#give lemons jetpacks!
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Another piano cover Ves did for Periphery's Jetpacks Was Yes. More info under the break.
Again, same as last week's Periphery post, the music link is incomplete and wasn't saved properly. Still 95% positive it's something I've already posted or will post later on. Also, I got the screenshot below from another source (since I checked through all the Periphery cover links I had and didn't see this comment on any of the archived videos). Not sure which video it was under so I'll stick it here 🥹🖤🙏
He's a fanboy just like all of us, for real.
#lost media#circa 2011#song jetpack was yes#periphery piano cover#periphery#periphery jetpacks was yes#yes i know ves titled his cover wrong#its fine its only missing one letter#the more important thing is:#when life gives you lemons#give lemons jetpacks!#also peripheriano is 11/10 absolute gold
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Rejected Bad: Jetpack
The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.
INT. GUS' CAR - DAY
Walter, Mike, and Gus sit together in Gus' car, parked in the middle of the desert. They attempt to convince their attorney, Saul Goodman, to try out a new Jetpack they've acquired.
WALTER: (excitedly) Come on, Saul! This thing is top of the line. It'll change your life!
SAUL: (nervously) I don't know, guys. Jetpacks? Seriously? I've got an image to maintain. Plus, what if something goes wrong?
MIKE: (grinning) Relax, Saul. We've taken every precaution. This thing is foolproof.
Gus opens the car trunk, revealing a sleek jetpack with felt chicken wings attached to it. Saul's eyes widen.
SAUL: (confused) Felt chicken wings? Are you guys serious about this?
GUS: (firmly) Saul, the felt chicken wings are for added safety. Trust me, it'll stabilise the jetpack. Now, put that string cheese down and give it a try!
Saul hesitates for a moment but reluctantly sets the string cheese aside.
SAUL: (muttering) If anything happens to me, my estate better be in order.
Gus helps Saul strap on the jetpack while Walter and Mike watch eagerly. Once they're certain Saul is secure, they take a step back.
GUS: (calmly) Alright, Saul, just remember to keep your balance, and you'll be flying high.
Saul starts the jetpack cautiously, hesitating as the engine roars to life. With a nod from Gus, he lifts off the ground, nervously hovering a few inches in the air. But panic quickly takes over, and he clumsily crashes into a nearby crate of lemons.
MIKE: (mocking) Just as we suspected, Gus. Saul's not cut out for jetpacking.
SAUL: (frustrated) Damn it! I told you I couldn't do this! I need more string cheese!
WALTER: (disappointed) Alright, Saul. We get it. No jetpacks for you.
Gus, unwilling to let their investment go to waste, scans the area and comes up with an idea.
GUS: (determined) Fine. If Saul won't fly the jetpack, I will.
Saul watches from a safe distance behind the crate of lemons as Gus straps on the jetpack. With utmost confidence, Gus takes off into the sky, smoothly manoeuvring through the desert landscape like a pro.
Mike and Walter exchange astonished glances, not expecting this level of skill from Gus.
WALTER: (amazed) Gus, you were hiding your true talents from us!
MIKE: (grinning) Damn, Gus. You're a regular jetpack pilot.
As Gus gracefully descends back to the ground, Saul comes out from hiding, apprehensive yet curious.
SAUL: (stammering) Gus, you actually know how to fly that thing?
GUS: (smiling) It seems so, Saul. And trust me, it's exhilarating. But maybe this adventure isn't for everyone.
Saul nods, relieved but also a little disappointed deep down.
SAUL: You know what, Gus? I'll stick to my string cheese and lawyer stuff. That's my specialty.
They all share a laugh, relieved to have made it through their unconventional jetpack experience unharmed.
FADE OUT.
#breaking bad#rejected bad#walter white#gus fring#mike ehrmantraut#saul goodman#string cheese#jetpack
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Jetpack Was Yes! - Periphery (Piano Cover) - Leo Faulkner
Upload date: August 7, 2011
Description:
Check out my music! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uHmO_…
It's not really as good as the Icarus Lives cover but oh well, thats the meaning of this song right? When life gives you lemons, GIVE LEMONS JETPACKS!
Peripheriano (now with crappy synth strings) LOVE THAT SHIT!"
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Dear Cohort,
Struggling with your novel? Paralyzed by the fear that it’s nowhere near good enough? Feeling caught in a trap of your own devising? You should probably give up.
For one thing, writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day. Every magazine and newspaper, every hardcover and paperback, every website and most walls near the freeway trumpet the news that nobody reads anymore, and everyone has read these statements and felt their powerful effects. The authors of all those articles and editorials, all those manifestos and essays, all those exclamations and eulogies—what would they say if they knew you were writing something? They would urge you, in bold-faced print, to stop.
Clearly, the future is moving us proudly and zippily away from the written word, so writing a novel is actually interfering with the natural progress of modern society. It is old-fashioned and fuddy-duddy, a relic of a time when people took artistic expression seriously and found solace in a good story told well. We are in the process of disentangling ourselves from that kind of peace of mind, so it is rude for you to hinder the world by insisting on adhering to the beloved paradigms of the past. It is like sitting in a gondola, listening to the water carry you across the water, while everyone else is zooming over you in jetpacks, belching smoke into the sky. Stop it, is what the jet-packers would say to you. Stop it this instant, you in that beautiful craft of intricately-carved wood that is giving you such a pleasant journey.
Besides, there are already plenty of novels. There is no need for a new one. One could devote one’s entire life to reading the work of Henry James, for instance, and never touch another novel by any other author, and never be hungry for anything else, the way one could live on nothing but multivitamin tablets and pureed root vegetables and never find oneself craving wild mushroom soup or linguini with clam sauce or a plain roasted chicken with lemon-zested dandelion greens or strong black coffee or a perfectly ripe peach or chips and salsa or caramel ice cream on top of poppyseed cake or smoked salmon with capers or aged goat cheese or a gin gimlet or some other startling item sprung from the imagination of some unknown cook. In fact, think of the world of literature as an enormous meal, and your novel as some small piddling ingredient – the drawn butter, for example, served next to a large, boiled lobster. Who wants that? If it were brought to the table, surely most people would ask that it be removed post-haste.
