Requests are closed, but this has been sitting in my head for months. A white picket fence-themed story with slasher undertones! This is a little different to my other posts (and longer) because it has a concept and build up, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!
Content warning: Slasher horror, adult themes, and overall fucked-upness. Viewer discretion advised. R18+ only.
The reader is referred to as she/her.
Yandere America headcanons
Everyone says the same things about him. That heās friendly, charming, and reliable. The boy-next-door, the type youād trust your drink with. What nobody knows is that itās all an elaborate guise to hide his true colors. Once he reveals them, thereās no going back. Youāre never getting away from him.
The worst part is, nobody suspects a thing. Everyone would think youāre the crazy one for accusing him. Thus, his untouchable reputation (and cunning) makes him the most dangerous yandere of all.
The office romance
Alfred is the most popular guy in the building. Heās a hard worker, a people person, and lights up the room with his smile. It feels like he has everything going for him: a great job, good looks, and lots of friends that canāt get enough of him. What he canāt seem to get is your attention.
Youāre married to the Danish ditz from customer relations, Mathias Densen. HR usually frowns on that sort of thing, but you were cute together. Either way, youāre friends with Alfred for the same reason everyone else is. Heās charming. The only difference is that he makes an effort to see you outside of workāto see a movie, to grab dinner, or to catch up over some coffee.
āSo, what do you say? Me and you at Mastroās?ā
Youāre walking out of the break room when he jogs over, his blue tie swinging from side to side. Heās been going on about having a steak dinner with a friend, then complaining nobody wants to go with himāonly because he hasnāt asked anybody yet.
āI donāt know, Al. Isnāt that place expensive?ā
āHey, itās not like Iām paying for the both of us.ā
āOkay,ā You laugh gently, turning toward the cubicles. Everyone is clacking away on their keyboards or speaking into their telephones. Your husband is one of them, only heās more animated than the rest, nodding away and chuckling every now and then. āIāll try and get Mat to pick me up at ten.ā
āGreat! Iāll be sitting in my office pretending to do stuff until we get off.ā He beams.
He likes getting on your nerves. Itās that one trick that gets you to feel closer to him. And it works. During work hours, heāll drop by your desk to steal your snacks for a reaction. He will literally pluck a candy bar or pastry out of your hand and stuff it in his mouth while walking away. When you get mad at him, heāll just laugh and go, āyouāre not supposed to eat at your cubicle. Iām just saving your ass from trouble. If you donāt believe me, you can take it up to HR.ā
If heās not picking on you, heās a total sweetheart. Alfred will make you coffee without being asked. Mathias usually keeps an eye out for stuff like that, doing favors for you when you need them, but not when heās predisposed with work. Heās easily distracted, unfortunately. And Alfred is an opportunist. āYou look tired. Iāll add in an extra bit of everything to give you the energy.ā
Being closer to him, he can act more like himself when heās around you. That means less of the laughing, small talk, and all that nonsense. He can actually give you a straight answer. Youāre willing to let him explain, and if not, you seem to trust him for his judgement. He loves that. He thrives off validation. But by the rare occasion you do disagree with him, you mostly just poke fun at him. āDoesnāt that seem kinda stupid? Or am I just an asshole? Iām the asshole? Okay, fine.ā
He starts obsessing over you. Itās refreshing to be around someone he doesnāt need a social battery for. Alfred is also lonelier than heād like to admit. He canāt count how many superficial acquaintances he has. Youāre an outlier, so he make it clear heās high-strung about you in a āguy best friendā way. He wonāt stop competing with Mathias over everything as a joke. Itās really not. āSo, is the husband gonna take you to Field of Screams this weekend, or am I gonna have to?ā
He makes his attraction to you glaringly obvious. Alfred doesnāt care to hide it. It starts off subtle, like looking at you when heās laughing in a group setting. Then, heāll start gazing your way when you arenāt even paying attention to him. When it gets to that point, he has the balls to hold your waist when heās around you. When I say heās an expert at playing things off, I mean it.
Thatās when he starts scheming. He will match his schedule with yours and sabotage Mathiasās. You start seeing him more during the work week, not knowing it was his doing. Alfred will catch you in the break room every day, making sure to get in every ounce of interaction there is.
What gets him to blow his cover is jealousy. And not from the third-wheeling heās already doing. That, he can keep a lid on. But telling him you hope to have a baby soon? With your husband?Alfred will turn red in the face and lose his composure. His reaction is visceral, rambling about why you shouldnāt, that itāll ruin your career, that kids arenāt economic, and any other bullshit reason he can come up with on the spot.
āYouāre too young,ā He laughs breathily. Heās already rubbing you the wrong way, but he drives the stake in with this comment. āAnd plus, do you really wanna have a baby with that guy? I mean, look at himāā
You slap him right across the face.
His head turns in the direction of your hand. He falls silent, his smile gone. Thatās the end of your friendship. But to him, itās the start of something else. And it isnāt half as holy as what you have with Mathias. Or what anyone has, for that matter.
āWhat, do you hate me now? Just say it and Iāll leave you alone.ā Alfred gives you a side-eye.
