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#glorified self insert

datakisser · 1 month

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Was messing around with the adorable piccrew by @/star-trek-dumb-comics and decided to draw what I made!

[without overlay under the cut]

#Is this new oc a glorified self insert? Perhaps.#I deserve a treat damnit!#star trek oc #vulcan oc #star trek tng #star trek sona #I guess???#squishbugs art

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catboyaramaki · 2 months

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Yeah what the fuck ever I'll post my gay ass little OC x Canon "doodle" because I like the way I drew Aramaki

#art #oc tag #one piece oc #oc x canon #that guy is a glorified self insert and I'm not proud of it but WHATEVER #he/him for the oc btw 🙏

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rena-yume · 1 year

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The writers either legit forgot Salem exists or they don't have the mental capacity to remember someone other than rwby/j existed in the series

Maybe make rwby ask the blacksmith lady about her? Maybe a way to defeat her with ever after magic stuff??

The tree literally created the brothers, it obviously could undo whatever curse they put on Salem and oz or fix them or something, a soul knife wish thing de-ages Jaune why wouldn't ever after have more op items they could use/make?

Freaking make oz or Ruby or whatever do what Alyx did (exept they're still alive but missing a part of themselves or something) and have that fix Salem/kill her like she wanted? And end oz's curse as well

But no let's just keep this The Irrelevant RWBY Filler Volume

#hope you had fun glorifying suicide and shipping a teenager with a cringy 40yo self insert crwby #amazing writing 10/10 #yeah just give us jelly and peanut butter idiots lore #but be careful not to touch the main villain again oh no please don't #rwde #these are ideas I came up with in literally 10 seconds #but the ever after has potential to be relevant and actually push the plot forward

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zetta27 · 1 year

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I want to hear about Ghirra (and what’s… Going On with him and Pazuul) 👀 spare us some lore crumbs?

Ghirra's lore is still wildly wip but tldr Ghirra sees Pazuul as a sort savior, not necessarily for his Narmer talk but because he vaguely remembers his own death (possibly post man in the wall encounter in nw) and pazuul waking him up from that (becoming an archon). Pre archon Harrow did try going after erra during the whole Natah arc (sorry for her but Erra stole the show), possibly out of intrigue later genuine intention of helping, feeling invested in what Erra was going through, although eventually failing and feeling remorse with Erra's unnecessary death. I see the animal archon heads as almost parasitic entities that alter and twist their "vessels"?'s personality and wishes to their benefit (why pazuul seems like a collage of different aspects of Erra for example, haven't quite decided what's the deal whit the other 3) so upon Harrow becoming one whit one the intrigue and desire to help became an obsession and source of devotion, Erra now Pazuul is almost to the level of a deity in his mind. Pazuul rolls with that and as to why he made Harrow into an archon in the first place idk, he probably had the spare head lying around or maybe a little bit of Erra had a play in that.

Ghirra has vague memories of nw and Natah/the lotus but largely believes the Narmer narrative, she feels familiar but he sticks to the traitor idea

Ghirra tolerates the other 3 archons although out of them Nira is probably tolerated the least (Natah's dialogue on her possibly manipulating Pazuul)

The operator technicality being harrow is now stuck in transference as Ghirra

#ghirra #this is starting to sound more like a wild ramble sorry for that #ghirra started as a glorified self insert #all the lore came later but I'll start writing it down as I get a chance #as for the relationship between the 2 I'll leave to interpretation for now

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sketchyallstar · 2 years

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Haven’t even finalized my first League of Legends OC design and I’m making a second OC, this is just who I am on a fundamental level.

