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wowifinallywatched · 4 months

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Listen...this is not my official more coherent thoughts around the Jigsaw installment of the fucking incredible Saw franchise that i normally like to post first but if you've ever wondered what it's like to watch a movie with me and my internal monologue well LOOK NO FURTHER

Coherent thoughts will be coming soon, but for now enjoy a raw reaction to whatever the FUCK THIS WAS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING AND I AKSBFKABF I JUST NEED TO SHARE THIS FEELING WITH SOMEONE HOLY FUCK-

JIGSAW

Listen if you're gonna be bringing this iconic and amazing as fuck series back it better be Fucking at the same level

Ah yes your standard creepy detective who makes sexist jokes like they get paid for it and no one does anything about it because “it's just who they are” and it's one of the bad qualities you have to adopt in about this person uh yeah no FUCK THA-

Okay I'm sorry I'm fucking sorry 39:33??!?!?!?!?!? FUCKING GOLD BEAUTIFUL STUNNING THAT WAS EVERYTHING IVE WANTED LISTEN I KNOW TRUST THE PROCESS OF THESE MOVIES DONT JUDGE TOO SOON BUT FUCK ME THAT WAS GOOD AND I WAS STILL TEETERING Listen I miss John okay-

WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN IS HE GONNA COME BACK FROM THE DEAD OR IS THIS REALLY SMART AJBRIAHE Fucking skin suit or secret child ass akdbia

Eleanor DYING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Like i can judge this would totally be me as well BEAUTIFUL??? OKAY BITCH NOW I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY

OH MY GOD SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK POISENED YOUR SIPPY CUP BAG MOTHERFUCKER I AM LOSING MY SHIT NOT KNOWING IF JOHN REALLY IS ALIVE OR NOT FUChis

“He was my nephew” Oh my god he was his nephew I'm sorry I had to-

BRKJZISHWJBEJAHSIWBWIHSIS MOTHERFUCKING SAW MY FUCKING GOD YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN WJDBQJ PUTTING HIM IN JOHNS CASKET HAHAHHA HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO THAT QUIETLY OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH THEY'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD AND JUST AJDBSIHDJW OBSESSED I CANNOT OH MY GOD I LOVE IT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES IN MY BRAIN IT WAS EITHER GONNA BE TWO OPTIONS, JOHN WAS GONNA BE THERE OR HE WASN'T BUT JUST IN SAW STYLE, A SURPRISE THIRD OPTION HAS APPEARED HAHAHAH Its like when you watch these movies, you're thinking so hard about one part of it (where the fuck is John) that you become completely oblivious to other options (surprise Mr. Coma has appeared) ALSO I WORK IN THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY AND THERE IS STRICT LAW THAT YOU CANNOT OPEN UP A COFFIN INSIDE THE CEMETERY SO H A

I'm trying to bring logic into these movies when I just watched a man get turned into a human milkshake

But this also means that someone could have taken John's body and has been using his DNA But would the tests come back saying the DNA is dead or alive? Like someone purposely put his DNA under the guys nails to throw them off who's really playing these games I wonder if it's the OG Dr. saw bathroom who's running the show If John really is alive that would be fucking perfect This psycho mortuary girl better not have dug up John himself to fulfill her obsession I SWEAR- OH MY GOD SHE HAS THE OG SAW STOPPPP HAHAHAHAH Wait wait NO NO NO THIS IS A SET UP I SWEAR OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVE

everyone's like “oh copy cats copy cats” but it's actually the fucking detectives that study these cases of jigsaw everyone calm your tips MY TITS ARE NOT CALM WHERE IS THE DAUGHTER NO IM NOT FUCKING AROUND WHERE IS HIS DAUGHTER I SWEAR

Oh my god I hear remnants of the saw music as they drive off from the house 🥺 LITTLE PIGGY IS STILL IN PLAY LES GOOOO Everytime I see VAIDUWOFJKSHEIEHDIJWKDNWKJFKSBEKNWKDJEKDBOSBRKANJDHSID JOHN JOHN SOBDJSBDIAHDIHA I JUST CHOKED ON MY CEREAL OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN MY JIGGY SAWWY MAN IM GONNA CRY HOLY FUCK IVE MISSED YOU NSKFBSJS HOW THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE IN A FUCKING MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK NO I DO NOT TRUST WHAT I SEE ARE YOU A TWIN BROTHER OR SOME SHIT I AM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THEY REPLACE YOUR BODY BUT THE TEST SUBJECTS WOULD HAVE COME BACK IS THIS A HALLUCINATION HOLY SHIT I AM ABOUT TO BREAK THIS FUCKING TABLE HOLY FUCKING SHIT My boy you look like you've aged so much Oh my god that misdiagnosis hit way too close to home alright I am John number one protector BUT HOW THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE BECAUSE THE TUMOUR AND THE SKABKFJA John baby listen i love you so much and I love the game you've got going on and you give the best monologue but HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE

Listen surely those jigsaw pieces are a set up because surely not even the most dumbass of cops would keep that in their fucking FREEZER HAHAHAH

I am absolutely fucked I trust none of you bitches except daddy mortuary

AWWWWWWWWW MEANING BEHIND THE PIG HEAD MENTIONED SO CASUALLY THAT IS SO CUTE JOHN

John is so fucking extra he has all these props and then uses a single shotgun

This is more trying to pick who Johns new apprentice is and i don't like any of them

GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WEAR BOOT HEELS TO THIS SCAVENGER HUNT

Listen John sliding the door to people's eternal doom just hits different okay

BACKWARDS OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN YOU ARE SO SMART It’s literally been the EXACT SAME ALL THESE YEARS PLAY BY THE RULES HE NEVER SAID YOU HAD TO SHOOT EACH OTHER FOR YOUR FREEDOM THAT WAS NOT A RULE HE SET IN PLACE HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS AND I WAS CLAIMING HE WAS USING A SIMPLE ASS SHOTGUN OF COURSE IT WASN'T JUST A SHOTGUN I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS

DADDY MORTUARY WAS THE DOCTOR THAT FUCKED UP HIS TEST RESULTS OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ABSOLUTE LAZY DICKWAD OF A MAN YOU ARE DOOMED HAHAH

Wait what the fuck this is sus whats happening ABDKJSJEBWJDHIWVDJHS I THOUGHT HIS BODY WAS JUST ROLLING AT FIRST WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NO NO WAY DADDY MORTUARY IS JOHNS NEW APPRENTICE DETECTIVE YOU AND ME ARE THE SAME WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM HIM NO YOU WERE THE ONE I TRUSTED NO FUCKING WAY THE ONLY ONE I TRUSTED TURNED OUT TO BE THE MAN BEHIND IT ALL HAHAHAHAH FUCK WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN FUYCJA FUCKABAFSIABKFJBKAF HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS HOLY FUCK LISTEN I STARTED TO DOUBT THIS ONE THEN I TOLD MYSELF DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE NOT AS GOOD AS THE PREVIOUS ONE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T REACHED THAT CLIMATIC PLOT TWIST THAT PULLS ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER AND THEN YOU REACH IT AND YOU THINK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FUCKING PAST AND PRESENT PLAY THAT THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD AT

OH MY GOD I GOT SO EXCITED THINKING MY BABY JIGGY SAWWY MAN WAS ALIVE BUT NOPE IT WAS JUST THE PAST GAMES SOBS AND IT’S SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW IF YOU REWATCHED THIS MOVIE YOU’D SEE ALL THE SIGNS POINTING TO THE TRUTH You just have to follow the rules You just have to follow the signs pointed in the direction of the movie plot OH FUCK ME MOVIE GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH YOUR CLEVER WAYS Think about it if you really listened to this movie, it’s literally telling you exactly what’s going to take place Oh fuck me HAHAHAHAH I NEED TO REWATCH ALL THESE MOVIES NOW WITH THAT MINDSET THIS HAS MIND FUCKED ME I CAN’T BELIEVE IT THE FACT WE WERE WATCHING THE OG GAME WITH THE DADDY MORTUARY BUT SIKE IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO

Not gonna lie Daddy Mortuary was kind of hot Jesus I need to learn his real name I'm sure someone said it I was just blinded by his good looks-

I AM LOSING MY MARBLES I LITERALLY CONTINUE DO ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW HAHAHA LIKE HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT MOMENT WHEN HE STARTED GETTING UP LOST IT GAVE ME FEELINGS BACK TO THE FIRST SAW MOVIE WHERE JOHN SLOWLY GOT UP AND REVEALED HIMSELF Oh my god Daddy Mortuary was the son John never got to have *GROSS SOBBING IN THE CORNER*

AND SLIDING THE DOOR SHUT JUST LIKE JOHN LIKE JIGGY SAWY FATHER LIKE JIGGY SAWY SON SO THIS GAME HAPPENED FUCKING YONKS AND WOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED BEFORE AMANDA AND BEFORE WHATEVER THE FUCK DETECTIVE FACE WAS I ALREADY DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME I just can't I can't believe they still gave us John Kramer content while he's still fucking dead that was so fucking clever You can't have a saw movie without the original Jigsaw in it and they fucking keep it alive in a smart way, not forced, but smart WAIT DADDY MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY I GET IT THE GAMES HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO AND SUCH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY DID HE MOVE A WHOLE ASS CASKET AND REPLACE HIS CASKET WITH ANOTHER actually he works in a mortuary he would have the skills to do that HAHAHAHAH FUCKKKKKKK Listen this movie literally gave us John content, fucking ecstatic about it, then showed it was past John and that he's not really here right now

BUT THEY LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR JOHN TO STILL BE ALIVE BY HIM NOT BEING IN THAT CASKET AND I KNOW ITS PROBABLY MORE A “They just put the body elsewhere/ replaced his casket” BUT LISTEN LET ME HAVE THIS SMALL OUNCE OF HOPE OKAY

ALSO DID I FUCKING CALL IT OR DID I FUCKING CALL IT ABOUT PUTTING JOHNS DNA UNDER HIS NAILS ON PURPOSE FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT BITCH AND IM REALLY PROUD BECAUSE I CAN NEVER DO THAT WITH THESE MOVIES FUCK YES GO TEAM 1 FOR US 16 MILLION FOR THE MOVIE OKAY LET ME HAVE THIS ONE- Not me going on about how old John looks and it's literally exactly how he looks in all the other movies HAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD IN THAT SCENE WITH JOHNS NEIGHBOUR AND LEG-O-LOSS I THOUGHT NEIGHBOUR WAS IN SHOCK (of course we find out because she was his neighbor) BECAUSE JOHN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NEIGHBOURS NO ONE EVER BATTED AN EYE OR SAID BUT JIGSAW IS DEAD BUT JOHN KRAMER IS DEAD OH MY GODDDDD ANOTHER FUCKING SIGN TO JUST PAY ATTENTION TO THAT'S BEING SAID AND IT WAS REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE TO YOU

Just oh my God okay I need to lay this out Daddy Mortuary- Okay no let me find his real name Also poor fucking Eleanor she really was just a Saw fanatic and now she's wrapped up in something she doesn't even realise IF ONLY SHE KNEW BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE LOVING HER OWN STORY RIGHT NOW LOGAN HIS NAME IS LOGAN Alright so Logan fucked up John's test results by mislabelling (the poor other fucking dude that got those results) which i feel like was a bit of an add on instead of reveal WAIT BUT IF THIS GAME HAPPENED BEFORE THE OTHER GAMES IN THE OTHER MOVIES Oh my fuck then he would have no reason to mention it in any of his past monologues because he already faced the man that did it and seeked his ‘revenge’ OH MY GOD OKAY REDEEMED THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BUT HE'S BEEN REDEEMED CARRY ON So John sets up one of his classic games, with the machine that was “never used” or they never found the bodies for OH MY GOD LOGAN GAVE HER THE ANSWER. LITERALLY JUST TOLD HER. BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW. HE WAS APART OF THAT GAME. HE WOULD HAVE RECOGNISED THE MACHINE STRAIGHT AWAY. HE LITERALLY TOLD HER BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULD NEVER SUSPECT IT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ACCUSATION HAHAHAH SHITTTTT I keep trying to write this out calmly and then get really Hyped up forgive me- The game begins with everyone having their sins AND YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS SO WEIRD THE GAME STARTED WITH SOMEONE STILL UNCONSCIOUS, IT FELT VERY UNLIKE JOHN BECAUSE HE'S ALL ABOUT HAVING A FAIR CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF and when we finally got to see the result of that scene where John is racing out to save him because it was an unfair start and he wanted to personally give him a second chance IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING- I wonder how far apart these events were to the previous movie

ANYWAY

My brain isn’t working i literally can't stop thinking about John being a protective father to him John takes him under his wing seeing his pain, seeing his grief and to teach him its not about anger AND LOGAN TEACHING JOHN SOME THINGS TOO SOBS listen, John is the most forgiving person IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 8 MOVIES TO SAY OTHERWISE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN- HE GIVES THEM A CHANCE TO CONFESS AND THEN BE FREE HE'S ONLY PUNISHING THEM BECAUSE THEY WON'T CONFESS THEMSELVES NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAD Oh my god i really am protecting a serial killer BUT HEY IT'S FICTIONAL And it is fucking wild to me that no one ever found these bodies (JUST LIKE MY BOY ADAM SOBS) and so Logan planned and waited until the perfect moment to fuck with the world Except there's one thing different from John to the other people that have tried to take his place John gives them a fair game, just play by the rules Amanda, Detective Douche, Logan - They all seemed revenge. They gave them a game, but it wasn't always fair, it wasn't always a game that could be won. Oh wait but Detective banana peel ass didn't exactly confess to freeing Logans wife's murderer so he didn't play the game right OKAY THAT WOULD BE VALID THEN It's just crazy to me that a game happened in real time and we technically got to see exactly what it would have looked like but we never saw the actual game

AND OF COURSE LOGAN CHOSE A GUY THAT DOOMED HIS WIFE'S DEATH AS THE GUY TO GET NO CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION TO REPLICATE HIS OWN EXPERIENCE HAHAHAH LOVE THAT

This was so fucking clever and i never want to stop talking about these movies oh my god

BUT OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVES FUCKING HEAD GETTING SPLICED LIKE A FUCKING BANANA PEEL I CANT- THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL HORRIFYING AND DISGUSTING BUT SO FLUID AND BEAUTIFUL I cannot wait to watch the new movie and see the graphics All things considered theyve really done these movies justice all through the years Like I'm so fucking happy with the ending of this movie And I fucking adore that we got to see John again But I'm not gonna lie my heart is a little broken he's not actually alive and well- I KNOW WE LITERALLY SAW HIM GET AUTOPSIED wait Was Logan the one to do his autopsy I remember he mentioned something about John being full autopsied but I don't remember if he meant he did it himself WAIT ITS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME MORTUARY HAND TO DO THE SAW AUTOPSIES HASN'T IT OH MY FUCKING GOD SO HE KNEW THE PLAN ALL ALONG HE FUCKING KNEW OH MY GOD I AM EMOTIONAL-

Now I need to go back and watch the other movies again, for many reasons, but to see if it was Logan all along

I JUST READ MY NOTES WHILE WATCHING PREVIOUS SAW MOVIES AND I MADE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW SUS IT IS THAT THERE’S BEEN ONE CONSISTENT MORTUARY HAND LOOKING AFTER THE SAW VICTIMS HAHAHAH CALLED IT (possibly)

God I don’t drink but right now I feel like I need a drink

ONTO THE NEXT ONE WHERE YOU REALLY CAN’T PREDICT WHAT WE’LL EVER GET AKSBFKBF

#I didn't realise how comforting and how much I love John until I got him back only for him to be ripped away again #fuck these saw movies boggle me and I'm obsessed with it #jigsaw #jigsaw apprentices #saw memes #just saw thoughts #saw franchise #sawposting #saw films #just saw things #saw movies #billy the puppet #john kramer #logan nelson

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hulijingemperor2 · 2 months

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Qin Su: these are such lovely paintings of us, Yao Huangdi.

