#girls is gender neutral bcs im nonbinary and i said so <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my-castles-crumbling · 4 months

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Hey Cas,

You seem like the sweetest person ever! I’ve followed you for a few months now and you respond to all these anons who are working out their identities and sexuality’s and I just feel like you’re so amazing for that!

That being said, I am also in your ask box for the same thing. I need help with working out my gender identity.

I saw your response to the ‘dancer anon’ (I think it was that one otherwise another anon) and you put a link which could help explain the difference between expression, identity etc.

So you seem quite resourceful.

I was wondering if you had any resources about pronouns and terms that people feel comfortable using.

For example, I am afab, I hate being called a girl but I like being called a sister. I hate being called a women or a lady, but in the future I would want to be a mother. Does this make sense?

Oh by the way bc I didn’t mention before. I know that I am not trans ftm. I think I’m somewhere in the non binary spectrum (still don’t know the exact term tho).

Like I think I go by genderqueer just bc I have no idea, but I do want to know the exact label and I’ve read through all definitions and stuff and nothing fits me!

Ok so I’m rambling now and don’t know what I’m talking about but baisically im asking if you have any helpful resources that I can look at with nouns/terms people use so that I can see what best fits me. Idk if this is silly or not, like honestly you don’t have to respond, but thanks for being the best!

Hi!

Of course I can give you some resources!

So here is a list of nonbinary identities that might work for you!

Here is the most extensive list of pronouns I could find. I'm sure there are more out there and some people choose to make up their own!

And here is a list of many gender-neutral terms to replace often-used gendered terms!

Remember, it's up to you what terms feel okay. I don't mind being called "wife" but I hate being called a "lady." It's okay to have specific things that are comfortable!

Also, this isn't silly! It's normal to explore your likes and dislikes and your identity.

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

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wearequeer-andwearehere · 3 years

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hi there !! i personally am the most comfortable and euphoric when being referred to using he/they and masc or neutral gendered terms. i was wondering if that makes me transmasc? i like dressing up more masc leaning and love when i look masc (as in my stance looks 'boyish' rather than 'girly' bc im afab) in photos and when my voice sounds hoarse and deep-ish. ive always been a bit 'boyish' and rough in my mannerisms even as a child but i also do not identify fully as a man bc my afab experiences are very prevalent and constant esp in the country i live in which is full of misogynists and conservatives. i also feel pretty when i dress fem but i dont know if i specifically feel or like being fem or just a masc who likes to be fem presenting sometimes :((

gender questioning and finding the right term is so complicated,, u don't have to if u want but i'd rly like to hear your thoughts on this as someone who /is/ transmasc <3

Heya mate :D

Okay, I’m going to try to explain this to you best I can but I don’t know if I can put it into words, but I’ll try my best!

So you’ve said that he/they and masc/neutral terms make you euphoric, and you have a masculine gender presentation—those are things that are connected to transmasculinity, yes, but they aren’t necessarily always transmasc things. A gnc cis girl can feel euphoric when he’s referred to with masc terms because it validates his gender nonconformity, a transmasc person can feel euphoric because it validates his gender, it’s all really about the person.

While euphoria, dysphoria, gender presentation, pronouns, and all that other stuff can be connected to transness or be an aspect of transness, that isn’t what makes you trans. What makes you trans is being trans. That’s it. You don’t have to have a certain experience, if you are trans, you are trans.

My gender experience is pretty similar to yours—I get euphoria from masc terms and he/they pronouns and I’m pretty masc presenting, and these are related to my transmasculinity, yes, but what makes me trans is being trans. That’s it.

So what I think you should try is sitting down and forgetting everything, putting aside euphoria and dysphoria and pronouns and presentation and clothes, and ask yourself, what gender are you?

Because while pronouns and clothes can be connected to gender, they aren’t what determines it.

When I was trying to figure out if I was trans or not I was caught up in a whirlwind of pronouns and presentation and masculine and feminine and euphoria and dysphoria, and it made me hella confused, but what helped was disregarding all those things and sitting down and asking myself, am I trans? No matter what pronouns or how I dress, what is my gender?

And then I thought about it and realised I was trans, and while I use he/they and present masc because of my transness, as I said earlier, being trans is what makes me trans. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

I can’t tell you if you’re transmasc, but I can tell you this—ask yourself, what makes you happy? Does being a gnc cis girl make you happy? Well then, go for it! Does being nonbinary make you happy? That’s awesome! Does being transmasc make you happy? Be transmasc!

So at the end of the day, it isn’t really pronouns or presentation or anything, or how you act, but being trans. And these things can be aspects of transness but transness is being trans. That’s it. And ask yourself what makes you happy and how you want your future self to live, who you want to be and who you are.

It’s going to all be okay—the trans community will love and support you no matter what, and your trans siblings are always here for you, and I for one will always support you as your older brother whether you’re cis or trans!!

I hope I could help you out, and I wish you luck on your gender journey! Lmk if you have any more questions, and have a great day/night :D

#ask #anon #helping out a questioning person #transmasc #transmasculine #ftm

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scriptlgbt · 7 years

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Cleaning up

Hi! Mod Scix here! We’re trying to cut our way through the inbox, and I’ve compiled a few similar asks. This post will be a lot of ask and very short answer. Please understand this isn’t me being rude, I’m just trying to be efficient so we can get less behind. (hee hee, “behind”)

The first category of questions are errors:

Anonymous said:

(nb 2/3) They’re feminine, but choose against HRT/surgeries (maybe later?) bc they’re on PREP and the combination might lead to lower bone density (they’re a MedSchool stdt, they’d know). And they’re on Prep bc their boyfriend, the protag, is Poz, but their relationship isn’t healthy (constant arguing and protag trying to decide NB-char’s career for them). But NB-char puts up with it for years. Partly for love, partly bc protag accepts their gender, and they think they won’t ever have that again

Anonymous said:

Clarifying a few things about my ask (I'm the anon with the love triangle): 1. Gender/sexuality is of minimum importance in this story. Tough to explain, but the MC doesn't really have a concept of those issues? She's afab but agender for all intents and purposes. 2. The relationship between the two men is way healthier/happier than that between the MC and her ex. 3. There's no animosity between the MC and her ex's current partner.

