#ford was just Bill's special guy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eldragon-x · 1 year

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Okay let's talk about how actually Bill is attached to Ford and genuinely sees him as a friend and maybe even likes him more than literally anyone else which was originally going to mainly revolve around Weirdmageddon, however I absolutely needed to add creator commentary and extra-canon in order to dig into Bill's mentality.

First, I'd like to point out this comment by Hirsch from the Sock Opera DVD commentary about how Bill views Mabel:

“Bill genuinely believes that Mabel’s kinda like him. He sees Mabel as a chaos agent. Like, Mabel has got a little bit of a seed of anarchy in her, she’s a little bit selfish, she likes to have fun at whatever cost. And Bill is all those things times a billion. So he thinks when he lays it all out for her like: ‘How about instead of being lame, you do something fun! And crush whoever you want in the process!’. He thinks that’s gonna go over. And he’s not wrong in seeing that side in Mabel but Mabel is a better person than Bill Cipher.”

as well as this bit from "Dipper's and Mabel's Guide to Mystery and Nonstop Fun" written by Bill:

Both which pretty much confirm that Bill likes Mabel and assumes they're alike based on a couple similarities, which adds up when you look at how he treats and interacts with Mabel in the show but let's not derail.

The point I'm trying to make here is that if Bill can get attached and relate to a twelve year old he's known for half a summer, it's pretty easy to imagine he probably feels similarly about a guy he's known for thirty years and is the character who by far has the strongest connection to Bill.

Of course for Bill to relate to Ford there has to be some similarity in the first place. And there are! You could compare Ford's willingness to build an interdimensional portal to gain knowledge and admiration to Bill's desire to reach beyond his own two-dimensional world and eventual attain of knowledge and power.

Of course, Ford isn't the first person to attempt to build a portal for Bill. But the similarities run deeper than that.

So you know how Ford's been ostracized for all his life and leaned into trying to be outstanding and special which was encouraged and made worse by Bill?

Because Bill namedrops the author of Flatland in the Bill Cipher AMA when asked about his birth dimension.

and on top of that, in Journal 3 Ford describes a dimension called Exwhylia which references Flatland and suggests Bill could have come from a similar dimension.

To keep it short for those unfamiliar, Flatland is a book about a place of that same name and describes it as a plane where three-dimensionality is incomprehensible, only the heads of society are allowed to know about other dimensions, the social system depends on a strict hierarchy, everything that risks deviating from the norm is shut down, may be worth mentioning here that triangles are near the bottom of the hierarchy too.

Yeah I don't think I need to really explain that Bill would absolutely hate it here and it's really jarring how much this place clashes with him.

Anyway do you see where I'm going with this? Bill probably being shunned by his world and Ford's whole deal?

About the leaning into being special thing, Flatland people are really just. people but shapes. So to me it implies Bill didn't always have his powers (on top of him literally saying "I wasn't always this way" in Weird 3 while talking about his newly gained powers and before talking about his old dimension). Can you imagine how much gaining those brought out the worst in him? I think he was already self-centered before but now he has more reason to see himself above others.

Now obviously, Bill just claimed Ford was special and called him his friend as a manipulation tactic, but it's significant to remember that we're talking about the guy who said this:

and is pretty much confirmed to apply this mindset to himself:

I think that while yes, Ford and Bill's friendship started out as nothing but manipulation on Bill's part, he really grew attached to the guy based on what they had in common.

Unfortunately, Bill does the same mistake with Ford as he does with Mabel and assumed he's more like him than he really is. I mean,

Bill wrote this into the Journal during Ford's paranoid era. And I don't think he's just rambling because he says "don't you understand" and "I ask you" which very much sounds like he's trying to be convincing.

Anyway, yeah I think this scene from Weirdmageddon 1 was really another genuine offer, rather than just plain and simply Bill mocking Ford.

Also Weirdmageddon 2 pretty much proves to me that Bill does see Ford as special. Just look at how he's always carrying golden Ford around in contrast to all the stone-turned townsfolk being built into his throne. Literally special treatment! In a bad messed up way.

Also a big fan of this episode showing that Bill does not care about the well-being of his so-called friends (which is even more outright in the uncut storyboard version of this scene)

really cementing the fact that not only does Bill see himself above mortals, but above everyone and really the only apparent reason they are friends is because they support Bill and he thinks they're fun.

So yeah it is absolutely possible for Bill to regard Ford on a similar level as them, maybe even above them. Finally, let's talk about the penthouse scene because I have a lot of feelings about that one.

After attempting to charm Ford, Bill's first move in trying to negotiate is talking about his old dimension and how restricting and narrow-minded it was. Already brought this scene up earlier but honestly the fact that he just drops that on Ford is wild to me.

Like, this is the same guy who, according to the Axolotl, yearns for his old dimension but denies to himself that he deeply regrets destroying it. Bill hates showing vulnerability. He hates even acknowledging it. He only cares for vulnerability if it comes from other people for him to exploit!

So him telling Ford that his dimension was awful and he was genuinely miserable there is huge. Not just him telling Ford that, but also just the expression? The tone? This is the most sincere Bill has ever been throughout the show and possibly the most sincere he's been in decades, centuries, millennia, God knows. Even if it's still filtered through a lie he's been telling himself for most of his life.

And yeah obviously, Bill was desperate and needed Ford to help him at this point but I think it would've been "easier" for Bill to just. Maybe try and solve the barrier problem himself. Ford figured it out, so surely Bill can at least try instead of, Idk, laying his heart out to the person who has dedicated his life to killing him.

I think Bill tried to make Ford relate to him in this scene for the sake of getting him to join but also maybe, just maybe, Bill craved connection? Dude's a lot more sentimental than he seems and lets on and spending an eternity only befriending people who you'll put below yourself after killing everyone you've ever known has got to get lonely.

Not that I think Bill truly saw ford as an equal, Absolutely Not, but I think Bill saw in Ford someone who could understand him. Someone who, at least for a short time, just simply enjoyed and appreciated his company as a friend. Maybe even a more naive version of Bill himself who hasn't yet realized what's good for him, which is really ironic because Ford is the one ended up stirring his life into a positive direction where he can be truly happy again, while Bill revels in his own misery.

Well. So much about this eleven second long scene I think about way too hard 👍

Bill then goes into his whole tangent about just trying to free the dimension of restrictions and making it into a fun and better world which is reflected in the Journal 3 messages from earlier and ends up on this:

Because this is what Bill believes to be Ford's ideal. He wants knowledge and admiration? Why here you go! Surely there's no reason Ford wouldn't agree to helping Bill now, right?? He's offering him everything he could ever want! He'd be part of his group! Everyone gets what they want!

And again, yeah Bill could've just made things up and immediately tossed Ford to the side as soon as he would've given him the equation to break the barrier, but that little scene where he talks to Ford about his old home dimension just. Really drives it home for me that he does in some way truly sees Ford as his friend. Y'know, on top of literally everything else I talked about here.

EDIT: Like the fool I am, I forgot to bring up a point about Bill keeping Ford alive during Weirdmageddon despite Ford posing a huge threat to him which is odd but uuh just read this, it pretty much covers it.

#oops its just another post about how the triangle has issues #gf #bill tag #ford tag #do i put this in the tags. sure why not #gravity falls #bill cipher

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kiwinatorwaffles · 1 year

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hermitcraft x gravity falls crack au where ford lands in hermitcraft season 9 during the king ren arc and realizes there are much more freaks out there than hes ever expected

grian would be like yeah man we're holding a resistance against the king (who is probably possessed tbh imo ngl) because he kept stealing all our money and he told me i couldnt scam people into doing quests anymore. anyway i see that magnet gun you have there. wanna break down this iron door for me? and that just solidifies ford's resolve to not let bill enter his universe because crazy stuff like this could happen to his home

the hermits introduce ford to their own trio of scientists while the royal court is swapping out emeralds in the background and ford instantly interrogates doc about what kind of creature he is and when doc revels that he's a creeper ("get away from me man i could explode you right now") ford just starts asking even nerdier questions about a creeper's anatomy

dont even get me STARTED on minecraft gravity physics. a hermit would break a wood block to make a torch and ford would be like FASCINATING........ the tree stays upright no matter how much you break of it.... and only when the leaves are no longer attached to wood do they break! the gravity in this dimension must be special! i must figure out what is causing this anomaly! and everyones like yup thats a nerd alright

ford ends up thinking the hc dimension is full of strange people just like him but it turns out hermitcraft is just a high concentration of insane guys that do not reflect the rest of their world at all. regardless they invite him to take down the royal court and he has a blast doing so

edit: the fic has been realized

#ill probably end up drawing/writing something for this because this is too funny #literally just an hour earlier i was like ughhh i could never write gf fic i dont have any good ideas #WELL NOW THE IDEAS ARE HERE #kiwi’s calls #hermitcraft #gravity falls #orchard’s library #crossover content: brought to you by kiwinator

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fablesrose · 3 months

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Ch 11 - The Ice Man Job

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Pairing: Eliot Spencer x Ford!Reader

Description: With Sophie gone to find herself, the crew is out a grifter. This leads to Hardison getting a little cocky when clearing their client's name from a diamond theft.

Words: 7077

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The room felt a bit empty with Sophie gone; I could tell Parker felt the same as she shifted across the couch, trying to fill the space during the briefing. Hardison stood at the front of the room telling us about Jim Kerrity who was in charge of Kerrity Diamonds. In his four years of being in charge, he’s run the business into the ground by living beyond his means with addictions and party expenditures.

Eventually Hardison was getting annoyed with Parker’s shifting, “What? Why? What are you doing?” He asked her.

“What?” She replied.

“It’s distracting,” Eliot exclaimed.

“The couch is feeling a little empty,” she explained, her voice a little distressed.

“Eliot, sit next to Parker,” Nate said.

“No, I’m sitting here!”

I turned to Parker from my curled up position on the edge, “I can try to spread out a bit, would that help?”

Her face scrunched in a frown, trying to think.

“Guys, guys,” Nate interjected, “We all miss Sophie, I… We just have to adapt.”

“I got this,” Hardison said, walking towards Parker, “Move, go. Bye, go.” He motioned for her to scootch to the center of the couch and sat next to her. “You happy?” He asked, only continuing in the briefing once she nodded.

“Kerrity’s finances are a mess. Maxed out, maxed out, overdrawn,” Hardison explained. “According to the insurance claim, he stands to gain nine million from the armored car robbery.”

“A guy like this gets in over his head and the insurance policy starts to look attractive,” Nate summed up.

“Hires a couple of thugs, knocks off his own truck,” Eliot said.

“It’s a sweet payout, too,” Hardison admitted. “He gets the insurance claim, plus he still has the diamonds.”

“Mmhmm, and honest people like Joey take the heat,” Eliot finished.

“The thing about this that people don’t understand is insurance fraud, it’s a lot of red tape,” Nate explained, “and with a big claim like this it’ll take a year before Kerrity sees any money. Bill collectors are not gonna wait around.”

“He’s gotta fence the diamonds,” Eliot said.

“He can’t,” Parker stated.

“What?” I asked, everything moving a bit fast.

“His diamonds are GIA certified VVS clarity, all about two carats,” Parker rattles off, stealing the remote from Hardison.

“That’s my clicker,” Hardison pointed out, annoyed.

“Who stole the Polar Star?” Parker asked, raising her hand, “Who stole the Gem of Gibraltar? Damiani Raid? Me. I know diamonds, and our bad guy can’t fence those diamonds because stones that size have an ID number laser-inscribed on them.”

The screen zoomed in on a diamond to show this tiny ID number etched into the side, proving her point.

“Like a stolen car. You’ve gotta clean the VIN before you sell ‘em,” Eliot concluded.

“How do you get that ID off?” I asked.

“With a special laser,” Parker answered, “But only three guys can do it. Antwerp, Dubai, Tel Aviv.”

“And as of right now, Boston. Right?” Nate said, standing in front of us. “Kerrity has to move his diamonds, so we convince him that we’re the only people who can make them clean enough to move.”

“Get them to bring the diamonds to us,” Hardison said.

“And when he shows up, uh…” Nate paused, “Oh, Hardison, can you put the crime scene photos…?”

Hardison took the clicker remote back from Parker and put the photos up. The photo showed our client, Joey, sitting in the armored truck with a paramedic tending to his wounded shoulder. There was a man standing to the side talking to him, a notebook in hand.

“State police guy, Lieutenant Bonanno,” Eliot introduced the man.

“Yeah. So we drop Kerrity on his lap with the stolen diamonds,” Nate explained, “Lieutenant Bonanno drops the hammer. Our guy gets cleared, gets his job back.”

“Pardon me, but I don’t mean to stop the fun train,” Eliot interjected. “We’re out a grifter here.”

“I know who we can call,” Parker volunteered.

“Now, we’re not gonna call Sophie,” Nate disagreed. “No, she has asked for space, and we’re gonna honor that. No. Hardison, Y/n, you are gonna be our grifters.”

Hardison leaned forward with a smile, “I’m listening.”

“What? No.” Eliot shook his head in disbelief.

“Is it too late for me to pretend like I don’t know about,” I waved my hands around the room, “this whole operation?”

“Yes,” Nate answered me and Eliot at the same time, “Parker, you’ll be the roper.”

“What?” She asked puzzledly.

“Cute dress, heels, you’ll be fine.”

“Sure, I’ll be fine,” Parker whispered to herself.

I looked at her and could feel the anxiety rolling off of her. I nudged her shoulder to catch her attention. Once she looked at me, I nodded reassuringly at her, “We’ll be okay, we’ll figure it out. You’re not alone, we’ll help each other.”

