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emsgoodthinkin · 8 months

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~ never did this before | virgin!Eddie Munson x virgin! Thick!Fem Reader \\ modern au

This story is based off the song Wet Dreamz by Jcole **recommend listening to it first to understand the story// can be perceived/read regardless if you are a poc; as I am mixed ♡ [descriptions of reader having tan skin and brown eyes; so it meets in the middle if you are a poc or not]

• Summary: after weeks of flirting and crushing on each other, you finally pop a serious question into your bestfriend Eddie’s head, and he has a hard time providing you with an honest answer // this is more like a rom com

• Warnings: MDNI; smut (not too explicitly) fluff, both kinda experienced? soft Eddie, cocky Eddie, sassy reader, brief mentions of smoking and drinking, he’s a little bit of a perv, masturbation, 69, protected piv, premature ejaculation, heavy petting, grinding, confessions, slight insecure thoughts? (both are 18+) word count :3.4k //sry 4 errors

Eddie’s Pov

Calculus. The last class of the day. My favorite class overall.

There she sat, giggling on her phone, showing me silly photos she took of her dog Skittle, the sun shining just right on her honey toned tanned skin, hair laying just as perfect as ever in that simple, claw clip. Curls and wavy bangs sectioned to shape her face, brown eyes that matched mine and oh those glossy lips..

I wanna kiss you so fucking bad baby.

Her outfit of the day, that new pink and black checkered shirt she got at the mall that I drove her to.

It’s so tight on you sweetheart, your tits look beautiful today.

White Reeboks as I have, but very much cleaner…

Those 100% perfectly stretchy, acid wash jeans you wear every week that fit your ass so fucking bad.. fuck don’t bend over.. don’t—

“Eddie? what’s wrong with you?”

Fuck— didn’t realize the moan that I slipped out when she dropped her phone, she cracked it..but all I could focus on were the back of her thighs when she bent over

“Sorry uh- I think I’m just sore from carrying those amps last night”, he says now rubbing his not sore bicep with a pout

Lie.

“Oh babe I’m sorry, come by later and I can rub it out for you” she replies

Why the fuck would you say that to me right now—

“Oh yeah? You’d just love to get your hands on me always huh sweetheart? ” leaning back in my seat, with a cocky smile

You blush and shove my arm playfully “you’re so stupid, you know what I meant”

——

She’s been like this for the past month, after Harringtons party. Smoking and drinking under that patio umbrella, away from everyone else. Laughing, holding on to each other for dear life. I tell her jokes, she ugly laughs. I love her laugh, it’s not fake it’s genuine like her.

We met at the drink table, both preferring whiskey over the red shit they put out.

We talked about our intrests, I was very suprised and impressed with how she carried herself. How she talked about herself. How she sat comfortably on my lap; as if we knew each other for forever.

Obviously her thick hips in that royal blue, tacky dress she wore caught my attention first

It takes a certain kinda person to make me laugh but she.. she was probably the most funniest and beautiful fucking girl I’ve never seen. A few beauty marks as she would call it, scattered down her neck and arms. Eyelashes so dark she could always pass on the mascara, the sweet charm and sass she had to her.. she was something different.

She was fresh to town and it was relief to meet someone new. Similar childhood experiences, divorced parents but her dad stopped reaching out to them. Her mom was just a bitch to her. Very narcissistic person but, she had her kind moments. She definitely wasn’t the worse mother I’ve ever heard of.

All of that lead to a heavy make out session in the bathroom.

Sitting at the edge of the toilet, her scratching the back of my head with those sharp coffin shaped nails, me squeezing the fat of her ass on my lap. Hell, I was surprised how into this she was.. considering I’ve only kissed two girls in my life.

Sure I’ve watched my fair share of porn, visited sex stores, took a few notes; even got a handy under the bleachers last year from Carol. She forgot to pay for the weed I gave her, she offered, why not.

“Oh yeah, what’s your name again?” I ask kissing down her neck

“Y/N, but you can call me anything you want right now” she whimpers at the feeling of me nipping her throat

-“fuck you’re a r-really good kisser”

“-could say the same about you sweetheart” feeling the roll of her heat over my already strained dick.

I wonder how many guys she’s done this with

“Sorry, I don’t usually do this but, there’s just something so sexy about you”—

Biggest fucking ego boot ever.

“Fuck baby, if you keep talkin to me like that I’m gonna bust”

“Awe, am I making you feel some typa way Eddie?” She smirks looking down at me

“You know you are”

—

Unfortunately that ended quicker than it started, Robin got too hungover and needed our space.

She told me her classes and we exchanged numbers.

After that we talked everyday on FaceTime after getting home from school. I show her a new guitar riff and she shows me the new necklaces or shirts she ordered.

Sometimes she’d forget she was on camera and changed out of her bra a few times.

Hey, couldn’t help but to look come on, I am just a man

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve fucked myself to that imagine every morning.. and evening and night..

Slept on the phone together, hung out at lunch together.

I only ever seen her at lunch other than at the end of the day in Mrs. Wilson’s calculus class. Bringing us back to now

——

“Mr. Munson are you done chatting now?” Wilson knocks me out of my trance

“Sorry bout that, yes ma’am” giving her a thumbs up sitting back up straight as she rolls her eyes subtly.

You slide me note. Folded up, in blue highlighted letters

You ever have sex before? Circle Yes or No ♡

fuck—we never even discuss stuff like that! how haven’t we? Don’t embarrass yourself man

Course I have, why? what’s got you so curious? ;)

I watch her look away quickly, gulping when she covers the paper to respond back

Well.. you’re cute and shit & was wondering if you wanna come over friday..? My parents have been gone all week and..we can hang or do whatever.. ♡

Did she wanna fuck? I hope so —wait you’re a virgin idiot, wait is she? probably not

I’m already there babe ;)

I reply with an easy smile, hiding the fact I’m in a state of panic

Good.. and uh bring those handcuffs on your wall too.. ♡

No way she’s a virgin talking like that

She rushes outta the classroom at the bell, turning back with a wink

Holy shit I gotta talk to Harrington.

“-and that’s what I’m saying dude, just sweet talk her, treat her like a princess, rub her in all the right places”—

“Okay but what ARE those places? I know her like tits and shit.. and well under her panties but what does it feel like? Ya know putting in it? What if I cum too fast and she laughs or runs away and never talks to me again..”—

I’ve been pacing back in forth in Family Video, loud where all the customers could hear. Definitely loud enough for Robin to upchuck her lunch

“No Eddie- just, come back here— Rob? watch the front please?” Steve grabs me by the shoulder making a bee line to the stock room

Sitting on the empty table still trying to gather my thoughts of Steve’s advice. “Well?” I rush out

“Damn man let me sit down first” he scoffs pulling a chair over to me

“Alright, you wanna know what inside a vagina feels like right?”

“Jesus, can you just say pussy or some shit”

“Same thing” he glared

“Okay well it’s not really sexy to just say vagina-

-“god Eddie, do you wanna know or not?” I can tell I’m testing his patience, I shut my lips, nodding eagerly

“Okay, so It’s like this- well like wet and really, really warm, almost like hot bath around your dick or a tight hug”—

“Wow, a hot bath thanks for the analogy Steve, I’ll make sure to take one when I get home”

He deadpans at me. “You asked me and I’m telling you, it’s hard to really explain other than a tight, wet warm hug. Oh!” he snaps his finger”-and sometimes it’ll tighten around your cock when she’s about to cum and holy shit dude— you better hold your load because the first time I had sex, it lasted about 10 seconds” My eyes widen

“WHAT!?” I shout before him shushing me “King Steve was a minute man?”— I joke

“Hey I said at first, when you get used to having sex your stamina gets better and for me personally”— he leans in “I can last approximately 45 minutes and 27 seconds” he sits back proudly

Cocky bastard.

Shit.

How long will I last? Will jerking off more boost my stamina?

——

Since that afternoon I did as much research as a I could, making a DIY sponge fleshlight.

That was a fail, got carpet burn.

Even bought condoms from the corner store, didnt know what size i was so, i grabbed all 4 boxes

Practicing my stroke game, using my pillow as a hole.

Down. Glide. Up. Down. Guide up.

Ow, fuck, cramp, cramp

This shits hard. My back hurts.

Throwing away the 8th used condom of the day, tossing myself in my desk chair, forehead sweaty, wrists throbbing; hearing my phone go off

FaceTime from Crush🖤

“Ah, fuck”— grabbing a shirt, wiping off the excess sweat off my skin, putting my pants back on, setting the phone up on my night stand, grabbing the guitar quickly setting it on my lap— “Hey! Sweetheart, what’s up, what are you up to?”

