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glassartpeasants · 4 years

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You Look Happier

Shigaraki x F!Reader x Overhaul

Warnings: Angst, toxic relationships, cheating

~~~

You sit on your boyfriends bed as a sigh escapes your lips. It’s been like this for as long as you could remember. You, sitting on the edge of his bed while he sat at his computer utterly ignoring your existence. You knew deep down he loved you, at least that’s what you hoped.

It felt like the same thing over and over and over again. You feel ignored and you go to ask your boyfriend for some time together then he just ends up yelling at you for making him die. It was a process that always repeats itself.

But no matter how much it pissed you off you always stayed. Why because to you, he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. But you slowly were beginning to think he didn’t feel the same.

“Hey um, Tomura?” You asked as you gently tapped his shoulder which resulted in him slapping your arm away.

“What?” He said in a irritated tone.

“I was just wondering what you wanted for dinner...” You said quietly.

“McDonalds.”

“But, you ate that last night. Can i make you something a bit more healthier at least?”

“You asked what i wanted and i said McDonalds.”

“Oh o-okay...” You voice sounding like a scolded puppy. You turn away and walk out to your car and turn the key.

~~~

Once you had gotten McDonalds you walk out of the store and go to your car...only to find it’s gone.

“W-what happened to my car?!” You gasped. Looking around to see no trace of it.

“I guess thats what i get for leaving the door unlocked...” You sigh as you felt tears prick against the corners of your eyes.

You begin moving your feet towards you home as tears stream down your face. First your boyfriend ignores you, then was being an asshole and now you’re car was stolen.

~~~

You could see your house from where you stood. After an hour of walking you made it home in no time. You sigh in relief before you felt a gun being pushed against your back.

“Give me all your money or i blow a hole through your damn chest.” More tears was coming out of your eyes.

“I-I dont have any money...it was stolen along with my car...” You’ve been to McDonalds so many times that you know the exact price of your boyfriends favorite food by heart. Thats why you only took some money from your wallet and left the rest in the car.

“Bullshit! You have McDonalds in your hands. I’m gonna say it one more time give me the money or I’ll-AHH!” A liquid hit your back and the feeling of the gun was no more. You turn around and saw a puddle of blood and a man with a plague mask next to it.

“Disgusting honestly-”

“Thank you so much sir!” You cried as you dropped to your knees. you held the fabric of your jeans in your hands as the McDonalds splatter all over the ground.

“Why didn’t you use your quirk? Everyone-”

“I don’t have one. So i guess you could say i was born unlucky.” You laughed trying to stop your tears.

“Quirkless eh? People go after you guys all the time since you have nobody to protect you.”

“I have a boyfriend but..he doesn’t seem to care about making me safe i guess,” You chuckle but your tears keep streaming as you look up at your savior.

“That’s unfortunate.” He looked down at you before scrubbing his arm.

“Not a fan of germs I see?” You smile up at him.

“No.”

“Well i guess im not a fan of germs myself haha..” You get up and look at him smiling even through your tears.

“Ah i see.” You only giggle making him raise an eyebrow before you hear your ringtone that you set for your boyfriend. You laugh nervously before picking up the call and the first thing you were greeted by was yelling.

“Where the hell are you?!” You boyfriend screeched.

“I’m s-sorry. My car got stolen and i had to walk back.” You said facing away from the man that saved you not seeing him furrow his brows.

“Well it’s probably cold now!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll try harder next time...I love yo-” Your boyfriend hung up the phone before you could finish.

“I’m sorry you had to see that sir, it’s best i be going now.” You said grabbing the McDonalds and throwing it away.

“Here.” You turn around and saw him holding a piece of paper. You grab and see a number on it.

“Thank-” You look around and see the once mysterious man disappear. Even if he was gone you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Maybe you would actually have a friend that didn’t ditch you after you got a boyfriend.

~~~

“Hey...I’m back...” You said opening the door to your apartment only to hear rough moaning coming from your you and your boyfriends shared bedroom.

You tip toe towards your room and put your ear towards the door only for a blood consuming sadness washed over you.

“I can’t wait to meet you next week! All this online sex is getting boring.” A feminine voice rang.

“Yeah just gotta make sure my girlfriend wont suspect anything.” Thats when you lost your shit. You kicked open the door and stomped your feet all the way over to your shitty boyfriend.

“Get.The.Fuck.Out.” You said grabbing him by his collar and yanking him out of his chair and turning his computer off.

“You look so much happier with her! Go be her boyfriend for all I care! I’m sick and tired of doing everything for you only to be treating like crap. Tell me Shigaraki Tomura, did you ever love me.”

“W-what?”

“YOU FUCKING HEARD ME!” You screamed at him, tears rushing down your eyes and onto the hardwood floor. Making a tiny puddle.

“I did...”

“Then why?” You said as you felt your entire world start to crash around you.

“...”

“I can’t believe i even wanted to marry you! Have kids with you! I can’t believe i even thought a selfish prick like yourself was capable of love!” Shigaraki’s eyes widened. He was at a lost for words. You wanted to be together forever. You wanted to start a family with him. And now because he was so closed off and refused to believe you truly loved him he ruined it. He was so stubborn and in denial that you truly loved him he destroyed the only person who would have cared for him in his darkest days.

“I’m giving you 2 hours to get your shit and leave. Stay here any later and im calling the cops.” You said before walking out of your bedroom and going to the kitchen.

~~~

2 hours were almost up and Shigaraki had all his stuff packed. Everything he owned was out the door except for a necklace that you had given him for his birthday. It had a picture of you and him in it. He shivered as he remembered the day you took it.

He stepped out of the bedroom and went to go to the front door where he saw you in the kitchen. Tears whelmed up in his eyes before turning around to leave.

“I paid for that locket. Leave it here or destroy it.” He froze in place. Did you really mean it? Couldn’t he have just one memory of a good time you both had?

“You don’t deserve to remember me.” Shigaraki started to shake as he held onto the locket tighter. He held on it like his life depended on it before he felt it slip through his grasp. He turned around only to see you holing the chain in your hand as the locket dangled in front of him.

“Please give it back...” His voice sounding so weak and vulnerable. His heart pounded in his chest before stopping as he saw you throw the locket to the ground and stepping on it making the locket break to the point of no return.

“There I did it for you.” You said before grabbing the back of his shirt and tossing him out of the door and shutting it. Making sure he heard you turning the lock.

~~~

1 year later

Your laughter was music to the mans ears. Ever since he met you on that day where he saved you from being robbed he couldn’t get you out of his mind.

