emily 'hilda hilda' axford and Lou 'commit to the bit' wilson as party birds is everything I ever needed

Hello! I’m Ellie, this is Dorcas and I hope you enjoy this trainwreck of a soft as all hell introduction to my babe. I’m super excited to be writing here okay byeeeeeeeee.

is that LILY JAMES wearing that HUFFLEPUFF scarf ? no, it appears to be DORCAS MEADOWES who happens to be a SEVENTH year and a MUGGLEBORN !! SHE is CISFEMALE, and i heard they’re COMPASSIONATE and BENEVOLENT but might also seem NAIVE and DAMAGED. they appear to be leaning towards the side of the ORDER, but this is a conversation we should be having somewhere else. ( ellie / nineteen / gmt / she/her )

TRIGGER WARNINGS : death, injury, hospital mention, dogs.

PART ONE. BASICS / MAGICAL FULL NAME & MEANINGS  : Dorcas ( GAZELLE ) Andromache ( MAN / BATTLE ) Meadowes ( LIVED IN OR NEAR A MEADOW. ) DATE OF BIRTH : November 16th. AGE : 17. ZODIAC SIGN : Scorpio. HEIGHT : 5 ft 7 in. EYE COLOR : Dark brown. LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED : Ambidextrous.  FAVORITE COLOR : Light blue / black. SCHOOL : Hogwarts. BLOOD STATUS : Muggleborn. WHAT ARE THEIR PARENTS JOBS? : Her mother was a stay-at-home tutor, and her father was a doctor. ( Her aunt is a therapist. Her uncle is a lawyer. ) DO THEY HAVE ANY MAGICAL BLOOD? : Not in her immediate family. Her fifth, twice removed, much, much older cousin is a wizard (of Emeric Switch fame! Imagine that!) HOW DID THEIR MAGIC FIRST MANIFEST ITSELF? : She wanted to talk to the dogs at the local pet store, and accidentally ‘phased’ through the door. She was found half an hour later just stroking a pitbull puppy which had latched itself onto her. YEAR : Seventh year. HOUSE : Hufflepuff. PATRONUS : Panda. ( THE PANDA IS A RESOURCEFUL ANIMAL, AND THOSE WITH IT AS A PATRONUS ARE THE SAME. THEY ARE GOOD AT USING WHATEVER IS AROUND THEM, AND INCREDIBLY CREATIVE AND BRIGHT. THEY ARE FRIENDLY AND WARM, AND MANY MAY GO TO THEM FOR ADVICE OR HELP, WHICH THE PANDA WILL WILLINGLY GIVE. THEY ARE A BIT OF A HEALER BY NATURE, ENJOYING COMPANY AROUND THEM AND USING IT TO ENHANCE THEMSELVES. THEY LOVE TO EXPLORE MANY AREAS OF KNOWLEDGE AND THE WORLD, TRYING TO BROADEN THEIR HORIZONS AND KEEP THEIR MINDS OPEN. ) BOGGART : Her father, sat in the same armchair he’d always loved. His head turned towards her as he tells her it was all her fault, and the room shrinks. UPDATED: Earlier, and for very good reason, I wrote a drabble centered around what her Boggart would be for a different roleplay. It’s different than what it is now, but I’m nevertheless extremely proud of it. You can read it here. AMORTENTIA : What is it about true love, dearest? What makes everyone go wild? Is it the prospect that someone, someone whole, and unflinching, is out there - waiting for you? Waiting for your embrace, your touch? Or is it just that they are tired - tired of making homes in people and receiving nothing back? You, though. You make homes in all manner of things. And, anyway, who decided homes can’t be humans? Who decided home is a stationary concept? That your heart can’t be held in the hands of many people, that it cannot be crushed and sewn back together in a matter of minutes? Who decided that love, that great big messy concept, has to be romantic? You are as messy in love as you are in life - that is to say, you build pieces of yourself from the people around you, from the pieces of themselves they give you. The skin beneath your ear? Composed of the whispers of secrets from your first boyfriend. Your nose? Your mother’s love. The inside of your wrist? The balm of Emmeline’s arms around your body, shielding you the only way she can.  No. It isn’t so impossible that love is greater than the romance. That love is so many more things. The Greeks of old always said there were many kinds of love. Eros. Agape. Philia. Storge. Ludos. Pragma. Philautia. It is these things that you, alone, recite in that dungeon. The cold seems to envelop you as you take in a breath, the tendrils of your senses magnifying. It can be overwhelming, you know, but you are not as surprised as you expect to be. Warmth, sinking between your fingertips, laps at your cheek, at your lips as you breathe out. It sticks to you, to your tongue. Like caramel and peanut butter, the batter of the cookies your aunt always makes, the s’mores that you made around the campfire just last week. Her hair, or is it her perfume (?) wafting in your direction - regardless, you stay rooted to your place. Daisies, growing wild, the way they had at home, in your back garden. The smell of old brick and something crumbling - that weird Dragonleather smell that stays in the air whenever Hagrid passes, the smell of bursting fireworks (that time that the Marauders hadn’t realized there was anyone still down the corridor) and butterbeer, warming. Your dogs breath, laughter bubbling up as you remark on the smell of toothpaste, on peppermint and mossy treebark.  You’re not surprised to smell all the things that make this place home - you’re not surprised to smell that it’s not made up of just one person - just one thing, fixable - but many. Moving parts that flare up and slide away into the background of your senses. WAND : Phoenix tail feather core. 9 inches. Black Walnut. PETS : Owl, named Athena. Also owns a pitbull, the light of her life, Agape ( LOVE AND AFFECTION ) or Aggie, for short. CHARACTER INSPIRATION : Cinderella, Sonya Rostova, Izzie Stevens, Craig Middlebrooks, Ann Perkins, Ella Lopez, Jess Day, Riley Matthews, Penelope Garcia, Kara Danvers, Capheus Onyango, and Jane Villanueva. ( CHARACTER TAG HERE. )