Even if you insisted on finishing your novel, what for? Novels sit unpublished, or published but unsold, or sold but unread, or read but unreread, lonely on shelves and in drawers and under the legs of wobbly tables. They are like seashells on the beach. Not enough people marvel over them. They pick them up and put them down. Even your friends and associates will never appreciate your novel the way you want them to. In fact, there are likely just a handful of readers out in the world who are perfect for your book, who will take it to heart and feel its mighty ripples throughout their lives, and you will likely never meet them, at least under the proper circumstances. So who cares? Think of that secret favorite book of yours – not the one you tell people you like best, but that book so good that you refuse to share it with people because they’d never understand it. Perhaps it’s not even a whole book, just a tiny portion that you’ll never forget as long as you live. Nobody knows you feel this way about that tiny portion of literature, so what does it matter? The author of that small bright thing, that treasured whisper deep in your heart, never should have bothered.
Of course, it may well be that you are writing not for some perfect reader someplace, but for yourself, and that is the biggest folly of them all, because it will not work. You will not be happy all of the time. Unlike most things that most people make, your novel will not be perfect. It may well be considerably less than one-fourth perfect, and this will frustrate you and sadden you. This is why you should stop. Most people are not writing novels which is why there is so little frustration and sadness in the world, particularly as we zoom on past the novel in our smoky jet packs soon to be equipped with pureed food. The next time you find yourself in a group of people, stop and think to yourself, probably no one here is writing a novel. This is why everyone is so content, here at this bus stop or in line at the supermarket or standing around this baggage carousel or sitting around in this doctor’s waiting room or in seventh grade or in Johannesburg. Give up your novel, and join the crowd. Think of all the things you could do with your time instead of participating in a noble and storied art form. There are things in your cupboards that likely need to be moved around.
In short, quit. Writing a novel is a tiny candle in a dark, swirling world. It brings light and warmth and hope to the lucky few who, against insufferable odds and despite a juggernaut of irritations, find themselves in the right place to hold it. Blow it out, so our eyes will not be drawn to its power. Extinguish it so we can get some sleep. I plan to quit writing novels myself, sometime in the next hundred years.
Lemony Snicket
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Sonic & Tails: Beyond the Stars - Chapter 2
Chapter 2: The Mark of the Wilderness
“Those robot parts were everywhere,” Tails thought out loud in reference to the mess they cleaned up in the town by the meadows. “I think that was more time consuming than SAVING the place.”
“No kidding,” Sonic agreed. “Couldn’t you have told us that we’d have to clean them up on the way back?” He lightly nudged Lutrudis jokingly.
“Heh heh, sorry,” the horse replied with a guilty shrug. “But I did promise them... Wouldn’t have been fair for those poor townsfolk to tidy up their area all by themselves.”
“True. Now then... where to next?”
They were now back in Lime Shores, the town that the hedgehog and fox duo arrived in when they introduced themselves to Viridonia. The waves and the buildings shined just as bright as when they saw them the first time around, but gorgeous as they were, the sights were not on the heroes’ minds. The ominous creature that attacked them here had yet to be found, and at the moment, they had no clues as to where else it could possibly be hiding.
“So, uh, Trudy,” Sonic began to ask as he looked around aimlessly, having made sure to stick with his nickname for her rather than make another failed attempt to pronounce her real name. “What’s the nearest region from this point that we haven’t visited yet?”
“Oh, well...” Lutrudis had to pause for a moment as she was put on the spot, but it didn’t last for long. “There’s a jungle near the east side of the town, if that means anything to you. You don’t suppose it could be there, do you...? We don’t have any evidence for that...”
“No, but if Ol’ Egghead’s around here, he’s probably making a mess there too. He NEVER leaves a spot undisturbed.”
“It’s also a safe bet that there’s a link between him and the monster,” Tails added. “He’s commanded OTHER monsters, after all, and his presence in Viridonia sure is conveniently timed with its appearance. So even if we don’t find it in person, we could find out more about what’s going on at least.”
“Well, it’s not like we have other leads for the time being...” Lutrudis scratched the side of her face as she exchanged an unsure glance with Sonic to her left, and Tails to her right. “To the jungle it is, then?”
“Right away!” As expected of him, Sonic wasted no time in curling into a ball and rolling out of view in seconds. The seasoned and trained Tails was able to keep up with him easily, but Lutrudis...
“Oh dear, please wait up...!” She asked desperately as she tried in vain to keep up, being extremely careful not to overexert herself. “Not everyone is as fast as you, you know!”
“Actually,” Sonic began, having slowed down his speed a little so that Lutrudis could hear him. “Tails can catch up with me, he’s doing it right now!.So can Amy! Then there’s Shadow... and there’s Blaze... even KNUCKLES can be pretty fast when he puts his mind into it!”
“.........Not everyone is as fast as you, you know!” Lutrudis repeated with extra emphasis, while sounding even more desperate than the previous instance.
——
Tricky Tropics Zone
TT Act 1: Luscious Jungle
Lutrudis’ Badnik Logs:
Buzz Bomber - “Everyone knows these buzzing pests. They fly around minding their own business, but if you’re nearby, they’ll shoot pellets at you. Curiously, they have the same face as Motobug... Perhaps they’re made on the cheap?”
Coconuts - “These cheeky monkeys will throw bombs at you from the safety of their trees, but some of them are bold enough to toss them them at you from the ground. Their bombs are even designed like coconuts! Gotta give points to them for keeping it thematically appropriate, I guess.”
Bloominator - “Don’t go admiring this flower! Behind those petals lies a seemingly endless supply of spiked projectiles, which it’ll be all too happy to launch at you should you go near it.”