Yao: definitely. They have captured Huanghou perfectly.

Qin Su: *smiles* what about you?

Anyways, who could ever capture all your beauty.

Yao: oh darling, don't flatter me. *opens fan and extended his hand for her to hold.

Qin Su: such a Huangdi, heehee. *holds hand*

Yao: hmm. So where shall we go?

Qin Su: anywhere..

Yao: ooo, anywhere?

Qin su: how about we check up on team dimple. They must be dying to see you.

Yao: I think they're stalking me right now. Around the corner.

Qin Su: oh my goodness.

Yao: ah, team dimple things.

Qin Su: *pokes* Huangdi.

I'm so embarrassed to ask you this. Forgive me.

Yao: haha, why are you embarrassed?

Qin Su: because it's shameless.

Yao: pfft.....not for my wife.

Qin su: *blushing* tonight.....

Yao: tonight??

Qin Su: can we spend some imtimite time.

Yao: of course. Why do you have to ask?

Qin su: yea Huangdi, but I want to see your savage side. You look really hot.

Team dimple had experienced it. *pouts*

Yao: *laughing daintily* what savage side, A-Su?

Team dimple: *peeping out*

Xue yang: come on Jiggylicious. When you are a smoking hot hulijing.

Su she: with the magnificent glowing eyes, like the sun. And that majestic posture. Looking like a god.

Mo xuanyu: a well sculpted hulijing god. Enslaving team dimple with the flick of your wrist.

Qin Su: see what i mean.

Yao: told you that team d were eavesdropping on us.

Su she: we could never, huangdi. We were just observing.

Yao: hmmm.

Qin Su: Yao Huangdi!

Yao: ahahaha, well if you wish.

But I don't take advantage of women, so I won't be rough.

Qin Su: I know my Huangdi is delicate as a flower.

*blushing*

Yao: I'll have you as my queen while team dimple belly dances for us.

Team dimple: *wiping their nosebleed*

Su she: you...want....us....to...belly dance? *turning red*

Mo xuanyu: ahhhhhhh, Yao gege! *blush* Yao gege that's my dream come true.

Xue yang: of course, Jiggy. My master.

Yao: lovely. Would you like that?

Qin su: sounds perfect.

Yao: *opens fan again* let's go feed the koi darling.

Team d, wipe up your nosebleed and come with us.

Team dimple: *speaking gibberish*

Xue yang: you're so hot.

Su she: mo xuanyu, he said to wipe your nosebleed!

Mo xuanyu: wipe yours first!

Su she: *wipes*

Mo xuanyu: *does the same* Yao gege is so drunkening

Xue yang: Jiggy can I just lick your dimples once?!

Yao: soon.

Xue yang: oh my goodness.

Su she: Huangdi, I will forever please you.

Yao: I know dear.

Su she: *kisses his hand*

Yao: team d. I was showing A-Su our imperial portrait I have commissioned.

It came out so lovely.

Su she: you both are more gorgeous in real life.

Xue yang: like too gorgeous.

Mo xuanyu: it should be illegal to be so hot.

Yao: Huangdi is above the law.

Su she: gosh that's right.

Yao: aw team dimple!! I plan on putting the portrait up in the imperial hall.

