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donutlover417 · 3 months

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okay i routinely write shit down while half asleep so here's a post of some of my favorites -It’s midnight. I approach, t-posing. This slowly morphs into me doing fornite dances, and then dabbing, all as I chant YouTuber intros. You watch in horror as my Body turns to plastic and contorts until I morph into a fidget spinner. the roblox oof sound effect blasts loud enough to make ears bleed. God has returned.

-Why are chairs so terrifying what secrets do they hold -Caterpillars control the government -God is like a bee he doesnt have legs -What if you yelled at a rock and it yelled back

-I had a dream that m&ms introduced a new character called “mister white-y” who was a whiteboard with glasses, a tie, and glasses and the internet by freaked out because he “wasn’t even a candy” and people began writing MASSIVE analysis videos on his design and why he suck’s super badly Going into massive detail on why each and every aspect of his design sucked He wasn’t in the main line up of m&ms he was a side character

-gay culture is discussing if snails have emotions at 1 am

-I love candle wax I could just rub it all over my body -Dream where someone gets turned to stone and yells “guess I’m sus” while doing an amongus pose before getting turned and everyone was really really really sad wholesome that that was the last night he chose to do

-Amab. Assigned mogus at birth

-Imagine if vaginas were like cheese graters so every time a dude had sex his penis would get smaller. And period’s are just the built up penis bit falling out . That assumes all Afab people have sex tho, which they don’t

-Cocaine belt buckle

-Sex is like mowing the lawn i like to do it with a lawnmower

-Bill wurtz airplane ticket Atlanta Georgia 8;00 pm

-Cake face (body horror)

-Piss is undefinable

-Slime@ rancher dead god

-The bite of an amongus can actually cause arthritis

-Flap my ass like flappy birddddd

-“You know, I’ve jerked off to your wanted poster.”

-Man with hotdogs for eyes

-Egg the walrus husband greets you when you come back from work

-Nine legged baby. it crawls with it's face legs

-why do charmin ads always feel less like toilet paper ads more like someone’s fetish

-I’m just like a turtle I can’t rent my cock

-black hole vagina steals your penis

#long ass post #half asleep

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paralysnooze · 7 months

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CRAZY qsmp fan theory of mine that is probably impossible to become canon

The eggs are not dragon eggs but bird eggs.

Even I'm not a 100% in with my theory; I also think it's a bit dumb, but hear me out:

Yes, magical and monsterous beings exist so, the eggs being dragon eggs is not impossible, but, so are animal/ animal-human experimentations.

If we look into q!Baghera's storyline, she's a successful duck-human hybrid-

Most of the Federation's hybrid experiments failed. It's most likely that it's hard to create a hybrid baby that could live long enough to become an adult, UNLESS they're a specific kind of species...

There are other hybrids from the Federation, but we don't really know if some of our streamers are part of the experiments.

Jaiden (parrot) helped the Federation before. Philza (crow) is a mysterious one because he could be a bird-creature experimentally, genetically, or magically. Of course, there's Quackity and Elquackity (ducks). Big enigmas. We don't know that much about them.

[ There are cat characters too, like Tina and Niki (COUGH COUGH-CELLBITtT-CIIGH-ANTOINE-) but we don't know if it's because they're an experiment or just genetically that way (or furries COUGH) ]

[also, most of them have dominant human features except Baghera. Philza is the only one who canonically acknowledges the existence of his wings.]

It feels like bird-hybrids are the most successful experiments for the Federation. I mean, they "love" their birds!!! And I feel like the eggs are the 2nd or 3rd generation (heck, maybe even more than that) of that project.

The failed specimens either died or got turned into codes. That's why the codes want to be like the eggs sometimes, because only avian-hybrids are able to survive and be stable for a long time.. The only ones put into adoption.

But even if they're successful, that does not mean the experimentation is over. It's always torture.

But eh, that's just my weird theory.

Maybe they are dragon eggs and the Federation is trying to step up their tube-baby game. Maybe they figured that their experiment doesn't necessary have to be a bird-hybrid to be successful, BUT they just have to come from an egg.

If you think about it, birds came from dinosaurs, and dragons are just magical dinos, so the eggs are very close to the bird species (idk what I'm talking about).

Maybe that kind of egg is just a slow hatcher unlike their first experiments, and that's why they need more supervision and more tests than ever.

