#fic: cl
Text
captain’s log
pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
genre: college!au | fratboy!au | sexual themes (minors DNI)
word count: 8.7k
warnings: lots of drinking, profanity, a tiny bit of sexual content, suggestive language, sunghoon biceps, y/n is a serial party-goer, fake frats, lots of semi-unhumorous banter, ft le sserafim bc i needed more characters
༄࿔˚✧ synopsis: “If you’re trying to be subtle about checking me out, it’s really not working.” You were too drunk to care, and met his eyes, “Yeah, yeah you caught me. Life’s more fun without subtlety.”
The captain's log is a form of record-keeping used by sailors to keep track of incidents, such as weather, ship sightings, and any other information about the vessel and her passengers.
CAPTAIN’S LOG ENTRY 11:30 pm please I beg of a crumb of pussy
read the continuation of captain’s log here.
It took you approximately 46 seconds to sober up after the first whoop of the sirens outside the house. Red and blue lights peeked through the cardboard panels that were haphazardly stuck in between the blinds of the windows. From the continuing booming music, the thundering steps of the dance floor, and the bumping bodies, you realized you were one of very few to realize that the party was getting rolled. And you did not want to be caught in the mess of policemen shining flashlights into mascara stained faces.
You dragged your friend Yunjin out from the middle of the dance floor, much to her disappointment as she was swaying with one of the execs in the fraternity, and snuck onto the back porch. You two stumbled into a few couples who also had their fun interrupted by the sirens. Yunjin peeked around the side of the house and groaned, “It’s always the NKT parties that get shut down so early. Heeseung and I were finally dancing!”
Seeing her pouty face, you laughed, “And he’s literally the only reason we keep coming back. Their good music cannot justify the sins that occur in that household.” While NKT had some of the wildest hazing stories, their alumni donated well to your university, so it was easy to overlook.
You and Yunjin were crouched by a bush in the house’s side yard. She whispered, “Liar, you were so into President Jeno before…”
You snickered and responded, “Okay, and I still am, but he never comes to parties anymore. Plus, you did not just call him president.”
She laughed. “That’s who he is!”
The music shut off abruptly and you rolled your eyes after hearing screams from the partygoers. That meant most of the officers were likely already in the house yelling at kids to leave, so you and Yunjin quietly went through the side fence of the house to make it into the street.
Frat row wasn’t too far from your shared dorm with Yunjin, so you two opted to trudge through the neighborhood in your short skirts rather than call a taxi. It wasn’t until your head hit the pillow that you realized you were still very drunk. The you of tomorrow morning would not be happy.
Parties weren’t your thing until Yunjin joined a sorority this year and dragged you to come to a few, and you realized just how fun it was to be the messy one for once. You thought this was her way of trying to lull you into her sisterhood, and whether it actually was or not, you didn’t mind. It was funny to watch the unknowing first year frat pledges hit you with all sorts of philanthropy collab ideas at parties after you lied and introduced yourself as the president or outreach chair of some random sorority.
The next day, a Friday, you woke up with a throbbing migraine and with leftover eyeliner smudged on your pillow. You definitely missed your 10 am tutorial. Much to your surprise, you found Yunjin already awake, typing away at her desk, equipped with a sheet mask. She, too, missed her morning class.
After you returned from a shower, you called out to your roommate, “Wanna hit the dining hall for-” you looked at the clock, showing a valid 12:11pm at this point “-for lunch?”
Yunjin did not bother to look away from her laptop, “Can’t! But can you get me a sandwich or something? I have this killer paper due and I need to finish it before we go out tomorrow.”
You stared at her blankly, not that she would be able to see it, “What do you mean go out? Again?”
She stopped, “Why are you acting surprised?”
“I just assumed you’d want to go out with your sisters or something.”
“You know I prefer you,” she pointed a finger gun at you dramatically, “and you can’t admit that to anyone or else we’d both die. Also, this is a homecoming party of a frat house neither of us have been to yet! I don’t want to miss out.”
You thought about the long week ahead of you as you shoveled food onto your plate. You forgot to ask where Yunjin was planning on taking you, but it mattered less in comparison to the assignments you wanted to get ahead on before the weekend’s festivities took you completely. While you were wrapping up a sandwich and some food for Yunjin, as if on cue, she texted you.
you remember that Heeseung is in the hockey club right? he just invited us to a party at their house tonight … come thru?
“I think you have a problem, another weekend like this and you’re going to have to pay for my liver transplant,” you said to Yunjin when you returned.
She stuck her tongue at you and threw a crop top your way, “Take this as a gift in return for the food! And you’ll be wearing it tonight, thank you very much.”
---
Midterm season was upon you and with the addition of a frat-not-frat sanctioned event courtesy of Yunjin, you needed to get as much work done as possible. You made a deal with yourself that you’d complete at least one of two of your pending report papers, otherwise, no new frat homecoming party tomorrow.
You managed to find a table by the south side windows of the science library, and laid out your necessary notebook and textbook for the treacherous anthropology report you were about to bullshit the hell out of. Two hours into your frantic typing and at least 30 Google tabs later, you realized that one of the sources you wanted to use was locked online, and all the “legal” databases to surpass the paywall didn't have it available. Upon closer inspection, the source’s website indicated that it was available at certain universities, including yours.
You decided to take a break from typing. Your lingering hangover and the eye strain from your laptop screen were begging for a rest. So you cleaned your table and went to find someone to help you find the book you needed.
There was a crowd of 4 boys around the circulation desk, cackling over things unknown to you, and definitely distracting the boy working at the counter. They were exuding mischief, one of them trying to reach over to clack on a computer, and you recognized the one of them, Jake, jumping to sit on top of the counter. You stood in line, scrolling through your phone as you waited to be called to get help.
The areas of the library where the IT and circ desk were not necessarily meant to be quiet places, but you were surprised the group of boys didn’t get scolded considering how they were holding up the line.
A student walked by and shushed the group, interrupting them as they were doing their best to ruffle the boy’s hair over the counter. They scoffed at the passerby, but lowered their voices. You took this as an opportunity to clear your throat, finally grabbing the attention of the circ desk worker. He offered you a sheepish smile and shooed away his friends. The boy was about a head taller than you, sporting a black distressed long sleeve and now haphazardly messy hair.
“Oh, sorry babe - didn’t see you there,” snickered one of the boys. He had sharp features and a confident smirk. The group stepped backward to let you through to the counter.
The boy behind the counter shot the other guy a glare after that comment and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry about my friends; how can I help you?”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes and shoot a glare yourself, choosing to ignore the group. “Seems like you're new here or something. They seem to be excited to visit you.” You glanced pointedly, as two of the guys had their phones out, likely taking a picture of their friend.
The boy extended a hand out to try to cover his exasperated face from their photos.
You continued, holding up your phone to reveal a screenshot from the library website, “Wondering if this book was still available?” The boy squinted and nodded silently, typing away on his computer to look it up.
“Yeah, it is. We have one copy on the 4th floor. Are you familiar with how the books are sorted here?”
“Honestly no, I usually use stuff online, so this would be the first time I check out something from the library.”
The boy smiled in understanding, then glanced between you, his friends - now distracted by a couple girls you recognized from Yunjin’s sorority, and the empty line behind you. “I can help you find it, if you’d like?”
You gave him a small smile, “Yes, that’d be really helpful.”
“Sunghoon, by the way. And you were right, it's technically my first day off of training,” he said as he met you on the other side of the counter, by the elevators. Seeing him up close, there was no point in denying that he was cute, especially with the furrow in his brow he wore due to the thought of his friends. His friend group were still talking to the girls, one of them with an arm shamelessly around one of their waists. Sunghoon looked exhausted, but amused, just looking at them.
You laughed as you introduced yourself too. “Don’t worry, I get it. My roommate ate at my old part-time job every day I was working for the first month. Just try not to let them get you fired,” you advised jokingly.
The conversation between Sunghoon and you flowed smoothly. Over hushed whispers through the library shelves, you learned he transferred to your university that semester, and was studying Kinesiology.
“It’s kind of a jock major, I was surprised,” he muttered as he ran his fingers over the spines of some books, turning his head sideways to read the titles.
You frowned, “Why? You don’t play sports?”
“It’s not that, I just wasn’t expecting to have to take activity classes. It’s like high school P.E. all over again.”
Even though he was matching the library volume, Sunghoon was soft spoken, and he was funny without trying. You explained how you were studying Human Biology with a minor in anthropology, and he picked at your brain about the paper you were writing.
“No, Sunghoon, sociology and anthro are not the same.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Wait really? I took a socio class before and it’s literally what you’re describing.”
“I think you should stick to your kines classes.”
Sunghoon hummed. “We’d probably take some physio classes together, I reckon?” He suggested, realizing the science similarities in your degrees.
“Oh! Yeah, you’re right.” Judging on how well you two were talking even in this short amount of time, you added, “Maybe we can study together or something.”
A pause.
Sunghoon was distracted, squinted behind you at something. You bit your lip to try to ignore the disappointed pang in your chest and your internal facepalm for trying to make a pass at the cute boy from the circ desk. Following his gaze, you realized that he had found the book you two were looking for.
Your mild small talk continued during the walk back to the circ desk, and you exchanged goodbyes after he assisted in checking out the book for you, his group of friends no longer in sight.
“Hope I’ll see you around,” Sunghoon waved.
You spent the rest of the afternoon holed up at your desk in your dorm room, typing, flipping through pages, and blasting audible adderall playlists out loud. And from the corner of your eye, you could see that Yunjin was doing the exact same.
The two of you finished around the same time, and decided to bring food from the dining hall into your dorm to eat while you and a couple of Yunjin’s sisters pregamed for the night. You decided to omit your encounter with a cute boy in the library while you guys were discussing your afternoons.
Yunjin was laughing, “We were literally so crazy, rapid fire typing next to each other while Y/N’s stupid Mario Kart songs were playing.”
Mouth full with pizza, you argued, “Don’t act like that music didn’t help us finish our papers. This could’ve been avoided, but you want to drink at every opportunity possible.”
She mocked your tone, “Don’t act like you don’t feel the same!”
The other girls, Chaewon and Kazuha, giggled at your dynamic, and poured everyone another round of shots.
---
The hockey club was basically a fraternity of its own, Chaewon explained to you as you all arrived, just less exclusive. It was a place for brothers in different frats to have their own camaraderie between each other, and their parties were open to anyone. You could feel the vibrations of the music’s bass in your ribcage.
As you three pushed through the crowd into the kitchen, Yunjin off to find Heeseung, Kazuha pitched in, “I heard one of the players that just graduated agreed to supply all the alc tonight.” You stared at the tubs of jungle juice and the tens of lingering bottles on the back counter. Even the sink was filled with beers and seltzers.
“He must be fucking rich,” Chaewon yelled over the music.
“Mark definitely comes from a wealthy family,” shouted a voice next to you. You turned and realized it was a boy from the library, one of Sunghoon’s friends. He smiled, and leaned in closer to make sure you heard each other, “Library, right?”
You did your best to ignore the two piercing stares behind your head from your girl friends, and nodded. He was dressed in a sailors outfit, white yacht cap and all. You could smell the whiskey from his breath.
“Jay,” he extended a hand to each of your friends and flashed Chaewon the same confident smirk you saw at the library. “Would you all like a drink?”
“Y/N.” You shook his hand and despite the alcohol flowing in your veins, you replied, “I think we know better to not accept drinks from strangers.”
He teasingly frowned, “Hey, we’re on a first name basis; I’d think we’re at least friends now. Right?”
Chaewon gently nudged you with her elbow, sending you a hint. “Surprise us,” she said.
You took a deep breath before downing the cocktail Jay put together, a mix of coke and Hennessey. Mark, whoever he was, really was rich.
Safe to say it was just you and Kazuha left for this part of the night; you didn’t mind when your friends found boys to dance with, there was plenty of alcohol and music for you to have fun yourself. At some point in the night, Chaewon wove herself back through the crowd to find you two, her hair a little displaced and more intoxicated than you last saw her. She brushed it off as “It’s hot in here!” even though you caught a glimpse of her following a boy in a yacht cap. You left the dance floor to find the bathroom, heading to the front of the house where you saw a line of people before.
The music was quieter here, though the front of the house was still crowded with people cheering and laughing, at least you felt like you could hear your own thoughts again.
You cringed seeing the line of people all waiting for the bathroom. Desperately, you looked around a couple hallways for another open bathroom, but all other doors and staircases in the house sectioned off with caution tape. There were too many drinks in your body, you had to go.
“Now it looks like you’re the one new here.”
You turned around to meet eyes with Sunghoon’s neck, he was awfully close. He took a half step back upon seeing your surprised eyes, but gave you a smile.
“I didn’t know you were in the hockey club?”
“I know the guys - a bunch of jocks in my classes, remember?” Sunghoon looked more relaxed. His outfit looked identical to Jay’s, also sporting the yacht hat. You could see that his hair was now styled and less messy than what you had seen in the library earlier. And considering the heat of the house and your own sweat that clung to your forehead, you were surprised to still catch a whiff of his cologne. His white shirt was loosely buttoned, revealing several inches of his chest, his skin smooth. Sunghoon leaned down to whisper, “If you’re trying to be subtle about checking me out, it’s really not working.” He smelled strongly of coconut rum, explaining his boldness.
You were too drunk to care, and looked him right in his eyes, “Yeah, yeah you caught me. Life’s more fun without subtlety.” You grinned, “So what’s with the outfits?”
“The boys wanted to match, Naughty Nautical was their wording,” he shook his head with a smile. He noticed the quirk of your eyebrow, “and no, I’m still not on the team.” Sunghoon motioned to a long strip of poster paper hanging on a wall by a clock near the stairs. He pulled you towards it to get a better look at what was written. “You didn’t see the ship decor?”
---
CAPTAIN’S LOG
10:05 pm - You must refer to each player as Captain or Sailor tonight, or you will be kicked out.
10:06 pm - HOUSE SHOT
10:07 - TEAM SHOT
10:10 - LADIES SHOT HAHA
~
10:32 - Tri Delt is here!! <3 :)
10:33p who asked -Heeseung BRUH LMAO -jake
10:46 - HOUSE SHOT NUMBER IDK :D
10:52PM - ur gonna regret letting the freshman riki in >:)
10:58 pm - Riki just ate shit on the stairs -JW
~
11:12 pm - FUCK I MISSED 11:11, but I still wish for pu$$y
11:20pm - LOL Same.
11:23 pm- i a m drunk ..
11:30 pm please I beg of a crumb of puss for my boy Jay please add him on snap here: jjongseong420
You reach over to scribble something on the log too.
12:34 AM - where is the bathroom
Sunghoon laughed and offered a hand for you to take. You were surprised that his fingers intertwined with yours, Am I about to get laid tonight? you drunkenly thought to yourself.
Sunghoon lifted a strip of caution tape for you to duck your head under first, before following suit himself. You let go of his hand to grip the stairs’ side rail and heard him stifle a laugh or two behind you as you stumbled up. The first bathroom you two encountered was unlocked and you quickly shut it as soon as you opened it. You clenched your eyes and paused for a second to convince yourself that you did not just witness your best friend’s naked limbs woven between those of the frat boy she’s been talking about for the past couple of days.
Sunghoon didn’t take the hint and laughed out loud, “Holy shit, was that Heeseung?”
“I think I’ll need another drink after that. Maybe a whole bottle.” Sunghoon kept laughing at that.
After finding an actual available bathroom, you found Sunghoon waiting for you, typing on his phone with one hand, and carrying an unopened bottle of Malibu in the other.
“Ask and you shall receive,” he smiled, raising the bottle when he noticed you stepped out.
Your eyes widened, “Jesus, I didn’t mean I wanted to actually drink a whole bottle.”
“No, stupid,” Sunghoon chuckled. He was certainly more playful when he was drunk. “I was going to share this with you, and offer you to take the rest home.”
You rolled your eyes, but smiled. “Well, at least you chose my favorite.” Your hearing was a bit muffled after making it somewhere where the beats of the songs didn’t ring your eardrums. “This house is nice enough to have a balcony somewhere, right?”
Sunghoon nodded, “Follow me.”
The balcony was accessed through one of the bedrooms down the hall, you stared at the width of Sunghoon’s shoulders as you walked behind him. You didn’t say much as you two sat on the bench outside, overlooking the front yard. There were other patrons loitering outside, a beer pong table set up, and a couple or two making out by the fences. The midnight breeze lightly shook the branches within your reach.
Sunghoon was pretty much a stranger for all you knew, yet you didn’t mind letting him take you through the house. At least he was a very cute stranger, he seemed different from the other boys you’ve met at parties so far. By now, considering you two had been alone for a while, any other boy would probably have tried to stick his tongue in your mouth. And yet, the conversation continued as smoothly as before, or well as smoothly as a pair of intoxicated students could manage. Sunghoon talked about a story or two about some of his friends, and you told him about why you chose to pursue your minor in addition to medicine.
“It’s just fun to get away from the quantitative stuff, and learn more about the human experience,” you babbled. “I want to apply to this abroad program in Prague, where you spend 2 weeks on an archeology site.”
Sunghoon stared at you, amused, “It’s kind of ironic that you wanna dig up dead bodies, while learning how to treat live ones.”
You bumped his shoulder with yours, and watched as Sunghoon took a couple more swigs right from the bottle before offering it to you, letting his fingers graze yours for a couple seconds too long. You could still feel the rage of the party downstairs, and you found it nice to be away from the center of it.
“So, do you at least play hockey with them? Or is your friendship with the team solely professional and from class?”
Sunghoon smiled, “No, not a hockey person. We’re solely transactional, I do well on our group projects, and they give me free alc.”
You nodded, seemed reasonable to you.
He made a face at how you accepted that so quickly, “But no, yeah, I also help them train. I’m an assistant coach on the side? At the rink downtown?”
“I know our hockey team is mostly composed of skinny boys, which is already unusual… But you?” Your eyes traced down his slim figure, “A coach?”
He poked your forehead, “Hey, I know my way around a puck better than half those guys. But nah, I figure skate. Help kids break into their first set of skates. But with the team, it’s usually to help with movement, speed training.”
“Damn, I didn’t think you could get any hotter,” you blurted out, honestly surprised. Usually you’d feel at least some regret admitting that, but the way Sunghoon’s ears burned red? Priceless.
“It’s not something I really admit; I got teased a bit before I got close to the guys. Had to score a couple goals against those bastards before I got them to admit a triple axel was cooler than any dekes they’ve learned.” He smiled faintly.
“You finished your paper, yeah?” You let him change the subject a couple beats later.