She nodded a bit more firmly, but I could tell she was still anxious.

“Eliot, you’ll be the muscle,” Nate continued.

A little while later, I found Parker hiding under the counter, talking to someone on the phone. I stood in the kitchen, quietly listening. It didn’t take long to figure out that she was talking to Sophie as Parker explained the situation to her.

“I will not be fine,” she exclaimed, “I stabbed that guy with a fork!”

Well, I didn’t know that little detail.

“Parker, Parker, relax” Sophie soothed, her voice softly coming through the phone, just loud enough for me to hear. “It’s fine. Listen. Go to Nate’s storage cupboard and you're gonna find a sexy little mini-dress and my emergency Jimmy Choos.”

“Jimmy who? You have a body in Nate’s closet?”

“Shoes, Parker. Didn’t I teach you any...? Alright listen, this is the important bit. Do you still have the Rosalind Diamond you stole in Perth?”

“Yes,” she answered.

I huffed out a breath, I really shouldn’t be surprised.

“Wear it. The diamond will speak for you. You won’t have to say a word,” Sophie said. “This is the key to the grift. You just trust the character. Say nothing. Trust the diamond.”

“I can do that,” Parker relented. “Don’t tell Nate I called.”

“I won’t,” she reassured.

Parker caught my eye as she crawled out from under the counter. I motioned that my lips were sealed which helped her relax a little bit. Now to see if Sophie’s advice proved successful.

Parker was able to keep her cool and lead Kerrity to the back of the bar where Hardison, Eliot, and I were waiting, playing pool.

“No,” Hardison slammed his cue on the table once he saw them turning the corner. “Come here, what have I said? What have I said about new people, huh?”

I raised my eyebrow at Eliot at Hardison’s attitude and accent. He just rolled his eyes in response before he slammed Kerrity into the pool table.

“Hey, it's okay,” Parker said, “This guy works in diamonds. He wants to talk business or something.”

“Alright,” Hardison relented. “Lay the arms down brother. He’s cool.”

Eliot let him up with a shove.

“You’ll have to excuse my bodyguard. He’s touchy. It’s ‘cuz he’s a mute. Alright?”

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at Eliot’s pissed off expression.

“Yeah, well, my bodyguards don’t talk much either,” Kerrity responded, as three intimidating looking men entered the area.

“Well, looks like we found our armored car robbers,” Nate said through comms.

I hummed quietly, noting the conclusion.

Some dominance had to be established, some control. Hardison and Eliot saw it too, and after a look was shared, Eliot got one of the so-called ‘bodyguards’ into an arm lock behind his back, using him as a shield when another guard had drawn a gun.

“Going to shoot through your own man?” I asked the one with the gun. He had a look in his eye that said he was seriously considering it.

His eyes flicked to me, a look of recognition noting that I was in play. “To be honest with you, I never liked him,” he said in a noticeable Russian accent.

“Legit,” Hardison said. “Goon squad and all, isn’t it? Stand down.”

There was a tense beat before the Russian lowered his weapon. I stepped around the pool table and placed a hand on Eliot’s shoulder right as he released the man he was holding. My hand slid off as I stepped past him, perching myself on the table, placing myself more front and center.

“Jim Kerrity,” he introduced himself.

“You’re Jim Kerrity? Kerrity Diamonds?” Hardison asked. “Brother, you got it all last week.”

“The heist. Yes, that was me.”

“So, did you use these fellas here, or hire out?” I asked, making a show of examining my nails. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Eliot had closed the gap, ready to step in front of me if necessary.

“We’re in the business, Jimmy boy. I can smell an inside job,” Hardison explained.

“So what do you do in the business, Mr…?”

“I’m a thief.They call me… The Ice Man,” Hardison said with a smug smile.

I rolled my eyes just as Nate repeated the name questioningly.

“No, Hardison, you have to have a light touch. Undersell,” Nate said.

“What kind of thief calls themselves a thief?” Kerrity asked.

“An arrogant one,” I responded. I offered my hand to Kerrity, which he took just the fingers, and turned it with a slight bow of his head.

“Doesn’t matter, I have the reputation to prove it,” Hardison rebutted, annoyedly. “This is my assistant-”

“Annaka,” I cut in, “and I prefer ‘his more subtle associate.’”

Kerrity smiled, looking me up and down, “I don’t suppose you have a boyfriend, do you?”

Eliot took a half step forward, giving Kerrity the hint to back up. I simply gave him a tight smile, not answering his question. I did dress up a little bit, a blouse and nice pants. I wanted to look nice, but professional. The fact that he still felt the need to comment and shoot his shot made my skin crawl a bit.

“I’m sure you’ve seen my work in Perth. The Polar Star? Nicked it.The Gem of Gibraltar? Nicked it,” Hardison bragged, which pulled the attention back to himself.

I looked to Parker who started to pace behind him as he continued to use her thefts for his reputation.

“Then I shouldn’t be seen talking to you,” Kerrity concluded.

“Right, right, right. Cause two criminals can’t talk business while shootin’ pool. Bitch of it is nickin’ ‘em’s butter…” Hardison trailed off.

“Moving them is the issue,” I finished, “I’m sure you know something about that.”

“Yes, especially with those inscribed ID numbers,” Kerrity agreed.

“There are ways around that,” I commented.

“I got this laser, see,” Hardison continued, “Only one in the country, mind you. This thing, I had to bring over piece by soddin’ piece from Turkmenistan. It can scrub and ID clean off any diamond. Re-virginized.”

“And what kind of fee do you charge for such a service?” Kerrity asked.

“Thirty percent,” Hardison answered.

“Five percent.”

“Thirty percent,” Hardison reiterated.

“No way in hell.”

“That’s the discounted rate, brother. Cause anything lower than that is an insulted rate, cause it's an insult to me, savvy?”

I jumped in to even out the tension, “You said it yourself, Kerrity, it’s a very specialized service. If you can somehow transport your diamonds elsewhere, get someone else to do it, be our guest.” I slid off the pool table and returned to my spot on the end, grabbing my pool cue, “I will say, good luck executing that, let alone getting a better rate.” I began to rechalk my cue, not trusting myself to take a shot just yet.

“You, uh, you ring me when you wisen up, hear?” Hardison said, writing his phone number on a napkin.

Kerrity looked at the napkin for a moment before throwing it on the table, “Thanks, but no thanks, brother.” He swiftly walked away.

The Russian walked up and grabbed the napkin carefully before walking away, following Kerrity.

I let out a sigh in relief once they were gone. I finally leaned down and took a shot, hissing when the ball glanced off a corner, just out of the pocket.

“Close,” Eliot commented before taking his own shot, sinking it easily, and moving on to the next one.

“Why do I even bother?” I asked myself.

Eliot stepped up next to me, “You’ve gotta start somewhere, we’ll just have to practice more in the pub.”

“Hey,” Hardison cut in, “You can’t talk, remember?”

“Dammit, Hardison!” Eliot exclaimed, continuing to shoot pool, finishing the game quickly. He continued to berate him saying that it was stupid.

As he shot each ball in, one after the other, I couldn’t help but focus on how he’d said that we should practice. The fact he wanted to do it together warmed my heart a little bit. As I started to imagine it, I couldn’t stop the image of Eliot looking at Mikel from the last job popping into my head. The image of Eliot’s blush when Mikel brought out handcuffs flashed before I fought it down. It shouldn’t have bothered me, it was none of my business. We were coworkers, friends at best. Still, I could enjoy the feelings he gave me and the moments we had together.

Once Eliot sunk his last shot, he left the bar. I helped clean up before the rest of us followed him.’

“Ice Man?” Eliot asked Hardison once we got back to Nate’s apartment.

“Hey, I put a lot of work into that character,” Hardison defended. “No, no, no, I bought new clothes, ugly as hell, too.”

“You got that right,” I whispered to Parker and she smiled at me.

“This always happens when you go on the grift, Hardison,” Eliot said, “you go way too big.”

“You have to have some subtlety,” I commented.

“Yeah, Sophie told me to say as little as possible,” Parker explained, “let the character do the work.”

“When did, uh, Sophie say that?” Nate asked, walking down the stairs into the common area of the apartment.

“A long time ago,” Parker said quickly, “maybe last Christmas. I don’t even think it was Sophie.”

Nate wasn’t quite convinced, but moved on anyway, straightening his tie, “I’m gonna go put more pressure on Kerrity. I want you guys to be on the clear-out. Ice Man, play it cool. That’s just an awful, awful name.”

“Genius,” Hardison tried to correct in his character’s accent.

“See?” Eliot said. “When you get in too deep on this, I ain’t bailin’ your ass out.”

“I don’t need you to bail me out. I’m the Ice Man.”

“Not. Gonna. Help.” Eliot emphasized again.

I laughed at their expressions, clearly annoyed at each other. “Well, what’s done is done. Let’s just hope we can still pull this off. Even with Hardison’s accent,” I continued to laugh at myself as I retreated to my apartment.

It didn’t take long after Nate put some pressure on Kerrity as an insurance guy that Kerrity called Hardison to set up a meeting to see the laser at work. Parker, Eliot, and I drove to the lab where we were going to ‘borrow’ a laser.

Once we pulled up, Eliot was on the phone with someone, but Parker and I could only hear his side of the conversation: “I know. He’s driving me crazy. How, huh? I’m back up, they can’t rely on me. Alright, alright. Hey… thanks. Don’t tell Nate I called.”

“Who was that?” Parker asked.

Eliot hesitated, “Cable company.”

Parker and I shared a look before I handed her the duffle bag from Eliot’s truck bed and sent them into the lab. Parker and Eliot went in and cleared out the lab with a chemical exposure evacuation, leaving it empty for our purposes. They set up a camera so Nate could see what was going on, and got ready for Kerrity’s arrival.

I stayed in the parking lot waiting for Kerrity to pull in. I timed my approach into the building to run into him and walk him into the lab.

“Mr. Kerrity, so glad you could make it,” I said, meeting him just before the door.

He opened the door for me, “Pleasure is mine, Ms. Annaka.”

I led him and the Russian he brought with him through the hallways to the lab where Parker and Eliot were waiting.

“Where is Mr. Ice?” Kerrity asked once we stepped inside.

“He’s late,” Parker responded, “He’s always late.”

There was a roar of an engine outside. We all glanced out and watched as Hardison pulled up in a red Ferrari.

“Hmm. Subtle,” Kerrity commented.

“While he walks in,” I said, “May I see the stone?”

Kerrity presented the diamond, “Two carats. Very few flaws, my salesman said.”

I pulled out a jewelry loupe, a type of mini magnifying glass, that I picked up somewhere and examined the stone. I found the ID number, though it was still too small to quite read it. I commented that I found it and examined the body of the stone. I had little to no idea what I was looking for, but I figured he didn’t either.

I finally looked up at him, “It’s a good stone, Mr. Kerrity. It should do nicely.”

Just as I had said so, Hardison walked into the lab with smug grandeur, “The Ice Man cometh.” He gestured to the machine on the table, “Let me introduce you to my laser, Glinda. You see, I found that laser fluences below the diamond graphitization threshold are most effective. Wouldn’t you say?”

Eliot and I made eye contact and shook our heads when Kerrity and the Russian weren’t looking. He was doing too much.

“Yeah,” Kerrity hesitantly agreed. Clearly not knowing what the heck he said, like the rest of us.

“The diamond?” Hardison asked.

Kerrity gestured to me as I handed the stone over to Hardison. I was tempted to make an ‘oops, I lost it’ joke, but knew that wasn’t wise, for both the tension and the character.

Hardison examined it, “She’s a beaut. Sheila, get me a pop.” He didn’t even look at Parker when he asked which I could tell she didn’t appreciate, even through her hard neutral expression.

“Because this will be classified IF, an internally flawless two-carat round cut diamond, it should be easy to oblate,” Hardison continued, placing the diamond in place for the laser.

Parker was out grabbing a cubic zirconia from a neighboring lab to replace the diamond while grabbing that pop.

“How is this gonna fool him?” She asked Nate.

“He’s not looking at the diamond, he’s looking at the ID number,” he responded.

“ID numbers are etched at a depth between five and seven microns,” Hardison explained while the laser ran around the diamond. “Using nanoblation, the UV laser pulses irradiate the etching.”

Parker walked in then with an open can of pop and handed it to Hardison.

“Thank you, sweets.”

Kerrity turned to me, “I haven’t seen you contribute much to this partnership.”

I smiled softly, nodding towards Hardison, “He likes to show off in front of new clients, I don’t mind being more behind the scenes.”

He hummed curiously before turning back to Hardison who was taking the diamond out of the machine. I saw Hardison’s switch of the diamond for the cubic zirconia, only because I was looking for it. He handed the fake stone over to Kerrity to examine. Kerrity took it and looked it over with his own loupe.

There was a tense moment when Kerrity looked at Hardison before he said, “It’s like it was never there.”

“I could do the rest in a day, but I’m only here for another week. I’ve got a thing in Antwerp.”

“Alright,” Kerrity said, “let’s, uh, let’s do it tomorrow?”

“Done.”

“Excellent. Mr. Ice, Ms. Annaka.” Kerrity then left the lab with his Russian companion close behind.

“Alright, nice work guys,” Nate said through comms. “Tomorrow, when he shows up with the diamonds, the state police will be there.”

“Why, so they can arrest Hardison’s ego?” Eliot asked as we exited the building.

“They better bring some extra large handcuffs,” I laughed.

“Be cool, baby. Ice cool,” Hardison replied. “Hey, who wants to go for a spin?”

“Can’t believe you rented a Ferrari,” Eliot said.