“I could ask you the same thing why is your face so red?” She asks giggling, laying on her tummy, tits spilling out , kicking her socked feet from behind

“Just took a hot shower is all”

“But your hairs not wet?” you give me a suspicious look, “Oh yeah, I just tied it up..sooo still want me over tomorrow?”

“Hell yeah! I picked up cookie dough the edible kind because I know you like that anddddd”- she reaches over her phone to grab something—“I rented whole stab franchise for a throwback”- showing me her laptop screen

“Well, that sounds like a party to me”

“You got that right..” She replies, biting her lip as if I didn’t notice,- “Anywaysss, just calling to remind you, see you tomorrow im tired, goodnight dummy *mwah*

She always ends our calls with a kiss on screen

Fuck I’m hard again

“Can’t wait sweetheart, sweet dreams” ending the call, looking down at my bulge

Welp, gotta jerk off again

Friday. THE day I might lose my virginity to the sexiest girl in school. My best friend.

I wake up earlier than usual, do my morning ritual, a joint. My nerves making me shower twice.

Should I shave?

Would she care?

A little trim wouldn’t hurt

May or may have not nicked my balls. Not too bad, maybe she won’t notice. Finding my nicest pair of jet black jeans I own, I only wear ‘em for special occasions and a wife beater? Nah that’s too much right? A flannel would help. Yeah. Definitely.

Hey I look kinda good, checking myself out in the mirror

Alright, wallet, keys, condoms, I glance over at the cuffs on the wall. Can’t forget those, stuffing them in my back pocket

—

My palms are sweaty, fuck even my ass is sweating.. 3 cigarettes already in, on my way to her house; of course I have a bad fucking hair day today, so I just opted for a low bun.

Before I could even knock, you open the door my jaw already on the floor

“Hi dummy!” You jump giving me a hug, pulling me inside.

What the hell is she wearing

A transparent green knitted, cropped sweater

is that her nipple I see? Those goddamn Nike shorts are doing her a favor—“Someone’s excited to see me?” Kicking off my shoes

“I’m always excited to see you.. also nice hair”

and neck goddamn, what is hell is he wearing you think, already feeling horny from the sight of my neck being so exposed

those jeans are doing his fine ass a favor

fuck I’m wet already

“Come on, already got it all set up for us”

“Lead the way princess” following behind you

I need to bite those fuckin legs.

——

We always sit like this on movie nights. Me against your headboard, back against my chest. I don’t remember how it started but I love it.

“Didn’t David Arquette also play in Spree?”

I squint back at the tv, “Uh yeah yeah he did, he was Kurt’s dad I think”

She replies with a mouthful “omyeah”

My hands have been holding both sides of her hips the whole time, occasionally rubbing them with my thumbs; every time I do it your breath picks up

Something else is about to be up—

“Huh?”

“Did you even hear me? You’ve been zoning out a lot recently”, you say sitting crisscross

“Something on your mind Ed’s?”

Gulp

“No no just— “ sigh

“Yeah, you. You’ve been on my mind.”

She smiles looking down, cocking her head to the side

“Oh yeah? Been thinking about me have you?” She grins

“You have no idea. ”

My breath hitches when you straddle me

Fuck me

“Wanna tell me these thoughts you’ve been having?” she asks twirling a piece of my bang

Remember what Steve said, sweet talk her

“Why don’t I just show you pretty girl”

Her smirk instantly falls, cheeks crimson “shit.. okay”

Running my hand up your thighs firmly, wrapping my arm around your lower back, my free hand pulling your face closer into my lips. “Like that baby?”

Who the fuck are you she thinks

“Fuck, yeah kiss me again”, I stare blankly until my eyes turn to pure lust, pushing her down to her back climbing on top to ease my tongue back into her mouth, my hips grinding into yours, hearing you whimper…

You’d think that’d make me harder but it’s when you grind back into me that did it

“You’re so beautiful you know that baby?.. fuck been missing these lips for weeks..”

“Shit, me too, been needing you so close to my body recently it’s been killin me,” she whines, rubbing her hands down my chest

—“that’s why I asked you to come over, could tell you were feeling me too”

You’re right about that, I mumble sucking your neck,

I’ve practiced giving myself hickies on my arms freshmen year.

Eddie, score

“That tank top Eddie.. t-take off the flannel let me see you? Please?” You ask giving me doe eyes. I sit up eagerly throwing it about, she sits up on her elbows, throwing off her sweater

The goddamn groan I let out

Jesus Christ

You lie back down bashfully covering yourself

A whore being shy huh?

“Whattt? She asks feeling self conscious,

“You’re..fuck.. just let me get a closer look please?” I plead, you nod shyly

Squeezing your breasts hard in my palm, licking my lips, nipping them, kissing them, hearing you gasp “holy shit -

“What??”

I do it again, in combination with my tongue, She doesn’t stop me she moans, making me feel bolder, “ Lemme take these off?” My thumbs already ready to yank your shorts down

You don’t answer

“Hey, it’s just me you know you’re beautiful to me, right?”

“Yes..you can take em off” she whispers

Thinking it’d be hot to yank them down quick like those sex movies

I try it..

“Ow! Fuck what the hell?” She jerks

I didn’t know she had the goddamn drawstring tied. , “Ow..you pout rubbing your hip, “Shit I’m sorry! I’m sorry”

I’m already fucking up, “It’s okay.. it’s just tied” she says undoing them pulling them off herself, holding her hands in her lap

I lean down to kiss both hips as an apology, looking up at you slowly undoing your hands

Cute little hair she has

“Can I um..”

She looks down at me gaining back her confidence, “You wanna eat me don’t you?” My eyes widen, gripping her side, “Yesss.. really bad” but I don’t know how to —

“Can I see you too?” again with that lip bite

“Of course” okay.. here goes nothing whispering to myself , yanking my jeans and all down in one swift motion, staring at the spot on the ceiling

You scoff with the sour look, “Oh my god”

WHAT WHAT WHAT

“You’re packing Eddie”

“Oh..thank fuck, really? I wouldn’t say that but..” I sit back in front of her

“Can I touch it?” You ask still staring at my cock

-..But I wanna taste you.. what if we..you lay on me but backwards..? Like 69?” I recommend

She nods eagerly, nervously but very excited, “Okay.. just don’t look at my asshole.. there’s a spot on it that looks like I didn’t wipe but it’s not what you think! It’s a freckle..”, I chuckle, rubbing your cheek nodding

Laying down flat, you swing your legs over my face

Oh god fuck, “Such a pretty pussy” i mumble

Suck a pretty cock you think

You’re both horny as fuck, both licking on each other immediately —“Jesus fuck!” I shout, hearing and feeling you choke on my dick

“Y/n, y-you done this before?”

“Yeah—“

Damnit.

-“But it was with a guy at my old school, said I was the best head he ever had” , you say rubbing my balls

Hot.

Okay Eddie do what feels right

so that’s the clit? how cute

Bringing my lips around your nub, licking you, tasting you, “Oh god why do you taste so good, you smell so..sweet?”

“Was that a question?” You ask popping my dick outta your mouth

“No, no just the sweetest pussy I’ve never tasted”-

the only pussy I’ve ever tasted

I’ve never smelt anything like this, I think I’m addicted

Flicking my tongue a few time feeling you react in a high pitched moan, sucking and massaging it lightly, my eyes flutter spotting your ass hole winking at me

“Holy shit” she’s pretty everywhere

“What?”

“You have such a pretty ass” blurting out

“Eddie! I told you not to look!” She whines trying to climb off, “Shut up I do what I want”saying firmly, pulling you back down by your thighs; sticking my pointer finger in your cunt,

so that’s the squeeze Steve was talking about

“Ohmyg— fuckk yes please” she vibrates around me, a guttural moan purging from my throat, curling my finger like they said —

“Oh! Fuck yes keep doing that Eddie baby please”—

“I am, I am baby you just suck my dick”—

Holy shit who am I—

“-Eddie I think I’m gonna cum yep, I’m gonna cum..”—

“Wait really?”

“Yes!”

“Really?” Asking again “YES EDDIE SHUT UP AND KEEP GOING, FUCK”—

Thrusting faster, licking faster I feel your wetness roll down and down into my mouth instantly making me cum in yours

“Fuck baby like that, fuck did you..just swallow?—“ I ask but you proceed to keep sucking-“OKAY OKAY, stop, s-shit!”

Pleading trying to stop you from overstimulating me further, “Shit.. sweetheart, that dude was right, that was the best head I’ve ever got”

The only head I’ve ever got

She lays back down beside me with a large grin,” Was that your first time getting head? You came so fast for me”

Lie.

Not replying I get up, finding the condom in my Jean pocket, “What’re ya doing?” You ask with a questioned expression, “Condom?” I hold up “Oh, oh yeah yeah right duh”—

Fuck I forgot with which way it goes on— got it

Turning back to you, cock still hard, nudging your core

You give me a small smile, watching me hesitantly about to slip my tip in

“Wait! Wait!”-

“What? Sorry, I didn’t ask”—

“Eddie I need to tell you something..”