Su she: as you wish, Huangdi.

~~~

That night, A-Yao was reclining while drinking one of the most expensive wines in his empire. His eyes were glowing gold and his hulijing features were out. Attendants stood by grooming his nine tails.

Meng Yao Huangdi is already very gorgeous, but as a full hulijing, he looks more hot~ like a work of art.

Afterwards, Qin Su entered~ also with her floof out. Unfortunately for her, she only has one tail, yet she's still beautiful.

Now we know why Rusong is so good-looking. As he has both Meng and Qin genes.

Qin Su: *mesmerized by A-Yao, whose gaze was fixated on his cup.

She bows politely.*

Attendants: greetin~

Qin Su: *puts her finger on her lips, for them to stay quiet.

Then she dismisses them*

Huangdi, should we leave?

Yao: *smiling* certainly. But hang around.

Yes Huangdi. Sorry for ruining the surprise.

Yao: I knew Huanghou arrived already.

*lifted gaze*

Qin Su: how? *blushing*

Greetings Yao huangdi.

Yao: hello dear. I got an instinct when you entered quietly.

Qin Su: walks behind his couch and rested her floof on his shoulder.

Yao: *caresses it lovingly, until she pulls it away*

Qin Su: you forgot that I'm a hulijing too.

Yao: never.

Qin Su: mmm, good to know.

Is there a day when you don't look sexy and powerful? *kneels by his side*

Yao: *sips wine* *chuckles daintily* I doubt.

Qin Su: all the beauty of the Jianghu comes for you, surely.

Yao: that's when you run it, darling.

Qin su: I see.

Now my Huangdi lord is drinking wine?

Yao: yes. It's made from rare flowers. Also it doesn't have a harsh taste and aroma, hence my breath will smell of flowers instead of alcohol.

Qin Su: quite smart.

Yao: mn. Now tell me why. *lifts chin* why is my Huanghou kneeling?

Qin Su: before Huangdi. The lord of all hulijings, Kitsunes, Gumihos and the Jianghu.

Yao: *sits up and raises her* sit next to me. *kisses hands* that's where you belong.

Qin Su: *turning red* Huangdi!

Yao: what's mine is yours. Darling, have some wine.

*pours*

Qin Su: *sips* ah, so delicious. Yao huangdi always have the nicest things.

Yao: fit for us, and our status.

Qin Su: you're right.

Yao: *puts her in his arms*

Qin Su: *smiling* Huangdi I really do miss everything. And I'm happy I'm with you again.

Yao: *joking* you missed spending my money?

Qin Su: no! Maybe yes.

Yao Huangdi, I miss you mostly.

I don't care about wealth. You'll always be majestic.

Yao: aww A-Su.

Qin Su: remember when we first met. You weren't even in the Jin sect yet.

Yao: how could I forget.

Qin Su: you were so confusing.

Yao: haha, confusing? How was I confusing?

Qin Su: firstly, when you saved me from being kidnapped by Wen Chao, I thought that you were a rouge cultivator or a mortal. You weren't affiliated with any of the five great clans, and neither the minor ones.

I don't know how would I make out as that evil man's concubine. It still disgusts me.

Do you see how he disrespected Wang Lingjiao.

Yao: yes, I'm glad you were safe. I know how it is when a woman is taken advantage of.

It leaves scars on their soul as well.

Qin Su: that's when I fell for you. I couldn't forget your face. And those dimples!

*sigh* I was head over heels.

You were truly a hero, saving me, especially without him noticing who you are.

Then bam! I saw you as a Nie.

Yao: yea, I became a Nie right after leaving Yunping.

I was Nie Mingjue's right hand man.

Qin Su: ah, so I have heard.

Once again you confused me by changing clans. As you became a Wen now.

How could you be a Wen? Wens and Nies are enemies.

Now that's the second time you saved me from almost getting stabbed.

Yao: as a spy I earned the trust of Wen Ruohan, hence I got power too.

They held you at ransom, and wished to stab you, but I saved you and executed them instead.

Afterwards I told Wen Ruohan that they were doing a move that would cause the destruction of his sect. Politically.

Qin Su: that's when I fell deeply in love.

Huangdi you're too genius for them!

Yao: same. I fancied you a lot.

Qin Su: I wanted to marry you and only you! And when I found out your name. I walked up to my parents and told them, I want to marry Meng Yao, who later became Jin guangyao.

A-niang was elated, but A-Die refused.

Because they know that you're the young hulijing Huangdi. A-niang, being a hulijing herself was glad that I had royal tastes. And I was already rich and well mannered. Perfect for the Huangdi.

Then A-Die was worrying about me being a concubine or an ill fated empress.

As A-niang told her about taihou running for her life, and hiding in a brothel. Afterwards working as a prostitute to earn a living.

Qin Su: then I came of age to be married off. I was really sad, and no one really carried about my sadness.

A-Die went to Jinlintai to congratulate guangshan, despite hating him. As his "long lost son" has been accepted into the Jin sect.

And his name is Jin guangyao. Jin guangyao was the one I was going to marry.

I didn't want to marry him, or even see him. Not knowing that Meng Yao and Jin guangyao were the same person.

If I knew, I would have come to Jinlintai to meet him.

Yao: oh dear.

Qin Su: *nudges* you keep changing identities!

Yao: ahaha. Well it was necessary at the time, A-Su. *caresses face* you find it attractive?

Qin Su: too attractive!

Later on, I met this Jin guangyao, and I felt so delighted to fund out thar he was the same person!

Yao: gosh, remembered our private times?

Qin su: the best times of my life.

And you're so charming as well as regal.

Yao: and you are so pleasant and simple. You carry about yourself with poise.

Certainly I enjoyed our private time.

Qin su: *giggles* Huangdi. That's when I became pregnant with Rusong.

Yao: well.

Qin su: I was the happiest.

Marrying you and having your child.

Yao: Meng Yao's or Jin Guangyao's?

Qin Su: both! *laughing* you're something else, Huangdi.

Yao: *kisses* look at you know.

You're my Huanghou. *kisses*

Qin Su: and I'm very happy. *kisses*

Yao: *caresses her back and strokes her hair*

Qin Su: *doing the same* I want to be devoted to you forever!

Yao: I'll forever keep you close.

*lifts her up in his arms*

Qin Su: *buries her head in his chest*

Yao: *elegantly rests her on the bed and laid next to her, rubbing her face with love.

Qin su: you're a dream. *smiling*

Yao: I see.

Qin Su: Yao Huangdi. Hide those dimples.

Do you want to give Rusong and Jingyi another sibling?

Yao: *kisses her forehead* if fate allows.

Or if my empress allows.

Qin Su: aww.

*snuggles in his arms*

Yao: I believe that you need a little entertainment. *claps twice, then team dimple entered*

Xue yang: hey Jiggylicious.

Su she: how do we look?

Mo xuanyu: we'll start belly dancing.

Yao: ah go ahead. You look lovely.

Team dimple: *blushing, then started to blush.

Yao: absolutely lovely.

Qin Su: *grinning*

Yao: A-Su. I got a gift for you, as well as team dimple.

Qin Su: *blush* really, huangdi?

Yao: *goes, and comes back with a jewel box. Then adorned her hands with golden bracelets*

Qin Su: how exquisite!

Yao: I got you a few fans too, dear.

Qin Su: I love you, Huangdi. I mean, A-Yao.

Yao: *hugs* love you too.

A-Yao.

Mo xuanyu: you have gifts for us???

Yao: yes darlings.

For your beautiful dancing.

Come.

Team dimple: *walks forward, then kneels*

Yao: *gives Minshan one of his robes* for you shrine*

Su she: this is the most precious thing. Thank you so much, Huangdi. *hugs the robe*

Yao: *gives mo xuanyu two golden combs, all studded with gems.

Mo xuanyu: omg! Thank you, Yao gege! This is so pretty!

Yao: *gives xue yang some ruby jewelry, and a ruby studded dagger.*

Xue yang: what hot gifts you give me! *kisses his face* thanks Jiggy.

Mo xuanyu: *kisses*

Su she: *kisses his hand*

Yao: you're very welcome, team dimple.

I must give you guys gifts.

Qin Su: *kisses A-Yao*

#the huli jing emperor #foxyao #meng yao #dimpledlianfang #hulijing emperor 2 #jin guangyao #jin zixuan #part 2 #su she #the untamed

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x-heesy · 11 months

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Hell y Ass!

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh-oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

I run shit in this house

Like I was now or never

With no effort

I bet you I could change my name to Klaus

Or something mildly Flemish

Pick up a Saudi chemist

From an Orange County dentist

Ouch, I'm whistling, trading and eating

Now poetry readings at AA meetings

I text you pictures of my keister

I'm serving some dead bodies from a Middle-Eastern skirmish

Damn, I'm oh so scooty

A bro gropes boobies

Have sex with Snow White

At the gym, on pedal bikes

Replenishing electrolytes

Your honor

I dip my junk in the fondue

Told boring stories, show my blonde pubes

I'm from the church of Satan's archdiocese

So I fart fire pits and heart giant tits

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh-oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

I'm a prick

All of our inane dialogue

And my day's minutia gets micro-blogged

Ew, does it smell like Fido the dog?

In gray Pumas

I look like Sideshow Bob

Urinate in what the cod-fish swims in

Who was to think, I'm God's gift to women

Flirted with about 30 Asian chicks with herniated disks

Eating turkey bacon bits

Busdriver: Nigga?

Pillow Talk: Oh hey boo, how you be?

Busdriver: Oh, oh. I saw you at the Cannes Film Festival.

Pillow Talk: Nah that wasn't me. You didn't see me down there, nuh-uh baby.

Busdriver: Oh, yes.

Pillow Talk: You talkin' bout Cannes? You a con.

Busdriver: Tell me about it.

Pillow Talk: I saw you gettin' jiggy at Sundance with no pants on.

Busdriver: In Holland?

Pillow Talk: Mhmm.

Busdriver: Hmm, do tell. I bought those shoes also for 30 Euros at the Champs-Élysées.

Pillow Talk: Nigga, please. These shoes, this cummerbund? Oh step, hon. Oh and by the way, the pâté?

Busdriver: The pâté was fabulous!

Pillow Talk: Goose liver nigga.

Busdriver: Yes.

(Get 'em)

Oh, I know

You want my R&B hook

Oh, I know

Your brains are partially cooked

When this breaks this pillow under the gourmet kibble your solar plexus be in this trouble hence the dribble it's what's beats for

There it is, my friendship's like a health plan

I think all the multi-tiered colored telegram

The movie trailer leaked

Well I hope they get the plumber's putty

My script writing takes 3 Welsh understudies

I enjoy the convos of the water buffalo

Hoes stop and hold I'm rocks sold through the double O's

Y'all niggas too think I'm a hot date

With a Prop 8 slashed out on my ballot box

Salad tossed into a chocolate cake 'cause I'm so cute

My hoes they look at me and their water break

And babies pop out with one gold tooth

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh-oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

