girl and he's a boy so she's beauty and he's the beast. but jaime is so sexyhot and brienne is ugly so he's the beauty and she's the beast. oh but she's brienne the beauty and he's a lannister lion. oh but she's the only kind and good and pure soul in the world and her eyes are so, so beautiful and jaime is so horrible and destroyed inside and out and he's so cruel but he doesn't want to be but he does. AND he dreams of fighting alongside her nude like ok RRRING RRING um hi freud i gotta crazy guy for you to psychoanalyse yeah he's got daddy AND mommy AND sibling issues and he’s a little gay with it.

THEON/ROBB: look ok. coming out as a robb neutral. THATS KIND OF A LIE look i love robb he's just a boy he's forced into the meat grinder he's hamlet he's doomed i love that that's so fun. but i'm not one of those people who's like WE NEED A ROBB POV or like mad he died. i'm a theongirl first and foremost and the way i love throbb is through the lens of theon my traumatised horrible catboy.

RHAENYRA/ALICENT: god what can be said that hasn’t. vicious lesbian divorce. psychosexual incestuous passive aggressive actually aggressive love hate inner child growing old always on their mind everything is about the other constrained by patriarchy doing patriarchy but in a way that benefits you. and she’s her stepmother.

FUN TIER

JONSATIN: yeah yeah its a bit of a yaoi ship i know i know. mostly i like it cos it gives satin something to do LMAO i really like him so i have to give him personality and wants and a backstory and jon is a great puppet for that. on jon’s side honestly satin is like the nicest choice for him everyone else has so much baggage...

LORENLY: its like canon i like it. i like the doom and tragedy i like how renly is a fun guy and loras is such a cunt.

DAENSA: i think they would be a nice couple :) i think they would be good for each other. nice fluffy ship, very sweet. lemontreecakes forever!!

SANSAERY: its like what if regina george and cady heron were lesbians. i love manipulative bitch margaery whos like shit she’s genuinely nice and pure and cute goddamnit. and sansa who has to slowly realise she’s being used but that even though their relationship is kinda fucked up it IS complex. also really funny that she was comphet for marge’s gay brother.

GENDRYA: she’s 9 so im like meh on it but its very sweet. the living-vicariously-through-your-children marriage robert wanted with sansa and joffrey. well actually its the genderfreak lyanna clone and anarchist robert clone. 

STAVOS and MELYSE: idk melisandre and selyse’s ship name. i could be serious about it but it’s just funny to me. you can still fuck even when youre at the rotting decrepit old age of 34 and you once cut off your domestic partner’s fingers

HONOURARY MENTIONS

JonValJon: i dont like ValJon because it so often negates val’s character and her wants and desires also jon is 15 and val is like clearly an adult woman but the name is really funny i like les mis eh heh heh

Theonsa: i like show theonsa i think its sweet. book theonsa i dont like because shes a lesbian.

Brienne/Sansa and Brienne/Margaery: show only. its cute and brienne x margaery is kinda hot ngl. also Brienne/Cersei that’s also hot. sorry im gay.

gar our friend gar :) (the beast boy not. the cat. or do the cat im not yr dad)

GOD okay this got insanely long because im unwell sorry. me when im mentally ill about the cat obviously

okay good GOD i would violently circle wasted potential 50 fucking times if i could. society if dc let gar age past 18-20. society if titans la actually happened and gar had his own team of titans to lead. society if gar was actually able to grow out of the titans and be a hero outside of it as well. SOCIETY IF HE WAS STILL FRIENDS WITH VIC. i miss them </3 and thats not even touching on his powers. i personally like that gar's powers dont have clear limitations (like how he can turn into alien animals that he shouldnt even be able to tap into or how he can turn into creatures that don't even exist if his emotions get the better of him) but it always seemed to me more of writers not knowing what to do with him rather than actually playing with the idea…i think to some extent, untapped potential that could be seen as wasted potential is kind of the point with gar since he's initially introduced as afraid to take responsibility, but well. it has been literal decades at this point, and i think most of its ended up being mistranslated from the original intention with gar to Actually being wasted potential with him. come on man

