TRY AGAIN LATER
it's like. well. its several things.
(Plutarch's Crassus, trans. Warner)
and also this
(ibid.)
that compliment sounds like an insult, baby.
anyway, there's a fun kind of eroticism in being given everything, in taking things that aren't yours without any real consequence, in climbing towards becoming a Roman Alexander, only for one man to deny you, over and over and over again, at every turn. Sulla tried, Crassus did it better. who would put a butcher in their place? who else knows you well enough to do it? who else can match you step for step like this? doesn't it feel like a kind of intimacy, a kind of—
it's also about the 'even sulla kissed my sword/so you want me on my knees too?' innuendo was too good to pass up. that was actually the first line I wrote, I figured out the rest of this to justify making a comic with it
and finally! the sword line is referencing/playing off of Lucan's Pharsalia a little bit because it fucks hard
(Lucan's Pharsalia, trans. Jane Wilson Joyce)
EDIT: oh, and that's a public domain anatomical illustration of a heart. you know how it is with love and hate.
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Anything planned for Whitetail? She’s bland in canon but I do love her
BB!Whitetail is so... I want to study her.
To begin with, she was an apprentice during the WindClan Massacre.
(Her mentor was not Onewhisker btw, he was too young)
She had two siblings, Graypaw and Blackpaw.
Graypaw was killed that night. Their mother, Sorrelcharm, probably also died.
Suddenly being thrust from her home and losing half of her family messed with her. Obviously. Who wouldn't feel this way
She has a perpetual sense of waiting for the "other shoe to drop." Like no home is truly safe, and it's a matter of time before the next big move.
Unfortunately... she's not totally wrong. Blackfur was either killed by TigerClan or a mine collapse. They were forced onto the Great Journey. Mudclaw's Civil War resulted in a raging inferno across the moor. Whitetail gets commended for how reliable and even-headed she is in the face of disaster, but it's because her mind is expecting the worst case scenario ALL the time.
Her personality is intense and orderly, only kept back by the fact she's a hopeless romantic.
PROFOUND sense of whimsy. She gives off a chilling air of seriousness, which stops people from discovering that she can be a real mush.
(Girlie galloping through the moor who whips off-course, as if she caught a glimpse of prey in her eye, only to have taken a short detour to crash through a puffy dandelion.)
When they all got to the lake, she had a brief fling with Onestar. She liked a lot about him-- his new status, yes, but also that when they were together they were just having fun. It was easy.
But... he didn't want it to continue romantically. He turned cold one day when the subject of kits came up.
They broke the unofficial relationship off unofficially, but a short while later he spoke to her again to arrange an honor siring.
He wanted to raise his kittens alone. Whitetail was willing to help him do that, as long as it could be known that she sired them. And that if the kittens wanted to know her-- they could do so.
But still, she didn't understand why he'd turned so suddenly. Not until much, much later.
But before then, she ended up developing an unlikely bond with Brushblaze.
Probably because they'd both been turned down by Onestar, funny enough. They were talking smack one day about failed relationships and it kinda clicked.
Whitetail: "Like idk, was it something I said? Am I the problem"
Brushblaze: "no, you're fine. He's the problem."
Voted WindClan's Most Intimidating Couple, between Whitetail's aura and Brushblaze's resting bitchface
They have two kittens together; Smokehaze and Galerunner. Around the time of their birth, Heathertail decided she wanted to take Whitetail up on the offer that had existed since she was born.
Brushblaze was a personal friend of hers for a long time, she wanted to know Whitetail, and she would like to experience what it's like to be a sister.
Sadly, Brushblaze didn't live to see his kittens become warriors, but Whitetail did.
Whitetail's BIGGEST personal failure interpersonally was, sadly, Breezepaw.
They were an awful match. Every wreckless action he took would badly set off her anxiety, which expressed as her snapping at him.
No matter how hard she tried to have patience with him, or how many times she scolded him to be more careful, it never ever worked.
On his end, the more visibly upset Whitetail became with him, the worse it made his fear of rejection. He was driven to do more and more dangerous acts to prove himself, which only served to make his mentor worse.
But ultimately, Whitetail was the mentor in this situation. She really tried, but she failed him as a teacher. They don't have the close bond that most apprentice/mentor relationships do, and Breezepelt only got lonelier.
For a while, Breeze felt like Brushblaze was "against him" for falling for his terrible mentor. It made it easy to reject his friend's advice when he said stuff like, "don't join the strange cult in the woods" and "this darktail bloke's a bit funny"
I think Whitetail has come a long way and is a much wiser person now than she was while she was Breezepelt's mentor... but.
She's cordial and accepting of Breezepelt now because it's what Brushblaze would have wanted. She doesn't trust him.
In fact she feels right about this. In her mind;
"Breezepelt needs to feel like part of the Clan, it's what Brushblaze would have wanted. Everyone deserves to feel safe, and more than that, this is the best way to neutralize him. When he's making soup and raising kittens, he's not hurting anyone... but he's had more chances than anyone here. Yeah I was harsh on him when he was a child, but he's made plenty of bad choices as an adult. I'm not being cruel or holding a grudge to keep him at a distance from Galepaw and Smokepaw... I'm being realistic. Brushblaze died to rescue him. I'm not going to lose more family to be nice."
This hurts Breezepelt... but it's fair. He tries not to think about it too much. He's learned the hard way that the people who will never like you anyway matter MUCH less than the people who love you.
I also don't really see a need to kill Whitetail off yet, because she makes a really good elder imo. She's practical but still likes to have fun, and is capable of giving really good analysis.
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Then, on his arrival in Constantinople, after much counsel with himself, considering that he was already unequal to the amount of pressing business and believing that there was no room for delay, on the twenty-eighth of March he brought the aforesaid Valens into one of the suburbs and with the consent of all (for no one ventured to oppose) proclaimed him Augustus. Then he adorned him with the imperial insignia and put a diadem on his head, and brought him back in his own carriage, thus having indeed a lawful partner in his power, but, as the further course of our narrative will show, one who was as compliant as a subordinate.
No sooner were these arrangements perfected without disturbance than both emperors were seized with violent and lingering fevers--
AM 26.4.3-4
this was one of those illustrations that was originally supposed to be a 5 page comic until I realized I don't know anything about later roman empire architecture or visuals or art or anything, so we'll revisit that later. maybe
for right now though, these two are fascinating. we have two brothers acting as one body, even becoming ill in tandem with each other, it's giving This Throne Is Cursed. like, the last time I read about emperors coming down with life threatening illnesses, it was Caligula, and that moment in his biography marked a very specific tone shift. I spent the rest of the (first) time reading about Valens and Valentinian waiting for something comparable to Caligula's reign to happen lmao (Dio 59. 8. 1-2)
and since Caligula was already on the mind, I started thinking about Tiberius: I think he would've loved these two since he had a whole thing about twin-ification and brothers and etc etc etc. ofc, Rome is both a Mouth and a Tomb, so it's going to go badly for someone/everyone eventually, but honestly I think that Valentinian and Valens were the best we could've hoped for. like it could've been so much worse
Tiberius and the Heavenly Twins, Edward Champlin
Failure of Empire: Valens and the Roman State in the Fourth Century A.D, Noel Lenski
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
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