“Yup, that book really helped.” Sunghoon lulled his head around with the faint music, “I was just cruising right after we found it.”
“Hmm, I feel like I deserve a reward for helping you.” You know what, maybe you were a bit wrong about Sunghoon. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he didn’t seem that soft spoken as when you met him earlier that day. You were suddenly aware of how much his leg burned against yours.
“I mean, I can think of some ways,” you slurred, the liquid confidence drawing out each syllable, the words leaving your mouth before you could think of the cringe it would cause you the next morning. Sunghoon was unabashedly staring at your lips and you couldn’t resist yourself from smiling. Maybe he wasn’t so different, but you didn’t mind.
It was he who made the first move, his hand pressing lightly on your thigh as he leaned towards you. You fluttered your eyes shut, fully anticipating his lips against yours, only to open your eyes in confusion a few seconds later after nothing. He was biting his lip to not burst out laughing, his hand now stroking the top of your thigh. “Sorry, I just- it’s fun to tease.”
You squinted your eyes at him, and pulled his hand off your thigh. His eyes widened as you moved to straddle him, the poor bottle of Malibu tipping over to flavor the balcony with coconut. “Try to tease me again and you’ll see.”
Any ounce of his playfulness was erased, one hand rushing to grab your hip and the other reaching for the side of your face. He sealed his lips over yours and you eagerly tangled your fingers in his hair, knocking over his stupid boat captain hat.
You felt his tongue press into your mouth and you let him in, your lips moving messily against his. You let out a groan as his hips grinded underneath you and you felt him smile.
You held onto a shoulder and one of his biceps, feeling it tense as he pushed your ass further down onto him. His other hand moved from your jaw to the front of your neck and you let out a loud whine; this time Sunghoon pulled away with a short chuckle, cocky as hell, whispering, “Be careful. The people under the balcony might hear you.”
“Jeez, Sunghoon, are you an exhibitionist or something?” You teased.
His fingers, now brushing the front of your throat. Under the dim light of the moonlight you could see the swell of Sunghoon’s parted lips. He playfully rolled his eyes and scoffed, but said nothing.
You smirked and continued, “I only want you to hear.” And you swore you felt Sunghoon throb under you.
He picked you up, which seemed easy for him, given his arms, and carried you back into the bedroom - whose ever it was. He reconnected your lips, a hand sliding underneath your skirt as soon as your back hit the sheets of the bed. You pushed him off for a second, your hands clumsily reaching for the buttons of his shirt, eager to feel what was underneath. He watched as you traced your hands up his now bare chest, and you pulled him back in. He pulled the strap of your tank down, exposing more of you as he traced his lips, then his tongue, down your skin. You felt the graze of his teeth and you drew in a sharp breath.
Though you had to help him with the clasp of your bra with a giggle from you and a shut up from him, his tongue moved expertly over your chest. Sunghoon’s other hand pressing into you over your panties, and as he began to tug on them to free you, you couldn’t help but push your hips up to rush him, eager for his touch.
And as you felt his fingers slip inside of you, the door swung open, another busy pair of bodies stumbling towards the bed. And, obviously in the darkness, you screamed, but so did Sunghoon. And so did the other couple. “Wait… Sunghoon?” The guy said, his voice sounding surprised and almost proud?
Surely you couldn’t show your face at the hockey house anymore after this, you thought to yourself as you hurriedly clothed yourself, thankful you were only topless.
It was your first time getting walked in on, and considering what you witnessed earlier that night, at least you and Yunjin had a common story to laugh about tomorrow morn- err afternoon. After pushing out of the bedroom, Sunghoon, however, was still burning red, maybe from the alcohol, but also the embarrassment. You laughed as you poked his cheeks.
“Well, I guess you should be out there with your friends, doing keg stands or something?” You asked.
He chuckled too, thankful you were nonchalant about everything, and leaned down to kiss you again. His lips were gentle this time, and still sweet from the liquor. He held your hand as you headed down the stairs together. Your activities sobered you up so you two headed to the kitchen for more fuel, finding Yunjin and the other girls. After a couple more drinks with your girls, you didn’t even notice that Sunghoon had left your side at some point. Craning your neck over the still plenty of dancing bodies, you frowned, unable to see his tall self.
Yunjin noticed your disappointment, side eyeing the crowd as well. “Who was that guy you came down with?”
“Just met him today, he’s no one I guess.”
---
CAPTAIN’S LOG
1:32a WHO TOOK MY FUCKING LEFT SHOE -yangyang :(
1:40am - I have a small peen -jisung (Delta Rho Pledge Class)
2:02a - LOL YO SUNGHOON VIRGINITY IS NO MORE! VIRGIN
2:20am - ^ NO FUCKIN WAY HOON???
2:33 am - ^ IT WAS ME I TOOK IT LOL -JAKE
WAIT THE SHOE NOT THE VIRGINITY
---
And again, you and Yunjin opted for stumbling through the dark neighborhood back to the dorms instead of calling a cab, the other girls begrudgingly joining you.
Yunjin slurred, “I can’t wait for the morning recap later,” her body landing on her bed with a soft thud.
You giggled at the thought of it too, although you frowned at the memory of Sunghoon leaving you in the middle of the night. It wasn’t wrong of you to be disappointed that he didn't want to continue what you had started, right? You thought of your conversations throughout the night, and even in the morning when you had first met him, wondering if you said something wrong. You grumbled in bed, bothered by how he made you question yourself, even though he knew you for less than a day. Just another night at a party, you convinced yourself, before drifting to sleep.
You woke up nauseous, your instincts kicking you out of bed to run to the toilet. After seemingly endless minutes of gagging and thoughts of regret, you lifted your face out of the toilet to see Yunjin in the doorway, looking at you pointedly.
“Damn, you had fun,” you muttered, letting out a pained giggle after seeing the marks on her neck.
She scoffed, helping you up from the floor to stand behind you in the mirror. “Look at yourself.” While not as dark or as many as hers, you traced a finger where some red bruises were trailing your collar.
After a hot shower and plenty of water, you met up with the other girls at the dining hall for breakfast. Yunjin and Chaewon were obnoxiously laughing, recounting the story about some freshman tumbling down the stairs in a Sailor Moon costume.
Chaewon laughed, and paused to think. “I learned that I might not be into roleplay as much as I thought.”
“No…” You glanced around, looking out for any eavesdroppers.
“He kept the hat on and referred to himself as Captain before he went down on me.”
Yunjin gagged. “My biggest takeaway from last night? I guess, him… the biggest…”
It was your turn to gag.
The other girls continued to pry for more detail, and you got up to get some more water before they could pounce on you for your story. Your headache was pretty much gone at this point, but the nauseous feeling lingered. You spotted a boy with dark hair by the drink station and felt your nausea take a turn.
“Hey,” you gave Jake a small smile. He was in your major, so you had chatted with him a few times in some shared classes. “Was wondering if you knew how that freshman was doing?”
Jake turned and looked at you, and snorted as he tapped on his phone to bring up an image of the poor child, Riki, he told you was his name, tumbling down the stairs in a skirt. “The attention he’s getting from that is distracting him from his concussion.” He tapped again to show a Snapchat story of the boy himself, the tools of a hospital examination room behind him, with the caption i’m ok. “See you at the HYB house tonight? I’ll make sure there's enough Malibu,” he flashed you a vague smile and walked off.
You frowned as you made your way back to your table, eager stares from the girls. “My night was uneventful! My takeaway is that it is far more fun to dance with you guys, than to be off in the corner with some guy,” you stated as you sat down. It was true - hookups weren’t ever on your party itineraries. Kazuha and Chaewon cheered you for that, but you met your best friend’s eyes and knew she was going to spare you just this time.
Jake’s comment bugged you the rest of the meal and continued through the rest of the afternoon, as you tidied your room and finished a bit of schoolwork. Give it up for frat boys to talk about you as soon as you part ways.
Since there was always room for school work to be completed, you decided to squeeze in some time at your usual library spot. As you passed the circulation desk, you half-heartedly snuck a peek to check who was working. For better or for worse, not who you were looking for.
The rest of the afternoon was less eventful, no need for Mario Party music to help you get through the last bits of a paper. Tonight’s pregame squad was larger than last time’s, with the inclusion of Kazuha’s classmate Sunoo and his best friend, the villain of the other night, Riki.
Yunjin groaned, “Are you sure they’ll even let you in?” She gave you a look that screamed, can you believe this kid? And you just laughed because forcing beef with a freshman was not something you were expecting to see from her tonight.
Riki squinted at her, “I know you. And I’m closer to Heeseung-hyung than you think, so you better watch it.”
Yunjin cleared her throat, “Alright, fine, but if they close the door on your face? I’m not gonna turn back.” Riki faked a smile and continued to sip from his solo cup.
The rest of your friends were finishing their makeup, taking shots, and obnoxiously laughing. “You know,” Yunjin pulled you to the side, “You never explained who you were really with last night.”
“You know it’s a peeve of mine to share everything I do with boys.”
“Hey! I’m just wondering if I need to keep an eye out for someone, in a good or a bad way.”
“Park Sunghoon, another kines major and groupie of the hockey team.”
Yunjin nodded slowly, obvious she was wracking her brain through all her social circles to determine what she knew of him. “Newest HYB pledge. Transfer. Ridiculously good looking and a rare attendee of HYB events - he barely rushed but he got a bid because everyone liked him so much anyway.” She paused, “I’ll err on the side of red flag since he’s too incognito in Greek, but he’s hot so just have fun?”
“Not sure if I’m going to try to indulge in that again. Didn’t even know he was in the frat. He seemed… like he thought he was above that mentality.” Yunjin gave you a side-squeeze, and a couple more glugs of her vodka concoction into your cup.
“He sure as hell looks the part though. That’s what makes ‘em fun.”
The HYB house was larger than any frat home you’d stumbled your way into. It included a nice, curved driveway - now crowded with shivering bodies - and a stairway entrance. Several signs, - in the chic-est of spray paint on bedsheet - cursing out your university rival, lined the top floor’s windows. And much to your chagrin, considering the run-in you had today, you saw that Jake was one of the door guys.
Your friends were going over the plan on how to get Riki in, “They’ve been begging Sunoo to rush HYB, so if they come in a pair, surely they couldn’t turn him down,” Kazuha rationalized.
Chaewon was doubtful, “Boy doesn’t know his tolerance, they might see him as a liability.”
“Can’t you just pass the door guy a couple bills and call it a night?”
“Bitch, I’m literally broke. If they say no, I’ll just sneak in from the side.”
“Well, well, well.” Jake looked your group up and down with a smirk. “Now y’all look like a bunch of troublemakers. Wait,” his eyes locked onto Riki, who was (mind you, 6 ft tall) subtly hiding behind Sunoo. “You ladies can go in, but I’m gonna have to ask about the boys.”
Sunoo rolled his eyes, “Look, we brought three girls, surely the ratio will be fine.”
“Hey Sunoo, I’m jus-”
Yunjin pulled you into the house, and hissed “I said I would not look back and I meant it.”
You were astonished by the glory of the inside. The historic style of the outside contrasted with the dark and sleek minimalism of the inside. They had invested in Real Quality strobe lights and a dedicated raised platform for the DJ set. The girls reflected your awe just the same.
HAPPY HOMECOMING was spelled out in much nicer fashion, on poster paper rather than bedsheet, along the second floor ledge.
Due to the nature of the event, the kitchen - just as pristine and sleek as the front of the house - was filled to the brim with bottles and fiending students. Frat boys were behind the island dishing out drinks.
“Heeseung’s not coming?” You asked Yunjin.
She shook her head, “His frat’s having a party at their house too, but this house is far nicer so naturally I chose HYB.” And judging by the line you saw outside and the amount of bodies pressing against you, so did everyone else.
An older looking boy even introduced himself to your group, a sober safety bro as he said, and offered a hit of his vape.
You’d be lying if you said that the possibility of Sunghoon being here (which was at least 90%) didn’t kind of bother you. Even amidst the dance floor, your eyes did an occasional scan of the perimeter. If it was paranoia or hope, you couldn’t tell the difference. You saw your genetics TA, some girls from your dorm suite, and, wait, is that Riki helping out the DJ?
Even Chaewon noticed your scanning and shoved her cup in your face, a universal signal to chill out, and enjoy the night.
It was a good time for a refill. The crowd to get drinks was less packed, but still full enough to block your vision of who was pouring.
You were using your front camera to fix an eyelash before realizing you had made your way to the front. Your vision of your reflection was immediately replaced with the embarassed? expression of Sunghoon as soon as you put your phone down.
“What can I get for you?” He slightly yelled over the music.
“Rum and Coke,” You heard yourself stammer, and hoped it would be mistaken for a drunk stumble.
Sunghoon nodded. “Yes, mommy,” he visibly cringed as you blinked at him. “Ugh, sorry, the pledges have to call the girls that tonight.” He turned around to pour your drink. You, too, turned to look the other way.
If it was any other guy, you’d be laughing, but seeing him again made you feel awkward enough already. The addition of frat pledge hazing was NOT helping.
“Here you go,” Sunghoon passed you the cup. And you stared at the clear liquid inside.
“This isn’t-“
“It’s Malibu,” he said with a smile and turned to help the next person in line.
Your many drinks later helped soothe you to your normal self, enjoying the moment with closed eyes, swaying your body next to your friends’.
At some point you and Yunjin decided to take a break from the dance floor and explore the house. “Some of Heeseung’s bros are banned from this house so they asked for pictures,” she whispered, ungracefully taking pictures of semi-occupied hallways and rooms with flash. You were so embarrassed for her.
She snickered going through the ones she just took. “This photo is so creepy; there’s a guy just sitting in this room alone, like a stalker.” The irony zipped above her head.
You two began to make your way back to the action. The DJ was hyping up the house, the music stopped - getting everyone to chant profanities about your rival school. Yunjin quickly rejoined the crowds, leaving you to stroll in through the kitchen without her.
You watched the back of Sunghoon’s figure as he poured a drink for himself, then raised his cup with the rest of the party in a cheer. He was so good-looking, even from behind.
Your mind reeled, you two hooked up and surely anyone would be willing to continue what… (rather, who) didn’t finish, right? Maybe it was self indulging, maybe it was the alcohol, but you didn’t want to stop your gravitation towards him. It was past 2am, surely you waited long enough.
“Hey again,” you said simply, tapping him on the shoulder.
“Hello, mo- Oh. Hey, Y/N.” He sighed.
You withheld your cringe. “Didn’t know you were a pledge,” you half lied (You knew.. you just learned a few hours prior!).
You were thankful that the people coming into the kitchen for refills were grabbing beers, rather than asking for mixed drinks. Sunghoon’s avoiding eyes told you he felt differently.
“It’s still a new development to me.” He was being so awkward, unlike the ramble-y, giggling Sunghoon you were with less than 24 hours ago.
“Am I speaking to Park Sunghoon, or did I meet someone entirely different last night?” You blurted out.
He offered you a polite smile, “Sorry, I just don’t really know how to go about this.”
Oh god. He was going to give you a rejection speech - a babble about how one night is one night, and how he isn’t interested in anything more. Your heart panged, were you getting desperate? Sure, you met him only yesterday, but getting ghosted already - he barely gave you any time to even recover.
He took your hand to pull you to a quieter side of the room. “Alright, if you’re not interested anymore I get it, I’m an adult, you can be straight up.”
“No! It’s not that,” Sunghoon stared at your sleeve. “It’s just that I wasn’t sure how to act… hooking up with someone at a party isn’t at all my type of thing.”
You resisted to quirk your brow at Sunghoon-the-alleged-not-frat-bro, frat bro. He noticed you were waiting for him to continue.
“And you… seemed like the opposite. I thought that you’d probably just leave me behind, so I decided it best to leave first.”
“I go for the music, the chaos, not the boys,” you shook your head. “But, I was kind of confused that you didn’t want to… continue?”
“Sorry for abruptly leaving, I didn’t really know what to say. Plus we were already walked in on, the guys are like helicopters over pledges - they’ll figure out everything so I - I don’t know - wasn’t sure I wanted to involve you.” He scratched his head, “I wasn’t expecting you’d come try to talk to me again.”
“Wow, Park Sunghoon, woman respecter, protecting me from the frat boy gossip.” You quipped. “You failed by the way, Jake made a comment to me earlier.”
He rolled his eyes and groaned - “It’s because of that stupid captain’s log. You should see the rest of it - Jungwon documented everything I swear.” Sunghoon stopped to look at your blank face, “I’m not giving a good explanation, am I?”
You shrugged.
“Fine. Let me make it up to you.”
You thought to yourself, now am I getting laid?
Sunghoon intertwined his fingers with yours again and you followed behind him this time up the staircase. The HYB stairs were tile, far smoother than your unsteady walk could handle. Sunghoon laughed at you, “If you’re like this walking on land, I wonder how you’d be on figure skates.”
“Are you suggesting you’d want to see me in public and on skates? And not in the haze of a dingy frat party?” You feigned surprise.
Sunghoon snickered, “Hey, our house is the least dingy in all of Greek.” He smiled again, “And yeah, I’d be down to see you without an absurd amount of coconut rum.”
You ignored the sirens going off in your brain about getting more involved with someone unpredictable like him, Yunjin’s just have fun, echoing in your head.
He unlocked a room’s door, revealing a typical single, dark bed sheets matching dark curtains. You noticed a few trophies on a shelf. Sunghoon frantically picked up stray clothes, “Sorry I don’t really, bring people back.” He looked at you as you leaned against the door frame for support, “Wait. You’ve had way more drinks than I have. I think we should just watch a movie? I set up pretty good speakers, my surround sound is elite.”
You snorted, “Woman respecter, certified.” You removed your shoes and climbed into his bed. The soft sheets felt good against your skin, the spinning of the room felt more obvious with your new position. The bed dipped as Sunghoon joined next to you, equipped with his laptop. The sirens in your head went off again as he slid an arm under you, pulling your heavy head against his chest. He still smelled of cologne - a tinge of spilled orange juice and fruity smoke, clinging gently on his shirt. You were more conscious of how you smelled to him, of coconut and pure sweat, most likely. Sunghoon gently rested his head atop yours. Oh god, there was no way he wasn’t breathing you in now.
Sunghoon mumbled, “You okay? Need water?” He was aimlessly scrolling through his front page of Netflix. You shook your head, then laughed pointing out Megamind under his Watch It Again list. He sat up, trying to cover his other recommendations that were all along the line of family movies. “It was for nostalgia, okay!”