I never, never repeat it over, and over, and over again

I'm one of your pretentious friends

Pretentious friends

Pretentious friends @luna-zylum @boanerges20

Pretentious Friends by Modeselektor, BUSDRIVER

9 notes · View notes

neoyi · 1 year

Text

I'm finally playing Banjo Kazooie for the first time and while I've always been aware of its excuse plot for decades I'm still just like, really, Gruntilda? You're so insecure of your own looks that your direct competition is, like, a ten-year-old girl?

(Yes, yes, I know it's a story that's been around for centuries and BK using it back in '98 was a product of its time; one would assume if Gruntilda was pulling off some evil scheme today, she would have better goals to achieve.)

But man, it makes a lot of sense in retrospect why Rare eventually went bigger and bolder by stuffing Donkey Kong 64 with WAY too many shit to collect. You can definitely see the starting point of the platformer collect-a-thon codified by this game alone.

I feel like this image says it all:

Banjo's neutral face as he collects his 560th Jiggy, all whilst cradling a completely depressed and resigned Jinjo who's since accepted he's nothing but a collectable. And he's got, like, five more worlds left to explore.

Everyone is screaming inside.

It keeps bringing me back to this one quote from an old, but gold Banjo Kazooie newgrounds vid I watched ages back (https://newgrounds.com/portal/view/234288): "What about the other secret items I went into great extent to find? I got the Mystery Green Egg, the Crystal Jiggy, and the Payback DVD."

...Oh, right, I am having fun with the game, but I'm totally cheating and using the Switch's suspense save because I don't have the energy to recollect all the notes per world just because I had to save and quit so I could go and make dinner or something.

#banjo kazooie #neoyi talks

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shiinavanhellsing · 1 year

Text

Aight so boom, I'm doing a part two of the fan casting for the EBKs who are my OCS for Bleach TYBW from a fanfic called PSA. I already did the fan casting for the men and now onto the women!

First off we're gonna start with EBK Azure aka Little Miss “Oh that was your nigga in my DMS?! Lemme go hit him up real quick” aka Little Miss “Bad Bitch I Can Be Your Fantasy” aka Little Miss “Was that your nigga, oh he ate my ass what a bummer” herself aka Little Miss “she a baddie she know she a ten”:

For some reason I was torn between having Ashley Burgos and Kaylar Will as Azure's face claim but what made me choose Ashley was because of the fact that she fits the whole persona of I may look gorgeous but I'll still fuck you up.

Fun fact: Azure is part of the deities and is also a alchemist who's training amongst Uryu Ishida.

•She's reincarnated from the Egyptian air god Shu but yet despite him being a very peaceful deity, she's very well known for being a very violent air warrior.

•Literally had Shuhei feenin for her ass soon as he saw her dancing onstage from the nosebleeds.

•Azure is known for being the calm crazy out of the core four, she's the least temperamental of the EBKs but she's the exact definition of fuck around and find out.

Next up is EBK Nuria aka Little Miss “I shake a luh ass but I still get jiggy�� aka Little Miss “I'm too sexy for your bro” aka Little Miss “all the boys want my honey from me” aka Little Miss “pussy put a spell on him he in a trance”:

I was scrolling on my Pinterest feed and I randomly saw Karin Jinsui with red hair that looked fiery and I thought “hmm, maybe she'll fit right in my vision”. Especially since Nuria is known for being girly but she still has that hardcore gritty attitude of hers that's not to be fucked with.

Fun facts: Nuria is literally a shinigami, espada and reincarnated deity

•She's reincarnated from the Japanese fire and volcanic goddess Fuji.

•Grimmjow was obsessed with her when he first saw her presence, he literally damn near killed Loly and Menloly over her.

• Aizen literally wanted her as her queen but she rejected him with the quickness.

•made Kensei weak in the knees as soon as he approached her

Next up is EBK Lotus aka Little Miss “If she keep on muggin imma steal her man” aka Little Miss “big boobs and the butt stay plump” aka Little Miss “that nigga a munch and he gon eat me like a mango” aka Little Miss “my pussy glitters it's gold.....LITERALLY” herself:

Obviously I knew that there was some way that I had to incorporate one of my faves into this story and honestly Jada Kingdom was perfect for this role. But the IG photo of her in the two piece fleece green top and skirt was what sealed the deal for casting her as Lotus.

Fun fact: Lotus is a part of the deities and is a reincarnation of the Vodoun goddess Erzulie aka the goddess of crystals, flowers, plants and sex.

•She has not one, not two but three captains on her rotation at the moment.

→literally turned Byakuya (yes y'all y'all heard me) into a munch and is the sole reason why he has no problems walking in public with his face all shimmery.

→ Kenpachi is obsessed with her so much that he immediately had her stay in his bedroom so that she could “train” and “control her powers” with him better.

→ Shunsui had her recovering in his house from the injuries she had and he folded as soon as he saw her with his kimono on dancing to the music on her phone.

The next one up is EBK Olori aka Little Miss “I'll hijack your nigga and send him home broke” aka Little Miss “dicks up when I step in the party” aka Little Miss “wonder what I do tomorrow that these hoes will get mad at” aka Little Miss “where the fuck is your waistline?” herself:

In all seriousness, I was debating between using Rubi Rose, India Love or Shenseea but then I narrowed it down to Rubi Rose because I saw her more as the kick ass, turn up bitch that barely takes shit seriously.

Fun fact: Olori is reincarnated from the Hawaiian water god deity Maui.

•She damn near got into a fight with Soi Fon when she arrived at the sereiti

•Hichigo aka Zangestu is insanely obsessed with her, likeeeeeee he deadass possessed Ichigo one time so that he could rump

•Immediately clicked with Rangiku as soon as they met each other

•Had a secret fling with Shinji one time and now he's overly obsessed with her well being

•Also got into it with Hyori because of her presence being a “distraction” to the vizords

Last but not least we have not one but two representatives for the youngest EBK members: Dotty and Riina aka Little Misses “we make it rain and we clear it out” aka Little Misses “we at the function let's get jiggy” aka Little Misses “feeling divine and will smack a bitch if she gets outta line” aka Little Misses “got a fetish for lettuce and a need to always get to the bread” themselves:

I'm gonna be real here, my first top choices was either Kenzo B and Shani Boni or Lola Brooke and Princess Sanyy.

But after seeing Girll Codee performing their freestyle on On The Radar, I just knew that they were definitely more fitting for the laid-back goofy, hype and energetic for Dotty (fc is Sha Bigga) and Riina ( fc is Hi Siddityy) who can still keep that big Brooklyn energy.

Fun facts:

Dotty is 15 minutes older than Riina

Both of them are the only fullbringers in EBK

Dotty has thunder powers and Riina has lightning powers

Riina's lightning bolt is very powerful and the only people who are able to use it to enhance their powers or weapons is Renji, Nuria and Ohagi

Dotty's thunder blade can be infused with other weaponry as a way to amplify attacks or to control reaitsu when using spiritual pressure on the offensive side.

Another reason why I chose Girll Codee as a fc for EBK Dotty and EBK Riina was because of the fact that Riina told Kenpachi at first glance to stop being siddity and just say hello to everybody as soon as they enter Paradise Island.

→And before you ask, Oetsu was the one who explained what she meant to everybody else in the soul society.

• they accidentally taught Ichigo, Renji and Shuhei how to get sturdy and Byakuya never let them hear the end of it every time they see him.

•“So, does this mean that Riina and I can't teach them how to lite feet or.....?”

They were paired up with Jushiro until his untimely death.

Both of them loved being around Yachiru and even took her out of Kenny's hands so that he can “train” with Lotus

Walking definition of instigators especially Riina...not to mention that they'll snitch on you if you end up doing some fuck shit you not even supposed to be doing.

So that's it for the people of the EBK members! Who is your favorite male member? Female member? I'm glad that I'm finally finished with this tho. Hopefully I gave y'all a great insight with all of the characters without spoiling too much 🫶🏽

#the girll codee #girll codee #hi siddityy #sha bigga #Jada Kingdom #Rubi Rose #Ashley Burgos #bleach #anime fan casts #oc fan casts #dream voice casting #hii siddity #shaa biggaa

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ssuminshan-official · 2 years

Text

. The peacock emperor arrives. 🦚

(****Just to be clear, they didn't become emperors because of jgs.

Meng Shi was the hulijing empress who got denounced as a pr*stitute (tm)

So Yao is dimples + qualities + lineage.

Madam Jin is also the peacock empress.

So Zixuan is gold + qualities + lineage.

(There are some jins who are also peacock spirits...but that doesn't matter now)

Jgs is just their dad🤪. Who was lucky to meet these amazing women.

He's too busy being perverted to realise their worth.

They'll discuss their lineage soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yao: Hou, is everything in place? Did they prepare his favorite dishes and refreshments.

Hou: yes Huangdi. And of the best quality too.

Yao: excellent. *opens fan*

I'm so excited to see him.

Xue yang: wowww. Is this all for the peacock.

Yao: Zixuan, yangyang. *laugh* mischievous.

Mo xuanyu: I'm so excited as well. It has been so long I haven't seen Xuan gege.

Yao: *smile* I know right!

Su she: I see that everything is being done with perfection.

Yao: because he's a diva.

He likes things a certain way.

Xue yang: you're a diva too, Jiggy.

Yao: yea but he's more of a diva.

Xue yang: can I prank him?

Su she: no!

Xue yang: I wasn't asking you!

Su she: what if Xuan Huangdi gets angry, then Yao Huangdi becomes upset with us.

Xue yang: I know how to bribe Jiggy.

Yao: lol please stay out of mischief. Zish has a sword.

Xue yang: I have one too, JIGGY.

Yao: guys please be nice.

Here's some candy.

Xue yang: *grin* I'll try to be on my best behavior.

Yao: look. I can bribe xue yang.

Xue yang: dang it!

Su she: sure Huangdi *bows* we won't prank him.

Mo xuanyu: I can prank him all I want because he's my Xuan gege.

Yao: mn.