Mushmeanie - “They pose as mushrooms... and then they don’t once their casings are whacked off. They bounce along the ground aside from that, though I must say, they’re rather cute for killer robots...”
Rhinotank - “It would seem that this design incorporates visual elements from both the Rhinotank and its older model, the Rhinobot, making for a very sleek yet dangerous result... Either way though, it still charges at you should you pop up in its sight.”
Teething Tiki - “Have the idols of the jungle come to life!? ...No, they’re just knockoffs made by the doctor. They’re quick to grab you in the hopes of taking a chomp out of you, which isn’t very idol-like if you ask me.”
You're getting into the adventuring spirit now, but things will be a little trickier around here compared to your time in the meadows. (Even the name gives that away.) The jungles are teeming with all sorts of natural traps, and that's without throwing in Eggman's environmentally unfriendly band of mooks. But you heroes have been through plenty of jungles before, so this will be a breeze... right?
The greenery surrounding the environment is very rich in tone, as are the vivid colours of the flowers, but those are not the only things you’ll be seeing here. Like Frog Forest before it, Luscious Jungle is named after its vast array of succulent, yet unnaturally-sized fruit, many of which can be used to assist you in your journey. You can use apples as stepping stones on the water, bananas can be used in place of ramps, grapes can be bounced upon to reach extra heights... And if you’re feeling really daring, you can even roll the giant oranges and lemons into unsuspecting Badniks. There’s plenty of fruit to experiment with, so don’t be afraid to do just that, even if it’s purely for the sake of your own amusement.
Sonic: Sorry Tails, I have to say it... orange you glad there’s so many of them?
Tails: ...Couldn’t resist, could you?
Sonic: Nope!
Lutrudis: Sounds like someone’s being a bit of a sour grape.
Tails: Aw, not you too!
Lutrudis: *giggle*
But what’s a jungle without its animal inhabitants? That’s right, you’ll get to encounter the exotic wildlife around here too. Some of them, like oncoming zebra herds and aggressive tigers, only serve to hinder you. Others can benefit you instead, like the elephants who are all too happy to launch you out of their trunks (hedgehog quills cause no pain for them, apparently), and the birds who occasionally drop handy item boxes... Just don’t get mixed up with the actual wildlife and Eggman’s wildlife. Regular monkeys aren’t known for having bombs on their person.
Though the area is largely dense, there are occasional segments from outside the immediate jungle area that lead into sprawling savannah landscapes. The glow of the mighty sunlight makes them an impressive sight to see, but be warned, for the Teething Tiki robots can often be found lurking in these exact areas. Luckily though, if you can’t be bothered confronting them, you can climb up the necks of the giraffes to lose track of them, as well as treat yourself to an awesome view.
Once you find the end capsule, you may notice there’s a blocky pyramid structure towering over the trees. You can’t see all of it, but it would be remiss of you to not investigate it...
——
“And just through here, you’ll find... this!” Lutrudis moved a large bush out of the way so that Sonic and Tails could see what she was referring to. As it turns out, she was referring to a village with a distinctly primitive quality. Wooden huts and stone pyramids were dotted across the land, in league with imposing idol monuments, and passageways made of temple structures. The sunlight had simmered down ever so slightly, but its shine was still palpable, and the wooded barriers surrounding the village had various colours of the rainbow painted on them. The colours still popped even after the years of decay and rust.
“Quite a sight, huh?” The horse turned to the two guys, but she noticed they had a peculiar look of thought on their faces, as if they were looking at something else entirely.
“It’s kind of like... like that city I was sent to during Chaos’ rampage, in the past... Wow...” Needless to say, Tails was very amazed by what he saw. “I know it’s different, but it looks so much like that city...”
“Wait, that happened to you too!?” Sonic asked his buddy out of equal amazement. “I was sent to the past during that time too! Yeah, I totally get you, Tails. This looks a LOT like that place...”
Lutrudis took a moment to analyse their mutual sense of wonder with crossed arms, before glancing back at the village herself with a neutral emotion.
“I’ve never time travelled, so I can’t comment.”
Tails examined the village further, in an effort to spot for citizens. “So would we be unwelcomed here, or...?”
“Well, no one’s actually lived here for a long time,” Lutrudis casually explained, all the while fiddling a little with the tip of her ponytail. “Certainly never seen a thriving community in this part since I was a kid.”
“So we SHOULD be fine if we run around in it?”
“As long as you don’t break any priceless artifacts and disgrace the work of whosoever lived here in ye olden days, then yes, I would say so.”
“Pfft, please. You think I can’t control my speed?” Sonic chuckled as he started running ahead to the village.
“I would say your turning is a bigger point of concern,” Lutrudis lightly snarked back as she followed him. Tails followed suit, and as he did so, he smiled to himself, as he continued to witness how quickly his new friend was getting used to the company of his oldest.
Little did any of them know however, that a camera was spying on them from the skies, held by the hands of a familiar blue droid with shifty eyes. Though it made no sound, the siren on his head glowed bright red in accordance with his sinister intentions. Using his jetpack, the round robot flew away from the scene in a hurry, satisfied with his footage.
——
TT Act 2: Temple Village
Lutrudis’ Badnik Logs:
Jag-Off - “Such a ferocious beast! These jaguar bots are quick to pounce on you at a moment’s notice. They can be pretty fast... but not as fast as a blue hedgehog, right?”
Mayan Pawn - “Dressed in the style of ancient warriors, these dark blue Pawns will attempt to shiv you with their spears if you’re close, or they’ll resort to their blowguns if you’re at a distance. The doctor sure likes his stereotypes, huh...”
Returning Enemies:
Buzz Bomber
Coconuts
Rhinotank
Teething Tiki
Far from the first time you’ve been in an environment like this, but at least you weren’t warped to the past this time around. In this stage, you’ll get to explore all the ins, the outs, and the arounds of this ancient village, and suffice to say, it’s a pretty big village at that. And don’t worry, despite their intimidating stature, the idols won’t come to life, although the Teething Tikis are still around, so be vigilant.
