#gay ass fuckign people goddamn
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🌱stick of truuuuth styleeeeee my beloved
#gay ass fuckign people goddamn#my art#south park#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#sp#stick of truth#tsot#sot#style
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Gamers I would like to see: any strangers thing for the blorbo sheet 😏
OHHHHOHOHOHOHOHO BOY OK OK OK LET'S GO LET'S GO
UNDER TJE CUT BC THIS WILL BE LONG PROBS. BC HYPERFIXATION SHOWGJJGKDMFMGGM
STARTING OFF: THE BASTARD. BILLY
I went into this show like "Oh he's a jackass. I hope he dies I hope we all dies <3" Then system shit happened Uhhhhh anyways I'd kill for him. @ Fandom please be normal abt him he was a whole-ass kid who had like The Most God Awful Abusive Racist "Dad" (aka Neil) Ever. Okay? Okay. ok <3
ANYWAYS ABOUT THE MURDER: HE WAS POSSESSED. NOT HIS FAULT THAT AN OTHERWORLDLY BEING DECIDED TO USE HIM AS A PUPPET FOR CRIMES! HFNSKDMFMDKSJD
I think it's fucked up and evil that he's canonically dead but he isn't 2 us (both system reasons & both Fuck Canon reasons) fjdkdfn
Also before u ask what The Realization™ is: it is up 4 u 2 decide. hav fun
edit just realize the ficking. the boxes aren't transparent..................... fuckign. hell on earth IDC im jot fixing it these took like am hour to do. whatever MOVING ON!
NEXT UP: EDDIE
pov ur just a dude who likes loud music and tabletop games and ur entire town decides that u need 2 die bc of The Horrors (read: supernatural bullshit). SAD!! Like it is Literally not his fault Chrissy got Vecna'd. ok? ok. </3
ANYWAYS I THINK HE SHOULD KILL PEOPLE! I think he should kill people. Ignore how I think all my faves should kill people HE DESERVES TO KILL SOMEONE! Fucked up demon bats don't count!! fjskxmKfjcjjaksjc
ignoring system shit btw but he truly is just like our singletsona for real. Hyperfixates on Games?? Check. Is obviously very much ADHD & autistic???? Check. etc. etc. I can go onJGJDKSKFmfmd
omg it's S🅱️eve Sepsis (/inside joke??) omg <3.
SO IN S1 HE REALLY FUCKING SUCKED. LIKE...... HE WAS BAD. LIKE. USED SLURS AND WAS JUST GENERALLY A HUGE ASSHOLE.
bUT Uhhhhh he Got Better (read: accidentally became an adoptive parent to like 6? 7????? children,) and also other things (such as Experiencing The Horrors, Acquiring Brain Damage, Becoming Besties With Gay People) Anyways he's normal as of like s3 and onward. we don't talk abt s2 bc it is boring (also bc we don't remember itFJFJDKDKF)
He Has Killed Many Monsters but afaik he has yet to kill A Human Person. I may be wrong tho but i don't remember..,,,, cjakdkfk
OK NOW THEIR KINDA ADJACENT CHILDREN/SIBLINGS OF SORTS LET'S GO
FIRST CHILD: MAX
As a child I too was also very tomboyish and loved music and was a social outcast </3. I care her a lot. One of the coolest kids fr NFNDMZNF
I do Not like how the show's handled her character-wise and On God If She Doesn't Fucking Wake Up In S5 I Will Riot. Also she needs to kill Neil too (DID YOU KNOW THAT WE COLLECTIVELY HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER. FJDJSJSJAJAKDKFMFMDSKFKF)
for clarification on the murder™: in s2 Billy almost killed Steve (and,,, according to the fandom Lucas too but *mildpanic* I'M NOT. GOING TO OPEN THAT CAN OF WORMS IN THIS POST) so naturally Max tranquilized him and then threatened to bash his face in with a nail bat. WHICH! WAS DESERVED YES! BUT. Y'KNOW WHAT THIS IS A RAMBLE FOR A DIFFERENT POST LET'S LEAVE JT AT THATJFJKDKFGK
ANYWAYS GIVE THIS KID THERAPY GODDAMN!!
ok this one is vaguely system influenced bc our Eddie adopted our El so. There's that HFNSKF.
She's literally a walking mass murder weapon (AND YES SHE'S KILLED PEOPLE. MULTIPLE TIMES. THAT'S KIND OF HER THING) and she has Fucked Up Psychic Powers. She was stuck in a lab until she was middle school aged and life has been pain for her almost ever since.
I want 2 see her v happy and just being a kid but also if the show ends at s5 then I need 2 see her just fucking Eviscerate Papa without hesitation. Fuck that guy I hope he burns in hell.
.... omg her backstory is so edgy actually it's so funny. Anyways whatever she's cool actually NFNSSKF
IT'S HIM!! DUSTIN!!! GET A LOAD OF THIS KID!!!!!! ONE OF THE KIDS OF ALL TIME!!!!! i see him and I'm like I Will Commit Violence For U. GNNFMDF
He is literally just A Kid. But also he's p much Steve's adopted brother by s2 (i think. maybe it was by s3 i DoNT REMEMBER JGJDKG) they're like besties ur honour!
He Is One Of The Braincell Holders™ I Think. definitely btwn him and Steve that's for sureGJDJSKKFGK
here's 2 hoping s5 also treats him well too (ALONG W STEVE. AND MAX. AND EL.,,, and eddie actually i refuse to believe that [DATA EXPUNGED]. ok.) if anything happens to him, well! Y'know! 🔪!!!!
#ask#long post#THANK U WEAST THIS TOOK LIKE 2 HOURS 2 COMPOSE I THINK. FJNDKAMDCMCNNJSNDJF#//readies The Empty Wrapping Paper Tube// don't come @ us for our opinions on billy don't come @ us for it etc. etc. or so help me god#<== again. thoughts 4 a different post. but jsut. Please. Æ. fjsjsjjckxjsjdjc
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Alright, tell me about saint seiya.