After he heard about your breakup he swooped in and immediately was your shoulder to cry on. He didn’t know what it was about you. You were just his everything after he met you. Pretty much to the point where it annoyed him.

“You jacket looks cleaner today, did you wash it?” Boom there it was. Everything you said and did always made him fall deeper in love.

“Why I did thank you for noticing, by the way, I have a meeting tomorrow with someone and i was wondering if you would like to accompany me?”

“Of course! I would do anything for you Kai!” You said smiling as you wrapped your fingers in his gloved hand before brushing your cheek into his sleeve.

“You know you look so much happier then you did when i first met you.”

“Well before then I didn’t have you!” You giggle before planting a kiss on his mask making him blush a bit. You never kissed him on his skin only on his mask. Which he greatly appreciated but he did want to feel your lips on his once.

~~~

You and your boyfriend sat on the couch while you heard footsteps coming closer to the door. You scoot closer towards your now boyfriend and intertwined his gloved finger with yours. Making him hold your hand tighter.

“Right this way.”

“Fine whatev-” Silence. There stood your ex boyfriend Tomura Shigaraki. He looked so much different. Your once happy face slowly dropped to a emotionless one. No noise was made as Shigaraki made his way to his seat.

“Now Shigaraki lets talk.”

Overhauls voice meant nothing to him. All he could do was stare at you behind father. And you knew he was staring at you too. He couldn’t believe it. His ex girlfriend, the one who he let get away, was with Overhaul.

What hurt the worse is that while shigaraki was in Overhauls office he noticed all sorts of pictures of you two together. Smiling and happy with one another.

When was the last time you smiled at him like that?

“Shigaraki! Are you even listening?” Overhauls voice dragged him out of his thoughts.

“Yes.”

“Good, now I have a question for you.”

“What?”

“Why are you staring at my girlfriend?”

“Because she looks happier.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I think you know...”

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blookmallow · 3 years

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Can you do a rating on child animatronics like you did with the clowns

i sure can

welcome to animatronic nightmare preschool

theres a trend ive discussed about spirit before where all their female animatronics tend to be either the “old hag” type, or “creepy little girl” - and now that im thinking about it i actually couldn’t think of any boy characters ive ever seen. i dont know why this is exactly. theres something to analyze there but im not really sure what it is. i found a few but almost ALL of them are little girls. i dont know what to say about this but i did notice it

there IS a boy in this group though:

ring around the rosie

enter the ritual

just some nice kids having a fun time. it may be cliché at this point but i love the “spooky nursery rhyme” trope anyway (and y’know, ring around the rosie was already creepy to begin with. im not sure if the theory that it’s really about the black plague is actually true but its still highly questionable to include the line “ashes, ashes, we all fall down” in a childrens rhyme with no explanation either way)

for some reason the fact that none of them have hands and its just their sleeves tied together is really funny to me and i dont know why. they also dont have feet and im not sure if its a technical limitation for convenience purposes or if they’re supposed to be little ghost children but it definitely comes across like they’re little ghost children who tied their sleeves together to try to feel like they’re holding hands which is very cute. 10/10 big fan of this one

i already mentioned harriet hustle in this post, shes fantastic

angeline

i LOVE this one shes SO cute

i dont really understand how she's supposed to be scary, the description is like "she'll scare the lights out of your guests" or w/e but like, she's just. a kid who can see ghosts. she herself isn't even a ghost. i like her id adopt her i think she'd be a fun addition to a graveyard scene 10/10

abandoned annie

ok technically this one is a doll but im counting her anyway, shes one of my FAVORITE spirit animatronics bc A) i love creepy dolls B) shes cute and most importantly C) her entire fucking face unhinges i need y’all to watch the video on this one its so good 12/10 ive said this before but animatronics that do something completely fucking unexpected are my absolute favorite

broken girl

completely batshit. horrifying. shes actually initially standing upright and then snaps backward and screams and the image does not do it justice i highly recommend the video for this one. not much there as a Character but as “really effective way to scare the shit out of someone” its, i would imagine, incredibly effective. 9/10

there’s also menacing molly who looks similar and has the same kind of “facing away from you but then snaps backward” scare but is on a swing and sings “I see dead people, I see ghosts 💖i see the things that hate you the most” before she does her jumpscare which is incredibly funny to me

double trouble

creepy little girl trope meets creepy twins trope, at first glance i thought this was just like, discount grady twins (which it looks like they also have, in blatant knockoff form. they’re uh, not good) but it looks like their description backstory is that they killed their mother and disappeared with their rumored-insane father so its slightly different. one of their phrases is “daddy says we have to play outside :( he doesnt want any more blood on the floor” and i love it

they have a pretty good sense of personality and character to them even if its not necessarily groundbreaking. 7/10

ellie hatchet

i love this one bc so many of the creepy little girl animatronics are just pretty much standing there being creepy but not ellie. she’s fucking DONE with all of you. you come near her she will swing an axe at your face. 6/10 not really a big stand out but i appreciate her undying rage

lunging lily

shes spooky. she jumps out at you. thats about it. i dont really have anything to say about this one. that sure is a creepy little girl that jumpscares you. i like that she goes “help me... help me...” before she jumps out but i feel like it would be hard to get the timing right for that to actually work as a lure to make guests curious where the sound’s coming from since most of these are motion activated. anyway 6/10 shes just not very interesting

johnny punk

one of the rare boy characters, i have actually seen him in store and just completely forgot about him because he was that uninteresting. he doesn’t really do much and his backstory on site is just like, “He's got a nice house, loving parents and a severe attitude problem.”

like this isn’t an undead child back for revenge against those who wronged him or a crazed circus runaway or anything. he’s just a bratty kid. hes like a 13 year old who just saw Joker and has decided to make it his entire personality. this comes across less as a threatening figure and more just like some shitty kid who thinks he’s cool. i glanced at the comments on the wiki page and it turns out absolutely everyone hates him which is completely hilarious to me

2/10 nobody likes you johnny go do your homework and apologize to your mother

i also found limb eating zombie boy, who is considerably better

gross. bloody. would probably be pretty effective if you had him like, placed among some boxes or something so people dont see him at first and aren’t expecting him there. pretty standard zombie. i dont have much to say. He’s Fine. 6/10

mommy’s favorite

