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#future man
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Can’t let gang know I fw chair scene
(YES IK THIS IS BADLY EDITED BUT I TRIEDDD)
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moodykylo · 2 days
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I don’t post my art often but uhhh have a future man tarot card spread sketch <3
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jhutchismyl0verb0y · 14 hours
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I can take all of them. (Not in a fight)
@joshfuttermanoffical
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leafletterr · 2 days
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Oh Josh Futturman how I love you so,,,
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jealousjersey · 12 hours
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₊⊹ ꕤ˚large and in charge ⊹₊。ꕤ˚₊⊹
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pairing ★ sub!josh futturman x dom!reader blurb
synopsis ★ yours and josh’s relationship has gotten bland, and when you suggests pegging, it takes a big turn.
warning ★ pegging, cumming, no gender specific reader, mentions of rough patches in relationship, begging, moaning, thrusting, penetration with toy, toy use
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dating josh futturman wasn’t the worst thing in the world…you loved him. and he loved you, but your sex life wasn’t ideal, you were ultimately tired of how vanilla things have gotten. so whose gonna blame you if you suggest something…uncomfortable ;)
“baby, i was thinking we could…try something different. you’ll think it’s weird but i’ve looked it up and it’s not! many people do it! and i was thinking that we could…try it and see if it works for us…” you say nervously to your boyfriend, placing kisses on his shoulders, specifically focusing on his freckles
“well what is it” he replies hesitantly, knowing you could say anything
“uhh, have you heard of…pegging? like me fucking you?” you say, almost stuttering.
“uh…yeah i’ve heard of it…is that something you’d want to do?” he asks, completely open to the idea of it. something about you being in charge this time really does it for him. he’s always thought about it this way…him being a sub for you, it’s mainly the theme in his mind when he masturbates.
“yeah..yeah i do. are you up for it?” you ask. he nods his head eagerly, showing you how much he wants this. you never expected him to be so…open to this. it almost made you want to take him right there…but the equipment is needed first.
“okay, do you wanna look for one with me? we can order a strap on from amazon.” you say, motioning him to lay down with you. you hold him close to you as you open amazon on your laptop.
“does this one look good?” you say pointing at the screen, showing a pink translucent dildo with sparkles implanted into the silicone. it’s no huge dildo by any means, maybe a 6 inch. you wanted him to be comfortable his first time, and not just shoving a 12 inch in him.
be nods his head, his arms sill wrapped around you and head buried in your chest. “yes, that one is good” he whispered, looking almost embarrassed by the action of looking for one.
“i’ll order it baby” you place a kiss on his red cheek, flushed with embarrassment. your kiss, this simple soft gesture melts his nerves away.
friday
the day comes, you get a notification that a package is on the front porch. a decently sized white parcel with a sticker showing your address, the sender shows the person you ordered it from. it’s finally here.
you rush inside and go to your bedroom, opening the package, accidentally waking him up. it doesn’t matter how much sleep he gets, he can always manage to get more.
“it’s here? already?” he says, wiping his eyes away from the sleep and yawning. but as he sees it in your hands, the translucent pink dildo, his face turns a deep shade of red.
“mhm…you ready?” you ask, excitedly. you tried to act nonchalant about it but god it was hard when you’ve wanted to do this for so long.
“yeah…i’m ready.” he says, sitting up in bed, his hair messy and his eyes partly closed with sleep apparent in them.
directly on the beat, you get lube from the front drawer and slide it around the dildo, josh can’t help but get hard at the sight of this. he almost wishes you were doing that to him.
“take your pants off and get in doggy style” you say to him, trying to sound as seductive as possible but he can’t help but laugh.
“god don’t say it like that” he chuckles, but he does. his ass looks so good like this. you spread some lube on your fingers and insert them into his hole, something about the way it clenches around your fingers makes you shiver with excitement.
“that feel good?” you ask, pumping another finger inside him, watching his dick gradually get harder as it touches his stomach, still in the same position.
“mm…cold” he whimpers. “getting hard…put the toy in please” he begs, he looks so cute like this. scared and cold just waiting for your next move.
“gonna put it on slowly okay?” you say, reassuring him. all he can do is mumble as you insert the slick toy into his hole, feeling the way he flutters around it. he lets out a soft moan of pleasure.
“more….” he whimpers, and you obey. you push in more, almost filling him up completely, the sensation of being in control makes you so excited for this.
you push in deeper, hearing him grunt, moan, whimper. it all makes you wetter.
“m’gonna cum…please say i can cum please” he whimpers, dick hard against his stomach with precum leaking down his chest.
“just a little more, you’re doing so good josh” you encourage him. “such a good boy, taking my strap so well.” you coo.
your hips rut into his ass, the strap on hitting his walls as they clench around it.
“so tight…so good for me” you say, knees wobbling from the position you stand in.
“good boy, you can cum now josh” you say, pushing further into his hole, and with a loud moan. he cums, and god….youve never seen so much in your life.
his cum squirts out of him, leaking all over the bed, then pooling on the floor as it spills. god, he makes such a mess.