~~~

Arrival~~~

Zixuan: *entering with his eunuch, Zicheng and his personal servant, Jintang.*

*he holds his head up high, while sauntering across the room, whereas his attendants fixed his clothes and peacock feather tail.

Su she: magnificent. (Both were in the corner of the room)

Xue yang: what are we going to do with two divas.

Su she: I don't really know.

Everyone present: *greeting* peacock Huangdi.

Xuan Huangdi.

Small groups: *whispering* I'm so sad that I wasn't born on February 20th.

Look at Huangdi and his brother.

They're two sapphire peonies.

They're both so magnificent.

Yao: *sauntering over to him*

Zixuan: *stops* I prefer your people not stare at me for too long.......

Yao: I prefer you not to look that stunning.

Zixuan: how rude.

Yao: how peacock-ish. *looks away*

Xue yang: is this what they call a sophisticated joke.

Su she: maybe, lol.

Zixuan: *pretending* i dont want to talk to you.

Yao: *acting* niether do I.*opens fan*

Zixuan: *smiles warmly* A-Yao.

Yao: ohhh Zish you're so funny acting all haughty towards me.

Zixuan: did you fall for it? Lol.

Yao: no. I know my bro would never!

Now how are you?

Zixuan: I'm ok for now. And you? *hugs*

Yao: fine as well. Come sit with me.

Zixuan: sure.

A-Yao, these are my personal assistants.

Zicheng and Jintang.

Both: *bow* Hulijing Huangdi.

Yao: nice to meet you two.

Yao and Zixuan: *sitting and chatting over tea*

*They told each other everything about their empire.*

Zixuan: the peacock empire is going so well. They're so peaceful as well as strong.

Yao: same. But Hulijings are more on the mischievous side.

Zixuan: I love that!

Mo xuanyu: Xuan gege!!

Zixuan: *hugs* Xuanyu, you're here?!!

Mo xuanyu: yep. You know I love my Yao gege. And I was fed up of others, hence I found my icon.

Zixuan: that's amazing!

Zixuan: I'm so happy to see you and xuanyu.

Yao: I'm happy to see you too!

Zixuan: and this tea is amazing.

Yao: made especially for you.

Zixuan: you know, I love tea so much. It's the essential of life.

Yao: it is. I love tea as well.

Su she.: oh gosh. What if they finish all the tea in Jing Manor.

Xue yang: then they order us to pick tea leaves for them.

Su she: I will love too.

Xue yang: I can't be a tea leaf farmer!

Zixuan: your local delicacies are amazing, A-Yao.

Yao: glad you enjoy.

Zixuan: I see you have a beautiful garden outside. Maybe it has a bridge over a lake.

Yao: yes. We have 4 bridges.

Zixuan: how nice.

Yao: did you see team dimple.

Minshan, A-Yu and Xue yang?

Zixuan: oh yea. He's that guy who Zixun was making fun of! The former Lan.

Su she: *sourly* don't bring it up, Xuan Huangdi.

Zixuan: and that guy! The Jianghu's most wanted.

Xue yang: hi.

Why yes, I'm the Jianghu's most wanted.

Do you want me to make you some tea.

Zixuan: I think I would have to pass. Thank you.

Xue yang: what's so bad about tongue tea?!

Zixuan: excuse me?

Xue yang: I'm sorry you couldn't taste it. I drank it out.

Zixuan: I don't drink those things.

Xue yang: but Jiggy did. Heheheheehe.

Yao: how can I ever say no to my mischievous little Chengmei muffin.

Zixuan: *touches face* oh Yaoyao my dear didi. Did anything happen to you?

Yao: lol no! And we're born on the same day, how am I your didi?

Zixuan: by 2 hours, darling. *laughs daintily*

Good that nothing happened to my A-Yao's skin.

Xue yang: I want to rip out all your peacock feathers.

And make tea with them.

Zixuan: *furious*

Yao: *laughing* so mischievous.

Zish, Chengmei means no harm.

Xue yang: it's my day off from harm.

Yao: *hands him a sweet* enjoy.

Xue yang: aww thank you.

Hehehe, getting paid on my day off.

Yao: *smiles warmly*

Yao: let's take a walk. And I'll show you the garden.

Zixuan: let's go.

Jintang and Hou: we'll carry the umbrellas for you.

Yao: excellent.

Zixuan: marvelous.

Let's go A-Yao.

Yao: mn. Come with us A-Yu.

Zixuan: yea, come.

Mo xuanyu: whatever my two geges say!

Yao: yes.

Zixuan: it must be so nice to have parties there.

Yao: I never really had one yet. But we can tomorrow.

Zixuan: with our favorite, and most lavish--

Both: Cherry Blossom wine!!

Mo xuanyu: wow. That must be expensive!

Yao: yep.

Yi: and it's kind of hard to get.

Yao: *laughs* we're emperors.

Zixuan: it's easy for us to get.

Yao: right.

And remember we own two sakura forests amd a brewery.

Yi: oh yes, Huangdi.

Mo xuanyu: Yao and Xuan gege are so cool!! Can I have some cherry blossom wine?

Yao: sure.

Everyone will have some

Zixuan: certainly.