āI really want to hate you.ā You fume, wrapping your arms around yourself. Your voice is hushed to hide the hurt in it. āYouāre an asshole. But I just want you to apologize, even if I shouldnāt talk to you again.ā
āFine. Iām sorry.ā
When you argue
Alfred is manipulative. He victimizes himself or over-exaggerates to make it seem like something is not his fault. āIām sorry for giving my opinion. I was just trying to be honest,ā or āGreat. Now Iām the bad guy.ā are typical responses when you confront him. He hates being confronted. He will do anything to avoid the blame, even if it means pinning it on you. He never admits heās wrong.
He needs to have the last word in an argument. He will go back and forth with you for hours if he has to. He only ever stops when you give up, meaning you storm out on him. Heās knocking on your door, pleading to work this out with you. Shut him out all you want, heāll force himself into the room. āBabe, just hear me out. Iām sorry for being an assholeāwait, donāt lock the doorāyou locked the door. You know I have keys, right?ā
If youāre crying, he turns gentle and affectionate. Kissing, hugging, whispering how sorry he is for hurting your feelings. Alfred then makes it up to you with a romantic dinner, a movie night, or flowers. Even then, he still wonāt double-down. He only feels bad for making you cry, not for the point heās making. Egocentric is his middle name. He thinks his opinions are always right, and canāt see things from another perspective.
Psychology
He has a sense of entitlement like no other. Being close to him will give him the confidence to do anything. He will go from a friend to a homewrecker pretty fast. Why? Because he can. It comes from his undying belief that youāll always forgive him. That you like him enough to let everything he does slide. And he wonāt think twice to take advantage of your soft spot for him.
He has a major superiority complex. Alfred loves what he isāhis intelligence, charisma, and wit. He also believes heās far better for you than Mathias is. What he has with you is more special, and heās dying on that hill. āYou can be with him in another lifeā is bullshit. Fuck that. Having a husband wonāt stop him from chasing you, let alone your rejection. You just need to give him some time. Youāll warm up eventually.
Heās mastered the art of seduction. Once he admits his attitude is out of jealousy, he will try and get you to give in to him. If he can kiss you, or better yet, get you to have sex with him, your marriage will be over. Heāll have you all to himself. āI didnāt want you to have his baby because I want you to have mine. Okay?ā
Alfred is very traditional. He loves the idea of having a nice big house in the suburbs. He has a thing for kids too, so itās no wonder why he freaked out so much in the first place. Heās also happy to play along with gender roles, however obsolete they are. He wants to be the provider. Thatās one thing he mentions to persuade you to dump Mathias and marry him instead.
Heās obsessed with his image. Alfred needs to look like a perfect poster boy to compensate for everything heās thinking about doing, or what heās already done. Being admired is a coping mechanism for him to be at peace with himself. Heās deluding himself that heās a good person. Thereās a practicality of a good reputation tooāhe can avoid any and all suspicion.
Whatās unique about him is that he never āsnapsā. He retains a level-headedness throughout, even while doing the most unsound things. Making threats, stalking, you name it. He can look Mathias straight in the eye and say, āIāll kill you,ā before smiling and playing it off as a joke. Itās not. Heās already thinking about how heās gonna do it.
He feels no empathy for his victims. Thereās a ānecessityā in his actions, and he refuses to think theyāre really just violent impulses. He associates aggression with unrefined criminals, which he feels heās above. Heās too clever and classy to be a criminal. Heās too āin controlā of himself. Alfred could be the most dangerous out of all the prisoners behind bars, but heād get pretty pissed being treated like the sameālike an animal.
Heās a true-blue psychopath. Itās hard to gauge how much love heās capable of, but his obsession with you goes without saying. Keeping you in his grasp is all he can care about. Controlling how the world sees him will make sure of that. Killing anybody in his way is just maintenance. Thereās a satisfying finality of death, the absolute silence of possible witnesses. His victims will never get him caught if theyāre in the trunk of his car. The soil in his garden. When they let out their last breath, all they see is the million-dollar smile that everyone fell for. Itās a final display of power, a cruel reminder that he will never be caught.
His first target is your unassuming husband. The trigger is simpleāyour plans to start a family with him. Alfred needs to get rid of him before that happens. He will study his schedule before following him in his car. When Mathias is alone, he will sneak up from behind and hit him in the back of his head with a bat. Alfred will pack his body in his trunk like heās packing for Summer.
Heāll comfort you while youāre grieving your husbandās sudden disappearance. When youāre anxious in the middle of the night, heās more than happy to talk to you over the phone. Alfred is now closer to you than ever, and makes it a habit to swing by and keep you company. What he canāt change is how you feel about Mathias. Heās long dead and gone, but your love for him is undying. Sometimes, you might even cry about how much Alfred reminds you of him.
Thatās how he comes up with this: impersonating and replacing your late husband. An opportunity comes along when you get in a car accident. Alfred rushes to the hospital to see you, only for the doctor to inform him of the brain trauma you endured. You have retrograde amnesia; you canāt remember major details about your life. Not your friends, family, or a Mathias Densen being in your life. Alfred would be a fool if he didnāt take advantage of that. He will sit by your bedside and lie that heās your husband, the Mr to your Mrs.
