Okay but, if the Transformers were real, I feel like we'd find out because some idiotic TikToker decided to carjack what they thought was an abandoned vehicle but was actually a Decepticon, and then got violently murdered mid "Joyride Challenge" when the Decepticon decided enough was enough.
And then a "Decepticon Stowaway Challenge" would go viral where people try to identify Decepticons while they're hiding in Vehicle Mode, and instead of reporting them to the authorities, try to hide inside and see how long it'll take the Decepticon to find them out. I imagine that, eleven times out of ten, it ends in a TikToker dying.
The Transformers being real would end in TikTok going out of business because 99% of their users just got themselves "unalived" by killer alien robots while chasing clout. With no useful personal information to sell, and FUNERAL HOMES being the only companies that was interested in the information they were selling, you can guess why their business model wouldn't be sustainable in a sci-fi war series.
Look, we all know that TikTok would be directly destroyed by the cons the first time someone did a mocking video edit of Megatron twerking.
Ex-wives: Hey look over here, listen up- LISTEN HERE. Are you ready to party because you will be singing this as all 6 queens at 3 am like a maniac
No Way: Beyonce except she smack talking the living hell out of her douchebag of an ex
Don't Lose Your Head: Yall may say I be problematic but at least I went out with a bang lmao (And I'm def not reliving trauma at the end nope what r u talking about)
Heart of Stone: Cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry- oh wow that so sweet! cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry- oh crap I cant sing that high- cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry
Haus of Holbein: D A S I S G U T O H J A or Emotional Whiplash except its waaaaayyy too catchy
Get Down: Henrat gave me 5 mil, the other queens could never lol (The woof tho)
All You Wanna Do: The definition of twerking while crying (Yay more reliving past experiences at the end :D)
I Don't Need Your Love: Alicia Keys meets Beyonce and it's ✨inspirational✨
Six: Cathy convinces the Queens to write fanfiction about themselves and it somehow works
Megasix: Same as Ex-Wives except its harder and you look even more like a maniac, a freaking bop if you will. Also the unofficial official source of head cannons for the fandom
____________________________________________
EXTRAS!
Wearing Yellow to a Funeral: Anne died and chose violence not long after
Queens Fight Scene #2: Is this a West End/Broadway production or a wrestling match between dead Tudor queens? (Aka Anna and Cathy being the "Can I get a waffle? CAN I PLEASE GET A WAFFLE???" guy as the other almost tare each other to shreds)
K Howard Roast: Top 6 pictures taken before disaster
I didn't watch all of it because tbh I don't care about people not Sir and or Ma'am (also lol I lived this part I know how it went)
WHERE IS SIR TELLING TONY BLAIR TO FUCK OFF AND OFFERING TO WALK WITH HIS GRANDSONS AT DIANA'S FUNERAL? Oh right, it doesn't fit The Narrative™.
Ah yes, the "Sir is a bad father" trope, of course *yawn*
SEASON 1 MA'AM AND SIR YAAASSSS *aggressively nests in bae* LOOKIT MY WIFE
Conflicted because TV Sea Duke berating the accuracy of Harry's Nazi costume is on brand but also HIS MA HID JEWS AND HE ACTUALLY STACKED BODIES IN THE ROYAL NAVY AND THIS IS THE HILL YOU'RE WRITING HIM TO DIE ON???!!! GET FUCKED.
Camilla did not twerk at her wedding reception wtf
Ma'am and Sir's "old married couple" moments <3
But also why is his only dialogue "you wanna talk about it?/bruh I'm excited about dying it's finna be lit?" To be fair his actual funeral was entirely On Brand™ and I find a weird comfort in that.