There are no natives living among here anymore, but there are a few explorers for you to talk to if you want to, as evidenced by the little camp site they’ve set up in the area. Some of the explorers have a few interesting things to say...
“It’s said that this was once a populated city, but one day, everyone just vanished off the map! What do you think could have caused that? Did they bring a cruel fate upon themselves, like the ancient echidnas? Or was it something else... something more...?”
“It’s funny... This place looks ancient and all, but something about it feels very... NOT that ancient, if you know what I mean? ...Not even I’m completely sure on what I mean, though...”
Others have less than insightful things to say...
“Wow, are you really Sonic the Hedgehog!? I’m honored to meet you!... Now get out of the way. I can’t take the perfect shot of these pyramids while you’re mugging the camera.”
The majority of the village is on the outside, so the instances where you go inside the temples don’t last for long. That doesn’t mean they’re uneventful though: You can expect to find a healthy number of traps waiting for anyone foolish enough to enter, such as the spears that shoot from the walls, and the weak segments of ground that give way to a ghastly bed of spikes. It’s not all that pleasant, but you’ll live. (Unless you die, of course.)
The newcomer enemies are at their most prominent in the interior sections of the temples. Jag-Offs can almost jump scare you with how quick they can pounce, but they’re nothing too unbearable aside from that. The Mayan Pawns aren’t as fast, but they are more annoying, particularly when they use their blowguns.
It’s not just the temples you can explore, however. Some of the biggest and reddest trees have walkways built around them, and several tunnels have been made from within them. Have fun with scaling and shooting through the pine, but don’t get too careless, for Buzz Bombers love to hang around these sections.
When you finally reach the last bunch of temples in the area, it will turn out that I wasn’t being fully honest with you, for a particularly demonic-looking idol DOES come to life, which takes your character by surprise. Tails’ shocked reaction in particular is priceless.
Tails: AIEEEEEE!
After it takes a moment to growl menacingly at you, it then ascends higher in the air... revealing a serpent-esque body made of black stone, with red and orange markings for good measure. It also reveals two arms, each with the same colour scheme. While the explorers understandably run for dear life, you are made from a braver substance, meaning you’ll have to be the one who actually fights this thing. Unlucky!
BOSS: Idolossus
Right off the bat, it’ll summon four Teething Tikis. You don’t need to destroy them, but you might as well before they get in your way. The Idolossus itself is fond of using its strong arms to pummel you in all kinds of ways, most notably by slamming its hand at where you’re positioned, and sweeping an arm either clockwise or counter-clockwise along the ground.
What do you do? Well, the battlefield here consists of all the area that you’re currently in, so make use of that to get a fair distance away from it. It can still make a grab for you though, for its arms can extend their length to a certain point. Notice how some of the walls have large holes in them? What you want to do is position yourself in front of one of those holes, so that when it launches its arm and hopefully misses you, it’ll get stuck. It’s a rather tragic yet comedic sight, but you can’t think about that for too long, as it’ll eventually get its arm free if you don’t react fast enough. Quickly jump on the arm, spin dash all the way to the body, and land a hit on its eye. It’ll howl in pain while you fall back down to the ground,
It only takes three hits in total, but don’t assume that’ll make things easy. With each hit, it summons a greater amount of Teething Tikis, and more worryingly, it grows two more arms with each hit, culminating in a total of six arms. It also starts throwing in a few fire-based attacks for good measure, such as spitting out fireballs and leaving a temporary trail of flame wherever it sweeps the ground. You’ll also need to use a different wall with a hole in it for each hit, since the ones you already made use of get completely destroyed afterwards.
Spin dashing along the arm will be made tougher each time, since its extra arms will attempt to hinder you even while you’re trying to reach the body. But you can manage. Three hits in, and the Idolossus will let out one last howl before crumbling to the ground in pieces, revealing circuitry within its stone exterior. Not that there was any doubt beforehand that Eggman made this idol, but it’s nice to know for sure nonetheless.
——
“Personally, I thought this one looked ugly anyway,” Sonic commented upon looking around at the debris of the idol they had faced with his hands on his hips. He shook his head disapprovingly. “Seriously, black and red? Sticks out like a sore thumb. Not that that’s unusual for Eggman’s junk...”
“What was it doing here, though?” Tails asked as he scratched his head. “It’s a little weird for an Eggman robot to just hang around here and do nothing until we showed up... Maybe it was guarding something?”
“You might be onto something there, Tails,” Lutrudis grimly noted as she pointed in the direction of a few bushes and trees, which appeared to be emitting a strange purple mist. The three of them exchanged looks with each other, and with varying levels of dread, they slowly walked towards where the mist was radiating from. Sonic, the one in front, quickly brushed many bushes aside, his two associates close behind. The thick vegetation proved troublesome to traverse, but they marched on regardless, until at last, Sonic found the very definite source for the mist. Namely, a river filled with a substance that he had seen before...
“Mega Mack!” Sonic exclaimed.
“Mega Mack?” Tails asked with shock as he got to see it for himself.
“Mega Mack!”
“Mega Mack?” Lutrudis questioned in turn as she saw it too. She only had to glance at the area a grand total of once before she immediately covered up her face with her bandana. “Goodness gracious, that stuff stinks.”
“Yeah. Mega Mack. That freaky gunk that Eggman loves so much.”
Sonic frowned as he looked at the rest of the scene. In spite of the chemical’s effects, the rest of the environment remained fairly pleasant. The plant life and moss took on a much darker green than it did in the immediate jungle region, and the flowers came in stunning shades of white and light blue. A pale white shine engulfed the area, creating a sight that stood in stark contrast with the purple pollutant.