“such a good boy” you say as you pull out, a wet pop filling the room as his hole returns to its normal size.
“sorry…i made a mess…” he says, turning completely into a bottom.
you press a kiss against his lips and get a towel, wiping his chest as he lays on his back, his dick softening.
“don’t worry baby…did you have fun?” you ask. he nods eagerly.
your sex life just got a hell of a lot interesting.
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joshfutturman · 2 days
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it be like that
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j26futturman · 2 days
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Mister I love you!!!,,,Imagine if we got married in the black,,,(pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea-)
YOU LOVE ME??????? like how i love the black???? or?? no? why? are you okay?? people sometimes say i love you because things are NOT okay and things are about to be NOT okay!!!!!!!
married...... in the black??? like..... the parties with white dresses and suits and dancing and sometimes REAL BIG WHITE cakes? do those parties have pinatas at them? no wait. thats birthdays? is it? oh. i dont know. i dont remember but DONT you have to SIGN A CONTRACt???????? does signing my name with a gift from the black count?
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lile6969 · 2 days
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HELLPPP
THESE ACCOUNTS PRETENDING TO BE JHUTCH CHARACTERS ARE KILLLIINNNNGGG ME 😭😭😭
(someone pls tag me if there’s more)
(ESPECIALLY CLAPTONNN)
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Pictures I took of the kitties these past few days :33
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storiesforallfandoms · 5 months
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winner ~ josh futturman;future man
word count: 2263
request?: no
description: in which she walks in on her best friend..."celebrating" his big win, and decides to help him
pairing: josh futterman x female!reader
warnings: swearing, smut (masturbation, oral - m receiving, unprotected p in v, josh is a bottom bitch but we been knew)
masterlist (one, two, three)
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My hand was raised to knock on the door when it suddenly swung open. Mrs. Futturman smiled at me. "Oh, hello (Y/N)! Come on in!"
"Thank you, Mrs. Futturman," I said as I stepped past her. "Is Josh home?"
"Yes, he's upstairs in his room playing that fantasy game he loves so much."
Of course he was. I could've predicted that. If Josh wasn't at work, he was locked in his bedroom trying to beat an unbeatable video game. If I was ever able to actually coax him out of his room to come over to my place, all he'd do was talk about the game. It was like an addiction for him. I guess it could've been worse; Josh could actually be socializing and getting a girlfriend.
Yeah, I know. Best girl friend with a crush on my best guy friend cliche. Unrequited crush on a friend and all that.
"Hey (Y/N)!" Mr. Futturman said as he came down the hallway. "Looking for Joshy?"
"That I am, Mr. Futturman. I know he's in his room."
"Diane and I are going out for a few hours. Help yourselves to whatever you want!"
Josh's dad patted me on the shoulder and his mom smiled at me before they both walked out. I watched as they got into their car, then turned to do exactly as Mr. Futturman said: help myself to whatever I wanted. I grabbed a can of soda from the fridge and one of Mrs. Futturman's famous cupcakes. I would've grabbed one for Josh, too, but if he was deep enough into his game I knew he wouldn't be eating for a while.
I climbed the stairs to Josh's room. If we hadn't been such good friends, I would've knocked on his door instead of just walking in. If I had paid more attention to the sounds coming from his room instead of his mom's delicious cupcake, I would've realized they were not the sounds of his video game.
Honestly, if I hadn't come over at all, I wouldn't have seen what I did.
Because instead of finding my best friend deep in his game, I found him with his head thrown back against his gaming chair and his hand wrapped around his cock, furiously pumping. The sounds coming from his mouth were sinful and things I definitely should not be hearing. I was frozen, watching the entire situation that I knew I should not have been watching. I was so shocked that my drink and cupcake slipped from my hand. The soda can clattered to the floor, soda spilling all over the floor at my feet. It was that sound that finally made Josh open his eyes and turn to look at me. I could only imagine my panicked expression matched the one on his face.
"Shit," he breathed, trying to pull up his boxers.
I finally remembered myself and turned away as he tried to cover himself. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know..."
"You could've knocked!"
"When do I ever knock, dickhead?" I could hear him still struggling. I fought every urge that was telling me to turn around and look at him again. "Your parents told me you were playing Biotic Wars."
"I was. I - uh - I beat the game. I was...celebrating."
Under different circumstances, I'd probably get very excited over Josh beating his game. That would make him the first person to ever beat Biotic Wars in the entire world. It was certainly an achievement worth celebrating.
But a different idea crossed my mind.
I turned back to Josh, who still had his pants around his ankles and his boxers haphazardly pulled up. I could still see the outline of his hard cock fighting against the material of his boxers.
"Maybe I can help you celebrate."
He looked at me in confusion. I swallowed my nerve and started across the room. Josh's eyes followed my every move as I came to stand in front of him. His eyes widened as I sank to my knees in front of him. I watched his face as I reached for the waistband of his boxers, waiting to see if he was going to protest.
"Please," he whimpered.