PART TWO. ARE YOU GOOD AT… DANCING? : I certainly try.  SINGING? : Yes! COOKING? : Somewhat. DUELING? : Never been better. STUDYING? : If my grades are anything to go by, yes. MAGIC? : Uh, I’d hope so.

PART THREE. HAVE YOU EVER… DRIVEN A CAR? : Yes. Not well, though. FALLEN IN LOVE? : … Yes. HAD SEX? : Yes. LAUGHED SO HARD YOU CRIED? : I don’t know anyone who enjoys their life who hasn’t. SMOKED? : ... No. DONE DRUGS? : Nope. BROKEN THE LAW? : Accidentally. KILLED SOMEONE? : No.

PART FOUR. LITTLE SECRETS BIGGEST FEAR : Losing everyone. And everything. SOMEONE YOU ADMIRE : Emme, McGonagall. SOMEONE YOU FEAR : I don’t really know. Dumbledore, when he’s mad. Whatever that ponce of a miserable Muggle hater is called. SOMEONE YOU MISS : Grandpa. Terry. My brother. Mum. Dad. SOMEONE YOU COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT : Emme. Myself, too. SOMEONE YOU COULD KILL : Anyone who hates muggles. DO YOU WANT KIDS? : Maybe someday. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? : To the right person? Yeah. BIGGEST REGRET : Not sleeping in the same room as my brother that night. ( I could have saved him. I should have saved him. ) CAN YOU SEE THESTRALS? : Yes.

PART FIVE. FINISH THIS SENTENCE I AM… : Sleepy. Wishing Emmeline was here. I WISH… : Ice-cream could become a person. MAYBE ONE DAY… : I won’t feel this guilt anymore. SOMETIMES I… : Fall in love in the morning, and out of it by lunch. MY FAVOURITE SUBJECTS ARE… : Herbology. MY LEAST FAVOURITE SUBJECTS ARE… : History of Magic, Divination. IF I COULD DO IT AGAIN, I WOULD… : Save my brother. IF I COULD GO TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL, I WOULD CHOOSE… : Beauxbatons, not Ilvermorny. IF I COULD CHOOSE A DEATHLY HALLOW, I WOULD CHOOSE… : The Stone. ( Say it like it isn’t a mantra, Dorcas. As though it isn’t something that’s poisoned your dreams since discovering those stories may be based in reality. )