The hero’s firm expression grew tighter, as it only reminded him of what Eggman was doing to the place. He never understood the scientist’s habit of turning everything he could find into glamorized environmental hazards... nor did he care to know, as Eggman was infamous for his general callousness anyway. All he knew was that the river would only get worse if he didn’t put a stop to it.
“It won’t be pleasant,” he turned to Tails. “But we’ll have to follow the river if we want to find the source of this gunk.”
“There are worse experiences,” Tails shrugged, in a tone that implied he was thinking of something in particular when he spoke.
“If that’s what it takes...” Lutrudis added, her bandana still covering her face tightly. “This is still part of my home. I can’t just stand here and let the doctor get away with this disgrace, can I? The sooner we find the source, the sooner we can make this place less inhospitable... and less stinky.”
——
TT Act 3: Gloomy Bog
Lutrudis’ Badnik Logs:
Venus Dire Trap - “Self-explanatory, really. When they spot it, they’ll make a swift lunge for their prey... which, according to their programming, is you. Pretty grim...”
Returning Enemies:
Buzz Bomber
Bloominator
Don’t let the unflattering name fool you, this swamp actually looks pretty nice in spite of its current situation (and, you know, being a swamp). It’s only really gloomy because it’s in the process of being corrupted by Eggman’s influence. The Mega Mack is not fatal - you can take a dip in it with no trouble (although why you would want to do that is anyone’s guess) - but like with regular water, you can drown in it if you’re under there for too long. If you’d rather not dive in the Mega Mack and risk getting a disease, there are wooden walkways and loops that you can run across.
You can also use the vines to catapult yourself across different angles, which can be exploited if you’re a cunning sort of player. On the other hand, the biggest obstacle around here are the mud pits. They’re not fatal either, but the longer you’re stuck in them, the slower you can move... which can prove to be a disastrous consequence if there’s a Badnik nearby.
Speaking of Badniks, the Venus Dire Traps are very fast for a second zone enemy. They’re not impossible to counter, but you really have to stay on guard with them, or else you’ll be turned into prey in seconds. The Buzz Bombers also like to fly above areas with mud pits, and the Bloominators are rather annoyingly placed in the middle of the walkways a lot of the time.
And by the way? Don’t think going through the whole stage under the Mega Mack will grant you an easy victory. Aside from the usual worry of drowning, Eggman was crafty enough to leave a few Venus Dire Traps under the Mega Mack as well... and since your reaction time is ever so slightly slower when underwater, dealing with THEM while underwater is a lot harder. Although you will be rewarded with handy items if you get past all the danger, so it’s your choice...
When you reach the capsule, you’ll spot what appears to be the source of the Mega Mack: a giant, mechanical bee hive compound. Buzz Bombers are rapidly flying out of it, and Mega Mack is callously spewing from different angles within the holes located on the structure. You better shut this thing down, eh?
——
TT Act 4: Hornet’s Nest
Lutrudis’ Badnik Logs:
Hive Bomber - “Inside the big hive lies... miniature hives! Should you be careless enough to touch it, it’ll release a group of bite-sized Buzz Bombers for you to deal with. As if there weren’t enough of these fiends around here already, sheesh...”
Returning Enemies:
Buzz Bomber
Bloominator
Venus Dire Trap
Another immediate jump to the next act. This stage takes place both outside and inside the robotic hive, as it’s been fortified in the event that you turned up to try and wreck the place. On the outside, you’ll have to deal with more Venus Dire Traps and Bloominators, as well as the natural hazards of the marshy environment. You may be reminded of the Great Megalith in fact, as the fortifications around the exterior are quite fancy, complete with lamps hanging on the ceilings, and on the walls.
The interior of the hive, however, is a different story. Fittingly enough, you’re gonna have to deal with a lot of Buzz Bombers in here, as well as their junior counterparts hiding away in their own little hives. Being the progenitor of the Mega Mack, there’ll be rivers of that here and there too, but since they’re rushing very rapidly here, you’ll get sent along its course if you accidentally go for a swim in it, Don’t worry though, this won’t count as a death. Usually it’ll just take you to an earlier point in the level, so it’s still annoying, but not an instant kill.
Naturally, there’s a bunch of honey-related gimmicks and obstacles in the hive as well. Honey on the walls can be used for wall jumping purposes, and honey slides can be used to gain a ton of momentum for the giddy players who like to just go fast. If you’re going up a slide, you can jump along the platforms that are conveniently provided for you.
The stage is honestly pretty straightforward for the most part, with no big surprises... until the end. You will eventually reach a tunnel, and it seems you’re in the clear, since there are no enemies or obstacles to be found. But your character is running towards the camera... You know what that means...
Right on cue, a truly massive Buzz Bomber emerges from the ground, and it wastes no time in chasing you down, presumably for all those years of destroying its smaller offspring. It won’t do anything other than chase you, but it’s pretty speedy, so don’t get cocky. Remember, there is honey everywhere in this tunnel, so on the occasion that it makes a faster charge towards where you’re running, you can avoid it by simply running along the other edges of the tunnel.
After a while, the tunnel will cease, and you and your chaser will reach an interesting room with a flower-shaped device in the center of it... which also happens to have five rivers of Mega Mack emerging from it. Now that you’re not being chased, you can have a better look at this Buzz Bomber. Longer wings, brighter stripes, notable spikes on its tail, a tiara-esque shape on its head... yes, this must be the queen. Time for some regicide.
BOSS: Queen Bomber
The Queen will start off by doing what every Buzz Bomber does: fly around and shoot pellets. Although for obvious reasons, its pellets are fairly larger than that of the average Bomber’s, and are thus harder to avoid. It will do this three times, although if you fly up as Tails, or make use of your parkour as Sonic, you can whack the Queen early to get it to move on. This won’t count as a hit, but it helps speed up the process if you’re impatient.
Either way, the Queen will eventually place itself in the middle of the flower, and the flower will close itself up to reveal laser cannons underneath, which will then process to sweep the ground. This can be tricky to dodge when you’re also trying to avoid the Mega Mack, but it’s also your moment to strike. Once the lasers have stopped, there’s a brief moment before the flower petals lower to reveal the Queen. Before that happens, spin dash one of the petals three times as quickly as you can, and this will destroy said petal.