ive seen this one in the stores several times, I think we have her there now, and i just don’t. get it? she just moves back and forth with the “shhh” gesture and it’s like, ok, she’s vaguely creepy, but what’s going on here. she just says “don’t wake my mommy! she’s been sleeping for a long time!” so i guess the implication is that her mother is dead and she doesn’t understand, which is just sad rather than scary. the description says she makes mommy’s tea just how she likes it with five drops from the special skull bottle, which could imply she killed her mom, which would make more sense as a horror character, but if that’s How Mommy Likes It that implies the mother instructed her daughter to unknowingly poison her, which is horrifying but in a way darker sense than a spooky halloween prop lmfao

anyway if i have to go digging into descriptions to try to figure out what this character is or what shes supposed to be or anything i just dont feel like its a very effective character design. and i did read it and i still dont really get it. 2/10 i just feel like im missing something here

anyway there’s a bunch more variations of “scary possessed child” that are all basically the same, so im just gonna close this out with:

swinging skeletal boy

allo there, guvna

look at this dapper little victorian child im gonna cry he’s so cute

he just swings but has this surprisingly endearing soft little voice which COMPLETELY contrasts the weird shit he actually says. hes this precious little skeleton kid with a sweet little voice who goes “your skin is so nice :) can i have it? haha. that’s okay. I’ll take it when you’re sleeping”

absolutely love animatronics with that “wait WHAT did that thing just say” factor to them i love this guy 11/10 good boy my new son

i would also like to mention that people are also continuing to dunk on johnny punk in this guy’s comment section too fsadkflj people hate that shitty joker kid so much their hatred has bled into other completely unrelated swinging children

#spirit halloween #spirit animatronics #halloween #halloween animatronics #pinned

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vanityloves · 3 years

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anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

#rip lol i feel annoying but my blog my rights ig #brainworm ivy #gorillaz rambles

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voidselfshipp · 4 years

Text

Jealous

Tw mentions of guns,slightly suggestive,mentions image issues.

Ok to rb

--i hate her--jerico said feeding her black cat,who was standing on her shoulder;The cat hissed,and Ate the sunflower seed cookie--and shes going to spend a whole day here?near sniper?MY sniper?

The car mewoed,and she rolled her eyes-- its not that I have something to envy her, vica,its just that, well, just compare the two damn things, like, she can fend off for herself.

Her familiar jumped to the floor,and rubbed their head on her legs,purring.

--I guess youre right--she grabbed her backpack and went outside the van, vica jumps on her shoulder then jumps again, transforming Into their crow form--I still dont wanna see her...

Jer jumps as soon as she steps foot in the shooting range. The loud bang scaring the living daylights out of her.

--La concha de tu madre!--she screams out of the sudden as the gun bangs again.

--Thats enough amelie--an aussie accent said,Jeri then felt a pair of arms hugging her--You alroight Sheila?

--Yeah im okay, it did scare me though, I thought you had put silencer on that rifle

--Yeah I did,Amelie did not ,anyway what are you doing here?

--just wanted to check up on you thats all

The french woman sunk a bit as jericos glares daggers at her, to then sit nearby them with her crow friend cawing.

Both snipers kept on practicing,Jers leg bounced rapidly, seeing how concentrated both were.

Her familiar pecked her cheek with their beak when they caught her picking at her skin,and as a way of saying 'dont be silly'.

Then they flew on her lap and transformed back into a black cat,gaining some scratching under their chin from her.

--Splendid shot sniper--the peace jeri had for a moment vanished as she saw Widow hand squeeze the aussies shoulder.

Vica hissed,widowmaker had a damn deatwish.

Though the old demons heart ached for their niece,insecurities got the best of her, and they did get it.

Someone as widow,skillfully trained,great sharpshooter,and a nice voice and accent, and a nice physique.

They did understand where it came from.

They sighed and stood up in two legs almost hugging jerico,who caressed their back.

She was also wonderful in her own way.

--Alroight--sniper said-lets take a breather--we're going to Grab somethin ta eat,you comin jerico?

--im alright dont worry

Jer saw him leave with widow behind him, and looked at the old weapons crate some centemeters away from where she was.

When was the last time she used that damn thing?.

Vica hissed, and shook their head--Ya dont need to go through all that trouble to show off--their british accent was a breeze of cold air, they've barely spoken these days-- if ya wanna use that rifle use it,but you dont have to show off, he still loves ya

Jer put her familiar aside and kicked Open the crate,taking her own custom rifle out, engie had built for her as a way of self denfese..

She held her breath and sighed,calming down the palpitations of her heart.

--Just like dad taught me....

One by one ,and fairly quickly the targets were shot down by her.

Feeling satisfied she put her rifle out, turning around at the sensation of being watched, and slightly jumping when she sees both sniper and WIDOWMAKER on the door.

--Oh you guys are back--she put the safety on the gun and put it back in the crate.

--yeah--sniper said-- anyway, enough slacking off

Both sharpshooters resumed their training.

Vica nibbled at jeris hem of her pants, she then grabbed her and her backpack,muttering a poor excuse of a goodbye wich wasnt heard by neither of her companions.

--i dont fucking get it!--Jerico said while punching the punching bag at the gym--what does she have that I dont?!--her Fist Landed two more punches and a couple of kicks by her legs--i get the fact that hes teaching her but fuck!

Vicas fur stands up as jer hits the bag with such sudden surge of magic that it sends it flying.

--Okay champ calm down--vica stretched,and in a cloud of dark they transformed into their human form,taking off their plague doctor mask.

--Im not calming down shes just!--jer is about to hit thin air when vica stops her.

--Just what?

--Shes just better than me!okay?! She has a nicer body!better skills than me!shes just...way better than me!

Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes, frustration,sadness? Maybe both.

Vica hugged her,caressing her hair--Jerico,dont say that!ya have way more skills than 'er,and by gods sake, jerico youre so pretty, you dont need to have her body to be pretty,do ya really think Mick would be into that?no! Hes into you ya idiot

They could still feel her rage seething,so she grabbed her hands and pressed them togheter--Youre Burning up

--Its not funny

--no,look at the floor,youre leaving burnt marks on the floor, I need ya to calm down

Jer sighed, exhaling a handfull of smoke,toning down her temperature.

--See? Good!

The rest of the day jerico stayed away,knowing that maybe she should take some distance, she didnt want to burn down the whole base because her feelings were running wild.

Sparring worked wonders for her.

--Can you Belive that shit?--sniper asked to widow--jerico pinned down a Man twice her size, how in gods name!

The french woman looked at poor soldier, who was headlocked into place.

--quite impressive, oui.

Jer sighed stretching her arms as she let soldier free--thanks for the practice soldier

--Dont mention It cupcake! You fight like a true american

Though sniper knew soldier wasnt interested in jerico at all it made his blood boil,suddenly he got up on the ring,vest off along with his hat.