I couldn't help but smirk as I pulled his boxers down to meet his pants. His cock sprang free, red and painfully hard. I couldn't help but marvel at the size. I had definitely fantasized about him when I was alone, but I was definitely doing him an injustice with those fantasies.
I pushed Josh so he was sitting down in his gamer chair again. I wrapped my hand around the base of his dick and pumped slowly. Josh's mouth fell open as I took the tip in my mouth, still pumping my hand at the base. I swirled my tongue around the head every so slowly, looking up at him through my eyelashes. I held his eye as I took more of him into my mouth, going down just enough for my mouth to meet where my fist was wrapped around him. His head fell back against his chair again as I began to bob my head on his dick.
I held on to his thigh with my other hand, trying to keep myself steady as I picked up the pace slightly. Josh was a moaning mess, putty in my hands (almost literally). I glanced up at him again, watching his Adam's apple bob with every lewd sound that came from his mouth.
"Can you take it any deeper?" he asked. "Please?"
There was something about the begging tone of his voice that turned me on even more. I removed my hand from the base of his dick, placing it on his other thigh and taking him further into my mouth. His eyes screwed shut as he moan out into the room again. I could feel his dick twitching in my mouth with every inch that I took in. Eventually I almost had him completely taken in, the tip all but touching the back of my throat. I had never felt so grateful to not have a gag reflex.
His hand found it's way to my hair, just resting there at first as I started to pull my head back. But then I was being shoved back down at such a quick speed that my eyes suddenly watered and I quickly had to pull off to start coughing.
"Shit, I'm so sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just...it felt so good. I needed to be in your mouth again."
"It's okay," I said. "But maybe don't shove your dick down my throat suddenly, okay?"
He nodded quickly. "Okay, okay. Please put my dick in your mouth again."
I smirked up at him. "Well, since you're being so good and using your manners."
He moaned out as I took him into my mouth again. I didn't tease this time. I immediately picked up my pace. Saliva started dripping from my mouth and ran down his cock. I was somewhat impressed by the fact that his chair hadn't toppled over or broke or anything with the sheer force of what was going on.
Josh's hand fisted my hair as whimpers and moans escaped from his lips. I could feel his dick twitching, signaling that he was getting close to his release.
"Stop," he said, his hand pulling at my hair. "Wait, stop."
I pulled off and looked up at him. "Are you okay?"
"I am so much more than okay. I'm actually really close, but I want to be inside of you before I cum. If...if that's okay, I mean."
I was off my knees before he could even finish his sentence. I got onto his lap and pressed my lips to his. It caught him by surprise, but he was responding to my kiss quickly. His hands held my waist as I awkwardly straddled him in his chair, the plastic of the arm rests digging into my legs.
"We have to move to the bed," I said between kisses. "I can't fuck on this thing."
"I figured it was a long shot, but the thought was so hot to me," he said.
I got off his lap and he stood. He kicked his pants and boxers off into a pile on the floor before reaching for my shirt. He paused a moment, like he was waiting for my permission. I playfully rolled my eyes and pulled the shirt off myself and removing his as well. I started kissing him again, deciding to give him the pleasure of taking off my pants and panties himself. Once I had them kicked to the floor, joining the other discarded clothing, we both started backing up towards his bed. I lightly pushed him so he was laying down on the bed before climbing on top of him.
"Fuck," he breathed. "This is a nice view."
I giggled. "You're a real charmer, Josh."
I spit in my hand and lathered it over his already saliva soaked cock. I hovered over him, lining him up with my entrance, before slowly sinking down onto him. We moaned in unison as I went down until he was buried completely inside of me. His hands were gripping at my hips, no doubt leaving crescent indents in my skin.
"Please move," he begged. "Fuck, I need to feel you, please."
"I never took you to be such a sub," I teased. "But I like to hear you beg. Can you ask me nicely one more time to ride your cock?"
"God, please ride me. I need to cum so bad. I wanna feel you before I cum."
I put my hands against his bare chest to steady myself and slowly began to grind on his cock. He was buried so deep inside of me, hitting the one spot my past hook ups could only dream of hitting. With every slow grind, he was nudging that spot more and more, and his pubic bone was rubbing against my clit. I hadn't realized how turned on sucking his dick alone had made me, but I felt like I wasn't about to last long either.
I leaned over to kiss Josh's lips. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I granted him. My grinds had turned into bounces on his cock, the pressure inside me building more and more by the second. I could tell by the way his dick was twitching that he was getting close too.
"Shit, I'm gonna cum," he breathed. "Fuck, I-I don't have a condom on."
"I'm on the pill," I assured him. "I want to feel you cum inside of me."
"Fuck!" he cried out, his head lulling back onto the pillow beneath him as he finally reached his climax. The feeling of his warmth filling me up was enough to push me over the edge as well, crying out into the otherwise silent house.
I sat on top of him as both of us tried to regain our breaths. Josh sat up, wrapping an arm around my lower back to cradled me as he flipped us over. I gasped as he slowly pulled out of me, feeling his seed running out of me.