PART SIX. MISCELLANEOUS

DESCRIBE THEIR AESTHETIC IN THREE WORDS : Sea, daisies, laughter. THEME SONG : Lavender’s Blue ( CINDERELLA SOUNDTRACK - 2015. ) / Sonya Alone ( BRITTAIN ASHFORD - NATASHA, PIERRE & THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 - ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST RECORDING. ) / Times are Hard for Dreamers (Pop Version) ( PIPPA SOO - AMELIE - ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST RECORDING. ) TOP FIVE SONGS IN THEIR ( MODERN ) PLAYLIST : You Are Enough - Sleeping at Last, Yellow - Coldplay, When I Kissed the Teacher - ABBA, Breathe - In The Heights, & Paradise - George Ezra. VINE THAT FITS THEM : ( x ) RANDOM HEADCANONS : 1. Dorcas loves deeply. Deeply, deeply, deeply. It’s intrinsic to who she is. She’s protective, maddeningly so, and unable to sit still. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and is a nightmare when it comes to pacing herself. She knows not of patience, or of taking time to breathe. She consists solely of love - a palace built between her ribs of the people that she loves. In this, she is a typical Taurus Hufflepuff. ( x ) 2. Dorcas lost her parents at a very young age. She doesn’t often speak of it - speak about them, about the parents that she lost and the brother that she was unable to save. They were killed in a home burglary turned murder spree when she was six. They’d been meant to go on holiday, but Dorcas had come down with the stomach flu, so they’d foregone the vacation when it spread to Dorcas’s younger sister, Calliope. The only reason that Dorcas survived was that she managed to climb beneath her bed with her younger sister Calliope facing the wall, only her back visible from the opening created by the duvet. She gets stabbed three times, one of those stab wounds narrowly avoiding piercing her spleen and the major abdominal arteries. She still has the scars on her lower back. Callie was uninjured, and she was the one who managed to get to the neighbors house (by climbing out of the window from the second floor and dropping at least eleven feet). Dorcas remembers, mostly, finding out her parents and brother were murdered. The rest of it often feels incredibly foggy. She went through therapy for a number of years before she was discharged from the North West Surrey Mental Health Trust. The nightmares, today, are infrequent, but some nights are worse than others. She often takes a calming draught before she goes to sleep - provided by Madame Pomfrey at the Hospital Wing.  3. Dorcas’s best friend in the universe is Emmeline Vance. They aren’t in the same house, but that doesn’t matter. They met at eleven, on the train to Hogwarts. Dorcas, with brown hair down to her hip, and Emmeline’s hair newly cut into a bob ( her parents had gone wild at her for that one, ) and that was it. The rest, as they say, is History. If you can’t find Dorcas, she’s usually with Emmeline. 60% of her spare time is spent wherever Emmeline is. They’re one another’s great loves. She doesn’t know what she’d be without Emme.  4. Dorcas wants to be a Herbologist or a Healer when she graduates. She’s not sure how likely that plan is to succeed with everything going on - how far she’ll get before she abandons it all to help the people that she wants to help, desperately. As it stands, 40% of her spare time is spent either in the Potions classroom or the Herbology classroom - Potions is a required course for becoming a Healer.  5. If this were a modern AU, Dorcas’d totally be a theater kid. She’d also be that kid that is always making scrapbooks - always half finishing projects, the one that has too many cacti and exotic plants in the corner of her room. She’d keep her phone on her, always, lockscreen always changing. She’d love bands like Little Mix and butcher the Spanish when she tried to sing songs like Despacito.  6. FUTURE: Dorcas manages to live through the Wizarding War ( well, mostly ) without casting the Killing Curse. She’s fast, she’s quick, and she doesn’t stand still. She’s often the one coming careening past the others, ducking beneath their outstretched arms as light - green, red, blue, yellow - is cast against the ground. She Apparates in and out, as though her being there is a mirage. People, injured, bystanders, disappear from where they’d been only seconds before, as soon as her hand secures around anywhere she can grip on. She works with trembling hands, to heal those that she can. Four separate times she manages to Apparate away from under Voldemort’s nose.  The first time is with her arm hooked under Fabian Prewett, his unconscious body bruised and the cut on his arm infected with what she suspects is a modified strain of the venom of the Venomous Tentacula. The second time is with a handful of wands - all belonging to fellow Order members. The third time is with Dedalus Diggle. He’s a handful, that time, splaying limbs, cracking as they twist around. They have a spell maker in their midst but Dorcas is the only one that can sooth the pain, to make it all more bearable while they try and fix it. The fourth time is with Emmeline. Emme’s far too headstrong for her own good, and knows how rare it is that Voldemort himself makes an appearance. Dorcas is the one that breaks Bellatrix’s focus - the Cruciatus curse trained on her best friend, on her Emmeline, flickers when Dorcas passes, a blur of black leather and hair tied up in a bun, bangs hanging low and the light long since dimmed in her eyes. When Emmeline comes to, the pain still ricochets through her bones, and Dorcas is powerless to help. It takes days for the aftershocks to fade. The faintest roar of rage is still heard in Dorcas’s brain. She’s just too slow, in the end, to save herself, although she doesn’t try. She’s not ready, but she is. She’s not happy, but she is. She knew there was only one way this could end. The one incapable of love striking down the one composed entirely of it is the only end that makes sense in a world at war - in a world in which war stories are not one of morals. War stories are made of absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil. It just takes her years to realize. Years to reconcile. Being soft does not make her immune to this. Being alive doesn’t. She is happy, but it is not a happy ending. No - it’s a very sad beginning.