I haven’t posted my art in some time but I’ve recently fallen in love with a new character concept, and I just had to share it with someone. Still working out backstory and powers but essentially I started from the perspective that I love Star Guardians, and it would be really difficult to have my first League OC, Phaedra, get a Star Guardian skin and be part of the lore because that OC is a mutant Void construct skeletal butterfly creature that speaks in clicks and trills, so if that OC were to have any origin it would be that she’s from an alien planet. This doesn’t vibe well with the rest of the Star Guardian skin line, where everyone is pretty close to human and can attend high school in Valoran City. So to remedy my desire to interact with fictional characters in a certain fictional setting, I decided to design a more human-like character. The basic gist of Cora Baker is that she’s a detective who uses necromancy to talk to ghosts about the crimes she’s investigating. She’s a private eye, like Sherlock Holmes and Batman and Jessica Jones (my primary influences), and she lives in Zaun but she takes jobs in Piltover as well. Work is work, and in Zaun her job is particularly dangerous. Crime bosses and Chem Barons alike are not in the business of letting some little upstart dig into their enterprises, so she’s had to learn how to fight. As you can see she’s got her investigator mode with her tools all in her satchel, her bowler hat with goggles, and her long overcoat, but she’s picked up boxing and she drops the accessories when she needs to brawl. I also toyed with the idea of giving her a scooter for a mode of speedy travel in a match, since she’d need a speedy getaway if she had lots of enemies. To give her a more distinct visual identity and to tie into her necromancy powers, I made her a Corvid-Vastaya, half Vastayan and half human. She has feathers and an eye for shiny things but she doesn’t have any Vastayan powers, unless you’d count her ability to learn necromancy and summon ghosts as a power unique to Vastaya. Also I’m not 100% sold on the name I chose, even if I do like it. Cora sounds like Corvid a little bit, and Baker is meant to allude to Baker Street, the home of Sherlock Holmes. I also thought her necromancy powers and her Vastayan heritage could justify crows following her around, and there could be three that fly around her in-game. So yeah, this is what I have so far, not counting all my other little notes brainstorming her character into existence. With this OC, I’m just trying not to fall too far into any characters that already exist in League, like Quinn (human with bird) or Xayah (bird vastaya with dark and secretive design) or Caitlin (Piltover detective cop), because unless you’re set on making a void-corrupted butterfly heralding the end of days, you end up having to thread the needle so carefully, and it’s actually a bit exhausting how much research I’ve had to do to thread that needle.

#my art #art #oc #league of legends oc #league of legends champion #league of legends #league #lol #If Phaedra was my OC to be completely original and present unique ideas #then Cora is my OC representation of me specifically as if I could be a fantasy character in a fighting game #Phaedra is a pure character design concept OC #Cora is a glorified self-insert OC #and they’re both incredibly valid

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determinedwriter · 7 months

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Hey so if you don’t like my stories or one shots that contain SA, but don’t have to read them. I’ll always put trigger warnings in the tags. For someone who has gone through some unfortunate things relating to it, it’s therapeutic to write and read fanfics about. I understand if this isn’t your cup of tea or if it’s just too triggering for you, but please don’t hate me for it.

I’m just a human who writes through her trauma. Thanks y’all

Also I have daddy issues so that’s why I’m constantly writing some form of iron dad lol

#tony stark is a good dad #girl dad Tony stark #my oc is a self insert #it’s just fanfiction please don’t murder me #triggers will always be in the tags #writing is my therapy #I don’t glorify SA by the way #I want a dad like Tony #Tony Stark adopt me challenge #this is why I’m trying to shift #Tony loves my OC like I want to be loved #daddy issues #lol #ok peace #deuces

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stargirl-writes · 5 months

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heal

pairing : f! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 3.5 k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

in which anakin skywalker chooses to run away with you before all is lost in mustafar.

tags : au, angst!!, hurt/no comfort

warnings : toxic love, dark fic, ptsd, and reader being so dependent on anakin, suicidal behavior

notes : my reader character being a healer is my self indulgent insert 😭

i've sat w this 4 so long cause i was like 'realistically, what would happen if anakin ran away?' and i think i've finally made up my mind abt it.

time is moving fast for this fic because i wanted to cover so much, so heads up for the skips!

ALSO, ear-ringing apologist perspective. if u can't handle reader being blind to faults, this is not for u haha!

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

At least, it was something you want believed in.

The clone war that raged on revealed just how much people can be persuaded to do horrible things when their survival is at stake.

You underestimated that instinct yourself. The burning desperation to not lose your Anakin Skywalker. You thought, you would have killed for him, the way he would for you.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the one to tell you how Anakin became irredeemable.

It was a blur how you flew to Mustafar despite it. You needed Anakin to admit to it, you needed to take him away from what he'll become.

The crimes he committed made you feel sick, septic like a festering wound.

But, whether you love what you love.

Or live in divided ceaseless revolt against it, what you love is your fate.

You've been so alone. So much so, you can only define a time with Anakin, and without him.

It was gradual. It couldn't have been some higher power that destined you to him, He had been a General of a war, and you, the Healer. It was all odds, that you fell in the right place at the wrong time.

An unwilling hero, and a glorified murderer.