Ma'am's speech at Chuck's wedding is single handedly the best moment of this entire season, nay, 5 & 6 combined (except that award winning performance by that birb)
armin used to both read and write omegaverse fanfics
jean was planning to ask mikasa out at a ruby tuesdays and he hired a small band to play “when a man loves a woman” to play bc he was so sure she’d say yes. she rejected his ass and they both stared at each other awkwardly the entire song
connie listens to edm music and headbangs
mikasa had a plastic halloween rat named templeton that she carried around EVERYWHERE until she was like 12
reiner twerks on instagram live and annie roasts the living shit out of him
hitch had a singing insta account in 7th grade and it’s so bad
connie, sasha, and armin all went to furcon and got wasted. had the time of their fuckin lives
eren made a fan account for himself and told people that it was a secret admirer
annie broke up with armin in the middle of the minions movie
armin has an UNHEALTHY sonic obsession
sasha makes cupcakke remixes
armin had a walten files phase
at night eren pisses in a glass jar he keeps by his bed and pours it out in the morning
eren doesn’t own a hairbrush
hange forced moblit to go through a haunted house with them and he cried
when armin and annie dated and kissed for the first time, annie immediately said “oh ew”
levi fell through an attic floor once
erwin used to regularly get high off of flonase so he could finish late night assignments in high school
sasha threw up from nerves on shadis while getting drug tested by him. her test came back negative
reiner will randomly shoot straight up and gasp for air and then lay back down like nothing happened while sleeping
reiner has a psychology book that he carries around everywhere and pretends to read it when he’s alone to look cool
erwin gave connie a pair of his chanel heels left over from his drag years for christmas
marco got hit with a firework while playing guitar at their fourth of july party
armin got stung by a wasp and was crying so hard that everyone thought he was having another allergic reaction
ymir and connie have INTENSE just dance competitions
in one of those competitions, sasha tried to join and broke her ankle
reiner is a BARB!!!!!!
bertholdt had a cavetown phase and then had to destroy all the evidence after the anti semitic/racist tweets resurfaced
jeans dog unalived itself on accident and connie laughed
eren used to pretend to sleep talk at sleepovers
mikasa literally cannot share with anybody unless it’s sasha
one year for halloween they did a group costume as the peanuts and made connie go as charlie brown
armin’s BeReal notification went off at his parents funeral and he took the photo
connie has gotten permanently banned from roblox for telling kids to stuff themselves in an oven
ymir also bullies children but she’s entirely more creative about her insults so she doesn’t get banned
jean was an ASSHOLE in middle school like he was the kid you wanted to bodyslam into the water fountain
hitch does the “who?” “no who asked” thing
gabi plays rocket league with reiner and cusses out full grown adults so badly that reiner has to mute her when she loses
all of the non-adult dudes have seen each other’s penises because they wanted to rate them. reiner won 1st place
hange eats their own fingernails
armin has a list of who he would and wouldn’t save in the event of a zombie apocalypse based on usefulness. he won’t tell anybody where they stand, but just tells eren “i love you so much” whenever he asks
armin had literal headgear braces from 5th-9th grade
sasha did the cinnamon challenge and almost choked to death and had to go to the hospital
I really love your analysis (and of course all the stories you write) of Kelvin and I was wondering what type of music do you think Kelvin listens to? And what style of clothes would result from that?
I have this idea (or more like a wish/obsession) in my head that he'd listen to rock and metal 😏 maybe not death metal but at least some metalcore and, probably due to me being a Rockabella irl, I so wish for Kelvin to listen to some nice classic and 50s rock while maybe dressing up slightly into that direction. You know those jeans, converse sneakers (or boots) and maybe a tight white t-shirt combined with a leather jacket or something cuter like a white shirt, suspenders and a bow tie. It would look so cute on him 😍
What are your thoughts on this? I'm so curious 😁
Hello Raven! The amazing writer Raven uwu a honor! ♥
Do you want me to analize and do THEORIES? AGAIN? I sadly can't do that now... I'm actually too busy to OK HEAR ME OUT
I fully damn agree with you and is fully my headcannon. With the 0.5% of what we can hear of the music he is listening on the helicopter, it have a rhythm more inclined to the rock side, specially since we can listening what it seems to be the drums. Also, as a metal head myself, we can't literally don't listening some rock in a place so metal as a fucking helicopter, I mean, come on, is like say that you love candies and you don't eat one in a trip. Also there is nothing more metal and rad and punk that just listen rock in a middle of a mission as you give 43 fucks about the orders?