YESSSSS THANK YOU BESTIE THIS SHOW IS SOO NORMAL I PROMISE <3
SO LET’S START WITH THE FACT THAT THE PROTAGONISTS ARE JUST A GROUP OF 13-YEAR-OLD BOYS WHO DONT FEAR DEATH AND ONE (1) 15-YEAR-OLD WHO THINKS HE’S THE SHIT (HE ISN’T). AND ALSO GOD IS THERE IG. GOD IS A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL.
the power system and worldbuilding are soo good and the show will Not let you forget Anything unless they do. one episode has a character say “five bronze saints defeated a silver saint?” literally five times because you Need to understand that five bronze saints defeated a silver saint. on the other hand there’s some shit they’ll say one (1) time and then just think you’ll remember it and bring it up fifty episodes later. never forget how they introduced a rival character only to put him on the bus for the rest of the series. the main character’s whole ass character motive (finding his sister after they were separated so he could become a saint) was forgotten until the very goddamn end of this show it’s so funny
THIS SHOW IS LITERALLY THAT ONE POST THATS LIKE “WHEN THE SHOUNEN SO MISOGYNISTIC IT’S JUST GAY” AND WHILE I HATE THAT THEY DONT TREAT THE GIRL CHARACTERS WELL IT’S SOO FUNNY TO ME.
i also find it extremely hilarious how so much of this show is just these grown ass adults trying their goddamn hardest to kill these children. they just. can’t. like they just can’t fucking kill these kids it’s so funny to me. saga spent like the bigger half of the original 80s series trying to kill saori and he just couldn’t fucking do it this almost-30 man was just completely unable to kill this 13yo girl. because she’s god. thats why he couldnt kill her.
ALSO SDOIVHSFPDOVSHFD THESE 13YOS GROUPED UP AND KILLED THE CONCEPT OF DEATH. LIKE THEY KILLED HADES, THE GUY WHO’S BEEN ALIVE SINCE BEFORE THE WORLD, THE GUY WHO FINDS A NEW HOST EVERY 100 YEARS, THE GUY WHO KEEPS HIS HOSTS FOREVER AND KEEPS THEIR BODIES STASHED AWAY AFTER THEY DIE, THE GUY WHO IS LITERALLY DEATH. THESE 13YO BOYS WHO HAD A BIT OF A BAD DAY JUST FUCKIGN KILLED HIM. IT WAS SO FUNNY.
one of the boys just constantly removes his armor to get stronger which?/??? ok king. that’s the opposite of what removing your armor would do but ok. go off
the designs in this show are sooo fucking good except when they aren’t. trust me there’s a reason why a solid chunk of the gold saints never wear their helmets.
ALSO THE MUSIC FOR THIS SHOW FUCKS SO HARD?????? LIKE. PEGASUS FANTASY MY FUCKING BELOVED THIS SONG FUCKS SO HARD IT DOESN’T SURPRISE ME THEY REUSED IT FOR THE UNOFFICIAL SEQUEL (WHICH I ALSO LIKE DESPITE IT BEING REALLY BAD)
since this is me making this i need to say: andromeda shun is the best character in the entire franchise (this includes every spinoff, not just the actual series) and he’s the strongest of the bronze saints you people just don’t wanna admit that he’s stronger than ikki because he’s the “girly” one. also if you say shun is the girly one i’ll kill you all he did was wear pink and cry a little bit.
#the-mediocre-writer#milk.mail#saint seiya#I LITERALLY DONT HAVE THE WORDS TO THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT THIS TALKING ABT STS IS SO FUNNY WHEN ITS TO PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABO#UT IT#SHUN MY FUCKING BELOVED IM HOLDING HIM. APHRODITE ALSO MY BELOVED IM SORRY I DIDNT TALK ABOUT YOU KING
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So we watched (nay, Experienced) the BBC/Netflix Dracula series
Brought to us by everyone’s favourite team, Steve Moff and Mark Gatiss, promising to be an innovative and exciting new vision of the classic novel
Boy it was definitely something!!!
First I will say: obviously Moff is not my favourite TV writer and my fam and I did go into this with a bias. I’m happy to report, though, that it’s going to be one of these shows that haunts me forever, because if it had just been bad I could have said “bleh” and deleted it from my brain. But because parts of this were genuinely cool, interesting, and fun, and parts of it genuinely had potential, all the bits that were bad stand out as so much worse and the whole thing feels as cursed as a 500 year old undead count.
Things that were enjoyable and well put-together:
Van Helsing has been gender-swapped into a vampire-hunting nun and her cat-and-mouse game with Dracula is rife with belligerent sexual tension. I was ready to hate this, and ready for like, Sherlock and Irene Adler 2.0, but their dynamic was actually pretty fun to watch! Their power balance is kept even throughout most of the show, and Helsing is never struck down because of ~womanly failings~ or infantilised. She’s consistently really clever and, even if there are some cringey one-liners, I found her and Draccy’s playful quest to murder each other one of the most fun parts of the show. It could’ve been better, but it was enjoyable! (I also like how Helsing isn’t Young and Hot, but is a capable older lady, and her actor and Draccy’s even seem about the same age. Amazing)
The second episode is a spooky murder mystery/horror mini-movie on a ship, with a cast full of interesting characters who all had different things going on and different relationship dynamics that were compelling to watch. There’s even an interracial gay couple! And they’re like, written pretty sympathetically and to be layered and flawed in ways that didn’t feel too stereotypical! And they don’t die first!! Wack! I understand the bar is on the ground, but it’s still worth a mention
Some fun with vampire lore: Draccy absorbs knowledge and traits from people he drinks blood from (which is how he learns languages. Get Duolingo, dude, stop eating people), leading to the intriguing suggestion that myths like “vampires will die in sunlight” and “vampires are afraid of holy symbols” have kinda become real to him even if they don’t literally work, because he’s swallowed so many people to whom these superstitions and beliefs were law. I’m sure this isn’t the first time this has been done, but groundbreaking or no it was kinda neat
Things that were not enjoyable and well put-together:
EVERYTHING ELSE
Episode 1: a weird speedrun of most of the original novel, feat. weaponised nuns and a weird fixation on whether or not Jonathan Harker and Draccy boned. They did not. Dracula pops out of the body of a wolf and he’s Whole Ass Naked. Him and Van Helsing have a power play where she stands just on the threshold of a convent and calls him a little bitch, knowing he can’t come and get her. A knife is licked.
Episode 2: aforementioned cool ship horror story. Definitely the best ep. It really makes me think about hbomb’s critique that Moff is pretty good at doing standalone stories (and pilots), but when things are tied into a bigger narrative things get zonkers.
Episode 3: Things Get Zonkers!!
Let me just. Okay. I have the most to say about this one because this is where things really got batshit. And yet, also really boring? How does that figure? Anyway:
Dracula emerges from under the sea and finds that 123 years have passed and he’s now the star of a Modern AU. Upon setting foot on British sand he is immediately accosted by what appears to be an anti-vampire task force. There’s a helicopter. It is later explained how they knew to pounce on him at this exact moment, but holy god it was wild to watch the entire British Secret Service descend on this one wet bastard in a suit
The editing shifts aggressively in the direction of Sherlock. Mark Gattis is there playing an amazingly annoying character. There’s a fuckign.... Underground Secret Society devoted to studying vampires and they put Drac in a Designated Glass Prison for Smug Geniuses (also as seen in Sherlock). Van Helsing is dead but her great-great-grand-niece is played by the same actress and. Okay. Van Helsing, vampire hunting nun, possesses her descendent and rises through the ether to roast Drac one last time, and he’s DELIGHTED TO SEE HER AGAIN.