“Rented?”

“I’ll get a ride home with Eliot,” Parker said.

“Maybe some other time, Hardison,” I responded, “I’m kinda tired, gonna lay down in Eliot’s back seat.”

Hardison scoffed, “Y’all are just jealous,” but we were already crossing the parking lot.

I did just what I said I was going to when I crawled in the back seat, leaving Parker and Eliot up front. I had to curl up a bit, but it was decently comfortable on the worn seat, making it soft.

“Hey, you alright?” Eliot asked once he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Yeah, I think I was just stressed, and now that this is almost over-” I yawned, “I’m just a bit tired is all.”

Eliot adjusted his rear view mirror a touch so he could make eye contact with me through it, “Well, ya did good. You deserve some rest.” I could feel the sincerity, even through the mirror and sunglasses he was wearing. I smiled and nodded at him, silently thanking him.

Parker then turned and reached a hand towards me which I took with a squeeze, “Yeah, look at us, being grifters. I didn’t even stab anyone!”

“I’m proud of us, Parker,” I said, squeezing her hand one more time before taking my hand back and curling it next to me. My eyes then closed of their own accord, the steady hum of the engine lulling me, if not asleep, away from active wakefulness.

Eventually we got back to the pub and Nate and I’s apartments. I slightly stirred when Eliot turned his truck off, but I couldn’t quite wake myself up until he placed a hand on my shoulder, calling my name. His hand was warm, the gentle movement slowly pulled me out of the slumber I had slipped into. I admit I was slow to move, but Eliot and Parker were patient with me until I got to my door. I trudged through my entry way to my couch, my limbs were heavy, as if I had been physically working all day for the past week. I must have been tense, holding all the stress in my body, for the past two days, trying to be natural and convince Kerrity of our legitimateness.

Oh the irony.

I collapsed on the cushions, letting out a sigh in relief. If all went to plan, tomorrow I wouldn’t even have to play a character. It would all be in the police’s hands then.

It didn’t seem like I was out for very long when Parker was standing above me, practically dragging me off my couch.

“Did I forget to lock my door?” I asked, still waking up.

“No,” she responded simply.

“What’s going on?”

“Hardison got kidnapped by the Russians.”

“Oh.”

We walked through the door to find Eliot angrily shoving an earbud in place, “Tell Hardison if he makes it out alive, I’m gonna snap him in half.”

“Uh, Eliot says hi,” Nate said, apparently into the comms to Hardison. “So what’s the plan there, Ice Man?”

I pulled my own earbud from my pocket and put it in, just in time to hear Hardison explain it, somewhat tactfully in the midst of… company.

“Just so I’m clear, you want me to help break into Kerrity’s vault and steal his diamonds?”

“Oh, beautiful,” Nate commented.

“So, what you’re sayin’ is we’re gonna explode through the ceiling of a tunnel, use a det cord and climb into the vault through the floor?”

“Det cord,” Eliot honed in. “That’s how they blew the armored truck.”

“Exploding through the floor will set the sensor off,” Parker said. “Tunnel’s a terrible way in.”

“Hardison, you’re gonna tell ‘em their plan won’t work,” Nate said.

“Tunnel is a horrible way in,” Parker reemphasized.

“I heard you Parker.”

We listened as Hardison relayed the news, which didn’t seem to go over well with the Russians to the point where Hardison had to commit to getting them in the vault.

“Oh, yes. Of course you will,” Nate said, “Now listen. Hardison, you’re gonna have to figure out a way to buy some time so we can get you outta this. Yeah, get busy.” Nate then took his earpiece out with frustration.

Nate was typing on Hardison’s computer for a little bit before he eventually said, “Guys, guys, I can’t make any sense of Hardison’s files.”

I gestured to it, pulling the computer a bit closer to me, sorting through files to see if there was anything I recognized.

“Do you think you can…?” Nate asked me.

I shook my head, “No idea, probably not.” I had helped Hardison out with some of his technical stuff a time or two, but he did most of the heavy lifting.

“You can’t track him,” Eliot pointed out, “he’s the one that does the tracking.”

“Well maybe he left it on,” Nate hoped.

“Unlikely,” I said, sorting through more files, all of them encrypted.

“What if we tell him to make a run for it?” Parker suggested.

“They’ll kill him,” Eliot answered.

“Well, if he goes along with their plan, they’ll get arrested,” Parker pointed out.

“We gotta find another way for Hardison to break in,” Nate concluded.

“We need a closer look at the vault,” Parker said.

“I’m working on it,” Nate said.

Parker held a small can to us, “Hairspray, you’ll need this.”

“Let me ask you a question, man,” Eliot said. “If Hardison helps these Russians steal the evidence, how are we gonna prove Kerrity set up the robbery?”

“I’m working on it,” Nate stuttered. He gathered his clipboard and papers needed for his insurance agent persona. Parker handed him the can of hairspray; Nate took it and waved at us, “Do not call Sophie.” Nate then dashed out of the apartment, supposedly to Kerrity’s shop.

I worked for a little bit longer on Hardison’s laptop, trying to find anything that could help, but every time I thought I was close to cracking into something useful, I hit a dead end. I sighed, I would have to have Hardison teach me some of this stuff with his systems in case something like this happened again. When I was just about to give up, Nate got to Kerrity’s shop, and a notification popped up that a connected camera was in use. I cast the video onto the large screen in the living room so we could see what he was doing.

Nate had a camera pen directed at Kerrity’s vault to gain more information, mostly for Parker, and for Hardison to relay to the Russians to pretend he knew what he was doing.

“RGB keypad, let me see,” Parker said, “Move the camera to the left… No, vault left. Alright, then you have to do this my way. Remove the sensor while keeping the magnetic field intact. You are going to need a four inch by four inch aluminum plate, double sided tape, and a phillips head screwdriver.”

I slumped into the couch, watching Parker analyze the vault and listening to Hardison relay the information to the Russians. Eliot stood next to Parker, his focus as sharp as ever. The truth of the matter was, everyone here knew at least something that might help Hardison, but I was still stuck dead in the water. I watched, trying to learn.

Kerrity kept listing more safety features inside the vault: pressure sensitive tiles, two cameras monitored by a twenty four hour guard and Kerrity himself, seismic sensor, heat sensors, and motion sensors. This was becoming more and more difficult by the minute.

“Hardison’s not gonna be able to do anything if the heat sensors are on,” Eliot said.

“Nate, use the hairspray,” Parker instructed. “It creates a film that blocks the heat.”

Nate distracted Kerrity long enough to follow through. Then Kerrity told Nate about the security fog that fills the room after the alarm goes off; this fog makes visibility zero. To make matters worse, it would be triggered by any one of the other sensors.

“How bad is it?” Nate asked quietly once Kerrity was out of earshot.

“There’s no way Hardison’s gonna be able to break into that vault,” Parker said matter-of-factly.

“What is Hardison going to do?” Hardison asked, without the accent, so he must be away from the Russians.

“Hardison is going to pretend to break into the vault,” Nate said.

“Well, hopefully the Russians will only pretend to kill him,” Eliot replied.

“No one’s getting killed,” Nate assured. “We’re gonna break in for him.”

The three of us just sat staring at each other, lost in our own thoughts, waiting for Nate to get back to explain what he was thinking. I could see the wheels turning in Parker’s head, going through all the steps to break into the vault. Eliot had a tenseness about him, whether that be anger or concern, I couldn’t tell.

“We’re gonna do this quick and dirty,” Nate said once he got back. “You guys break into the vault before Hardison does, so the Russians think that he’s doing it.”

“Why not?” Parker said. “He’s been taking credit for my work all day anyway.”

“Then Hardison will lead the Russians into the vault a few paces behind him,” Nate concluded.

“Hey, I got something,” Parker said after messing with Hardison’s clicker. The screen showed the security camera feed to the front of Kerrity’s store. Kerrity was showing a fancily dressed woman around his store along with all of the jewelry in the cases.

“Hardison must have hacked into the security feed before he left,” Eliot said.

“Well, well. I’m just gonna have to keep Kerrity out of his own vault,” Nate said, staring at the screen.

We all then loaded up to go save Hardison.

Once we arrived, Nate knocked on the door of the shop first. Kerrity quickly dismissed the woman with him, saying that he would meet up with her later, and let Nate in.

“This had better be important,” Kerrity said when he opened the door.

“Yeah. Can we talk somewhere private?” Nate asked, stepping into the shop.

I then walked in, just catching the door before they went to his back office.

Kerrity was surprised to see me, “Annaka?”

I smiled, obviously flicking my eyes between him and Nate. “Hello, Mr. Kerrity,” I said cautiously.

He caught the hint, “This is Mr. Sterling with the insurance company, he came to discuss something with me.”

“I hope I’m not hindering something here,” Nate said as he shook my hand with a sickly sweet salesman voice that he’s been using.

I shook my head, “Not at all.” I looked to Kerrity, “I don’t mind waiting, finish your business with Mr. Sterling.”

He nodded and brought Nate into his office.

Eliot was at the door just as they turned the corner in an armored truck company uniform with a cart. The guard buzzed him in just as I got to the door to open it for him. The guard came down with some paperwork for Eliot, assuming he was there for delivery.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he whispered to me as I held the door open for him to walk through more easily. He then turned to the guard, “Yo, yo. Late night man. Is there a register I’m supposed to look at?” Eliot was there at the dest with the guard by then and quickly knocked him out. “Sorry, buddy,” he said as he walked by.

I walked to Eliot and the guard, helping tuck him out of sight and out of the way for the rest of the night.

“Okay Parker, you’re clear,” Eliot told her through comms, “come on down.”

She had perched herself on a ledge next to the security camera facing the street, holding a photo of an armored truck on the street for the guard’s benefit. I could almost feel her joy as she came down with her rig. I quickly let her in so she could get to the vault. I then stationed myself in the security room watching the cameras. I was out of sight and out of the way for the essential gears of the operation, but still in the shop if I needed to lend a hand somewhere, namely keeping Kerrity busy.

Nate was talking to Kerrity about his insurance policy and discrepancies that may deny his claim, trying to keep him occupied for as long as he could. So far, he was successful. Hopefully he could keep it up.

Meanwhile, Parker was working on the vault, getting it cracked and ready for Hardison.

“This will hold them together,” she said softly as she placed the aluminum plates on the vault.

“Electric’s faster,” Eliot said as he handed her a screwdriver.

“Vibrations will set off the seismic sensor,” she replied simply.

Eliot shook his head and returned to the front of the store.

Parker continued to work on the vault with quick efficiency. It was interesting to watch through the camera as there was no hesitation in any of her movements.

It didn’t take as long as I had hoped for movement on the outside camera to catch my attention. A big black van pulled up in front with Hardison and the Russians hopping out of it.

“Here they come,” I said.

Hardison reiterated it with his own quiet announcement, “Eliot, approaching the building. Approaching the building.” He then switched to his accent for the Russians, “Wait here, right? Gotta handle the initial break-in myself. Too many cooks and all.”

Eliot buzzed Hardison in when he banged on the door. They then proceeded to act out Hardison beating up Eliot. I winced, but was impressed at how realistic it looked when Eliot threw himself to the ground. Hardison continued to ‘punch’ Eliot for an extended amount of time while the two argued.

“Next time,” Eliot said, “I’m playing the thief!”

“I’d like to hear you do an accent,” Hardison said.

“I’d like to hear you do an accent,” Eliot replied.

“I went to Second City in Chicago.”

“You find time between that and karate at the Y?”

“You know what? Just shut up. Shut up.”

“Shut up, guys,” Parker said calmly, trying to concentrate on the vault.

She was able to get in when Hardison and Eliot finished their act, Eliot acting unconscious and Hardison letting in the Russians. Nate continued to distract Kerrity, shifting to his second point, the bribe. So far, so good.

Eliot joined me in the security room and watched as Parker hung on the inside of the door and leapt to a bar or pipe on the ceiling, preventing her from touching the floor and triggering the pressure tiles.

“Stuck it,” Eliot commented in praise.

“Indeed,” I agreed, impressed.

Hardison made his way to the vault, making a bit of a show of taking steps to crack the vault. He put a stethoscope to the vault door to ‘pick’ the vault combo.

“Parker wrote the combination in invisible ink on the door next to you,” Eliot told Hardison. “She’s in there, but she hasn’t deactivated the floor yet.”

“So take your time on the tumblers. Take it slow,” I said.

He was able to delay a bit by talking to the Russians. “Sorry?” He asked when the leader spoke up.

“I said you’re really everything you claimed,” the Russian repeated.

Hardison shrugged, “If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.”

“Yes, you are. Yes, you are,” the Russian laughed. “I’m sorry, just a saying. English, very tricky.”

Hardison went back to the tumblers.

“Hardison, slow down. You’re breezing through that combo, like, way too fast,” Eliot said. “Parker, what’s your ETA?”

“Not ready yet. Floor is still hot,” she replied.

Eliot and I shared a concerned look.

“Nate, our timing’s not gonna work out,” Eliot said.

Nate, of course, couldn’t answer as he was still keeping Kerrity busy. That was quickly reaching its end though as Kerrity wasn’t taking the bribing narrative that Nate was selling.

“Parker, get a move on. Nate and Hardison are way ahead of you,” Eliot said.

“The floor is clear.”

“Nate, Parker is still in the vault.”

The Russians were pressing Hardison to get in the vault, and he wasn’t doing a very good job of stalling.

“I need sixty seconds,” Parker said.

“Well, can you turn invisible in sixty seconds? Cause they’re bustin’ in there,” Eliot replied.

“I’m gonna go slow Hardison down, buy her some time,” I said, walking out of the security room.

