#god this is really draining me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mutilxtedd · 22 days

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Hi im constantly offline and i know, sorry. My school life is just getting worse and worse, bullying is getting to me and i really can't handle it all anymore. I feel like everyone I talk to can't be trusted again and I noticed my best friend is forgetting about me, everything is just falling apart. I haven't posted for a long time, so ill just get some doodles from my tablet and post them here. Once again, I'm really sorry.

#jesterneedsabsolutehelp #god this is really draining me #worst thing is that i can't do anything about it #istg i just want it to be overrr i promise ill post someday

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bootyful-seventeen · 5 months

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Oh gosh okay so I went back to marinating more on long haired Jihoon, but specifically long haired Jihoon getting pegged has me chewing on the bars of my enclosure to get out

Like just think of how pretty he'd look when he's on all fours and your fucking into him!! His chest blushed and heaving from how needy he is for you and the way your touch just feels so good and electric running along your skin! Your fingers then threading through his hair to pull his head up to see his thoroughly fucked out and flushed face in the mirror you placed in front of the bed. His eyes rolling back into his skull as cute little whimpers and cries slip from his lips when you brush your lips along his shoulder and licking up his neck before nibbling on his earlobe. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh and even the louder moans he'd make if you gripped his cheeks in your hands and pounded him into the mattress, his back arching so nicely that you can't help but run a hand up his spine and wrap his long hair around your fist while he trembled underneath you whimpering about how he's gonna cum. Your eyes dropping down to watch his slick hole swallowing your strap on with ease from being played with for so long before getting bent over. Jihoon's whines getting louder from hand slipping between his thighs to jerk off his leaky cock until he's releasing spurts onto the sheets under him. Tears springing from his eyes as you fuck him at a harder and faster pace until he was left gasping for air, his thighs shaking from keeping his ass up when your strap slips out of his trembling hole and a relieved smile on his face as you cooed about how good he was for you, and how he looks so pretty all fucked out like this between kisses along his spine

#seventeen smut #woozi smut #jihoon smut #i'm sorry i'm back in my geto jihoon thoughts of him with some long hair. like long ass hair like him and this started cuz #i saw a post on ig from the alley saying that they'll have more jjk merch coming soon and i really wanna get the keychains #especially since my slutty little toji is included too like oh my god #but yeah i think i might be good enough to try writing again but bit by bit #mostly cuz the ways i've been coping with stress and anxiety hasn't been as effective but writing this has helped me calm down a bit #and get me focused on something else cuz i've had too many peer reviews that i think i should probably get assessed by a doctor soon #but yee ya girl sammy is making baby steps of a return rn since writing this didn't feel draining at all and it made me so happy!!!#this shit has me feeling like austin powers when he got his mojo back lmaooooo #m:jihoon

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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months

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#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

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toastybugguy · 3 months

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one of those days when shit just happens to you and you realize you probably will never get closure and will have to learn how to cope with it on your own. good god. where is the fucking rewind button!!

#toasty talks #rant incoming #I just want to turn my brain off #god.#I often forget how much people can suck when you exit your bubble #this morning has been awful. shoutout to church groups. I hope everyone there explodes #I don’t think I’ll be going again. we tried folks we tried but I am so emotionally drained and unwell after that.#sue me for assuming as a trans Christian my pov would be helpful in a class LITERALLY talking about gender identity #but instead the moment my experience challenges or doesn’t apply to them they get teary because oh WE’VE felt hurt in our lives too!!#how dare you assume we don’t understand!! (<- still cisgender!! so no!!! you don’t understand!!!!)#fuck them honestly they can figure it out by themselves #I am so tired of this #I would take a staunch conservative any day over these 30 something liberal terfdipshits who can’t stand a conversation not being about them #when the class is. again. LITERALLY about gender identity. christ.#my brother will be home next week and will probably go to the class so MAYBE. MAYBE I will go to that meeting but I really don’t know.#if it’s too much then I am not going back. fuck them fuck them fuck them