He was crafted to be a tool in the war. Divinely created by the Force with the purpose of bringing balance. And in a war, that meant doing damage, killing.

Every victory he had was a stark contrast to yours.

Every life he takes, be it a droid or a separatist, is a win. And every life you lose is a name added to the long list of casualties.

You and Anakin were opposites.

So, the shock of it remains, because somehow along the way, Anakin loved you. And you loved him. You had each other to cling to.

The terror of What if it doesn't last, What if there's no one else? What happens if it goes back to being alone? persists.

And you might not belong anywhere else.

But you were his. As he is yours. Not in the manner of possession. Yours in the way of devotion.

Mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love.

You knew that Anakin's love was conditional. You were only the one in front of him. You didn't misunderstand. You let him use you anyway.

It's not like you were loving him unconditionally, it was because you were terrified to be lonely.

At least, in the beginning, you believed so.

Most days were occupied by your duties. And Anakin would love you in a way that is shaped like fingers wrapped around a throat. Incessant. Hungry. Teeth deep in possession. Making up for the little time, holding you against him as if he was bracing himself that someday you won't be around.

It felt like he was always saying goodbye.

So, though your heart was nearly breaking out of your ribs, you flew by yourself to Mustafar.

A pile of lifeless Separatist figures greeted you in horror.

It was true. Anakin had gone to the dark side. What he did with those children...

The fear consumed you like a corrosion, but still, you stood in front of him, begging him to come back.

Anakin had carried a deep malaise when you had found him. It was almost emanating from his blood-stained robe, a coldness, a deadly assurance.

"You're not supposed to be here," Anakin says in a strangled voice. His hands firmly holding your arms.

The color of his eyes startled you. It was like looking at a ghost, and all that was left was an unending rage. You fought to not let your fear swallow you.

"Anakin, we have to go" Your lips quivered, not entirely sure what you were planning.

There will never be escaping the things he's done.

You want him to go away with you, anyway.

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

For a while, it was quiet. Anakin's glossy blue eyes were gazing at you, in conflict, and begging to be understood.

"I can't... Don't you see? I've restored justice to the galaxy" He abruptly lets go, and turns, concealing his face away from your sight. "The things I've done... I can't, there's no running away from it"

The guilt he feels leads him to think that the only path now is through the one he sacrificed his morality for.

"No," you struggled, voice failing to hide your anguish. "Anakin, you can't let this be your fate. Run away with me." You pleaded, eyes filled with tears.

A life of loneliness. With no one, the way it used to.

Then, Anakin half turns. He surveys your willingness to take him as he is. Maybe, even wanting to believe it.

You have always loved Anakin, even the parts you have not understood.

Perhaps, this was the similarity that bound you together. Burning devotion. One that allows you to see past your moral code.

You gave so much to the war. You'd run yourself spent from the hours. You fought so hard to keep people from dying. You'd never taken anything but this. A chance at life. Away from it all.

"I would've done anything you asked of me" His voice reveals his devastation.

You stepped forward, "Then come with me, Leave it all behind, I need you"

You held your breath, half convinced that this may very much be the end of things.

But Anakin takes your hand, and you don't waste a minute more to take him away in your ship.

Your hands shook the entire time.

The galaxy was silent when the war ended.

Mace Windu's attempt to assassinate the Chancellor made the Jedi an enemy of the Empire.

It triggered an Order that made clone soldiers turn against their Generals. The Jedi are hunted down for treason.

You and Anakin will never find security again.

The atmosphere was thick with emotions that were strained by the abruptness of events. It was making it so much harder to breathe. To live with the truth of it.

All three years of the war are reduced to two moments; Anakin falling into Palpatine's manipulation, and Anakin choosing to run away with you.

You caught yourself slipping away. Tucked in a corner of your mind where you can feel safe.

The healer's oath replays in your mind, the cruelest reminder.

Blind to faults, blind to good. Serve to save, not to see.

As the jedi healer, you weren't allowed to deny patients. You wondered whether that played into role when you stomached all the horrible things Anakin did. Serve to save, despite, despite, despite...

You landed in a remote place on your home planet of Hapes.

It was a secluded cabin that you used to go to when you were younger. Surrounded by a lake that stretches as far as your eyes can see. It was the first thing that came to mind when you set your ship on autopilot.

Anakin was quiet the entire time.

You, too, became paralyzed by the events that has unraveled.

For a few days, it remained like that.

Though the event has passed, your body can't quite regulate.