Both: *opens their fans, and started their stroll. They were also sheltered by their attendants.*

~~~

Next day ~~

Zixuan and Yao: *elegantly sitting while their attendants got them ready, like fixing their clothes and ornaments, and brushing their hair*

*positions peacock feathers, elegantly*

*grooms and positions tail*

Two other attendants: *holding up a mirror each*

Zixuan: don't we look gorgeous?

Yao: certainly, darling.

Very very stunning.

Zixuan: dreadfully beautiful and affluent we are.

Yao: of course!

Zixuan: Yaoyao. Your dimples got deeper?

Yao: really? Aww

Zixuan: beautiful.

Su she: Huangdis, pick a fan.

Yao: hmmm. Shanshan. I'll go with the one that brings out my eyes.

Su she: I believe that this one brings out your eyes more.

Yao: great suggestion.

Su she: *blusbing*

Su she: Xuan Huangdi.

Zixuan: I'll use this one. *smile*

Yao: Shanshan, how do I look?

Su she: unexplainable beauty.

Yao: how sweet.

Xue yang: *out in the hallway* SIMP!

Jiggy you look hot!!

Zixuan: *opens fan, ignoring*

Yao: thank you yangyang.

*smiles* let's go, Zish, yangyang. *opens fan* we can't be late to our own party lol, Zish.

Zixuan: you're right!

The garden party started! There were music and dance, as well as lavish and pungent food. And yes, the cherry blossom wine. Team dimple and Zixuan however sat together, chatting amongst themselves.

Mo xuanyu: *sips* hmmm. This is delicious, Xuan gege!

Zixuan: I know right.

Yao: excellent liquor.

And it doesn't give you bad breath.

Xue yang: how much do I have to drink to get drunk??? I want to get Minshan drunk!

Su she: no way! I'm not going to be your little guinea pig.

Yao: Chengmei, it depends on Shanshan's alcohol tolerance.

Su she: right! And I don't want to have a hangover.

Mo xuanyu: nor do you want to throw up all over Yao gege.

Su she: right.

Yao: it's a mellow and sophisticated liquor. Maybe you have to drink a 5 jars to get drunk.

Xue yang: you two divas and your sophisticated beverages. Can I get something more strong?

Su she: not in a garden party like this.

Zixuan: come on, it's not an inn. Or a liquor store.

*smile* we only have the best quality drunks here.

Yao: but I heard that some would take shots with it, just for fun.

Xue yang: well that's what we're gonna do!! Right xuanyu!

Mo xuanyu: yes!!!

Su she: my poor stomach.

Yao: *laugh* take I easy on Shanshan.

Xue yang: by the way, this food is amazing!

Mo xuanyu: it's so tasty.

Zixuan: thanks to our A-Yao and his planning skills! He hired the best cooks to cater for us.

Yao: oh Zish. I must.

What would they say if I didn't. *giggle* that the emperor doesn't have good taste?

Zixuan: you think so much about everyone.

Yao: *smiles*

Zixuan: this music is so lovely.

Yao: certainly. Do you want to take a short stroll. Just to stretch our legs.

Zixuan: hmm. Only to stretch our legs?

Not for your people to admire us?

Yao: gosh, I can't hide anything from you.

Zixuan: oh Yaoyao. My mischievous little fox.

Yao: well you are the peacock.

When the started strolling, all eyes were on them.

So stunning once again!

They're very elegant.

Beautiful robes and hair.

Omg I saw Huangdi's dimples

Peacock Huangdi's feathers! And silky skin.

Peacock Huangdi is very handsome.

They both are so heavenly.

Masters of sophistication.

Waw!

Team dimple trio: Jiggy, Jiggy, Jiggy!!!

Xue yang: smoking hot.

Mo xuanyu: *throws flowers at Yao*

@verycatbluebird

#jin guangyao #jin zixuan #su she #meng yao #mdzs #dimpledlianfang #su minshan #mo dao zu shi #xue yang #mo xuanyu #the huli jing emperor #peacock #peacock emperor #fox and peacock #bros

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bells-of-black-sunday · 1 year

Note

🎶 - Robin and Danny

🎶- Haru and Tarhos

Muse tunes 2nd addition | Accepting You get 2 for each because I've got brain worms

Danny and Robin

Sacchrine

Everything you do, I'm obsessed with you I don't mean to scare, but you're just so cute Every move you make, you're fucking sweeter than a cake I wanna cut you up and put you in my oven just to bake

And everything you say is like poetry Wanna drop you in boiling water drink, you like chamomile tea I'd love to wipe these other bitches out, so it's just you and me I wanna hug you like a bunny, wanna sting you like a bee

Sex with a Ghost

I'm getting hickeys from my bed bugs I'm getting busy with a bad perfume I'm sticking kisses to a pen drug I'm making friction with a sad vacuum

I'm getting jiggy with a rifle I'll pull the trigger with my eyes closed Hoping to hit you somewhere vital And when I miss, you come and kiss me with a smile

Tarhos and Haru

Chokehold

Beneath the stormy seas Above the mountain peaks It's all the same to me It makes no difference I've seen my days unfold

Done the impossible I'll turn my walls to gold to bring you home again So show me that which I can not see Even if it hurts me Even if I can't sleep Oh, and though we act out of our holy duty to be constantly awake

That Man He's a Monster

Listen to the sound of a dying old man Once he had it all, but it slipped out of his hands

Crashing to the ground like a runaway train Staring at the blaze as his life goes up in flames

That man he's a monster Made a deal with the demons He's a cold-hearted heathen, yeah It's gunpowder season

#ooc #/ship inspo #they make me feral its alright

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fanficwriter284 · 1 year

Note

OMGG hiii

could you make a fic were the rays invite jig slappy and billy over and they all decorate their house

Sure Why Not

"K you guys ready to set up? The tree's already done so just do that house okay?"

"Yeah got it"

"Ok!"

"Alright"

"Tiff ready?"

"Yep!"

Chucky looked down at the twins who were picking out a festive collar for Beau. Trying to pick between the candy cane striped one, or the red and green one.

"You two ready?"

"YEAH!"

"Yep!"

Everyone split off and tacked each corner of the house. Billy was working with the reefing and ornaments. Jiggy was working on perfecting the lights. Slappy and Chucky were....well doing something. Slappy was on Chucky's shoulders trying to get to the top of the window to apply garlands.

"Lift me up higher!"

"IM TRYING!!! Why don't you reach up higher!"

Tiffany was applying red colored candles along the hose accompanied by Beau wearing the candy cane collar and the Twins following after him.

"Wanna help me put the reef up?"

"YES!"

"YEAH!"

"Ok! Finally got IttTTTtt! OW!!! What the hell!"

"You took a long"

"Asshole"

Chucky rolled his eyes and handed his arm out to lift his brother up from the ground.

"Looking good so far!"

"Ya think so!"

"Yeah"

"Reefs up!"

"Nice"

"AAaaaaannnnd Lights are done"

Jig flicked them illuminating the room with bright colors, hues of red, green, variations of blue, gold, and white.

"Woahhhhh"

"Wow"

#Rays #The Boys #Chiffany #Glen and Glenda

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hulijingemperor2 · 1 year

Text

Yao: *twirling in his Lan furen attire* how do I look, team D?!! And Song'er?

Trio: *clapping* marvelous!! Stunning!!

Su she: if you're the Lan sect leader, I'll go back to the lan sect.

Xue yang: hotter than Lan xichen.

Mo xuanyu: he's always hotter than Lan lips.

Rusong: A-Die, you look gorgeous.

Yao: aww thanks guys.

*throws flowers* orchids for everyone!!

Rusong: haha.

Xue yang: ah Jiggy. My diva.

Su she: *blushing* Huangdi.

Mo xuanyu: *cheering* Yao gege! You're always my orchid!

Yao: great!

Xue yang: Jiggy lanned more than the Lans.

Su she: I know right. This will be my reason to go back to the lan sect. Because of a hot Huangdi.

Yao: ah you all flatter me so much.

But I don't want to blush in front of A-Huan.

Mo xuanyu: you will give him a nosebleed for days.

Xue yang: months!

Mo xuanyu: Jiggy you slay!!

~~~~

.Cloud recesses 📍

Next day, Lan Qiren woke up to see fox spirits having a picnic on his lawn ( along with some students.)

Qiren: hey!!! What are you doing on my lawn!!

Lan students: *running away*

Fox spirits: *bowing* greetings Lan Qiren.

Chen (fox spirit): we were hungry.

Yunxi: and felt a bit mischievous too.

Qiren: all you do is cause trouble!! Picnics and noise aren't allowed in the cloud recesses!

And why is my clay pot broken.

Chen: sorry. Xi meimei had fell on it and it cracked.

Why can't we laugh, old man!

Come on, you're our Huangdi's uncle-in-law.

X: your clay pot was ugly anyways, and it might upset our Huangdi.

Qiren: *sighs* Huangdi my foot!! I'll throw you out of here!!

Yu: heyy you can't do that.

X: Master Qiren, here's a list of Huangdi's favourite meals.

Qiren: do I look like a chef?!

X: well find one na! You maybe have a staff of chefs.

Yu: Huangdi is on his way.

Qiren: then why are you niucences here?!

Yu: we live in Gusu, Lan qiren. And we have decided to come here to get a glimpse of our Huangdi.

Qiren: *crying* what have gotten into this Xichen!! Who told him to marry the emperor of Hulijings!! Who? He's getting just like Wangji!

HUANGDI IS HERE!!!!

The fox spirits almost trampled over qiren, as they rushed to the entrance.

Xichen: *comes out and helps A-Yao out of the caravan*

Yao: *wearing white, teal and coral, with hints of gold, complemented by a white and gold fan. Instead of his hat, he wore Jade and gold peony shaped hairpins and a headband.

Xichen: gorgeous.

Yao: *dimples* oh Huan.

Fox spirits: *awestruck* look at Huangdi!

He's Lan furen!

He's so hot.

Greetings Huangdi!!

Yao: hi darlings.

Huangdi we didn't bring any flowers for you, sorry.

Yao: aw it's ok.

Qiren: *limping*

Xichen: greetings Shufu.

Yao: *bows* greetings uncle-in-law.

Fox spirits: *whispering* omg Huangdi is so graceful.

Qiren: don't use them dimples on me. It isn't going to work.

Yao: *smiling*

Qiren: now why are your hulijing menaces all over cloud recesses and Gusu?