alsooo oh my god gar is like the EPITOME of everyone but me is wrong about them to me. its genuinely so jarring to me what fanon gar is like HDKJFKHJKG like he's not a silly sunshine boy or whatever (which if i am being honest comes most of the time from bbr//ae shippers who warp both of them entirely to fit their personal ship dynamic preference but i digress). the canon bb that i know is honestly pretty snarky with his humor and CAN 100% be a jerk when he's feeling like it. and he knows when he's being one. he also knows when he's being annoying he does it on purpose. ALSO probably the biggest thing i dislike about fanon gar is when people act like his only trauma was with tara when the guy literally has the most insanely traumatic backstory ever. like obviously there's the inferiority complex but what about his MASSIVE survivor's guilt (like, part of the tara angst is a subset of his survivor's guilt but no one ever seems to acknowledge that either) and his status as a metahuman. he's literally green. what about his history as an actor and how that bleeds into how he can act like a different person depending on the people he's around. and i know a lot of people get annoyed about his daddy issues with steve but i am personally intrigued. he's such a deeply fucked up guy that i will never understand how people think he only has One Deep Thing to explore about him. i think a lot of people blame the teen titans cartoon for what fanon gar is now and while obviously that version of gar isnt as Deep without full context i feel like its still pretty easy to pick up the pieces. if anything its the fans who create fanon based on a kids cartoon they havent seen in Years from what they very vaguely remember and shoving it into their own desired tropes who are to blame LOL especially when dc just ends up encouraging it too

however i DO think he works best on a team, he's very much a team sort of guy and thrives off of interacting with others. something i find so interesting about gar is that technically he's capable of doing solo work but very much prefers a team setting. and besides a big part of how his character works is by having people to bounce his little quips off of. and his serious moments aren't nearly as rewarding if theres no one there to witness them i think. and not to bring up vic again but he worked so well with vic 😔 from what i know gar literally does not have any sort of fun dynamic these days which sucks when he is very much a dynamic guy. anyways as you can tell i like him maybe i guess. just a little bit. this got embarrassingly long (probably because i do want to talk about titans stuff in general on here and then i just get shy </3). he's my bestie who kind of sucks and i love him. thank you and good fucking night!!!!!!

One thing i feel people ignore is how similar Reese and Connor really are.

I mean rich parents- Sarah’s mother is a well off lawyer, she sent Sarah a thousand dollars for missing not being able to visit thats like, very rich. And Connor is well known for being a rich man. His Father owns one of the most famous department stores and Connor quite literally bought an expensive car without second thought. It drove me insane when I watched that seen. He literally didn’t even check the price.

On the same note- parental problems. (Nice way for me to say Mommy and Daddy issues (and also consonance my english teacher will be proud))

Connor has had some serious trust issues with his dad, which leads to him literally leaving the US to escape it. At least Connors aware of it. His Mother also left him with serious issues. She had a lot of mental health issues that left him with a savior attitude when dealing with Robyn(Robin?) and it’s clear to see that it fucked him up when Wheeler jumped- mirroring her death- and Ava eventually killed herself. It fucked him up so bad he actually left.

Reese is a bit more complicated. Well aside from the obvious gaslighting from her biological father and the abandonment issues and struggle to realize that he truly never loved her and would never be able to- her Mother was clearly an absent parent who pushed her to do a job Sarah didn’t want to do.

And even after that. Dr Charles. Her last arc with Dr Charles genuinely broke my heart because I really loved their relationship right from the start. Yes the Paranoia and incident wirh the pepper spray was due to his negligence but he at least tried to make it up. He really cared for her and she cared for him too. And then came the gaslighting. Dr Charles really fucked Sarah up. So bad that she left. She said it herself- the rumors she could handle, it was just Dr Charles she couldn’t bear to see. Realistically they could probably work on repairing their relationship but even then it would never be the same, not to mention the amount of time it would take to even get there.

They both came from similar backgrounds. Wealthy family, albeit a missing parent and severe issues from the other one. Both escaping and finding their future in medicine and ending up in Gaffney chicago med, and end up leaving because their past catches up to them. For both of them their last episode was due to their past.

Connor had finally begun to repair his relationship with his father and Ava kills him for her own good, and kills herself. Connor couldn’t save his Mom, Robyn(??), his Dad and also Ava. So he left.