"I had to clean my sheets anyways," he said, eyeing the mess between my legs. "Hold on, let me clean us up."
He hurried out of the room and returned with two cloths. He passed one to me and we both cleaned ourselves up. He tossed the cloths onto the floor with the rest of our discarded clothes before getting back onto his bed with me. I was a little shocked when he pulled me into his arms, but I wasn't about to protest to post-sex cuddles.
"So," he said, running his fingers up and down my arm, idly, "how long have you been wanting to do that?"
"Uh...since I went through puberty and realized what sex was?" I offered.
He whistled. "That long, huh? And you never told me?"
"How was I supposed to tell you? Hey Josh, I know we've been best friends since primary school and you probably don't view me like this, but I have a massive fucking crush on you. Anyways, enjoy your video game that you never stop playing."
"Who says I don't view you the same way?"
"Well, obviously you view me as someone you want to have sex with considering the fact that we just had sex."
"I view you as more than someone I want to have sex with - "
"Friends with benefits is still just seeing me as someone you wanna have sex with."
"Will you listen to me?" he said as he covered my mouth with his hand. "I mean I like you, too, (Y/N). I always have. But I thought you only saw me as a friend, so obviously I wasn't about to say anything."
I groaned and pushed his hand off of my mouth. "God, we are such a cliche, aren't we?"
He chuckled and placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head up so that he could kiss me on the lips again.
"At least this finally happened now that you finished that game," I said. "I never would've gotten your attention beforehand."
"That's not true!"
"Josh, you didn't pay attention to me before. Being your girlfriend wouldn't have made much of a difference."
"It totally would've!"
"Shut up before I decide to take back everything I said."
I kissed him before he could come up with a comeback.
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schmidtsbimbo · 4 months
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no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind boggling, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride
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shut-up-hope · 5 months
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janitorhutcherson · 5 months
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Bf!Futturman Headcanons (Future Man)
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there is NOT enough future man content! allow @dollfacedalls and i to fix that :p these r some headcanons we came up with real quick. if there are typos, sorry guys lolz. its 3am and i just typed this up bc i felt like we needed some josh futturman content. enjoy the sweaty loser boyfriend vibes!
Bf!Futturman who tries to be flirty and sexy but is unsuccessful. You've been out all day, and you've just gotten home. The moment you walk through the door, Josh is in front of you in a pair of dinosaur boxers with a huge, cheesy smile. You know why, and you know what he's wanting. You can't help but grin like an idiot as you put your bags down, walking towards him to place your hands on his hips. Before you can do so, Josh attempts to lean against the coffee table in a sexy fashion. Of course, as expected, he loses his balance, his feet falling out from under you. He lets out a yelp as his elbow hits the coffee table, your eyes wide as you run to assist him. "Baby," you gasp as you kneel. "Are you okay?" you mumble as he repositions himself, now leaning on his hurt elbow on his side, the toothy grin back on his face. "Yeah.. fine now that you're here, sexy," he says, wiggling his eyebrows as you roll your eyes, hitting his shoulder.
Bf!Futturman who is so clingy that he misses you so much, making him even want to be you. You two live together, Josh finally having moved out of his childhood home to get an apartment with you. You were at work, and Josh was upset. He felt like his other half was missing. It wasn't fair that he was off and you weren't. So.. naturally, he did what any man who was missing his partner would do -- he tried on your clothes, sprayed himself in your perfume, listened to your favorite songs, and watched your favorite TV show. When you walked into your apartment to him sitting on the couch in your dress, the apparent scent of your cherry-scented perfume in the air, Dance Moms on the TV, you gasped. The moment his eyes locked with yours, Josh froze, his eyes wide, not really sure what to say. Your eyes darted to the empty bottle on the table; your lonely boyfriend had drained your expensive perfume. Josh's eyes followed yours to the bottle as he shot up, walking over to you with raised eyebrows. "I swear, baby, I- I'll buy you a new bottle," he awkwardly muttered, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. 
Bf!Futturman who wants an ugly cat with you. No, not just a cat, but an ugly one. He wanted to find the most hideous, rattiest, mangy-looking cat the two of you could find. At first, you were somewhat frustrated with how adamant he was about the situation. You would've been much happier with a fluffy kitten with pretty blue eyes and soft fur. But no, you loved your boyfriend so much you'd given in. Josh convinced you he wanted one because 'nobody wants the ugly ones.' He claimed it was an action from the goodness of his heart, an action to save a poor kitty. He never would've said it out loud, but the reality was he didn't think the name Barthalomeow fit a pretty kitten. You ended up with a fluffy cat with huge brown eyes bulging from its skull. Its bottom teeth hung out of its mouth, and its brown fur stuck up in every which way... Yeah... it was hideous for sure, but Bathalomeow loved you and his kitty dad so that you couldn't be too mad.
