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#god these two are the sides of the same coin
lxkeee · 3 days
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TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN
—CHAPTER TEN
Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Seraphim Angel! Fem! Reader
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Genre: ANGST
Warnings: swearing and just angst.
Notes: Yayy! An update after being gone for a month or so lmao XD but anywho, heaven and back would be updated next week, I'm still finishing the chapter up lol.
Second notes: incase if you haven't seen the Azrael fanart my friend did for me, here's the link~! And also, did you know we have a discord server? Here's the link to it:3 come and join, everyone is friendly<3 and if you're already part of the server, come and say hi too:D
Word count: 4.6k
PART ONE I PART NINE | PART ELEVEN | NAVIGATION
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Michael lets out a deep exhale once he finally hears the door to [Y/n]'s room clicked as he closes it. He was beyond worried when he heard the news of what happened to her. He blamed himself for being the cause of her passing out, if only he didn't send her down there then she would've been fine.
Michael leans against [Y/n]'s door, running a hand through his soft blond locks, eyes closed as he sighs.
Unaware of the approaching dark haired taller male.
Azrael's eyebrow raised as he noticed the blond man scrunched against [Y/n]'s door, seemingly in deep thought.
Azrael heard what happened and he immediately rushed back to heaven after his work, he was worried sick for the woman.
He sighs, although he didn't show it. His charming and mischievous face remains unchanged as he approaches the door.
“Michael, didn't expect to see you today.” Azrael says, his usual teasing and sultry voice catching Michael's attention.
Michael's head raised up—previously hung low—to look at the source of the voice, only to see Azrael in his deathly glory.
“I heard what happened so I immediately came here to check up on her, especially knowing she went down there and possibly saw him.” Michael explained and Azrael fought back the urge to roll his eyes at the man.
“Still wondering why you chose her to go down there, I was willing to take the load off her shoulders.”
Michael sighs, running a hand through his light blond hair, he doesn't get paid enough for this.
“I know and I suggested it to her right? To do the rock-paper-scissors game again after she lost but she was determined to take the case and I needed to respect that, she was fully prepared to go down there.” Michael explained, exhaustion evident on his voice. He was confused too, worried even. He can only believe God's words, the man sees everything—the past, present, and future.
He can only trust his judgement despite how it pains him to see [Y/n] suffer.
Azrael sighs, stuffing both of his hands in the pocket of his pants. Decided not to further question the man and possibly aggravate both of them.
Fights between Virtues are close to non-existent, but never zero. Arguments can be dangerous for powerful heavenly beings such as themselves.
“I shall not question you further, I'll hand you my reports later this evening so for now, excuse me.” Azrael says with a sigh, walking past Michael as he knocked on [Y/n]'s door before entering.
The door closed with a click. Michael was alone in that hallway after, with a sigh and finally drooping his heavy shoulders, he walked away.
For someone to be God's right hand man, he doesn't know anything. He has no choice but to place his trust in their heavenly father.
Who is currently away to a place they don't know.
‘What a mess,’ Michael thought to himself, the worried expression on his face disappearing as it was replaced with his usual cold and aloof facial expression that he is known for, shoulders straightening up, his footsteps fading as he disappeared from the hallway.
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[Y/n] was blankly staring at the ceiling as she was lying down on her bed, seemingly lost in thought.
Azrael sighs, heels clicking as he walks towards her bed, [Y/n] shifted her head to look at the sound of the noise just to see Azrael, sitting on the empty spot of the side of her bed.
She gave him a weak and tired smile.
“Are you alright? I heard what happened,” Azrael muttered, a worried look on his face, “What did I tell you about pushing yourself to the limit?”
“The audacity to say that to me with your nonexistent sleep schedule—” [Y/n] says with a teasing tone but got playfully smacked by a pillow by none other than Azrael.
“I am death, I do not need sleep.”
Azrael says with a small pout, returning back the pillow to where he got it from, crossing his arms and crossing his long and slender legs.
[Y/n] chuckled softly, moving her position to sit on the bed instead of lying down.
“I mean... You looked like death.” She says, Azrael raises his eyebrow at her.
“I don't know why but I feel offended by that statement—”
[Y/n] stares at him, almost a deadpan looking the man up and down, “Come on... You know what I mean.”
“It's the bags underneath my eyes isn't it?” he asked, deadpanning at her, “Michael has it worse, stop attacking me.”
Azrael sighs, sometimes he forgets how difficult she is.