“Yeah?”

“I can tell you definitely know what you’re doing but I just.. be gentle because I’ve never done this before..”

never done this before, never done this before

I stare like a deer in headlights, the weight off my shoulders lifted. I laugh sarcastically to myself , “That’s, well.. I should probably tell you I’ve never done it either.. like ima”—

“Virgin too?”

“Yeah, surprise?” feeling embarrassed, “How did I not know that? We tell each other everything” shrugging, “Not sure, but I’m glad you told me before I stuck ya”

“Ew don’t say stuck me weirdo”

“Look, I don’t know what I’m doing at all, I had to ask Steve for advice.. I figured you would know more I mean since you wanted my handcuffs”-, you bite your lip, head shaking

“I said that because, I figured you’d know how to use em”

“There actually just for decoration sweetheart, looked kinda metal”, we laugh in awe with each other , “But here we are..” I say biting the skin on my lip—

“Yeah here we are” you look back up at me, hopeful, “Do you wanna stop?”

“No..do you wanna stop?”

“Nah, been hoping you’d be my first actually”, you blush at my statement pulling me down for a deep kiss , “Let’s do it..”

“..but what if I cum too fast? that would be humiliating”—

- “I understand how it works.. don’t feel bad if you do, I promise I won’t laugh Ed’s” she squeezes my hand lovingly

My heart is erect

I nod, looking over all of you again, spreading your thighs a little wider, “I’ll go slow”

Furrowing my brows in consentration, slipping my tip in, surprisingly not easy mother fuck—

“Holy fuck you’re so-

“Tight? I know I have a hard time fingering my self as is”

“Why would you tell me that at this very second,” I try not to laugh, holding my shit together, “that’s so hot by the way,” bottoming you out, we gasp in sync

“Oh god”-

“What?”

“Holy god”—

“What!?? You alright?” She asks , “I’m about to cum already”—

“I told you, it’s okay”

“I know but that’s so embarrassing”

You clench around me on purpose, suddenly your eyes widen, feeling a warmth from inside, while also hearing me grunt almost in pain above you

Silence.

“Im so sorry fuck,” pulling out, shocked at how full my condom is, “Did you cum?”, she scrunches her nose, “No silly”

“But you squeezed me?”

“Yeah but, I didn’t have an orgasm”

Fucking Steve

-“But Steve said when a girl cums she clenchs around us” explaining further—

“First off, I’m gonna need you to not take advice from Steve and second, I mean according to my girlfriends we do.. it’s like a few squeezes but apparently we really squeeze for a long time when we do cum? Maybe even shake? I’m not sure but I think I’d know when I felt it”

Well shit

He looks like a sad puppy this won’t do you think

“But hey, we can try again right? Don’t be embarrassed if anything it’s kinda hot”

“Really?”

“I mean yeah, I made you cum in under like 1 second, biggest ego boot ever” you lighten the mood, nudging my shoulder smiling at me, pulling me for another kiss, “Don’t ever tell anyone that” holding my forehead to yours

You smirk, holding your pinky up “I promise”, Interlocking mine, noticing your body shifted closer, staring at your lips, “Let me try again Sweetheart” your eyes also on mine, nodding, crawling back to you, chasing your touch, taking each others breath—

Was that a car door??

“Is someone here?”

“Honey we’re home!”

FUCK, not now!!

(again recommend you listen to Wet dreamz by Jcole; it’s a bop)

reblogs appreciated // this was fun. let me know your thoughts? I do realize the smut was kinda rushed? Should there be a part 2? Suggestions? Comments? Feel like I should have kept going for them to restart again but I dunno🤷🏽‍♀️

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e-clv · 8 months

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Ok new topic. Fall Out Boy trying to do a funky fashion moment at the VMAs but only two of the members actually going for it so it’s just two men in comically huge suits and then two other guys? Funniest shit I’ve seen in weeks.

Like guys this is nothing

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upiora · 7 months

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possibly the funniest shit i’ve seen this week

#only friends the series #nick #sand #ray #Sandray

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crystcllise · 4 months

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cursed child london year 7 cast

the other week i got to see the year 7 london cast of cursed child and i am AMAZED!!! such a strong cast of wonderful performers across the board and i was absolutely blown away with their performances! you can tell they really understand their characters and have really worked on the dynamics and relationships with each other to create a realistic interpretation of these beloved characters!!

as always, i’m always watching the scorbus duos to see the little things they do with each other and i just want to say that ellis and harry’s scorbus is such a delight!!! they’re definitely my fav pair now hands down! such a sweet youthful portrayal of albus and scorpius and their dynamic on stage is so so pure i adored them sooo much!!

i got to meet ellis and harry after the show and ellis knew who i was and hugged me im fine

like broadway, i took some very unhinged notes so behold, read below all my unedited notes on (mainly scorbus) but the year 7 cast of cursed child!

ELLIS ALBUS IS SO SKRUNKLY AND SMALL AND CUTE HELP ME

james sings the end of his lines and it’s SO FUNNY

it genuinely looked like scorpius was leaning in to kiss albus after he tells him to come to the funeral

harry putting his legs up on the desk and trying to touch his toes while hermione is scolding him in his office and she just 😐

BREAD BREAD WHATS WRONG WITH BREAD??? scorpius was very excited about the bread

scorpius’ hand on albus’ chest when the train started

scorpius protectively putting his entire arm over albus’ chest in st oswald’s when amos pulled his wand out

scorpius as harry was the FUNNIEST SHIT EVER THE VOICE CRACKS AND THE LITTLE JUMPS david absolutely nailed the harry!scorpius mannerisms

“WIZZO!” (jump and finger guns) i love one skrunkly boy

scorpius looking so shocked and terrified when delphi grabbed albus’ hand and kissed his cheek

once delphi kissed albus’ cheek, she turned around to face scorpius and both of them look SO REPULSED like absolutely not get away from me

edge of the forest !!! scorpius looked so happy to call albus his best friend and albus was so shocked and so in awe (people in the crowd literally awwwed at it)

albus looking at scorpius so admirably at the triwizard tournament while he was geeking out

i’ve never seen such longing stares in the staircase ballet what the fuck

delphi’s ‘you two you belong together’ was just sooo knowing like jess!delphi is a scorbus advocate

ellis’ hair 🥰🥰🥰🥰

the collective gasp from the audience when albus said he wasn’t a loser before he met scorpius in the library… OUCH

hermione crying after ron said ‘my hermione’ and trying to hide her tears when ron kept talking to her

SCORPIUS AND THE DEMENTORS !!!! harry!scorpius absolutely devoured idk

scorpius’ scream when albus came up in the water SENT ME he squealed to the rooftops

ITS HARRYYY (the highest pitched scream i’ve ever heard scorpius was VERY excited)

hermione in tears after mcgonagall’s office and rose just running into her arms when she sees her crying oh i love them

intense staring in slytherin dorms holy mother of god

the massive scream cry delphi did in the owlery HOLY SHIT it like mimicked the cry of an augurey bird it was SO GOOD i was genuinely scared for a hot second

delphi’s “looOooooooOove” when looking at scorpius and pointing out albus’ weakness oh jess vickers my queen devours every time + albus unable to look at scorpius and scorpius in utter shock

WAIST GRAB WAIST GRAB AND SCORPIUS’ HAND ON ALBUS’ IM COMING UP when albus and scorpius had to hide from lily with the blanket, albus literally just stood behind scorpius with his hand on his waist and scorpius had his hand on top of albus’ it was sooooo adorable

harry crying in his office after talking to the dumbledore portrait and draco walking in, giving a ‘i ain’t dealing with this’ face and turning to walk out LMFAO

“ugh, is that a farmers market?” steve!draco HATES FARMERS MARKETS HELP

scorpius jumping into draco’s arms when reunited :’)

albus and scorpius literally sitting on each other in st jerome’s, their legs against each other and albus leaning into scorpius’ shoulder they’re so :((

hermione and albus are definitely close and i live for it she was so warm and comforting to him in st jerome’s this is all i’ve dreamed of

“and now i think you’re finding wonderful clarity” and GINNY LOOKING OVER AT SCORPIUS GOD SHE KNOWSS

the staring in the final staircase scene and ROSE WATCHING WITH UTTER SATISFACTION

albus’ hand on scorpius’ chest after rose interrupts and brushing it off with a fake yawn HELP

“you good albus?” “mhm” ROSE GIGGLING AND SKIPPING OFF STAGE AND LOOKING AT ALBUS AND SCORPIUS SO KNOWINGLY MY BEST GIRL

the closeness after the hug when scorpius says ‘new version of us’

SCORPIUS DOING FINGER GUNS ON NEW VERSION OF US THEY BOTH DID FINGER GUNS AT EACH OTHER ALBUS DID THEM BACK THEY ARE SO SILLY

scorpius waving, albus waving, scorpius turning to leave, giggling and waving again I FEEL ILL

david!harry completely understands albus’ love for scorpius and you can really tell in the final scene when albus tells him scorpius is the most important person in his life. he catches on throughout the show and it’s really nice to see him fully accept his son’s bond with scorpius and be content with it!!

like mentioned before, such an incredible cast and i am so sad i won’t get to see them again!!! they are truly wonderful and i hope a lot of you get to see them bc they are fantastic <3

#scorbus #albus severus potter #scorpius malfoy #albus x scorpius #albus severus x scorpius #harry potter next gen #cursed child #hpcc #harry potter and the cursed child #ellis rae #harry acklowe

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uppastthejelliclemoon · 7 months

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Cats 1998 Anniversary Celebration

Day Six: Favorite background moment- Misto almost getting hit in the face with the ball during RTT

Tugger grinned, kicking the ball as Plato tossed it to him. He could feel Mistoffelees’ eyes on his back, the small smile that was no doubt on the other tom’s face, and his swagger increased.