“Y/n-” Eliot tried to say, but I was already gone.

I walked the hallway towards the vault until the Russians and Hardison came into view. Hardison was just about to open the door when I called, “Ice!”

The four of them turned to me, the Russians clearly not happy. I suddenly took a hard swallow, I might not have thought this through.

“Annaka? What are you doin’ here?” Hardison asked, looking a bit relieved at the distraction.

“You think I wouldn’t find you? We had a plan when it came to situations such as these, you are undermining your reputation from a business perspective! Who is going to work with us now if you just keep stealing their stuff?” I said it all quickly and with exasperation. I could hear my own nervousness, and I hoped that the distance I kept between myself and the Russians wasn’t too suspicious.

“I’m sorry, hun,” Hardison said, “But this was an offer I couldn’t refuse, I’m afraid.”

“Yes,” the Russian said, “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a job to do.”

They turned back towards the door and away from me.

“Parker?” I whispered, not sure how else to hold them.

“I’m clear,” she said.

“Fine!” I said to the men in front of me, ready to make my leave, “But I want nothing to do with it!” I then turned on my heel and left the room, hearing the vault open behind me.

I heard Hardison say, “Don’t worry ‘bout her. She won’t do nothin’. Let’s get this done.”

I went back to the security room where Eliot was watching the security feeds tensely. “How’s it going?” I asked once I stood next to him.

“Fine, thanks to you,” he said, “But that was reckless. Those Russians could have done somethin’ to you, could have killed you.”

I let out a shaky breath, “Yeah, I realized that once I got there.”

Our work here was done, so Eliot and I made our way out of the shop into the tunnel below for the final escape.

“Guys, uh, Kerrity is on his way down there,” Nate said when he wasn’t able to hold him in his office any longer.

Hardison was able to distract the Russians with Kerrity’s arrival long enough for Hardison to slip into Parker’s hiding spot, one of the large lock boxes. Parker blew a hole in the floor, dropping the two of them into the tunnel below where Eliot and I were waiting. This, coincidentally, also set off the seismic sensor and the security system. Who knew?

“Det cord,” Eliot explained simply to Hardison as we helped them up from the floor.

We then made our way out of the tunnel to fresh air and freedom. Nate was waiting for us at the end of it.

“Thought we couldn’t use this tunnel,” Hardison said once we were out.

“Tunnel’s a horrible way in,” Nate replied, “but it’s a great way out.”

Once we were back, we reviewed what happened through the video feed Hardison had hacked. Hardison left the lock box with the diamonds tactfully open for when the police came to respond to the tripped alarm. This helped Lieutenant Bonanno find them; and with Kerrity reporting that his loose diamonds were stolen, this might as well have been an open and shut case. The matching ID numbers would just be the nails in the coffin.

We were able to clear our client’s name and score him some cash from the swiped diamond we got after lasering off the ID number. As usual, this called for a celebration in the pub while Nate shared the good news with the client.

Parker, Eliot, Hardison, and I all sat at the corner of the bar, it becoming a usual spot. Hardison turned back to the bar laughing after seeing the happy look on our client’s face.

“What are you smilin’ at?” Eliot asked. “You still screwed it up.”

“I’m smiling cause you said if I got in trouble, you wouldn’t help me,” he responded.

“Parker made me,” Eliot excused.

“No, I didn’t,” she denied.

“Come on, man. Let’s hug it out,” Hardison said.

“I’m not hugging it out, Ice Man.”

“Just hug it… Just a little man love.”

“I’m not hugging it out with you.”

They went back and forth before Hardison forced himself onto Eliot in one of the most awkward hugs I’ve ever seen. Parker looked almost just as uncomfortable, but I just chuckled at them.

Eliot eventually freed himself from Hardison’s grasp and stepped away from the bar. He stepped over to where I sat and said to me, “I promised you some pool practice, do you wanna go?”

I nodded, smiling at Parker and Hardison before turning fully to Eliot, “Yeah, let’s go.” I slid off the stool, standing next to him for a moment.

He placed a hand on my shoulder and steered me towards the pool table at the back of the pub. His hand sent warmth through me, even as he was still grumbling about Hardison under his breath. I came to the conclusion that no matter how he looks at other women, Mikel, or anything else that may come up, I can still enjoy these moments with him. The moments where he’s comforting, protective, and now, when he just wants a bit of escape, and he could find that in me and playing pool, no matter my skill level.

It might mean a little to him, these little moments, but they meant something to me, and that is all that really mattered.

A/n: Reblogs and comments are welcome and encouraged! Thank you for reading!

Tags: @instantdinosaurtidalwave @kniselle @technikerin23 @kiwikitty13 @plasticbottleholder

#eliot spencer x reader #eliot spencer #leverage #rewrite #slow burn #multichapter #nate ford #sophie devereaux #alec hardison #parker #ford!reader

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ferretwhomst · 10 months

Text

gravity falls queer headcanons, just for funsies <3

i'm gonna put these under a readmore actually because Wow There Is A Lot More Shit Than I Expected. gaze upon my based ass gender and sexuality takes at yer own risk /j

Dipper i think the general consensus in the gf fandom is that he's transmasc. and as a trans guy i LOVE this hc!!!! but i Also love to see dipper portrayed as other trans identities. like... tgirl dipper is also a favorite of mine, she holds a very special place in my heart. nby or genderfluid dipper even!!! i could go on, but bottom line is he is whatever i want him to be at any given time <3 as for his sexuality? probably some flavor of acespec but he's personally unlabeled, previously questioning but i figure he eventually decided it's not worth his time trying to find a label that fits. he definitely likes people of all genders though

Mabel mabel is ABSOLUTELY the sorta person to aggressively hoard gender labels and pronouns like a crow collecting shiny things. crunch has ALL the gender and ALL the pronoun. in fact, sometimes it makes him kinda sad when someone who knows bee goes by all pronouns exclusively uses "she" for fluff (not that this happens often!!! a quick glare from the grunks and the offender is put in their place lol). she lovessss femininity and actively embraces it all the time but it's not ONLY a girl- xey id as an autigender xenocollector girlboy and also as pan and nebularomantic!!!! boom probably knits their flags into all cake's sweaters too >:D

Ford previously identified as a binary trans man, but after spending three decades in another dimension and interacting with different species with other perceptions of gender, they now id as transmasc nonbinary. he doesn't mind he/him or they/them but he also likes neopronouns! (better believe ford has neos in languages you've never even heard of!!!) especially space-themed or science-themed ones. him and mabel definitely get along over using neos btw. also rift is demiromantic, demisexual and gay :) he was overjoyed when they found out about the ace/aro spectrum- because for a long time they felt like the fact that they only seldom felt attraction meant something was wrong with sol.

Stan trans nonbinary man who isn't picky with labels. while him and ford are both transmasc and nonbinary, he has a VERY different experience with it than his brother- he's very much a man, except she also likes to be a woman sometimes just for fun. stan probably spent a lot of time in his youth trying to be hypermasculine so he could pass better and fit in but now he Doesn't Care and just has fun confusing people by being a grumpy old guy who's also a lady sometimes. prefers he/him but genuinely doesn't care if people use other pronouns for her. also my man is bisexual as FUCK, mostly equal attraction to all genders but plays up his love for women a lot becausee... growing up during the 60s will do that to you i think.

BONUS ROUNDDDDDDDDDDD

Soos unlabeled sexuality, genderfluid and/or nonbinary with left bro in the words of one wise anon on tumblr dot com. uses he/him but other pronouns are fine too

Wendy abrosexual transmasc tomboy with no desire to medically transition. likes to present as masculine but only sometimes. gets along with stan over gender fuckery! uses she/he

Pacifica transfem lesbian, mainly uses she/they until mabel introduces her to jewel neopronouns and ruby immediately steals them

Fiddleford greyromantic, bi and polyamorous binary trans man! like wendy, he's never cared much for the idea of medically transitioning. uses he/it but doesn't mind other pronouns

Bill aromantic, asexual and agender babey. uses any/all pronouns, though people usually default to he/him, which she doesn't really mind either!

#probably gonna use these from now on whenever i post abt these guys #ferret rambles #gravity falls #dipper pines #mabel pines #ford pines #stan pines #soos ramirez #wendy corduroy #pacifica northwest #fiddleford mcgucket #bill cipher

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ckret2 · 1 year

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So… how’s Bill feeling about the fact that Stan kinda just like, fucking killed him?

From Bill's POV, Stan is the place where Bill died, and Ford is the person who killed Bill. Stan is passive object, not active agent.

Is this a fair assessment? I don't think so. I think they deserve equal credit/blame for the kill.

But it fits how Bill thinks of them.

Ford? Bill MADE Ford. Ford was a clever-but-not-that-special overevolved primate with a biological imperative to achieve faux immortality by leaving a legacy that he was channeling into a piddling little research trip to an unimportant town on an unimportant planet.

BILL gave Ford what he truly wanted: he made Ford's work important. He made FORD important. He could have made Ford ETERNAL. He gave Ford the honor of being the architect of Earth's existential liberation. Out of the goodness of his flat little heart, he kept giving Ford chances to join him every time Ford turned Bill down or betrayed him. And in return what does that ingrate do? KILL him.

Meanwhile, who's Stan? Some screw-up who bumbled his way into ruining his own life, and bumbled all his efforts to fix his life, and bumbled around for thirty years trying to turn on a machine it took his brother less than two years to build, and finally bumbled into the crossfire when Ford was taking out Bill. He was just... THERE.

Ask Bill why he begged Stan for mercy, and he'll say it was an act of panic. OBVIOUSLY he knows Stan never had the power to save Bill even if he HAD accepted any of Bill's offers. From the moment Bill entered Stan's head, Stan was as helpless as Bill was.

("How much of this twisted narrative about Ford and Stan does Bill actually believe?" He believes all of it completely—when it suits him to believe it. Sometimes it suits him to see himself as a trickster who outsmarted an arrogant "genius"; sometimes it suits him to see himself as a benevolent muse whose foolish student couldn't understand the priceless gift he offered. Truth is relative; and he always had a strained relationship with his relatives.)

It lets Bill feel important and self-righteous if he frames Ford like a treacherous student. He can make a meaty narrative out of that—a narrative he can turn over and over in his head like a burnt crisp rotisserie chicken while he coddles his wounded pride.

What kind of a story can he make out of his relationship with Stan? "Guy I thought was too stupid to pose a threat outwits me in my moment of triumph, so what does that say about me"? "Some background character I've never had a conversation with kills me"?

Bill doesn't want that to be the story of his life. So he just... subconsciously chooses not to believe it.

So Bill's mad at Stan for participating in his death, yeah; but, unjustly, he's mad at him like a supervillain is mad at a superhero's sidekick, not at the superhero himself.

There's more suppressed rage bubbling in Bill that could rise to the surface later; but it's not going to happen until somebody says or does something that forces Bill to recontextualize Stan & Ford's roles in his death—whether that means awarding Stan a position of higher narrative significance, or being forced to face the truth that he got suckered by a dumb conman in a borrowed trench coat.

Until that day comes? Bill is fantasizing about doing the "Singin' in the Rain" puddle-splashing dance in Ford's blood, not Stan's.

#bill cipher #grunkle stan #grunkle ford #gravity falls #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher #anonymous #ask #(Stan IS a background character to Bill! Bill had more than one episode where Stan's mind is the background of the scene!)

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guardianoflightanddarkness · 11 months

Text

An unpopular opinion about Gravity Falls: Return to the Bunker fanmade episode

(SPOILERS)

Okay, first of all, I want to make perfectly clear that I fully respect the crew and the job put in this episode, seriously, it's a blast to have such passioned fans that keep the fandom alive after 11 years and more to come, and honestly, I would want to see more projects like these and The Woods and Tales of Weirdmaggedon returning.

I was honestly very hyped up with this episode since I found out it was in production, so of course having it full yesterday was an awsome surprise. The art, the storyboard, the staging, the editing and the cast was an easy 10 out of 10, and I have absolutely zero complains in the audiovisual part.

However, sadly, to me, the entire thing comes crashing down with the plot and the narrative, by basically changing and missunderstanding the main characters, specially Ford: yes, it's no secret that Ford has trust issues, I think that was pretty clear after he FELT (not saying they did, but that's his perception) betrayed by his twin brother (sabotaging his project and keeping quiet about it, accidentally trapping him in the multiverse for over half of his life during a fight he started it, stealing his house, his identity, mock his entire carreer for money and then starting the portal that almost destroyed the world), his best friend from college (who created the memory gun and used it against him after starting a cult), his pet (the Shapeshifter tried to kill him and Fiddleford) and his muse (who manipulated him, lied to him, possessed and tortured him for decades, not to mention unable to sleep in peace until he got a plate in his head, and being hunted down accross the entire universe for 30 years), alongside all the stress of re-adapting to his dimension, contain the rift and keep Bill at bay.

So yes, Ford has reasons to be the way he is, but the problem is, the Ford we see in this episode is NOT the same one we saw in the TV show or in Journal 3: Ford can be bitter, and like I said, has trust issues, but he is not an ass for the sake of it like they portrayed him here, specially towards Mabel: yes, true, they didn't spend that much time together, but the little times we saw Ford interacting with her or even just talking, or even his entries in the journal, he shows how much he adores her, he only has praise for her ("I like this kid, she is weird!", "She has a magnetic personality!", "You are a good person, Mabel!"), and openly trusted her with a crossbow and sent her to a mission to protect the Shack. This one is openly hostile to Mabel, refusing to wear her sweater because it's hot (WTF, you are LITTERALLY wearing one!), downright telling her he doesn't trust her when he did before, and even saying he likes Dipper because he listens and obeys blindly. Ford LOVES these kids and always showed it, and yet the man in this episode doesn't seem to give a crap about anyone's feelings by being a jerk without a logical reason.