He is like "pfff orders? I will see what the fuck I do on land, let me smash this blast against my ears OMG I'M DEAF NOW, what they said about don't hear metal too high to not break my ears was TRUE!"
He seems like rock- punk rock for me, probably some metal in his hard days, specially glam metal like Motley Crue. He also seems to have a (very obvious) soft side, so I guess, in his softie days, he would be listening soft rock, some Queen and Bowie, and full romantics guitars songs country style to which he would fully want to badly slow dance with his SO.
And I think he would secretly likes 80's Disco. I mean, he have the face of someone who drink a beer more of the usual and end crying af and half bad singing Total Eclipse Of The Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Kelvin is the kind of dude who play (badly) to be a hardcore but sing "I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world ♫" with the headphones at max, vacumming the living room, dressed in dark colors with the pastel color apron of his wife/partner.
Kelvin is the kind of dude who will say that certain pop song is too mainstream for his taste but will have it hidden in an album in Spotify. He would pretend is too metal punk pure blood but will have a favorite reggaeton, and he will love it, and dance it hidden in the bathroom as try to twerk to the mirror.
He would listen a variety of genders because he loves music, but he would never confess it because he have a hard appearance to maintain (even when he is a softie, but well, mostly of the most metal punk heads are fucking softies).
And clothes? SAME, VERY AGREE. Early rock style, very Travolta style (I think he would be a mega fan of the movies of the young Travolta, like Saturday Night Fever and Pulp Fiction). Specially if is in a "playfull party mood".
I think he would normally wear something cool and chill, but definitely with a leather jacket like:
In lazy/ too busy to be cool days, he would be pretty basic: hoodie and done, move on. But his wardrobe would be the most basic boring color palette, like, boy would have 25 shades of grey, black, dark blue and brown. A miracle is find something dark green or even red. Boring ass. Jeans, jeans jeans jeans... baby you have only jeans??? (he would say no and pull a pair of the most basic black pants ever)
He would totally have ONE good fancy jacket like this and will be the most formal clothes he can have (before jump to full wedding/funeral black suit that he would have because being militar he would totally assist to way too many funerals)
So... YEAH lmao I again get lost in the theories XD Was super fun tho! Thanks for the ask! I love you a tooooooooooon ♥
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By the way, this kind of random crap would be also his style. Funny random unexpected trash that he would send you a Saturday at 2am because is drunk but is thinking about you.
The 87 cent solution. How was watching Scrooge madness, (I would get upset over 20 or more bucks. But 87 cents). Probably one of Glomgold best scheme and would have one. Some probably find Glomgold annoying but I love how cartoonist evily, stupid and over the top he is. He not threaten well his stupidity is more of threaten then his actually plans. But poor Owlson. Last episode time travel, this episode freeze time.
To be fair, even if it was something small like that, if there was something I KNEW was there, and now it’s missing, and no one believes me, I’d be pretty upset too! Scrooge definitely took it too far, but I can sympathize.
Glomgold’s entrance at the funeral might just be the best scene in this entire show so far. For the briefest of seconds, I though that he might actually feel the slightest hint of sadness at his long-time rival’s passing. But nope! That song was the perfect choice for that moment XD. And then he started twerking on the casket! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Absolutely the funniest moment in the show.
Owlson is when you take an actual, normal businesswoman and place them into a world where billionaires personally go on adventures to earn their fortunes. I feel bad for her.
Pack 18 pairs of underwear so you can share it with any bird friends you make.
It may be tempting to pack a bird, but you must resist the temptation. Any possible bird friend will become jealous as a result.
Pack some black paint to cover your clothes with in case you suddenly need to go to a funeral.
Cover yourself in bird feathers to attract bird friends. Alternatively, wear a hat that looks like a bird celebrity. That way, many birds will want to come and ask the bird celebrity for their autograph.
If you want to vacuum up all the sand at the beach, don’t pack a Hoover. It doesn’t have the required twerk necessary. Instead, pack a SUCKYBOI9000. Not only will it suck up all of the sand, but it will suck up the entire ocean, which is ugly and gross.