The maine coon had meant for the ball to be caught by his lovely magical mate.

He had meant for it to be a flirtatious toss, accompanied by a wink and an eyebrow wiggle to make Mistoffelees blush and roll his eyes in that wonderfully aloof way of his.

However, as he watched the ball soar towards Mistoffelees, Tugger’s eyes widened in horror as the ball’s trajectory went straight towards the black cat’s face. Luckily, Mistoffelees diverted the direction by sending the ball over his head, but leveled the maine coon with an unamused stare as Tugger went back to singing.

Oh, he’d be paying for that later.

Later happened to be during the Dance, when Tugger approached Mistoffelees to pull him into a short duet, as they always did during the Ball. He held out his paw, but Mistoffelees sniffed playfully at him before turning tail and joining Cassandra in a duet, as Alonzo was entertaining his younger brothers.

Tugger was left wide-eyed and jaw dropped as he heard Munkustrap’s muffled snickers behind him. He turned to glare at his brother, who simply gave him a shit-eating grin and spun away with his own mate.

When it came time for Victoria and Plato’s dance, Tugger approached Mistoffelees, wrapping an arm around his waist and tugging him close, leaning against their pipe as they watched the dance.

“It must be nice for Vicki to have a mate that doesn’t try to kill her.” Mistoffelees mused, even as he nuzzled against Tugger’s mane.

Tugger let out a groan, burying his face in Mistoffelees’ shoulder. “I’m going to be suffering for the rest of the week because of that, aren’t I.”

Mistoffelees laughed, the low, quiet sound making Tugger fall in love all over again. “Maybe for a little while.” He turned his head, kissing Tugger’s jaw gently. “Though your face when it happened was probably the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I thought I was going to hit your face.” Tugger whispered, dramatically draping himself across his mate’s side. “The thought of damaging your beauty… it would have been a tragedy.”

“The real tragedy would be Vicki and Plato seeing that we’re talking during their dance.” Mistoffelees replied, but he lifted a paw to run through Tugger’s mane.

Tugger hummed in agreement, his eyes locking onto his two very best friends as they began to dance with each other.

After a moment, he spoke once more, voice only audible to his mate.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven and we can forget that ever happened?”

“Ask me tomorrow when my sister’s not performing her mating dance with our closest friend.”

“So no?”

“No, darling.”

“Shit.”

#cats the musical #cats 1998 #rum tum tugger #mr mistoffelees #tuggoffelees #cats 1998 anniversary celebration #y'all thought you were escaping this week without me writing some tuggoff???#liv's writing corner

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sebastianstangirl01 · 1 year

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Hey I was just asking if you could write a Pete Mitchell x daughter reader??

Like the reader looses her wingman in the same way her dad did and when it happens she attempts to close everyone out in the same Mitchell fashion. But Maverick isn’t buying it so he pushes her to the breaking point in order to get her falls to crumble and he is there to help her and lend a pair of arms for her to cuddle and seek comfort in.

Thank you

150 your choice

I Think I’ve Seen This Film Before

Title: I Think I’ve Seen This Film Before

Pairing: Mitchell!Pilot Reader x Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, Implied Rooster x Reader

Summary: History repeats itself and the reader does her best to put up a wall to hide her true feelings, but Maverick refuses to let his daughter make the same mistake he did.

Warnings: angst, character death (Falcon, readers WSO), depression, self blame, guilt, Maverick comforting his daughter.

A/N: Readers callsign is MJ (Maverick Junior)

After the uranium plant mission the dagger squad became permanently assigned to top gun, either to train new pilots or to fly high risk missions. You and you’re WSO Falcon we’re picked as the 2nd bravo team alongside Phoenix and Bob, it was your job to fly with your father Maverick while Phoenix and Bob were with your honorary brother Rooster.

It had been 6 months since the mission and now there is a new group of Top Gun students coming through the program. All week you had all been taking turns doing flight trainings and now it is you and Falcon who are going to be leading this dogfighting exercise.

You and Falcon were walking side by side with his arm slung over your shoulder as he showed you a new picture he was adding to his cockpit.

“Kate’s 20 weeks, can you believe that? Me? I’m going to be a father.” Falcon chuckled shaking his head in disbelief making you smile

“That’s going to be the luckiest kid in the world, because they have me as godmother. Obviously.” You smiled making Falcon laugh and squeeze your shoulder

“Obviously. Not because they have the funniest and sexiest guy in the world as their dad. It’s definitely because of you.” Falcon said and you nodded

“Exactly.” You said before looking back down at the ultrasound picture. “But seriously. I’m happy for you, you’ll make the best dad.”

“Thanks MJ. That means a lot coming from you.” Falcon smiled

The two of you climbed up into your F-18 and got situated in, clipping your helmets on and double checking all your systems were in tiptop shape. Before you knew it you were taking off and souring across the sky.

“Alright Aviators, today MJ and Falcon will be leading you in dogfight maneuvers. You will have to evade MJ and if she gets a lock on you then you are out, report back to the tarmac for 200 push-ups. Good luck.” Maverick spoke over the radio as he flew a little ways behind you

“Talk to me Fal.” You said as you glanced around your surroundings looking for the other planes

“Looks like we’ve got 2 bogeys, about half a mile southeast.” Falcon said and you nodded before immediately flying that direction

“Gotcha, I’m in pursuit.” You said said as the two other planes came into view

“Shit! MJ’s on our tail!” One of the TopGun recruits, the WSO Flame spoke

“Damn right. Better make a move.” You smirked getting ready to perform a radar lock, you could have easily already taken them out but you wanted to give them the chance to make a move

“Break right, Dutch!” Flame instructed her pilot, Dutch

“Copy! Breaking right!” Dutch replied and did as he was told

You were already 1 step ahead though, anticipating the turn you got ahead and were able to get a lock on them making them groan in defeat, while Falcon laughed.

“You can’t beat the best.” Falcon chuckled shaking his head and you just shook your head fondly

“Nice try Dutch. Good communication Flame. Both of you head back to base.” You instructed as you flew behind them

“Copy.” Dutch spoke before increasing his speed

You followed behind them increasing your speed when suddenly your jet shook and alarms started blaring.

“What the fuck!” You exclaimed having no idea why this was happening or what this even was

“Shit! We flew into their jet wash!” Falcon exclaimed from the back as your jet shook

“I can’t control it Fal! Something wrong with the control system!” You exclaimed jerking the controls but nothing happened, it was like your jet was on autopilot and there was nothing you could do about it

“Left engine failure! Right engine failure! We’ve lost both engines MJ!” Falcon exclaimed as your jet suddenly began to spin

“Mayday! Mayday! MJ and Falcon are in trouble! They’re in a flat spin heading out to sea!” Dutch exclaimed over the radio

“The engines won’t restart! I can’t control this thing!” You exclaimed while you and Falcon both groaned as your jet kept spinning

“Altitude 8,000. 7,000. 6! We’re at 6, MJ!” Falcon exclaimed, his voice strained

“MJ! Falcon! Eject! Eject! You can’t save the plane! Eject damn it!” Mavericks voice suddenly exclaimed over the radio

“Fuck! Falcon, I can’t reach the ejection handle! You need to punch us out!” You exclaimed feeling yourself pinned forward against the controls because of the G force

“I’ve got it!” Falcon exclaimed reaching up for the ejection handle

“Watch the canopy!” You warned before you were ejected from the plane, everything from that moment happened in slow motion

Your head flipped backwards from the force of the ejection making you groan, you caught sight of Falcon as he ejected and your heart dropped and a bile raised in the back of your throat as he smacked right into the canopy. It was exactly how your father explained how Goose died all those years ago, you never knew the full extent of how your dad felt until this very second.