The Queen will grow furious that you harmed its lovely flower, and in response, it’ll fly out of the camera’s view and fire a rapid onslaught of pellets straight to the ground. Fortunately, they have shadows, so you have an early warning as to where they’ll land. After which, the normal process will continue. Avoid the pellets, dodge the flower’s lasers, whack another petal three times. Smooth sailing from here, right?
Well, not quite. The process itself largely remains the same, but you’ll have more to dodge the longer the fight goes on. After two petals are destroyed, the Queen will make use of those spikes on its tail by firing them at you. Unlike the pellets, the spikes will temporarily bounce along the walls from different angles, and they’re faster as well. The Queen itself will also be slightly quicker in firing its usual pellets.
After four petals are shredded, the Queen will summon regular Buzz Bombers for assistance, so you’ll have to deal with them too. However, some of them will be colored red instead of blue. Aside from being a visual nod to the similar Buzzer model, it’s also an indication that they work a little differently, as the red Bombers will forgo shooting pellets in favor of getting in your personal space, hurting you via physical contact. This can be irritating, but you can use it to your advantage by attacking them from a certain angle so that they’ll crash straight into one of the remaining flower petals, destroying said petal in one hit.
When all six petals are down, the Queen will get REALLY mad, and it’ll throw all its previous patterns out of the way in favor of charging straight towards you! Simply bop it on the head a single time... and it’ll blow up. How anticlimactic.
Well, it’s still a Buzz Bomber at the end of the day. They’ve always went down in one hit. I guess the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.
——
With the Queen’s defeat, and the destruction of its flower, the rivers of purple liquid in the hive slowly began to die down. Their course grew slower, their gushing grew quieter, until eventually, the tunnels and holes that were once full of the chemical were drained completely.
“Yeah!” Sonic cheered as he pumped a fist in the air. “No more lousy Mega Mack!” He followed it up by exchanging a bouncy high five with Tails.
“i just hope the river will recover from this,” Lutrudis muttered with concern as she fidgeted with her hands. Her bandana was down again, now that her sensitive nose was no longer affected by the surroundings. “A lot of the goop made its way there... I hope it’s not permanently tarnished...”
Sonic gradually stopped cheering as he found himself unsure on what to say in response, as he too wasn’t sure about whether it would fully recover or not. Having noticed his friend’s worrying, he could only throw a look of sympathy her way. Tails simply looked down at his feet, similarly uncertain on how to address the horse’s thoughts.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Sonic gently reassured her with a small smile, patting her on the back. “Maybe not immediately, but... things have a way of working out. Trust me.”
"Heh...”
“As for that beast, we’ve STILL not found it,” Sonic pondered out loud. “We haven’t found Eggman either, come to think of it...”
“Why do you think Eggman’s hiding?” Tails questioned.
“Your guess is as good as mine, Tails,” the hedgehog shrugged as his quills drooped. “I mean, it’s not like he’s being secretive about his involvement. We KNOW it’s him. We KNOW he’s here. Being coy isn’t like him at all...”
“Hey, guys?” Lutrudis seemed hesitant to mention what was on her mind, but she went through with voicing her thought. “I don’t know this for sure, but... I think I might have an idea on what the doctor is searching for.”
“You do???” Sonic and Tails cried out in unison.
“Please tell us, Trudy,” Sonic added urgently, yet not without tenderness. “This could really help us. Even if you’re not sure about it, tell us anyway. If we can have even a vague idea on what he could be up to, we can stop him a lot quicker.”
The young lady was conflicted. Doubt plagued her mind. What if this wasn’t it? What if she leads them to something that amounts to nothing? What if she completely wastes their time and creates more problems instead of solving them? She looked at Tails, who nodded reassuringly, then she turned back to Sonic, and she looked deep into his eyes in particular. She felt her anxiety simmering down as she focused on the hedgehog’s bright, green, friendly eyes. She took a moment to nod to herself as she finally began to spill the beans.
“I’ll take you to it myself. It’s not far from my residence.”
——
“So they were at my Mega Mack compound, I see...” mused an all too familiar voice hidden away in the shadows, as he watched the footage that was provided to him by the blue robot, who twitched nervously at his master’s brief period of silence.
“Is the hedgehog foiling your plans again, doctor?” asked another voice in the shadows.
“...Nah,” the voice replied in an uncharacteristically relaxed tone. “He’s not doing that at all, not this time. You see, he can actually destroy as much of my stuff as he wants... and it won’t mean a thing. I’ll still win.”
“And what makes you so certain of that? What exactly are you planning?”
“Ho ho ho... You’ll find out in time. That said however...” He examined the footage once more, stroking his trademark facial hair all the while. “I think I’m going to keep an eye on the new girl.”
“She doesn’t seem like anything worth concerning yourself over, doctor. She has no fancy abilities from what we’ve seen, no experience with the Chaos Emeralds...”
“I have learned a valuable lesson over the years, Orbot. When Sonic makes a new friend, they always cause trouble for me. I’m NOT taking any chances.”
“Understood, sir.”
“That’s what I like to hear. Now then... Are YOU ready for your next job?”
A hand emerged from the darkness to point down at the blue droid. He looked to his left and to his right, as if he were wrongly accused of a crime. He finally nodded slowly, almost anxiously, his siren still shining brightly.
“Good stuff! Then in that case...”
Out of the shadows stepped a robot who looked very similar, but not completely identical, to the blue one. He was triple the height, with a proud spot of red. As three similar pairs of red eyes glowed behind the two machines, the red one silently raised his scepter in the air, as if to celebrate a glorious occasion.
A grin slowly formed on their master’s face. A grin that Sonic had seen many, many times throughout his adventures.
“Let’s go crash the party, my loyal Heavies...”