Don’t wear sunscreen to ward off sunburns. Instead, transform into an animal without skin, like a goat, or a goose, or a ginko tree.
Cover your self in butter to prevent nightmares. That way, you’ll be too slippery for the god of fear to grab you.
Learn kung-fu. That way you can protect your newly made bird friends from Michael Keaton (the natural predator of birds).
Hello! Welcome to my all loving, all accepting, very inclusive blog space! We love everyone here and accept everyone!
Do not even think of interacting if you:
-know how to dance the Macarena
-are anti-Green olives
-are anti-pineapple pizza
-have a bedroom with hardwood floors
-can do the chicken dance
-watch 70’s soap operas
-sing gospel music in the shower regularly
-own a dog with white fur
-is pro-olives
-wear a pair of walmart cowboy boots
-can speak Texanese
-have a bathroom with tiles
-shower once a week
-know the hamster dance song
-has played any of the papa Louie games
-sniff carpets regularly
-can name the members of the band, “Tailored Swift”
-think tears are tasty
-identify as a Chinese mitten crab (if you identify as a hermit crab or a Chesapeake blue crab, your fine)
-love Chinese mitten crabs
-can play the melodica
-have toes
-have fingers
-played checkers
-watched “the Care Bears movie” and enjoyed it
-think that your cat can do nothing wrong
-had owned a fish that lived in water
-think that cheetos are tasty
-believe that Hiccup Haddock III is kind of cute
-had a fictional crush on Howl
-regularly roleplay as a coffee pot
-know all the lyrics to the SpongeBob theme song
-brushes your teeth every night
-had sang “toxic gossip train” at least once
-are pro-beaver
-believe that moose are real animals (they’re not)
-have been struck by lightning
-been given a proper Viking funeral
-have been crushed by a rainbow at least once in your life
-anti-letting-bunnies-rule-the-world
-anti-Czech fraud
-can lick your knee
-can twerk to “Let it Go”
-Fart, burp, and sneeze at the same time
-breath fire
-breath acid
-have less than two tongues
-is against going to war with the giant radioactive zombie baguettes that live in the stratosphere and eats our native butterflies that have TikTok accounts.
I didn't know they were together again bcuz I hadn't watched that nct news thing yet, and then I opened insta and got attacked by this. Please play work it and hello future at my funeral and bury me without coffin. Coffins are expensive. Invite Ten and pay him to twerk next to my grave. This will be the best funeral in history.
Have you ever seen a more foolish pair of best friends.
i swear to god if they keep repeating the same part of the same aespa song i’m going to fucking RIOT
ohh.... that must be the kpop dance cover group.
Black Mamba isn’t even a good song!!!!!
i would say their record player is broken but nobody fucking uses those things anymore which means these guys are doing it on purpose. DISHONOR ON YOU DISHONOR ON YOUR COW.
perhaps the repetition of this song is just my penance for the day
i feel like Sister Michael at the funeral when she asks herself “is this hell? am I in hell?”
I’m twerking on the runway.
they changed the song, i am BLESSED
took three whole days off from tutoring because a bitch needs a break already anticipating tomorrow’s headache
buddie supremacy
lord why did you give me a student i cannot stand i am not your strongest soldier
Hi, this post serves as introduction and as masterpost to my ongoing Glee Rewatch. I watched the show once before (during the first half of 2022) and I already missed it a month later, hence the idea to not only rewatch it, but give my thoughts on each episodes in individual posts. My thoughts range from simple opinions (you'll see a lot of me gushing on outfits) to full-on analysis (why is there a French cabaret poster on the wall?) but it's all very not serious. I don't delve much (at all? for now?) into the real-life stuff since I'm still new to the fandom and everyone probably already knows everything about everything.
Written on October 1st, 2022.
Season 1
Just finished writing for the first episode!
Finn is cute in Glee 1x08 after being slushied
Glee: Grilled Cheesus
Pilot | Showmance | Acafellas | Preggers | The Rhodes Not Taken