And she has cancer, right, so her blood is poisonous when Draccy tries to bite her, but in the end, right, the end of the episode, right, the final shots of the show, he comes to a place where he’s willing to die, and she’s already dying, and so he drinks her blood and they die together on a table while cinematic metaphor vision shows them having sex in the middle of the sun
There was a badly CGI-ed vampire baby. Jonathan Harker falls from a tower and a scene later they flash back to this event by reversing the footage of him falling down, meaning we just see him go VWOOP up through the air, bouncing off the wall on the way. Van Helsing says the words “come boy, suckle” when she’s goading Drac into drinking her blood. The show sits in a weird middle ground where the characters talk about sex a lot (”dID yOu HaVe sExUaL iNterCOURSE with COUNT DRACULA?”) and Drac is clearly meant to be super magnetic and sexy but the characterisation and cinematography is not horny at all. People have these sexy-type dreams of their lover of choice when Drac is drinking their blood but even those are very boring and weirdly chaste, except of course for the final one where, if I can take the chance to remind you, Van Helsing and Dracula have symbolic Mind Palace sex inside the centre of the solar system
I can’t speak too much on its quality as an adaptation since I actually haven’t read the book, but splitting the story so that some characters (the Harkers, Van Helsing) existed in the time the story is set, and some (Lucy, Dr Seward) exist in The Modern AU felt very strange. Was there any reason to set the third episode in modern times, apart from the fact that I guess they wanted to do their Sherlock thing again? Or, perhaps, because they wanted to do their Jekyll thing again?? Oh my god, that’s what the editing reminds me of - the small clips of Jekyll I’ve seen. The zooming. The slow-mo. The emphasis on The Monster Man’s weird goddamn teeth
(Also, I don’t really feel qualified to dig too deep into it, but I will say there felt something a bit uncomfortable about Lucy being black in this version, while also being written to be very promiscuous and vain. idk. Also, since it happened in an ep of Sherlock as well, “weedy white Nice Boy rescues the Very Cool woman of colour he has a tragically unrequited crush on” is now an official Moffattis trope)
Count Moffatula is an experience. Its pacing is buck wild. The speeding through the original plot and the mish-mashing of elements in the Modern AU section feels like another expression of contempt for the source material on Moff’s part. Someone says “reality is overrated” in a show set in the 1890s. Draccy quotes a Beatles song. He also makes quippy allusions to having eaten various famous figures and basically winks at the camera every time. Granted, this wasn’t as obnoxious as I was maybe expecting, but there are still too many lines of dialogue where you think “oh, the writers high-fived each other after they wrote that one, huh”. The fact that Moff has such vitriol against fan fic writers is more and more grating every day because this is so, so clearly a zany-ass fanfic that he happens to be getting paid for. The costumes are nowhere near as nice as they could have been, and Dracula’s cape looks like his mum made it for him for the school play in which he is playing Dracula.
This show is So Much. Watch it to share in this fever dream. Or don’t, and save approximately 5 hours of your life. God. 5 hours. Who was I before Count Maffatula. Who am I now. Why was his cape so bloody ugly. Why did they bone in the centre of the sun
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I’m gonna be a fuckin bitch for this post and i’m not really sorry i don’t think.
So i’m in college. For social work. To help people. You know. Getting my life together. And in the beginning I made a friend who likes nintendo games and i was like OH BOY, MAYBE THEY LIKE METROID. they did not and i have continuously made the mistake of associating with this kid. Like almost every day he does something that makes my skin crawl with the feeling of “oh my god i canNOT relate to this kid at all”.
At first my issue with him was that he reminded me exactly of Tristan except not evil. My second issue was just that he gave me wicked secondhand embarrassment. My third issue is that I have not the slightest idea why he’s still in this course, he has proved time and time again that he has learned nothing.
The first red flag that went up for me was personal because he reminded me of Tristan. The second one went up when he said that he felt gay people were shoving their gayness down people’s throats and that he was sick of the rainbow flag. When he first said that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I told him about the ratio how many straight movies there are compared to gay ones, I told him about how the rainbow flag is a symbol of safety and acceptance, WE HAVE ONE IN OUR GODDAMN CLASSROOM. He told me that in highschool almost every classroom had a gay flag in it and almost everyday there was a class discussion about it. I asked him if it was the students or teachers who brought it up and he said “mehhhh it was the students” SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS ME? THAT THOSE WERE GAY OR TRANS STUDENTS NEEDING ACCEPTANCE. AND YOU’RE HERE IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF THIS RAINBOW FLAG, COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM. He wanted to “agree to disagree” about it but I was like “no man your views are potentially harmful”. People overheard us arguing and they sided with me, the student council president i think it was spoke to us and said (in response too “theres too much gay stuff”) “I’m actually trying to get them to paint the crosswalks here rainbow”, so like, take that.
And we talk about this stuff in class fairly often. We’ve spoken about the importance of symbols, identity, flags, safe spaces, we get DEEP into it. But you know what this kid does all class? He looks at memes or plays fire emblem heroes on his phone, sometimes he plays his whole ass switch in class. OR! or or or, he gets up and leaves in the middle of a lesson that holds CRITICAL information that would help him become less ignorant and prejudiced. Just the other week we were talking about how straight people will never know the struggle, the oppression, that nonstraight people face, and of course this kid was just playing on his phone, and ohohoho the instructor called him on it and got mad and it was honestly? So satisfying.
So I had to be the one to explain to him what oppression is and how fuckign serious it is. People fucking die man. This was around the time the whole “gays own splatoon” thing happened and the dude was SO upset about it. I was like “.... you realize those are all jokes right? Nobody means anything by it”. He sort of got it but one thing he said is like, big fuckin yikes. He said he seen a meme on the drawing feature or whatever that said “straight people suck at splatoon” or something and he said he was actually offended by that and if it wasn’t for the fact that his best friend is a lesbian, these jokes that he’s seeing would probably turn him into a little bit of a homophobe. And because I had to be civil and he did want my help I was like “you have to work on that, you NEED to do something about that”. Because you can’t be like that in general and you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be like that going into the field we’re going into.
I wish he paid attention in class so then he wouldn’t come to me to ask “hey how do i not be homophobic” and get me all mad but then i cant get mad because that doesnt help either of us. at least its good practice for the future and any weirdos i get in my career.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh “at least”. That’s one of his favourite things to say :))))))))) at least at least at least AT LEEAST. We’ve been through a semester and a half of counselling skills and you still have not learned how to properly console people. “At least” belongs in a pity pile, “At least” is you saying “youre problems arent THAT bad :)” you think it sounds nice but really youre just belittling the person and their issues. oh my fuck he SMOTHERS people if they’re having problems. Last week I guess I was “off” or some shit idk! something i didnt wanna talk to him about, AND HE KEPT GOING ON “whats wrong. do you wanna talk about it. you seem upset. you seem upset. whats wrong. im here”, SO I TURNED TO THE DUDE AND WAS LIKE “You’re going to make me a lot worse if you keep asking, and you and I both know you hate it when I get angry :)” like im ready to verbally rip this kid a new one i am SO ready.