Sarah became aware that her father wouldn’t feel anything for her, but for her own good she decided to try and repair her feelings for him and then she sees the man she admired the most, the guy who she trusted the most on top of him, ready to let her father die. It crushed her, her abandonment and trust issues became more evident; and she left.

These guys had so much in common and it’s really a shame the writers didn’t explore it more.

a mutual said they might watch buffy and thats making me insane so here are reasons to watch buffy:

-very fun campy vampire show but it has AMAZING writing and the contrast between its fun episodes and its serious ones is chefs KISS

-i am gay for every woman on the show, faith and miss calendar especially

-buffy does nOt suffer from annoying main character syndrome she is the heart and soul of the show and u will fall in love with her

-buffy x giles father daughter relationship has fixed all my daddy issues

-i relate too much to oz

-actually rlly good lesbian rep esp considering its from the 90s!!!!! its on par with rep from today which is either rlly good for buffy or really bad for todays shows but yeh lesbian main couple who cant kiss for a season but once they can they dooo boyyyyy, one of them is from the main trio of friends and theyre both WITCHES!!! LESBIAN WITCHES!!!!

-very funny

-og bella and edward seriously i think stephanie meyer copied angel and buffy like note for note except they have a way healthier relationship

-ethan rayne the evil bisexual icon

-spike and dru!! goth + punk bisexual solidarity!! spike is so gnc i love him and he has the evil villain who becomes annoying neighbour arc

-buffy is not afraid to get WEIRD on u and i think thats great <3 (specifically talking about the cheese man :) )

-idk if its a controversial opinion, it depends on ur fave characters, but i think it has a great ending that wraps it up so well whilst still like not being an ending? like its the end of the show but its just another day of defeating the big bad for them and i rlly like that, they have an apocalypse every season so it rlly is just like we did it! whats next and i love that 🥺 we dont need cheesy flashforwards where they all have kids

-anyway pls watch it its amazing and if u cant be bothered with pirating its on amazon prime

[HM] Willy Wonka’s Alternate Ending.

“Okay,” says the purple-suit clad man behind the desk. “Now we’re left with the difficult decision to elect one of you as the new owner of the Chocolate Factory.” “Alright Willy, you’re a numbers guy I know that, you and I are numbers guys right? Tell you what- I’ll buy the factory from you as is right now for one-million dollars” (in 1971 this is about $6.4 million) says Rupert reacting to the glaring eyes of his precious little Varuca. “How dare you wave your money in front of all of these children’s faces Rupert?” Grandpa Joe lashed out sternly “Can we hurry this up?” A very impatient Violet Bouregard would say “I’m already on my last piece of gum and this one is already tasteless.” “I’m sorry I haven’t spent the last 20 years dawdling in the comfort of a piss soaked mattress with three other people- if you cant afford it then buzz off!” Rupert reacted snidely, Grandpa Joe lurched foreword as if you take a swing- Frail and easy spoken Charlie gets in front of his grandpa and pushes him gently aside to diffuse the quarrel. “Mutter, wann werden wir essen?” Said Augustus Gloop, oddly-enough the only non English speaking person in the entire world who received a golden ticket from chocolate bars distributed randomly throughout the world, to his mother who quickly hushes him. “This is so lame, I’m missing BattleStar Galactica” said Mike Teevee “Isn’t this more interesting than TV?” Said Mrs. Teavee, rifled in anxiety