‘Dear father, give me the strength not to end her myself. I'm just kidding, I didn't mean to say that—’
He thought to himself, letting out a long exhale as he saw the teasing grin on the girl's face.
“You're trying to distract me.” he says, eyes narrowing into a deadpan, his lips still in a pout.
“Is it working?” [Y/n] asked with a playful tone, eyebrow raised teasingly at the male.
“Unfortunately.” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, long and slender fingers weaving through the dark black locks in slight frustration.
Whenever he's with her, he sighs a lot. That's something he noticed a long time ago.
The heart palpitations he gets whenever she's near might've not been because of attraction, it's probably because of stress.
She stresses him out.
Okay, just a little bit.
Azrael sighs once more, [Y/n] resisting herself to burst out into laughter, “That's the sixth time you've sighed.” She points out, Azrael deadpans at her.
“Thank you for keeping count, I really appreciate it.” He says, playful sarcasm dripping from his voice.
“You're welcome, death.” She says, it was enough for both of them to burst into chuckles.
Knock, knock, knock.
A knock was heard from her door, catching both of them off guard.
The door opens. A long dark blue haired woman can be seen standing by the door. Her hair tied into a ponytail yet her hair still reaches her waist. A serious look on her face.
Gabriel is here.
‘Oh shit.’ Azrael thought to himself, a shiver running down his back.
The room suddenly felt colder with the woman's presence. Something that often happens whenever Gabriel is in the room.
“Gabriel... Hi—” [Y/n] says nervously, getting cut off.
“Save it Raphael, Azrael please leave.” Gabriel says, voice dripping with icy coldness.
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Gabriel, known as God's messenger; she handles reports that are needed to be passed around between realms.
It is natural that the news of Raphael collapsing would immediately reach her.
She can never understand what [Y/n] sees in Lucifer, sure she can see the vision but after what happened and what he did to [Y/n].
She gets the ick.
When the meeting about Sera and Adam's actions were held and the meeting also included about this 'Hazbin Hotel proposed by none other than Lucifer's daughter.
Someone needs to oversee it.
Unfortunately, [Y/n] lost the game that decides that.
The other members thought it was a bad idea but [Y/n] insists, saying that it's fair.
She doesn't want them to baby her. She wants to prove to them that she's okay.
Gabriel was beyond worried, [Y/n] is like a little sister to her despite their ages being so close to each other.
She trusts [Y/n], she can't trust Lucifer.
She couldn't trust the man who abandoned his wife for another woman.
Especially when she learned that Lilith left Lucifer.
It made Gabriel smile when she found out.
Qui totum vult totum perdit, as she always says.
Which translates to, ‘he who wants everything, loses everything.’
Michael usually refutes it with an, ‘Omnia causa fiunt.’
Which translates to, everything happens for a reason.
She doesn't understand Michael sometimes, despite knowing the man for many eons now.
She supposed Michael has some secrets to hide as the heavenly father's right hand man.
She couldn't imagine the burden he's carrying but then again, everyone in the seven virtues has something to hide.
She hums to herself, her mind returning what she was previously thinking.
What was she talking about again?
Oh, Lucifer.
Lucifer got greedy, he lost both of his wives in the process.
What differs him from the first man then?
Nothing.
After all, he is the embodiment of the sin of pride.
He is prideful, arrogant, and greedy.
Not much of a difference between him and Adam, except for how they show their arrogance.
Lucifer became blind when given the opportunity to act upon his God forsaken dreams.
Gabriel grimaced at the thought. The very dreams that doomed humanity.
With that blindness, he lost everything in the process.
As what he deserves.
Gabriel wonders why can't [Y/n] see that a man is willing to go on his knees to worship her?
Azrael, the angel of death.
The virtue of humility. Despite Azrael's slight narcissistic personality, the man knows how to be humble.
Despite the popular belief.
The man knows how to control himself. He knows the difference between being arrogant and being proud of one's achievement.
Unlike Lucifer.
Although, Azrael is borderline to it, she won't speak about it though. Nope, nuh uh.
How funny, Lucifer the sin of pride and Azrael the virtue of humility.
Gabriel almost chuckled at the thought, ‘I supposed there are two sides of the same coin.’
With a sigh, the sounds of her heels clicking against the tiled floors came to a halt.
She stood in the hallway of the Caeles mansion, facing the door that leads to [Y/n]'s room.
She can hear [Y/n]'s muffled behind the door, along with a familiar voice of Azrael laughing. Though, muffled.
Gabriel tilts her body slightly to the side so she can gaze outside through the many windows that are in the hallway.