Bf!Futturman gets so sucked into his game that he doesn't notice anything around him. When you weren't around, and he wasn't working, Josh did NOTHING but play Biotic Wars. He'd be so sucked into the game for hours, going to disgusting extremes to avoid having to press pause. When you were home, though, he'd only dedicate an hour or two a day to the game. This usually didn't bother you, but one particular day, you were feeling incredibly desperate for his attention, his eyes locked onto his TV screen as his fingers moved stealthily across his keyboard. You felt like you'd attempted everything. At first, you just tried his name. No luck. Then, you tried tapping his shoulder. Barely flinched. Your next action was more severe, seeing if your words would stir anything in him. "Baby," you called out, your annoyance apparent. "Hm?" he hummed with a half-assed response. "I'm going to my other man's house in a few. Is that cool?" you said from behind him, sprawled out on the bed with your eyebrows raised, your eyes throwing daggers toward the back of his head. "Yeah, whatever, babe, I'll see you later," he mumbled quickly as a loud groan left your lips. "Jesus christ," you mumbled. "Gonna jump off of a bridge, Joshy," you sang out jokingly, to which Josh responded, "Okay, baby." It felt hopeless, that was, until you had an idea. You threw your shirt off, your bare chest exposed as you pranced over to him, standing in front of him. Josh glanced over at you for a moment, his eyes widening slightly as he reached his hand up to grasp your boob before looking back to his screen. "Mm, give me another hour," he hummed, his attention once again back on Future Man. Nope, didn't work. You'd revisit in an hour when you were his girlfriend again, and it wasn't his controller getting all of the hand action.
Bf!Futturman that attempts to cook for you. Josh could not cook. This was a given considering in order to cook, you had to have good coordination and be able to somewhat follow directions. Unless in video game form, it was difficult for Josh to do both. You didn't mind, enjoying making dinner and snacks for the two of you. It wasn't until one night Josh wanted to surprise you. He'd watched a YouTube video online on how to make a baked chicken with broccoli, mashed potatoes, along with a few other things. He didn't think twice about the difficulty, already feeling like a chef as he turned off his phone. He was soon proven very wrong, as about an hour later, you walked into the door to the smell of burning meat and smoke filling your kitchen. Josh stood in the center of it all, surrounded by far too many pans for him to be making such a simple dish, many of them filled with what looked like pure charcoal. He looked at you with sad eyes, a pout on his lips. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to make a mess. I really just wanted to do something nice for you like you do for me," he said softly as he walked over to you. You embraced him into your arms, pressing a kiss to his head. "Hey, 's okay baby, we can just order takeout," you giggled, deciding to turn the oven off and leave the mess for another time. 
Bf!Futturman who has no filter and lacks an understanding of time and place. The two of you were inside an art museum. You pulled out your phone to snap a cute selfie. The moment he saw the camera, he pulled you close, stiffening his entire body as he stared into the camera with a blank expression. You snapped the picture, reviewing it afterward as your smile dropped. "Seriously, Josh?" you asked as you raised your eyebrows, showing him the photo where he looked both uninterested and terrified all at once. He snickered with amusement, his nose scrunching up. "God, people are going to think I kidnapped you," you muttered under your breath. He nudged you with his shoulder, raising his eyebrows up and down. "That's because you did!" he exclaimed as he pretended to yank out of your grip. People began to stare, and Josh just snickered as you smacked his shoulder. "Shut up, Futturman!" you gritted through your teeth, rolling your eyes. God, you loved him, but oh, how he pissed you off sometimes.
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freak-accident419 · 4 months
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Good Tidings
Josh Futturman x GN!Reader
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Summary: You and Josh barely have any time to yourselves due time traveling nonstop, trying to save the fate of humanity. However, being at the Futturman’s Christmas dinner party granted you two a fair amount of time.
Word Count: 2.9k
Content: 18+ Smut, MDNI, gender neutral reader (no genitals specified, it’s just vague penetration), cockwarming, lots of fluff, takes place during Future Man S1E6 “A Blowjob Before Dying”, too much shitty sex jokes n puns (im sorry) (not), giddy+silly+sweet love making, you think you are sooo fucking funny, more goofy than serious/lustful, you two are very much in love, more plot (high ass dialogue) than porn tbh
(A/n: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!! Hope you enjoy this muahahaha and thank you all for your recent support! First smut written on this account, so be gentle with me please !)
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You, Tiger, Wolf, and Josh were at the Futturman household, schedule disrupted due to the reluctance of Josh’s parents. They insisted that you all join them for their small Christmas dinner party. You were all sat down at the dining table, as well as the neighbors, Josh’s Uncle Barry, and Diane’s friend, Wanda (who was especially invited to perhaps keep Barry at bay).
While Tiger was mostly impatient and displeased with every mindless convo and laughter, talk revolved around several topics like DNA kits or Wolf’s strangely fascinating culinary.
You sat beside your boyfriend, Josh, slightly nervous about the time you were wasting. Ever since you’ve been dragged into the whole ‘Biotic Wars is real’ and ‘kill or be killed’ shit, you and Josh have been dealing with the worst, unimaginable shit ever. With the two of your adrenaline wearing off, you gradually processed everything that’s happened the past few days since you were never given a break. Hence the hand holding under the table as you two would seek comfort from one another.