Today he was smothering one of our friends because they went through a break up and oh my god even the tone of voice he uses sets off my shut-the-fuck-up reflexes ?? He was like “do you need anything, do you need snacks, do you need a hug, do you want me to buy you something, do you want me to rough him up, do you want me to send him a message, please dont cry crying is bad, do you want a hug” and our poor friend just sat their sulking not saying anything PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS SMOTHERING THEM. They got up and went somewhere so i turned to him and said “YOU ARE SMOTHERING THEM (awkward laugh to attempt to hide my anger) you are smothering them you cant do that. So he said “Hey you know word of advice you need to word things better because you might hurt someone’s feelings” and all i said was “right”. Then later in the day I’m talking to our heartbroken friend and I’m using actual skills we learned in class and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, we’re making progress and they’re talking about it to me.
I’m so aggressive with this dude because 1, i cant stand him, and 2, he hasnt gotten it through our non aggressive talks in class. I wanna kick this into him, like 2013 tumblr style LISTEN UP FUCKER type of shit.
When i explained to him a few weeks ago that Homophobia Is Bad, do you know how he thanked me????????? He gave me his copy of ssb melee. That game is like his pride and joy and it sells for 80 fucking dollars and he gave it to some bitch that doesnt even like him. I don’t even want a thank you for telling you to not be a homophobic piece of shit. So now I have this copy of melee that i feel horrendous about having because I don’t even like this kid anymore i’m sick of him.
and the week after he gave me that guess what i found out haha???? HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUOUSLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS I DO NOT GET IT.
Last week he left a bag of those hersheys clusters on my part of the table and when i seen them a wave of defeat and anger washed over me, i dont want your fuckin gifts, i dont want your money, i dont want you to give me things because you like me. i do not appreciate it. it feels wrong. I think he cried because i didn’t acknowledge the bag. after class he said he got them for me and i told him i didnt feel right taking them, so he said “just pretend that they came out of nowhere” and i shook my head and said no and i left them there. idk what happened to that bag.
twice back in september he commented on my eating habits, said i had a sweet tooth WHEN I WAS EATING HEALTH FRUIT GUMMIES???? so now i cant eat in front of him or else i panic.
we’re fine texting each other but i really do not enjoy being around him irl. and today i came to the realization that I’m not gonna get along and vibe with everybody, he just happens to be one of those people.
so now i’m like, angry a lot of the time again because i have to deal with him and his terrible work ethics and tristan transference
I should’ve known he didn’t like metroid.
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Prompt: lion king crossover ❤️Singing anon
NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS isILO bagithi Baba! Translation: Look, there’s a monster. Some people call that monster “daddy.” Those people are furries.
it’s the CIIIIIIRCLE OF CUUUUUUUURSE
adam gets plowed over by the, the fucking, what are they called, cows with horns, the WILDEBEESTS. when he wakes up, HE IS ONE!! WOW!!! THE DRAMATIC RIGOR. THE HAMLETNESS. the fucking....where was i
oh i just can’t wait to be GAY, sings lefou, as the entire tavern turns into a colorful gay pride parade
belle is out of temper because, well, fucking dumb reasons really, it’s only that her dad’s been kidnapped and now she’s kidnapped and there’s a fucking candelabra explaining souffle to her. ‘HAKUNA MATATA,’ madame de garderobe explains, ,, for , reasonss,,,,,
but there’s problems at pride rock because! uh!! gaston thinks everyone needs to BE PREPARED for him being an entire and complete fuck hole
how the fuck do i tie this back to beauty and the beast
tom dick and stanley are hyenas! fucking SURPRISE
CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT IT IS plumette and lumiere making sweet, sweet romance
*long sounds of me dawdling trying to get these two fuckign disney movies to work together*
oh! right! ‘long live the king’ says uh, gaston, idk we had to fucking get the FUCKING quote in here
?????????? giraffes?????????????
lumiere wearing a lei for no goddamn reason “distracting” the battle my fucking ass
adam’s dad appears in the sky with the voice of james earl jones and we all tell him to fuck off
uh. it ends how it begins. circle of curse. something. asante sana squash banana, wewe nugu mimi hapana aaaAAAagh
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“we are so (thot) married”
i was bored so i decided to write a parody of the first chapter of my good comrade @theseerofdoomisunaltered‘s magnum opus “we are so (not) married”, if i have time maybe ill do the rest but no promises bc im a lazy inconsistent bitch lmao
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hizashi was fuckin PISSEd!
he was angery and is upset bc shouta THAt dumB THOT had gone and goetten himself injured AGEIN!!!! he hadnt sleeped in 69 hours (hehe) bc he was 2 busy gettin turnt with tha bois (painkillers and mowten dew) and had goten into a fite with some villens (fourth graders) bc they sed cats were lame.
showta got carried by on a stretcher and hibachi pissed himself and not even in the kinyk way. paremdedics kept hziashi from geting close to the stretcher or the room shota is carreid into.
“shit boi u fam?” a nurse asked.
“no’ mic sobbed loudly. “we;r emore like,, friends wtih benefits? as in, i beneFIT this dick up his ass ayy lmao” he lamaoed thru his tears.
the nurse kept askieng quetions but hizashy was sobbing too loudely to hear so he just said yes bc why not its good enouff 4 improv rite? the nurses let haizashi pass so he RAN into shotuas room, screming so loudly he killed like four people and a dog.
shoauta looked like he’d gotten fucked by knife dicks in all six holes at once. one of his legs was being held together with silly string and glue (aizawa was sniffing the bottel) and he was covered in blood and helo kitty bandaids. to put it simply he looked fine as fuck and mic was super fuckign horny for him but his teeers killed his boner
“mike u ignoernt slut ur so fcukin loud” aizawa moaned, taking a big hit from the glue bottle.
hizashey wanted to screm but he didnt want to get sued for murdeer again like last time so he kept his mouth shut by tenderly taking the glue bottle from aizawa and shovig it up his own ass.
“wat, arent u gonna offer me some simpathy sex?” aizawa asked raiesing an eyberow.