“Will you all just be quiet for a moment, while I figure this mess out?!?” Snapped Willy Wonka, suddenly taking on a more serious tone “In case you haven’t realized this wasn’t supposed to happen.” “Vhat Do you mean?” Pried Mrs. Gloop. “I had a test, you all passed.” “A test?” Said Grandpa Joe “Yes! I was supposed to tempt all of you with delicious candies that would prove to me who was in it for the win or who was in it for themselves.” “No offense Mr. Wonka” said Charlie “but that’s a rather awful test. I mean you made it explicitly clear we weren’t supposed to eat any of the candies. If only five children out of 3.7 billion people (the population size in 1971) were the only winners, I can only imagine that they would be on their best behavior to win such an opportunity.” “Yeah!” Said Varuca. “And what if everyone failed your test? Would you just remain here miserable as you say you are?” Willy Wonka grinned. “I mean in that case I’d probably just issue out five more golden tickets. You have no idea how high our shares went when the whole world was buying billions of dollars worth of chocolate bars...” “You’re insane! You’re... a genius!” Said Sam Beauregard enamored at the marketing opportunity. “But... what was supposed to happen if someone failed these tests.” Said Mrs. Teevee Willy Wonka pinches his eyebrows “Is that really important?” “Well I want to know what my child was signing up to?” “Okay, the first room, the chocolate river had numerous traps- the sticky lollipops that would catch your tongue, the chocolate river you could fall into, the pudding quick sand... all things to trap the first set of suckers who were not worthy of the factory. I’ll admit, when none of you fell victim I found myself wondering how the rest of this was going to work... Then there was the Everlasting Gobstopper that would’ve turned one of you into a big ass blueberry. Then there was the chocolate egg room that would lead to the trash chute. There was the horrible shrinking machine that would give one of you the shrinks, and oh dear- the heftily carbonated beverage that would chop you up into the fan above.” “Ch... chop us up?” Said Grandpa Joe. “Yeah, and Charlie really saved your ass telling you no back there. You old fuck. Maybe next time don’t give a child rebellious direction.” “THATS NOT THE POINT WONKA!” Screamed Sam Beauregard “YOU ADMITTED TO THE POTENTIAL OF ONE OF OUR CHILDREN BEING CHOPPED UP IN A FAN... IN FACT YOU WERE COUNTING ON IT.” Willy Wonka gave a snide grin and Shrugged “This is boring. Wonka, will you just take my daddy’s money and get on with giving me the factory? It’s not like you have anything else going for you.” Said Varuca angrily “How about, it’s a good thing your dad works in the business of Goobers because you’re fuckin’ NUTS if you think I’m going to give you a sure-in for this factory you little brat.” Rupert Salt lashes out angrily and grabs Wonka’s Petty coat only to be pulled from behind and restrained by 4 non-union employees of Wonka. “Let go of me at once!” Shouted Rupert struggling to break free of the Oompa Loompa hold “Oompa Loompa Dopple dee dock, in you resist I’ll punch you in the cock” one of them sang. “What do you get when you try to attack,” Willy Wonka chimed in “You get a kick in your tiny nut.. sack” rhymed the Oompa Loompas. The other members watched on in shock as Wonka just stood with a peculiar smile. “Look, guys, I really want to get outta here okay? So let’s make this a little bit easier. I’ll let you decide. Look deep within yourselves. Running a factory is hard work, you have to keep a schedule, pay your workers, pay your taxes, file your taxes properly as to not get audited by the IRS, Deal with customer complaints... at least hire a staff to do such affairs, marketing, dealing with investors and share holders etc. It’s not ‘fun’ because you get to work in a zany candy factory full of a bunch of tiny orange freaks, I get 7 OSHA complaints per month. Do you understand how high my Workman’s Comp. insurance is? Anyway. Whoever takes over has to run a really tight ship. Is there anyone who is willing to back out now?” Everyone stops and looks at each other, and thinks for a moment. “You know what? Yeah. I’m out.” Said Mike Teevee “Mike! What are you saying?!?” Said his mom. “This place sucks. There’s no tv. And for how hard Mr Wonka must work and worry, I don’t think I’d have anytime to watch anything. It’d be pretty damned miserable here. Plus, Jesus Christ everyone else’s name fits perfectly with ownership of a chocolate factory. ‘Charlie’s Chocolates’ rolls off the tongue, ‘Violet Beauregarde chocolate’ sounds very French and elegant. ‘Veruca Salt Chocolate’ makes sense because salt and chocolate go very well together, and ‘gloop chocolate’ sounds so delicious. Who the hell wants ‘teevee chocolate’? It wasn’t meant to be, Ma.” “But we’ve come so far Mikey! Don’t just abandon ship now.” “It’s too late mom, I’ve already decided. Good luck guys,” he said. And then he walked out of the room, followed by his frantic mother who began to cry as he walked off. “You’ve been quiet Augustus.” Said Wonka “How about you?” “Vhy vouldnt I vant diesces faktory? Alle dis choklat mmmm. I think I just eet und hav good time” “Are you shitting me kid? Have you ever seen ScarFace? ‘Don’t get high on your own supply’? Well don’t get fat on your own chocolate!” “Vhat do you mean?” “You can’t just eat all of the chocolate, every time your fingers and face are brown and sticky from the delicious brown residue of the refined cocoa bean, you’re losing tons of money in distribution.” “... oh.” Said Augustus, looming down at his shoes. He then pulls a Wonka bar from his pocket, and eats one delicious little square of milk chocolate goodness. He closes his eyes and slips into a mode of splendor. Swishing the chocolate around his mouth on his teeth, and tongue salivating his taste buds. “Er... I think I’m no” said Augustus “Du willst die Fabrik nicht, Augustus?” Said Mrs. Gloop to her son. “Mumie. Ich bin eine geile verdammte Schokoladenschlampe. Es macht meinen Schwanz wirklich hart. Aber wenn ich jeden Tag von Schokolade umgeben wäre, würde ich es leid werden. Die Neuheit, die der köstliche Geschmack von Schokolade ist, würde verblassen. Also, obwohl ich das Gefühl habe, ich werfe vielleicht meine einzige wahre Chance auf Glück weg ... Ich kann die Schokoladenfabrik nicht ehrlich besitzen. Ich denke, ich würde lieber das Leben eines Simp leben.” Mrs. Gloop looked to her son, inspired by his new-found restraint. As he, like Mike Teevee, in the second of honesty they allowed themselves, matured well past their age. They bid Wonka “Adieu” and walked out of the office.