Which brings me to the next point: his reunion with Fiddleford makes NO sense considering that we saw Ford BLAMING himself over and over for what happened to Fiddleford, we litterally see him thinking he hates him and actually displaying remorse, and Fiddleford showing compassion and forgiveness. Instead here, we see Ford treating Fiddleford like dirt just like he did before the portal incident 30 years ago. And Mcgucket doesn't act like Mcgucket himself either, not to mention how the writing ignores how unstable he can be, ("Dude, Mcgucket would never do that!", sure, let's ignore this is the same guy that creates huge terrifying destructive robots that reck the town on a wim like his son not paying attention to him, his wife divorcing and not getting invited to a friend's party).

The entire episode's narrative and characters bash Ford for his trust issues and traumatic experiences instead of tackling down his trauma propperly: I mean, the show EXPECTS Ford to ignore ALL his traumas for over 3 decades and trust not just Mabel, which would have been understandable, but Soos and Wendy, who he doesn't even know, with the rift, you know, the thing that can destroy them all, and then gets punished for not doing so, and paint him as an ilogical paranoid that puts down everyone around him. None of them show any empathy towards him, and they are quick to antagonize him over it and directly blame him for EVERYTHING that happened in Gravity Falls, and the narrative reassures that they are in the right, pointedly ignoring not just all Ford's trauma but everyone's own actions into all the mess that happened over the summer. For crying out loud, the narrative shows more compassion, understanding and sympathy towards the fricking Shapeshifter and blames Ford for the experiment's fate, the monster ACTUALLY having the gal to say that Ford can't change, that he promises to change but then backtracks and keeps going (ironic that this is accused to Ford, of all characters in this episode) and then getting a fricking REDEMPTION and romance partner that he didn't deserve while ignoring he tried to kill Ford and Fiddleford back in the day, traumatizing the latest one, and tried the same with Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy. But hey, nevermind, he just needed some love, he deserves to be happy, NOT YOU, FORD!....I swear, I can't with this.

And that fricking final...WHERE do I even start with that? Ford was affected and TRAUMATIZED because of the ray gun, he was a victim of it, he was the one who tried to stop Fiddleford from using it on himself MULTIPLE times, and who struggled to do it with Stan and broke down after being forced to do so, to his own brother, and only felt a bit relieved after they got his memories back. And you're fricking telling me he would use it on his 12 year old NIECE and friends AFTER they patched things up and he came clear, breaking THEIR trust?! No, sorry, no, that's just so out of character from Ford I don't even know where to start. I know this was done by force in an attempt to make it fit with the canon story, but it just doesn't match not just because of being completely out of character from Ford, but because it still causes bigger issues: he didn't use it on Mcgucket, therefore Mcgucket KNOWS about the rift and about Ford, therefore it breaks the canon of their reunion in Take Back the Falls since in Ford's words, "Fiddleford, I didn't see you since we parted ways, you must hate me". And then the famous lines of "How am I gonna protect the rift?" Honestly, this entire scene, if not the entire episode, just felt like the writers were just trying so hard to take any accountability from Mabel in handling the rift and just blame it on Ford and screaming "SEE?! YOU SEE HOW MUCH OF A JERK FORD IS?! MABEL DID NO WRONG, IT'S FORD'S FAULT FOR ERASING HER MEMORIES, HE IS THE JERK AND THE MAIN ANTAGONIST OF THE SERIES, WHAT A JERK!". And sorry, this still doesn't fix it, because while Mabel didn't know what the rift was, she still KNEW it belonged to Ford (Blendin told her) and that it belonged to his expedition for, in her own words, "Save the world or whatever", and Blendin telling her to steal it ("your grunkle won't even know it's gone missing!") and she agrees. So yeah, while she didn't fully know what she was taking, the fact that she knew it was something that belonged to her grunkle and that he took to his expedition was enough for her to know to NOT to take away, specially without his consent. This episode just tries so hard to paint Ford like the biggest asshole just to place Mabel and the others in a better light and ignore anything they do, so much that it breaks canon.

And Dipper's and Stan's subplot...I dunno, it felt completely unused, and once again, placing the ball on Dipper, Stan accusing him of ignoring him for a month (which makes zero sense because, Ford came out of the portal barely 2 weeks before Weirdmaggedon, there's no way a month went by, and on the top of that not making any sense considering this happened POST Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons where these two had patched up, so this argument makes zero sense). This one specially dissappointed me because, the same way I wanted to see Ford and Mabel bonding, I wanted more scenes like that with Stan and Dipper, specially when we seemed to finally address the fact that yes, Stan and Dipper didn't spend that much time with him. The problem is that the narrative of the episode blames Dipper entirely and ignores whatever Stan has done wrong in regardless of their relationship that easily made Dipper distant with him: not the teasing, not the hard work to "tought him up", not his unfair treatment towards him in comparison to Mabel, not the fact that he LIED to him for the entire summer and broke his trust, nothing. In fact, just when Dipper loses his patience and actually starts to understandably tell him off putting ALL of these examples, Dipper's callout falls on deaf ears, litterally, because Stan doesn't pay attention to Dipper and is panicked due to the monster behind him. Then after that, ALL of that is forgotten, they don't patch things up, and Dipper is the one who has to apologize to Stan, after Stan, once again, not just kept him from hanging out with Ford, after he had promised he would let him go in Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons, but also lied to him and got them into a bigger mess. But no, Dipper is the one who apologizes and is supposed to trust Stan...because of reasons, even if they didn't talk anything out or solved anything really.

The jokes honestly also felt flat and I only honestly enjoyed the Shrek 2 reference.

So yes, while I think that from terms of art, voice cast and edition this episode is amazing, the narrative, the characterization of the main cast and the development is attrocious. Honestly, it feels more like a bad fanfic hating on Ford (and to some extent, Dipper) and portraying him as the biggest jackass on earth and the reason of everything going wrong. This is not how the characters behave. I seriously have to wonder if the writers even watched the show, let alone read Journal 3 and Lost Legends.

#gravity falls #return to the bunker #fanmade #Opinion #Rant #Ford #Mabel #Stan #Dipper #Mcgucket #Wendy #Soos #Why does Ford get all the hate?

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gaybananabread · 2 months

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Can you do Stan, Ford, and Bill (gravity falls) headcanons? If not that’s completely fine! Take your time!!

☆⑅Felony Trio Headcanons⑅⁠☆

(Stan, Ford & Bill)

~No idea if these three have an actual group name or not, but this is what I'm going with. You can't tell me they haven't committed at least one a piece, accidentally and/or on purpose. These sillies will always have a special place in my heart as one of my earlier obsessions. Thank you for requesting!~

❓Stanley💵

General:

Silly con-man gives me ler-leaning switch vibes. Loves wrecking his family, but wouldn’t mind the occasional giggle-fest.

Over the years, he’s developed the elusive “can say the t-word whenever” power, though it definitely didn’t used to be that way. Ford reminds him of that whenever it’s most annoying.

Can easily admit that he likes tickling others, but receiving it? Yeah, good luck. He’s willing to die on that hill.

Lee:

A bit rare, but he will get lee moods. He’s a “ride it out in silence” kinda guy, but Ford can sometimes catch onto his bullshit (definitely not bc he does it too what-)

If he DOES try and solve his problem, it’ll be in the most roundabout way possible. Provoking his brother, teasing his great niece and nephew until they try something, you name it. If it works, it works.

Worst spots are his armpits and the area right beneath his belly button. Enjoy watching him lose his mind if you target either one ♡

Melt spot is his ears. You can’t tell me his goofy ears wouldn’t make him giggle his heart out; he’d love every second of it.

Very gruff, choppy giggles. Sounds kinda like he’s been chain smoking, then saw the funniest thing in his life. When you really get him going, deep and rough belly laughter. Occasional snorts if you wanna kill him.

Ler:

When he gets in a ler mood, he’ll either bother his overworking brother or mess with one of the kids. Sometimes his family can tell, though he won’t normally admit anything.

Such a wonderful asshole of a ler-

Teases, smart-ass comments, horrible dad jokes, and more! Definitely the one to go to if you want a shameless wrecking.

“You’re a lil’ squeak toy, huh? I just squeeze your side and- yup, just like that.”

“Ya know, you could’ve just pushed me away by now. Don’t worry, I noticed.”

“You sure squirm a lot, don'tcha? Like a lil’ worm, could use you as fishing bait!”

“It tickles? Wow, that must really suck for you.”

Pretty good with aftercare. He'll ruffle your hair and tease you, of course, but he lets you lay on him while the TV plays. Fair trade, honestly.

👓Stanford🖋️

General:

Can you really tell me he isn't at least a little lee? After all those years with little to no comforting contact, he loves a good giggle fest.

Making his great niece and nephew laugh, though? Even better.

He doesn't always get that feeling, so I'm going lee-leaning switch.

Lee:

If you even mention it around him, he'll blush, no matter his mood. It's real bad when he's lee.

You can kinda gauge if he's in a mood by just saying the t-word (if you can, that is)

If you don't have that magic, then he's still pretty obvious in other ways.

Extra stuttering, constantly adjusting his glasses, eyes lingering on your hands, wobbly smiles. If you've got eyes, you'll be able to tell.

Will deny it at first, but it's pretty flimsy.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about. I survived the roughest interdimensional plane there is. I don't need…that.”

He falls apart the minute you wiggle your fingers at him.

Worst spots are his hips, followed by his ribs. A few squeezes to either will have him snorting up a storm.

Melt spots are his ears and the tops of his thighs. Like his brother, his ears are lovely to run a feather across for both him and the ler. He loves gentle traces on his thighs, though. Have him a melted, giggling puddle in seconds.

He loses tickle fights on purpose at least 76.4% of the time. Don’t ask me how I got that number: I just know.

Ler:

His ler moods are rare, but if he’s feeling a bit distant from his family, he’ll try and piece things with some giggles.

Soft, playful ler. He never wants to go too far, but he isn’t afraid to goof around and tease while he’s at it.

“I think I’ve got a leg up here, huh? Thanks to my extra fingers, this has gotta be at least 20% more ticklish~”

“You really do blush quite a lot. It’s pretty cute to watch.”

“As a scientist, it’s my job to conduct experiments. Let’s try now. Hypothesis: if I get your worst spot, you’ll laugh at least twice as loud as you are now. Time for the experiment~”

The moment you say stop, even if you don’t mean it, he pulls away. If you want more, you’ll have to ask him.

Pretty great with aftercare. Will absolutely cuddle you, maybe even tell some stories if you’re interested. He’s got plenty from his time in the portal, though he keeps the angstier ones to himself. Any tale he tells is almost guaranteed to make you smile.

🎩Bill💛

General:

Believe it or not, the chaotic dorito does like tickling. In fact, after him and Mabel’s interaction, they seem to randomly plague his thoughts at the most inopportune times. It goes in either direction, his moods as random as his personality.

Considering this, we’re gonna go straight-up switch.

Lee:

These moods are especially hard for the demon to satiate. His friends are insane, but none completely batshit enough to try something like tickling him. When he needs a fix, he usually has to outsource it or suffer until it goes away.

On the off chance he does outsource, he goes for one of the Pines twins. They’re hesitant to let him in, but he’s a sweet-talker. Once he’s inside, it barely takes an hour for him to provoke someone into wrecking him.

His spots vary based on the body he’s inhabiting. The one time he was tickled in his own (Weirdmageddon incident, don’t ask), he found that his hat and feet got him laughing the most.

(don’t come at me, his hat re-grew flesh when he got shot in it)

He doesn’t really have a distinct melt spot, though he loves being tickled right beneath his bowtie. It makes him kick and squirm, but it also makes him incredibly giddy.

Ler:

I’d tell you to run for your life, but it won’t do you much good.

Evil, sarcastic and rough ler. Good luck breathing o7

The kinda dude to go for all your worst spots first, and only explore the softer side if he’s wanting to spice things up.

Can and will generate any tool he feels like to wreck you (surprisingly enough, he’ll ask first)

Boundaries really need to be set before anything happens. Otherwise he’ll just go until he feels like stopping. If you look on the brink of passing out, he’ll quit, but other than that nah.

VERY teasy, with a large handful of sarcasm and sass.

“Geez, you laugh really loud when I get ya here. Mind dialing it down? I don’t wanna go deaf before I’m 20 million.”

“Ha! You snort? I’ve gotta hear that again, c’mon!”

“You’re confusing. You say ‘no, go away,’ but you haven’t even tried escaping. I’m supposed to be the crazy one here; mind explaining?”

“Wow, this is driving you nuts, huh? We’re gonna match!”

Not super great at aftercare unless you ask. He can make any snack or drink you want by snapping, and he knows some great rom-coms to doze off to (don’t ask why unless you wanna go for round two).