--mick? What are you...?

--oi bet I can kick soldiers ass

Jer snorted,walking to him-- okay calm down, you Jelly snipes?

She felt like a hipocrite acting as if she wasnt jealous herself.

--'M not--

Jer smashed her lips against his, pinning Him against one of the rings corners, where his vest and hat were resting.

She then grabbed his hat and shoved it on his face.

He thanked the lord for that,his cheeks were Burning red.

--you little rascal!--He muttered under his breath as he saw jer get out of the ring with a proud smile, that was more directed to amelie than him.

When the day was almost ending,sniper invited jer to the shooting range,and dared her to make more points than amelie.

Both aussie and french woman knew it was rigged.

Widow was going to loose so jerico could get a peace of mind over the whole situation and leave her alone.

But boy.

Both, Specially sniper who has seen jerico shooting a gun less than five times, did not expect for her aim to be that good.

And he did not expect the growl she let out when she hit the moving target twenty meters from her,neither his cheeks turning even more red, as she drew her weapon,smiled showing those sharp canines, and growling.

--Mas suerte para la próxima,amelie...--she handed him his weapon and pat his back--so I win

--y yeah you do

Eventually widow left,and jerico is now sitting on the bases roof, playing her guitar with both of her familiars resting nearby.

Her digits pressed the notes on the neck of the guitar, her other hand strumming the strings.

Mick peeked through the trapdoor,softly walking towards her,enamored as her sweet voice sang a cheesy love song.

--H hey--he awkwardly says sitting besides her as jeri leaves her guitar aside, her hands now resting on her lap.

--Hey Mick..Whats up?

Sniper looked away--w were ya jealous of amelie earlier today?

She sighed,recoiling in herself--Yeah...sorry if it annoyed you..

Sniper snorted--didnt'cha see how red ya got me?, id ask ye to get jealous more often

Jer looked at him surprised before breaking into a fit of giggles, launching at him.

One of his hands grabbed his hat tight as he fell back first on the roof, his other hand holding her waist.

Her lips smashed against his, and her hands went under his shirt just to mess with him.

His cheeks turn bright red, and he starts to stutter.

--Payback!--jerico smiled smugly.

He hid his face with his hat and tried to make a coherent sentence.

He then heard her chuckle, and kiss his chin--te amo,Mick

--wot?

--i love you

--I love ye too jerico

She smiled helping him sit up,both staring at the other longinly, his arms hug her waist while her hands grip to his shirt, and he kisses her.

He May need to make her jealous more often if it meant theyd end up like that every time.

#f/o fic #🖤shot through the heart🖤

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hyunjinssmile · 5 years

Text

“Lyrics For You”; Han Jisung

Disclaimers:

Descriptions of sex, dirty talk, angst, fluff, swearing, friends with benefits -> lovers,

Also, excuse my handwriting in this, as well as the lyrics (theyre mine and already in a released song, (aside from the my head hurts; thats for plot)

It was the usual, by now.

He would come home from practice, or hanging out with the boys, and then have you waiting for him, ready for him, to take care of him. It only really took one call; a message even, and you were both there for eachother, but dont get ahead of yourself y/n, you arent in a relationship.

Since highschool, you were both close, really close, but not in a relationship sense. Both of you produced music together and danced together, and even now after he has debuted, it just easier for him to have you; no strings attached, plus the world already knew you as 3rachas friend; a producer that made sure they would eat and rest, stays around the world thanked you for that the most.

Basically, somewhere along the line, Jisung and yourself became more than friends. You became friends with benefits, and unfortunately for you; like the plot of the 2013 Smuts on wattpad, you had fallen for him.

You had fallen for Han Jisung.

Would you ever tell him? Definitely not. Especially since after everytime you both hang out alone, he always thanks you so much for being his friend and understanding his situation, saying he loves how things always are.

“Y-yeah! Its fine” you smile at him as he puts on his clothes, after getting a call from JYP to come to practice earlier than he expected, to which he jumped up and got into the shower.

To be quite honest, the sex was distant. It was passionate, but quite clearly he was distancing himself from being intimate, he would never call you by anything other than your name, no pet names, and hed always take you from behind, never looking into your eyes. It was rushed, and rough, and although you found it incredibly hot and arousing, the emotions, rather the lack thereof, made you sad. It stopped you from enjoying it as much, you loved being close to him, and since he obviously didnt like you like you liked him, this was the closest youd get to it, to him.

It wasnt fine, as he shut the door, mumbling a goodbye and a promise to call you later, your hips hurt, you couldnt walk properly, and your heart ached. It ached for him, because of him.

You reached for your laptop beside you, wincing at the shocks of pain in your hips, before starting to make something, you needed to get your emotions out.

You work on a beat, the notes holding a sad feeling in your gut as you manage to get up from the bed, chucking on one of jisungs shirts that he had left from countless sleepovers, because even now, with the benefits part, he was still your best friend. You waddled your way to your studio, one that was often used by chris and changbin, as well as jisung, as when one of your songs you produced blew up; you could afford an apartment with a personal studio.

You sat down in your chair, cursing at the way you relaxed at the smell of jisungs shirt, before letting the beat play around you, adding in some tonal melodies ontop, before scribbling down some lyrics.

Time had flown by, and you got caught up in the process, the melodies and lyrics meaning so much to you, that tears ran down your face, your heart hurt, and this was how you were going to let it out.

Your phone had been going off in your room for ages, too caught up, you failed to recieve the messages from jisung, and in a panic, he travelled to your place.

Apon entering your apartment, he was met with a heavy bassline, but a slow, almost sad melody- contrast to your usual upbeat songs.

Jisung had liked you since he met you, but when he decided he wanted to persue being an idol, a producer, he knew he could never date- at least not in the public eye. You were his best friend, and after one night when you got closer, you both never looked back, friends with benefits was something that suited you both; well, judging by how quick you were to agree on the title; it suited you at least.

He wanted you to himself, he could only think of having you always in his arms, calling you his own, rather than the plaguing thoughts of you in a bed of someone else, but who was he to tell you not to? You werent exclusive, he made that clear. He groans at his stupidity, before walking to your studio, the lights were off as always, but he saw you hunched over your desk, the music blaring through the speakers next to you.

“Y/n?” He called out, before turning the music down, being left with your broken sobs as his eyes widened. You looked up in surprise, to find him standing there, wiping your eyes and attemtping to smile.

“Hey- jisung!” You said trying to be happy, which only made him more concerned.

“Whats wrong?” He said immediately,

“N-nothing, just writing something.” You tried to convice yourself you were fine for a moment, hiding the lyrics under your arms.