But you attempted to distract yourself from the deaths you’ve witnessed and the near-death experiences you’ve had to your best ability by indulging in every conversation.
“Gabe, honey, tell them about—about the recent fishing trip we went on,” Josh’s mother, Diane encouraged to her husband with her sweet, achingly kind voice. You had so much respect for Josh’s parents, so it was pretty easy for you all to hit it off well. They loved you. In fact, they were heavily relieved that Josh had finally found someone, let alone someone as amazing as you.
Gabe let out a hearty chuckle as he prepared himself to tell the table his story.
“So, a couple of days ago, Diane and I went on a small fishing trip. And I remembered an old trick back in the day that attracted a lot of trout,” he explained as you picked up your glass of wine, sipping some generously. Diane smiled at him with a nod as he continued. “One of the very efficient ways to go about fish bait is blowing worms.”
You choke on your wine, holding in a laugh, coughing a bit instead as Josh looks at you with a knowing smile. “I’m sorry, what?” You asked, trying not to grin too widely. Did you hear that right?
“Blowing worms,” Gabe repeated, getting a confined chuckle out of you and Josh. “You inflate the worms with air, which makes them float instead of having your bait be at the very bottom. It’s perfect, especially near the winter time. Worked like a charm.”
“Ohh,” you gasp in wonder. You chuckle to yourself before you spontaneously say, “Yeah, actually, I think I did do that a few times. Blew a-a worm.”
You looked at Josh, thinking you were being hilarious, but he looked at you with surprised eyes and parted lips of shock that slowly transitioned into a smile.
“Really?” Josh’s father expressed with intrigue. “I didn’t even know you fish. You have someone teach you that method, or—”
“Oh, no, Mr. Futturman, I,” you speak as you occasionally switch from looking at him to Josh. “I think it’s a very popular method. It’s a pretty natural instinct, you know? Blowing worms, that is.”
“Wow, really? Always thought it was an old-fashioned sort of thing.”
“Nah, far from old-fashioned, it’s almost contemptuous!”
You did pretty well at suppressing your laughter, because you sounded really earnest. Josh covered his mouth, amused by your subtle humor.
“Joshy, we didn’t know that Y/n likes fishing. We could’ve taken them on our trip. In fact, we could’ve all went,” Diane suggests as she looked at Josh and then you.
It was like everyone at the table was blind to your immature, yet humorous implication. Except, of course, your boyfriend.
“Oh, no worries, Mrs. Futturman,” you insisted kindly. “I don’t usually fish. Plus, blowing worms can be very exhausting.”
“Y/n—” Josh reacted, but interrupted himself with a suppressed laugh.
“You think so?” Mr. Futturman raised an eyebrow. “I just stick a syringe in them, inflate it, and bam, it’s all thick and ready to g—”
You and Josh burst out laughing, holding onto the table and each other. You swore there were slight tears coming out of your eyes as both of your faces were red. You felt overjoyed to feel happiness and delight for the first time ever since your involvement in the mission. And you felt even more glad that it was your boyfriend that you fooled around with.
“Sorry, sorry,” Josh says after his laughter died down as the entire table was confused. “I just—We just thought about a, um, moment when—Um… Actually, Y/n and I did go fishing once. Isn’t that—isn’t that right?”
You nod and go along with it, detaining your giggles.
“Well, anyways, we actually did that method, and yeah, you’re right, it works like a charm!” He exclaimed with joy as his parents smile at him with approval and pride.
“Bet the worm was pretty small, huh?” Tiger jumped in wittily, however, in a coldly nonchalant manner.
“And pathetic!” Wolf blurted.
“Hey, even if that might’ve been true—might’ve—it-it probably had a personality, you know?” He reckoned with a shrug, making you laugh again.
***
“You are—are fucking terrible, you know that?” Josh quickly muttered under his breath as you two continued to kiss each other deeply on his bed. “Those were my parents.”
“C’mon, baby, admit it, it was comedy gold,” you giggle, pressing your lips to his once more by tugging his black, skinny necktie towards you as you remained sitting on his lap.
The dinner party was still going on downstairs. After a long time of looking at each other longingly at the table, you two decided to excuse yourselves in order to “prepare gifts for Josh’s coworkers that he forgotten to wrap” in his room.
When you guys rushed in his room, you couldn’t take your hands off each other, immediately making out once the door was locked. However, you then had to close all his blinds before you met him back on the bed. This wasn’t new to you, none of it was. The soft, warm orange that his room’s light emitted strangely comforted you, as well as being back on his soft, spacey mattress.
Was it a good idea to leave Tiger and Wolf alone with Josh’s family and company? Probably not. But you’ve taught them enough shit. They tolerate Josh’s parents, so why not a few other guests as well? And you’ll only be gone for no longer than five minutes, you’d hoped.
You bring your hands to his pants, attempting to unbuckle his belt. “Shit—What the—What the fuck is this?” You grumble, Josh laughing at you as you struggle.