Dark evening blue skies are what she can see, the sun has set a few hours ago.
She's not sure, the concept of time doesn't matter to an immortal being such as her.
She turns to face the door once more, taking a deep breath as she composes herself.
Stand straight, chest up, shoulders back. Confidence.
She knocks and opens the door.
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“Gabriel... Hi—” [Y/n] says nervously, getting cut off.
“Save it Raphael, Azrael please leave.” Gabriel says, voice dripping with icy coldness.
Azrael smiled nervously at [Y/n], patting the girl's head before getting up from where he was sitting—the edge or side of [Y/n]'s bed—his heels clicked on the tiled floor as he walked.
He passes by Gabriel, patting the woman on the shoulder before exiting the room.
The door clicked as it closed. [Y/n] nervously gulped.
Gabriel sighs, finally letting herself walk towards [Y/n]'s direction.
The sound of her heels clicking against the tiled floor is what [Y/n] can only hear, she plays with her thumbs nervously. Her [e/c] eyes avoiding deep dark blue ones.
“We need to talk.” She says sternly as she sits on the edge of the bed, [Y/n] sighs and nodded.
This is going to be fun. [Y/n] thought to herself, sighing mentally.
“What happened?” Gabriel asked, crossing her arms as she looked at the other female.
[Y/n] chuckled nervously, “I sorta got ambushed by evil...?”
Gabriel just stared blankly at her before deadpanning, “How—”
“It just happened okay?” [Y/n] just sighs and Gabriel just inhales and then exhales loudly.
“I don't want to continue asking about that,” Gabriel says flatly, clearly lost for words.
[Y/n] just nodded before looking away to avoid the other woman's eyes.
“Why do you insist on taking this job?” Gabriel asked, her dark blue eyes sternly looking at the [h/c] haired girl.
[Y/n] looked at the other woman in the eye, faltering slightly from the sharpness or Gabriel's dark blue ones.
“Because I just want to, what more reason do you want?” [Y/n] says nervously, avoiding Gabriel's stern and judgemental gaze.
Gabriel sighs then raises an eyebrow at her, “We know you just want to see him. It's been eons, [Y/n]. Why are you still hung up on the guy? You should move on and perhaps find someone new?” she asked her and [Y/n] avoided Gabriel's gaze and turned to look at the window near her bed, watching as the clouds passed by her window.
She sighs, “I can't, I still love him, Gabriel. After all these years my heart still yearns for him, aches, and beats for him.” she whispers softly, voice shaking and vulnerable.
Gabriel sighs, “You always let your emotions get in the way, that's the problem with you [Y/n] you don't think.” she says sternly and [Y/n] remained quiet, she knows Gabriel is right but she can't help it.
“He's just a man, [y/n].”
“A failure of an angel, he brings shame to the seraphims.”
“No, he's not.” [Y/n] refutes back yet her voice lacks resolve, it was barely a whisper.
“So what are you telling me? That this is all worth it because he's the love of your life and this was the man for you” Gabriel asked, a tinge of anger in her voice, her words sending knives to [Y/n]'s heart.
Gabriel is right and she refuses to listen.
“I don't know... He might've been.” [Y/n] answers weakly, a single tear running down her left cheek.
“This is ridiculous.” Gabriel says and [Y/n] just gave a pained laugh, “I know.” she says, she knows that.
“So there's no chance of changing your mind then?” Gabriel asked, a small scoff leaving her lips, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in slight annoyance at the thought of [Y/n] going down in hell once more.
[Y/n] nodded, Gabriel sighed and stood up from where she was sitting, “You're really an idiot, [Y/n].” Gabriel says with a small sigh, a strand of dark blue hair falling on her face. She uses her finger to tuck those strands behind her ear. Her dark blue eyes analyzing the other woman—helpless, weak, an utter fool for lowering herself for a man.
One might say the standards are in hell because of how low it is.
How ironic, amusing.
[Y/n] smiled weakly, she knows. She knows she's stupid for loving a man this much.
Yet, she can't help it. She's a fool. A fool in love with the devil, who was once an angel, who was once her loving husband.
You can never really know you love someone until they've hurt you and still think of them as the best person ever.
“Yeah, I know.” [Y/n] says with a pained smile, a bitter chuckle escaping from her plump pink lips.
Gabriel stood up from where she was sitting, walking to a nearby window that's near the edge of her bed, she stared outside the glass panel, her hands behind her back.
“Does that mean you'll be going down there again?” She asked, not bothering to look at [Y/n].