Yugioh S1 Ep 46: Creating All of Your Own Problems

This season is almost over, but I guess the showmakers had one last thing to bring in last second--one last character--one last toy product that hits the shelves. But, the big problem I can see they had to work around was how do you introduce a character who has nothing to do with this season? Just plop him on at the end in his own self-contained arc, I guess.

So we begin by running into Yugi at home/store he lives in, where Grandpa’s sweeping the stoop although shouldn’t he be inside running the shop? Maybe he’s just keeping an eye on Yugi, making sure he doesn’t run off to an island again. Maybe Tea and Grandpa have an arrangement that Yugi doesn’t get to go anywhere by himself unsupervised because he keeps getting horribly distracted and risking his entire life every time he does. Maybe that’s why she meets him here at his house to walk to school instead of at school?

Grandpa didn’t even bring up getting his ass kicked by Kaiba because apparently Grandpa has had a new life threatening event every couple of months for just his entire life.

I feel like Grandpa runs the itty bitty bodega of game shops.

(read more under the cut)

Isn’t the entire point of a game shop to sell fads, what is he talking about? Like, even if you’re a game shop that sells handmade toys that have no lights or automated parts that’s...still a hippie fad thing. That’s still a fad. Maybe it’s just my capitalist mindset, but maybe Grandpa should stock some Nintendo?

But honestly, their family had nothing to worry about because look at this terrifying storefront.

No child with eyes would enter here.

Kinda surprised her threatening him with homework was actually in the show, because her telling him that he’d have to do her homework for a week sounds like more of a punishment for her than the other way around. Like, may as well have a cat with a pen tied to their tail do your homework.

So this pirate here owns the shop and goes by the name Duke Devlin. He’s got a lot of stuff on his face. Kinda looks like he wants to go full Nomura but hasn’t discovered belts yet.

I’m not sure how his headband works, as some of the hair is under the headband and going into his face (thus ruining the point of a headband) and the rest is going over the headband and into his face (thus ruining the point of a ponytail). There’s a lot going on here, and I...I just don’t know exactly how this hair anatomy works.

This weird line on his face disappears and reappears constantly throughout the show. Man this show and it’s love of eyeliner. The eyeliner that few women wear outside of like...Mai. I’ve never seen such devotion to guyliner in my life.

Anyways, then they had the biggest twist so far in all of Yugioh.