“I think it’s—” He giggled, bringing his own hands to his belt, trying to remove it, pulling. “I think it’s stuck.”
“What the shit?” You wheeze. “Fuckin’—Fuckin’ cock block!” You continue to mess with the belt, trying your best to unbuckle it.
“Wait, you—you’re almost there, you—”
“Oh my god! Holy shit! I got it!” You let out a surprised gasp, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants right after.
“Oh shit! Flawless victory!” He exclaimed, making you stop in your tracks, looking back up at him.
“You did not just quote Mortal Kombat because I successfully unbuckled your belt,” you raise an eyebrow, nevertheless amused by his dorkiness.
“Maybe,” he answered smugly.
“You’re lucky I am in love with you, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have let that slide,” you chuckle.
“Oh, come on. You’d love my video game references either way,” he insisted.
“I’m serious, Josh, the amount of things I’ve let slide because I love you is kind of crazy. Let me just say, I am so glad I met you after the ‘apple juice’ incident that Ray told me about.”
“Ray told you about that?”
“He told me a lot of things. Mostly the embarrassing things. I think he wanted to freak me out, you know? Always thought I was too good for you.”
You pulled his pants off, throwing it carelessly down on the floor. Your lips attached once more as he snickered as you then cupped his face with your warm hands. You look at your lover, his big, brown, desperate eyes looking at you with utmost adoration. “Well, jokes on him, he was entirely wrong. You are so good to me, you know that?”
He smiles at you softly, and you could sense how flustered he felt to hear that (the blushing patently gave it away). “You’re the one who’s been on my side since forever. Even when you got involved in all this shit that you didn’t even have to be in. You-You could’ve called me crazy, and-and broken up with me, but you believed me and stayed by my side, even knowing that things were gonna get dirty. And they did, get really dirty.” Rest in peace Janis and Carl? Or, rather, die, you evil perf-cocks? Eh, doesn’t fucking matter. “You’re so good for me, sometimes I can’t believe you’re even real.”
You giggle sweetly as you give him another kiss, a quiet smack caused by your lips deftly leaving his own to speak. “Well, I’m here and I’m real, and I’ll always be there for you, baby,” you reassure. You were perfect for him. Indefinitely.
He smiled blissfully. “I love you so much.”
You two made out passionately until you were laying under him, the lower halves of your bodies bare as you discarded the necessary clothes.
“Do you think your parents and everyone else knew about the worm thing or are they just that… I don’t know… clueless?” You asked endearingly under your breath as your fingers entangle in his soft, brown hair.
“Hmm. Possibly,” he reckons, raising his eyebrows as he thought about it. “That was still kind of evil of you, though.”
“Me, personally, I thought it was hilarious.”
“Blowing worms?”
“C’mon, your father set himself up for that.”
“Tiger called it small,” he muttered lamentably. “And Wolf said it was pathetic.”
“Jeez, whatever happened to personality?” You chuckle softly.
He sighed. “They still sort of called me out.”
“Shut up. It’s average, to say the least. Doesn’t matter either way, you’re enough.”
“But—”
“Josh, if it bothers you this much, then just prove them wrong right now,” you reply with a laugh.
“As in—?”
“Josh, c’mon, we don’t have time anyways. They’re expecting us any minute because of that shitty made-up story excuse. I love foreplay, dude, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t acknowledge the time at all. Quickies are definitely not our cup of tea. Y—” Your breath hitched as you felt his tip prod at your sensitive entrance. He gave you a soft, comforting kiss on the nose. You looked into each other’s eyes deeply, then your lips crashed into each other’s as the two of you stifled your moans once Josh finally thrusted in.
“Y-You know you’re p-perfect just the—mm—way you are, right?” You ask gently, wrapping your arms around his neck.
He smiled at this, kissing your lips once more, beginning to move. Your heart fluttered each second you felt him thrust in and out, slightly and satisfyingly stretching you. His hips moved quite skillfully, but also slightly clumsily, which was nonetheless admirable.
Your usual soft moans and gasps would be replaced by stifled grunts and sighs, due to the company downstairs. As much as you wanted the whole world to know that Josh Futturman was yours and only yours, you also had dignity—plus, it was his goddamn parents downstairs.
You giggled as you felt his nose against yours each rough kiss. “Y-You know, however, I think the only complaint I have about you is the fact that you hate Super Mario Bros.” You point out with a chuckle.
“Y/n, in my—agh—defense, it literally makes no sense. Like, why would there be pipes that are—”
“Okay, why rely solely on logic and rationality, hm, Futturman? I thought video games were all about escape. It’s all just harmless fun.”
“Yeah, well, I’m much more into games with thought-out plots and challenges,” he remarked, making you roll your eyes playfully. “Anyways, it pretty much just got ruined for me even more when Tracy at the video game store talked about Luigi having a very hairy, Italian cock.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“Baby, I love you. However, your goddamn dick is currently inside of me. Please do not talk about Luigi’s theoretic hairy penis.”