Falcons parachute deployed first lowering him down into the water and then yours did immediately after, you hit the water with a start the cold water shocking you momentarily. You felt your arms hit some of the debris that already fell from your plane, cutting your skin but none of that mattered.

“Falcon!” You exclaimed swimming towards his limp body. “Oh! Oh no! Falcon!”

You got to him and pulled him into your arms, his helmet was busted open and blood was leaking from a deep head laceration, his head bobbed around limply and you could feel the deep sense of dread bubbling to the surface.

“No! You can’t die! You can’t die! Please! Please! Goose! Goose please don’t take him! Please!” You screamed hysterically, feeling your emotions bubble up knowing what you feared was true. “Oh god!”

There was nothing you could do for Falcon. He was dead, just like that. No warning. No preparation. He was just gone. You held him tight and let your head rest against his as the tears flowed.

The rescue helicopter appeared and it took everything in you to get yourself together and shove your emotions down, Falcon was dead and he may have been your best friend but you weren’t the one who would miss him most. His pregnant wife and their unborn child will miss him most. He’ll never get to be the great dad you know he would have been.

And it was all your fault.

When the rescue helicopter landed at base the first person you caught sight of was your father. Maverick looked like a mess, his eyes were rimmed red and his hair was all out of place like he had continuously ran his fingers through it.

The medical team rushed towards the helicopter and unloaded Falcon onto a stretcher and rushed him into the infirmary. You numbly accepted the hand of another medic and felt Maverick wrap his arms around you tugging you to his chest. He held you against him, one hand on the back of your head while his other rested on your upper back. You could feel your resolve slipping and quickly pulled away, spotting your dads frown as your helmet clattered to the tarmac before you rushed into the building feeling that bile rise in your throat.

You busted into the bathroom and dropped to your knees in front of the toilet before throwing up everything that had been on your stomach, which wasn’t a lot but it was enough to have you heaving into the toilet bowl. After you were done you flushed the toilet then flopped back against the wall. Your adrenaline was wearing off and you could feel the ache in your limbs and around your stomach.

You pulled yourself up off the ground and stood in front of the mirror, your skin was blotchy and red and you could see a bruise starting to form around your eye from the force of hitting the water. You splashed some water on your face before unzipping your flight suit leaving you in a sports bra and a pair of spandex shorts as you kicked your flight suit over to the side along with your boots.

You looked at your reflection and saw a bruise forming around your ribcage more than likely from the force of your parachute deploying. You had cuts along your arms so you filled the sink with warm water before grabbing some of the disinfectant soap and a wash cloth, you dipped the wash cloth in the water and squirted some of the soap onto the washcloth before dabbing your wounds. All while blankly looking into the mirror watching yourself.

You looked away as someone knocked on the doorframe, Warlock was standing there giving you a sympathetic look that made you immediately look away from him. He sighed and stepped towards you settling beside you and leaning against the sink.

“Falcon is dead.” Warlock informed you and you just blankly nodded

“Yeah. I figured. It didn’t look good.” You said pausing to look up and catch his eyes before going back to what you were doing

“Your father went to inform Falcon’s wife about the accident. He said she might take it better from a familiar face.” Warlock said and you scoffed shaking her head

“It doesn’t matter who breaks the news. In the end her husband and the father of her unborn child is dead. This is going to be the worst day of her life regardless of who tells her.” You snapped before sighing and resting your head against your crossed arms on the sink. “I’m sorry sir. I didn’t mean to snap.”

“I understand MJ. These next couple of weeks are going to be tough on you and I want to let you know that there are people you can talk to. At least one person knows what your going through. One is a lot closer than the others.” Warlock said giving you a knowing look before patting your back and leaving.

You sighed and finished cleaning your wounds before grabbing your discarded flight suit and boots before leaving, you walked into the locker room and spotted Rooster waiting for you leaning against his locker. He sighed in relief when he saw you and got up to pull you into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re ok.” Rooster said kissing your forehead

“Yeah.” You mumbled tightening your hold around his waist

“I heard about Falcon. I’m so sorry baby.” Rooster said cupping your cheeks and you nodded

“Yeah me too. He was a great WSO.” You replied before pulling away and moving to your locker, you dropped your flight suit into the hamper beside it before grabbing your clothes you brought to change into and changing ignoring the look of worry Rooster was giving you. “I just want to go home.”

“Ok. Yeah. Let’s go home.” Rooster nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist leading you out of the locker room.

“Y/N.” Maverick said as he jogged up to you and Rooster. “Can we have a second Rooster?”

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll go start the car.” Rooster said kissing you on the forehead before leaving allowing you to turn back to your father

“I know what your thinking right now. But this wasn’t your fault, it’s impossible to recover from a spin like that. Trust me I’d know.” Maverick said making you sigh

“I am the pilot. It’s my job to keep my WSO safe and I didn’t do that. So yes it is my fault. I guess I really am Maverick Junior. Killing our WSO’s is just a Mitchell thing I guess.” You said shaking your head as you felt tears form in your eyes before rushing away, not noticing the heartbroken expression on Mavericks face.

The next few days have been the longest of your entire life, there was a hearing about the accident and it was ruled that there was nothing you could have done to avoid or recover from what happened and were put back on full duty. You were immediately told by Cyclone that you would be flying today and you just wanted to get it over with and go back to normal.

You were flying solo today in a F-4 instead of your normal F-18, they thought it might be a good idea to try something different instead of jumping right back into a F-18.

You had just taken off and were flying in formation with another one of the TopGun pilots when you felt it. Your chest was so tight it hurt to take a breath, your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest, you were shaking and sweating. You didn’t know what was happening but you knew you couldn’t focus.

“MJ, you alright?” You vaguely heard one of the pilots ask you but you couldn’t respond

“I think somethings wrong with MJ.”

“MJ?”

“MJ report.”

You could hear everything everyone was saying but couldn’t bring yourself to respond, all that was going through your head was flashes of the accident.

“Altitude 8,000. 7,000. 6! We’re at 6, MJ!” Falcon exclaimed, his voice strained

“MJ! Falcon! Eject! Eject! You can’t save the plane! Eject damn it!” Mavericks voice suddenly exclaimed over the radio

“Fuck! Falcon, I can’t reach the ejection handle! You need to punch us out!” You exclaimed feeling yourself pinned forward against the controls because of the G force

“I’ve got it!” Falcon exclaimed reaching up for the ejection handle

“Watch the canopy!” You warned before you were ejected from the plane, everything from that moment happened in slow motion

“Falcon!” You exclaimed swimming towards his limp body. “Oh! Oh no! Falcon!”

There was nothing you could do for Falcon. He was dead, just like that. No warning. No preparation. He was just gone. You held him tight and let your head rest against his as the tears flowed.

“MJ! Hey snap out of it. Y/N! Honey look at me!” Maverick exclaimed and you managed to look over and saw your fathers jet right next to yours. “You’re ok. Everything’s going to be ok, follow me back to base. I’ll be with you the whole way.”

You somehow managed to land your plane and immediately jumped down onto the tarmac ripping your helmet off and gasping for air as you lowered yourself to your knees. Arms wrapped around your body and you were met with the smell of cedar wood and jet fuel, your dads scent.

“I’ve got you honey. I’ve got you.” Maverick soothed rocking you back and forth like he did to calm you from a nightmare when you were a child.

“I don’t think I’m ok.” You shakily admitted and Maverick gave you a understanding smile

“I know. You won’t be for a little while, but eventually it will get easier. Not much easier but it will be more bearable. I’ll be with you the whole way.” Maverick promised kissing your forehead

“I love you dad. I’m sorry about what I said.” You guiltily spoke, remembering the comment you made about Mitchell’s killing their backseaters

“I love you too. It’s ok.” Maverick assured you. “I’m going to help you get through this. I promise.”

Taglist

@daughterofthereaper02

@luckyladycreator2

@calpurniatypes

@littlebadariell

@qnfluvr

@raefoxiegirl

@maverick-wingman

@avada-kedrava-bitch

#top gun maverick #top gun #pete mitchell #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #rooster x reader #pete mitchell x daughter reader

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annimator · 7 months

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Etoiles beating the shit out of the code entity using a block of wool has no right to be the funniest shit I’ve seen all week

#yeah I know it’s only Monday you’re not my mom #qsmp #qsmp.txt #qsmp etoiles #qsmp code entity

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godempworm · 2 years

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I love them too @nngi-e. Also, funniest shit I’ve seen all week.

Get wrecked

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obikin #anakin was never adopted 🙄#did they even watch anything Star Wars

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theremina · 8 months

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this is inexplicably making me laugh until I cry

funniest shit I’ve seen all week

#alt right nonsense #jordan b peterson #slimey the worm

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heraldofcrow · 1 month

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YOU FUCKING KNEW ALL ALONG, YOU TRAITOR, GET OVER HERE CHICKEN I'LL LEAVE YOU FEATHERLESS!!!!!!!!