“Okay, so if we’re clear- you three are what I have left?” Said Wonka “Oh please, it’s not like the others were great choices either.” Blurred out Violet. “Didn’t you learn something from them?!?” Said Wonka. “They looked within themselves and realized this isn’t the life they wanted! I’m sorry you can’t see past yourself!” Snapped Wonka “I mean Jesus Christ, why are you three here anyway?” “I... have nothing else... sir. If I don’t get this... my mother is still going to have to support my family. At least with the factory I can provide for my family.” Wonka grumbled, then clapped. “This is very noble of someone to hang in there.” “Yeah well I... uh... I think it’ll be really fun, and I don’t mind the work load. And I’m gonna revolutionize the gum industry” said Violet enthusiastically. “And Veruca?” “I am not leaving here until I own this factory.” Grandpa Joe shot Veruca a dirty look, then whispered to Charlie “I’m so glad your mother didn’t raise you to be a little shit like her,” “Grandpa. You laid in a bed for 20 years while my mother sold her soul to the man. You ‘magically got the ability to walk’ at the opportunity to tour a chocolate factory. The motivation to get a job to help your daughter provide for us should outweigh the motivation for this. So please Grandpa Joe, Please. Don’t lecture anyone on being ‘little shits’ because you’re the biggest shit here.” With that Grandpa Joe slumped back in melancholy.

“I’ve got an idea. We’re going to select the new owner of the Chocolate Factory by drawing straws!” A collective “What?” From all parties in the room. “Wonka, that’s rediculous. We’ve already proved that you can’t choose anyone based on your test, why not you just accept my money offer and give it to Veruca!” Said Rupert “Because I have a 2/3 chance of giving it to someone who doesn’t want the factory just to want it. One seeks adventure, the other seeks the True American Dream. You’ll sink this damn company into the ground with your sniveling and lack of heart. I’d tell you to get bent if it wasn’t written in the contract that all parties would receive a fair opportunity.” “I’m getting really impatient DADDY.” Said Veruca. “But honey, this is one problem I have run into I can’t solve for you. He’s not taking any money!” Said Rupert. “I don’t know daddy, offer him more. I want this chocolate factory and I want it now.” “My point exactly” chimed Wonka. “But Wonka,” said Grandpa Joe, “you can’t be serious, leaving the factory up to drawing lots? Why not just assess who has the best character and ability to run a company?” “Zues. Poseidon. Hades.” “What?!?” “Zues. Poseidon. Hades.” “I don’t follow.” “If you’re knowledgeable on your Greek Mythology you’ll know that Zues, Poseidon and Hades drew lots to determine who would rule over what. Am I to believe Zues was ‘supposed’ to rule over land and sky? It was by chance! What if Hades had drawn for the win? They all just ‘fit’ into their roles.” “That’s still preposterous. Zues, Poseidon and Hades are only Myths!” Protested Grandpa Joe. “Well news flash, if I went by ‘business sense’ I’d have to give it to Goddamn Veruca Salt. With her coming from wealth, and with her... albeit bratty ‘go getter’ personality, she’d be perfect for the chocolate factory; with a little restraint of course... I don’t think she ‘has’ it. But if a board was choosing between you three, theyd pick Veruca. But she’s been nothing but a goddamn asshole all day and frankly? I think her father is a quack. I don’t like them. So you’re drawing lots and you’re just going to have to deal with it okay?”