It still feels as though someone will find you. And take Anakin with them. You knew your hypervigilance was a consequence of your trauma, but knowing doesn't mean you can let the feeling go.

Even Anakin responds to mild stressors as if he was still in the war. He'd not let you off his sight the first few weeks.

You felt as though Anakin was trying to process everything in his mind. And you grew terrified of his growing silence. Knowing Anakin meant knowing his tendencies to vacillate violently. The reality of what he had done would set and it'd twist into something septic. An unending shame.

You were convinced that he'd have killed himself from it.

But then he'd stare at you deeply as if he was committing you to memory. He'd coddle your face in his palm. He'd hold your hand, hands that are capable of so much rage, and so much tenderness. He'd hold you tight against him in bed, the way he used to.

He can't quite communicate it through words yet, so he'd rely on his touch to let you know that he was still here. Your anxieties eased after. He needed to detangle it on his own. You'd be there whenever he is ready.

Obi-Wan Kenobi appears the next month.

It was through luck that you were the one to open the door.

You knew Obi-Wan would want Anakin to answer for the crimes he's committed.

You won't let him.

"What do you want?" You say cautiously. Stepping forward to the Jedi Master to stop him from entering your new home.

Obi-wan furrows his eyebrows at your action. He gazes at you for a moment before speaking up. "You know what he's done, [Name]"

"The Republic has fallen. The system that replaced it won't hold him to what he's done. It's the very reason for its existence, anyway"

Obi-Wan's eyebrows flashed hearing your words. It seemed as though you'd be the last person he'd expect to exhibit such... heartlessness.

"And what, do you intend to keep him here forever?"

You looked down, fiending an expression of indifference you learnt from Anakin.

"I'm more selfish than he is"

Obi-Wan sighs. There were no more Jedi Council to hold Anakin accountable. You wonder if Obi-Wan had gone looking for him out of the responsibility he felt he had. You could use that.

"If you have any love left for Anakin, You'll leave him with me" You persuaded.

Obi-Wan sharply looks at you. You knew he was being torn apart by his mind and heart.

The door swings, revealing Anakin who appears behind you.

Anakin's arm extends to put you behind him. Obi-Wan was caught, stricken by the sight of his apprentice. You held on to Anakin's forearm.

You held your breath.

Then, Obi-Wan opens his arm to hug Anakin.

Anakin froze, perhaps not expecting his Master to embrace him after...

He turns his head to look at you, then back to his Master. And he reluctantly wraps his arm around Obi-Wan.

You exhaled finally.

You saw Obi-Wan's glossy eyes as he pulled away. He may not forgive Anakin for all the things he's responsible for, but his love for him surpasses all the anger he has.

Gaining his master's acceptance, Anakin became recognizable once more.

However, Obi-Wan could not stay. Perhaps, he's grown sick of stomaching the love he had for Anakin. It was not an easy feeling to be fond of.

When Obi-Wan left, Anakin finally came to you.

It hauntingly paralleled the moment he broke down after he lost his mother. After he gave in to his rage. Only this time, he didn't hold the pose of defiance and came undone, weeping for what he'd done.

You held him and told him that what matters now is what he'll choose to do.

And in the months that come, Anakin has fought to deserve your forgiveness.

He wanted to earn your love.

As a healer, your experience with foraging natural medicine made you more equipped to build a sustainable life. In six months, you were able to make this house by the lake a place to call home.

But, Anakin is being dragged through time. He'd do his best to help, but you can feel his... silence. The weight of it, this was not the life he was groomed to have. He has always lived off the adrenaline. The absence of it makes him constantly feel as though he is at the other end of the high.

It'd worry you whenever he comes home late from a hunt. He's always been reckless, that much hasn't changed. He'd come home covered in tissue deep cuts, bruised muscles, and a dead-pan look in his eyes. It was a topic that you tried to communicate— and a topic Anakin would respond defensively to.

"It's nothing" He'd dismiss whilst you were dressing the wound.

You'd press the clean gauze over his skin, on the brink of anxiety. He'd wince and take the gauze from your hand.

And you'd stand up and leave, because your patience would have run out by then.

It upset you how he always stands on a cliff to wait for the winds to swoon him over because he won't jump, he won't make that decision himself.

Your breaths were shallow as you tried to calm down after yelling about how his passivity over danger was eating at you. You needed him to try. Because you can't save him on your own.