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 10 months

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posting this wip before i go to bed cause i'm so so tired aughgah<333

#wip #my art #i wanted to finish this one today but a trip to dentist and hours of walking later and i'm officially drained and down a literal tooth!!#god there was so much blood pouring out of my mouth the entire route back home omgg hhh it was honestly insane xd #on the plus side it was a pretty good reference on how to shade injuries and blood better for the future so there's good in that ig hhh :'D #i hate the shading for this one cause i'm so so sleepy and too lazy to fix it so you'll have to settle with it as it is xd #btw thank you all so so much for the support and love yesterday!! it really really meant so much to me :')#and sorry to all those i couldn't answer in time!! they were legit SO many and i cried so THANKS you crazy sweet beans omfg >:'D #muah muah gn everyone i'm just gonna pass out now hhh byyyye!!! <33333

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callixton · 5 months

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oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.

#we go back to campus a week early for mac. to be clear #and god they’ll be long days and they’ll be physically emotionally and mentally draining and i genuinely dont know if i can take that #but i am also going to be missing SO much time. and i won’t be there to support the people who i need to #i have also. been thinking a lot about how i’m scared that i think so much abt death bc i’m gonna be one of those people #who seem even more than everyone else like they have a finite time and then they die young #and then my mom compared me to jonathan larson tonight #so maybe that’s some sort of sign that i need to slow the fuck down #i am crying rn. for myself. which happens about three times a year #and yeah one is usually during winter break so we��re on schedule #i don’t know. idk!! i don’t know what to do here #and i still have to do my fucking scene prep for tomorrow #bc i was talking my mom about it and i really needed support which she was giving and then she has to leave for five seconds #and when she came back the entire conversation was just about her own problems again which we’ve already talked about every fucking night bc #- you can’t leave conversations with her and i hate when she fucking drunks i hate it i hate it #i am Not Well. i’ve sort of been avoiding admitting to myself just how badly #but man. i can push through anything until i drop but when i start wishing that i’ll drop so i have an excuse for a break….. not good #ted talks #the west wing

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0rchidm4ntis · 6 days

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#mica rambles #yknow how sometimes you can tell youre about to get really obsessed with something and its going to consume you for the next weeks to come?#currently feeling that way about kanata #i knew from DAY ONE that this was coming. he literally checks all the boxes for me to be unhinged about him #(silly guy with fucked up backstory. isolation. the Sea. disconnection from his humanity. weird relationship with god)#and the only reason ive managed to avoid it til now is bc ryuuseitai went completely over my head when i first started playing the game #could not have been less interested about them #but now that im more invested in the story and every unit.. dear gods help me for whats to come #i really hope im going to be wrong about this i cant afford to produce someone else oTL knights already drain my savings enough PLS

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ohitslen · 11 months

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After waltzing around it, I am genuinely, THIS TIME FOR REAL… going to read Trimax

What convinced me this time is that I saw three times that one panel of Vash crying blood today and I went insane the three times. So wish me luck, me and my storage. Because the screenshots are going to be crazy

#if you haven’t noticed. I have another blog for me to dump the panels I will unavoidably hoard #i don’t know if I’ll post them in order. but I eventually will bc I really want the screenshots #but im going to have to put them *somewhere* if I don’t want this thing to die #so a blog it is yk #going to put myself through hell and back for the fuck of it #im a big girl I can do this. I read the entirety of blue flag in an afternoon I can do this #Trigun is longer than that but I mean. blue flag is 9 volumes so. this should take me. like three days. now #considering I technically work on the weekends. I’ll have to catch up on Monday #because my god i get home DRAINED #love the kids tho #trigun #Trigun maximum #lenssi rambles