Wonka holds out three straws. Veruca picks first, naturally. Violet and Charlie lock eyes when they go to grab. Charlie awkwardly allows Violet to go first. She picks a straw. Charlie picks the last one. They then compare each others straws... Violets was the largest one. “Yes! Yes! I’ve won! I’ve won!” Violet shouts with her jumping up and down with her father. Veruca looks very sternly at her father who tries to interrupt the Beauregardes from their celebration with an offer. Charlie sheds a tear and looks down, Grandpa Joe chimes in “I guess we’ll just give this gobstopper to slugworth! It’s very clear that Wonka is just a fraud!” Slugworth walks in. “Sorry baby, the game was rigged from the beginning.” Everyone looks over at him. “Hey everyone, I came to congratulate Violet on her new Position at head of this fine factory,” “What... what’s going on?” Said Grandpa Joe. “He was my ace-in-the-hole” said Wonka. “WHAT?!?” Exclaimed a confused Grandpa Joe. “Slugworth is a colleague of mine. I asked him to approach all of you and offer insane riches to expose the recipe of the Gobstopper.” “Why... why would you...” “Because there’s one thing in this world I hate more than snot-nosed brats who don’t deserve the pile of shit they stand upon. It’s fuckin losers.” Said Wonka coldly to Grandpa Joe. “Enjoy your flat, I hope Charlie learns never to emulate your behavior.” Charlie bursts into tears. “I’m selling the factory to miss Veruca.” Announced Violet. “WHAT?!?” Shouted everyone. “Yeah; her dad offered me Five million dollars which will be worth around thirty two million dollars in the year two thousand and Twenty! Fuck this factory I’m rich!” Violet said and skipped away. “You... URGH GOD, I HATE YOU.” Shouted Wonka. “Should’ve taken the money, Wonka. I now own all the pensions and retirement plans, and you gave this factory away for free. Guess you’ll be sleeping in a bed for 20 years with your relatives too. Get the hell out of my factory you ghoul.” Wonka grabbed his plant and walked out of the office. Charlie and Grandpa Joe began to follow but were interrupted by Veruca “Wait.” Said Veruca “Why don’t you come work for me, Charlie. I know it’s not glamorous but at least you and your mom will get a steady paycheck to provide for your family... I need someone ‘normal’ to be within my employ anyway.” Charlie wipes a bit of snot away. “What will I be doing?” Veruca gave an amused smile. “Whatever you want, Charlie.”

Charlie became HR for the Oompa Loompas. He eventually would get them to unionize. Little did he know it, but Charlie’s role as Union Rep was a lot more meaningful to the Oompa Loompas than ownership. Veruca would eventually abandon the chocolate factory to Charlie after a new opportunity presented itself, in the form of becoming the proprietary investor in a small scale tech firm that began in the early 1980s. Augustus Gloop would take his experience from the chocolate factory and become an Olympic athlete in the swimming competition. He’d go on to win silver. Mike Teevee graduated tv in favor of small scale mid-1990s conspiracy theory videos. He would then go on to lead his own alt right conspiracy theory television show and immediately fall from Grace after many subsequent affairs. Violet Beauregarde met back up with Charlie 10 years later after creating a gum that would TRULY last forever. Charlie would buy the company and Violet would work in the gum division of the Charlie chocolate factory. Grandpa Joe retired to his bed which Charlie left him because fuck Grandpa Joe.

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