“Yeah.” [Y/n] nodded, her eyes downcast as she looked defeated. She hated herself for being like this.
“I am not stopping you, you're far too stubborn to listen anyways.” Gabriel says, voice monotone and tired.
“I know.” she says, voice barely above a whisper, a meek and powerless voice. Not wanting to agree with Gabriel but the woman is right and it hurts admitting it.
“Don't say I didn't tell you so.”
Not the first time someone told her that, and it didn't end well for her.
History repeats itself.
And as usual, it's her fault for not listening.
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Azrael stood behind the door, ear pressed on the wooden door, eavesdropping.
He is aware that Gabriel can be harsh sometimes and he is also curious.
Can't say what he heard didn't break his heart.
He moves away from the door and leans against the wall, his face expressionless.
He has no reason to cry about it, he knows he had no chance.
A small smile was now on his face and a single tear slid down from his left eye, leaving a wet trail on to his pale cheek.
The door suddenly opens which prompted him to quickly wipe the tear away and composed himself.
He watches as Gabriel walks out of the door and closes the door behind her.
Dark blue eyes meeting dark black ones.
Gabriel's eyes widened ever so slightly when he saw Azrael standing and leaning on the wall near the door, “I thought you left.” she says, eyebrow raised at him.
Azrael chuckled softly, his voice smooth and sweet yet had a tinge of slight bitterness.
“I was curious what you girls were talking about, curiosity kills the cat indeed.” he says with a slight humor in his voice.
Gabriel's eyes softened slightly, “Are you okay?” she asked him, crossing her arms over her chest.
Azrael shakes his head, “No, but I will be eventually.” he says with a small sigh, “Perhaps I should start moving on, besides, I'm starting to get interested in a certain someone.” he murmured, a mischievous grin on his face as remembered a certain archangel who is the acting celestial scribe to the book of life.
“Is it Michael?” she asked and Azrael gave her a disgust and flabbergasted expression, a hand over his chest.
“Excuse me?” he says, dumbfounded, “I may swing both ways but he isn't my type.” he says flatly, Gabriel gave him a side eye.
“Really? I swear both of you have this weird tension. The younglings say they 'ship' you and you two are the perfect representation of old man yaoi whatever that means.”
Azrael almost choked on air, what the fuck? Where did those angels even learn those words—
“Gabriel, what the fuck?”
Gabriel chuckles, nudging the male's shoulder, “I am just kidding.” she says with a teasing tone before humming to herself, “Metatron was it? I barely interact with them nor see them often. They're like Michael but worse, they're usually near father at all times to help him write the book of life so we barely see them in public.” she deadpans before looking at Azrael, “Since you are the angel of death, I supposed you see them often. I can just imagine you annoying them every time you're with them.” she says flatly.
Azrael chuckles, “Indeed, they're rather interesting but for now, I'll resolve my personal issues before acting upon my interest in them.”
“Good. Go to therapy.�� Gabriel says, her lips pressed in a thin line as she looked at Azrael with a deadpan expression.
Azrael pouted a little.
“But I no no wanna...” he whined dramatically with a small laugh as he began to follow Gabriel as they walked away from [Y/n]'s room, the click of their heels slowly faded away as they slowly disappeared from the room.
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Meanwhile,
“Dad, are you okay?” Charlie asked softly, her father staring outside his bedroom window, a lost look on his face.
Charlie was outside the door during her father and her supposed half brother arguing.
She wanted to come inside the room and try to calm both men down, but when she heard Xavier's voice as he talked to their father.
Charlie could hear eons of rage and utter pain in the boy's voice.
It stopped her from intervening, a voice in her mind kept telling her, ‘Don't. He needs this.’
Even if their father was the receiver of those harsh words.
She might not fully know nor understand the pain and suffering Xavier went but when she looked at the boy's [e/c] eyes, she was able to see utter sadness despite the blank expression on his face.
Lucifer was just blankly staring outside the window, his eyes fixated on the outside world but his mind somewhere, lost and drowning in his own self hate.
He hated it. He was not prepared. He was not prepared to see an almost exact replica of himself to arrive at his daughter's doorstep.
He was not prepared to see an exact replica of him filled with anger and sadness.
Seeing Xavier with his own two eyes, he was able to understand a bit of what the boy went through.
And he was the cause of it.
He regretted the things he has done, especially on how he treated [Y/n].
He was young—no, he was stupid. Just stupid.
Nothing can excuse his actions. He was an idiot and a fool.
[Y/n] was there for him, she was his best friend and he treated her like that.