Yao: *demure* I don't know. Maybe they're excited to see me.

Xichen: shufu, it's not A-Yao's fault. Look at how cute he is.

And of course these fox spirits who are Gusu residents would be thrilled to see their Huangdi pass through.

Qiren: *rolls eyes*

I'm glad that you didn't bring those maniacs with you.

Yao: shufu? What maniacs?

Qiren: the former Lan student, that broken finger one who keeps asking about my love life. And that Huadian ghost who looks like Wei wuxian.

Yao: ohhh, you mean team dimple. They're not maniacs.

Yes they are a bit mischievous but they're very sweet when you get to know them. *smile*

Qiren: whatever they are. I'm glad they're not here.

*sarcasm* would you enter please, your majesty.

Xichen: awww.

Qiren: I guess I should arrange a room for you too.

Yao: no uncle-in-law. The Huanshi is fine for me.

A-Yao's attendants: excellent Huangdi!!!

Qiren: *clenches chest* Huan-Shi!!

Yao: yea! Zewu Jun's residence.

Xichen: *blushing* yea my residence. Hehe.

Qiren: NO!! YOU TWO CAN'T SHARE ONE BED!! I won't let you contaminate the cloud recesses with papapa!

We already have wangxian for that!

Xiying: oh dear. Why is he yelling?

Fuying: you shouldn't deny the emperor. If he wishes to sleep with any of his harem members, in a desired place, he can.

Qiren: h-harem member!!!!

Xichen: concubine. Someone who's married to Huangdi along with~~

Qiren: I know what a concubine is!!

Fine. You two. Go to the huanshi.

Xiyao: thank you shufu.

Yao: *almost trips, but Xichen caught him*

Xichen: be careful Huangdi.

Is the clothes too big for you?

Yao: no not at all. But you know, I'm just tiny.

Xichen: aww. So that's why you're easily swallowed in cloth.

Yao: yup.

Xichen: *lovingly grabs his hand* should I hold your hand then?

Yao: *cutely nods in agreement*

Xichen: mn.

Yao: Huan, your cloud recesses is beautiful.

Xichen: oh really. I want to show you something near the Huanshi, and in the Huanshi too.

Yao: your surprises are always the best.

Xichen: of course. Heehee.

Yao: but don't be too confident. Team dimple will deduct a point.

Xichen: lol.

I wonder what they're doing.

Yao: hmm maybe hanging out with Song'er.

Xichen: ah. Speaking of Song'er, he's such a great successor of yours. You raised him well.

Yao: thank you!! And Song'er is a natural talent.

Xichen: like you.

Yao: *blush*

Huanhuan, I want to tell you something. But keep it to yourself.

Xichen: sure I will. Tell me.

Yao: A-Song has a crush on someone.

Xichen: what?!!! On who?? That's so great A-Yao!!

Yao: on A-Qing.

Xichen: that's really cute!

Yao: and I want to bring them together.

Xichen: you should, A-Yao. You know I'm a matchmaker too. And all were successful.

Yao: yes yes. Wangxian is definitely successful.

Xichen: I shipped other people too, A-Yao. Not only Wangxian.

Yao: then who else, Huan. *laugh*

Xichen: ummm......I ship Sangcheng.

Yao: ok ok. Let's say you brought them together.

Xichen: I say you should send Song'er to a spring and then tell A-qing to take a walk near that same spring. Works every time.

Yao: Huan no. Lol.

But I'll set up some dates for them, secretly. And I have Zixuan.

Xichen: right. Team up with him. Since that he's A-Song's uncle.

Yao: yup. Zish and I will make a team!

Yao: *hugs his arm* Song'er don't want me to tell team dimple, because they might tease him.

Xichen: *laughing* oh no.

Poor Song'er.

Yao: baby don't want to be teased.

Yao: anyways, speaking of them, what do you have to say about the random team dimple. Do they annoy you? *laughing*

Xichen: never! I love everything associated with you.

Yao: lovely!

Xichen: sorry about shufu calling them maniacs.

Yao: it's alright. My team dimple are extremely intelligent and skilled in everything. Down to simping. And I don't care what anyone says about them.

Xichen: aww. I love it when you stand firmly on what you believe in. You're extraordinary. *kisses* love you.

A-Yao.

Yao: A-Huan.

Xichen: you look so cute with that forehead ribbon. And those hairpins.

Yao: *smile*

Xichen: truly a graceful Huangdi.

Yao: thank you very much, A-Huan.

Xichen: Huangdi.

Yao: hmm?

Xichen: do you want to admire the moon together later? And have some wine.

Yao: wine?? In the cloud recesses???

Xichen: no one knows what I hide in my Huanshi.

Do you think that only Wangji can do that?!

And besides, I'm married to a diva emperor. Obviously I must cater for him.

Yao: *opens fan* how mischievous.

But I like it.

Do you sneak in meat??

Xichen: no. I'm still vegetarian.

But I LOVE your Yunping delicacies.

I would eat a little chicken, but only when it's made by you.

Yao: awwww.

Xichen: it reminds me of when you saved me.

Yao: Xichen you're the cutest thing.

What else did you sneak into the Huanshi?

Xichen: maybe roasted chicken at some time. But I didn't like it. Because it was from Gusu.

Yao: then what else?

Xichen: you.

Yao: *blushing intensly* Zewu Jun. What....what if....people hear you....omg.

Xichen: *yelling* I SNUCK A-YAO INTO THE HUANSHI!!!!

Qiren in the distance: *almost faints* shameless!

Yao: hahahaha stop!

So Zewu Jun. Can we have a music session like old times?

Xichen: of course. And you're so excellent at playing the guqin. You're a guqin prodigy.

Yao: you're the one who taught me originally.

Xichen: I believe that you knew how to play it already. And just practiced with me.

*teasing* maybe you pretended to not know how to play the guqin, so that you can spend alone time with me.

Yao: did it work?

Xichen: yes. And now I'm fully seduced by you.

Yao: happy?

Xichen: very.

Yao: good. *tiptoes to kiss him*

Xichen: *kisses*

Yao: where's your flute, Xichen?

Xichen: which flute?

Yao: *hits him with his fan* er ge!!

Xichen: I learnt that from Wangji. He once asked Wei Gongzi the same thing and that was the answer.

Yao: oh my!

Xichen: Anyways. Liebing is here. At the emperor's service *bows* and delight.

Yao: *giggling* er ge. You're making me laugh. You're so cute.

Xichen: because I feel like I'm in love.

Yao: maybe you are.

Xichen: mhm.

Xichen: here's the Huanshi, A-Yao!

And look, I planted peonies.

Yao: aww, er ge!! It's gorgeous. I love it so much!!

Xichen: *wraps his arm around him* for my peony.

Yao: *hugs*

*entering the Huanshi*

Yao: beautiful house, er ge. As always.

Xichen: yep. And look, I set up a little fox spirit shrine in the corner.

Yao: how sweet.

*sits*

Xichen: sometimes I would offer flowers.

Yao: aw. Does Lan qiren know?

Xichen: nop. What happens in the Huanshi stays in the Huanshi.

Yao: hmmm. Lan lips has secrets.

Xichen: don't tell team dimple.

Yao: *laughing* I'll think about that.

Xichen: they'll interrogate me more.

Yao: but I like when they interrogate you.

Xichen: oh my! Well at least it entertains you.

And I know that you're their everything.

Yao: right.

Xichen: *kisses his hands* Diva. Would you have a music session with me?

Yao: *blushing* I would love to.

Xichen: *pulls out his liebing*

Yao: *makes his guqin appear*

Xichen: let's see if Huangdi is still an excellent guqin player.

Yao: well, you're here to teach me, if I mess up.

Xichen: mhm.

Yao: *blushing*

Xichen: *plays his flute*

Yao: *plays guqin.

#the huli jing emperor #foxyao #dimpledlianfang #jin guangyao #jin zixuan #meng yao #part 2 #su she #the untamed #hulijing emperor 2

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