THIS ISN’T FAIR!! I WAS FRAMED BY HOJO AND THEN I WAS SENT THIS ON APRIL FOOLS!!

I GUESSED BY CHANCE AND IZUNIA CONFIRMED IT DFGSHJ

And THEN, to add to this juicy drama, I made a DEAL with Izunia/Hojo/the Devil to spam me with Sephiroth stuff instead, in exchange for your damned soul. Naturally, Hojo being Izunia being the Devil, only a partial deal was struck and the spam was limited to “once a week,” or “whenever Sephiroth received bullying from Katy” dfsvgbhaj. SO I KINDA SAVED THE DAY? SOMEWHAT?

@izunias-meme-hole I have to laud you though, because framing this as a harassment campaign from “Chairwoman H” is some of the funniest meta humor I’ve seen. Silver Elite being the canonical top and most powerful Sephiroth fan-club secretly run by Hojo is crazy enough, and if Sephiroth had a dedicated hater, Hojo probably would absolutely try to destroy that person by anonymously shoving as much propaganda in their face as possible.

YOU ALMOST ALSO WRECKED US BY PITTING BLOODBORNE CHARACTERS AGAINST SEPHIROTH AND IDK IF IT WAS UNINTENTIONAL BUT HOLY SHIT XDD

That was some next level Hojo roleplay, my friend.

PS: I read “featherless” as “fatherless” at first and omg, I did a spit take. KATY YOU DID NOT JUST THREATEN LAURENCE???

#what’s funny is how hojo hates genesis in canon too and probably would never be happy with him and seph being friends DFSGYH #so causing a rift between them would be very in character #Izunia istg you GET this guy #helpp #asks #mutuals #the great sephiroth war #hojo

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nehswritesstuffs · 3 months

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Give Me That Seers and Roebuccaneer Aesthetic, If You Please

So you thought you saw the last of this AU setting? Think again!

4736 words; based off of this drawing by @pancakey-haley, which is one of the funniest things I’ve seen recently; takes place in the same continuity as Double-Date from Hell and Dr. Hart-Steeler, so a pseudo-Midwestern American modern AU where there’s no powers but somehow Brook is still a skeleton and Chopper’s a reindeer and other setting-dependent things; shorter than the other two installments but I feel it still is worth a gander

The thing about Tuesday-Thursday classes was at least neither of those days were Monday, Usopp thought thankfully as he trudged into his commercial photography class. Yeah, it was still nine in the morning, but it was Tuesday, and he’d take trudging into class clutching the largest, strongest coffee he could manage then in lieu of doing literally anything before noon on a Monday. He went to his copy of the assignment handout and almost spit out said coffee. [Modern AU where Usopp has an awkward class assignment, the Hearts know things they rather wouldn't, Bepo's cousin is just as precious as he is, and the throwback vibes are strong as everyone comes together to make things a little less shitty. Kinda. Try explaining that to Law.]

“Oh, there you are Sopp-bro!” Usopp blinked heavily and saw Carrot cheerily waving at him from across the room where they both normally sat. “How are you doing this morning?!”

“Same as ever,” he groaned as he sat down. He thought he’d gotten used to chipper highschoolers in college classes that were technically way too advanced for their age with Chopper, but after having met Bepo’s cousin Carrot… well… he wouldn’t trade her cheer for anything but it still tested him. “Do you have the week’s lesson?”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna be a weird one,” she frowned. She took one of the handouts on her desk and passed it to him. “What’s a Seers store?”

He tilted his head, still a bit too tired to fully process why the little voice in the back of his brain was panicking. “It’s a… well, it was a department store. A fancier one that didn’t sell groceries but almost everything else. You know, kinda like in the Christmas movies.”

“Oh yeah! With a whole floor for toys and a cafe and those things that go chok-chunk?”

Things that go chok-chunk…? Ah, a credit card imprinter. Shit, he was too young to know that, technically-speaking.

“Yup. It was a big thing for a long time. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it considering how important the catalogue was in history class times.” He then went to his copy of the assignment handout and almost spit out his coffee.

Oh fuck no.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

No one at 1000 Sunny Rd was really prepared for Usopp to come home from classes in such a panic. Actually, when they thought about it, it was rather normal for him to come home from class all wound up in a panic, but Tuesday-Thursdays were usually pretty chill, which made today all the more interesting.

“This is bad, you guys!” he shouted the moment he came in through the front door. He barrelled his way into the open-concept living room/kitchen area, where most everyone was already gathered. The only one of the main crew who wasn’t there was Chopper since he had his own classes, and Law was there but only really as a seat for Nami as he napped upright on the couch with his arms around her waist and head resting against her shoulder.

“What’s bad?” Franky wondered. He paused the video game, which caused Luffy and Zoro to both scowl. “It’s super-unlike you to be this panicked mid-week.”

“It’s my stupid photography class,” he whined. “I’ve got to do formal studio portraits!”

“…like school ID pictures?” Zoro grunted.

“No, like Seers portraits and shit,” Usopp sniped. “I gotta do a family portrait and my instructor wants me to do my family.”

“Oooh!” Luffy gasped, sliding off the couch. “Are you gonna take our pictures?!”

“She wants me to take a portrait of me and…” Usopp shuddered, “my dad.”

“…but your dad’s on a shipping freighter in the middle of a fucking giant-ass lake,” Sanji commented from the kitchen. He put a mug of coffee on the island and Usopp took it, hoping the caffeine would help paradoxically calm him. “Did you explain to the lady that your dad works on a fucking freighter and can’t just pop on over?”

“Even if he could… I don’t know…” Usopp looked at his friends and finally noticed Law. “It’s four in the afternoon—why’s the old man napping?”

“Old Man has graveyard shift in the ER this week,” Nami replied. Usopp stared deadpan at her while Law let out a small snore. “Hey, don’t be jealous because I technically never have to work as long as he’s around.”

“Yohoho… I remember when I worked at a Seers and Roebuccaneer, making money by playing music in the appliances and tools because they were too cheap to replace the radio system in the entire building,” Brook mused. He then looked at Usopp curiously. “How many of your esteemed classmates remember Seers?”

“They don’t even remember H-Mart—how many do you think.” Usopp took a long drink of his coffee—yeah, that was the good shit.

“Oh, that’s s bummer,” Franky nodded in commiseration. “Kokoro still thinks it exists and refers to it as Hocker’s.”

“Professor Clover always called it Hocker’s before he passed,” Robin mused idly. She didn’t even look up from her book. “I didn’t realize they were the same store until I was six.”

“Yeah, and how is this going to help the fact that I probably won’t see my dad again in-person for another eight months and in nine days I’ve got a project due with him in it?” Usopp scowled.

“Muniscius comfiance,” Luffy said with all the confidence of an eight-year-old armed with their first dictionary. Everyone stared at him until Zoro grunted in irritation.

“You heard Luff—we’re gonna malicious compliance the bitch,” he translated. “Do you just have to do one of you and your old man?”

“I have to do at least two and one of them has to be that.”

“Alright; get the asshole up on a video call, take a picture of you and your phone, and then we’ll give her, like, fifteen others that’s just us dicking around. That’ll teach her to not give you accommodation.”

“Do you realize how much fucking extra work that’s gonna be, grass-head?” Sanji chided. “He’s trying to get out of work, not make more of it.”

“No, no, he has a point,” Jinbe replied. “We’re all supposed to be here on Saturday and we can have some fun with it. Seers portraits hold a certain nostalgia factor, after all, and if you ever need the skills in the future then this would be the time to practice them with such a large group of people.”

“Yeah!” Luffy beamed. “Plus, since we’re helping, you can say you managed us like you’re the head camera guy! That’s extra credit, right?”

“I don’t know if I even can get extra credit in this class…”

“Oh, I’m sure you can!” Luffy’s eyes then went wide. “That’s right! Carrot’s in your class! She can come over too! And her cousin and the rest of Torao’s friends! It can be a big party!”

“Luffy, I—!”

“Portrait party!” Luffy cheered, signaling Usopp’s doom. “Ooooh, Sanji?! Can you…?!”

“I’m on it, Boss,” the blond smirked. “I’ll have a menu by the end of the night.”

“Guys, it’s just a project—I was planning on submitting a complaint to the department…”

“Nah,” Luffy scoffed, waving it off. “A party’s always better, don’t’cha think?”

No… he really didn’t.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I can’t believe they did this to me,” Usopp groaned. He was laying on his bed at 1000 Sunny Rd, his phone cradled in his hands as he grimaced at the screen. On the other side of the video call was Kaya, who was similarly situated in her dorm room across the state. “They know this is going to be a rough assignment to begin with.”