------
Back to Chapter 1...
To Chapter 2-3 Interlude...
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Since the last post reminded me, here’s Lemony Snicket’s Nanowrimo 2010 pep talk (discouragement talk?). I’ve bolded the parts I’ve come back to over and over again these past years every time I’ve felt like giving up on writing:
Dear Cohort,
Struggling with your novel? Paralyzed by the fear that it’s nowhere near good enough? Feeling caught in a trap of your own devising? You should probably give up.
For one thing, writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day. Every magazine and newspaper, every hardcover and paperback, every website and most walls near the freeway trumpet the news that nobody reads anymore, and everyone has read these statements and felt their powerful effects. The authors of all those articles and editorials, all those manifestos and essays, all those exclamations and eulogies—what would they say if they knew you were writing something? They would urge you, in bold-faced print, to stop.
Clearly, the future is moving us proudly and zippily away from the written word, so writing a novel is actually interfering with the natural progress of modern society. It is old-fashioned and fuddy-duddy, a relic of a time when people took artistic expression seriously and found solace in a good story told well. We are in the process of disentangling ourselves from that kind of peace of mind, so it is rude for you to hinder the world by insisting on adhering to the beloved paradigms of the past. It is like sitting in a gondola, listening to the water carry you across the water, while everyone else is zooming over you in jetpacks, belching smoke into the sky. Stop it, is what the jet-packers would say to you. Stop it this instant, you in that beautiful craft of intricately-carved wood that is giving you such a pleasant journey.
Besides, there are already plenty of novels. There is no need for a new one. One could devote one’s entire life to reading the work of Henry James, for instance, and never touch another novel by any other author, and never be hungry for anything else, the way one could live on nothing but multivitamin tablets and pureed root vegetables and never find oneself craving wild mushroom soup or linguini with clam sauce or a plain roasted chicken with lemon-zested dandelion greens or strong black coffee or a perfectly ripe peach or chips and salsa or caramel ice cream on top of poppyseed cake or smoked salmon with capers or aged goat cheese or a gin gimlet or some other startling item sprung from the imagination of some unknown cook. In fact, think of the world of literature as an enormous meal, and your novel as some small piddling ingredient – the drawn butter, for example, served next to a large, boiled lobster. Who wants that? If it were brought to the table, surely most people would ask that it be removed post-haste.
Even if you insisted on finishing your novel, what for? Novels sit unpublished, or published but unsold, or sold but unread, or read but unreread, lonely on shelves and in drawers and under the legs of wobbly tables. They are like seashells on the beach. Not enough people marvel over them. They pick them up and put them down. Even your friends and associates will never appreciate your novel the way you want them to. In fact, there are likely just a handful of readers out in the world who are perfect for your book, who will take it to heart and feel its mighty ripples throughout their lives, and you will likely never meet them, at least under the proper circumstances. So who cares? Think of that secret favorite book of yours – not the one you tell people you like best, but that book so good that you refuse to share it with people because they’d never understand it. Perhaps it’s not even a whole book, just a tiny portion that you’ll never forget as long as you live. Nobody knows you feel this way about that tiny portion of literature, so what does it matter? The author of that small bright thing, that treasured whisper deep in your heart, never should have bothered.
Of course, it may well be that you are writing not for some perfect reader someplace, but for yourself, and that is the biggest folly of them all, because it will not work. You will not be happy all of the time. Unlike most things that most people make, your novel will not be perfect. It may well be considerably less than one-fourth perfect, and this will frustrate you and sadden you. This is why you should stop. Most people are not writing novels which is why there is so little frustration and sadness in the world, particularly as we zoom on past the novel in our smoky jet packs soon to be equipped with pureed food. The next time you find yourself in a group of people, stop and think to yourself, probably no one here is writing a novel. This is why everyone is so content, here at this bus stop or in line at the supermarket or standing around this baggage carousel or sitting around in this doctor’s waiting room or in seventh grade or in Johannesburg. Give up your novel, and join the crowd. Think of all the things you could do with your time instead of participating in a noble and storied art form. There are things in your cupboards that likely need to be moved around.
In short, quit. Writing a novel is a tiny candle in a dark, swirling world. It brings light and warmth and hope to the lucky few who, against insufferable odds and despite a juggernaut of irritations, find themselves in the right place to hold it. Blow it out, so our eyes will not be drawn to its power. Extinguish it so we can get some sleep. I plan to quit writing novels myself, sometime in the next hundred years.
Lemony Snicket
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My faves
Who’s ready to get POSITIVE
Much of this blog is just me complaining about Sly 4′s writing (which, psa, is unlikely to ever stop), but I love this goddamn series more than any other and it’s nice to actually make that clear. So here’s an informal list of my favourite stuff! None of these are in any particular order, since that would take a lot of brainpower and in many cases there is no order
Top five favourite characters:
Sly, Carmelita, Clockwerk, Neyla, Tennessee Kiiiiiiiiiiiiid Cooper!
Next five favourite characters:
Bentley, Murray, Penelope, Dr M, Arpeggio
Favourite minor villains:
Raleigh, Mz Ruby, Jean Bison, Don Octavio, El Jefe
Favourite ancestors (major or minor):
Tenny, Henriette, Galleth, Rioichi, Slytunkhamen
Favourite moments:
Neyla’s betrayal, Bentley saving his friends, the Gang losing all the Clockwerk parts - all of them? they lost all the Clockwerk parts? - Carmelita crushing the Hate Chip, and (a twofer) Arpeggio explaining his beautifully intricate plan and then Neyla betraying him
(Bonus: Carmelita giving Murray jelly beans)
Five favourite moments that... aren’t in Sly 2:
Murray renouncing pacifism to save Bentley (“That’s! IT!! I’ll floss my teeth with YOUR SPINE!!!” Like, it’s awesome, but the sheer power in the cinematography and the delivery and stuff really gets me)
Penelope kicking LeFwee’s ass in a swordfight
Carmelita showing up to save Sly from Dr M’s monster
Carmelita and Tenny teaming up to save the Gang,
and
Using a jetpack to fight an ancient robot owl demon over a volcano (talk about iconic)
Favourite levels:
Paris (Sly 2. Where it all began for me...)