Like a doll he discarded once he got bored.
He was wrong on how he treated her.
He should've done that, he should've loved her properly, treated her properly.
He should've been Xavier's father, the father that the boy needed and the father that the boy could trust.
Not someone he looks at with so much anger.
Terrifying, Xavier's rage reminded him of his own when he fell from grace.
Though, the reasons are highly different.
He loves [Y/n], he still does.
He realized that he still does in fact love the woman when he was separated from her for many, many years.
He would often call out to her without thinking, then remembering ‘Oh, she's not here.’
Falling from grace was enough to slap some sense into him.
He treated an amazing woman like her like garbage.
He's really an asshole.
Lilith cannot compare to [Y/n], he can't remember how many times [Y/n]'s name slips from his lips whenever he argues with Lilith.
It created distance between them.
Lilith couldn't take it anymore and left him.
He was left alone to wallow in self pity. He was left alone to mourn for the woman he left to suffer in her heartbreak which he caused.
He mourned his first love, he mourned his first son.
Which he doesn't deserve to do, considering that it should be the opposite.
To Xavier, he's a dead man. To [Y/n], he's a nobody.
Charlie watches her father with an unreadable expression on her, her hand outstretched as if to reach him but it hesitated midway. Shaking and unsure.
“Dad...?” she softly calls out again, her voice echoing despite the ringing in Lucifer's ears. His daughter's voice sounds like it's echoing in the four corners of his hotel room.
Suffocating. It felt like he was trapped in his own mind. His mistakes echoed like a siren's call to him. Teasing him.
He felt cold. He felt numb.
Snap. Everything stopped. The ringing stopped.
Though, his heart is beating erratically against his ribcage, like a monster threatening to get out of its prison.
He felt utterly numb.
His eyes are scanning his room, gentle streaks of light filtering through the glass panel of his windows giving his room a reddish like hue.
With a deep shaky sigh, he turned around and faced his daughter, his hand gripping his cane clenched ever so slightly.
“Charlie, dear... I would like to be alone at the moment.” he says, hesitantly. Voice quivering in each syllable, each word filled with the regrets of his past and present. Weighing him down.
Charlie's eyes widened ever so slightly before giving her father a small reassuring smile, “Oh! Of course... Excuse me...” she says giving him a small bow before turning around on her heels to walk towards the door. She paused, took a deep breath before looking at her father through her shoulder.
“If you need me, I'll be somewhere around the hotel. I'll always be here for you, dad.” she says with a small smile before turning around once more, twisting the doorknob open and walks out of the door.
The door clicked to a close when she was gone.
Lucifer's tensed shoulders loosened as it drops, a small frown on his beautiful face.
A single tear slips past his eye, the droplet sliding down on his left cheek, leaving a trail on his soft and pale yet rosy cheek.
“I know.” he whispered before a choked sob escaped his lips.
He can feel the stinging sensation around his eyes, vision blurring as tears mess up his sense of sight.
He can feel his legs buckling as if it struggled to carry the weight of his mistakes that he's carrying on his shoulders.
It gave out as he was now on the floor, small sobs could be heard from, his sobs bouncing on the walls of his room, mocking him.
“Why am I crying? I don't deserve to cry. I don't deserve to cry after what I had done.” he says choking on his words, shoulders shaking, trembling.
He hugged himself in an attempt to comfort himself, yet he was met with painful memories of when [Y/n] used to hold him when he was crying.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...” he repeated to himself, rocking back and forth on where he was kneeling like a sinner.
Begging for her forgiveness, yet his repentance can't be heard from her.
‘It's all my fault, it's all my fault.’ thinking these words were like a stab to the heart because it is true.
With his last bit of energy, he lies down on the cold tiled floor. His white suit a pop of color to the redness all around him, his cheeks pressed against the tiles as tears continue to slide down on his pale skin and on to the floor.
“Over, I can't believe it's over, I can't believe the love I lived, to show some other day...” he quietly sang, his voice raspy from all the crying he shifts to let his body face the ceiling, his eyes staring blankly at the chandeliers.
“Listen, I hope that you can hear me...” he sang, propping his elbows on the floor to lift himself up into a kneeling position, his hands trembling, voice cracking with emotions, “As I kneel down and pray with the love I meant to say...” he sang softly, his voice beautiful yet filled with unexplainable regret.
“Shadows, you took away the shadows...”
“Before my life was black and white, though tonight the room's gone gray.”
She was the light of his life, his life was monotone before she came, she was a splash of color to the black and white of his so-called life.