"I'm sorry" Anakin looks down, receding. " I just don't know how to do this" He admits, eyes wide, childlike, helpless.

And you thaw, breaths shallow as you fought to not cry from the anger.

"Anakin, if you don't..." You began, looking down at the ground as if the words would appear before you there. "if you don't want this anymore, you can go"

Because the entire year you have spent in this cabin, it felt like time has frozen. You hoped that in time, you and Anakin would find the courage to move past the war. Of course, it was futile, you can never take back what you've given to the effort.

Whatever is left of you and Anakin is all there is now. And sometimes, it feels like there is nothing. Just ghosts of who you once were. You weren't sure if being with you was making any difference at all.

You were selfish, but not enough to keep him as he wastes away. You'd let him go, even if it'd cripple you forever.

Anakin grabs both of your shoulders firmly, forcing you to look up to him.

"Why do you think I came with you?" Anakin's voice was stern. His eyes fixed, determined to imprint words to your heart.

You held on to his arm, swallowing your anguish. "I only meant that if I'm not doing you any good, you should—"

"And where would I go?" He interrupts, unrelenting.

"I don't know" You admitted. You're ruining him. You've done this to him. You should let him go.

His grip loosened, and his lips kept opening and closing as if he was eating up the words before letting it leave his mouth.

"—I'm trying, [Name]"

"I'm giving you my life, I don't have anything larger to give" His voice breaks, and his head dips. "I'm trying" he repeats.

You felt his tears warm against your clavicle. Your fingers tangling with his hair.

"I know, Ani" You coo gently. "We'll try together" You promised.

It was becoming clearer that he was alleviating his sins by trying to kill the entity that once controlled him. It was also becoming harder to see a monster when all you see is Anakin, the love you abandoned everything for.

Anakin, who was sold as a slave, and then freed, only to be chained to another lifelong servitude through the Jedi. Anakin, who was dropped in the middle of a war, and made responsible for a child whilst being a child himself.

The Jedi Order relied on his nature of winning, despite not agreeing with his tactics. He'd be patronized for his violence, which his life would soon be defined by. Anakin's worst action is murder, the same way his best action is murder. Because if he doesn't answer to the shots fired, he'd be the one receiving them.

He was never afforded any space to become anything else.

Except when he's with you.

Anakin can become cruel, the same way he is loving. Two truths can exist at the same time.

And with the months that flew by, you watched as Anakin continually chose to not let his darkness define him.

You were learning things about him that you couldn't have had during the war. The way he neatly keeps inventory of his tools. The intense focus in his eyes when he is concentrating. The way the wood creaks— the cadence of his steps. All committed to memory because no one else can know him the way you do.

He told you, you saved him. And you wept, unsure whether what you did was really an act of selflessness.

Living with him became easier. No more effort to try to gain his love. No approval, no admiration to attain. There is no role to play, no one to convince. Just, being. There was so much time, and the only thing that mattered was; how long do we have each other?

Most days, Anakin would carry his grief so well, that you'd forget it was even there. He'd work to minimize it, to live with it. However, when the dark comes, he has no control over his dreams. and the overwhelming shame and guilt seep.

It had been two years when you woke up abruptly to find the space beside you empty.

You grabbed your robe, the cold midnight air felt crisp against your skin. Finding Anakin was easy. He'd always wander towards the edge of the lake, staring at the moons.

"It's cold, Ani, come back to sleep" You urged, but Anakin's gaze was far away.

He has chopped some of his hair, and it looked the way it used to during the war. It startles you sometimes to remember how young he still was.

"I had a dream" He speaks softly, arms finding a way to snake around you so he'd press you against him. "It felt as real as you now" His gaze lands on you.

It terrified you to ask, but you did anyway.

"We had a child"

Oh.

You chuckled in surprise. Stepping back to process what he said. It just never seemed to occur to you, then. Though you have never dismissed the idea, it just felt like you were barely surviving to try to raise a child.

Anakin smiles when he realizes he made you flustered. "Good thing it was only a dream?"

You let out a breathless laugh, somehow relieved that Anakin was not seriously considering it.

"Yes," You weren't ready. You may never find it in yourself to ever be ready.

"We're not bringing a child now, not like this"

Anakin's expression melts, "Yes, the empire is growing stronger" His guilt resurfaces.

"I never imagined it to be like this for us," He thinks out loud,

"We have to make the best of what we have" You sigh.