#gravity falls tickle #ticklish!stan #ticklish!ford #ticklish!bill #sfw tickling community #tickle #gf tickle #sfw tickle headcanons #lee!ford #lee!stan #lee!bill #ler!ford #ler!stan #ler!bill #ticklish!stanford #ticklish!stanley #gravity falls #tickle thoughts

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pinetreeshack · 1 year

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do you have any thoughts on fiddleford and ciphord interacting because I fucking love that shit. its always SO tense

oh boy do i!! lots of words under the cut

fiddleford is VERY standoffish and realises the cue when bill possesses ford almost immediately. at first, of course, ciphord tended to roam around in private. fiddleford being blissfully unaware of anything, until a lot of his triangle memorabilia started to find itself as common decor in their living room and kitchen. fords obsession with it was.. weird, at first, but fiddleford knew what he signed up for when he agreed to help him. he knew what it was like to want to find something in a higher being, and respected fords beliefs diligently, until ford started bringing his posessions and ramblings outside of his worship room.

i would even go so far as to say fiddleford was probably the first other human being bill came into contact with when he started posessing ford. its uncomfortable, and awkward, and fiddleford doesn't get it, but who is he to deny someone of their god? he'll try to distance himself from ciphord, but ultimately fail, because that is his partner, demon or not. even though he knows bill wouldn't purposely bring physical harm to fords body (at least while building the portal, anyway. anything after would've probably been free game considering it would've been the end times. thats fun to think about. weirdmageddon in the 80s. has anyone explored this idea? probably. anyway) instead he resorts to a sort of 'helicopter-parent' like state. he's hyper-aware, ciphord is scary, and even fiddleford catches himself scoffing at how silly it is to be afraid of a literal triangle (putting his own beliefs behind him for a minute to instead try and understand another. but it is no longer a belief. it's a parasite.), but there are risks on the line when it comes to his friend.

at first bill tried to play it off. maybe he wont notice this guys shockingly yellow scleras or the way his pupils keep shifting shapes from time to time. (wouldnt be surprised if he wore shaded glasses. ford did keep multiple spares, who's to say he didn't have special possession ones). as i said in the tags of a previous post, bill can sort of manipulate peoples perceptions of him, meaning you will most likely never see him unless you want to see him.

that's where i think a lot of their interaction comes from. fiddleford can't help but see ford, therefore he has no choice but to interact with bill, no matter how much ford denies the possession or this other wordly being, and no matter how much religious belief or superstition gets in fiddlefords way, he has no choice but to accept the facts as he sees them (even if sometimes, what he's seeing isn't real.) maybe he thinks acknowledging bills existence will further push him into madness.

perhaps we shouldn't give all the credit to fiddlefords genius when we were told the speed at which fiddleford crafted the memory gun. (which is kind of ironic, when you think about it)

rambling a bit more here, but this also brings me onto a fun topic that i've thought about before: ciphord (bill) using the memory gun on fiddleford to erase his memories of witnessing countless possessions and lost mental battles between ford and bill. it stops after a while, because bill realises just how fragile and frying it is to constantly take over someones body. he still thinks the memory gun is a neat little toy, though.

#ask #as you can tell i have not slept and im very passionate on this #feel free to add with headcanons or theories if you bothered to read all of this

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gfanlocalcryptid · 1 year

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Billford - My significant other

Not everyone will understand this reference.

Ford put his hand on Bill’s shoulder. "Bill, we need to have another talk about your people skills."

"Hey, I'm just stating the obvious. If this is the Axolotl, and he dies, we're all in trouble."

Ford turned to the twins. "I apologize for my boyfriend." Bill rolled his eyes. "Could you not-“

"Would you prefer special guy?" Ford asked. "Or significant other?"

"Significant annoyance, in your case." Bill grumbled.

"Oh, I'll get you for that...”

#billford #bill cipher #stanford pines #ford pines #if loving them is a crime then send me to prison #did you get it #i’ll give you a hint #the trials of apollo #reference #pjo

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discofama · 1 year

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Just gonna give Gravity Falls' characters from the Bill Cipher wheel a soul color like in Undertale. If you don't know what the colors mean, here it is:

Red: Determination ❤️

Orange: Bravery 🧡

Yellow: Justice 💛

Green: Kindness 💚

Light blue: Patience 💙

Deep blue: Integrity 💙💜

Purple: Perseverance 💜

Okay let's get started.

• Dipper: Purple for perseverance 💜

Perseverance, here, is to keep going besides whatever obstacles could get in your way. Even if your goals change, your pace doesn't. Dipper always has some kind of objective in mind, clear stuff like finding the author or more abstract things like impressing his crush or getting manlier. The truth is that, even if Dipper might doubt himself sometimes, he's always working for what he (thinks he) wants. Another considerable color in his soul could be orange, for bravery.

• Mabel: Green for kindness 💚

The good old kindness, no need to explain. Mabel cares so much about everyone around her, wants them to smile and does her best for them to be happy, even if sometimes does it wrong (she's still a child after all), her intentions are nothing but the best and the kindest and she always ends up rectifying the moment she realizes she made anyone sad. A secondary color to mention might be orange as well.

• Stan: Light blue for patience 💙

The needed patience, the ability to wait. Stanley has waited a lot through his life, that's no secret for anyone. Even if it took him ages, he waited and step by step worked as best as he could taking the needed time and never gave up. Even if it might not seem like it, he has an easy character towards those he cares about (that was lost when Ford came back and Stan got his last straw, but let's ignore that) and... he's just actually very patient with them, specially the kids but Soos and Wendy too since he rarely gets really annoyed by any of them, something I didn't realize until I tried to align him with any of the soul colors and found out that this... is the one trait that fits him; I literally couldn't fit him under any other color.

• Ford: Red for determination ❤️

Determination (sigh). Undertale players can feel this word's weight. You have an objective in mind for the long run and you won't let it go until you reach it. That's literally Ford Pines, the guy who worked half of his life to accomplish a successful scientific career and fame, and the other half to destroy a specific yellow triangle. Ford's eyes will focus on a goal and he won't stop until he makes it. A secondary color might be orange, cause he is almost too brave. Also maybe yellow, for his strong-but-not-always-accurate sense of justice, but I wouldn't consider that one as much.

• Soos: Deep blue for integrity 💜💙

He has a moral conscience, and stays loyal to the truth and to himself. Soos might seem a green type of person, but he won't hesitate when telling you a hurtful truth, but still a truth that needs to be said. He won't be anything but himself even if he's not perfect, without ever needing to perjudicate anyone. He is sincere, trustworthy, and a great person, who stayed loyal to Stan but then to the kids the moment they showed him he was hiding something to all of them. Definitely a soul of integrity. Another color to be considered might be light blue, for patience, or orange again. These guys are really brave, let me tell ya.

• Wendy: Orange for bravery 🧡

Could I make it more obvious? Wendy doesn't really try to get in dangerous places, but she never runs away from them. It is revealed in the Society of the Blind Eye episode that she is always stressed inside, which is a poorexcuseforcharacterdevelopment but anyway, she lives with a deep fear but is able and willing to get over it and face situations without letting it control her, and that is actually what bravery is rather than jumping to danger like an idiot. Another color to be considered might be green, since she's actually pretty kind as shown in the series.

• Gideon: Purple for perseverance 💜

An interesting aspect of the show is all the parallelisms between Gideon and Dipper, like both having a crush on an older girl or both getting a journal and more stuff I don't remember but I read that analysis somewhere, and you get me. It was also interesting for both to have the same soul color along with the possibility of orange. Gideon... keeps it going. He's always planning something to get away with his whims, doesn't matter if it's stealing the Mistery Shack or a deck chair. Gideon's vision and wantings might change, but like Dipper, his pace never does.

• Fiddleford: Green for kindness 💚

At first, i put Fiddleford here just because he couldn't fit any other color, but I realized green is actually perfect for him. I'm talking mostly about when he was sane since I don't think his attitude during most of the series should be considered to judge his real personality. He seemed a nice person and dedicated to others with things like writing a whole tesis for Ford, giving him a laptop or a pumpkin that "looked like him", and the way Ford described him talking about family and stuff, also he seems to love children by the end of Gravity Falls when he recovered his memories, his vibe just seems very kind by nature. I haven't read the journal for a while so I don't remember a lot, but definitely, green is his color. Mostly because he literally just can't fit under any other and I'm not joking this time.

• Pacifica: Yellow for justice 💛 (Why is there not a yellow text option?)

Am I judging her whole character because of one scene? Yes. Do I think I'm right? ... not really. The first time she stopped her parents' influence, she did it with an act of justice. She let the town people into the party, she did what was fair. Yes, it was because there was a ghost threatening to kill everyone if not, but I think there's a meaning behind her first... true action being something fair. Well, she cheated in the singing contest, but honestly, I'm having trouble here giving Pacifica a color. Her parents' bad influence made her a completely different person than what she really is inside, so her soul color might be actually anything, but I personally believe yellow is the one.

• Robbie:

....

Who is Robbie?

No, really. I have no idea what to give him. Maybe perseverance? Because of his search for ✨love✨? Idk man. Not kindness, nor patience, nor bravery (maybe? Nahh... Maybe? Naahhh), nor justice (i mean what justice yk), nor integrity, and I laugh at the idea of giving him a determination soul. Could you imagine? (Probably only Undetale fans will get me here but come on).

Though that would actually be hilarious.

Anyway I hope you liked this... something. I love Undertale and a crossover with Gravity Falls would be SO fun and I couldn't get this out of my head, so... yeah. Tell me if you think I'm wrong about any of these and why, I'd like it tho probably no one will read this but I will be happy anyway.

Also I forgot but Bill's is Determination, if he even has a soul, much less a human soul. His magic could be red tho, like the monsters with colored magic instead of colored souls.

#gravity falls #dipper pines #mabel pines #stanley pines #stanford pines #soos ramirez #wendy corduroy #gideon gleeful #fiddleford mcgucket #pacifica northwest #robbie valentino #undertale #meta

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eldragon-x · 1 year

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Thinking really hard about how Bill views Ford is insane it's like. He doesn't give a shit about him, he thinks he's just like him, he wants him to be his friend so bad, he thinks he betrayed him, he knew fully well that he was the one doing the betraying and manipulating, he wants him to join him, he's just a plaything to him, he's his most special little guy, he's his greatest enemy, he would not have cared if he died, he specifically kept him alive, he had an extremely rare moment of vulnerability with him, he thinks they're still buddies, he literally tortured him

#what is wrong with him #gf #bill tag #ford tag

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protons0010 · 2 years

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Who controls of our whole money ?

I'm gonna start this article with a quote. Henry Ford once said, it is well enough that the people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system. For if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning. I quote this because it encapsulates the fact that the contents of this article may be unsettling compared to the articles that I normally make.

I still feel compelled to make this article because I've been exploring the financial world for the last four years and it's definitely given me a more complete view of the world I want to share some of what I've come across with you guys. I'm also going to do a article about cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin in the future and to understand why Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies may continue to rise. It's critical that you understand the contents of this articles. I hope that you find this topic interesting and that inspires you to do your own research afterwards.

Now, with that said, let's begin. So who controls all of our money? It's a simple question. We all know that you and I don't control it. Our employees don't control it. The companies that they work for don't control it. So who does? Where does it even come from in the 1st place?

I'll give you a hint. Money does not come from the government. It's a seemingly obvious question that's never asked or taught in schools for some reason. Unfortunately, most people's lives are basically dedicated to money. It's all people ever worry about or talk about. We go to school to learn basically how to go to university to learn the skills to get a good job so that we can trade hours of our lives all for this thing called money. So why wouldn't you want to know where money comes from and who issues it Today in this very special article you're about to find out the answer to the question of who controls all of our money?

People today can tell something isn't quite right with our financial system, but they just can't put their finger on it. Some people think it's the failure of government, others think that it's the failure of capitalism itself. This article should clarify a few things.

The year is 1694 and England had just suffered through 50 years of war. Exhausted the English Government needed loans to fund their political means. Brainchild of Scottish banker William Paterson. It was decided that a privately owned bank that could issue the money to the government out of thin air was to be the solution. This was the very first modern central banking system in the world. Central banking is more influential than laws, governments and politicians, but strangely not the focus of the general public. Fast forward to the early 20th century and after two failed attempts, a group of bankers wanted to put a central bank in the United States of America. It was December of 1910 and Senator Nelson Aldridge ordered a private train car in New York with six others. The six were not to be spotted by any news reporters to avoid questions. Their destination, Jekyll Island, off the coast of Georgia. The meeting went for 9 days and from that they created the Federal Reserve System. This is all documented and a matter of public record. Some of them went on to write about the meetings in their personal biographies.

Here's a quote from Frank Vanderlip, president of the National City Bank of New York, February 9th, 1935, in the Saturday Evening Post. " I was a secretive indeed as furtive as any conspirator discovery we knew simply must not happen, or else all our time and effort would be wasted. If it were to be exposed that our particular group had got together and written a banking bill, that bill would have no chance whatever a passage by Congress." The six men that Nelson Aldridge brought together included the head of Banks branches of government, such as the Treasury and some of the richest people on Earth at the time. To give you an idea of how rich they were in 1910, these six men represented 1/4 of the world's worth. The bankers told the American public that the purpose of the system was to stabilize the economy and to stop the grip of the Wall Street banks over America, the problem was the guys that wrote the bill were the very same people. They said they'd stop if they succeeded. It will give a small group of men the ability to create money from nothing and loan it to the American government with interest. So why was it done in secret?

Because the American people didn't want a central bank back then unlike today, people knew what central banks were and understood them very well everywhere a central bank went. There'll be wealth inequality wild swings between economic booms and pass, and after each passed, those are the top of society mysteriously came out richer while everyone else got poorer. Europe was the running example of this at the time.

The Federal Reserve was originally drafted as the Aldridge bill, but when it came into Congress, they recognised Senator Aldridge's name and smelt a rat. The bankers needed better cover. They decided to send two millionaire friends to carry the bill. To quell the suspicions of Congress and renamed it the Federal Reserve Act. Next, in the textbook lesson of the state, the bank is set out to fool the American people through disinformation in the newspapers of the day, the bank is screened and protested against the new Federal Reserve bill. It would ruin the banks, they exclaimed. The average person read the protesting articles of the bankers and thought to themselves if the bankers hate it, it must be good. And then they ended up unknowingly supporting a Trojan horse.