“Golden, all the love you gave was golden,” he sang softly, [Y/n]'s bright smiling face flashes into his mind, a smile that brought so much warmth and happiness into his life, “Golden, I would gladly pay, to show the love I meant to say...”
“Oh, music you made me hear, such music,”
“Silly Lucifer, don't take our elder's words to heart! Their ancient beliefs can't possibly understand your amazing ideas!” [Y/n]'s words echo in his mind, for a brief moment, he could see [Y/n] smiling and giggling at him, her long white dress fluttering against the wind.
His eyes widened when the figment of his imagination of [Y/n] slowly fades away, his eyes widened in fear as he attempted to lift himself up from the floor, his hands outstretched in hopes of reaching her.
Only to grip on to nothing.
“Without you here to guide me, I feel as though I'll fly away...” he muttered, his voice continuing to break as tears continued to stream down his cheeks.
Droplets of his tears falling into the floor, his reflection mirrored into the small puddle of his pain.
“S-sorry,” his voice breaks even more, a simple word that is too late to say, too heavy to speak with his own lips. The very words he wants to say to her.
“Sorry, that's the word I want to sing to you,”
He took a deep shaky breath, his wine red like eyes tired and dull, eyes puffy and red after all the crying he had done, “The other word is stay, to hear the love I meant to say.” he softly sang, small hiccups can be heard.
He's really an idiot.
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deiaiko · 3 days
Text
#20.3 Company
"Where's Dan and Novick?" Grace asked, finding the living room unusually empty.
"They're going to the cinema since Agni gave us a day off today, cluck."
"Is that so?" Of course Agni had thought this far ahead. No wonder their teammates didn't try to wake either of them up. "I think we do need some time off."
"Speaking of, where's Agni?" Gyetang glanced at Grace and Agni's door.
"Ah. He's quite sick right now. I was about to fetch him some medicine and get us breakfast." Grace made his way down the stairs and allowed Bam to follow him.
Gyetang peeked from above. "Would you like me to take over your shift for lunch, cluck?"
Grace considered the offer. He did like cooking, and it usually worked wonders on easing his anxiety. But then Agni came to his mind, and Grace wanted nothing but to stay by his side until he got better. "I would really appreciate it, Gyetang. Sorry about that."
"It's no problem! How about macaroni soup?"
"Sounds good!"
"Got it, cluck." Gyetang gave him a salute and disappeared from his view.
Gyetang's cheerful aura filled some of the emptiness in Grace's chest. It sort of reminded him of Rak and Isu, and it made his heart ache again. He didn't want to cry now– he had cried enough last night, but the corner of his eyes started burning from the unshed tears. The fact that he would never be able to see them again was still a hard pill to swallow.
Bam tugged his shirt, and Grace realized he had been staring into the distance, stopping just in front of the storage room. He gave Bam an apologetic smile and went in, quietly searching between the aisles for the medicine Agni had listed. Bam not once let go of his shirt, as if he was trying to ground him. Surprisingly, it worked, seeing that his mind was brought to the weight of Bam's pull. Grace wondered how much Bam knew, looking at Bam's attempt to comfort him. Hwaryun must've told him what was going on, right? Was it the reason for his visit? Or did Bam just want his company after yesterday's breakdown regarding Rachel? Grace hoped it wasn't the latter.
Pocketing the needed medicine, Grace led them back upstairs to the kitchen where Gyetang had prepared two portions of reheated omelet fried rice and three glasses of orange juice. Looking at it, Grace realized he never had to find out what his old team's favorite foods were. So many moments he had missed, times that he could've used on getting to know them better. How could they still consider him a friend?
Gyetang waved from the living room, pulling Grace out of his daze. "Have you eaten yet, Viole? I can cook you something quick, cluck."
Grace could hear Bam's stomach growl, yet Bam didn't say anything. Grace figured Bam was probably torn between accepting and not being a bother to Gyetang. So he placed his hand on Bam's shoulder. "You can have Agni's share. I don't think he can stomach it right now anyway. I will get him some snacks instead."
So they both sat in the cafeteria, while Gyetang resumed playing on the game console. Bam stole careful glances at Grace between taking a spoonful, although Grace tried to ignore the worried look and ate his own ration as well. He wasn't really in the chatty mood right now, and he was thankful that Bam didn't try to start any conversation, or worse, pepper him with questions.
The food tasted bland, but maybe it was just him since Bam seemed to enjoy it. Grace finished the meal quickly. The uneasy and cold shinsu coming from their dorm room was getting harder to ignore. "Sorry, I can't accompany you for long. I really need to check on Agni."