Her eyes will cost as much as an entire house by the time she gets this surgery. Anyways, across the hall and in the other room, Duke is showing off his weird dice tricks to a bunch of girls who have extremely low standards. Because when I was in school, the boys fidgeting with dice and cubes and lighters or whatever were actually pretty damn annoying.

Also dice were illegal at my school but my school had a huge gambling problem since like Elementary school, starting at when Pogs were outlawed. Pogs. I was in like 2nd grade, with my fistful of holographic Garfield Pogs and my teachers were like “absolutely not, those Pogs will send you straight to drugs” and I was very, very confused.

Duke, overhearing Joey talk big about his incredible dueling skills, sees an opportunity to get Yugi to fight him. I guess he assumed that Yugi wouldn’t duel him for any other reason, although I’m pretty sure he could have been all “want to duel sometime?” and Yugi would have answered “ABSOLUTELY, LETS GO TO THE ROOF AT MIDNIGHT, SHIRTLESS, DURING A THUNDERSTORM.”

(the liner got shy here, but came back later)

And like he goes off about this dice but does he actually duel with dice this episode? If he did, I did not catch it as I was scrubbing through the duels. I’m pretty sure he didn’t. Not totally positive.

But bro mentioned that Duke was the mascot for a game that exists IRL that they were trying to sell--and I looked it up, it’s called Dungeon Dice Monsters and it looks so freakin complicated and unfun. Apparently it did not sell well, although they planned all these characters and expansions for it. Also, weirdly it came out in 1996 which means this guy is from Season Zero so...I guess I’ll be watching that later.

Nowadays these pieces of this failed game with 10000 pieces sells for a pretty penny on Ebay, but youknow that’s assuming anyone on Ebay is buying?

But, if you have table top simulator on Steam, some saint has added this game as a mod so you can like...play it for the price of table top simulator instead of spending like 800 dollars. That’s nice. I’m not going to play it myself, but that’s nice.

It was also converted into a complicated GBA game, which is probably more of the reason that he’s in this version of the show--since GBA was around the same time as Yugioh, although I could be wrong.

But, back to the show, Duke decides to do some magic because he has no idea who he goes to school with. This was extremely dangerous and stupid and he didn’t even know.

And Yugi just complete loses his mind for like a few seconds. Which makes you think great, everyone in this room is going to die, because this is Yugioh, and that is a thing that can surely happen. But then...

I feel like this is the point where most people would have been like “eff this” and just turned around, since both Yugi and Joey were in an actual tourney and shouldn’t waste their time but Joey really hates this guy for no reason other than being popular. Joey just has so much rage for people he’s never met before--like really, he’s absolutely terrible at making friends which blows my mind since his best friend is the friendliest person who exists in this show.

So I’m throwing the word draft out there because that’s something card people are familiar with but for those that don’t know, drafts are pretty normal. It’s a randomized deck, so there is the possibility you can get super screwed over in a draft. You can get a whole bunch of like whatever the Yugioh version of that Goldfish from Pokemon is and well, that’s just your deck now. You don’t put a lot of high risk stakes on drafts. They’re just for kicks.

But Joey thinks he’s immortal because he survived that island, so like sure, why not? Lets get rid of the only deck advantage we have and trust this guy, who has done nothing but trick people since we walked into the room.

Damn, Joey! That escalated quickly!

Then, a reallllly weird thing happens that made me super uncomfortable--Yugi changed his clothes. I don’t like this palate swap.

This whole time. That whole time on the island--he had normal clothes.

ooof I owned this outfit in middle school. Exactly this outfit. I had a phase--I call it “gray goth” where I got helllllla emo and only wore gray and jeans for 2 years. The 00′s were a time. We were all very chilly and needed at least two insufficient layers on at all times.

So they draft, but they do it wrong. I mean I guess there’s no “wrong” way but the way I’ve seen it, you selectively make your deck from the cards on the table you don’t just shove every card in there without a strategy. This whole duel is just kinda weird. Not like I really talk about cards at all on here but like...this seems like just the worst way to play draft.

So, because there’s absolutely no way you can possibly have a good time playing this version of the game, Joey struggles.

And then we get a celebrity cameo.