"I've been thinking" Anakin begins, "maybe, there is still something that can be done"

You try steadying your breath, somehow bracing yourself for this moment; when he'll want to fight again.

It was everything he was made for. You knew that, you just didn't think it'd be in under a short period.

Something was screaming inside you. A fear, that you thought had gone when you ran away with Anakin. It was telling you that you were going to lose him. And you, selfishly, want to stop him. He can't... if he goes, he'll die. And you can't even begin to imagine what'll happen to you if he dies.

"How?" You asked despite yourself.

"Ahsoka mentioned something about a rebellion," He says, voice thick with something he hasn't had before. Hope.

"The galaxy needs changing" He steps forward.

You shook your head, overcome by the anxiety of it. "Anakin, I'm never going back"

He turns on his heel, eyes narrowed at your proclamation. "I didn't ask you to come back"

You tilt your head, "Of course, you weren't" Though you knew you were being unfair, just the idea of it was sending stress already.

Anakin's eyebrows knit. "I'm only thinking out loud, it's one thing to consider it but another to act on it" He defends.

Though, you know this is where it begins. And you were responding defensively because you knew where it would lead.

Anakin will forever feel as though he has to restore the galaxy to how it was before he helped destroyed it. It won't be long until he'd despise himself for choosing to stay here with you. Especially since it's been drilled into him that he's supposed to be the one to bring balance to the force.

Whether he loves you or lives in a divided ceaseless revolt against it, what he chooses to love is your fate.

His purpose or you.

Going would give him his closure.

Going would anchor you to the hells of your biggest fear.

"Anakin, please don't go where I can't follow" Your voice broke, begging. It was selfish to want to keep him for the second time.

And you weren't sure whether your love would be enough for Anakin to stay.

Not when it only brought him here, a home by the lake, forever standing on thin ice that always threatened to break under.

You were living under the false pretense of security. All of this, the house, the lake, the isolation, are reminders that you and Anakin will never go back to normalcy, no matter how much you pretend.

A knife may dull, but its purpose remains to cut.

Anakin's expression softens and he presses his lips on the temples of your forehead.

You were slowly understanding that the entire galaxy's fate was carried inside Anakin Skywalker.

The chosen one.

Every decision he made was informed by that pressure. No matter how personal, it always builds to a path that he can't control, because it's already laid out for him.

Created by the force, to be used by the force.

So you can't find the heart to be angry when he left.

You decided it would be hopeless to try to stop him. Anakin has this view that everything in his life, he has to work to earn. To deserve.

Even this... freedom that you have.

He has to contribute to it, in this perverse grandiose action as to fight the Empire. So he can accept that you do indeed love him.

He has to seize this opportunity with Ahsoka. He is more autonomous of his power now. He is once again engaging in something that's risking his life. He can fulfill his destiny.

It didn't make it any less painful.

You had to inspire confidence in him, otherwise, he'd doubt. So, you pushed all your feelings away and smiled when you kissed him goodbye.

You never left the war. The two years you stole were only stalling the inevitable. Perhaps, two years was too generous.

"Bring him back, please" You took Ahsoka aside. Ahsoka nods uncommitedly. For, she won't promise what she can't deliver.

And once again, you have found yourself alone.

He swore he'd have done anything for you.

Just not this one.

His belief that he has no inherent right to life; and has to work to earn anything made you feel as though you were his... prize. A trophy. In which he'd fight for to retain but not value enough to take care of.

He should've stayed. It's good he left.

Because now that you have nothing, you're finally able to detangle how Anakin doesn't love you. Not in the way you thought. Anakin loves that he has you.

You have always put his wellness first, that now, when you are not so worried by walking carefully around his hurt, you are able to feel yours.

Perhaps, losing Anakin was good. You can finally put yourself first. Whilst he still seeks answers in the past

There is no going back to the way it was. You tried living 'normally' and it just became a bitter reminder that you are forever changed.