Home life
Alfred is a con artist. Not only will he convince you of your new marital status, heāll get rid of any evidence of Mathias being in your life. Heāll photoshop his face out of your pictures and replace it with his own. Itās easy to do because they look similar. Then, he shows it to you to ārefreshā your memories of him. Youāre sitting in your hospital bed, bonding with him over events that never happened. Not with him, anyway. āAnd theseāā He flips through a photo book before wiping his eyes. āāthese are our wedding photos. Theyāre really, really pretty, I know. We rented out a National park and everything.ā
He takes you āhomeā to the middle of nowhere. The house is a huge, rustic, and gorgeous manor in the mountains, i.e., miles away from your next door neighbor. Itās the perfect getaway for fresh air, quiet, and enjoying the wilderness. Alfred can live the life heās always idealized, and with the woman heās idealized it with. He wonāt have to worry about anybody finding you here, either. āOnce you get a little better, we can try out the pool. Itās heated.ā He grins, turning to you with a spatula in hand. Youāre sitting in the patio while he barbecues some meat. As for the apron, itās a bright pink one with ākiss the cookā on it. And you do, thanking him for how sweet heās being.
Heās a dedicated husband. Alfred is incredibly sensitive to your mood, and will do anything to keep you comfortable. He has no problem going to work, doing the chores and being there for you when you need him, especially while you recover. You worry youāre not doing enough, but he always assures you otherwise. All he wants is for you to get used to moving around on your own. Deep down, he knows that having you is more than what he deserves. Being the perfect hubby is almost like his redemption for what he did.
He works on himself. He canāt ruin what he has with you, so he tries to mellow out his more undesirable traitsānarcissism, apathy, etc. Alfred will go to therapy for it. Separating from him isnāt on the table. Ever. What are people gonna say when you tell them you divorced a man you never married? What is Alfred gonna do when they tell you about your real husband? Keeping you happy is his number one priority, and heāll feel good while doing it.
Alfred manages all your affairs. You donāt know where everything is, all your files, documents, and important passwords. You donāt ārememberā them, apparently. But thatās no problem. He can handle it. He becomes the more dominant one in the relationship, being responsible for the bills and bureaucratic side of things. Thereās nothing you can do without asking him first, but it never feels restricting, or demeaning for that matter. Heās always kind about it, doing things for you and taking the lead, so you feel protected.
Heās very sensual. Alfred values the physical aspect of the relationship, and, of course, the time he spends with you. He loves taking you on long walks where he can just hold your hand and ramble about all the animals he wants to find. Deer, chipmunks, even butterflies. He loves it when you take off his glasses just to kiss him. Suddenly, he doesnāt want to look for animals anymore. āWanna go home and kiss in the pool?ā
He likes sleeping in on Sundays. That gives you the chance to get up and make breakfast for him. Alfred is a pretty heavy sleeper, but it doesnāt take long for him to wake up when youāre not next to him. He will get out of bed, throw on a robe, and saunter into the kitchen with the worst bed head of the century. While youāre frying up some pancakes, he will hug you from behind. āCan you put in some chocolate chips for mine?ā Alfred mumbles, squeezing you tighter. You ask him to let go of you so you can get it for him, and heāll just change his mind on the spot. āNah.ā
He has to be in the same room as you. The house is pretty damn big, but it doesnāt feel like a home when he canāt be with you. If youāre folding laundry in the bedroom, he will walk in, flop onto the bed, and clack away on his laptop. If youāre watching TV when he comes home from work, he will put his head on your lap and take a nap. Alfred is clingy when heās tired, but who doesnāt sleep better when theyāre around loved ones?
Heās the most affectionate when he wakes up in the morning. Not only is he comfortable in bed, heās turned on by your smell. Youāve been under the covers with him for hours, so your scent is the strongest now. Alfred will cuddle you for a good hour or so, kissing you until you memorize the taste of his tongue. He also has to deal with morning wood, so morning sex becomes a bit of a routine. Itās the first thing on the menu, after all.
Not a month goes by before you find out youāre pregnant. Either from him, or Mathias. You think itās Alfredās. Alfred doesnāt know that, though. But itās not like heās gonna check. A paternity test could potentially be evidence for his crimes. Either way, it doesnāt matter. Heās excited to be a father, and thereās nobody else out there that can claim the baby is theirs. The baby will look like him too, so it wonāt make much of a difference.
Heās happy, youāre happy, and Mathias has germinated into a flower. Thereās a pretty patch of daisies in the backyard, which you see Alfred tending to every now and then. Heās picked up gardening as a hobby ever since he moved here.
āI didnāt know you liked flowers,ā You comment mindlessly, staring into the yard from the balcony. The daisies sway lightly to the breeze, and you stand watch. Heās hugging you from behind, kissing your head and cheek. āThey look really nice, by the way.ā
āNice enough to not be dug up, I hope.ā
āWhy would I dig up something you planted?ā
āYou wouldnāt.ā Alfred smiles. āYou wouldnāt.ā
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