“Youre crying?” He moved closer to you, “and this is a sad song, y/n, you dont write sad songs, whats up?” He pauses, playing the devils advocate “boy troubles?”

You could only dryly laugh, “yes, actually”

Jisung felt his heart drop, before moving closer to you, trying to peer at the lyrics, watching you hide them. “Can i read?” He asked softly.

“No.” You said without looking at him, making him more confused. He tried to grab them, moving around, but each time you covered it, until he grabbed it from you.

“Jisung- just give it back-“

He held the page in his hands as he read it,

“Who is it?” He said softly, genuine care in his voice.

“Just give it back!” You stood up, making his eyes fall to your smaller figure, the shirt immediately recognised as his own.

He couldnt help but smile at the way you jumped to try and get it back from him, your cheeks pink, tears in the corner of your eyes.

“So you like someone? Maybe we should stop this” he gestured at the both of you, trying to conceal his hurt.

“What?” You said softly, your eyes widened.

“We should call this quits, us, ill find someone else” he was being casual, he knew it would hurt you, but it hurt him that you liked someone else, while he fucked you into the mattress every other night.

“Jisu-“

“You know, i thought i liked you, for a little while. I wont hide it. But, id hate to be the guy you liked if you fucked someone else while writing sappy song lyrics about them.”

He was being mean, really mean.

“I dont like you anymore, and were done.” His voice was cold, and the tears kept falling from your eyes, wide open with shock.

“You- I- the lyrics-“ you tried to speak softly, but he was mad. “Am i not good enough for you? Hm? Do i mean nothing?” He kept going.

“Get out” you whispered, eyes full with tears.

“What?” He was taken aback, you had never told him to leave, even during arguments.

“I SAID GET OUT”

And he was gone,

He took the paper with him, reading it in pain and ager the whole way back to the dorm, slamming the door behind him as he entered.

Chris was the first to talk to him, asking what was wrong. The boy crumbled in his arms, explaining everything, even mentioning how you two were friends with benefits, making chris surprised yet it suddenly all clicked.

“Let me see the lyrics”

As chris held the lyrics up infront of him, jisungs eyes widened as he saw a name scribbled on the back, immense guilt filling his entire being as he lost all air from his lungs.

“H-hyung move- move your hand for a second-“

Dread filled him, as he immediately got up, running as fast as his legs took him down the hall, out the door and out onto the street, running to your house, with tears in his eyes.

“You fucking idiot” he whined to himself as tears fell down his face, the colder air from winter bit at the skin on his face, but he kept running, until he was at your door, walking in, and running straight to your studio, finding you lying on the ground, crying your heart out and from experience, having a panic attack.

He immediately ran to you, picking you up and taking you to your room, placing you on the bed, looking at the way your eyes widened at his presence.

“W-why-“ you tried to speak, but he just held you tighter, pulling your body against his in a tigh hold, arms around you, squeezing you against his chest, your face pressed into his shoulder, as he cried into your own.

It would always calm you down, his hugs. Whenever you had panic attacs when you were younger, jisung was there, there to squeeze you and make you realise youre not alone.

“Im here- im here baby- shh-“

Endless petnames flew from his mouth as he helped you calm down, his nimble fingers wiping your tears away gently, his eyes reflecting your own.

“Im an idiot-“ he started slowly,

“Yes you are” you said softly, voice broken.

“I deserve it if you hate me, y/n. Im so sorry, even all this time id been using you because i thought you didnt like me enough to go out with me- and because of my job , i thought this was the closest id get to having you-“

“You have me” you whispered softly, making his eyes widen. “I felt the exact same way, you dumbass “ you said, looking up at him.

“So i could have been making you mine this whole time, taking you out, but all ive done is fucked you roughly, never said anything and had no emotion, all the times you said you were fine-“ his eyes widened again at the realisation of how it must have hurt you, confused you.

“Baby i am so, so fucking sorry.”

You held him closer to you, tightening your own grip as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, his breath fanning warm heat onto the surface.

“Ive never kissed you?” He suddenly said, breaking the silence, moving from his place on your chest , gour hands slipping from his soft locks of hair. You had talked for a while, sorting out how you felt and what you wanted, and then lay in silence, in eachothers arms for a few hours.

“No, you haven-“

He cut you off, pressing his soft lips against your own, his right hand cupping your jaw as he let himself wiggle between your legs, laying ontop of you and covering your body with his own, the feeling of him finally pouring all his love for you out, yourself doing the same, sent you both into an overflow of emotion, he pulled back, observing the way your cheeks tinged pink, his eyes locking with yours as he admired them, the view of you pinned beneath him, hair flowing our around you, made his heart skip a beat, his eyes landing on your now swollen lips from the kiss, warmth filling his being as he admired your beauty.

“Youre so beautiful, y/n, your eyes, your lips, your hair, your smile, your laugh, your jokes, your little pout, the way you stumble sometimes when you walk-“ he was blabbering, he knew it, but your heart filled with so much happiness, “i notice it all, i really do love you y/n. Be mine?”

“Im yours” you said softly, making him smile.

“Now to do this properly..” his hands dragged your underwear down your legs, removing his shirt from your frame as he undressed himself.

You immediately got onto your hands and knees, making him chuckle, immediately grabing your hips and pushing you back onto the bed, your back against the sheets as you gasped in surprise at his show of strength.

“I want to watch you as i make love to you, i want to watch your expression as i fuck this tight pussy, make it mine, youre mine, right?”

You nodded, making him smile down at you lovingly, pressing his lips to yours as he kissed you passionately, his fingers trailing down to your heat as he felt your wetness, his eyes widening is surprise “youre so fucking wet, you needed this huh? Making love is much better, i agree, im harder than ive ever been right now baby” he groaned, before letting one of his fingers enter you, slipping inside before moving so his hips are inline with your own, kissing up your neck to your lips before pushing himself inside of you, his hands holding your hips down against the mattress as he bottomed out, a whine falling from his lips as you whimpered into his ear, his brows furrowed as his lips found yours again, smiling against them as you did the same. “Feels so much fucking better, knowing that youre mine, baby.”

Bonus, 2 months later:

“This is such a good song, Chris, whats the chorus?” Your voice was happy as jisung held you close to him, his arms around your waist as you both sat on the couch in your studio, cuddling into eachother.

“I got inspiration from you two drama queens really. “

“Really?” You both turned to eachother, looking in eachothers eyes, finding nothing but happiness in eachother.

“Yeah, I used some of yours actually y/n.”

“Thats fine, you gave me some last season.” You reassured, smiling.

Chan smiled and pressed play on the chorus of the song, the lead up including a muffled audio scream, before you heard it;

“My head hurts”

Side note:

I actually write, make and produce some music too, so i felt quite close to this story. The emotions running wild whilst writing can really get heavy, and i actually do find myself crying whilst recording a demo, or writing the score, its the same with writing a fic, dont worry if its angst im crying along with ya, its just passion and heartache mixed together in a cocktail of emotions.

Lmao thats another one of my lyrics, ok ill stop thankyou for reading

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pigstepmp3-moved · 5 years

Text

the writers really did buck dirty in s01e02

its the post you’ve all been waiting for—my Aggravated Analysis Of Everything That Makes Me Mad about the Therapy Scene tm, now featuring some things that show just how emotionally and mentally fucked buck is. now, i know we All hate that scene with all of our hearts (buck deserves to have a Good experience w therapy for once, but thats just my opinion), but i wanna go into detail about what exactly makes me SEETHE about that scene, complete w gifs and screenshots so i can better explain myself. im putting it all under the cut bc its kind of A Lot, so click that “read more” if you wanna read my angry complaining

alright, lets set the scene (i know we’re all aware of the situation behind this scene, but i think its important to remind you all of it). season one episode two. bucks still very much a Huge horn dog. buck has also very recently suffered his First loss on the job and its taking a huge toll on him. i think what’s most important to talk about before we get to the therapy scene itself is the scene where abby’s watching him on the news with carla.

(not the greatest quality, but that doesnt matter). he very clearly looks uncomfortable just talking about what happened in such a Casual, No Pressure setting. he says, “i was just doing my job. i’m happy we were able to help the people we helped and i’m really sorry about those we couldn’t save.” he stutters a few times as he says it, looks and sounds very uneasy, which seems very out of character for him. he’s usually super confident and chill, but as he’s asked to talk about this (most likely) traumatic thing, he kinda clams up, yknow? theres also something in his voice that reminds me very heavily of the way My voice sounds when Im trying to force back tears, but that might just be The Way He Talks

another thing that he says that really stands out to me (i dont know if this is necessarily important to the topic at hand, but i wanna talk about it so whatever) is, “. . . um, i’m sure they’re just turned on by the uniform. you know, i don’t know if they would feel that way if they saw me out of it.” ignoring the more sexual connotations to what he’s saying there, let’s talk about what he most likely meant by that particular statement. he still sounds a little nervous as he says it and kind of avoids the reporters eyes. it sounds to me like this is a rare moment of buck’s insecurities being let loose. “i don’t know if they would feel that way if they saw me out of it.” this implies, i think, some insecurities about like.. every part of himself. it almost seems like, in this moment, he thinks his only redeeming quality is the uniform. which might actually be what he’s thinking right then, ‘cause he’s still trying to figure out how to cope with his first loss. i think theres some part of him, somewhere behind that overly confident persona, that has a lot more insecurities than he shows, but thats a conversation for another day.

now, let’s move on a little from that. what i think is very important and notable about that scene is some of the things abby says after watching buck on the news. first thing she says that stands out to me is, “i’ve been thinking i might want to call him to see how he is.” she’s worried about him. i think she’s probably been worried about him since the first time he was on the news, earlier that episode. and for good reasons, i think, because later on, she says, “. . . he needs help, you know? i mean, he’s got so much pain in his face. everybody’s treating him like a hero. he doesn’t feel like a hero. as far as he’s concerned, the guy that he was trying to save fell.” like, wow, just tear my heart out and stomp on it a bunch, why dont you? its such a wonderful and apt summary of what buck’s going through. to put it rather simply, he’s fucking distraught, and for good reasons. plus, that quote is one of the Big things that influenced my headcanon of buck having depression, and i could probably analyze every single scene bucks in in this episode that have added onto that head canon of mind bc there are at least a couple different things i could blather on about, but that’s some analysis for another post (if you’re interested in me talking about that tho, definitely feel free to let me know)

now, let’s move on a little further to the Dreaded Scene (i’d totally go into the scene that immediately follows the last one i talked about, where buck and abby are speaking on the phone, but i think i’ve emphasized my point of buck going through some shit in this episode to the point where that isn’t strictly necessary). for the rest of this post, i’m gonna kind of analyze every single little thing that buck does and says in the therapy scene bc pretty much all of it contributes to my burning hatred of that therapist.

like, yeah, no SHIT, honey!! as far as we, the audience, are concerned, this is the First time he’s EVER been to therapy. in my own personal experiences, my first time going to therapy was SO uncomfortable. and just looking at buck right here makes me feel uncomfortable, too—he’s fidgeting with his hands, looks to the side, looks down, looks up at her for a moment before looking away again. this boy looks nervous as hell, and for good reasons. he confirms that he is in fact uncomfortable, and then the therapist says, “well, that’s not unusual. you’ve been through a trauma. that’s why you’re here—to deal with those feelings.” remember that, because i’m not gonna go into the importance of that quote just yet.

the next thing buck says is, “uh, yeah, i’m, uh, i’m not really into feelings.” he kind of avoids looking at the therapist as he says this, though not as much as he did in that last gif. but his voice is like... uncharacteristically quiet as he says it.

more!! avoidance!! he keeps averting his eyes, looking anywhere that ISNT his therapist. and at the end of what he says here, he clenches his jaw a little. a nervous tick, maybe? i don’t know. as he talks here, though, his voice is, yet again, very quiet. he sounds just about broken right here, and it makes my heart ache so bad for him

after a brief break to check out what athena and michael are talking about, his therapist says, "i treat a lot of first responders—people who run toward danger—but maybe there's something you're running from as well? what is it about discussing your feelings that scares you?" the answer buck gives her? a very defensive, “i’m not scared.” if youre not scared, then why are you avoiding talking about your damn feelings like the fucking black plague? and when i say that he says it defensively, i mean, like, way too defensive to Not be suspicious

we don’t get to hear anymore about that particular question because next, we’re checking up on athena and michael again, and then we’re talking about something else. the therapist says, "you lost somebody. that's hard."

as he says this, he sounds fucking SAD. he sounds completely and utterly BROKEN. throughout this whole clip, he sounds entirely broken. the therapist asks if this was his first time. he responds with, "i mean, i've had calls where it was... too late, but, uh, but i've only been doing this not even six months. now, i... i just can't shake the feeling that this one didn't need to go down the way that it did." again, he sounds like he’s hurting really badly. this loss is really taking a huge toll on him and that is Very clear. she then asks him if he thinks there was something he could have differently. he doesnt respond, just looks up at her like this:

his eyes are a little red, and it looks like there are some tears in his eyes. like wow, you could murder me and it would hurt less than seeing buck like this

now, the next snippet is about where everything Starts Going To Shit (this is also the part where i start sobbing like a dumb baby, but thats neither here nor there).

you see that shit right there?? if you listen hard enough, you can hear my heart breaking into a million pieces. from this point on, buck is CRYING. honest to god fucking CRYING. he looks like he’s hurting so badly, especially at the end of that gif, when he furrows his eyebrows. it looks kind of like he’s trying to keep himself from straight up Sobbing. i’m sure it seems almost like i’m dwelling on this for a little longer than necessary, but i think emphasizing how emotional he is in this part is very important to understand just how much the end of this scene makes me fucking SEETHE. this next little bit is where i start to transition from Sadness to absolute Rage

you see that? this is the start of my slow deterioration into madness. up until this point, everything about this therapy session was completely and entirely professional. but home girl decides, hey, yknow whats a good idea? waltzing my happy ass across the room, sitting down directly in front of my PATIENT, and resting my hand on said PATIENT’s arm. i dunno about you guys, but this seems terrible on so many levels that it isnt funny.

now, yknow what happens next? some classic avoidance from our boy. she calls him mr buckley, so he says, "it's, um... it's actually just buck." (after VERY AUDIBLY SNIFFLING by the way, but i digress). he then deflects even FURTHER by asking her if she friended him on facebook.

“i thought you looked familiar,” he says. he’s no longer actively crying at this point, but there are most certainly still some tears in his eyes.

now, do you know what happens next, after a brief break to check up on athena and michael? the worst thing that could happen happens! i know it, you know it, little miss unprofessional sleeps with buck! and yknow what she says Immediately afterwards? “i can’t believe i just did that. i am so sorry.” like.... no! saying “sorry” doesnt change the fact that you TOOK ADVANTAGE of someone who is CLEARLY not in the right frame of mind to consent to something like that. yknow what he was doing the last time we saw him? crying. bc hes in a very vulnerable place in this episode. and yeah, sure, i guess you could make the argument that he was seducing her a little, but that doesnt change the fact that this is fucked up. now, side note about me, i’m only in high school and i’ve never had any job before, so i dont quite know the ins and outs of the professional world. but i do know a thing or two about common sense, so its pretty easy for me to assume that shit like this is awful on like a million different levels. i think the power imbalance is super clear to anyone who has any number of brain cells.

now, buck being as emotionally stunted as he is, says that she made him feel better (probably just for a few minutes, but thats neither here nor there). and yknow what she says? “you should go.” remember that quote from earlier? the one that i said was important and that i was going to go into later? “well, that’s not unusual. you’ve been through a trauma. that’s why you’re here—to deal with those feelings.” yknow what buck Didnt do? deal with those feelings. he talked about his feelings for maybe ten minutes, and that’s assuming that, during the cuts to athena and michael, the session was continuing and that it wasnt a matter of like, oh, this stuff is happening At The Same Time.

and all that is just During the session. we dont ever see the aftermath of it, we dont ever see buck talking about that session or anything along those lines. and we most certainly dont see him trying to go talk to a different therapist. the rest of what im going to be talking about this post is purely speculation, but i think its highly probable that this could all be canon. like i just mentioned, as far as we know, buck hasnt gone to another therapist after that shit show. additionally, we can also assume that buck really hasnt talked to like....... anyone about the shit he’s gone through, both past shit and shit that was brought up from this first loss of his. so as far as we’re concerned, he’s never properly worked through it all. he’s also probably never gotten any proper coping mechanisms to deal with any further losses. it seems a little too morbid to think that bucks just gotten used to the feeling that comes with losing someone, so i think its pretty safe to assume that, after every single loss he suffers, he gets like..... super fucked up, purely because he never talked about (a), the reason why hes scared to talk about feelings, or (b), how to deal with said feelings, especially when they’re bad. and thats not fair to him!! that loss clearly took a huge toll on buck, Most of the description of that episode is talking about the roller coaster and bucks feelings, but he never got to heal from it. if buck doesnt get something akin to a redemption arc, where he gets to see a therapist to properly work through all of his issues, i’m going to riot

anyway. thats all i have to say on the matter. i’ve been working on this for most of the day because i have so many thoughts and feelings about the way buck was treated during this episode. i will die mad about it. but i think i’ve said pretty much all i have to say on the topic now, so i hope my frustrated rambling was interesting or whatever to read. so, thanks for reading! ♥

#evan buckley #buck buckley #911 fox #911 on fox #lemme know if there are any errors or anything? im not proof reading this bc im much too lazy and bc i just wanna post this shit already #kendall blabbers #(maybe i should make a tag eventually just for ranting like this. i dunno. we'll see)

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moonchildhcs · 5 years

Text

parkjin headcanons!!

ur honestly both in awe at how ur in a relationship with each other because neither of u give urselves enough credit !!!! u r both sweethearts and visual gods

hyunjin: “wow ur so cute i cant believe ur dating me” parker: “no!! thats me @ u” god: “p l e a s e ur both cute babies and u deserve each other”

i digress

this bb is friends with some clingy ass mofos !!! like daehwi !!! ur getting the hugs u deserve and u will get no complaints from him abt ur affections either because hes just sitting their with you like o//w//o

dont believe this boys dangerous stage presence he is a softie through and through he will get you flowers and chocolates and everything you could possibly imagine !!! angel baby sweetie pie ur pumpy umpy umpkin !!!

he would absolutely love dancing with you !! he loves ur passion and drive to perform and is always willing to practice with u even when hes tired :( bb boy !! hes much nicer than chan tho lol but hes still a pretty strict teacher so expect some dramatic improvement under him

(also whenever you pull off a move properly he gives u a sweet s m o o c h so it encourages you to do even better for more opportunities to kiss ur bf)

bc hes an idol !! yall cant go out publicly for dates all the time so a typical date is yall goofing off at home, watching movies and shows on netflix, a romantic dinner if yall have the energy but generally takeout, blasting music and dancing around, etc etc he just loves being with you

but when its been a while he will absolutely take you out on cute dates!! sometimes cute elaborate picnics, sometimes a spontaneous trip around the city at night, but always without a fail fun and exciting, especially with your boyfie by ur side :^)