Bam locked eyes with him before looking away, swallowing his food. "Okay."
Grace felt guilty for leaving his guest unattended, but he was more restless if he left Agni for longer. Even if Agni currently wasn't in immediate danger, Grace just couldn't help but worry. Still, he felt the need to make it up to Bam. So he put his hand on Bam's shoulder and pulled him into a side hug, "Thank you for stopping by. It means a lot to me."
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Bam leaned his head to the embrace. "I will stay here for a while, if that's okay."
The unspoken 'I will be here if you need me' was clear to Grace. A warm feeling filled in his heart and he knew everything would eventually be okay again.
"Of course. Make yourself at home." Grace gave Bam a few pats on the back before pulling away and making his way to the kitchen to wash the dishes. "Is there anything you would like to do in the meantime, Bam?"
Gyetang overheard Grace's raised voice from across the room. "You're welcome to join me, cluck! The game is more fun with multiple players."
The offer seemed to pique Bam's interest. Bam looked at Grace with twinkling eyes, as if searching for approval that he shouldn't need to ask for. Grace returned with a nod and a warm smile, knowing very well that at this point Bam hadn't gotten the luxury of being able to play games, let alone with a friend.
After putting the dishes to dry, Grace rummaged through the kitchen cabinet to find some salty crackers. He put them on a tray along with the juice and a bottle of water. Before going into his dorm, he cast one last glance at Bam and Gyetang. "I will be back for lunch. Just knock if you need me."
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starfxkr · 1 day
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trailer park!jj and toxic!jj live in the same house… two sides of the same coin. now im thinking ab finally getting fed up with him not locking in with you and making him jealous 🙂‍↕️ he finds out youre getting a little too close to some guy and he peeps it and gets irked. hes older now so hes not as impulsive as he used to be but that doesnt mean he wont do smth. probs embarrasses you in front of said dude as usual. and i like to think about nurse!reader w this one, but he really kicks it up a notch when he takes out one of the women his age that Hates you on a date, cleans himself up pretty well (finking ab whe white tshirt n jeans fit he wore to visit john b in jail mmmhmnnm) and it’s probably the cleanest youve seen him. hes waiting for her outside her trailer on his bike when you see him n youre curious bc… whyre you dressed up if not to see me 😒 n e ways he knows hes got you when you come up to him after tending to your patients for the day n pops the question— his sleazy ass is looking at you above his sunglasses talking about some “‘bouta go on our fifth date, me n her. ‘might just make us exclusive… i got her flowers too ‘cus im a gentleman like that” which sends you into a fury of rage bc THATS what youve been asking for. the dates, flowers, rides on his bike, and most importantly— the title of you being his girl!!?? and hes giving it to some old hag that doesnt deserve him… he plays dirty w the age gap/maturity differences hes soo sick. thank god hes not with kitten bc itd get ugly… but imagining that makes u think hmmnnmm
the way he plays with nurse!reader bc he low-key feels guilty abt stringing you along because youre so smart and got a good head on your shoulders...this is the only thing that can really make you mad and you come to his place raising hell after because you asked for him to BE FUCKIN NORMAL and he wouldn't so you moved on and now he wanna play games????
kitten woulda pushed that trailer into the marsh. no question about it. and of course all her 'irrational behavior' makes him go "see this is why me n you won't work. you're still fuckin young n'stupid." ohhh he shouldnt have said that...she's fuckin all his friends
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petruchio · 2 hours
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okay okay okay BUT okay follow up so
Katniss is a provider, yes? and it’s very hard for her to let down her guard and be provided for, but Peeta manages it, and is one of the few that can … as so in a real way, for the hunter, Peeta represents sustenance
and this gets me thinking … Peeta is an artist, and his first encounter with Katniss is seeing her as a source of beauty, of song, and subsequently, he paints her, both on canvas and as the canvas, and is not shy about telling her that her beauty is his weakness (this boy, I tell you) and so for Peeta, the artist, Katniss represents beauty
and (hear me out) isn’t that just a lovely reversal of “bread and circuses” (this sense of excess) to “sustenance and beauty?” (things we need to survive)
and I need to go stare pensively out a window about what all this means
oh… my god. OH MY GOD you are a genius. YES.