Only time will tell. (also, I used successful a lot in this post. I could've find a synonym for it or something)

#qsmp spoilers #Qsmp #qsmp theory #qsmp baghera #Qsmp blue bird #qsmp jaiden #qsmp philza #qsmp eggs #I wrote this at 12am #half asleep

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bevadryl · 7 months

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ITS HERE!!!!

#fall #autumn #whip out your pumpkin spice lattes girls its fucking fall #pumpkin spice #pumpkin #the lich #adventure time #guys its fucking fall #im so ready #best season fr fr #also the lich likes it #adventure time edit #made this #while #half asleep

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ghost-goats-circus-ink · 4 months

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Drew them while half asleep, enjoy!

#blackout hospital #arcadekitten #vasilis deerlington #half asleep #Amimimi

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accidentallyatekneecaps · 9 months

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAIKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EAT AS MUCH CAKE AS YOU WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

#half asleep #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #kusou saiki #saiki kusuo

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mouse-of-dimitrescu · 3 months

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I'm not supporting murder, it's wrong. I understand. Don't arrest me. I'm just saying that it's literally not Alcina's fault that she has to kill people. She got LURED in by Mommy Miranda then she got the Cadou implanted. And it's not her fault that she has her hereditary blood disease ( porphyria cutanea tarda) which causes her to run on a vampiric diet.

Re8 is basically a survival game, you defeat the obstacles and reach your goal ( Ethan's goal, my goal would be overly flirtatious). Like Ethan WetcatWinters, Alcina is also trying to survive as well as please Miranda who she was brainwashed by. Miranda's grief of the loss of Eva was not Alcina's fault, nor the other lords.

I'm half asleep while writing this. Please excuse my stupid choice of words.

Like Alcina said: Ethan is literally killing her family while trying to save his own. It's unfair. I'm a simp. I know. But for goodness sake. This angers me. And it's fiction.

#re8 #half asleep #late nighr thoughts

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ghostcrows · 11 months

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I’m not afraid of dying

I’m scareder of me

I wanna see the sunset

I’m ready to sleep

I’m not afraid of crying

When I’m on the street

I wanna see the sunset

And I’m half asleep

#drew monson #half asleep #audio #jams #i'm dead

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syruption · 4 months

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2024 I get to do more vagueposting! Yippee🎠🗡️➰➿🎡🎢

#2024 #Uhh #Half asleep

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itsyourstarboy · 1 year

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Lol, y'all want a sneak peak?

Streamer!Honey pt.4 wip↓

#i wrote this at like 1 am #half asleep #high off my ass #apparently i write better under horrible conditions #redacted audio #redacted headcanons #redacted guy #redacted honey #redacted shitpost #redacted streamer!honey #🐏💎

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whumpasaurus101 · 1 year

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Like Father, Like Son - Pt 3.

Okay this mini-series won't get out of my head so welcome to part three and I cannot lie, I have a big feeling there will be a few more pieces BYIDJKHDJ

Part One / Part Two

---

Asher felt his mind distance itself, his body slowly beginning to rock an unsteady rhythm as tears streamed down his face. He wanted Jack. He wanted to be held by someone. Anyone. He wanted space. He never wanted to feel touch again. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck-

His body jolted with a sob. He never wanted to see or hear of Aiden again, he thought he never had to but looks like that was just a fucking lie he had been telling himself. Just another lie. How fun.

Asher was on the verge of falling asleep- or losing conscious, he didn't quite know- before Rodger’s footsteps sounded from the basement stairs. Asher had just about enough in him for his eyes to lift up to meet the sound. He was lying on his stomach by now, curled in on himself, a bloodied mess.

“Asher, I-I’m so sorry, I had no idea, I-”

Asher barked out a laugh, jesus, even his laugh sounded weak right now-, “Oh please, don't pu-pull this b’llshit out of your ass. Acting ‘ll innocent and oh you're just so-soooooo much better than Aiden, arentchya?” Asher had to swallow hard, feeling how dry his throat had gotten before he rasped out, eyes hardening, “You're all the f-fffff-fucking same- the whole lot of you-” Asher had to pause for a moment, taking a shuddering breath as his lungs felt as if they were on the verge of collapsing with each second he spoke, “Ju-just f’ck off…” Exhaustion hit him and he had to practically had to force his eyes open, “D’n’ h’v time f’r y-y’r shi-shit…”

Rodger slowly knelt beside Asher, cupping his cheek, feeling the boy flinch away but quickly lean into the touch as he realized it was gentle, not rough…not Aiden. Rodger couldn't help but smile, he loved Asher like this. “Come on, let’s get you resting, no point staying down here.”