You wrestled with his arm, revealing more of his lists. “Monster House I can get behind, but Boss Baby? Really?” He wrestled back, before he closed his laptop, suppressing his own embarrassed laughter with fake seriousness. Sunghoon climbed on top of you, lightly pinning your wrists against his sheets.
“You talk mad shit for someone who told me they listen to Mario Party music unironically.” You gasped.
“I did not tell you that! Plus, I’d rather be caught listening to Mario KART music, than watching a movie about a baby in a suit.”
Judging by Sunghoon’s expression, you knew you won that argument. He continued, “I might have asked around about you.”
You smirked, “Stalker, are we?” Then you realized, how did other people know that about you?
Sunghoon rolled his eyes, and decided against a comeback. He dipped his head to seal his lips over yours. He let go of your wrists, opting to grasp your chin with one of his hands, as his other supported his weight above you. You eagerly moved your lips against his, sighing.
Shamelessly, you mumbled against his mouth, “Couldn’t stop thinking about this.” Your arms wrapped behind his neck, tugging him closer to you.
You felt Sunghoon’s shoulders stiffen, as your lips trailed downwards, eager to trace lines against his jaw again.
“Hey,” he whispered. Your hand followed down the front of his chest, prying at the edge of his collar. “Hey-,” Sunghoon repeated, louder. He let out a soft groan, before you pulled away, satisfied.
“What?” you whispered, exasperated.
“If this is all you want from me, I can’t do that.” He said seriously. “I don’t want to just hook up with you, plus you drank too much.”
You cleared your throat. He was right, though he was just as playful, he seemed quite sober. Sunghoon resumed, “I’d like to just spend time with you, but if you’re seeking something else - no hard feelings.” You saw a gentle pout along his lips. You heard him, but you couldn’t resist placing a kiss against that pout.
“No! I don’t just want to sleep with you…” You looked at him, maybe the sirens going off in your head were just a false alarm. “Just promise you won’t ditch me?”
You felt his neck burn up, if it wasn’t for the room barely being illuminated by his digital clock on the wall, you knew his face would be flushed red. “It’d be hard to leave, considering we’re literally in my room,” he joked. He placed a kiss on the side of your mouth before lying back next to you, his arm sliding back under your head.
You giggled as you watched him quickly scroll past his Netflix recommendations, instead pulling up the anime genre page.
Eventually agreeing on watching Saiki K, Sunghoon’s gentle shaking from his quiet laughter began to lull you to sleep. Your last thoughts before sleep consumed you was how sweaty you felt with Sunghoon’s body heating you up, how you forgot to text Yunjin back about your whereabouts, and how criminal it was for someone to still smell so damn good.
Those thoughts were also the first ones that came to you as morning struck.
Much to your surprise, your head didn’t hurt, probably thanks to the water Sunghoon basically force fed you during the second episode. His arm was still under you, but he was now turned to face you, his other arm lightly draped over your frame - effectively trapping you in his arms.
You weren’t complaining.
Slowly, and quietly, you slid your hand to grab your phone in your back pocket. The most recent text from Yunjin, wear protection xx, with a selfie of her and RIki making kissing faces at the camera. Looks like their beef was relieved, you couldn’t help but to laugh out loud.
Sunghoon dipped his face deeper into your hair and neck, with a soft groan as if to shut you up.
Panic set in. You had to get out of there and shower. It would be an absolute disservice to this gorgeous man to keep allowing him to breathe you in.
You tried to shake him awake, Sunghoon pulled you tighter. You blinked at the intimacy of it all, sure he almost had his fingers inside you the other night but this felt far closer. It was pulling at your heart strings.
“Hoon, wake up, I’m stinky.”
Sunghoon mumbled, “I don’t mind.”
“Gross… I have to get to class.”
“Liar, Yunjin told me you have afternoon classes today.”
“Yunjin?” That woke him up.
He slightly pulled away, “I might have… inquired.”
You couldn’t hold back a satisfied smile. “Wow, I’ve known you for a weekend. This has to be a new record for me.”
Sunghoon brushed a few hairs out of your face. “You know, we actually met at the club fair last month.”
You tilted your head in confusion, “No, there’s no way - I definitely would have remembered you.” It was his turn to grin.
He bit his lip, “Well, it was more like I signed your friend’s petition, but you were at the table too. I was with Jake, you two were going over a lecture. You were too engrossed in genes or whatever, so I guess you didn’t notice.”
You hummed, “That lecture was so bad… Jake and I shared notes that night.” You watched Sunghoon’s now shy expression. “So a month, huh?” Maybe Sunghoon was a green flag.
Sunghoon covered his face with a hand, then teased, “Don’t forget you were all over me last night, practically begging for me.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“No, I think you just can’t remember with all that alcohol you drank.”
You squinted at his smug face, “Shall we call a truce?”
“Only if you let me take you out tonight.”
Tracing a finger along his jaw, you whispered, “That sounds reasonable.”
He grinned, placing a kiss on your cheek before getting up out of bed.
“Alright, I’ll take you home. Lord knows someone needs a shower.”
You pulled him back in bed to try to smother him with a pillow. He escaped quickly, laughing at your attempt and opting to practically pick you up. Sunghoon held your hand, leading you out of the remnants of the HYB house, only letting go for a moment to open the car door for you.
His hand found its way a top your thigh as he drove towards your dorm.
When he parked, you grabbed his phone from the cupholder, holding it out so he could punch in his passcode. Sunghoon grinned as you sent yourself a text.
“I’ll pick you up at 6?” He offered.
You returned his smile with a chaste kiss, “See you then.”
#enhypen fanfic#enhypen scenarios#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon smut#sunghoon x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen fluff#sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon#sunghoon imagines#peachenle fic#based on actual events by me except not park sunghoon unfortunately#4:50 am user peachenle writes a story when she should be asleep#these frats are fake dont come for me#also i know nothing of hockey#fic: cl
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caught looking: chapter 7 (knj x ksj)
summary: of course Seokjin has heard the rumors. most of them boil down to this: kim namjoon will get fired from the kiwoom heroes after this season is over. he’s the kbo’s youngest manager in history, one of korea’s darlings, always on every 30 under 30 list, and everyone is sure he’s about to tumble from the tower he’s built. or, namjoon is probably going to lose his job and seokjin is probably never going to make his dad proud, but they have a better shot at overcoming those two things together than they ever have alone.
pairing: seokjin x namjoon
rating: e for everyone for now but there is adult content in later chapters so no minors pls
genre: etl, fluff, eventual smut
au: baseball, specifically the kbo
warnings/tags: idk... swearing, drinking, and general sports things? some blackmail kind of and discussions of homophobia in sports. a drunk ex being drunk and pushy. eventual smut of the gay variety.
wc: chapter: ~4800
chapter summary: jeongguk has them all figured out, and seokjin finally figures out one very important thing
hello! here are chapters one two three four five and six if you'd like them. or the whole thing is on ao3 here . thank you!
***
Even before Seokjin officially started at Kiwoom, he thought bringing Jeongguk onto the team would be a good idea. Now that it’s a done deal, he knows without a doubt it was the right move. Sure, it’s not a seamless transition, nothing is, but even though he still has to look at the positioning card with every hitter, he’s fitting in faster than anyone could have expected.
The team loves him, which is the most important thing (at least according to Namjoon, who seems to have forgotten that pitching is technically the most important thing).
Taehyung’s mood since Sangwon left has been vastly improved, and he takes it as his personal mission to spend as much time as possible getting Jeongguk up to speed. Daily now, Seokjin sees them together everywhere: the locker room, the weight room, on the field, the training room. They’re practically inseparable, and it’s done wonders for the whole rotation.
Jeongguk is slotted in second, and he’ll be starting once or twice a week. He still likes to pick up bullpen innings, but the pitching staff has cautioned against it, and Jimin agrees. They have to protect his elbow. Jeongguk is young, with a lot of potential, and overthrowing now will only lead to problems later on when he presumably will hit his peak. Namjoon explains this to him in hushed tones, and Jeongguk listens with wide eyes, like it’s the most interesting thing anyone’s ever said to him. Seokjin is sure this is one of the things people like about the kid immediately—it’s hard not to feel like you’re incredible and important when someone’s looking at you like that.
And he always looks at Namjoon like that.
Seokjin isn’t at all a little jealous, but only because he thinks that the way Jeongguk is so obvious about thinking Namjoon is incredible might make the way that Seokjin thinks so, too, a little less obvious. Or, he hopes it does, anyway.
For a week after his arrival, Jeongguk watched every game from the dugout. Everyone could tell it was making him crazy to be so inactive—he spent them pacing around and muttering to himself when he wasn’t watching each batter intently, trying to memorize every small detail about them.
Today, though, is his first start. Seokjin and Namjoon have been talking through strategy with the coaching staff, holed up in Namjoon’s office.
(When things are busy like this, and they’re focused on work, Seokjin almost forgets the unprofessional thoughts he sometimes has about Namjoon. Almost forgets laughing in a hotel room with him in Busan, almost forgets the way Namjoon sounded when he said, “I think you’re great, hyung,” in a low rasp.)
“Hyungs,” Jimin calls as he taps on the doorframe, “I think something’s wrong with Jeongguk, can you come?”
Namjoon shoots Seokjin a panicked look as they both rise and follow Jimin to the training room. There’s two hours before the game starts, about forty five minutes before they need to be on the field, and Jeongguk is sitting in an ice bath with his eyes closed and his headphones on, belting out an IU song that Seokjin hasn’t heard in years.
“He won’t move,” Jimin says. “He shouldn’t be cold like this before he starts and I can’t get him out.”
Leaning forward, Seokjin grabs one side of his headphones and pulls it away from the pitcher’s head before he lets go and it snaps back. Jeongguk’s eyes fly open and he scrambles to sit upright in the tub when he sees them all standing around him.
“Hyungs?” he says curiously as he pulls his headphones off. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you hurt?” Namjoon asks, the words coming out quickly. He’s concerned, obviously. Players don’t just choose to sit on ice unless they’re injured and Jimin makes them.
“No, I would’ve told you if I was, why?”
The poor kid looks genuinely confused.
“Most people don’t use the ice unless I make them,” Jimin says. “And you’ve been in there a long time.” He bends over and grabs one of the pitcher’s feet, hauling it up out of the water as evidence. “You’re getting wrinkly.”
Jeongguk smiles brightly. “This is my pre-game ritual! Being in the ice bath sucks, right?”
All three men around him just nod in agreement. Jimin and Namjoon look as bewildered as Seokjin feels. “It does,” he agrees. “So, why are you in there?”
“Because then, when things are hard during the game, I remind myself that I made it through the ice bath, so I can make it through anything.”
It would be insane if he didn’t look and sound so completely genuine about it.
Namjoon is the first to say something. “That actually… makes sense I guess.” Jeongguk nods happily. “But you should get out soon, okay? We need to get your arm warmed up.”
“Yes, hyung. I promise.”
Jimin still looks horrified, but something about how earnest Jeongguk is about the whole thing makes Seokjin think it will be okay. He steers Jimin away and leaves Namjoon and Jeongguk to talk through any last minute adjustments or ideas for the game.
“He’s a weird kid,” Jimin says. It comes out slowly, like there’s more to the sentence that he doesn’t add.
“Yeah, it seems like it.”
“I think I like him.”
“Me too, Jiminie.”
***
Whether it’s because of the unusual pregame preparation, his talent, or something else, Jeongguk pitches a nearly flawless game. Seokjin and Yoongi watch from the box as he sails through seven innings in 92 pitches. It’s not perfect, but it’s about as close as anyone would have imagined.
Yoongi is grinning like Seokjin hasn’t seen him do since university, and every once in a while, after a particularly well-delivered pitch, he slaps Seokjin’s thigh and bounces up and down in his seat a little, like an excited kid.
“How’d you know he could do this?” Yoongi asks, pleased.
“I didn’t.” Even Seokjin is surprised at the performance. “I knew he could keep the ball on the ground, but I didn’t realize he would get so many strikeouts, too. It wasn’t like that in Busan.”
“Taehyung’s influence?”
Seokjin shrugs. “Must be.”
Winning with Jeongguk as the starting pitcher brings Seokjin the kind of pride he’s always chasing. That silent confirmation that he’s good at what he does, that he knows how players will work (or not) together. It’s a win for the players, of course, but it feels like a personal victory, too. He even gets a text from his father telling him it was a good call to bring over the kid. Praise from Minjun is always sparse and feels hard-won, so even though Seokjin stopped measuring his worth by his father’s approval a long time ago, it still feels good.
By the time he makes it down to his office after the game, he’s in a great mood, ready to have a victory drink with Hoseok and play video games until he thinks he might have carpal tunnel syndrome. Yoongi told him to take the next day off, so he’s extra optimistic about how much progress he’ll be able to make in his game that night. It’s been a long time since he’s let himself indulge in foregoing sleep to play more, but he might allow himself that luxury tonight.
He’s packing up his bag and thinking about what delivery to order when there’s a knock on the door.
“Hyung?”
“Oh, hi Jeonggukie! You worked hard today, thank you.”
Jeongguk smiles wide, his teeth on display. “Thank you, hyung! That’s why I’m here, actually. I wanted to, well, thank you for the opportunity. I know you convinced everyone that I belonged here, and I’m glad you did.”
“Me too,” Seokjin agrees. He keeps packing, but Jeongguk makes no move to leave the doorway. “Is there something else?”
The pitcher nods quickly. “Yes. Some of us are going out to celebrate and I was hoping you would come, since I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”
“Oh, that’s nice of you to ask, but I’m kind of busy—”
Suddenly, Namjoon appears next to Jeongguk in the doorway. “Are you coming with us?” He looks like he’s just gotten out of the shower and changed, his hair still damp and sticking to his forehead in places.
Well, this changes things, even though it shouldn’t.
“Yeah, of course. Just let me finish packing up.”
Jeongguk looks between him and Namjoon and won’t wipe the shit-eating grin off his face. Seokjin knows he’s been caught, and he just hopes the kid has enough goodwill toward him to keep his mouth shut.
Luckily for Seokjin, he does. Instead, as they walk to the subway, Jeongguk grabs his sleeve and pulls him to the back of the group, teasing him quietly. “I know your secret, hyung,” he whispers. This earns him a flick on the forehead which is enough to distract him from the way Seokjin flushes with embarrassment. Soon, the two of them are half-walking and half-wrestling all the way to the station, where they start getting looks from every passing adult, wondering why two grown men are tackling each other down the escalator.
“Everything okay back there?” Jimin calls when he and everyone else make it to the bottom of the escalator well before Seokjin and Jeongguk.
Jeongguk freezes and looks embarrassed. “Yeah!” he shouts back. “Hyung flicked my head.”
“Hey! You tried to trip me!”
“You took my hat!”
“You deserved it!”
They argue all the way to the train when Namjoon finally asks if he needs to separate them like they’re his children.
“No!” They both practically yell at the same time, before turning to look at each other and then bursting into laughter. He can’t even remember what they were fighting about in the first place when, out of the corner of his eye, he catches Namjoon watching them double over with a fond look on his face.
They suck it up and behave for the train ride, just quietly kicking each other to see who can take it the hardest without flinching or making noise. By the time they make it to the same sort-of divey sports bar he’d met Yoongi and Namjoon at weeks ago, he’s sure his shins are bruised.
It’s loud in the bar, and thankfully, Jeongguk is distracted enough by everyone offering to buy him drinks that he finally leaves Seokjin alone for a while—long enough for him to find a booth to slide into and text Hoseok to see if he wants to meet up with them. Before long, a pink cocktail gets set right in front of him, and Namjoon takes the seat across the table.
“What’s this?”
“Dunno,” Namjoon shrugs. “Told the bartender my friend liked disgustingly sweet things, and he sent me back with this.”
Next to him, Yoongi snorts. “You’re a dick,” he tells Namjoon.
Yoongi’s right, but Seokjin takes a sip of the drink anyway. Unfortunately, it’s delicious.
“You like it?” Namjoon asks.
“Yeah, thank you.”
The three of them don’t even have time to start a conversation before Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk are pouring themselves into the booth, too. Jimin sits, of course, across from Yoongi, right next to Namjoon, and smiles at him sweetly before he whispers something in his ear. Seokjin feels a little sick, the now familiar combination of jealousy and guilt making a home in his stomach again.
At the other end of the table, Taehyung and Jeongguk are rehashing the game excitedly. Even though he’s not really involved in either of the conversations, he’s glad he came. It’s not an all-night gaming marathon, but it’s just as nice (maybe better) to see Yoongi and Namjoon arguing the finer points of modern defensive strategy—Yoongi is surprisingly pro-shift and Namjoon thinks it ruins “the spirit of the game the way it was intended to be played”—while Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk passionately debate who would be better at darts.
“It’s obviously me,” Jeongguk says confidently, taking the opportunity to flex his bicep.
“Sure, you’re good at throwing things, but darts is about finesse, and Jiminie is the most graceful person on the whole planet,” Taehyung retorts.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “You haven’t seen me try to be graceful. I can be graceful! Plus, you’re biased.”
Jimin laughs, clearly pleased with the attention. “You’re right, Jeonggukie, he’s my soulmate, after all. Also, he might win. He’s willing to cheat.”
“Hey!” Taehyung protests, but it’s all a show. He winks at Jimin when Jeongguk isn’t paying attention, instead looking around the bar for an empty dartboard.
When he spots one, the three of them scramble out of the booth to prove who’s the better player, but Seokjin just feels frozen listening to them.
Yoongi and Namjoon don’t seem to have been paying them much attention, because they’re still talking about how any change to baseball ruins the sport (Namjoon), and modernization isn’t always evil (Yoongi).
“Doesn’t that bother you?” Seokjin blurts, absolutely interrupting their conversation.
“What?” Yoongi asks.
“No, not you. You.” He points at Namjoon. “Doesn’t it bother you that Jimin calls Taehyung his soulmate?”
At the question, Namjoon looks thoroughly confused. Maybe it’s some sort of open relationship thing? But that, from the apparently kind of traditional man who thinks the designated hitter would be some sort of death blow to the institution of baseball and everything it stands for, seems unlikely.
“No,” he says carefully. “Why would that bother me?”
“Well,” Seokjin says, gesturing a little wildly, “because of— well, because of you know! You and Jimin!”
Namjoon says nothing, just continues to look at Seokjin like he has two heads. Yoongi, for his part, smirks, looking like he’s about to burst, and asks, “What about Namjoon and Jimin?”
“I saw you!” Seokjin whispers loudly to Namjoon. “In Itaewon, remember?”