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thebirdandhersong · 1 year

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#as a side note i had a moment of horrid irony when i thought suddenly that I WISHED mr knight were there #because he was at the vigil last year and used to be a part of my church. and i suddenly missed all my old housemates #who were here last year! went to hug people during the peace and a good friend asked if i was okay #i was like 😭😭😭😭 not really and then turned around and SAW the boy and was like well this is a twist in the plot i truly dont care for #anyway all's well i just cried buckets more my heart's been wrung OUT #he lives fae away. he was not supposed to come. anyway he did and i shook his hand formally because he offered to (???)#*far away #it was totally bizarre #he did not stay for long which. thank God. i wouldve been so much more tired if he had #but he wished me happy birthday which irked me because we'd had an unspoken agreement to not wish each other happy birthday (for fear of #mixed signals) which. happened i guess #it was INCREDIBLY bizarre. the safest ive ever felt in my life was when he was holding me #and now he's a familiar stranger i know too well whom i dont WANT to know #anyway it has been a heartwrenching and soul draining Lent and past six months or more and i was ready to cry #and so i did. bawled like a baby after certain readings and songs. cried and cried and cried #re: reasons for that concerning the ex boyfriend: it is SO weird and i dont know how to deal with it #like. i still have so much love that it feels like grief and the grief bleeds into that love too #but that love isnt for HIM anymore or at least not the person i found he was. so now it really does have nowhere to go #ANYHOW IT'S LATE BUT THE POINT IS. HE IS RISEN AND THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS #THAN SEEING YOUR EX BOYFRIEND AT CHURCH AND BEING LIKE ?????? HUH????????

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rogersstevie · 21 days

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am soooo close to being able to start reading my books chronologically as i have them on my shelf which ik is gonna take forever especially bc it’s not like I’m ever only reading books i own but anyway I’m just really hoping for some things to crap out bc right now between books and dvds it’s more than I’d like

#movies aren’t so bad but tv shows take up so much #and i had thought i would end up getting rid of charmed but really it’s just like gg where only the last season really sucks #with books I’ve read almost everything at least once but i figure some will turn out to be shit on rereading #can’t lie idc about a lot of classics I have my few austens that i know i love but #sometimes they’re just so draining i know you’re not supposed to think so or whatever but i hate the complicated language #but yeah it’s easier to know with a book that i never need to read it again whereas movies it’s like #well i should probably keep that even if it’s not an absolute favorite #could maybe stand to get rid of some lesser rom coms though bc my god the misogyny is exhausting #sometimes the fun bits don’t quite outweigh that for me

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three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat · 2 months

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Animal Crossing does to me what gacha games do to normal people

#ysee. the gambling and limited time events. bad.#doesnt really have much of an effect of me.#ANIMAL CROSSING THOUGH. despite none of the events being actually limited time.#i will waste and spend hours of my life i will not get back playing that game for a furniture set i dont even like that much #case in point today is bunny day i have spent the last. two? three? time has blurred. hours collecting eggs and making ugly furniture #i am mentally and physically drained. my thumb hurts from hitting a and y so much. god has cursed me.#the real kicker is. i dont even like animal crossing that much. i iust play it every once in a while when im bored #mb's two am rambling

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lawlietscaramels · 2 months

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hey PSA no matter if I have 10 followers or 10 thousand I love all of them and will always do my best to interact and thank them and not make them feel little or judged or ignored because I know you guys have amazing ideas and creations and I love it all, I simply cannot follow more than a few people without getting overwhelmed

#read tags for more #i was just thinking how i respond to people messaging me and @ ing me and stuff and comparing it to insta #where most people don't even allow non mutuals to message and if they do just react eith an emoji and call it a day #give really dismissive remarks even if you give them fanart - this isnt everyone but still #i really feel this sense of “oh my god! i cant believe my stuff had an impact! i inspired someone - someone wants to talk to me!” etc #and seeing things like @/dicenote s singing of a song i wrote is stuff i never ever forget it has a place in my heart #i genuinely would be following many more people if it didnt drain me to use social media for so long #to be completely honest i look through my follower's accounts to see what you guys are up to.. i love you all... im very anxious is all #do i hide it well #lei chats

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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months

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