I will never catch another one. I was a one console family and we chose Nintendo. But, I do know my Gradius because this game was on every console ever made and basically resold over and over again up until Konami became a pachinko company.

And so we have a return to dog outfit. Because Joey can’t get away from this weird type of torture. Did Duke Devlin get a tip from Kaiba about Things Joey Wheeler Hates or did two completely different bullies come up with this dog obsession all on their own?

Why is Joey being destroyed by dice? Joey beat up like 12 people in a warehouse once. Anyway, Duke decides to throw dice at Joey and humiliate him into goading Pharaoh into a duel. Again, why would it take this much to goad on Yugi? He freakin loves dueling.

And so, in order to save Joey’s dignity, Pharaoh shows up and is pissed. Back on the island there was like life and death reasons to be pissed--just a while ago, Pharaoh saw Joey and Mai die in front of him and got rightfully upset, but apparently Joey dressing like a dog is like equal in terms of getting this guy super indignant.

Like I’m not sure if Pharaoh realizes that this dog servitude is only as long as it takes for Duke to get bored, which will be about five minutes. Or maybe Pharaoh slept through the fact that Joey brought this on himself entirely by himself and ignored every single time his friends were like “Joey please walk away it’s not worth it.” But like consequences shmonsequences.

This could solve so many of Yugi’s problems if he’d just lose this game. I just feel like carrying around this title doesn’t really do much for your income and yet everyone keeps trying to duel you all the time when honestly, should have probably been just attending class.

Tristan and Tea seem to realize that uh, Pharaoh freaking the hell out is the last thing they need on national TV but I mean, Joey’s a dog so he’s gotta do it. Pharaoh can’t really step down from a fight, no matter how stupid it is, and maybe that’s where Joey got it from.

Or Pharaoh could have just covered Joey this week and caught all of those dice. After a while even Duke Devlin would run out of dice. And it’s not like it said anywhere everyone else can’t beat Duke up because Duke has lost his mind. I just really feel like they should have a way out of this that isn’t boys being proud boys and gambling your dignity left and right but whatever. We gotta sell toys.

Anyway, next week, on Yugioh

Will I even have content to cover? Will Joey have to wear two dog suits --a dog within a dog-- as punishment? Will they just give up and kick this guy’s ass on national TV?

Some Notes On Ride

As some regular readers might remember, at one point this whole recording project was known as Triptych. As I've said and written before elsewhere, the idea was to record three albums, forming the sonic version of a medieval triptych: three "panels," one story. The story would be the cycle of the seasons, literally but also metaphorically. There would be a folksy, acoustic album with a sort of spring/summer feel, a jammy, electric album with a sort of summer/fall feel, and then a darker, "winter" album to close things out. The cycle, of course, would move through birth, growth, death, and then rebirth: in nature, in individuals, in relationships, in the trajectory of human society. You know, relatively unambitious stuff. This sort of ended up happening, but got a little muddled along the way as I wrote more songs than I'd planned and struggled with the idea of leaving songs I liked unrecorded for the sake of some loose concept-album plan. In the end, I ditched Triptych and recorded everything I wanted to record instead, ending up with four albums instead of three. Wilderness Amen stuck around as the first album of the cycle, as I wrote a bit about in the notes for that album already. But, early on, Ride was part of the triptych's middle album, a double-LP called Maps. The first half of Maps was going to be electric, with generally big-picture, abstract lyrics, while the second half was going to be more acoustic, more reflective, and more autobiographical. Both halves of the album would feature songs that were more structurally complex and had more layers (overdubs, harmonies, etc.) than my recordings had previously had. If you've listened to both, you can probably guess that the double album got split into two albums and ended up being Ride and Maps, respectively. The writing and recording of these albums coincided with my recent fall into obsession with the Grateful Dead's songbook, and that influence, as well as the influences of bands I'd already listened to for years like Phish, Trey Anastasio Band, and Chris Robinson Brotherhood show most obviously in this album, I think. "Ride" starts the album with an opening riff and later overlapping guitars, "The Melody," one of my oldest songs, has a new, muted jam section that is one of my favorite things I've ever recorded, "Sometimes" has a pop sensibility to it right up until it takes a very Phish-y left turn at the outro, "Bright Girl" has an acoustic-vs-electric guitar duel near the end, and "Electric Dream" and "Invocation" both build up energy to a crescendo via guitar jams. I'm not as good at composing these kinds of guitar parts as I'd like to be, yet, but this whole project, and Ride in particular, helped me take the first few steps down that road. "I Love You (Or The Mountains)" and "Ways To Fly" stick out to me as slightly weird fits for this album, but they fit here better than elsewhere and I didn't want to leave them behind. "I Love You" was a song I wrote shortly after "Running," on an afternoon when I had a hankering to write a song that had some of the lowest and highest notes I could sing in it. I ended up with something that reminds me in a weird way of Michael Stipe's vocals, and then figuring out how to record the bridge of the song with a sort of Beatlesesque vibe finally brought the whole thing together for me. "Ways" is a much older song that has just never made it on an album, partially because depending on the day, the lyrics either hit hard for me or feel a bit trite or sophomoric. So, after singing this song a certain way for ten years or so, I rewrote about half of the lyrics during the Triptych sessions to be something I felt less ambivalent about, and it was the exact change the song needed. How you hear it now is, I think, how it was always supposed to sound. I just finally stumbled on the right words. So, the most fun part of writing the notes for Wilderness Amen was the random trivia section. So let's do that again! The subtitle of "Ride (Charley)" is another tribute to my dog, Charley, who passed away during these sessions. He was