Yoongi is in full-on hysterics now, laughing so hard he’s wheezing. Seokjin isn’t quite sure what the joke is.
“You saw us…” Namjoon says slowly. “You saw us, and you thought we were… together?”
“Obviously,” Seokjin replies.
It’s no longer clear if Yoongi is even getting any oxygen, he’s flushing and has tears on his cheeks and every once in a while he just slaps the table.
“Seokjin. Hyung.” Namjoon is amused now, a dimple poking out as he smiles at Seokjin and speaks softly. “You know that Jimin brought your roommate home that night, right?”
“What?”
“While you and I were out, Jimin brought Hoseok home. And, if I’m not mistaken, he’s done it after that several times.”
Seokjin feels dizzy. Logically, he knows the booth isn’t moving, but it seems like it is. He feels hot and dizzy and a little confused because Hoseok had been trying to tell him, and there may have been other signs—like Namjoon showing up to Seokjin’s hotel room in Busan, or falling asleep on his shoulder, or just the sheer amount of time Namjoon seems interested in spending with Seokjin and not Jimin.
“So, you and Jimin…” he says weakly.
“Are friends. From college. Like you and Yoongi.”
“And Jimin and Taehyung?”
“I’m pretty sure they share a brain cell, but they’re definitely not together. In fact…” Namjoon points to the high top where the three of them are playing darts. Jimin is giggling while Taehyung practically hangs off of Jeongguk, and he’s either whispering something to the pitcher or sucking on his neck, Seokjin can’t tell. “I think Jimin’s been trying to play wingman since Jeongguk got here.”
Yoongi, finally not laughing anymore, chimes in. “Pretty sure that’s not the only match he’s been trying to make.”
Namjoon hides his face and whines at Yoongi, “Can’t you go back to shutting up?”
Seokjin can’t even process that, he’s still stuck on the fact that Jimin and Namjoon aren’t together. Which means that all this time…
“You’re single?” Seokjin chokes out. It’s not any more embarrassing than anything else that’s happened in the last several minutes, but asking does make his neck hot and probably his ears turn pink.
It also throws Yoongi back into hysterical fits of laughter.
“Painfully single,” Namjoon confirms before taking a drink of his beer.
“Oh.”
“You know we have a no-dating policy on the team?” Yoongi reminds him for absolutely no reason because Seokjin is definitely not thinking very hard about what Namjoon looks like shirtless now that he’s decided he’s allowed to, since Namjoon is confirmed single.
“I think you’d better remind Taehyung of that,” Namjoon says, tilting his beer toward the high top, where things are escalating past the limits of public decency.
“You’re their boss,” Yoongi says quickly. “I’m not going near that. Actually, I don’t think I need to be here for any of this, but thanks for the entertainment.” He scoots out of the booth and pulls his coat on. “I’ll see you in a couple days. Don’t be stupid. Or, don’t be more stupid than you have been.”
Seokijn and Namjoon give a coordinated eye roll at their boss and wave goodbye.
“So, do you want to talk to them?” Seokjin asks, nodding toward Taehyung and Jeongguk. Jimin looks positively gleeful watching Taehyung say something to Jeongguk that makes the pitcher choke on his beer.
“No fucking way,” Namjoon says, shaking his head. “Once Taehyung decides he wants something, it’s futile to try and stop it.”
“Try and stop what?” Jimin asks as he approaches the table.
“Nothing,” Seokjin and Namjoon respond in unison.
“Mmhmm… Well, have fun, hyungs. I have to go meet Hobi.”
Seokjin squawks. “My Hoseokie?”
“Oh, hyung. Cute. But I’m pretty sure he’s mine now,” Jimin says with a wink.
“Should I…” Seokjin trails off, not sure how to ask.
“Nope! You’re safe. He’s coming to mine. See you on Friday, hyungs! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Namjoon mutters something about the list being impossibly short, which makes Jimin cackle as he shrugs on a denim jacket and walks away.
“I can’t believe you thought—”
“Shut up,” Seokjin interrupts. “Respect your hyung.”
Namjoon is laughing, and he’s gorgeous, and Seokjin finally doesn’t feel guilty for thinking so. It makes him practically giddy.
“I’ll respect you by buying you another drink?”
“Sure Namjoonie,” he says, placated, as Jeongguk and Taehyung approach the table.
“You’re leaving, too?” Namjoon asks.
Jeongguk has the decency to seem a little bit embarrassed, but Taehyung has no shame. “We sure are. Gonna go practice.”
“Practice?” Seokjin repeats, an eyebrow lifted.
“Yep! But I think Jeonggukie is doing the catching this time, if you know what I—”
Namjoon lets out a loud groan and drops his head to the table. “Stoooooop, please,” he whines, muffled.
Thankfully, Taehyung and Jeongguk leave after that, and if Seokjin didn’t now know more about their potential sex life than he ever wanted to, it would be cute—they’re hand in hand, and Jeongguk looks absolutely smitten.
“Well, it’s just us again,” Namjoon notes as he lifts his head back up.
“Yeah,” Seokjin says, the atmosphere suddenly a little awkward. Or, at least he feels a little awkward. Now that he knows Namjoon is single, and he thinks maybe what he’s been feeling isn’t entirely one-sided, he doesn’t actually know what to do. They work together, which complicates things, and Seokjin hasn’t even tried with anyone since Seungwook (which didn’t really boost his confidence for obvious reasons), so he’s a little at a loss for what comes next.
“Still want that next drink, hyung?”
Namjoon’s voice sounds a little wobbly and his knee is bouncing, like maybe he’s nervous. And when he smiles at Seokjin across the table, kind and sort of hopeful and a touch shy, Seokjin thinks maybe, for the first time since even before they met, they’re on the same page.
He thinks back to the night they walked all over town, and how brave Namjoon was at the end to tell him about Sangwon, and Seokjin thinks maybe, this time, he can be the brave one.
“Another drink sounds good. Want to come back to my place for it?”
Seokjin can’t remember the last time he brought someone home. He tries to be respectful of Hoseok, and Seungwook wasn’t really into getting to know Seokjin that well, anyway, so it’s been a long time. So, the taxi ride to his is quiet—he looks out the window and tries desperately to remember how much dirty laundry is on his floor (thank god for Hoseok being a neat freak so Seokjin’s room is the only one he needs to be concerned about), and Namjoon is still bouncing his leg like he was at the bar, only now, Seokjin can tell he’s also occasionally sneaking glances when he thinks Seokjin won’t notice. It’s sweet.
Once they’re inside, it starts to miraculously feel more normal between them pretty quickly. Namjoon busies himself looking at the photographs and figurines around the living room while Seokjin makes them drinks. Neither he nor Hoseok really drink beer, but he does have some whisky around from last time Yoongi came over, and Namjoon seems happy enough with that.
“Did you want the tour?” he asks, handing Namjoon a rocks glass.
“Sure! I like it already,” Namjoon says. “It’s so different from my place.”
“Yeah?”
“You’ll have to see it sometime.” Right after he says it, he grins and covers his mouth with his free hand, like he can’t believe he said it.
“Smooth,” Seokjin remarks, feeling a little more confident than he can remember feeling in… forever.
“Was it?”
“No, but you’re cute so I’ll allow it.”
Namjoon laughs. “Cute? No one says I’m cute.”
“Ah, well,” Seokjin shrugs. “It’s the dimples. Without them you’d be a five at best.”
For a second, it’s like Namjoon isn’t quite sure if Seokjin is joking or not, but then they make eye contact and both burst into laughter. It helps to make Seokjin feel like the nervousness is leaving his body. It’s nice.
“Tour?” Namjoon cocks his head toward the hallway when he catches his breath, and Seokjin leads the way.
The apartment isn’t big, but there’s plenty of space for both him and Hoseok. They each have a bedroom, Seokjin explains that Hoseok has the master because Seokjin is a benevolent hyung who is always willing to make sacrifices (even though it’s really because Hoseok does most of the chores and keeps the place clean and it’s the least Seokjin can do).
When they get to Seokjin’s bedroom, Namjoon pays more attention, asking him about his gaming computer and all the things that go with it, looking at his shelves carefully, like he’s cataloging little facts about Seokjin as he goes. For his part, Seokjin doesn’t think there’s anything that exciting about any of it, but it’s keeping Namjoon entertained, which is putting off anything awkward.
He’d got Namjoon to his apartment, but now that they’re there, he’s nervous about everything (or nothing) that might come next.
Finally, after answering Namjoon’s one hundred questions about MapleStory, it gets quiet.
“It’s not that interesting,” Seokjin says as he sits on his bed. Namjoon’s spinning half circles in the gaming chair, complaining that it’s so much nicer than his office chair and that he should get one like it for work in between asking who all the characters in the game are.
Namjoon sets his drink on the desk, and Seokjin tries not to cringe that there’s no coaster—at least it’s not in a room where Hoseok will notice.
“Maybe I just like to hear you talk,” he says, planting his feet so the chair stops spinning and he’s facing Seokjin directly.
There is a 100% guarantee that Seokjin’s ears are pink. “That’s a line, Kim Namjoon.”
He gets a smirk in response. “Not if it’s true.”
The air feels summer evening thick between them, despite the aircon running in the apartment. Seokjin swears he can practically feel it hanging there, the way that birds know before lightning strikes. He swallows, and even his throat feels syrupy slow.
“What is this, Namjoonie?” he whispers, realizing that somehow, since Namjoon stopped spinning, they’ve been moving closer together, imperceptible movements compounded to the point that he can feel Namjoon’s breath on his lips.
“I think this is me about to kiss you,” Namjoon replies, and all the teasing is gone from his voice. “If that’s something you want.”
Seokjin nods. “Yes, pl—”
“Hyung! I’m hooooome!”
Hoseok.
Namjoon and Seokjin both drop their heads at the same time, and knock them together. Seokjin yelps and spills his drink all over himself and the bed, while Namjoon groans before he starts laughing.
Seconds later, Hoseok appears in the doorway. “Hi hyung… And Namjoon-ssi.”
“Hey, Hobi,” Seokjin says. “I, uh,” he gestures to his whisky-covered shirt. “I should go clean this up and change.”
Standing, Namjoon clears his throat before grabbing his glass and downing the rest of his drink. “I should go,” he says. “It’s pretty late.”
The disappointment Seokjin feels is palpable, and apparently written on his face, because Hoseok looks apologetic, and Namjoon asks quietly, “Walk me to the door?”
Luckily, Hoseok takes the hint and says goodbye to Namjoon, excusing himself to his room, and Namjoon uses the restroom, giving Seokjin the chance to change into something not covered in alcohol. Without thinking much about it, he pulls on an old hoodie that had been strewn across the back of his desk chair. It smells a little like Namjoon now, and he’ll never admit how much he likes that.
“I had a good night, hyung,” Namjoon says, when they meet back in the living room.
“Me too. Sorry about Hoseok,” he replies.
Namjoon just laughs quietly and shakes his head. “Terrible timing.”
“The worst,” Seokjin agrees.
“Maybe we can try again, sometime.”
“I’d like that.”
Namjoon steps closer to him, pulling him into a hug. It’s nice—he’s warm and bigger than Seokjin, and it reminds him of hugging in Busan, except this time he’s able to let himself enjoy it more. It’s everything he can do not to just melt into it as he wraps his arms around Namjoon’s waist. “You know we have a no-dating policy on the team,” Namjoon teases in a whisper, mimicking Yoongi from earlier at the bar.
“Is there a no kissing policy, too?” Seokjin asks, lips brushing against Namjoon’s pulse, feeling his breath hitch.
“I hope not,” Namjoon sighs.
As they pull apart, Namjoon leaves a barely-there kiss on his temple. “I’ll call you,” he promises.
Seokjin feels like his head is on fire in the spot Namjoon’s lips touched his skin. It’s incredibly distracting. Enough that it’s all he can think about, wants to touch the spot to see if it actually feels warm. He’s so busy thinking about it, that the reply he comes out with is, “Not if I call you first.”
Namjoon laughs again—and Seokjin’s seen his laugh so many times for so many reasons, even just tonight it’s happened more times than he can count, but he’s pretty sure he’ll never stop wanting to be the cause of it.
“You’re a dork,” Namjoon says.
“I think it works for me,” Seokjin says, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie.
“I think so too.” It’s so fond, Seokjin wants to scream into a pillow like a teenager. “Goodnight, hyung.”
Namjoon gives him a sweet smile as he leaves the apartment. It’s totally reasonable, Seokjin thinks, that he watches Namjoon as he leaves, watches him wait for the elevator and flushes when Namjoon gives him a wave before he gets on, and then peeks through to give him another before the doors slide closed.
Back in the apartment, he slumps against the door with a sigh. He can’t believe he was so close to having Namjoon’s lips on his, can’t believe that he’d been so wrong this whole time, can’t believe that his crush seems to be just as into him. Everything he’s been thinking about the past couple of months is almost about to be his reality, and he’s thrumming with excitement. If only he’d been able to act on it.
He hates waiting sometimes. Seems so unfair after all the time they’ve already wasted. Seokjin lets out another long sigh. He’s going to call Namjoon in the morning, but first, he’s going to kill his roommate.
#seokjin fic#namjoon fic#seokjin imagines#bts imagines#bts fanfction#kvanity#seokjin x namjoon#fic: cl
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Justice for Joris: Charles Leclerc
Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader
Genre: fluff🌥️ social media au 🌟
About: Joris being the Steve in Charles relationship aka where fans wants justice for Joris
lando.jpg
Liked by peirregasly, carlossainz55, your_username and 69.7 k others
Tagged: your_username
lando.jpg: after party🥂 with the lovebirds
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Username06: they're so cute
Ferrarigirl: Charles looks so good
F1fan09: thank you for the pics lando
Charles.ynfan: lmao Joris💀
Your_username: @joris_trouche why are you making that face
↪️Charles_leclerc: he's fed up with us😂😂
↪️lando.jpg: honestly even I'm fed up with you guys
↪️Joris_trouche: honestly can you blame me @your_username the things I had walked into🫠
↪️Charles_leclerc: @joris_trouche as if I wasn't the one third wheeling you for years
↪️16fangirl: spill the tea👀👀
vettelfan: poor Joris😭
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#f1 instagram au#charles leclerc imagine#f1#charles leclerc x you#formula 1#fic rec#f1 imagine#charles leclerc x female reader#cl16 fanfic#cl16 imagine#cl16 x reader#cl16#cl x reader#charles lecrelc#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc headcanon#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc insta au#charles leclerc instagram au#charles leclerc instagram edit#f1 social media au
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I just want to tie someone up, naked, blindfolded, with their whole body exposed at my mercy. I’d trace the lucky girls sides with a makeup brush, eventually teasing their armpits to warm them up. Your nipples start to stiffen up, a sign that you’re ready. I’ll tease your nipples with the makeup brush, tickling them until you start losing your mind. Once you’re drooling in more places than one…I’ll move down to your pussy, tickling your lips with the brushes, teasing your ass in between. I’ll ignore tending to your clit until you beg for it, and once you do, I’ll tickle it all night long until you turn into a hot, giggly and wet mess~.
#tickling armpits#sadistic tickling#nsft tickling#nipplay#cl!t tickling#tickle thoughts#tickletorture#tickle fic#tickle content
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Hi, love your fics!! ❤️❤️ Could I request a charles x reader? One where she's also a driver (your choice which team) and she's from Poland and their flags just look like 🇵🇱🇲🇨 and it's like a "funny" coincidence to the fans or something, maybe it's a charles and y/n thing to always point out how similar their flags are
★ IF YOU CANT BEAT ‘EM, JOIN ‘EM | CL16
Scenario: time and time again, your flag gets mixed up with your boyfriends’, and vice versa. this time around, something a little more interesting than just a mixed up flag happens.
Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader (mclaren driver)
A/N: i’m so sorry this has taken me so long to get to! thank you so much for your patience 🫶🏻 this is actually such a cute idea, i love it. i hope you enjoy the fic! <3 ALSO THIS IS MY FIRST CHARLES FIC ‼️WHO CHEERED?
charles_leclerc
liked by arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, f1, yn_ln, and 1,360,155 others
charles_leclerc good to be back on the podium…even with the flag mishap. i wouldn’t want it to be any flag but @/yn_ln’s.
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yn_ln i could say the same for your flag. congrats on p2 baby you deserve it! 🥰
scuderiaferrari if you can’t beat them join them. right @/yn_ln ?
⤷ yn_ln 👀
⤷ rizzciardo hey so what does this mean lol
landonorris get a room
⤷ yn_ln bet 🤭
leclercnorrisrussel WE CAN BE WORLD CHAMPION I SAID
lovelyleclerc yk its a good day when yn and charles are on the podium together
lovelyleclerc WAIT A MINUTE WTF DO YOU MEAN FERRARI
yn_leclerc
liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, landonorris, alex_albon, georgerussel63, and 864,562 others
yn_leclerc (accidentally) took his flag, joined his team, and now taking his name. 🤭❤️
thanks lando for taking the pictures 🫶🏻
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charles_leclerc through sickness, health, and mixed flags 😂
⤷ yn_leclerc forever and always baby ❤️
landonorris thank god i don’t have to spend another year with you
⤷ yn_leclerc just bc we aren’t gonna be teammates doesn’t mean we aren’t friends 🤨 you’re not getting rid of me that easily mister. also i gave you photo credits i expect you to be nicer
pierregasly congratulations ❤️ love you guys
maxverstappen1 💙
georgerussel63 congrats guys 💙
carmenmundt so happy for you both! congratulations, mr and mrs. leclerc! ❤️
paularon_ @/arthur_leclerc can be the flower child at the wedding!
lovelyleclerc SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ARE YOU SO SERIOUS RIGHT NOW
ferraricharles BABE WAKE UP YN AND CHARLES ARE ENGAGED
stardustf1 serving parents more than ever with this one
yn_leclerc and scuderiaferrari
liked by charles_leclerc, alex_albon, f1, paularon_, arthur_leclerc, landonorris, and 876,542 others
yn_leclerc a wise man once said “if you can’t beat them, join them” and join them i did. 🤭 can’t wait to see what the 2024 season brings!