“maybe later” hixzashy wept sobbily. “right now im too full of emotion and ass glue to present my mic up ur bootyhole.
aizawa tenderly patted mic on the cheek with his scotch-taped cock (cock tape) and then licked the tears off his nuts. “its all good in the hood”
“All is N OT good in the hood you jelly filled fucknut!” mic screamed tearfully and angrily. “what if u are is DIED??? then the two of us could never cha-cha real smooth again!??? HOW COD U DO THIS TO MEH>???? IF U DIED,,,,,,” hizsahy cried and nutted at the same time “i’d die 2 bc my gay ass cant fuckien drive but its too far to walk 2 school so id try yo drive anyway and id crash the car and die and it would be ALL UR FOLT!!!!”
aizawa just rolled over in the hosptial bed and ripped his hospital gown open,e xposing his lush bird nest of chest hair and supple pink nips screaming out for slurpage. “ur so dramatic” he whsiepred seductively. “why dont u quit the shakespeare and start suckspeareing me off?”
hizashy wiped away his tears and got to succking. the nurse walked in as hizashi was giving aizawa some eraserHEAD if u know wat i mean. she crumbeled some paperwork into balls and threw them at mic and them stormed off.
“FILL THOSE OUT YA GODDAMN TWINK”
mic fillde out the paperwork with aizawas pen(is) and tehn tenderly cradeld aizawa in his arms (carefully cupping his nuts for protecktion of course) and got on the roomba he used insted of a car bc his gay ass never learned how 2 fuckin driev. “vrroom vroom bitch” he said as they sped away at a blistering pace of .005 mph from the hospital. “the ass-magnet 9000 is in motion fuckers!”
‘take me 2 taco bell” aizawa whined. “i hav some casual craigstlist sex solicitors to meet for dinner tonite”
“NO CASUAL CRAGESLIST SEX UNTIL U RECOVER FROM UR INJURIES!” hizashi screamed. “IM GONNA TAKE CARE OF U, U BIG SALTY BABY” hizashy was super mcfuckin gay for aizwa so watching him get fucked the hell up and then just want to immedetly get back on the plow horse (so to speak) and jump into th e casual craigslist sex wasnt fun.
hziashi did a sick ollie off his roomba and knocked the door down with his throbbing erection only to promptyl start sobbing when he got a dick splinter.
“u dum fuck thats wy u shoud go thru the door like a normal person” aizawa grumbled as he sucked out the dick splinter. “for fucking out loud even that 5 dollar thottie ALL MIGHT, SYMBOL OF PEACE TM goes thru doors like a normal person.” shouta thought for amoment. “well except for the one time at that christmas party in april,,”
“well YEAH but if i didnt kick down the door dick first wat kind of pro hero wold i be?” hizashi protested
“one wihtoout dick splinters”
“ya ok tru”
hizashy threw aizawa over his shoulder like a thicc sack of poatatos and caried him 2 his lightning mcqueen racecar bed where they made the sekcs for 35 seconds before aizawa fell asleep. mic, exhausted from the hwole dick splinter fiasco, fell aslep too, resting his head on shoutas soft pillowy ass.
he woke up the next morning when nemuri broke down his door and started kicking his ass “HIZASSHI YOU STUPID BITCH HO W D ARE U GET MARRIED WITHOUT ME????”
tensei, who had been wheeled in in a weelbarrow, slapped mic in the face with one of those rubber stretchy extendy hands that he carried around for that express purpose. “YEAH YOU WHORE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BRIDESMAID DAMMIT I ALREADY HAD MY OUTFIT ALL PICKED OUT I WAS GONNA WEAR THIS DANK ASS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG COSPLAY AND U FUCKERS R O B B ED ME OF MY HAPPINESS”
“wat in the fresh hell are u talkign about?” hizash asked confusedly.
tensei whipped out his rose gold iphone 69 and hsowed hiszashi a news report that said “THEY GAY BITCH” followed by a picture of mic and aizawa doin the scooby dooby doo on the hospital bed.
“Everyones shook af by the news that screme mcmeme, also known as president michael, and iceicezawa are married!” the report said. there was a picture of one of the paramedics mic had accidently murdered with his screaming. before dying she had apparently tweeted to the news and told them that mic had said YEAH when she asked if he was married to the patient shoota and so now everyone in the world new they were gay and thogth they were married!!!
some ppl like tensei and nemuri were happy (about the marriege anyway, in general tensei wasnt happy bc his twitter had got hacked and the entire internet could see his turbo-nudes and his ingeniDONG) but there were some bitch ass hos that were not plesed with this developement.
for example endevor had posted in the yuotube comments of a video entirely unrelated to the marraige thing “these daM hOME OF SEXAULS keep ruinging eeverything with their GAY AJENDA!!!! my son looked at a Gay once and hes fuckin gay now, thx oBamA!!111! THIS IS THE FUTERE LIBERALS WANT!11! present mic?? more like present CUCK!!1!”
hizashi dropped the phone. how was he gonna explain this to the internet? how was he gonna explain this to shouta?!?????
tune in next week for more fuckery, i can probably get this done in three chapters lol, if not three then DEFINITELY six, it sure would be wild if it ended up being nine chapters huh lamao
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loneliness </\///\|/3
a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.
(found that name on hardcore baby names)
–chmapter jop–
before the tríp
It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.
“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.
Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.
“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”
Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.
*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.
“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.
Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”
HOLY MOTHER OF
F U C K
JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
WHAT THE S H IT DUDE
ace will remember this.
Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”
“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”
“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”
“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”
Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao
“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”
Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”
Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.
Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.
Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”
Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.
“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.
“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.
Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.
“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.
“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”
Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.
“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”
Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.
“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.
“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”
chapter dos
two four trucks
The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.
sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!
truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS
truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron
truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis
truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper
truck two.
Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.
“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”
“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”
“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”
Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.
“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”
“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”
truck three.
The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.
Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.
“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”
“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”
Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”
Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”
*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.
truck four.
“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”
TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.
“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.
They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”
The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”
“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”
After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.
And finally, the first truck.
truck one.
Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.
“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.
“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.
“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.
“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”
Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.
“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.
“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”
…
“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”
“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”
the grocewy stowe
The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.
“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”
“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.
MOTHERFUCKER.
A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.
“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”
A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)
oh, son of a B I T C H .
it's the french lady who smells weird.
Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.
Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.
So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?
Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.
It's the middle of October.
This is their anniversary vacation.
Shit.
in the store
Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.
Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????
a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.
you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”
“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”
parking lot.
Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.
Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.
“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.
WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,
B I T C H !! !! !!
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hey i was tagged ilke a month ago to do this by @empainada ily i’m LATE ;00
1) do you have a good relationship with your parents?
yeah !! it’s been rocky in the past but it’s all chill now
2) who did you last say ‘i love you’ to?