Acceptance of that and lending yourself a little more compassion might just be the beginning of your healing.

footnote

i'm obsessed with the writing style where authors strikes through the text ! it's such a smart way to imply that the character that's narrating is choosing not to allow those thoughts and so it looks like it's been scribbled out .

also, quoting ka applegate on relationships not lasting outside the war :

"wars don't end happily. not ever. often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. some people who were brave and fearless in a war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. "

#anakin skywalker #anakin (ciella's ver)#star wars #sw #anakin x reader #anakin x you #star wars anakin #anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin star wars #anakin skywalker fic #fanfic #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x female reader

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mutfruit-salad · 13 days

Note

i find the way fans are already shipping cooper with lucy over her black love interest very telling of the clueless white supremacy and media illiteracy in the fandom. coop and lucy are obviously being setup as a father-daughter duo who need to learn caution/kindness from each other to survive, but these weirdos can’t have their white-man fave without a self-insert stand-in for 1 season. and the way people are glorifying cooper’s character is a load of bs - a morally greg white guy who realises he endorsed and was sympathetic to a massive war crime/political injustice… so he goes on to indiscriminately kill/hurt more people who have no idea of, nor say in the bigger picture that he was complicit in… is sooo boring and nothing new. also, giving him a biracial daughter as an accessory to show he’s Not Racist isn’t something we’ve seen half of a million fuckin times before 🤪 the way the show back-tracked on fallout’s message of blind american nationalism and militarism being a problem to It’s All Capitalism’s Fault, seemingly in reaction to the US currently endorsing and aiding in foreign war crimes, and past ones becoming common-knowledge, is horseshit on a platter.

I find the complete lack of a character for his daughter really horrifying- how she only exists to die dramatically for the sake of his sadness. It's odd because his wife is a well-established important character, yet their daughter is not allowed to be a person.

Fallout, in general, has had a habit of completely ignoring racism- presenting the prewar world as some fully integrated post racism utopia. Which is weird when the games regularly display overt anti Chinese (and broader anti Asian) sentiments in prewar logs and ads. This is a problem both the classic games AND the bethesda games have- racism has always been a touchy subject to the devs of the series and it seems like every game they've been content to ignore it, occasionally invoking it for horror or stumbling headlong into depicting it without realizing.

The way Ghoulgins regrets his past and just takes it out on everyone around him is absurd and plays into a lot of very hostile ideas the character peddles.

People shipping Ghoulgins with Lucy is baffling to me also considering he spends the entire series physically abusing her. People just don't want to acknowledge Max's existence, I have noticed. I know her and Ghoulgins get closer by the end, but it's after he's done just unspeakably cruel things to her- and you're right that it is absolutely framed as a father/daughter relationship.

I would also like to point out that the series has always criticized capitalism as well- but would generally frame it as sort of tangled up in American imperial ambition- with one feeding into the other. They were two halves of the same coin.

Vault Tec's entire existence in the classic games was selling smoke- profiting off of the extreme tension and stress of US military buildup- a process which would always inevitably end in disaster: either with Vault Tec going under or brinksmanship coming to its inevitable end.

Vault Tec (and the entire idea of luxury bunkers as a whole) WAS a critique of capitalism, and how it goes hand-in-hand with the American military industrial complex. It was selling the fear of annihilation to the populace. They didn't need to be some secretive controlling force to achieve any of this.

Making Vault Tec the sole antagonist, and the driving force of the apocalypse, is both deeply conspiratorial AND undermines the Cold War roots the series has always had- replacing the fear of American military buildup with a sort of hateful simplicity.

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fallout show

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tendergraphite · 8 months

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Camilla & Henry: A Relationship Analysis

I've witnessed many TSH posts about the characters that aren't based on their actions at all, but their perceived beauty.

Take Camilla, instead of being seen as boyish/gender ambiguous (To the extent Richard used her as Charles stand in) And as cold-hearted enough to match Henry's bitterness—She is viewed as a darling graceful soul; A damsel in distress even.

We hardly understand Camilla because Richard didn't—We know so little, that there's much room for imagination. All the characters worp her identity, their notions about girls being innocent (Translated Meaning: incompetent) A mask for the sour milk on her breath.

However bits of the truth have always sneaked by—Peace's Richard didn't see as damning written in without him realizing the meaning behind the actions. That's why I've always been of the belief the characters true intents can be understood, even if that's not the point of the story.

Title: Satan Meets An Angels Corpse

Richard assumed it was difficult for Camilla to be the only female scholar in a group of men: But it was quite the contrary.

Camilla held similar beliefs as the Greeks, having a superiority complex I'd argue was the reason for her disliking of women—She's actively pointed out as having brawled with the only other two women in the book: If many of us really met Camilla, she'd harner an instant disdain for us—You'd have better luck getting Bunny to genuinely like you.

I believe she's been used as a self insert by the fandom—which is why she in particular is so wrongly understood—And why many are so eager for her romantic relationship with Henry to be canon. I've always hated that, as I believe that's really what's been stopping many from seeing what was really going on with Henry.