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charles_leclerc i love you ❤️ can’t wait
⤷ yn_leclerc i love you more
oscarpiastri thank you for the seat
⤷ yn_leclerc your welcome pls take care of lando
⤷ thumbsuplando CRYING I ALREADY MISS YN AND LANDO SO BADLY
scuderiaferrari happy to have you! 🥰
lovelyleclerc everytime i get the notif that you post, i go insane. i just wanted you to know that!
norrisnation i’m gonna miss you in mclaren but im so happy for you 😭🧡
ynsnumberone MOTHER
⤷ rizzciardo it truly isn’t a yn post if there isn’t someone in the comments calling her mother
thank you for reading! all feedback is appreciated! — dae <3
💌 | @renarots @jsjcue @lovstappen @illicitverstappen @treehouse-mouse @minkyungseokie @lokietro @spidersophie @arkhammaid @vellicora @stopeatread @motorsp0rt @leclercvsx @cixrosie @piasstrisblog @vroomvroomverstappen @harrysdimple05 @sadieurlady @fastcarsandshit @kortneej81 @i-love-ptv @pretty-little-bunny382728 @elliegrey2803 @yagirlhayes
#✩ . cl¹⁶ files 🏎️#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#formula one fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 smau#f1 x female reader#formula one smau#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one blurbs#formula one fluff#formula one x reader#formula one fic#ferrari x reader#ferrari f1#f1 x female driver#f1 x y/n#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc social media au#charles leclerc fluff
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In Ray & Frog, Rayman and Bullfrog wear a few different outfits!
I drew them out for reference purposes for my screenshot edits and for ease of imagining for my readers!
You can try to parse out whatever spoilers you please from these images, or just take them as silly things I drew. The choice is yours <3 I hope you enjoy their cute little looks!
Transparent versions under the cut
#sav art#rayman#cl rayman#bullfrog captain laserhawk#cl bullfrog#clh#clabdr#captain laserhawk#CLABDR au#rayfrog#Ray & Frog AU#upcoming fic#fanfiction#my fic
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Wine and Whisky (part one)
Charles Leclerc x fem reader smut
18+
“Celebration?” Charles had paused in packing up his things to turn and look at her, raising a brow at her excited gaze. “Of course, you won. At Ferrari, that’s worth celebrating.” She smiled softly at him, wanting to bring some lightheartedness to an awful season for him. She simply assumed he would brush her off due to his exhaustion from the resent race. He had already decided that going out to a club and celebrating with the other drivers was not a wise idea.
“Merci, Cherie.” Charles spoke rather softly. She pulled out a bottle of Madeira for herself and a bottle of bourbon for Charles, knowing he’s not fond of red wine. “Well, cheers to you or something.” She raised her glass, offering a smile he could not resist. He touched their classes before taking a sip. “Or something.” He inhaled sharply, not expecting the proof of the alcohol to burn his throat so much. “Still wine then?” He almost giggled out, looking at her fondly.
“You will never get me to like whisky, Charles, never.” She spoke, chastising him for thinking such a thought. “Well, it was worth a shot.” He began to walk a way from the table, with her following him through the hotel room, towards the bed. This was nothing new, he would often walk her around the room, no matter where they were. He was always a gentleman. The only difference now, was his lingering stares.
Charles drank up his whiskey with ease, and she was left to ponder every single one of her choices that got her here. She witnessed all of Charles ego ooze out from the corners of his lips and the squint of his eyes in his slight wince to the burn of the alcohol. She quickly began to tilt her glass back, swallowing the red liquid. Smiling as the buzz began to set in. Was it from the alcohol? Or from how fast she threw her head back? Or the barrage of Charles’ pretty eyes looking over her, like she was the calm after the storm. She stopped caring about the reason, only focusing on the feeling.
She took slow steps across the room, her fingers brushing along the lip of a shelf. Drinking her second glass of wine, she took a glance at Charles, and something was behind his eyes. “Curious.” He suddenly spoke, breaking the heat of his gaze as he looked into his glass and swirled his drink around. Anticipating his next set of words, only taking the few steps towards him to pour yourself another glass. “What is curious?” She asked noticing how deep in thought he was, like he was trying to find the right words to articulate his next sentence. He was careful about the things he said, and more often than not, the things he said were always something that could be latched onto for days.
The clunk of the nearly empty wine bottle on the table seemed to rattle her body like it was hollow, and all that could be heard was beating hearts. in tune was the beat of her heart. He knew that’s she would somehow figure out his ulterior motives for bringing her into the bedroom. Even if she was the one bringing drinks. “What do you mean?” She whispered out, walking back towards him. Charles began to smirk at her fane innocence. “No, no, no Cherie.” He reached out, pulling her toward him. Her hands ghosted over his neck and jaw. “There’s more to this than a simple celebration, right? Tu es une vilaine petite coquine.”
She swallowed hard while his hands roamed up and down her hips. “And what if there is more to it than that?” She spoke with the intention to pull an answer from him first, but her voice was far from confident, it was almost too quiet with a quiver along the edges, all from his teasing. Of course, Charles knew better than to fall for that kind of bait, and it seemed he knew just how to get what he wanted. Or perhaps she was just submissive for him, she just couldn’t resist. “I’d like to hear it from you.” He darted his tongue out, licking his lips. “Oh come on, you know. Don’t make me say it.” Her heart rate began to rise, pupils dilating and breath quickening.
Lust filled his eyes as he pulled her impossibly closer, drinks still in hand. “Suppose I do know.” Charles said slowly, his voice a much lower octave. It was so quite, almost as if he was worried the press would hear. Her eyebrows raised at his words, and she lowered her glass, knuckles brushing the fabric of his shirt where his chest was. While he leaned in, she tilted her head down, sill between his legs as he was sat on the edge of the bed. It was just a breath away, and now she could really smell the whiskey on his lips. She wondered silently how the bourbon tasted on his tongue, and Charles smiled as if he knew what he was thinking. “I think you should give it another go.” He said, almost mocking her. Yet he softened the blow by grabbing her jaw lightly, pressing his thumb to her bottom lip. She felt almost pathetic, giving in so easily.
All it took was a slight tug for her to take him up on the offer, moaning almost immediately as Charles pulled her in; giving no room to move as his arms snaked around her waist. With one hand on the back of her neck, the kiss started slow and then quickly became passionate. The thick taste of whisky coating her lips caused heat to rise to her face. The edge of the glass was pressed lightly into her back making it arch slightly. With his teeth nipping her bottom lip and the slight pressure on her neck she hummed out his name, his response was to turn them over and gently push her down on to the bed.
There was stumbling as Charles began to drag her back with him, giggles in between and quiet gasps with the slip of a tongue, very poor attempts to keep each other’s drinks upright. “Charles, I could’ve spilled the whole glass.” She huffed out, holding the glass high as she laid against the white bedding and looked up at him. Charles was standing just between her knees, he lowered his gaze, slowly taking the whole view in, savouring the sight the best he could.
Without a word, he simply pulled the drink out of her raised hand and set both glasses on the side table. It was a silent for a moment. Until he climbed over and caged her head just between his arms. His gaze was hot and hungry, the way his eyes raked over her with restrained desire had her squirming once their eyes met. “Look at you.” Charles whispered slowly, a drawl to his voice that caused goosebumps. “I wonder if you taste like the wine you rave about so much.” With his fingers dragging down to her neck, he wrapped them around her throat with a warm sense of security, her eyes flutter shut and she swallowed against the palm of his hand. Charles could feel her pulses right against his fingers, licking his lips just watching her. “Give me another taste,” He spoke, it was not question, but instead a demand. A groan slipped right into her mouth, and she eagerly swallowed it down.
Charles’ hand slipped down from her throat, a whine bubbling up at the loss, only for him to dive under the hem of her top. He wasted no time while his hand wandering where it squeezed at her hip and curled under the arch of her back. The top pooled at her chest. Every pinch to her nipples, and the press of his thumb into her hip bone, there was a sweet orchestra between their lips. Charles slowly slid his hand lower on her abdomen, teasing the hem of her underwear, tugging at it. But then he paused, removing his hands fully. “Charles.” She muttered out, breathless and desperate for her lovers touch. It was not fair for him to tease her, they’d not see each other much in the past few weeks.
“sois patient.” He said, squeezing her hips, then pulling away completely, coming off of the bed. She watched in agony as Charles took her discarded glass of wine from the table; her arousal grew when came back, knees on either side of her. He took a sip from her glass, she was expecting him to swallow, but his Adam’s apple didn’t bob in his throat. Tilting her head up at him, Charles arched over her to grasp at her jaw once again and pull them in for a deeper kiss. She moaned as her mouth filled with the liquid. Her fingers grasping at Charles’ wrist as he held her in place. She found the act to be way more arousing than it should have been, and he knew her well enough that she loved it, a smirk dawning his face.
“Now let’s get these off.” Charles whispered against her lips, already tugging off her clothes and throwing them somewhere over the edge of the bed. With a chaste kiss, he pushed off of her body to kneel over, a smile creeping up his kiss ridden lips as he held the glass over her. She watched with rapt attention, gasping suddenly as wine was slowly poured over her now squirming body, the feeling was cold and warm all at once, shuddering as it splashed against her skin, it dripped down her sides; soaking into the bed. It seemed he didn’t care for the mess, completely enamored with the way the wine cascaded over her, it began to poolin the smaller divots of her body. As the empty glass fell to the ground with a heavy thud, Charles’ fingers trailed from her throat, streaks of wine following in his trail as he slipped down her body to finally grasp at her hips. He shifted his weight with a foot planted on the ground and his knee snug between her legs, allowing himself to lean over her and kiss up the wine glistened skin. The sharp drag of his teeth, the scratchiness of his trimmed beard sent shivers down every vertebrae and pulled out shaky whines from her chest the lower he went.
Watching the way Charles kneeled down between her thighs, his eyes lowering to her glistening cunt with a warm yet eager kind of hunger, the slow lick of his lips and his hot breath ghosting over her body had her head dropped back against the mattress gracefully with a blissful sigh. He kissed along her inner thighs, the sting of his teeth tugging at the plushness there as he slipped down further and further, kissing around her lips with a quite hum. Her fingers began to tug on his hair as his slightly stubbled face began to burn her thighs.
Her feet curled around the flex of Charles’ back to get him as close as possible, choking on a whine as his finger slipped between, catching at her entrance before flicking up at her clit, with hips jumping with the motion, Charles smiled; his arm coming around to press down on her abdomen, only earning a shudder and a shaky groan as her body was forced down onto the bed. “Thought I told you to be patient,” His attitude came out again, just as her thighs squeezed him closer. Although his voice alone was enough to have her rubbing her thighs together regularly. He wanted her to beg, he wanted to have her aching and squirming. Charles’ hands held her thighs down firmly, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss to her cunt, giving just a taste with the peak of his tongue between her folds. It was a delicate touch, the start of her blooming pleasure that unfurled in the depths of her core and spread up her now coloured throat, rolling out in a song of soft sighs and light hums.
He began to go slow, tongue working on figure eights, all while his fingers dug deep into her thighs, forcing her lips apart, keeping her legs on his shoulders. He was consistent in the fact he’d lose himself in her. He would gorge in the sweetness that dripped out of her aching sex. At this point she lifted her head. And what a mistake this was. The look in his eyes just edged her further, he coaxed his tongue inside, he reaction was an immediate moan, he breathing grew shallow with the addition of his fingers sliding between his tongue; spreading her further. She was practically on fire.
Charles’ fingers thrusted at a leisure pace, one would think it as a relaxing motion, but it only made her head spin. He was thorough with his movements, allowing her to familiarize with his fingers while he kissed and licked between her folds, paying extra attention to the way her fingers tightened in his hair each time he closed his mouth around her to fully drink it all up. He took her in with slow and meticulous waves, an annoyingly intoxicating way to his orchestration. Squirming in the restlessness of his pace, Charles’ pressed in closer, pushed his fingers in deeper and curled in time with a hungrier kiss to her clit.
Her jaw fell slack, voice drawled in her drunken moans, and it was just as Charles’ orchestrated with his tongue and his fingers. The way he consumed her with such grace, such vigor that all she could do was grasp handfuls of his hair and dig her heels deep into his shoulder blades. The dull pain caused him to grunt into her, causing her hips twitching against the flick of his tongue just in time. He needed this– he needed to know that only he could get her to that point. He gnawed softly at her cunt, not enough to hurt, but enough to listen to strung out whimpers and feel the burning tug in his scalp.
As he eased in a third finger, he pushed up against her walls, and in tandem his palm pressed down on her abdomen with his mouth surrounding her in the intoxicating heat. The pressure sent sudden shocks of pleasure throughout her body, everything growing taut as her vision blurred in pure ecstasy. Even as she tried to writhe, Charles’ held her down, tight and firm. Her hips snapped up suddenly and her back completely lifted off the mattress. The orgasm was a sight to behold, and a sight Charles did not miss for the damn world. Her broken and strung out cries was music to his ears, moaning in harmony with her as he continued to coax out every last bit of release. It was almost too much but the way his fingers massaged inside of her achingly slow, a painstakingly slow push and pull while he sucked and kissed delicately, her mind completely melted.
Her hips rolled rhythmically, she didn’t know if she wanted to push further or pull away, not that she had much of a choice with Charles’ hand firmly pressed to her abdomen like a scorching reminder of his presence. Soon it was too much, the haze so suffocating and the stimulation teetering on pain– with fingers curling tightly into Charles’ hair, she pulled him off with a relieved gasp.
“Fuck.” She panted heavily, realizing now how much her knuckles ached as she loosened her grip slowly. Glancing down, the blurry look in Charles’ eyes were wild yet satisfied, how his lips just barely grazed her sex had her shuddering. Soon, each kiss he planted in his venture had her trembling and whining, squirming and arching towards him. Lips finally connected again. The taste of her own arousal on his lips mixed with the faint bitterness of wine and whiskey wore her down to blissful sighs, her were hands too weak to grasp at anything but his arms as he hovered over her. “I would say how much I loved that, but I think you now know how divine you really taste.” Charles murmured just as he pulled away, With a peck to your lips, he pushed off and stood with a slight stumble in his landing, and she watched with squinty eyes and furrowed brows. Clearly, she were expecting something else, and he knew that. Even in bliss she managed to sit up.
“Charles?”
If there are any mistakes let me know.
#charles leclerc x reader#f1 smut#charles leclerc#Charles leclerc x reader smut#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#Charles leclerc imagine#charles lecrelc#charles leclerc smut#charles lechair#Charles leclerc/ reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x reader smut#Charles leclerc x you#CL:16
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RORY GILMORE & LOGAN HUNTZBERGER
GILMORE GIRLS - 5X07 - YOU JUMP, I JUMP, JACK
#gilmore girls#rory gilmore#logan huntzberger#ggedit#gilmoregirlsedit#roganedit#tuserella#faster at making gifs for my friends than at writing fics for my friends :)#cl
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The dynamic is NOT Eren gets angry, Armin soothes him. It's Eren gets angry and Armin does damage control for him. Eren slips into despair and Armin gives him hope. Armin gets tangled in his own anxieties and hopelessness and Eren comforts him. Eren encourages him, puts his faith in him, gives Armin the confidence to flourish.
It goes both ways. They have such understanding of each other, such kindness and respect the reserve only for each other (& Mikasa of course).
#cl thoughts#it not being reciprocal in fics is a peeve of mine#like Armin is fucked up too#both are mentally ill in similar ways#frustration at their lack of usefulness resulting in a willingness to sacrifice themselves#erearu#eremin#eren jaeger#armin arlert#armin#eren yeager#aot#snk#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#eremin analysis#armin analysis#eren analysis#aot screencaps
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Watching P*rn Together
Summary : Exactly as it sounds. How the discussion about watching it happens. Rating : 18+ Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader, Max Verstappen x reader & George Russell x reader. Word Count : Blurbs so short. Warnings : NSFW, adult material, porn discussion, mentions of girl on girl, threesomes and opinions of bodies. : -----------------------------------------------------------------
Charles Leclerc
- You found him watching it when you thought he was in his game room streaming.
- First you were shocked but that lasted for all of ten seconds before you opened the door and slinked over to him asking if you could watch too.
- He tried to stop it. Fumbling over the keyboard and yanking his headphones off like lightening fast.
- He was mega embarrassed and had such a guilty look on his face but when you smiled down at him and he finally opened up his lap to you
- Now in your position, you could feel his cock, totally firm and erect under his sweatpants.
- It was you that turned the porn back on, he seemed to nervous to do it himself. You pulled his headphones out before clicking the screen.
- He was watching girl on girl. A brunette and a blonde.
- As the breathy sounds of the brunette going down on the blonde filled the air you glanced at your still embarrassed boyfriend.
- He was watching it rather intently and as your hand ran through his dark, soft hair, you found it was actually was quite the turn on.
- So quietly you asked if he wanted to start watching it together; “Charles…do you want to bring this into the bedroom? I mean, we can watch it together sometimes.”
- “Really?” His voice went very high pitched and when you nodded he inhaled a phenomenally large breath “Merde….” He whispered and then nodded like he was 10 years younger than he actually was.
- He was taken aback that you were willing to do this for him and you swear you felt his cock twitch under your ass.
- Quickly, it became one of your favourite things to do with him. You both loved exploring different themes and categories, not yet finding one that didn’t have you both ready to fuck within a few moments.
- Sometimes you would even text him a hot gif you found online and he would send you a link to a scene he wanted you to watch while he was away.
- It had really worked out for the best, it made your sex life better and you were glad you walked in on him.
Max Verstappen
- It had come about in quite an unusual way, the porn discussion. He was sent a gif as a joke by his guy friends and you had answered his phone while he was driving.
- It didn’t shock you. Not at all. And it shocked you even less when Max brushed it off and didn’t even think of explaining it.
- He watched it, you knew that. He didn’t hide it or shy away from it at all. And you were accepting of it. Just like he was accepting of the fact you had a toy box under the bed. But this particular time, you thought you could be bold.
- “She’s kinda hot no?” You asked as he pulled into the apartment complex’s parking. He waited till he pulled his handbrake on to grab his phone and look at the gif of the petite girl in the video.
- “Yeah I guess. I’m not really into her boobs though. Her implants are so obvious.” You smiled at him because in fairness that was exactly what you thought too.
- He put his phone away and you both exited the car and he grabbed your hand as you went to the elevator.
- Once in side you leaned into him and asked him bluntly “Do you want to watch some together?”
- You could tell he was taken aback because his eyebrows did that thing and his eyes closed. “You’d be into it?”
- “Yeah. We can play spot the implants” you giggled and he kissed your neck and gripped your waist tightly.
- “You have no idea how long I’ve thought about asking you if you wanted to watch it with me?” He replied and as the elevator door opened, just as he reached round to squeeze your ass.
- It send an excited tingle shoot right to your dampening slit. It would certainly be an interesting evening.
George Russell
- You find it on his laptop when yours crashed and you had work to do.
- You were researching something for university and closed an important page by accident. So had to go to the search history to find how you got to the website in the first place.