also initially he is SO shy with you !! like remember how shy he was around jinyoung ??? during the survival show??? multiply that by a MILLION this boy was so shy he blushed the deepest shade of red just by h*lding ur h*nd !!! he gains more confidence as the relationship progresses but pls be easy on this bb boys heart

also (wiggles eyebrows) yall can have some spicy kisses !! some intense makeout sessions !! but nothing further lol he is a SHY BOY and also very much 18 he is awkward and is not abt that life rn lol

like ur gonna be shocked at the duality because at the beginning of the relationship hes like “c-can i h*ld ur h*nd? and ur like “how did u censor that out loud” but now hes like “makeout with me” and ur like bitch WHAT but also okay lol

this boy is a solid eight inches taller than you lol if you think he wont even lightly tease you about the height difference you are wrong !! ur just chillin and hes like “hey :) hows the weather down there” and ur like “i will END you” and he blows a kiss ur direction and ur like “okay maybe not ur kinda cute. but comment on my height again and u will receive no mercy”

DUDE he is at the perfect height where he can rest his chin on ur head!! and give u forehead kisses !!!! he just loves u so much man !!! sure kissing u on the lips is great and all but kissing ur forehead?? CUTE

also so many of his shirts and hoodies disappeared and he was like ?????????? what !!! and then he saw you just DROWNING in his hoodie because he too loves oversized stuff and hes like. im fine with this (he takes photos and sets them as his home and lockscreen when they arent promoting) (this boy is GOOD at not getting caught)

dude when the Boiis found out u two were dating they LOST IT !!! interrogated then welcomed !! hyunjin was exposed by them a lot lol they exposed ALL the juicy stories and u were like :^)

dont worry tho ya girl laramie exposed u in kind so then hyunjin was like :^)

truly a bonding experience for the both of you

yall are both visual gods so sometimes u both will just. try on even the most ridiculous outfits and have a fashion show in the living room of ur technically shared apartment

yall take photos on ur phones in a super exaggerated manner in order to mimic the paparazzi and photographers and shout encouragements like “YES KING GET THAT BREAD” and “OH YES WORK IT”

willing to nerd out with you at a l l times !!!

oh my god him sleeping over when he can when hes not promoting and u waking up to him spooning u and just. big cuddle hours: activated

soft kisses before jokingly going “u have morning breath” and just the resounding GROAN before he threatens to leave u cold in the bed and ur like no wait-

hes trying to be frugal with his money as he hasnt been an idol for that long but he definitely buys you gifts from time to time when hes reminded of u

“babe i got this red panda plushie for u” (insert parkers unintelligible shrieking here)

hes not the most jealous boyfriend actually !! he trusts you a lot and is okay with you being friends with whomever u please but sometimes he sees u fangiring over his seniors or smth and hes like >:( im a good performer too love me !!!! pls !! he just wants ur love smooch his cheeks and ull be good

also to get him flustered? peck his cheeks or (gasp) his NOSE he gets so flustered bc its so innocent but so intimate at the same time so he just gets so RED and stutters and ur just like :^) ah how the turn tables

this boy is a ROMANTIC through and through hes not old fashioned but he likes doing cheesy things like opening the door for you, giving you flowers, pulling out the chair for you, etc etc

he just wants to LOOOOOOOOOOVE you !!!!!

he doesnt go for too many pet names but babe and princess are what he leans towards !!

he practices his english on u and u practice ur korean on him (hint, ur better at korean than he is at english)

but he tries so hard and hes so cute !!! his english is so cute!! appreciate this baby pl s

him: “my hands are big so i can hold the world” u: “worm?” him: (holds ur cheeks) u: (choked) “w-worm?”

u guys r so cheesy but its so cute !! he just wants whats best for you

also you guys are no strangers to having deep and highly emotional talks because ur both very empathetic and vulnerable people

youve talked about ur insecurities and so has he!!! uve also both confronted the whole “ur not dating me because of my visuals/because im an idol right” and ur like “um?? no ur a sweetheart and a dedicated boii and performer and-” and then u go on a half hour long rant about all the things u love abt him and hes just like :’) i love you

whenever hes away for one reason or another, esp stuff like tours, he leaves a bunch of his clothes that smell like him so you wont feel as lonely !!! because the sad reality is is that on tours when hes not on stage hes practicing practicing practicing so keeping in touch is kinda hard

but he does his best !! he sends letters and text messages and voice messages and everything !! and when he can he facetimes you !!

we have ALL seen the boys instagram he will take a burst of 10000000 selfies on ur phone, plague u with the “ur icloud storage is almost full” messages, and it takes u 12239632485 years to delete them all (after making sure they are safely backed up into ur google photos)

yall are SO CUTE and take so many couple photos !!! yall are that iconic couple and u generally post these on ur super exclusive finsta but sometimes u sneak in a blurry pic of him on ur main or even a censored pic of him and ur like “do u ever just have the cutest sweetest (and hottest but hush) boyf in the world to flex on the broke bitches who hate u” and hyunjin is like BABE and ur like :^)

lowkey sometimes u get jealous of jinyoung bc this boii loves and respects him so much and ur like “What Does He Have That I Do Not” and hyunjin is like “a successful career as an idol” and ur like “define successful” and he GASPS

jokesjokes lol yall playfully argue with each other a lot but if any of u go too far its pretty obvious bc u get quieter and he just. emotionally withdraws and u can see it in his eyes and ur both like OH NO BABE i didnt mean to hurt you im sorry !! and ull have a quick convo with multiple apologies and then ur BACK TO BUSINESS

OMG DUDE HOW YALL MET WAS SO CUTE

so basically he was out with !! the boiis at this cute coffee shop that is never crowded so its safe for them to just relax without having seven masks on lol

and the u !! come in with laramie like :( dude school SUCKS and laramie like nods her head intently like yes indeed

and this boy is struck with LOVE like ur . so cute. and tiny. and cute. and ur venting so passionately about how the education system does Not Meet The Needs of students and hes like. her passion. i love it

and u havent noticed him but oh man the boiis have and they are RUTHLESS bc hes so shy but theyre like GIVE HER UR NUMBER COWARD

and after an overwhelming amount of encouragements and some mild bullying (and laramie going to the bathroom because this dumb bitch spilled a lil bit of tea on her shorts and shes LIVID) and this boy approaches u and ur now love stricken

bc hes so CUTE !!! and its clear hes a lil nervous bc hes blushing uwuwuwuwuwuwu but he said !! he really admires ur passion and he thinks ur really cute and hes sorry if this is creepy but could i get ur number and ur like yes. pls. i love you (jokesjokes u dont profess ur love immediately but DAMN were u close to)

u and hyunjin all blushie and excited and the boiis are LOSING it and laramie comes back like “hey fellas whatd i miss-”

anyways yall are THAT power couple who love each other and are super devoted!! and have an amazing time with each other and DAMN ppl say love is dead but clearly they havent met yall

@daffodwlw read this and weep tears of love, coward

#:^)#parkjin #yes im adding tags to keep track of whos who in case i add some... more ships to this account :^)

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