Rodger had to practically grab Asher’s arm and sling it over his shoulder before hauling the boy up. Asher was simple to carry, when Rodger was getting miffed from the noise of Asher’s legs dragging against the floor, he simply scooped Asher up into his arms, carrying him bridal style. The only protest Asher could manage was a wheezed whimper but that was it.

“Put him down,” Nikos sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as Rodger entered the room, “Stop babying him.” Rodger looked back to him quickly, “Father… he- have you not seen what Aiden did?!?!”

“I did, it was barely a scratch, you know, son, I didn't raise you like this, I raised you to be tough and cold hearted.”

“I am being tough, I’m doing everything you’ve thought m-”

“-You clearly are not. You are raising this… beast! You’ve learnt nothing!!! I…I’m disappointed in you.”

Silence fell, Rodger gulped, clinging tighter onto Asher without realizing. His throat suddenly felt cold and bare, “...I… excuse me for a moment, I need to clean up his back before he gets a fucking infection, pardon me if that's too godamn soft.”

And with that, Rodger dragged Asher to the next room. Asher had blacked out for god knows how long. His eyes finaly cracked open, letting out a groan as the room was way too bright for his liking. Rodger smiled, gently ruffling Asher’s hair, “Mornin’ sunshine.”

Asher groaned, rubbing his eyes, wincing as any movement sent an army of lightning bolts across his back, his wounds disturbed by the sudden cold air of the room. Asher shivered, “Wh’re amm-mm I?”

“My room, it's one of the only proper bedrooms that has a lock and I need my father away from you.” Asher started laughing, half muffled from the pillow in which his face was buried in. Rodger turned around, eyebrow quirked, “What- what???” Asher let out an amused sigh, “You meant you need your father away from me but also you.” Rodger rolled his eyes, “Oh shut it, I could just leave these wounds how they are and now patch you up.”

“Oh please, you and I bo-both know tha-that you’re too much of a fff-ff’cking perfectionist to do that.” Rodger clenched his fists, rolling his eyes before storming off to the bathroom to get the supplies he needed.

Asher felt as if he was floating, he guessed he must’ve got a hit to the head as his eyes started drifting shut. It was a battle he was fighting to stay awake but he must have fallen asleep as he was abruptly awoken by Rodger digging his nail into one of Asher’s wounds.

“No sleep yet until you can hold a proper conversation with me.”

Asher groaned, burrying his face further into the pillow, “Ff-ff’ckn’ dickhead.”

Time went on and Rodger was just about finished patching Asher up, occasionally jabbing at wounds to keep the other awake before there was a knock at the door. Asher jumped and Rodger tensed. They stayed in silence for a moment before the knock sounded again.

Rodger sighed, finishing off the last stitch before cutting the thread and walking to the door. The second his hand left the lock, the door burst open, forcing Rodger to stumble back. Nikos stepped forward, “You’ve been in here for enough time, he’s fine, stop bloody fussing over him!!!” Asher watched as Rodger rolled his shoulders, clenching his fists tight behind his back, “Father, it was your choice to come over. It was your choice to bring Aiden here today and finally, it was your fucking choice of giving me this lifestyle! I am sick and tired of-”

Rodger was quickly cut off as Nikos grabbed a fistful of his shirt and shoved him against the wall. Rodger let out a wheezed cry as his father towered over him, “You listen here, Rodger, I am sick and tired of you being such an ungrateful mess. I mean- come on, I gave you everything, I made sure to raise you right and-”

“Oh please, you were barely ar-”

He was quickly cut off once more as Nikos slammed him against the wall, this time Asher shot up to his feet, ignoring the pain which bolted through him as he growled, ready to pounce.

Nikos simply stared at Rodger, setting his jaw, “Call your mutt off.”

Rodger coughed weakly, his eyes glazed over slightly as he let out a shaky breath, “A-ash…-”

“Jesus Christ,” Nikos muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Asher, if you know what’s good for you, do not interfere, I’ll deal with you later.”

Asher cracked his neck before taking a step closer, his voice dangerously low, “Let.Rodger.Go.”