- But only a few underneath the page you needed was a porn website.
- Alone, in a hotel room while George was off at practice, you were curious as to what exactly he was looking at (promising to keep an open mind about it).
- Threesomes. Male x Female x Male.
- And you sat back in your chair and thought about what you were watching. And then you thought of the ways you could ask him what it was about that particular genre of porn he seemed to be so into.
- So that night after he came home exhausted from practise and had showered, you thought it was a good time to broach the subject. Asking him to sit beside you as you found the page again.
- “Baby, I know how this will seem but I don’t want you to get mad….I just want to talk about it.” You turned the laptop around so he now knew what you were talking about. -
- George reacted a little better than what you thought he would. He watched as the clip started playing and then looked at you.
- “Is this something you want to do?”
- “Fuck yeah.” He admitted it straight away. “I mean have you watched it? It’s hot.” He smirked and took the laptop from you and now was encouraging you both to watch it together.
- You felt pretty glad you had the guts to bring it up, and that he felt so open with you to admit he wanted to try it.
- You watched two more clips and while on the fourth you turned and told him;
- “If it’s something you want to do in real life, we can find someone to join us?”
- “Really? You mean it?” His eyes were so wide and hopeful.
- You nodded “Fuck! God I love you.” He pounced on you straight away. And for the following weeks it was all George could think about.
#charles leclerc#Charles Leclerc imagine#Charles Leclerc x reader#Charles Leclerc blurb#Charles Leclerc fic#cl#f1 imagines#f1 smut#f1 fanfic#f1 one shot#max Verstappen#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen blurb#max Verstappen fic#mv33#mv#george russell#George russell imagine#George russell blurb#George russell fic#george russell x reader#george russell fanfic
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oh my goodness hello !!! captain’s log is literally the most ridiculous thing i’ve read in my life ohhhhh my days how did you do that.. it’s literally amazing im in awe and i’ll be thinking about it for the rest of my life.. like:
- all the additions to the captain’s log
- jake taking yangyang’s shoe sunghoon’s virginity
- sunghoon pouring malibu instead
- the hey mommy thing 😭
- jay just.. showing up at the start
- the part where she stared at the width of his shoulders
- the description of her checking him out
- their dynamic !!!
- him INQUIRING .. he’s everything to me THEY are everything to me
- him like actually liking her and wanting something with her .. and not hesitating to express that :(((
- the fact that riki decked it like 6 minutes after showing up
- and every single word of that fic
oh my god it’s amazing i love it i love it so much !!! thank you sm for writing it and then posting it, man.. you have such a way with words, i adore it <333
I’m absolutely not joking when i say i was almost moved to tears with this message. LOL not to get too sappy but ive been having a rough time so this ABSOLUTELY made my night - thank you so much.
fluff out of the way, LMAO THANK YOU for noticing all my little details! this was kind of a fever dream of a story, and i went through at least 3 alt endings… i started it in july, so quite evident of how indecisive i was lol. i’m SO happy you enjoyed it.
I love clowning maknaes, i made a little ode to my favorite nct u unit with the hockey club (ft. markyangjeno) and hoon.. The Man That He Is… i love a subtle, clumsy frat boy - but this One, Frat Sunghoon is Soft - Not Like the Stereotype … only in looks <3
thank you so much again for your message, absolutely floored.
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caught looking: chapter 5 (knj x ksj)
summary: of course Seokjin has heard the rumors. most of them boil down to this: kim namjoon will get fired from the kiwoom heroes after this season is over. he’s the kbo’s youngest manager in history, one of korea’s darlings, always on every 30 under 30 list, and everyone is sure he’s about to tumble from the tower he’s built. or, namjoon is probably going to lose his job and seokjin is probably never going to make his dad proud, but they have a better shot at overcoming those two things together than they ever have alone.
pairing: seokjin x namjoon
rating: e for everyone for now but there is adult content in later chapters so no minors pls
genre: etl, fluff, eventual smut
au: baseball, specifically the kbo
warnings/tags: idk... swearing, drinking, and general sports things? some blackmail kind of and discussions of homophobia in sports. eventual smut of the gay variety.
wc: chapter: ~6100
chapter summary: everything’s fine, seokjin thinks. he’s like a polar bear. an ice cube. so chill. so relaxed. everything is not fine.
sorry, this chapter's a long one... here are chapters one two three and four if you'd like them. or the whole thing is on ao3 here . as always, this is for @ugh-yoongi without whom i would not have written this, so thank you because it's been very fun
***
“Stop touching it!” Hoseok scolds.
It’s absurd that this is even happening, Seokjin thinks, as Hoseok messes with hair again.
“Why does it matter, Hobi?” he asks. “It’s a bus ride. A bus ride with tired baseball players who are all going to be watching TikToks the whole time. No one’s going to be looking at my hair.”
Hoseok pauses mid-fuss and glares at him. “Namjoon will be.”
“Stop saying that. It’s not like that.”
“I know you think he’s dating Jimin, but I don’t think it’s like that with them,” Hoseok says. “I’m pretty sure it’s not.”
Seokjin sighs. The argument is pointless, and it’s not the first time they’ve had it. He just wants to move on. Really, he just wants to throw a hoodie on and find a seat in the back row of the bus and sleep for the whole drive down. He’s exhausted. For the last two nights, he hasn’t slept hardly at all, nervous to see Seungwook when they get to Busan.
Eventually, Hosepk stops messing with his hair and lets him leave, barely in time to make it to Gocheok to catch the bus with the team. With the exception of having to see his ex, and having to act normal around Namjoon (which he’s so far been failing at), he’s looking forward to traveling with everyone. It’s good for him to get as much time watching their players and others as possible, and traveling has the potential to basically double his exposure, as well as his knowledge. He always wanted to go on the road at Doosan, and wasn’t ever deemed important enough to the club. It’s one of the many reasons he’s happier at Kiwoom.
By the time he gets to the bus, the luggage holds are almost full—he must be one of the last to arrive. Quickly, he gets his bags loaded and makes sure he has what he needs for the trip: headphones, phone, charger, neck pillow, his switch, snacks, and water. Probably more than he really needs for just a few hours, most of which he plans on sleeping through.
When he’s sorted, he boards the bus. Looking around, almost every seat is full. Jimin and Taehyung are the first pair he sees, huddled up in one of the coveted back seats. It surprises him—he figured Jimin would be sitting with Namjoon.
Namjoon, who is definitely not sitting with Jimin.
Namjoon who is sitting in the very front seat and looking at Seokjin sort of… hopefully? Namjoon who has one of the only two empty spots next to him. The other is beside Sangwon, who already has an eye mask on and looks dead to the world.
Everything’s fine, Seokjin thinks. He can sit next to Namjoon and be chill. He’s like a polar bear. An ice cube. So chill. So relaxed.
Everything is not fine.
When Seokjin sits down, Namjoon beams. It’s brutal considering all the weird feelings Seokjin’s been trying to shove deep, deep down inside, and it makes him feel like he might vomit on the bus before it even starts moving.
With a stroke of luck and what he decides to himself is also a little bit of bravery, he swallows those feelings down and smiles back, cracking a joke about bus drivers as he settles in. Namjoon laughs quietly while Seokjin pulls out his neck pillow and headphones, ready to turn on random ambient ocean noises so that he can sleep.
“What are you listening to?” Namjoon asks, pointing at the headphones.
“Oh, nothing. It’s just a white noise podcast for sleeping.”
Namjoon’s lips turn down in a little frown. Cute. “I can leave you alone then,” he says, reaching into his own bag to dig around.
All of a sudden, Seokjin isn’t tired anymore, and while he’s not sure why the thought of him sleeping through the bus ride would make Namjoon frown, he knows he wants to make sure he doesn’t put that look on his seatmate’s face again. So instead of the white noise podcast, he scrolls through all his recommendations until he finds one he thinks Namjoon might like.
“You speak English well, right?” he asks.
Namjoon perks up. “Yeah, kind of. I studied abroad, watched a lot of American TV. I’m okay. Why?”
“Bill James was on a podcast a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve been meaning to listen, but my English isn’t great,” Seokjin explains. “Want to listen with me?”
And it’s back, the bright grin on Namjoon’s face, same as when Seokjin first sat down. “Sure, hyung,” he says, and Seokjin hands him one of his earphones so they can listen together.
“He’s so smart,” Namjoon remarks about halfway through the episode.
“I only understand about ten percent of what he’s saying,” Seokjin says, only sort of joking. “But I have every translated edition of the handbook.”
Namjoon leans in excitedly—he’s practically bouncing in his seat. “You do? I need to borrow them! I can trade you for The Guide to Baseball Managers.”
“No deal. No one likes baseball managers,” Seokjin says, teasing.
Bottom lip pushed out, Namjoon pouts. “Some baseball managers are very likable,” he replies, a little whiny.
Seokjin laughs, loud and squeaky, too loud for the bus, and it earns him a little glare in the rearview mirror from the driver. He drops his voice down. “You’re right. I’ve heard Choi Wonho is really great.”
Next to him, Namjoon huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Sure, hyung. But did Choi Wonho ever share his bus snacks with you?” he asks with an eyebrow raised.
“No, but Kim Namjoon hasn’t yet, either. What’s your offer?”
Turns out, in addition to being smart, having an incredible body, and actually being pretty cool in general, Namjoon has excellent taste in snacks. It’s so infuriating that Seokjin has basically found the perfect man and he’s not available.
They share gummy watermelons and shrimp chips, and in between bites, Namjoon translates things Bill James is saying on the podcast for Seokjin whenever his brow furrows up in confusion. It’s very nice of him—it would even be sweet if Seokjin let himself think about it that way. Instead, he tries to tell himself how lucky he is to have made a new friend. Just a friend.
When the podcast ends, they still have a few hours left until they make it to Busan. Namjoon is turned around in their seat, whispering to their new second baseman sitting behind them. It’s been ages since Seokjin’s been down there without taking the KTX—he forgot how much longer it takes to drive. At least the seats are comfortable, especially with the addition of his neck pillow. It’s the last thought he has before he falls asleep, no podcast to help, just the wind whooshing along the sides of the bus, and Namjoon’s deep-voiced whisper next to him.
Seokjin wakes up suddenly, but he isn’t quite sure why. They must have hit a pothole or something, because they’re definitely not in Busan yet. He’s unreasonably warm, and feels like he’s being weighed down, and it takes him a moment to figure out what’s happening.
It’s when the reason why startles with a loud snore that Seokjin is hurtled back to reality. Because the weight on him is Namjoon’s head on his shoulder, forehead pushed into Seokjin’s neck pillow, and his mouth open, snoring against Seokjin’s collarbone. His deep breaths are warm across Seokjin’s chest, and he looks so relaxed like this: no wrinkle in his forehead like he gets when he’s trying to puzzle something out, no stress settling into the corners of his mouth, waiting for him to push his lips into a thoughtful frown.
Seokjin feels that fluttery nervous feeling again, and tries to compose himself. He gently leans into Namjoon, forcing the other man upright, until his head falls back against the bus seat instead of onto Seokjin’s shoulder again. He would have let him sleep there, but he has to pee, and he’s afraid of too much closeness with someone who has a partner already. He doesn’t want to cross a line. One time letting someone fall asleep on your shoulder is an accident, but letting it continue after you wake up feels too… intimate, maybe.
Once he’s sure Namjoon won’t slide over and hurt himself, Seokjin stands and stretches, cracking his back before he turns around, intent to head down the aisle to the small coach bathroom at the back of the bus. When he turns, though, Jimin and Taehyung are staring right at him, smirking. It’s mortifying. They’ve seen everything—which was really nothing, Seokjin tries to tell himself. People fall asleep all the time, people end up slumped over on their friends all the time. He didn’t do anything wrong, he’s maintaining boundaries, he’s sure.
Isn’t he?
He lets out a small sigh. Because even if he did do something wrong, he really has to pee, which means he absolutely has to walk by Jimin and Taehyung.
“Hi, hyung,” Jimin says as Seokjin approaches. He speaks softly, careful as they all are not to disturb everyone else, most of whom are asleep.
“Hi, Jiminie. Hi, Taehyung. How’s the ride so far?”
Jimin snickers and Taehyung grins. “Okay,” he says, “How do you like it?”
“Oh, it’s alright,” he replies with a small shrug. “I wanted a seat in the back, but I was too late.”
They both nod—everyone knows the seats in the back are best. But then Jimin says, “I don’t know, hyung, I think you’re right where you’re supposed to be.”
Seokjin knows his ears are turning red at that, probably his neck and chest and cheeks and everything else, too. It’s mortifying to be teased by Jimin. If Jimin had ever been anything but friendly, he’d wonder if it was meant to be a little cruel. He does seem to know he has something Seokjin wants, anyway. But there’s no evidence Jimin is a mean person, that he would be trying to make Seokjin feel bad with his teasing. He’s probably just trying to lighten the mood, reassure himself that Seokjin isn’t some snake trying to steal his boyfriend out from under his nose.
That must be it.
Seokjin needs to do better. It feels like every time he turns around, though, he’s in some situation that looks a lot like Namjoon returning his poor, confused, unintentional attempts at flirting.
He waves at Jimin and Taehyung when he leaves the small bathroom, and gets a couple of seats ahead of them before he has an idea and turns around.
“Jimin,” he leans down to get their attention. “Did you want to switch?”
Jimin looks genuinely confused, and turns to Taehyung and then back to Seokjin. “No, why hyung? You want to sit with Tae?”
“Oh! Sure, but I thought you might like to sit with Namjoon?”
But Jimin doesn’t exactly jump at the opportunity. He just wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “No way, hyung. You’re stuck with that snoring mess. Good luck.”
“I didn’t think it was so bad,” he remarks, confused. He doesn't know if this is some sort of couples inside joke or something he doesn’t get.
“Why do you think no one else sat by him?” Taehyung chimes in. “He drools sometimes, too. It’s gross. Next time, wear a rain jacket.”
In the seat, the two of them start laughing uncontrollably at that, doubled over on each other and barely breathing, they’re giggling so hard. It feels a little mean to Seokjin, he can’t imagine talking about his partner like that, or letting Hoseok talk about his partner like that, but maybe Jimin and Namjoon have an understanding. Every couple is different, he supposes, he just can’t bring himself to laugh along.
They can’t seem to stop laughing, so Seokjin leaves them without more conversation and heads back to the front of the bus to sit again. When he does, he goes to put his neck pillow back around himself and sees a little wet spot on the front of his shirt, right where Namjoon was snoring against his clavicle. It should be gross like Taehyung said, but instead, he thinks it’s a little endearing, especially when Namjoon stirs next to him, opening his eyes and giving Seokjin a very sleepy grin before immediately falling back asleep. Seokjin is completely enamored.
And that is far more gross than a little drool, he decides with a sigh.
***
The weather in Busan is perfect for baseball. It’s not oppressively hot yet, and the wind off the sea helps make the humidity a little more bearable. They have three games here, and it’s supposed to be about the same all three days, weather-wise, which makes Seokjin happy. He’ll have time to get down to the beach and enjoy it a little. If he’s lucky, he might even be able to sneak away for a couple hours of fishing.
It’s a little weird to be up in the stands for the first game—he’s gotten used to sitting in the box with Yoongi at Gocheok or hanging around in the dugout at practice. It’s rare that he sits in a regular seat anymore. But they don’t have away boxes at Sajik, so he sits a couple of rows behind the dugout.
Once the game starts, Seokjin remembers how great it is, though, to be down here. He’s got chimaek, he’s close enough to the MC to get to see all of the cheers and dances. If he wanted, he could probably get picked for a couple of the games they play for cheesy prizes in between innings. Sajik is special, almost as big as Jamsil, but newer and nicer, and seems to draw bigger crowds. He’s been here for games before, of course. He sat in the player’s box with all their families, trying not to explain who he was in relation to Seungwook (“just a friend” became like a mantra), trying to explain that no, his father didn’t send him all the way to Busan to spy on the Giants and neither did Doosan.
This, though, is much more relaxing, and honestly much more fun. Seokjin isn’t technically on the clock during games, he’d done all his work beforehand, building lineups and recommending potential bullpen moves with Namjoon, and so he just gets to enjoy himself.
It’s made even better by the fact that Seungwook isn’t playing, sidelined for a normal rest day. He doesn’t get too many of them, but Kiwoom should be easy for the Giants to beat, so their manager must have decided his big bat wasn’t needed.
Seokjin feels like he can relax a little, knowing he won’t have to watch his ex play.
So, he sings along with all the cheers, he drinks his beer, he eats far too much chicken, and he screams his throat raw when the Heroes finally get two runs in the seventh, and take the lead. He makes friends with the ahjussi next to him, who is also a Kiwoom supporter and buys Seokjin his second beer.
After hating his job for what felt like forever, getting dumped, and barely staying afloat emotionally, being at the game like this is the most fun he’s had in months. Halfway into his second beer, he sees Namjoon on the top step of the dugout, and he has the fleeting thought that the only thing that would make it more fun is if he could have Namjoon next to him. He tries to pedal past that thought and just focus on the game, because he can’t have that, no matter how much he thinks he wants it.
Miraculously, Kiwoom manages to hold on through the ninth and win the game, their first win in two weeks. Namjoon jogs up the dugout steps to give all of his players a high five or a good game, and Seokjin shouts for Kiwoom so late and so loudly that his new friend makes a crack about needing to take his hearing aids out because Seokjin’s too loud. It works though, because from roughly ten meters away, Namjoon looks up for the source of the shouting only to lock eyes with Seokjin and smile.
It’s the best moment of the whole game, even if Seokjin would never say that out loud to a single soul.
Because he’s a little tipsy and feeling a little carefree after the victory, he decides not to take the bus back to the hotel with the team, sending Namjoon a text that he wants to do some sightseeing. He doesn’t think he wants to be stuck in a cramped bus seat next to his crush (because a crush is what it is at this point, he admits to himself for the first time) while he’s got lowered inhibitions.
So, he walks a long route back to the oceanside hotel the team has booked. He picks up cotton candy shaped like a baseball bat outside the stadium, and snacks on it while he snakes his way through the center of the city, and when it’s gone, he hops on the subway toward the ocean.
It’s quiet on the beach in front of their hotel when he finally makes it there. The lights and late nights of Gwangalli and Haeundae are a short distance up the shoreline, but here, it’s peaceful, and Seokjin sits on a rock until his ass hurts and his eyelids feel heavy, letting the ocean’s steady thrum carry him towards sleep. By the time he gets up to his room, he barely gets through his skincare and brushing his teeth before he falls asleep, all his nerves about seeing Seungwook forgotten.