@llurae >;3cc
3) do you regret anything?
obviously?? who tf doesn’t lmao
4) are you insecure?
whom the fuck isn’t insecure,,
5) what is your relationship status?
tragically single,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i’m a lonely gay
6) how do you want to die?
surrounded by pics of the pillsbury doughboy’s butt
7) what did you last eat?
a spicy ahi bowl and wasabi peas ,, what can i say i’m a spicy gorl
8) played any sports?
uhhhhh i swam competitively and played tennis?? i’ve done volleyball too,,
9) do you bite your nails?
nah
10) when was your last physical fight?
uhhhh Never i’m soft
11) do you like someone?
u know what,,, my emotions are a Fuck i have a tiny crush on like all my friends and mutuals it’s COMPLICATED ok
12) have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
honestly,, idk
13) do you hate anyone at the moment?
mmmmmm no
14) do you miss someone?
mmmmmmmmmmmmm no
15) have any pets?
YES i have a lil puppo named hana :’)))) she’s my baby i lov her sm,, i also have a fish named hunky boy who i’m shocked is still alive,, i honestly thought he’d die like. two months ago
16) how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
idk i go through a new feeling every second
17) ever made out in the bathroom?
i’ve never been kissed and YES i’m insecure about it so jot that down
18) are you scared of spiders?
ye a h?? recently i killed a big ass spider while listening to the lightning thief musical soundtrack and it was an experience
19) would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
N O have u even seen back to the future smfh
20) where was the last place you snogged someone?
how many questions about kissing someone are there i’m gonna punch all of them
21) what are your plans for this weekend?
uhhhhhh packing for my trip and ?? idk ?? dicking around on tunglr?
22) do you want to have kids? how many?
my feelings on having kids range from “://// m a y be” to “no” so,, shrug
23) do you have piercings? how many?
just one on each ear,, i want two on each tho :00
24) what is/are/were your best subjects?
english, band, and japanese are always the classes i do best in,,,, last year i did rly well in biology tho !!
25) do you miss anyone from your past?
n o p e
26) what are you craving rn?
gummy bears and curly fries hsfjdms but i’m trying to b a healthy binch so
27) have you ever broken someone’s heart?
??i don’t think so????? i’m not desirable enough to break someones heart lmao
28) have you ever been cheated on?
no thank god
29) have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
nO thank g o d
30) what’s irritating you right now?
my shoulder kinda hurts?? damn ya girl needs a massage
31) does somebody love you?
romantically??? no lmao. platonically?? i’d like to think my friends n family,,
32) what is your favourite colour?
i’ve always loved blue since i was little and i also like soft pinks,,
33) do you have trust issues?
listen sometimes yeah but at the same time i can’t keep my fuckign mouth shut,, i’m an oversharing binch !!!!
34) who/what was your last dream about?
i forget,,, something about being in an elevator with my friends hgsfndmsf
35) who was the last person you cried in front of?
my therapist lmao ,, i hate crying in front of people i can’t control my goddamn eyes tho,, ya girl is an emotional bih!!!!!!!!!!!
36) do you give out second chances too easily?
uh it’s what i do best??? i just want people to like me tbh to be honest tbh
37) is it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive
38) is this year the best year of your life?
maybe?? definitely better than last year
39) how old were you when you had your first kiss?
consider this question PUNCHED
40) have you ever walked outside completely naked?
n o hgfnsdfsdnsdfnsdnmfs
41) favourite food?
rub s my hand s toge thre…… i lov pho, sashimi, takoyaki, ozoni, and wasabi peas,, i’m also very indecisive (OH AND I LOVE NAAN BREAD)
42) do you believe everything happens for a reason?
probably not tbh lmao. a stray cat just died, what’s the reason for that? it’s not that deep fam sometimes things just happen u kno,, u just gotta take life in stride and keep chuggin
43) what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
washed and moisturized my face binch!!!
44) is cheating ever ok?
no if you’ve ever cheated i hope u know how shitty what you’ve done is
45) are you mean?
i don’t… think so …. i might be?? idk
46) how many ppl have you fist fought?
no one has given me a good enough reason to fist fight them lmao
47) do you believe in true love?
sure why not. doesn’t mean it’s easy tho, no relationship is always easy. but sure
48) favourite weather?
mmmmm cool air with a slight breeze,, preferably cloudy with patches of sun
49) do you like snow?
ye S,, unfortunately i’m in hawaii so like,,
50) do you wanna get married?
UHHH IDK,,, i love the idea of having a girlfriend but having a wife kinda freaks me out,, i’m only 15 tho so like..
51) is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
YES,,, i prefer babe but honestly i’ll take what i can get
52) what makes you happy?
my friends, animals, gay shit, cartoons, skin care, the beach, space,,, idk everything on my interests page
53) would you change your name?
no i think megan suits me,,
54) would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
another question to p u n c h
55) your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
say that i’m sorry but no,, lmao (i’m a lesbeeb)
56) do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can act your complete self around?
yeah i love them
57) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
my friend
58) who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
uhhHHhh probably @llurae ,, (let’s play the game “how many times can i tag alya in this post”)
59) do you believe in soulmates?
mmmmmmmmm rationally? no.,, i feel like a Cynical Binch but like,, there are 7 billion people on this earth there are definitely many many people out there exactly like me. so ig if soulmates are real then u have?? hundreds of soulmates?? thousands of soulmates?? 64 soulmates?? (but also i’m a hopeless romantic so yeah i do believe in soulmates hGJSFSHDN)
60) is there anyone you would die for?
everyone??? all of my friends, all my mutuals on tumblr, my family, zendaya, anthony rosenthal,,, ,
i tag @newwavegrl, @sspacewhaless, @gwyoi, @bombolio, @theadrianblack and anyone else who wants to do this,, u don’t have to do it if i tagged u this is a long ass post hgfnsd
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(thanks for letting me gush!! Sorry about not getting any actual gay ideas, hopefully u’ll get some in the future! also sorry I’m just taking up ur inbox ;;)
Okay so I have this female drow elf sorceress named Thiah who is SUCH a lesbian, tbh I should probably see if her wild magic acts up whenever she sees a cute girl bc goddamn she gay. She’s really sweet and she writes in a journal all the time and sometimes draws she and her GFs smooching in it. She’s either really unobservant or ultra observant and tends to get really frustrated whenever her wild magic occurs. She currently lives at a college that’s like the home-base of the campaign and was kinda adopted by Uloth (another NPC).
Uloth is a half orc Eldritch Knight who’s married to Bree, a halfling monk who’s an absolute idiot. She teaches at the aforementioned college and can absolutely kick ur ass. She has like a ton of scars and is almost always wearing full plate armor, but she really likes to put flowers in her hair bc she dresses femme when she gets the opportunity. She’s the ultimate mom friend and really supports the arts.
Bree, who is Uloth’s wife (like I mentioned), is a trans lady and the most chaotic person on the planet holy crap. Her alignment is chaotic good but it should be chaotic chaotic. She’s probably bit into a banana with the peel still on. She’s ultra curious but has no impulse control which is a bad combination. Uloth’s probably the only reason she hasn’t stuck a stick into a wasp’s nest to see what happens.