Rodger squeezed his eyes shut before speaking, his voice with much less strength than he had wanted, “Asher, I-I’m alright. Easy, boy.” But Rodger knew it was no use, he recognized Asher’s rage- Protectiveness. It was always when Jack was around. He had to admit, he was happy to see at least some progress.

Okay, understatement, he was thrilled.

“Bullshit. Nikos, let go of Rodger, this is your final warning.” Nikos scoffed, “Final warning? Don't make me laugh.”

“Oh I won’t, that wasn’t quite what I was planning,” Asher smirked, cracking his neck. Rodger knew that smirk was familiar, it took him a second to realize where he recognized it from. Every match he had, that cruel-sinister smirk was painted on Asher’s face.

“Asher…” Rodger warned quietly, but he knew it was no use.

Nikos chuckled, low and menacing as he watched Asher raise his fists, “We really doing this?” Asher smirked, raising his fists back and assumed his fighting stance. He flexed his knuckled, clenching his jaw as his smirk grew wider, “Bring it on, old man.”

Nikos lunged first. It was never a smart idea but Asher was right in assuming that the anger would get to the other. Asher easily dodged the attack, sending Nikos stumbling a few steps. Asher snarled, grabbing a fistful of Nikos shirt, sending a right hook across his face before kicking him away.

“You little shit,” Nikos grinded out, feeling the anger bubble inside his chest.

Asher smirked. He was quick on his feet, dodging two more punches and landing his own attack. But his state soon let him down as Nikos punched Asher hard. Asher cried out, his back locking up as Nikos had managed to hit against Asher’s wounds.

“Shi-shit-” Asher hissed, ensuring he kept a safe distance from Nikos as he felt blood soak through his shirt already.

“Ready to give up?” Nikos smirked.

Asher wiped a trail of blood from his nose, smirk unmoving as he gritted out, “Not even close.” And so the fight continued, a storm of heavy fists against skin. Asher swayed, quickly catching himself on the wall, right beside Rodger as he cursed under his breath.

“Come on, Asher, give it up. All I’m asking you to do is accept defeat, let me deal with Rodger, and then I’ll give you my full attention.”

That smirk- those words- Asher stiffened, a shiver running through his spine, it reminded him of Aiden. Nikos took advantage of the pause, grabbing Asher by a fistful of his hair, yanking his head back and wrestling a piece of rough fabric into his mouth. Nikos used his elbow to pin Asher to the wall by his back as he started tying it behind Asher’s head, making the boy cry out as hair got tangled in the knots.

Once Nikos was sure there was no getting it off, he grabbed a fistful of Asher’s shirt, spinning him around and shoving him down to the ground. Just when Asher thought shit couldn't get worse, while he stumbled over his feet, he fell down, his head knocking into the radiator on his way down.

Rodger went to rush over to Asher but a hand on his shoulder soon stopped him, “Enough. Kimberly and I have spoken and we have decided to stay here until the mutt’s attitude has been fixed.”

Rodger blanched, “I-I’m sorry what…?”

“During my stay here, he will continue to wear that gag, if he manages to screw that up well then he’d leave me no other choice but to muzzle him, am I understood?”

“Fath-”

“Am I understood?”

Rodger instantly shrunk in on himself, biting the inside of his cheek as he felt his heartbeat pick up, “Ye-yes, father.”

“Very well, now, I’m going out to my poor fiance who’s been sitting out their for the past few hours. You are going to sort out that piece of shit.” Nikos emphasized the last word with a harsh kick to Asher’s ribs, earning him a whimper that was just about audible. Nikos shoved Rodger against the wall once more before storming out.

Rodger took a moment, rubbing his shoulder before slowly making his way towards Asher, kneeling down beside him, “Asher, you still with me?”

Asher groaned, slowly blinking his eyes open. He had fought in enough matches before for Rodger to know by just looking at him that Asher was concussed. He let out a sigh before speaking, “I have a feeling this is gonna be a long shitty night.”

The only answer he was given was a giggle from Asher, confirming that tonight, Rodger was surrounded by idiotic people who quite frankly pissed him the fuck off.

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Taglist: @likeit-or-whumpit @milk-carton-whump @yesthisiswhump @appy-polly-loggies @whump-cafe @hold-back-on-the-comfort @tears-and-lilies @whumpkinpie @whumping-belle @whump-queen @whumpdreamz (LMK IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED OR REMOVED <3)

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