“It’s not their fault,” she reminded him. “They just want to help.”

“Yeah, and now it’s going to involve nacho dip and Sanji’s special tzaziki sauce.” He propped up his phone with the help of a pillow and a plush chameleon so that he could almost pretend they were in the same bed. “It’s a shame you’ve got a tournament this weekend or I’d say you should come over and keep me sane.”

“We’re only hosting the high school tournament, nothing else,” she reminded him. “I might be able to take off if Merry will let me.”

“Merry will, but I don’t know if your supervisor agrees.”

“It’s Quizbowl, not the end of the world.”

“You’d be surprised.” Usopp tried not to frown as he thought of Kaya’s family-friend-turned-undergrad-advisor, a sour man who seemed to love every opportunity to cockblock them at every turn. As though there was any cock being had to block! One look at him should have screamed that her innocence was safer with him than with others (coughNamicough), so what really was the problem?!

Okay, he knew the problems—plural—but he wasn’t about to unpack all that at the moment.

“What if you took your portrait with me?” she wondered. Her phone dropped to look at the ceiling as she shuffled around for a way to prop up the device on her end, missing her boyfriend’s deep blush. “I mean, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m going to school out here…”

“Don’t say that!” Usopp panicked. “We’re not that kind of together!”

“I know,” she smiled, “but it’s just… you are my boyfriend, and lots of couples don’t move it past that even if they are always together.”

“You do have a point…” He felt the blush further darken his complexion as he considered submitting one of his family portraits as just him and his girlfriend. Sure, they were talking about long-term-levels of seriousness, but a portrait of the two of them…? In a style common in family photos? He wasn’t entirely sure his heart (or his ever-suffering libido) would survive. “Maybe when you’re back this way for the summer we can do something like that and see if we can replicate the look with the ring lights.”

“That’d be fun,” she smiled. Kaya settled in under her blankets while hugging a stuffed sheep. “You have to tell me how everyone’s doing. Is Luffy still getting into trouble?”

“We don’t get into trouble with Captain Usopp around,” he bragged. Which… it was at least partly true. They weren’t getting into trouble. Not a lot, anyhow. For the moment. She giggled softly and allowed him to continue, the young man weaving exaggerations into his stories as they continued to talk each other to sleep.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Saturday at 1000 Sunny Rd was shaping up to be an interesting one.

First off, Carrot had stayed the night over so that she could be there bright and early, making it so that there was another kid Chopper’s age that he could conspire with when it came to goading Luffy into antics. It was only eight in the morning and they were already at it, with them jumping around the house in their pajamas. Then, on top of that, the Polar Tang had shown up at some point overnight, complete with Law’s trio of weird friends/coworkers/flunkies/platonic boyfriends/hype squad who were already making use of the pool while Law himself was nowhere to be found. Usopp had barely gotten the question out of his mouth when he heard Nami’s orgasm scream, at which he shuddered.

She was such a fucking traitor, getting action so conspicuously while he was left to dry. What ever happened to bestie solidarity?

“It’s been a rough week at work,” Bepo offered. He was sitting on the edge of the in-ground pool, kicking his feet in the water as he sipped a drink he’d procured from Sanji. “It was like an itch right under his skin since, I dunno, Wednesday.”

“That’s all well and fine but he needs to remember to shut the window,” Usopp sighed. He tried to block out the indecent and ridiculous noises coming from the offending couple and felt the need to be sick. “You guys have any suggestions about how to get back at them?”

“Eh, we can prank ‘em, but pranking Nami is like signing your own death warrant,” Penguin commented from the safety of a pool floatie.

“Oh, come on, I’ve pranked her a thousand times and I’m still alive!” Usopp scoffed. Law’s friends all stared at him, deadpan. “Okay, okay, okay… so maybe more like a handful of times… and I’m lucky to be alive be this point. Then how about Law?”

“Pranking him is hella difficult,” Shachi scoffed. “Dude’s almost always on his toes.”

“Had to be,” Penguin added. “Not gonna get into it, but he didn’t exactly have the most fun childhood.”

“I think you’d be more pressed to find someone here who did have a decent time as a kid,” Usopp replied, rolling his eyes. “Got anything I can work with?”

“Given how long he’s gone without despite a need, I’d say he’s got tw—” Bepo was interrupted by what sounded suspiciously like a strangled sob. “—one more round in him before he gets six and a half solid hours of sleep. Eight is if we’re lucky.”

“Do I even want to know how you know this?”

“Scientific method,” all three pool-goers said in unison. Usopp smacked his forehead and took a deep breath…

…wait a moment…

“Wait, you know I’m going to be roping people into my commercial photography assignment later, right?” Usopp posed. The others simply stared at him. “The assignment calls for imitating the style of a Seers portrait and I was thinking…”

“Oh, fuck, we’re in,” Shachi grinned. He scrambled to get out of the pool and towards his towel, drying off unevenly. “I’ve got just the thing!”

“This is news to me,” Penguin stated. “What the fuck do you have that’s got you like that?”

“All the work shit that’s still in the trunk!”

“Work shit…?” Usopp did not like the sound of that. “What sort of medical torture devices you got in there?”

“Not torture devices,” Shachi insisted. “More like there was this thing at work last week where we wore goofy outfits and took turns playing around in Pedes.” Another verbal confirmation of Nami getting fucked out of her mind cut him off and he grimaced.

“Well, most of us did,” Penguin said, taking over. “Grumpass didn’t, but that’s also, like, the only department he normally steers clear of; most do if they can help it.” He then looked from Usopp to Shachi and back, noting

All of Usopp’s synapses began to fire at once and he began to grin just as manically as Shachi (or Luffy during a particularly tasty meal). A costume cache? Oh, he was fucking in.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Admittedly, Usopp was having a lot of fun with his assignment when he stopped to think about it. He and Carrot were able to set up their impromptu portrait studio in the office area, having pooled their equipment checkout resources and were able to snag enough studio lights and varying accessories to actually function like they were supposed to instead of trying to cobble together some bastardized system using cheap ring lights and Franky’s cell phone (which had genuinely gotten him an A, but never again). They even got some neat gels and a couple softboxes, which they were sure some of the film majors were going to murder them over. Was it worth it? Always.

“So… we’re basically doing a photo booth, but with a Seers portrait vibe,” Nami said as she went through the box of clothes. Usopp did not understand how she was awake and functioning while her manfriend was still dead to the world in her bed, but he figured it was best to not think about it.

“All in the name of malicious compliance,” he replied. “I’ve already got the one with my mom’s wake portrait and the selfie of my dad up on my phone, so…”

“Please tell me it’s the slutty one that Shanks sent you as a joke.”

“His dating profile pic? It’s not like you’re dealing with a fucking amateur, Nami.” He folded his arms across his chest and pouted as he attempted to stand his ground. “Otherwise everyone else is a-go.”

“Is that why the goobers are running around crazier than usual?”

“Define ‘goobers’ in this situation.”

“The ones who kicked me out of my bedroom to ‘get Law ready for his closeup’?”

“Okay, for one, a portrait is not necessarily a closeup, but for two…” Usopp was about to continue when he saw Bepo shuffle into the room, the bear looking nervous as he clutched a vintage coin book in his paws. “Ready?”

“We’ve got ten minutes to get this going before he wakes up,” Penguin said from behind Bepo. The bear moved aside and showed Penguin in nice slacks and a polo shirt—was the penguin on his hat holding a cocktail—helping Shachi, who had found a pair of denim overalls with a duckling on the front to put with his normal sweater—where did he get the propeller for his hat—the pair pulling along a half-asleep Law, perfectly dressed for the occasion.

Usopp swallowed hard; he was going to die.

Quickly, he got the shots he needed of Law, Penguin, and Shachi before allowing the latter to cart the former off before the perfectly weary and pliable sleepiness wore off, Nami snapping a couple pics on her phone as extra insurance before vanishing herself. Bepo then went and got Carrot, the cousins posing for a few different shots before Luffy could not longer be contained and burst his way into the makeshift studio, demanding to be included in the proceedings.

Eventually, it was getting towards the end of the afternoon and both students were beginning to feel the strain of using their newfound skills continually for the entire day. Not only was it remembering f-stops and checking light meters and making sure they didn’t accidentally hit the settings reset button, but also wrangling… oh, the wrangling that they had to do. It honestly was insane. Not only did they have to attempt to control Luffy, but the entire rest of the house as well as they came in and out of the office area, dressed in both costumes and whatever their nicest (or tackiest) clothes on-hand were. It felt as though everyone else at 1000 Sunny Rd was deliberately making it rough for them when it came to actually getting things done.

“You people are going to be the death of me,” Usopp groaned as he melted onto one of the barstools by the kitchen island. A mug of coffee was placed in front of him, and a can of pop in front of Carrot as she joined them, the younger one decidedly more lively.