love as food but also love as art. and the way it slots perfectly because love for katniss IS food, her providing food — her confusion over her love for gale being centered around the fact that they both provide each other with FOOD. but then to our peeta reading, peeta IS food for katniss. he *is* bread, he *is* the dandelion, he *is* sustenance and nourishment and being provided FOR instead of being the one providing. peeta is food that doesn’t have to be hunted — he is soft baked bread and gathered greens and a helping hand that gives instead of taking. peeta = bread = panem.
and then there’s love as art. love as something that so many deem to be frivolous but in reality is what makes life worth living. love is a song sung by a five year old, love is the color of the sky that is the same bright orange as the flames of your lover’s dress. peeta paints katniss over and over, katniss IS art to peeta. she is beauty for no reason, not a decorated cake made to be sold but something that’s beautiful for the sake of beauty. katniss calls it his weakness, but peeta simply calls it having an eye for beauty. if peeta is the food provided for the hunter, katniss is the muse that inspires the artist. so katniss = art = circuses.
PANEM ET CIRCUSES. they complete one another, they’re two sides of the same coin, they’re the missing piece to the other’s puzzle.
but then… they’re also those same things themselves. peeta loves katniss as an artist because what is peeta also! peeta is a PERFORMER. peeta is “circuses” — “if it werent for the baby” “because she came here with me” but then katniss loves peeta as a HUNTER. and katniss is food herself, she is her own nourishment, her own kind of “panem,” right down to her name, “if you can find yourself you’ll never go hungry”
everything is love and everything is food and everything is art. it’s the dandelion: the beauty in the flower, the nourishment in the roots. oh god. it’s all coming together. please excuse me while i go scream into a pillow
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fallenfromtheskies · 1 year
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also sasha still not recognising the work juno put into himself and how much he grew and changed and how she still thought of hima s the depressed suicidal detective only wanting to go out in a blaze of glory
and the narrative parallel of her being the self-sacrificing one willing to die because she couldn't meet her own expectations and just wanting to do something
she just reminded me so much of early seasons juno in this ep and i loved these parallels
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magicicephoenix · 5 months
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i think they are a bit like brothers
bonus:
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khruschevshoe · 27 days
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There's just something very specific about homoerotic character-enveloping friendships from around 2010 where they're semi-aware that gay people exist but queerbaiting isn't quite a thing yet sp their relationship consumes the narrative and changes them both irrevocably forever and they end in tragedy but the ending is JUST open enough for the fic writers to wriggle into that just makes me go fucking FERAL
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fluffydice · 4 months
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Lol I wonder if Kusuo lost that final little bit of self worth once he stopped the volcano. Like that was his whole life goal all those years. He didn’t even give himself time to think of a future beyond that. And once he stopped it, what was there left for him to do? He’d served his purpose.
I genuinely think losing his powers at his young age wasn’t really a good idea. All of his worth is conflated with his powers, both in his own mind and in others. Think of how excited Toritsuka and Kusuke were that he was getting them back, regardless of how anxious it made Kusuo. Accepting them as part of himself was a good step in the right direction, but he needs to learn how to acknowledge that he is a person who has value beyond what his powers can do. It’s something I think that can only come with age for him. He needs time to unlearn everything he’s grown up believing.
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manawari · 9 months
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Categorizing the MCs from the manhwas I've read because why not ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
Overpowered, badass, (has zero chill):
Sung Jin-woo, Zephyr, Han Islat/Han Seo-jin, Gwon Gangu/Cassian, Seo Joo-heon, Arthur Leywin, Yoon Seul, Arut (Deon Hart)
Just wants to live a peaceful life and yet, life keeps testing them:
Yu Ijin, Yoon Gamin, Deon Hart
Needs therapy, likes putting themselves in danger, knows how to scam/trick people to their delight, "what's death? Is it my middle finger?", absolute headaches (yet you love them anyway):
Kim Dokja, Kim Gongja, Lloyd Frontera, Cale Henituse, Seo Joo-heon
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spacedlexi · 4 months
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people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem
"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them
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littencloud9 · 1 month
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if you listen closely you can hear the sounds of my screams
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arthursknight · 2 years
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just... take it.
i realised that one of my favourite scenes in merlin didn’t have any background music (probably because it wasn’t mastered due to it being, sadly, a deleted scene).
i decided to fix that. just... trust me on this one, okay? (and please do not repost anywhere without credit. thus the watermark!)
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deiaiko · 8 months
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#15 - Memento
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firehydrant00 · 5 months
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average interaction
greetings frank the human boy
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cheer-soli-doodles · 6 months
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Various Two Sides of The Same Coin doodles
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waroferas · 30 days
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(trying not to run head-first into the nearest wall) ravio is cool . i like ravio
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