The next day, he wakes up early, refreshed, and he orders room service for breakfast before spending the morning working by the window of his room until it’s time to leave for the game. He’s trying to not think about the small revelation he had the night before. So what if he has a crush on Namjoon? There’s nothing to be done about it, anyway, so there’s no use in thinking about it. In fact, he’s come to the conclusion that the sooner he can accept it and tuck it away as something that he thinks, but won’t act on, the sooner he can move on.
Usually, he’s really good at compartmentalizing his feelings.
Usually, he’s not in (what some people might consider) a romantic beach resort setting faced with Kim Namjoon in baseball pants.
This is how he knows that life is unfair.
“Hyung, good morning,” Namjoon says brightly when he spots Seokjin in the lobby.
“Good morning. Everyone feeling good after yesterday?”
Namjoon gives a polite smile, but shrugs a little, too. “I think everyone’s trying to manage their expectations.”
Seokjin has never related to something more in his life.
“Anyway,” Namjoon continues, lowering his voice so only Seokjin can hear, “Seungwook is playing today. Are you going to be alright?”
His life, he realizes, would be so much easier if Kim Namjoon was actually the asshole Seokjin thought he would be. Instead, he has to be kind. Add it to the list of the reasons that working with him is absolutely unbearable and amazing all at once.
“I’m fine,” he answers, probably a second later than he should have. “I’m sure we won’t even run into each other.”
And they don’t. Seokjin has the same seat as the night before, next to a different ahjussi this time, this one less friendly, gruff from the second Seokjin sits down next to him with his chimaek and starts right into joining in a cheer for the Heroes. Apparently the guy likes the Eagles. Seokjin thinks the situation isn’t his fault—they may be the away team, but at least he’s sitting behind his own team’s dugout, unlike the unfriendly old man next to him.
Unfortunately, it seems like the grumpy old man is a harbinger of other bad things to come. First, Seungwook is absolutely playing, Namjoon wasn’t wrong. Second, he’s playing well. By the fifth inning, he’s batted in four already, giving the Eagles an easy lead. Namjoon is tapping his scorebook anxiously against the railing of the dugout, the players don’t look much better off. Even from where he sits, Seokjin can tell Sangwon’s in a mood, looking tense, making comments to the hitters as one after one, they return to the dugouts after their at-bats, all coming up empty handed.
They get a little life in the eighth—Taehyung hits a sharp double just over the head of the third baseman, and the recently acquired shortstop follows him with a single of his own. They’re on first and third with no outs, and they have the top of the order coming up.
The miniature rally is short lived, though. Their right fielder hits into a double play, and their designated hitter pops one into short left field. Just like that, Seungwook catches the fly ball to claim the third out, and the Heroes go into the ninth down six runs. Their whole side of the stadium deflates. And maybe Namjoon was right this morning about managing expectations, but Seokjin was hopeful. The prior day had been so promising, and even Seokjin, who knows every baseball statistic one could know (which all told him they would lose), couldn’t help but bring some of that hope with him to the game.
At least it’s a three game series. They haven’t won very many series this season, so bringing home the win tomorrow and the series with it would be a victory. He won’t let himself get too disappointed over one loss.
This time, he takes the bus with the team back to the hotel. He flashes his badge to get through the corridors behind the concession stands and merch booths, and makes his way out the players’ exit to the staff parking lot.
Unlike boarding the bus to Busan, he’s basically the first to get on this time. It’s a short ride, so he doesn’t really care where he sits, and he’s not the one who lost a game and might be wanting to sulk, so he leaves the back seats for the players and slides into the window seat of the front row after giving a short bow to the driver.
He hears them coming before he sees them, a loud rumble of dejected voices making their way across the parking lot. They file on one-by-one, and Seokjin gets friendly greetings from all of them, except Sangwon, who doesn’t ever seem to acknowledge anyone unless he’s annoyed with them or hitting on them (the poor sideline reporter that works for SBS, she can’t seem to catch a break around him—he turns every comment into an innuendo, and Seokjin has heard stories of him passing women copies of his room key anywhere he can, hoping one will finally bite).
The last two to get on, after the majority of the coaching staff, are Jimin and Namjoon. They’re laughing about something as they board, in better spirits than most of the rest of the team. Jimin greets Seokjin and walks further down the aisle, and Seokjin expects Namjoon to do the same, but instead, he pauses in front of Seokjin and says, “Is this seat taken?” just like the cheesy rom-com hero of Seokjin’s dreams. Seokjin laughs involuntarily, but doesn’t answer, assuming Namjoon’s just joking with him.
When he doesn’t respond, though, Namjoon doesn’t leave. He just waits, and his expression turns curious.
“Wait. Were you serious?”
Namjoon has the audacity to blush a little. “Yeah, can I sit here, hyung?”
Seokjin turns around, looking for Jimin. Sure enough, he’s scooted into the very back seat again, next to Taehyung. Huh. Not what Seokjin was expecting.
“You’re not sitting with Jimin?” he asks.
He just gets a confused look from Namjoon. “No, he always sits with Taehyung. And besides, I like the front seat. Makes me feel like I’m driving.”
“It’s nothing like driving,” Seokjin says as he moves his bag off of the seat next to him and makes room for Namjoon.
“I wouldn’t know.” Namjoon sits and puts his bag down on the floor between their feet. “I don’t drive.”
“No one should drive in Seoul.”
Namjoon laughs. “True. But I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’ve never had a license.”
Cute. And Seokjin hates that he thinks so. He has to stop himself from offering to be Namjoon’s chauffeur. He hates driving in Seoul, anyway.
“Sorry about the game,” Seokjin offers.
“Seungwook was good tonight,” is all Namjoon says in return before he takes a pause, picking at something on his hoodie. Then suddenly, he speaks up again, eyes fixed out the front window. It’s weird, because not making eye contact is more of a Yoongi thing. “Um… I think I’m going to have a drink before I call it a night.”
“Good idea,” Seokjin says. “Unwinding a little might be nice.”
“Yeah?” Namjoon turns to look at him. “Want to join me, then?”
Seokjin should say no. He absolutely should say no. He should say he’s tired and go straight to his room and jerk off and not think about this ever again.
“Sounds good, sure.”
Seokjin is an idiot.
Suddenly, his thoughts spiral. What is he doing? Is he even dressed for a drink? Namjoon looks nice—comfy in his hoodie and jeans that probably cost more than Seokjin’s half of the rent. Will Jimin be there? Would it matter if he was? It’s not like Seokjin should act differently depending on Jimin being there or not. God, is it hot on the bus? Because Seokjin is sweating. Profusely.
He feels a gentle touch to his shoulder. “Is everything alright, hyung?”
“I’m fine.” He gives Namjoon his best reassuring smile.
He’s not fine. He’s panicking.
By the time they get back to the hotel, he’s feeling a little more calm. He’s had drinks with Namjoon a dozen times now, this is no different. They’re peers, it makes sense, it’s not like Namjoon can get drunk and talk about his worries with the team—it would be unprofessional. So, of course he invited Seokjin. Plus, they were sitting together. It was just the polite thing to do.
He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Namjoon. “Do you want to change or anything, hyung?”
“Do I need to?” Seokjin looks down at his outfit.
Namjoon shakes his head. “I think you look great.”
It makes him want to scream. Instead, because he’s very calm and put together, he says, “So, is Jimin coming?”
“No… Do you… Do you want him to?”
“Do you?”
“No?” Namjoon looks thoroughly confused.
“Okay, let’s get drinks. What do you want? Hyung will pay.”
Namjoon orders a whisky neat, and it makes Seokjin, with his makgeolli, feel a little inadequate. He can’t help what he likes, though. Once they have their drinks, they find a low table in the corner with tall wingback chairs around it. It’s near the windows that face the sea, and even though it’s dark outside, the lights from the walkways and the resorts allow Seokjin to see the waves come in. It’s nice with the low light from the hotel bar. In any other circumstance, it would be romantic.
Seokjin is very much trying to ignore that fact.
They talk about the game in low voices until Namjoon gets the waiter’s attention and places an order for appetizers, too. He asks after each one if it’s okay with Seokjin, and adds in another round of drinks while he’s at it. When the waiter bows and leaves the table to put in their order, Namjoon takes a sip of his drink and then says, “Is it alright if we talk about something other than work, now?”
And it is, but they haven’t really done that since the night they walked around Seoul. Since then, things have been remarkably professional, which doesn’t do much to explain the way that Seokjin’s heart beats like a kick drum whenever they’re in the same room.
“Sure,” he answers, hopefully sounding less anxious than he feels. “What should we talk about?”
Namjoon hums, seemingly pleased if the small smile he gives is any indication. “Well, I wanted to ask if you were doing alright. Have you spoken to Seungwook?”
What a relief, Seokjin thinks. There’s nothing less of a turn on than commiserating about your ex with the cute guy sitting opposite you. So, definitely not a date even with the low lights and the drinks and the ordering for the table. It’s a good reminder for Seokjin.
“Ah, no. Honestly, we didn’t talk a lot even when we were together.” He’s not thinking about what that implies when he says it, but he starts to realize it when he sees Namjoon’s eyes go wide. “Oh, shit. Sorry, not like that… I just mean—I guess I was never really a priority for him. I always had to be the one to reach out or let him know I was coming to town or remind him that he was coming to Seoul and that we should meet.” He finishes his bowl of makgeolli and licks the last of the sweet wine off of his bottom lip. He’s about to finish his thought, but then Namjoon starts choking, and Seokjin stops to scoot water toward him, handing him an extra napkin, too.
“Sorry, go ahead,” Namjoon says once he’s gotten himself back together, voice still scratchy.
“Are you okay?”
“Mmhmm,” Namjoon nods, sipping the water.
“I think I should have paid more attention to that kind of thing,” Seokjin finishes.
“What do you mean?”
Seokjin lets out a small sigh. “Shouldn’t I have known? If he really wanted to be with me, he probably would have made it a priority, right? It’s like all those ridiculous magazine articles about how you know he’s not into you.”
Luckily, this makes Namjoon laugh, and he doesn’t choke this time. “Five signs he’s cheating,” Namjoon pipes in, “And they’re all somehow vaguely your fault.”
“Exactly! I’m a cliche, Namjoonie.”
Quietly, and mostly into his drink, Namjoon says, “I think you’re great, hyung.”
If given any time to respond, fueled by makgeolli and an irresponsible amount of unearned self-confidence, Seokjin might ask Namjoon what that means, exactly. But just as he opens his mouth to speak, the waiter appears with more drinks. Hopefully, the food is coming soon, too, because Seokjin doesn’t need to be any more intoxicated if he hopes to not make an ass of himself.
With the distraction, his bravado fails him, and all he says is, “I think you’re great, too,” before he hears his name hollered across the quiet hotel bar.
“Seokjin-ah! Seokjin-ah, it’s me!” The voice gets louder, and because of the way their table is situated, Namjoon can see the person approaching before Seokjin can, and if the look on his face is any indication, the voice belongs to exactly who Seokjin is afraid that it does.
“Kim Namjoon, right? I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”
“Hello, Seungwook-ssi. It’s nice to meet you,” Namjoon says with a tight smile and a bow.
Two things become clear to Seokjin fairly quickly. First, Seungwook is drunk. He reeks of liquor, probably something expensive that’s somehow made to smell cheap just by its association with him, and he’s leaning enough of his weight onto Seokjin’s chair that he’s already scooted it over a couple of inches. The second thing is that whatever is happening is likely to go very poorly for Seokjin.
“So, is this a date or something?” Seungwook slurs, a little too loud for the room. Namjoon visibly cringes and Seokjin can’t remember a time he felt more mortified in the recent past.
Thank god for Namjoon, who collects himself much faster than Seokjin and replies (in a complete non-reply, and Seokjin is only a little disappointed). “Is there something we can help you with? What brings you to the hotel?”
Seungwook smirks, and it’s awful. Seokjin can remember a time when he thought Seungwook was infinitely attractive, when a look like that directed at him would make him feel special, wanted. Now it just makes him feel like he needs a shower.
“Well,” the slugger says slowly, “I heard from the guys that you all were staying here, and I just had to come see my Jinnie.”
Before Seokjin can stop him, the back of Seungwook’s hand comes to caress his cheek—though, since he seems to have limited motor control, it just sort of flops against Seokjin’s face, clammy and unwelcome.
In his chair, Seokjin shifts so that he’s out of reach again. “And it’s great to see you, hyung, but I’m in the middle of something. Maybe we can catch up another time.” Silently, he hopes it’s enough to get his ex to leave, but somehow, he knows it won’t be.
“Come on, Jinnie,” Seungwook slurs. “Don’t you wanna have a good time?”
The look on Seokjin’s face must make it obvious how uncomfortable he feels, because Namjoon stands and tries to gesture for Seungwook to leave. “Seokjin says another time, so maybe you should go. If he wants to see you, he’ll call.” His tone is more like he’s talking to a child than a bulky infielder who has at least three inches on him.
Seungwook, drunk and never very polite to begin with just sneers. “Yeah? And how much do you know about what Jinnie wants?” He takes a step toward Namjoon. “You fuck all your staff? Or just the pretty ones?”
Namjoon’s face tightens. He’s too polite to get loud—Seokjin doesn’t think he’s ever heard him raise his voice (except the one time he got strangely excited about Pokemon bread) or yell. Not even at Sangwon, and Seokjin is pretty sure Namjoon has wanted to yell at him more than a couple times. He narrows his eyes and sticks his jaw out, but he doesn’t really posture like some people do—doesn’t try to make himself bigger or more intimidating. Honestly, if this weren’t one of Seokjin’s more embarrassing moments in life, he’d think it was pretty hot. Instead, he’s just trying to figure out how to get Seungwook out of there without causing a scene.
The hotel bar is quiet, but the people in it know them. They’re players, staff, reporters who came down with the team. Obviously, there are people he doesn’t know there, too, but he doesn’t want to end up on the news or in dispatch for something so mortifying, either. His father would disown him. Yoongi would never let him live it down.
Moreover, he’s pretty sure the last thing that Namjoon needs right now is an article about getting into a fight with one of the KBO’s best players over defending Seokjin’s honor.
Worse than his father disowning Seokjin, he’d definitely fire Namjoon for that kind of press.
So, against his better judgment, he stands, too, and puts his hand on Seungwook’s arm. It’s not even friendly, just enough to get his attention.
“Why don’t we go somewhere and talk?” Seokjin asks quietly. It’s absolutely the last thing he wants to do and the only option he has right now for de-escalating whatever is happening.
Seungwook turns to look at him and smiles, sloppy with the alcohol. “Yeah? You want to ‘talk,’ Jinnie?” He takes a step closer to Seokjin, and it’s all he can do not to scream. But he’s doing this for Namjoon, who can’t afford to get into a public argument. Not like this. So, he holds his ground. Even when Seungwook adds, “There’s so many other things we could do with that pretty mouth.”
Seokjin wants to throw up, and Namjoon, for his part, looks the same. “You don’t have to go with him, hyung,” he says, voice almost imperceptibly shaky.
“It’s okay, Namjoonie. You finish your drink. Seungwook and I have some catching up to do.” For whatever it’s worth, he tries to give Namjoon a look that says ‘I don’t really want to do this and I’m sorry he’s here and I’m sorry I’m ditching you to save us all from a potential scandal,’ but that’s a lot to communicate with two eyebrows and too much makgeolli, so he probably just looks ridiculous.
“They always come back for more,” Seungwook says, looking smug and to no one in particular, but it makes Namjoon’s fists clench at his sides.
Resigned, Seokjin turns Seungwook toward the exit and tries to give Namjoon his most reassuring look as they leave the table. “Let’s get out of here,” he says, as he guides his ex to the door.
He misses the way Namjoon watches them leave, upset, before downing the rest of his whisky in one go and ordering two more from the waiter who finally delivers their food, just a few minutes too late.
#seokjin fic#namjoon fic#seokjin imagines#bts imagines#bts fanfction#kvanity#seokjin x namjoon#fic: cl
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𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 - 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜
pairing - charles leclerc x fem!reader
warnings - just a tooth rotting amount of fluff, mentions of sex at the end
author’s note - giving you guys a little break from all the smutty content
charles would come along with you to a family party
pretty much all of your family was going to be present, including your niece and nephew
he’s met your niece and nephew before and he absolutely adores both of them
so before heading out to the party, he’d insist on stopping by a store so he could buy gifts for them
“charles, it’s not any of their birthdays or anything. you don’t have to get them anything,” you tell him but he doesn’t listen
“okay but what if i’m busy when it is their birthday and i can’t come to their party? this’ll be like an early birthday present from me!” he explains
and he wouldn’t just pick a simple toy for each of the kids; no he’d want to buy them at least three things each
“seriously baby, this is too much,” you sigh as he stands in the toy aisle and debates between two different stuffed animals for your niece
“too much? there’s no such thing as too much, my love. now, which is better? the pony or the cat?” charles holds up the two plushies
but before you could answer, he just tosses them both into the shopping cart
“charles-“
“nope. no protests. she deserves both,” he says and pushes the cart to the next aisle while you follow with a sigh
by the end of the shopping trip, he’d filled up the entire shopping cart with toys
“how are we going to fit all of this in your car?” you ask, raising an eyebrow at him as you stand by his car with the shopping cart
“we’ll find a way. come on, the happiness on their face will be worth it,” charles smiles at you and you can’t help but agree with that
you end up having to hold a few of the toys that didn’t fit in his trunk on your lap for the drive
and when the two of you walk into your parents’ home, your arms are filled with gift bags filled with goodies
as soon as you walk in, the kids run over to you guys
well, more like to charles
“uncle charles!” “uncle charlie’s here!”