“I think it’s a lot of fun,” she replied. “We only have a few more to go; using the costumes were a great idea.”

“Speaking of which, I’ve noticed there’s a distinct lack of those weirdos,” he noted. Usopp glanced around—nothing. Sanji scoffed from the other side of the kitchen as he peeled potatoes.

“Nami-swan sent them on an errand, so they took the Tang and bolted ages ago,” he said.

“It’s bad enough she sends the rest of us to do her dirty work, but that’s ridiculous,” Usopp frowned.

“They know better than to invoke Nami-swan’s lovely wrath,” Sanji swooned.

“Is ‘lovely’ the correct word for it, though?” Carrot wondered.

“The simp’s a lost cause,” Usopp deadpanned. Sanji did not hear them, as he was too busy fantasizing to be of much use conversation-wise. “You’d think he would have stopped once Nami started fucking another man, yet here we are.”

“I didn’t know simping could be… uh… platonic…?”

A beat.

“Carrot, nothing about Sanji and women is platonic.”

The younger teen shrugged and grabbed a plate so she could pile on a bunch of the tiny treats that Sanji was still cooking for everyone, making sure to get enough for both her and Usopp, who they both already knew would be denied extras until later. They brought their drinks and the plate back to the office area and began to eat in relative peace and safety, keeping to themselves until they heard the crunch of driveway pebbles under car tires, signaling that whatever errand Nami had Penguin and Shachi on, they had returned from it.

“Good,” Usopp grunted through a mini spanikopita. “Now maybe I can get a real shot of those morons before Law leaves for work.”

“Possibly…? Let’s go see if they need any help!”

“You can; I’ll just stay here and prep for the next group.”

Carrot pouted for a moment before leaving the office area, letting Usopp fiddle with the light stands. He was able to rearrange the setup for a smaller group when he heard a soft knock at the door.

“Master Photographer Usopp is almost ready!” he replied. The door creaked open and he frowned. “Hey, I said I was almost—!”

The words died in his throat as he was shocked to see Kaya standing there, looking at the studio setup as though it was the most technical-looking thing she’d ever seen. She turned back to him just in time to see as he wrapped her in a hug.

“Oh! Usopp!”

“How did you get here?!” he wondered. She pressed a kiss to his lips and giggled.

“Mr. Penguin and Mr. Shachi came to get me,” she admitted. “It was a little weird, and I had to convince my sorority it wasn’t a kidnapping…”

“No… no… I don’t want to know,” Usopp decided. He looked at Kaya and all the stress that had been built up that day seemed to melt away. His mom had always told him that love could break the hold that hardships had on people and make much easier to bear, and it was times like this where he truly believed that. “I’m just glad they didn’t send Sanji as one of the conspirators this time.”

“He meant well.”

“That’s giving him a few too many benefits of the doubt.” It was then that he saw Carrot come in, carrying what looked to be Kaya’s backpack. “Isn’t that right? Letting Sanji loose on a sorority is just asking for trouble.”

“Is that why he went to culinary school and not a regular four-year university like us?” the teen wondered.

“One reason of many.” Usopp froze as Kaya took her backpack and brought out two framed photos—her parents. “Uh… Kaya…?”

“We’re not going to be able to see if the ring lights work as a substitute if we don’t have the real thing to compare it with,” she reasoned.

Okay, so maybe the chaos was worth it after all.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

That night was one of the best party nights Usopp had experienced in a while. It wasn’t the good food (Sanji outdid himself, again) or the friend-based antics (which were always a good time), but it was the fact that he went to bed that night with Kaya, the pair snuggled up together in his bed for the first time in months to combat the night chill with their shared body heat.

Okay, so what if they were fully clothed? And that there was a bedsheet separating them? And there were no bedroom activities other than sleeping going on? They all couldn’t be Nami; be realistic.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Law was honestly nursing one of the worst headaches he’d ever suffered through. It wasn’t quite a migraine—he was not nearly nauseous or light-sensitive enough for that—but it was still making him regret having gone on midnights last-minute the week prior despite the fact he was currently on days. He clutched his coffee cup a little closer—there was something to be said about the hot bean juice that made the world marginally tolerable.

After checking in on a patient he was due to operate on the following day, Law decided to make his way to the nurses’ station to follow up with Bepo. It was there that he saw that his best friend was sitting there with his cousin, the teen happily chatting away as she showed him a bunch of photos from a large manila envelope.

“Is this a personal or business visit?” Law asked as he approached the desk. Carrot caught sight of him and her grin only widened.

“Oh, there you are, Law-bro!” she said merrily. “I was just showing off the prints of the project Sopp-bro and I did last weekend! Do you want to take a look?”

“Sure.” Law sat his coffee down and began to casually flip through the photos. Seas, they looked like the kind of portraits that Cora-san had of him and his parents and brother from back when he was a kid. Everyone was in their silliest… with exceptions, of course. He looked up from the shot of him and Nami, the two of them dressed in high-waisted jeans and frumpy sweaters, to see that Carrot and Bepo were both looking at him expectantly. “Did you get the grades back?”

“Not only did we pass, but we also got extra credit!” Carrot grinned. “Sopp-bro’s also turned in a formal complaint to the department head that’s probably going to escalate.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear.” Law then narrowed his eyes at a package that was sitting on Bepo’s desk, wrapped in brown paper and looking very suspicious. “What’s that?”

“Oh, that’s for Peng-bro and Sach-bro,” Carrot explained. “They paid special for that one.”

“Did they now?” Law didn’t like how the cousins exchanged a wary glance—when they were up to no good, it was genuinely no good. “Now why would they pay special for a school project you and Nose-ya did?”

“A frame and use of the special printer.” Law looked over his shoulder to see Shachi pushing his mobile station to its dock and plugging it in. “Kiddos went and made up a nice family portrait of us.”

“I think you mixed up ‘nice’ with ‘tacky’ again,” Law deadpanned. Shachi waited until Penguin caught up before taking the package from Carrot. “Besides, you sound like Strawhat-ya by saying ‘family’ like that.”

“We’re four of the weirdest brothers and you know it,” Penguin huffed. He looked over Shachi’s shoulder as the other man unwrapped the photo frame, both men’s faces lighting up at the contents. “Oh, Carrot, if you weren’t way too young for me I’d kiss you.”

“It’s all Sopp-bro,” the teen blushed. “It actually was used as one of the examples in class! The professor was very impressed with the composition and technique!”

“Let me see,” Law said. He took the frame from Shachi’s hand and went pale while his friends all started to giggle.

There, in his hand, was a portrait of him with the techs, an enlarged and faded-in insert image of the charge nurse in the upper right-hand corner.

“…did you shits deepfake me…?”

“No, that was all you,” Carrot supplied. “The professor really enjoyed your expression! Said it was exactly the kind of variation the portrait batch needed!”

“When the fuck did you take this?!” Law grimaced, absolutely aghast.

“You were still half-asleep and in the post-nut haze, so we took advantage of it while we could,” Penguin said. Law instead grit his teeth.

“So you took that as permission to put me in a frumpy dress, bonnet, and plastic pearls?”

“Don’t forget the coin collection,” Shachi reminded him. “I bet that was a nice touch.”

“We were the only two students that had portraits with props, so it really was!” Carrot seemed absolutely oblivious to the ire that was building in the surgeon. “He did a really good job on the compositing as well, which made it so Bep-bro’s fur wasn’t too clipped!”

“…and you people thought this was a good idea, how?!”

“It’s just a bit of fun,” Shachi said, taking back the photo frame. “Besides, it’s our family portrait, like I said. Plus it helped some of the Sunny gang.”

“You guys are dead,” Law hissed, the last word through grit teeth. Shachi and Penguin both turned on their heels and bolted, with the surgeon not too far behind after depositing the portrait back in Carrot’s hands. She and Bepo looked at one another for a moment before bursting into giggles, because they knew something Law didn’t:

Hiding underneath the goofy portrait was three others; one was everyone who was there at 1000 Sunny Rd. that day, another of the four friends in less-goofy getups, and one of just Law and Nami—one of the most normal photos taken the entire day. Not only did they have them sitting there layered in the frame, but copies had been set aside for Cora-san and Bell-mère as well.

Ah… what he didn’t know wouldn’t kill him.

#Usopp #Kaya (One Piece)#Usopp x Kaya #UsoKaya #Nami (One Piece)#Carrot (One Piece)#Trafalgar Law #LawNa #Law x Nami #Bepo #Penguin (One Piece)#Shachi (One Piece)#One Piece #fan fiction #there are Catholics less sexually repressed than Usopp is in this fic lbrh #this is less Liar Usopp and more Clinical Depression Usopp I hope you understand #Trafalgar D. Water Law

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