Nunavut Bay (Sly 2, first Canada level. I love trains.)
Arpeggio’s Blimp (Sly 2 finale. Nicely climactic. And I love blimps!)
Venice (Sly 3. Not much to say except it’s well-made.)
Cotton Mouth Bluff (Sly 4, Tennessee’s level. It’s got Tennessee! And a train!!!)
Favourite missions:
Two to Tango/Duel by the Dragon (Sly 1 Carmelita levels, just a good time)
Train Hack (first time Bentley’s hacking is playable, aside from the hella frantic version in Sly 1, and leads to an amazingly satisfying trainsplosion)
Lemon Rage (good old fashioned teamwork in a goddamn ridiculous setting)
The King of Fire (trying to contact the Panda King, and every member of the Gang contributes something. Good content!! What it’s all about!!)
Blind Date/Jail Break (aforementioned team-up of Tenny and Carmelita, the one plot element of Sly 4 I will continually and constantly praise)
(Bonus: I replay Laptop Retrieval a lot, too)
Favourite heists:
Operation: Thunder Beak (the first ever proper heist, and it sets up the formula beautifully)
Operation: Hippo Drop (the dancing, the run to the van, the sheer absurdity of lowering Murray like that)
Operation: Trojan Tank (a really well-executed plan culminating in good friendship vibes)
Operation: Tar-Be-Gone! (it’s got everything! A slow build, ridiculous singing, fleeing Carmelita, fighting a boss, and, of course, the aforementioned character moment. Really dense with awesome stuff)
Operation: Choo-Choo and Operation: Gold Digger, because train heists
Favourite boss fights:
vs Mz Ruby, vs Panda King, vs Jean Bison, vs Tsao (for the laptop), vs El Jefe
Favourite melodies:
Paris by Rooftop (and Sly’s theme in general), Clockwerk’s theme, Neyla’s theme, Bentley & Penelope’s shared theme, Dimitri’s funky bassline, Gauntlet of the Ancestors (which is just beautiful), and - greatest song in any video game ever made - Lemon Rage
[WHISTLING INTENSIFIES]
Favourite jokes:
“The production of zombies, made illegal by the World Peace Accords of ‘71...”
“What did I tell you, Sly? Giant. Attack. Robot.”
“Sounds kinda harsh. Does the old gal deserve such rough treatment?” “Weren’t you listening, Sly?! She was an Evil Wolf Priestess!”
"You got a better idea?" "Yeah! But we'd need a giant fighting robot."
“Your mother was a broken-down tub of junk with more gentleman callers than the operator.” (Rated E for Everyone!)
"Rule number one: Get over yourself. Rule number two: I mean it, get over yourself!"
“Hmph. Your word-smithing is preposterous, presumptuous, and patently premeditated!”
“I got voices in my head tellin’ me to blow stuff up, too! They haven’t been wrong so far!”
and, of course,
“and this just happens to be - a LEMONADE BAR”
Favourite thing: this series
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Harry Potter AU, music AU, GoT AU, super strong Alain AU
send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it - accepting!
Harry Potter AU
There’s a stone windowsill that Steven used to sit on, leaning against the wall and looking out the window towards the lake. It was a quiet part of the castle where nobody would disturb him.
Steven’s parents went a bit overboard with buying Ravenclaw merch his first year. Jumpers, scarves, flags, ‘Ravenclaw Dad!’ and all that cheesy stuff.
His mother was also a Ravenclaw. His father is a muggle.
Annually donates a hefty amount to the Mossdeep Space Center where witches and wizards are interested in exploration outside of their planet.
Kept in touch with fellow Triwizard competitors Cynthia and Lance after graduation, save for the one year he spent in isolation recovering from depression.
Music AU
His indie label is called Steel Wing Records and is based out of Silver Lake in Los Angeles, but originally from his home office in Palo Alto.
Prefers to use LogicPro or even GarageBand over the other DAW.
Other than Alain, he later signs a four piece rock band from Brooklyn (though they’re distributed by Universal), a pop singer & producer duo from Chicago, and offers a development deal to a young songwriter also from California based out of France.
Has an excellent rapport with NME…because it’s Steven.
Favourite genre is 60s-90s rock, but lately prefers synth based music as long as the production is showcased and is not lazily mixed with compression or quintuple layering.
Game of Thrones AU
House Stone from Rustboro in the Hoenn region is heavily based off of House Tyrell. His parents were allied with the former king but now Steven is looking to find ‘friends’ in anyone who brings him closer to the throne in the most subtly diplomatic way.
He has a curious side, mainly in how Valyrian steel was made, where the apparent magic from the past went, and if enchantments left on stone tablets mean anything now.
Growing up, he wanted to be an explorer but noble birth means that travelling is out of the question.
His favourite snack is lemon cakes, though this may not be a good thing.
Is far more spoiled and selfish in this verse, mainly because he never had to act the part of a grown up yet.
K-Gay AU
Steven’s favourite character in the newest franchise is the one with a jetpack.
His family life is the most strained here, mainly due to the fact that there are so many stepmothers and stepbrothers that come and go.
He has an extremely busy schedule, which consists of ‘finding a presentable new outfit,’ ‘therapeutic day,’ and ‘test the PTR.’
His claim of eating one meal a day is a total lie. He enjoys the meals in the Ainsoft cafeteria and insta-ramen noodles when he’s bored.
Is Platinum rank, but pretends to be Master.
#alainanyone#[ if you say so ] answered#[ hidden depths ] headcanon#[ v; magic in the midnight sun ]#[ v; cinema and auditory ]#[ v; tip my hat to the dead ]#[ v; tbd ]
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