The bankers also fall Congress by putting clauses in the bill that limited their power, only to remove them once the bill was passed. A double head fake of the public and Congress was all it took. The bill was passed on December 23rd, 1913, while most of Congress was out on holiday, and with that a small group had complete monopoly over the issuing and creation of American money.

Today, the Federal Reserve is the most powerful entity in the United States and they're not ashamed to admit it either. Here's former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan, " What should be the proper relationship between the chairman of the Fed and a President of the United States? Well, first of all, the Federal Reserve is an independent agency, and that means, basically, that. There is no other agency of government which can overrule actions that we take, what the relationships are, don't frankly matter."

In addition to this, it seems that the Fed can't even be touched by investigating parties. " So I'm asking you if your agency has in fact, according to Bloomberg's extended $9 trillion in credit, which, by the way works out to $30,000 for every single man, woman, and child in this country, I'd like to know if you're not responsible for investigating that who is." " we actually we have responsibility for The federal reserves programs and operations. Audits to conduct Audits and investigations in that area. In terms of who's responsible for investigating Would you mind repeating the question one more time? Mr. Chairman, my my time is up but I have to tell you honestly I am shocked to find out that nobody at the Federal Reserve, including Inspector General, is keeping track of this."

So what does all of this have to do with me, you might be asking. I don't even live in the US. Well, two reasons #1 the central banking model from the Bank of England and the United States has now been put in all countries and even consolidated power in parts of Europe as the European Central Bank, or ECB, this united separate countries under one economic policy, the only places in the world that don't have central banks are North Korea, Iran, and Cuba. In 2000, this list suspiciously included Afghanistan, Iraq, and Libya.

And #2. Since the end of World War Two, the US dollar has been the reserve currency of the world. This means that all central banks hold U.S. dollars in their reserves. In other words, all other currencies are backed by the US dollar. This directly links your country to the Federal Reserve monetary policy in America. More on this lighter. When the post World War Two monetary system called the Bretton Woods system was created, all U.S. dollars were backed by an exchangeable for gold. A byproduct of this was that currencies used to be very stable in relation to each other. Before that, All the countries the exchange rates were fixed and year after year you could predict what prices were going to be. You could start a business elsewhere, know if you were, you know you could calculate profits business was. much much easier before floating Exchange rates.

Unfortunately, in 1971, due to a falling U.S. dollar, international capital flows into gold and the funding of the Vietnam War. President Nixon took the US dollar off the gold standard. " I have directed Secretary Connolly to suspend temporarily the convertibility of the dollar into gold or other reserve assets." said by Nixon. Now the dollar was floating and backed by nothing and has been ever since. OK, so let's think a little if the US dollar is backed by nothing but the world reserved are backed by the US Doller.

Intrinsically since 1971, doesn't this mean that all currencies are now backed by nothing tangible, only trust in the American government? Well, this is correct. Money backed by nothing is known as Fiat currency. Fiat in Latin means let it be done. In other words, the government says it is money, so it is.

A consequence to having money backed by nothing is that whenever the Federal Reserve creates money, it dilutes the currency supply of all other nations because their reserves are backed by the US dollar. All countries reserves are worth less each time money is created.

In the past few years, the Federal Reserve has printed trillions of dollars, and countries like Russia and China have noticed this as a reaction to the money printing. These countries have been selling U.S. dollar reserves and buying gold over the same period.

But wait a second, some of you clever thinkers out there may have asked yourself if every currency on Earth is backed by nothing. How am I able to pay for things? Well, as it turns out, the whole economic system today is running because it's backed by faith. Faith that you can exchange your unit of currency for goods or services. In a way part of that faith comes from the fact that not many people actually know where money comes from. We're about to find that out in this article.

A central bank is essentially the entity that manages a nation's money supply, and it can loan money to the government with interest. In the United States and most other countries, it works like this. When the government needs more money than they receive from taxes, they ask the Treasury Department for money. The Treasury then receives an IOU or bond from the government. The Treasury, through the banks, gives this IOU to the Federal Reserve. The Fed then writes a check for this IOU and hands it to the banks at this exchange at the banks, money is created and it can be used to pay government bills.

So hang on, where does the Fed get the money to be able to write this check? They get this money from nowhere. They literally just invent it. Here's a quote from the Boston Federal Reserve quote. When you or I write a cheque, there must be sufficient funds in our account to cover the check. But when the Federal Reserve writes a check, there is no bank deposit on which that check is drawn. When the Federal Reserve writes a check, it is creating money End Quote.

So in essence, they're writing a check and creating money from an account that has no money in it. The money the Federal Reserve creates can be used as legal tender to buy things and eventually makes its way into the real economy. If you and I did, that would go to jail for fraud, but they can do it because they invented the system. This is the same system used throughout the world today.

Another part of this money creation happens at the Commercial bank side. Every time you take out a loan to buy a house, car or TV, banks create money out of nowhere to give you this loan and you still have to pay interest on it. And don't just believe me when I say that. Hear it for yourself from the horse's mouth, the people running the system. Graham Towers, former governor of the Central Bank of Canada, states quote, " each and every time a bank makes a loan. New credit is created. New deposits brand new money" End Quote. Paul Tucker, Deputy governor of the Bank of England, quote " banks extend credit by simply increasing the borrowing customers current account" End Quote. So what they're basically saying is that each time the bank makes a loan, the bank doesn't use other people's deposited money and give it to you. It creates new money in modern times. This means typing digits into a computer.

97% of all money is digitally created like this. Only three percent is the physical cash and coins that we carry. Another crazy thing that commercial banks can do is lend out 10 times more money than they actually have in reserves. This is called fractional reserve lending.

So who wrote this ridiculous system into law?

So who wrote this ridiculous system into law ? For the United States is was part of the Federal Reserve System, drafted in 1913, and again this is the same system used throughout the world.

So what's the issue? Why should I even care?

Who was consequences? When more lines are given out, more money is created and the rest of the money in circulation is worth less and less as the years go on. This is known as inflation. In a way, inflation is basically a tax that we all pay for the fraud of money printing easy money now in exchange for tax on our future generations.

It's also why in 1950 a house used to cost $7000 and a car $2000. Obviously this is no longer the same today. Things will always keep getting more expensive as long as this system is in place.

This was actually kind of OK because wages grew in relation to inflation until about 2008. Why this stopped happening is a story for another day. So things are already pretty crazy, but they get even crazier the more you look into it the stranger things become. So remember how we're talking about how central banks and commercial banks can create money out of nothing?

This procedure actually does create something. It creates debt. Let me explain. When you take out a loan, it's written down as an asset in the bank as a negative form, kind of like a negative value of money or otherwise known as debt. Under this system, debt is actually money.

And again, don't just listen to me. Marriner Eccles, former governor of the Federal Reserve states quote. " If there were no debts in our money system, there wouldn't be any money." So in essence, instead of gold being the backbone of our economy, it's now debt.

The system we're under now is sometimes referred to as the debt based monetary system. It requires that debt always grows countries and people must become deeper in debt so that there's more money in the system, because remember, debt is money.

If people in government stop borrowing money and pay back loans, the debt doesn't grow. The money supply shrinks and the system falters. It truly is bizarre, but we all live in this system each and every day. The Federal Reserve and other central banks control money by adjusting its supply and how much it costs to borrow money, otherwise known as the interest rate. With these tools, and as a consequence of human group psychology, central banks can create booms and busts in the economy at will, and also to store and derail an economy by messing with it. Let's take a quick case study in the year 2000, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan cut interest rates to 1%. He did this to try and fight off recession from the dot com bubble and encourage people to borrow money when interest rates are low. If you're borrowing money, you save a whole lot on repaying mortgages. Since the 1% interest rate hadn't been seen at the time since the 1950s. It was a pretty good deal. Greenspan's idea was that he could create a wealth effect. People would start to buy houses. The prices would go up, and the people would feel wealthier and spend more money in the economy and stimulate it. Greenspan sure succeeded in getting people to borrow money to buy houses, but they borrowed too much and the result was the 2008 housing bubble. This is a prime example of what can go wrong when central banks mess with an economy. Yes, corrupt bankers have a lot to answer for on their role in the 2008 crisis, but the Fed has a far bigger long term impact.

Even crazier things are happening in Japan. Their central bank is buying so many stocks that they were the number one buyer of Japanese stocks in 2016, so they have part ownership of companies with money that they created from nothing.

So in essence, it is the central banks that control our economy and the central and commercial banking system together that control all of our money. The difference is central banks can create money at will while commercial banks need loans to create money.

To give you an idea of people's views of central banking, when people actually knew what central banks were, here's a couple of examples in 1881. Then president of the United States, James Garfield states quote. "Whoever controls the volume of money in any country is absolute master of all industry and commerce. And when you realize that the entire system is very easily controlled, one way or another by a few powerful men at the top. You will not have to be told how periods of inflation and depression originate" End Quote.

Benjamin Franklin, in his autobiography, stated that the primary reason for the American War of Independence was a battle over who actually controlled and issued the money of the new colonies. Moving on to more modern times, Nobel Prize winning economist Milton Friedman states, quote "the Federal Reserve definitely caused the Great Depression by contracting the amount of currency in circulation by 1/3 from 1929 to 1933" End Quote.

So with all this being said, some would argue that central banks are not inherently a bad thing. They just need to be part of the government and not privately owned. The government should be able to issue its own money for the benefit of the people and shouldn't have to pay a massive interest on its own debt. This was tried at least once in the United States by President Lincoln who stated this, "The government should create, issue and circulate all the currency and credit needed to satisfy the spending power of the government and the buying power of consumers. By the adoption of these principles, the taxpayers will be saved immense sums of interest. Money will cease to be mastered. Become the servant of humanity". Abraham Lincoln then issued his own government money. It was called the greenback. No further comments on that story.

So I think we'll end the article there. There's so much more that I could cover about what central banking decisions led to, what revolutions around the world. Pretty much when you look at it, all revolutions and all wars when you dig through everything, it all boils down to money.

I could also have talked about the new global movement of those who are rejecting the debt based economic system. People are starting to move their currency into gold, silver, and cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That's a whole another story for another day. Anyways, if you've read the whole way through this article, congratulations, you're one of the few who have found out the hidden truths about who controls all of our money. I think I've only met about few people in real life that have been aware of the debt based economic system.

Is strangely unknown, but is as true as anything? I haven't showed you all the quotes of the bankers and the former heads of the Federal Reserve telling you from their own mouths how the system actually works. If this is your first time hearing all of this, I encourage you. As I said before, to do your own research and then you'll start to see the bigger picture and the world today will make a whole lot more sense.

If you want some good starting resources, I recommend Mike Maloney's hidden Secrets of Money series. It's there on YouTube.

If you are into reading and you want to know more about the history of the Federal Reserve, I recommend the book by Jedward Griffin. The creature from Jekyll Island. So anyway, I think I'll start talking now. Thanks for reading this whole article attentively. I really hope you learned something from this article and I'll see you again soon for the next episodes. Cheers, guys. Have a good one.

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fablesrose · 3 months

Text

Ch 10 - The Two Live Crew Job

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Pairing: Eliot Spencer x Ford!Reader

Description: Stealing a family painting back for the client becomes more complicated when a competing crew comes to town.

Words: 3273

A/n: I wanted to get this out earlier, but here it is. I hope you like it!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was supposed to be a simple job. Stealing a stolen painting, giving it back to the rightful owners. But no, not only did someone beat us to the punch, but delivered a bomb to Sophie’s apartment. Now I stood here next to Nate at Sophie’s funeral. Though she was being buried under a different name. After Eliot, Parker, and Hardison all spoke, Nate went and closed the casket, giving it a soft pat as the pallbearers took it away towards the grave.

I watched the curtain under the table where the casket sat, to see if it ruffled. It did as Sophie looked out quickly, gave me a wink and snuck out the other side where no one would see her.

Faking someone’s death was surprisingly fun, especially when trying to find her potential killer. The four of us left, leaving Nate (and Sophie in a disguise) to keep scanning the mourners to see if one of them had any potential red flags of being her supposed killer. Only one man fit the bill.

Sophie started the slides once we got back to Nate’s apartment, “Marcus Starke, brilliant grifter, even better forger.”

We all gathered around the living room to hear Sophie explain who this guy was. Parker sat next to Sophie, staring at her curiously.

“It’s like you’re haunting us.”

“Parker, I’m not really dead,” Sophie said. Parker poked her testingly. “I’m not dead!”

Parker replied with an unconvinced ‘okay’ before leaving her alone.

“We used to work together,” Sophie continued about this Starke fella. “We did the Copenhagen job of ‘97, the Berlin Polytech job of ‘98, and, Nate,” she turned to him specifically, “remember that great run in Moscow?”

“‘That great run?’” he repeated, “I chased ya for three months.”

“Well, technically, you chased us,” she replied, “sorry.”

“Are you saying that you saw other teams before us?” Hardison asked.

“Really just another Nate, before Nate,” Parker rebutted.

“Let me ask you a question,” Eliot said to Nate, “what bugs you more, is it the fact that he was with Sophie first or that he outsmarted ya?”

There were a few beats of uncomfortable silence before Nate expressionlessly said, “Moving on,” in a gravelly voice that showed he was very much bothered.

“Ouch,” I whispered, of which Eliot replied with a smug huff.

“Um, Starke doesn’t keep a permanent crew” Sophie continued, “He specializes in whiz mobs. He puts a team together, they slam into town on one high-profile job, and then they scatter. But usually they do one sm-” she paused as recognition spread across her face, “they do one smaller job first just to work out the kinks in the team.”