“Noted,” he assents, going back to kissing you passionately, while moving slowly inside of you, yet deeper with each thrust. You let out a quiet, pleasured gasp as you felt him fill you perfectly, his hands lovingly gripping your waist to keep you still.
Your eyes closed as you indulged in the feeling of his gentle thrusts, him peppering kisses on your neck, softly chuckling under his breath. He guessed he was still in disbelief that he had someone as amazing as you.
“I… I still can’t believe someone as perfect as you would ever go out with a loser like me,” he scoffed, pressing more kisses against your neck and jaw.
“Hey, seriously?” You frown, holding his face in your hands once more, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are… a lot of things, Josh. But a loser isn’t one of them. Okay? You are so kind and funny and caring and thoughtful a-and—m-mm—amazing i-in general.”
“I—Fuck. I—I don’t deserve you,” he panted.
“J-Jesus Christ, sh-shut your fuckin’ rathole. Yes you do, baby. You deserve me as much as I deserve you.”
It was becoming harder to focus on your words as you continued to feel an increased sensation and pleasure as his thrusts quicken and falter. You let out a small gasp as you tense things up by wrapping your legs around his waist to bring him in even deeper. You two had been speaking and giggling to each other constantly that you didn’t even notice the lewd, wet, slapping against the skin that came from each heavy thrust. Josh grabbed one of your hands, interlocking your fingers tightly on the mattress beside your head.
“J-Josh, I—” You begin breathlessly.
“I know, me too,” he grunts as soft, inaudible whimpers and whines leave his lips while the movement of his hips stuttered. His rhythm was becoming unsteady, but it was also increasing in speed. “I—Y/n, f-fuck, I’m c—”
“Sh-shit, baby, I—” You pant as you felt closer and closer over the edge, every mere feeling increasing your stimulation. You bring your hand to cover your mouth and suppress any loud moans as you finally released, the knot in your stomach undoing itself as you sigh afterwards once your hand left your mouth. Josh came exactly right after you as his hips jolted for the final time, spilling his warm, white seed inside of you, burying his face in your neck to muffle a high-pitched grunt and acute whines.
You two were breathing heavily, kissing each other’s lips softly and lovingly after you both came down from your high. You two never moved from your position, still fragile and sore. Josh caressed the side of your waist under your shirt, his head resting in your neck as you moved your hand to play with his hair, holding him in your arms.
“This is probably the only time we’ll have together alone before we have to continue with the damn mission,” you figured, tangling his strands of hair in between your fingers.
“It’s bullshit,” he mumbles, his thumb continuing to rub your waist.
“Enjoy the moment while we can?” You suggested with a small chuckle.
“Yeah, I guess,” he sighed dejectedly.
A beat.
“Hm,” you hum thoughtfully.
“Yeah?”
“Nothing, I just… I like it whenever you’re inside of me,” you comment softly. This was probably the most affectionately vulnerable and honest you have been with him. Your tone lacked any intention for humor or lust; you were genuine.
He lifted his head up from your neck. “Seriously?”
“I don’t know. It just feels right. You know, as if you were, like, made for me exactly,” you whispered lovesickly, looking down at his sweet, plump lips to his profound, gorgeous brown eyes. “I wanna stay like this a little longer. You’re so perfect for me. I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” he replied with a smile, kissing your lips soothingly.
Then suddenly,
“Futturman! L/n! Get out of there, we gotta go now! Operation Cameronium!” Tiger called from the other side of the door. “Goddamnit. The fucking—tiny man—baby thing—is, just, really starting to piss me off. Let’s go!”
You and Josh looked at each other for a while in silence before bursting out into laughter.
“We-we better go before she considers murdering little baby Wallace,” you suggest with a soft smile.
“Yeah… Wait. Do you really think—”
“No…” You answer before he could finish his sentence. “I know she seems all stoic on the outside, but I feel like the past few days, she changed a bit. Empathy-wise. Slightly, at the very least.” Josh nods.
“I’m really gonna miss this,” he sighs.
“Me too. But don’t worry, once we fix everything, we have all the time in the world together,” you assert.
“Okay,” he smiles sweetly, kissing your lips before slowly pulling out of you, leaving you to feel empty and slightly bummed.
The two of you, with your clothes back on and hair quickly fixed, you waltzed downstairs with no problem. Your hands had been interlocked, faces a bit flushed as you smile to yourselves.
“You two sure look happy,” Diane expresses joyfully. “You really got into the Christmas spirit, wrapping all those gifts upstairs, huh?”
You giggled under your breath. “Oh, yeah, definitely, Mrs. Futturman. Uh, very much so. I really love Christmas, you know? The gift wrapping Joshy and I did upstairs and, you know, all the Christmas traditions. ‘Specially, ‘specially the yule log.” You look at Josh with a knowing grin as he just listened in, suspecting nothing at all. “Really makes you feel warm inside, am I right?”
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joshfutturman · 4 hours
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(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) clapton bot is on crack??? we're going to the same college together
(breaking bots is my one talent in life)
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jhutchism · 5 months
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on my knees BEGGING for it
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