actually laying on the floor in the studio on the day I recorded the demo of this song, when I was still trying to decide the name of the song's protagonist. He was such a good and quiet dog that I was able to record the whole demo with him in the room. Ride, Charley, ride. Once, while performing "The Melody" live, I mis-sung the line as "I woke from a dream to the sound of the melody / In a house full of dust, with a mouthful of cats" and it took me at least a minute to stop laughing hysterically and start the song over. I still worry every time I play it that I'll sing it backwards again. "Sometimes" was the result of my attempt to write a catchy, "disposable" pop song. It's as hard as they say! It was intentionally based on the outro chords to Phish's "Harry Hood," because of course it is. "Bright Girl" is a little hamfisted, maybe, but I wanted to write a song that was about wanting to fall in love outside of the usual hyper-gendered, codependent, typically toxic model of "love" that movies and music present us with. It's hard to think outside of those ideas when you've lived with them in your face your whole life, but I'll do a better job next time. "Ways To Fly" is a song about trying to find a way out of depression without taking advantage of others emotionally, and without hating yourself for being depressed. It's hard to do; fortunately, writing a song about it is super-easy. If you don't recognize the title of "Oread," you should read some of H.D.'s poetry. It's really good. And this pointed-pine-themed instrumental made a great segue into "Jeff Tweedy's 49th Electric Dream," which is a reference to Wilco's song "Bob Dylan's 49th Beard" and also to the fact that this song is basically the same chord progression as Wilco's "Handshake Drugs." Like "Bright Girl," this song seemed a little...unsubtle to me at first. Then, during COVID, my grandpa died and I had to watch his funeral over Facebook because I couldn't travel. It's as bad as the song makes it sound. How do we live lives with meaning when reality has become virtual? "Emerald Downs" is the name of the apartment complex I lived in for most of my 20s. I explained "Invocation" to a friend in an email this morning like this: "The original idea of "Mother Roads" as a sort of highway deity or demigod came about through a half-serious/half-joking conversation ["Neal" and I] had years and years ago while trying to drive from the Pacific coast to Ohio without paying to sleep anywhere (partially for the fun of it, but partially because at the time we had a combined $200 or so beyond gas money to our names). I think we were somewhere in Montana at the time, and I vaguely remember a campfire, and maybe a lake (?), but ["Neal"] had built this weird little pagan effigy and burnt it in the fire as a "sacrifice" to "Mother Roads" to guarantee our safety. It felt a little hokey, years later, to insert that character/spirit into a song in the form of a prayer, but once I sung it a few times, it felt right, so I left it that way."