Sorry, the rest of your questions are missing. If it's still a relevant question, please resend.

The next set I call research:

@teal0cean said:

Hello!! Love you guys! I wanted to ask if you know about the history of HRT for trans males. As in. What was or wasnt available or how the process of transitioning was during some historical period or other (im interested in early 20th Century!)

@yevie said:

Do you have any information on what sorts of resources/information would be available for a (lower-middle class, 20 year old nursing student in a metropolitan area) trans man in 1995? [Resources in terms of both social transitioning, especially in his academic and work setting and also resources in the whole LGBT community aspect and having access to the language to describe his experiences.] (He's also gay and ace, if that's relevant.)

Anonymous said:

I heard theres discourse about the terms FTM/MTF/etc. whats that about??

Anonymous said:

So I've always wondered about this, but I don't to seem like I'm insulting anybody. :( I just really want to know how it works... but I'm to scared to ask so I'm going to drop it here, because I think you will understand! :) (1/2)

You see, If a female decides to do the transision to male. How will she get the male genitalia and loose the female one? I really want to know. Does it hurt? (2/2)

Anonymous said:

How and when do people realize they might be homosexual?

Anonymous said:

Can you think of any really good ideas for a short LGBTQ film? Thank you!

Anonymous said:

Do you know where I could read a bit more about lgbtq+ stereotypes so that I don't do it myself?

Anonymous said:

What is bi/tri/polygender

Anonymous said:

I am making a documentary so i need a good script on it in hindi, would you be able to provide it?

So these are all research questions. Not actually what we are here for, though we do sometimes dive in. The first couple may be tougher to find using google, but the rest are pretty easy to dig up. Or else need to be reworded to narrow the focus. And sometimes the questions we get have built-in assumptions that kinda make it impossible to answer fairly.

Like the assumption that we write Hindi.

If anyone wants to answer these, please be civil.

The next section is the quick answer:

Anonymous said:

Do any trans men choose not to take hormones, even if they're available to the person? I know this answer would really vary from person to person, but I'm thinking of writing a trans man who doesn't want to take hormones, and I'm not sure if that would be considered unusual or not really understanding of the desires most transgender people have.

@pan-at-thedisco said:

Is it plausible for a trans boy who can definitely afford transition surgery to choose not to? Is this something that happens often?

Yeah, transfolk sometimes choose not to get surgery or take hormones. Don’t worry about “often,” it’s fiction.

Anonymous said:

Hello there, I have this male character that I wrote a long time ago and only recently have I been seeing him as bi, now he has crushes on guys but he still ends up with a girl. I can't help but feel like I "cheated" in a way by making a bi character have a hetero relationship but I don't want to change his relationship. I just want to hear your opinion about this.

It's not a hetero relationship, because he is in it. Just don't write it that the new relationship is fixing him, or more real, or anything like that.

Anonymous said:

I want to ask about usage of the word "queer" not in reference to a person or their gender/sexual orientation. Its original meaning meant "strange." It later became a slur, and has now been reclaimed by some in the community. I'm wondering if it's still okay to use it in its original meaning (i.e. "In front of him was the queerest fog he'd ever seen.") or has the evolution of the word has made that no longer acceptable, even if you're writing period/a specific atmosphere?

Go for it! Just be aware it sounds kind of old-fashioned.

Anonymous said:

hi! do you think it would be considered ok for a nonbinary character in a historical setting to use their language's equivalent of "it/its" pronouns? i'm cis and i'm worried people will take it the wrong way, but the character just wants to be convenient as their language only has one set of gender-neutral pronouns and it's for inanimate objects

No. If it's a fictional language, then it can have a gender-unspecified pronoun that doesn't only refer to objects.

@dreamwishing said:

I have a rather odd question. Odd enough that I'm not sure where to ask. This may not be the right place, and if it's not, maybe you could point me in a direction? That would be great. Everyone asks how to avoid stereotyping lgbtq+ people, but...how do I avoid stereotyping homophobes and the like?

...make them rounded, complete characters with more than one thing in their life.

Anonymous said:

I have a villainous character who is a combination/amalgamation of various people of different genders/sexualities, and they don't have a gender. I'm planning to refer to the character with they/them pronouns, and it just doesn't feel right to give them a gender. But since they're a bad guy, would it be... what's the word... transphobic (I guess? you know what i mean) to portray them as agender? I have other agender characters, if that makes a difference. (It's fantasy btw)

Having other agender characters -- well-represented -- solves the issue for you just fine. Also, make the villain interesting. I love a good villain.

Anonymous said:

Will the mod/s be monitoring the comments at all? I've seen quite a few hateful replies and reblogs toward nonbinary and demisexual people. I would love to keep following, but it sucks having to be subjected to people invalidating my gender and sexuality in the comments.

There is nothing we can do about comments. "Never read the comments" is often a good idea. Alternately, block the blogs that are evil, and you'll soon find it was the same few all along. Anything really terrible, let us know so we can block them ourselves, and let our readers know.

That was a lot of work. I know it doesn’t look like much, but it took me a few hours and I’m wiped. Some kinds of work are more labor than they appear, and this is that kind of labor.

Still and all: love you all! Just not that way.

~~Mod Scix

#answers #writing advice #lgbt #<3 #:P

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