Alies is also a trans lady, but she’s also a elderly tiefling archmage who’s a teacher and also a mom. She’s not the person to get mad, not because she can’t control her temper, but because you generally don’t wanna piss off someone who can cast ninth level spells. She’s also the mom friend but not in the traditional way like Uloth, more so in the way that if you mess with any of her loved ones you’re fuckign DEAD, and then she’ll turn around and lecture the friend if they did anything to cause the problem. She loves her child a whole lot tho and would die for them.
(last one I promise) Joy is Alies’ child and they’re an agender tiefling evocation wizard who throws enchantment rocks at people when they won’t leave them alone, Joy is also like ultra goth and literally never wears anything not black, red, white or purple. They try to give off this persona of being someone you never want to fuck with and is also slightly evil, but once you get to know them at ALL that persona fades and u find out that they’re just a HUGE gay nerd who’s mad a lot.
(anyways I’ll shut up now thank you for letting me gush)
~~
HFEJUHF:AHFAUOHFOUAF HFSFHAIOHFOAIHF IAH FSHDFJHA DOHHFIHFAOAFHAOUHFOUAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE ALL OF THEM THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR GOING INTO SUCH DETAIL THEYRE ALL ADORABLE AND I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH AFHASJFHAJFHAUGFAUHFDO:AFUFGFU AGFO
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JJBA part 6 volume 11 reactions
Things are going bad oh no what are they gonna do
- ah yes starting back up right where we left off: hhhhHHHHHHH FOOF NO ; ;
- oh shit Pucci get ready to be tattled on
- AH HA! TODAY’S FORECAST IS LIFE-SAVING RAIN!!
- They know now!! Enemy Identified
- Weather Report is Here to Kick Some Ass and Make it Precipitate
- Pucci’s eyelashes are crazy white to match his hair but only when his eyes are closed ???
- if the green goblin in the victory condition then you’re currently losing
- Baby Need SNACK
- Would it be too optimistic to believe it could be Foof and Weather??
- Nope, it was just the right amount of optimistic!
- Anasui is a jealous bitch
- Weather Report has also risked his life for her!! and she even asked for his help!! let her hug him if she wants
- Anasui that’s racist
- UM
- HELLO??
- THAT’S NOT THE BOY, WHERE’S THE BOY????
- HE DIDN’T TRY TO MURDER JOLYNE EVEN WHEN HE HUGGED HER, WHAT’S GOING ON
- AAAAAHHHHH YOU BETTER STOP!!!!
- IF WEATHER REPORT ISN’T HERE THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE WEATHER????
- EVERYONE’S FUCKING DOUGHNUTTED WHAT THE FUCK THERE’S STILL MORE VOLUMES OF THIS
- he cut off her fucking arm goddamn i didn’t even see that
- He’s just fucking lurking in the bushes
- the good old severed-arm-string-trap, a classic
- The tables have turned! Pucci you have been arrested
- Jolyne probably has the upper hand in close combat, not including stands i just dont think Pucci is all that proficient in punching people
- ahhhh shit proximity loopholes
- okay... time for a flashback i guess, DIO here with some fun facts
- two bros chillin on a bed, five feet apart cuz they’re not gay
- DIO looking to commission a statue of the World
- with some surprise paranoia on the side
- *distantly, as if shouted from the back of a quiet auditorium* GAY
- AS A TOKEN OF APOLOGY, A BONE I JUST FUCKEN TORE OUTTA MYSELF, GO ON TAKE IT, I MADE IT SPECIAL
- damn pucci out here throwing shade at the whole jojo bloodline
- DVD rental has never been more intense
- tactical hand violence by Jolyne!
- Pucci getting rekt and knows it
- Pucci: That bitch gonna be empty!! YEET
Jolyne: Aww Fuck, I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This
- Pucci approaching the gremlin with the bone: Enjoy entertainment baby, Enjoy toy mommy buy for you
- UHH
- I CAN’T MAKE THE SAME FINAL PAM JOKE AGAIN ESPECIALLY NOT TWO IN A ROW BUT DAMN
- Oh My God he’s gonna trade with Foof???
- Holy shit Anasui offering to do something selfless??? too bad he won’t survive this character development...
- FOOF ; ;
- hhhhHHHHHHH having a spirit proves she was alive!!! and she’s happy for that!!! hhhhhhhhhhhh ; ;
- Foof has had a rough day... like i knwo everyone had a rough day but Foof had like Four Near Death Moments back-to-back
- OHH YEAH FUCK poor Weather Report!!! He doesn’t know what the fuck is going on!!!
- uh sir your hand is awfully bubbly today
- oh shit he got the mark! and his crazy eyelashes back!
- Wait they only found Jolyne??? Where’d Anasui go???
- all this talk of Ultimate Trust Friendship, like guys it sounds like you’re dating
- “I’m Jolyne Cujoh and I say Fuck The Rules!!”
- WHAAAAAAATTTTT
- THE FUCK
- WHOM
- “You’ve got guts.” WAS THAT A PUN
- Direct Action!
- oh no it’s a fucky one
- oh my god how long has this happened for??
- she keeps forgetting that she’s forgetting
- i feel a little bad for Guess who has definitely been interrogated by a distressed Jolyne without end for two days straight
- oh no Guess that is too much information
- the range is the whole fuckign prison oh good
- Jolyne no....
- EMPORIO NOOOO
- He’s affected too!! and he keeps hurting himself!! ; ;
- “Don’t think, Just Punch” “Well, if the hand said so...”
- Don’t you think?? the guards would be informed that she lost her memory?? so they don’t try to kill her every time she forgets where she went??