“Like our client’s painting, for example?” Nate asked.

“Wrong place, wrong time,” Sophie said, mostly to herself, “Starke must have seen me, and now that I’m one of the good guys, and decided to get rid of me because… why?” She continued to think out loud, “because… I know his scams. Because… I know his favorite scam: the Mona Lisa variant.”

“Ooo!” Parker clapped a couple of times, “that was the first one I learned! In 1911, the Mona Lisa was stolen, and the conman who did it made six identical copies.”

“And then they put it on the black market, and each buyer thought that they had the original,” Nate finished.

“So the dude sold the same painting six times,” Hardison said.

“Seven,” I corrected, “depending on what he did with the original… the six copies plus the original, right?”

Nate nodded at me in agreement, but a bit distractedly. I glanced at Hardison to see he was agreeing, but a little embarrassed.

“Not that that particular detail matters right now,” I added, motioning for them to continue.

“Hardison, pull up all the auctions in Boston in the next two days,” Sophie instructed, tossing him the remote. “Starke never stays in a city more than two days,” she explained.

“Wait a minute, not museums?” Eliot asked.

“No, no,” Nate answered, “Starke likes to use auctions to figure out who wants the painting. He picks who he’s gonna sell the fakes to.”

“That bit was actually my part of the scam,” Sophie said. “I made that up, it’s good isn’t it?”

“That’s still a lot of paintings,” Eliot said.

“Yeah, it’s high profile,” Nate agreed. “A scam like this requires a lot of publicity, paintings ten million dollars or more.”

“He does all his own forgeries,” Sophie said, “post impressionists, late 1800s.”

The screen showed all of the paintings available at auctions in the allotted time frame and slowly disappeared as they were eliminated on the given criteria just given by Nate and Sophie until there was only a couple left.

“There,” Sophie pointed at one in particular, “That’s it. Van Gogh. He has a soft spot for Van Gogh.”

The painting was a street scene, focussing on what seemed to be a restaurant or cafe with outdoor seating. I could tell that it was Van Gogh from the painting style once Sophie mentioned it. It was a quiet scene, peaceful, but the bright colors gave it life and energy. I could see the appeal to it.

“So we just– we call the cops,” Hardison concluded.

“Why is that the first thing you thought of, considering what we do,” I asked. I then said to myself, “I thought I was becoming part of the team, because that was not my first thought.”

“No,” Sophie said to Hardison, backing me up a bit. “If Starke goes down for this, there’s no guarantee we can get that painting back for the Mercers. He even smells the police, he’s gonna run, and we’ll get nowhere near it.”

“He did try to kill you, Sophie,” Nate reminded her.

“We risk our lives all the time,” Sophie said quietly. “No,” She continued more resolutely, “We need to barter. We need something to trade for the Mercers’ painting.”

“Such as?” Hardison asked.

Sophie looked back at the screen that showed the Van Gogh painting, “That. That’s what he’s come for. That’s what he wants.”

Nate turned to us, “We just gotta get there first.”

I turned to the rest of the team, “I feel a bit over my head on this one.”

Parker turned to me with a puzzled look, “What do you mean? You help us steal things all the time now. This is no different.”

“This is totally different, I mean, we’ve had time crunches before but this is a race. Against other professionals. I have learned a bit here and there, but not enough to be an asset against professionals,” I emphasized.

Nate shook his head, “Nah, you’ll be fine. We’ll find something for you to do. Come on, let’s go.” He walked away and everyone started to file out after him. I sat there watching them for a moment before following with a shake of my head. This will be interesting.

There were people milling about the high end auction place, looking at the paintings on display. It was a relatively relaxed atmosphere, with servers handing out flutes of what seemed to be white wine, but I didn’t know enough about alcohol to pay much attention and I declined when one was offered to me. I wanted to stay particularly sharp in case we ran into trouble.

We all had our assigned roles, with me acting more like a floater. Nate was obviously doing his point thing, making sure everyone was on task and being the brains of the operation, Parker acting like a server to swipe security credentials from the auction house manager, Hardison on computers and cams, with Eliot and I doing other general recon. Sophie was stuck in the van with Hardison, at least she felt like she was stuck. We had to keep her behind the curtain so to speak with her supposed to be dead and all.

Eliot leisurely sipped on a glass next to me, surveying the room. With his hair pulled back with a beanie and his glasses, he looked comfortable. I could tell he was on alert, his eyes always peeled, but confident. I couldn’t help but admire him out of the corner of my eye until Hardison gave a direction.

“Eliot, check out the back corridor. I think I see an access point.”

Eliot looked at me and nodded his head in that direction, silently asking if I would come along. I nodded and followed him. It wasn’t long before there was some static in the comms with a voice I didn’t recognize coming through. Hardison argued with the voice, talking about baby monitor frequency and hacker whatnot.

“Hardison, what is going on?” I asked, still following Eliot.

The voice responded before Hardison, “Ooooh, now who is the owner of that delectable voice?”

The voice was so… greasy that I reflexively gagged, silently, luckily.

Still, Eliot caught my response and growled into comms, “Who are you?”

“Nuh uh, we are stopping that right there,” Hardison answered. “Switching to backup comm frequencies. Eliot, they’re here, they’re here!”

“What are you talking about?” He asked as we turned a corner. At the end of the hall, an absolutely bombshell of a beautiful woman suddenly stopped as we spotted each other. She had a hand to her ear which she was talking to, which clued me in that she was part of the other crew. Eliot saw it too and quickly but gently pushed me back behind the corner as he analyzed the threat. I was in a position where I was relatively out of sight, but could watch both parties.

I simultaneously listened on comms to Nate trying to figure out what was going on when Starke approached, striking up conversation, clearly already knowing who he was. I listened as it seemed the crew members paired off with their rival counterparts, battling it out in their respective fields. At least, I assumed that was what was happening in front of me as Eliot and this chick shifted between different combat stances. When each of them changed their form, the other seemed to flinch, leading to the conclusion that this was a more psychological battle.

There was a look in Eliot’s eyes that I wasn’t sure I liked, particularly looking at this unfamiliar woman. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, and I didn’t want to explore the feeling any longer, so I turned away from them to go search for that access point Hardison mentioned. I thought I found it when I heard the manager ask everyone to leave. I worked my way back to where I left Eliot to find that Nate beat me there to grab him.

“Done giving her bedroom eyes?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light and teasing, but I was sure there was a different undertone present.

The laugh he had on the tip of his tongue from the interaction (or lack thereof) seemed to fall, and he gave me a light scoff and eyeroll, “Whatever, y/n.”

I raised my hands defensively as we exited the auction house, “Just calling it as I see it.” I walked ahead of him, passing Nate to load into the van, claiming the passenger seat for myself on the ride back.

Coming back to Nate’s apartment to debrief a bit, Nate had a new fire and determination about him. It seemed like Starke pissed him off a bit.We reviewed the other members of the team with Parker and Hardison mirroring Nate’s annoyance for their own rivals. Parker was up against a thief named Apollo and Hardison against a hacker who goes by Chaos.

“Was that who I was hearing on comms? He sounded greasy, gross,” I commented.

Hardison laughed once, “Well he is, and unfortunately very much knows what he’s doing.”

Eliot, on the other hand, seemed to admire the girl, Mikel, and her reputation. She sounded very skilled and very scary.

Once the opposing team members were established in the debrief, Nate was scrambling through papers and information. Trying to retain as much as possible.

Eliot turned towards Sophie, “How’s this gonna play out?”

“He’s been challenged, okay?” She answered. “His pride is hurt. His… his ego’s at stake. He’s gonna… he’s gonna come up with a bigger, riskier plan than…”

“You talkin’ about Nate?” Eliot asked.

“Nate, yeah,” Sophie agreed, though a little distractedly.

Eliot looked towards me and I hesitantly nodded in agreement as well. I didn’t know this side of Nate as well as Sophie, but the more I watched as Nate became more frustrated, she was right. I knew Nate was competitive, he’s been like that as long as I could remember, but in this environment, with the constant undertone of at least a little bit of danger, it seems to be on a whole new level.

“There’s no way. There’s no way this crew is gonna get to that painting before we do. No way,” Nate repeated, determined.

“We’re not giving up on our only hope of helping the Mercers,” Sophie added. “They’ve waited their entire lives for justice and we are not gonna fail them now.”

“Yeah, yeah. That. sure. Yeah,” Nate haphazardly agreed. “But I mean, who does this guy think he is?”

I looked at the team cautiously, and it looked like we were all on edge. This might be becoming personal.

“We know their MO, their strengths, their weaknesses,” Nate continued.

“No, no, no,” Hardison interjected. “I have noticed a distinct lack of weaknesses.”

“We know their target,” Nate reassured, “even better, we know their timeline. That painting is going up for auction tomorrow, and it gets sold, it walks out that door. That means they have to hit it tonight. We gotta go in hot. In and out before they even…”

“Tripled security since today,” Eliot reminded him.

“We barely had time to check out the cameras, the motion sensors,” Parker added.

“Whatever happens, one way or another, we are walking out of that auction house tonight with that painting,” Nate finished, “No matter what.”

There was a beat of silence, tension clearly hanging in the air.

“You got it?” He asked.

We all nodded and voiced the affirmative.

“Now, let’s go steal ourselves a masterpiece.”

Before I knew it, it was go time. I graciously took a minor role with how technical this plan was, leaving Hardison, Parker, and Eliot to their specific niche. Nate was the main distraction to have Eliot and Parker sneak in, but I was there hanging in the background in case more attention needed to be drawn.

It didn’t take long for Parker and Eliot to run into their rival counterparts and for Hardison to get in a hacking battle with Chaos, stealing security capabilities from each other. Nate was holding the attention of the guards pretty well, but he started to lose them after the motion sensors went off. I was about to step in when none other than Starke stepped up to aid in the distraction, posing as Nathan Ford, with the insurance company.

That might have been as bold of a move as any.

Starke led Nate away from the gates towards the park where I was hiding out. This was when we were put on our back foot. Parker was stuck with the lasers that Chaos turned on after he locked Hardison out of security. It sounded like Eliot was still fighting Mikel.

“What do you want me to do, Nate?” I asked him through comms, staying hidden. I watched as he glanced at Starke and the time on his watch.

“Come on out, I’m still thinking.”

I approached the pair and watched as Starke spotted me, a curious expression crossing his face.

“Ahh, see,” Starke turned back to Nate, pointing at him, “we found information and learned about your whole crew,” he turned back to me, “with the exception of you.”

“Let’s keep it that way, shall we?” Nate replied, just as a police car pulled up to the auction house, lights and sirens blazing.

“You all out of tricks, Nate?” Starke asked.

“Oh, I think he has one more,” Sophie called as she stepped out of the driver's seat of the police cruiser.

“Sophie?” Starke asked, surprised.

“Oooh!”

“You’re not-”

“Dead? Yes.” She stepped up beside Nate and I.

“You went through all this just to set me up?”

“Uh-uh. No. We went through all of this to save you,” Sophie corrected.

“Now, Hardison,” Nate spoke smugly.

I smiled as I heard Hardison get himself up and running again, activating the alarms as planned. Parker was acting as a police officer inside and ‘arresting’ the other thief and grabbing the painting; Eliot was ‘arresting’ Mikel. Hardison went in as a third officer to smooth things over with the guards. We as a group watched as they all walked out of the front door.

“This is saving me, how?” Starke asked.

Nate nodded at me to go and help the others get everything sorted out. I still listened as Sophie and Nate explained how Chaos was going to double cross Starke and how he was the one who tried to kill Sophie. I flinched as Starke’s car exploded down the street, catching me off guard.

“Easy, y/n,” Hardison teased, packing up the artwork.

“Explosions happen all the time, nothing to be afraid of,” Parker commented casually as she pushed Apollo into the back of the police car, even though it was unnecessary.

I laughed, “Well Parker, I’m not used to it yet. Explosions don’t happen on the daily for most people.”

She had a puzzled look on her face, “Huh, weird.”

It didn’t take long for it to come to the traditional celebration of a job well done. Both teams gathered at the pub for bonding and the exchange of paintings. Parker was racing Apollo in picking locks and Eliot was exchanging scar stories with Mikel. I tried not to linger my gaze on them from where I sat at the bar and moved onto Sophie and Nate. They had made Starke hand the Mercer’s painting back to the aging couple who were overjoyed at its return. Starke was only satisfied when he received his compensation in the form of the Van Gogh painting.

We all shared a knowing smile as he left the pub. We had snuck into their home base while they were gone and had stolen his forgeries of the painting. Nate had given Starke one of the fakes, sending the rest of the paintings, including the original, to the airport under Chaos’ name. That should be sufficient evidence to frame him for forgery and theft.

I didn’t stick around the pub for very long. It, for some reason, felt a bit disingenuous to insert myself anywhere after playing the backburner in this job. No matter how wrong I knew that feeling to be, I couldn’t quite shake it. Hardison had joined the thief table with his laptop, but was mostly admiring Parker with her determination to beat Apollo. My heart warmed with his genuineness that I could read even from a distance.

I caught Nate’s eye from his booth where he was sitting with Sophie and nodded my head towards the stairs to signal I was heading home. Once he returned a nod in understanding, I exited the pub. I put effort into not making eye contact with anyone else to reduce the chances of being stopped. All the same, I wondered if anyone else noticed I left, or if Eliot would tear his eyes away from Mikel to see me leave.

I didn’t even want to know.

A/n: Reblogs and comments are welcome and encouraged! Thank you for reading!

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