Oh yes, Henry Winter, whose largely over glorified for the surface level psychopathy and bone chilling murdering of his best friend. What I like to call one of the ''True'' plotlines in The Secret History is Henry's mental decline. Now, I've been building up this theory for awhile. so to fully understand you'll need to read the following posts about Henry 1) Not being in a car accident, and is in fact a victim of abuse 2) Why he chose to kill himself, and why the decision had been inevitable.

If you don't read the above, do not come into my comment section asking for explanations.

With the context set, what was their relationship?

Firstly, the two are a similar flavor of chaotic—The two saw Bunny's shenanigans and both went ''I mean, why don't we just kill him then?'' They are the equivalent of two high school girls besties, who have a secret ring code just so they can gossip about the latest sauce.

The two are very vulnerable people: Henry, who for the first time in his life was away from his abusive home—With no real social skills or awareness for the new world—Who probably only had his Mother prior; And Camilla who lost both her parents, and whose only real reliable company was her brother: They needed someone outside of their immediate circle, so become dependant on one another.

I feel the fandom forgets this, but Camilla held the exact same spiritual beliefs as Henry. Both of them navigated the world differently because of these beliefs, and would've bonded over their mutual understanding. So, do I think the two slept with one another? During the attempted/actual bacchanal sure, but past that? No, as that's not what their relationship was based upon.

Now the elephant in the room room. What was happening with the erm, love triangle? There wasn't one. Camilla distanced herself because Charles was changing in ways she couldn't support and was hurting her. She couldn't help him so helped herself as she should've, and ended up trusting who she saw to be her only good friend.

Henry's reaction to "Isn't that what you do to my sister every night?" Was largely caused by him actively self-sabotaging and not caring at that point. He knew Charles wanted a reaction, so didn't give it to him; He was playing a game he knew would end with him losing and did not care.

Along with the fact Henry was entirely under the impression Camilla was being physically abused. As someone who had been abused himself, of course he stepped in and whisked Camilla of to a hotel where he felt confident no one could simply trespass and attack her. This wasn't some possessive romantic get-away, he was worried.

As for why the two are so comfortable within their interactions with one another: Physical affection is comforting, it isn't just about romance for a lot of people it's about feeling safe. Why wouldn't they do these small gestures? They were comfortable with each other because they were friends.

Henry's support network had consisted of 1) Bunny, who was his best-friend and I'd argue to be brother figure; him being the only one to be able to get him to laugh, and come out of his shell. 2) Julian, who acted as a role model and parental support; he was the one to bring purpose to Henry's life and needed validation for his deep seeded insecurities—And Henry's last line of defence, 3) Camilla.

Henry lasted so long because of her nearing the end, but the flaw in their friendship was that Camilla couldn't empathise with him. She cares about those around her, really she does, but those people are a limited number and like Henry she is capable of feeling no remorse for manipulating the people she cares about.

She found Henry's display of misery embarrassing. Where Julian would have comforted him (In his own fucked-up egocentric way) And resolved Henry's feelings of worthlessness—Camilla couldn't. Even Bunny would've shown some form of affection—But Camilla's and Henry's relationship wasn't built on that, that's not why the two were friends.

A special thanks to bandaiddd for the following question: ''1) the relationship is shown through Richard’s eyes, do you believe/how do you think Henry manipulated his vision of their relationship within Richard’s narrative? 2) what do you think he whispered to her?''

To begin, he would've shaped the narrative to fit Camilla and Henry being romantically involved for a couple of reasons. The book is written after his last interaction with Camilla and her rejection, so it better suits him to believe Henry was the reason to her not accepting his marriage proposal (She just wasn't interested, and felt incredibly awkward.) Another way he shifted the narrative was just the fact Richard loves intrigue. Henry being a jealous lover and not a worried friend was simply more interesting—Along with making more sense to him.

With the second question... You just had to break my heart and make me genuinely answer this.

A tender kiss is often a mournful goodbye in tales—But a forehead kiss specifically represents friendship... And an apology. It's a much more respectful way to show adoration, more supple than a kiss on the lips. Before Henry kissed Camilla, he had already made up his mind—It's why what he had whispered was ''I love you.'' Prior to another kiss, and another ''I love you.'' Before he pulled back.

#the secret history #henry winter #charles macaulay #camilla macaulay #dark academia

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