- stealth nat 20 right there
- ah shit
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Rules: answer these questions and tag 20 followers that you would like to get to know better. tagged by @quantumlevitation
name: first name some last name creep
nickname: people on the internet call me creep now its good
zodiac sign: Taurus
hogwarts house: despite being from that age group ive never actually read these books
height: 5'7″ probably, around there
orientation: a simple gay
ethnicity: white
favourite fruit: mangoes were a good choice quantum i had my first one the other day i was a fan. also i like strawberries a lot
favourite season: winter because i have fucking allergies to the goddamn world and i die
favourite book series: when i was younger i really liked amelia atwater rhodes books because they were about vampires lmao. her shapeshifter series was good too. anyway i also enjoy sarah waters’ work but for different reasons.
favourite fictional characters: /makes a vague gesture at my blog. You can probably get some idea. but like, its usually female characters. or venom snake. he’s a good boy
favourite scents: my nose is stuffed all the time i havent smelled anything in 84 years. bread is nice though
Favourite colour: matte black because its the only color i own
favourite animal: all animals are good..
favourite artist/band: well i own 2 voltaire cds, a muse cd, 2 die antwoord cds and a cake cd, so i’m going with them (or is it 2 cake cds?)
coffee, tea or hot cocoa: coffee is good becasue if i dont have caffeine i will die but i like all of them
average sleep hours: sometimes its 4 sometimes its 14 because it be like that
number of blankets you sleep with: usually 1 because i cant keep more on the bed for some reason they always end up on the floor
dream trip: you know what i havent thought about it i really dont know
last thing I googled: bayonetta hard mode tips. i keep getting my ass kicked. its hard ok...
blog created: i thought tumblr used to have this listed somewhere but it doesnt? its pretty old. i think its older than 2014? shit idk
how many blogs do I follow: 73 lol
number of followers: 340 :/
what do I usually post about: its bayonetta right fuckign now but before that it was payday or metal gear solid or resident evil what im saying is its video games
do you get asks regularly: ive never gotten an ask in my life. sometimes i get requests but i gotta beg
what is your aesthetic: bayonetta
tagging: @pathfindersara :/ @ you, @xenixsystemv, @buckyayo50, @ you again because if you’re reading this you can see my posts and thats super fucking rare @null02255 but he’s on tumblr once a week for 6 minutes @devinjacobkelly
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I dont even think i can watch the first season anymore without feeling sad and spiraling anymore, maybe someday, but not soon.
Like gosh, remember when VLD came out???
The animation was amazing and the music was so unique and beautiful. and so much diversity from the cast.
Allura was a beautiful space princess OF COLOR who was a strong physically AND mentally, independent woman who guided them but still went through hard things herself but also fought with the paladins by their side, NONE of that “damsel in distress” bullshit.
Pidge?? god Pidge! she was a girl, and she was intelligent and she was driven: she wanted to rescue her family and thats was her mission. She was awkward and a nerd and felt left out sometimes because of how intelligent she was and noone understanding her but still found family whitin the team. AND made the point made that whatever gender you are doesnt stop you from fighting for what’s right.
Shiro?? was this young but brave man who suffered and was tortured, but still stepped up for these teenagers so they wouldnt be alone, he looked out for them and protected and guided them the best he could, while also doing what was right. BUT still was kind of a goofball sometimes and that was awesome!
Keith was the lonewolf with the heart of gold, who was awkward but deeply cared for the ones who were close to him, he had a real short temper and problems to let people in, but godamn if he wasnt trying. His search for his own self and his family/roots was so promising.
and Hunk was a beautiful cinnamon roll (will be forever) who was all anxious and scared but still found bravery to fight for what’s right. He worried about everyone and always helped out the most he could. He was shown being such a brilliant ingeneer who also loved cooking and if that wasnt amazing i dont know what is.
And yeah, Lance was a goofball, was a flirt. but he was fun, and happy, and so selfless and caring and adventurous. he was so fuckign brave. And gosh i forever loved when he would break the tension in the middle of a battle with a dumb joke, or fighting with keith or something. i love him os much.
And the show had so much potential about them finding family whithin eachother, saving people not only with strong muscle and fighting gigant robots but also with care and love and understanding for the people who suffered. And as overused the power of friendship is but goddamn it if idont drink that shit like water.
But now i feel like i was robbed out of all that could be from these characters. All that forced romance and Sacrifices and horrible handling of their character arcs, lackluster writing, etc.
I wanted to stop watching this season like a thousand times, and if it werent for the first episode, the camera episode and the clear day episode (plus the two small keith and lance talking moments), i wouldnt have enjoyed shit.
i will never forgive them for never giving Lance a closure after feeling “useless” all series, make him heartbroken about Allura (whom never really loved him romantically back) and then dump him in a farm where he does nothing to help with the relief efforts of the universe. i mean, he was good for nothing in voltron so why is he even going to choose a job on earth that lets him help out people a little, am i right???
I will never forgive them for making Keith, the lonewold who’s storyline was supossed to be about letting people in and find himself whitin his mismatched group of friends because they were his familly, abandom them to go to the blade of marmora for 3 fucking seasons, never seeing him again but in like 3 episodes, being with an organization that woul’ve let him die and was cold towards him all the time. (AND THEN half-ass his and his mother’s closure story)
Allura?? Allura needed to get over judging people for their race, about let the anger go and do it for whats right. About gaining amazing powers and using them to do good in the universe and unite her people. But like, forget that, lets make her do the right thing by not judge this guy whos as half-galra and fall in love deeply with him but then oops ALL GALRA ARE THE SAME AM I RIGHT? HES EVIL! lets never forgive him but lets DO forgive his parents who are the ones who killed countless planets including altea. cuz there’s good in everyone i guess. All while she runs to the arms of this one guy who loves her a lot, and she finds solace on that but doesnt really truly love him so she’s like using him but not really cuz she really apreciates him. Also let her die for the cause cuz why not.
Also?? i never was into Lotor. ever. He was always too suspicious and then the downfall of his story was fast so we barely got to see his true self. But baby?? he deserved better. so so much better. He was nothing but an abuse victim, who was also a racism victim because never belonged with the galra and never with the alteans cuz he was half-breed. He wanted to do what was right, he wanted to give the other species a chance and work with them. learn about them. But fuck that am i right?? lets just kill him off i guess cuz thats what you get for playing dirty even if it was the only way you could make a difference in the galra.
I will never forgive them screaming “omg gay characters! gay couple!” only to give one of them 5 seconds screentime before killing them and the other one never ever thinking about them or mourning them.
I will never forgive them for “oh its about war, not romance guys!” and “oh we would never do a disservice to these characters, we would never push on a romance if the characters werent feeling it” and then proceed making Lance go after Allura for like 6 seasons while she completely ignored him and ended up falling in love with Lotor only to kill him off and then push Lance and Allura together because Lotor broke her heart and she was feeling lonely and Lance was there being nice to her telling her he loved her.
and them giving a lot of hints and plot-points they completely dropped and made a rushed clusterfuck of last season.
For so many Hints to something romantic happening between Keith and Lance AND also Keith and Shiro and milking it to keep the show’s rating only to drop it without never confirming or denying anything and going last minute like “oops ur crazy fans, theyre only friends and brothers jeez stop seeing things!”
and if you want to say “oh its not that deep, its a kids show!”, you can go and see how they proceeded with showing a rotting melting corpse of a villain who had nothing but good intensions and was an abuse victim in the show. but go off that tangent if you want i guess.
#voltron season 8#isa's rambling#im just so sad ok#also mad#isa is salty as the sea#im not even mad about klance its just so many things#allura#lotor#lance#keith#hunk#pidge#long post#im sorry#i have too many feelings#this show was so good in s1 and s2
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