“i feel so loved,” you say dryly when your niece and nephew hug onto his legs
“sorry love. i can’t help it that i’m their favorite uncle,” he grins at you
“you’re their favorite because you bribe them,” you gesture to the gift bags
“nooo, they love me because i’m the best. don’t you?” he turns to them and they both nod excitedly
“see?” charles grins
“traitors,” you tell your niece and nephew and they both giggle but give you hugs as well
“but your auntie is right. i do have gifts for you,” charles tells the kids before handing them their gift bags
“oh my gosh! i love them! i love them!” your niece exclaims as she hugs the two plushies tightly against her chest
“I knew you would,” charles smiles
“uncle charles! can we build this right now?” your nephew tugs on his arm after opening his bag to see the multiple lego sets
“no! i wanna play with uncle charlie first!” your niece exclaims, holding onto his other arm
charles would somehow get them to agree that he’d play with one of them before the other
“how about i help you with building for a little bit the your auntie will while i play with your sister? and then we’ll switch off, sound good buddy?” he asks your nephew and he agrees
the entire afternoon, you both play with your niece and nephew, switching off every now and then
charles would help your nephew with his lego set for a little bit then he’d switch with you to have a tea party with your niece and her stuffed animals
you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell at seeing how good he was with kids
and that led to you thinking about how he would be with your own kids
but you quickly shook that thought off, not wanting to think about it until you both talked about it
you had both talked about kids before and how you wanted them in the future
but you weren’t sure if now was the right time
except charles was thinking the exact same thing you were
while you were busy playing with the kids, you hadn’t noticed how he was watching you with a look of pure love on his face
after a few hours, you both say your goodbyes to your family before heading back home to your apartment
the entire ride, charles was pretty quiet but you assumed that he was just tired after the party
but really, he was just thinking about having your own kids
and how gorgeous you’d look pregnant with his baby
he finally broke the silence after driving for awhile
“i want one,” charles speaks up
“want one… what?” you turn to him, confused about what he was talking about
“a baby,” he says
“a- a what?” you ask, clearly surprised
“yeah. i want a mini you or a mini me running around,” he says
“does someone have baby fever after hanging out with the kids all day?” you tease
“you can’t blame me, love. seeing you with the kids makes me wanna have our own,” he sighs
“yeah, me too,” you agree
“really?” now he was the one who was surprised that you agreed with him
“mhm. besides, when we have kids i can finally refer to you as a dilf,” you smirk
“well in that case, why don’t i just pull over and we can get started on making a baby?” he smirks back
“absolutely not. we are not conceiving our child in a car in the middle of the road,” you shake your head
“oh please. how many kids would be able to say that they were conceived in a ferrari?” he scoffs
“not happening babe,” you say as he pulls over anyways
“charles–” you start to scold
“what? we don’t have to make the baby now. but we can still practice,” he smirks before pulling you onto his lap
and two weeks later, you take a pregnancy test and it comes out positive
and charles is probably ecstatic at the fact that you conceived your baby in his car
#cl#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc headcanon#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader#f1 headcanon#f1 x reader#f1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 imagine#diorleclerc writes
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The Horrific Rumours
0.3 (part 2)
~The one where he clears the break up rumours~
Charles_leclerc
Liked by your_username, carlossainz55, your_bestfriend and 69.7k others
📍your_username
Charles_leclerc: Mon amour❤️
Ps- I would really appreciate it if people would refrain from sharing such rumours about my personal life. We are very much together and happy.
Comments:-
↪️Username06: he really said what breakup
↪️Ferrarigirl: a perfect fuck you to the rumours
Ynfan09: they're so cute together
Ynfangirl: yes tell them charles
Your_username: Mon bébé😘
↪️Charles_leclerc: only yours😘❤️
↪️Pierregasly: yeah yeah we know that you're together no need to show off
↪️Charles_leclerc: you're the one to talk?!
↪️Carlossainz55: yeah mate I've had enough of you kissing her in front of me to last a lifetime
Danielriccardo: I almost thought you've lost your mind after reading the rumours mate
↪️Charles_leclerc: nice to see you believe in me Daniel
Landonorris: shit I got my hopes up...I thought no more watching you guys be disgustingly in love
↪️Username06 LANDO?!
↪️Username05 umm what
↪️Charles_leclerc: don't even think about it Lando
Charlesfan05:" I don't plan to ever break up with her" if it's not love then I don't know what is
Pierregasly: Apart from jokes please don't spread rumours I almost had a heart attack
↪️Likedbygasly: Lmao
↪️Pierregasly: I don't know what I would've done if he started crying mid interview
↪️Ynfan09: probably start crying with him
Astonmytin: man is in love
Joris_trouche: I can't believe people thought you broke up when all you do is lock lips together
↪️Username: joris airing charles secrets
↪️Carlossainz55: don't forget the phone calls every other hour
↪️Landonorris: or how he whines about missing her every damn time
↪️Maxverstappen1: I'm pretty sure I know everything about her, all because he can't stop talking about it
Redbullfan05: not the others exposing charles💀
Username06:Lmao the whole grid was worried💀
Arthur_leclerc: I was on the verge of crying like I can lose Charles but I can't lose my partner in crime
↪️Randomfangirl: Arthur💀
↪️Charles_leclerc: wow okay I'm not offended at all
↪️Ferrarigirl: Arthur really said he would rather lose his own brother then his girlfriend😭
↪️Smooth_operator: he's whipped
Georgerusselfan: I love how the whole grid was worried that they broke up
Your_username
Liked by Charles_leclerc, pierregasly, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 86.9k others
📍charles_leclerc
Your_username: "You are the best thing that's ever been mine". I love you❤️
comments:-
Charles_leclerc: I love you too baby 😘
Your_bestfriend: you're cute and all but please stop kissing in front of me
↪️Your_username: we don't always kiss?!
↪️francisca.cgomes: you kind of do babe
↪️your_username: kika?! Not you too
Youfan15: I want what they have
Lilymhe: What do you mean I'm not the best thing that's ever happened to you
↪️Alexalbon: Lily?!
↪️Charles_leclerc: cry about it
↪️Your_username: you're one of my favourite people lily❤️
↪️Charles_leclerc: but I'm the best right?
↪️Fangirl16: I love their banter
Ynfan09: not Taylor swift lyrics
Charlosgirl: which God did to pray to?
Arthur_leclerc: please don't leave me alone with him
↪️Randomfan02: he's your brother💀
↪️Your_username: you've been living with him since you were born??
↪️Arthur_leclerc: yeah exactly
Likedbygasly: Charles really went and took my wife
Pierregasly: Please don't scare me like that
↪️Username06: Lmao Pierre was really going through it
↪️Username08: man was stressed
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#f1 instagram au#charles leclerc imagine#f1#charles leclerc x you#formula 1#fic rec#f1 imagine#charles leclerc x female reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 x reader#cl16 fanfic#cl x reader#charles lecrelc#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc instagram au#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc insta au#charles leclerc fluff
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The urge to tickle a lee’s pussy through the fabric of their panties with just my nails until they lose their mind is through the roof. Anyone care to take care of that?
#cl!t tickling#nsft tickling#sadistic tickling#tickle thoughts#tickletorture#tickle content#tword content#tickling armpits#tickle fic#tword community
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Chapter 35:
I’m standing on a tightrope, alone…
Masterlist - Previous - Next
TW: panic attack
"Lizzie?" JK snapped his fingers in front of my face and I blinked, looking around.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Where are you?" he tilted his head a little.
"Where am I? Here? Right in front of you?"
"No, silly. Where are you in here?" he poked my forehead with his index finger and I sighed "That bad?"
"Where do you want me to start?" I chuckled sarcastically.
"How about what’s with you and Charles?" he said and I grimaced "Ouhhh, hit the nail on the head at the first go. So, what’s with you and lover boy?"
"We had a fight. No… it wasn’t really a fight, more a disagreement? I don’t know…" I mumbled, plopping down on the bench.
"About?"
"Umm-… I got a call from a psychiatric hospital…" I began but stopped.
"Diaz wants to talk to you, right?" JK said and I looked up.
"How did you know?"
"Makes sense. He’s facing a serious sentence, making amends and showing remorse looks good and might make the judge more lenient when it comes to a trial…" he sat down next to me and handed me my water.
"You think he’s only doing it for show? He’s not being honest?"
"He assaulted you 3 times. He harassed and blackmailed you. I don’t know… how much could he change already in not even 3.5 weeks?"
"Charles thinks the same…" I sighed and JK chuckled "What?"
"So you said you want to go and talk to him and Charles doesn’t want you to go, that’s why you fought? Or disagreed over?" he asked and I nodded "Does that surprise you? I only heard what happened and want to kill this dude… Charles had to witness how he almost killed you… yeah harsh words, but it’s the ugly truth. Charles walked in on Diaz almost choking you to death… I think that he doesn’t want you anywhere near him ever again is just a normal reaction."
"I know, okay? It’s just… doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? He might be sick? Have a mental disease? Maybe he needs this to heal?" I said when the door slammed shut and I flinched, turning around. I didn’t expect to see him here. The Ferrari team debrief always took way longer than the Audi ones.
"Unbelievable." Charles looked at me, a scowl on his face "You know I actually thought about it… thought about you might need this to find closure, that that’s the reason you consider it. But no, of course not… you want to go because he might need it to heal…"
"I don’t need to talk to him to find closure. I’m fine." I stood up and grabbed the dumbbells.
"Yeah? You’re fine? And what about at night? When you have nightmares? When you wake up, tear soaked face, whimpering, shaking? Totally fine." Charles scoffed "You don’t even want to talk to Dr. Lindner, cancelling all your appointments… you’re totally fine."
"I don’t need to talk about every little thing that has happened to me…"
"Every little thing?" Charles interrupted me "Every little thing? Lizzie, after everything he’s done to you, you owe him nothing! He forced himself onto you, groping you, kissing you, all without your consent, that is sexual assault! He began harassing you, asking you disgusting questions and when you didn’t answer he assaulted you again, blackmailing you. Threatening our family? He wanted you to manipulate races, he wanted you to commit a freaking crime! And when you didn’t do what he wanted, he tried to kill you in your own fucking home! Nothing of all of that is a little thing… and all of it combined?"
I sat down on the bench again and began my first set of shoulder presses with the dumbbells.
"And now you’re ignoring me? Very mature…" Charles shook his head and walked away, Andrea followed him.
I kept on doing my set and when I was done sat down the dumbbells. JK kept staring at me for the next sets and after a while I had enough.
"Say it. Come on…" I groaned but he only shook his head.
"I’m not going to tell you what to do. But just so you know, Charles is right… you owe Diaz nothing." he said and packed away the elastic bands and ropes "Finish this set and we’re done for today."
I nodded and finished the set, watching Charles in the mirror in the back doing his sets more aggressive than ever before. I packed up my things and left, straight into our hotel room where I took a long shower, thinking about what Charles had said yesterday, but also today.
He was right, I had nightmares, Diaz face appearing night after night in front of my eyes. His hands clutching tightly around my throat. When I woke up I still felt their touch on my skin. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to talk to him? See him ever again. It was more the fact that everyone told me to talk about what happened. How everyone was patronising me like I was a little girl. They all looked at me like I was a fragile, little bird. Made out of glass. Needed them to handle me with kid gloves. It was frustrating. I wanted this to be over. Once and for all. Over. Done. I wanted to know why he did all of that. Why he hated me so much? Because I rejected him in 2019? He was still holding a grudge on me after 4 years? That couldn’t be it. That just couldn’t be all. And that’s what I needed to know. The whole story. But I didn’t like how everyone tried to tell me how to feel. How to behave. Talking to him to find closure would only proof them right. And I hated it. So damn much.
Charles POV:
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Andrea asked when I saw Lizzie packing up her things and leaving without saying a word.
"There’s nothing to talk about… she doesn’t listen to me anyway. She’s doing whatever she wants to do and I have to accept it. It’s like this." I replied and continued my work out.
After a while Andrea stopped me.
"We’re done for today. It’s not working like this Charles, you’re too aggressive. You’ll hurt yourself if we continue." he said and I sighed "You should talk to Lizzie…"
"Yeah… I will, for now I’ll go on the treadmill doing a little run…"
"But just that! Then you go back to Lizzie and talk!" Andrea cocked an eyebrow and I nodded "Good! I’ll leave you alone. I don’t need to watch you running, but don’t go crazy!"
"I won’t, promise!" I said and waved him goodbye.
Not even two minutes of running and my thoughts were already spinning around Lizzie. I had to talk to someone and I had an idea to who.
Stepping out of the gym shower, I dressed up and then took a deep breath dialling the number, hoping he would pick up as I was in dire need of his advice.
"Charles, how are you kiddo?"
"Hey Seb! I’m sorry for calling this late… I’m- I’m okay. How are you? How’s Hanna? The kids?"
"You know me, I’m always just fine… as for the family… well I guess they’re annoyed by my presence every now and then and it’s not even that late, just because I have kids, my day doesn’t end at 8, you know.." he laughed and I joined in "So, Charles… what’s going on? Don’t get me wrong, I’m always happy to hear from you, but I know you good enough to know that something’s going on?"
"Yeah… you’re right…" I sighed "I just need to talk to someone…"
"Alright… I wasn’t planning on showing up before Sunday somewhere near the track, but I’m in Silverstone… there is this little pub, meet me there in half an hour?" he said and I felt relieved.
"Thank you Seb, really!" I smiled, slipping into my shoes.
"It’s okay, I meant what I said when I left the team, whenever you need me, you can always call. I’ll send you the address."
25 minutes later I parked the car and got out, looking for the bistro.
"Charles!" Seb waved me over and got up when I walked up to him "Good to see you." he hugged me and I had to smile. A bear hug from Seb always felt great.
"Hey Seb! Thanks for meeting up with me." I said when we sat down.
"No worries. You can always call." he smiled as a waiter came over to take our order "I’ll have a beer, Lager, from the tap."
"I’ll have a coke." I ordered and the waiter left again.
"So, how’s Lizzie? I texted and called after I heard what happened but she wasn’t really talking about it…" Seb looked at me.
"She says she’s fine… but she’s not… she doesn’t want to talk about it though. With no one, not even her therapist." I sighed when the waiter returned with our drinks. We thanked him and I took a sip of the cold coke before I groaned "I was so fucking blind! Everything he did to her happened right under my nose and I didn’t realise it."
"We all didn’t! Lizzie has many talents, but one of her biggest ones is for sure masking her own feelings and acting like everything is fine. She talked to me last year about Diaz. But it was only about how he asks all of this inappropriate questions, harassing her! Would I’ve known what he was doing to her?" he stopped and shook his head.
"She has nightmares. She wakes up screaming, shaking, scared and confused… I hate it. I feel like I can’t do anything to help her…" I began but Seb shook his head.
"You’re there for her. That’s all you can do at the moment! Don’t think like what you’re doing isn’t enough!"
"I don’t know… his doctor called… he wants to talk to Lizzie… and I think she considers going. But not for herself, no, she would do it for him! Because apparently everyone deserves a second chance…" I scoffed.
"Hmm…" Seb only hummed and I looked at him "Lizzie often says things to hide her true feelings? Maybe this time she’s doing it as well? Maybe she needs this. Needs to talk to him to find closure herself? But she just doesn’t know it yet? Or not fully?"
"If she wants to talk to him for herself then I’m there for her 100%. I’ll fully support her! But if she really wants to talk to him for his sake? To help him? How could I support that? I want to-…" I began but stopped, playing with my bracelet.
"You want to see him suffer? Rot in hell?"
"I want to see him dead." I swallowed hard, not able to meet Seb’s eyes on me.
"Charles? Hey?" he said and I slowly looked up, feeling bad for saying such a thing "It’s okay to feel like this… it really is. What he did to Lizzie? What he did to you? It’s just understandable. Don’t be too hard on yourself!"
"I never felt this much hate in my entire life." I admitted after a while and Seb only nodded "He didn’t just hurt Lizzie. He also dragged Sissy and Liam, Liam out of all people, into this whole mess…"
"He also hurt you! Don’t forget yourself, Charles."
"I don’t care about myself. I care about Lizzie, I care about Sissy, I care about Liam!"
"One of the many reasons why you and Lizzie are perfect for each other is that you both always put everyone else above you… but this all isn’t just about Lizzie. He dragged you into it. He hurt you as well. It’s okay to feel like this. And it’s also okay to not want him anywhere near Lizzie ever again."
"So what do I do? Just tell her it’s okay if she wants to see him? Tell her to go ahead and sit in a room with the guy he almost killed her?" I scoffed a little.
"No. You tell her exactly how you feel. Why you don’t want her near him. But that you will fully support her decision if she really wants to talk to him… I know you don’t like it. But sometimes we have to swallow down our feelings in order to help the people that we love the most." Seb smiled a little and after a while I nodded.
"Thank you. Really. I just needed to talk to someone. I just… thank you, Seb!" I said and he just shrugged his shoulders.
"Whenever you need me, you can call me. Whenever you need a little timeout from everything, you can always come visit me. Just because I’m not racing anymore doesn’t mean that I’m out of the world, you know?" he chuckled a little.
"I don’t like racing without you… it’s just not the same anymore." I admitted but he shook his head.
"My time had come. There will be a time when you will feel the same. When always being away from your family is becoming more and more draining. When racing alone doesn’t make you happy anymore. I had reached this point actually in my last year with Ferrari. But I continued… and I dreaded it. One day when you feel the same, you know what I’m talking about." he waved the waiter over and paid for our drinks "And now go back to Lizzie. Talk to her. When I learned one thing in life it’s that talking solves most of our problems…"
"Thank you Seb! For everything!" we got up and I hugged him "I see you on Sunday?"
"You can bet on it!" he smiled and waved when he walked off, getting on his bike and I had to chuckle a little.
"Lizzie?" I asked into the room when I opened the door to our hotel room. No reply. The room was empty. I looked for a note or anything. Nothing. No text. No missed call. Nothing. I called her just to land straight on her mailbox. It was already half past ten.
"Hey Charles, everything’s good?" JK asked when he picked up.
"Yeah. Do you know where Lizzie is? She’s not in our hotel? She left the gym way earlier than I did?"
"Not since the gym?" he replied and I sighed.
"Alright. If she texts you or calls you, can you let me know?"
"Sure thing. And Charles? I’m 100 % on your side on this… the only reason for her to see him should be for her closure. Her peace of mind. Not for his sake. He doesn’t deserve it…" JK said and I smiled a little.
"Thanks JK. I just wish Lizzie would see it that way…"
"Deep down I think she does… but you know her, never show any kind of weakness. Which is weird, because she’s the toughest person I know…" he said.
"She really is. She just needs to see it…"
"Yeah. I’m sure she will one day… but for now, I’ll give her a call and check in on her, then I let you know where she is, okay?"
"Thanks JK." I said and we hung up.
I changed into sweatpants and a shirt and grabbed the room service menu, ordering two salads, two sandwiches, that way Lizzie could eat something when she came back.
After 20 minutes JK texted me that Lizzie was back in the gym, running. I considered joining her, but maybe she needed some time to think. Alone. So I waited. And waited. I went to bed and turned on the tv, watching a survival show, still waiting for Lizzie. After a while I drifted off to sleep.
I stared at the sandwich and the salad on the table, looking over at Charles, asleep. Even though he was mad at me, he still looked out for me. I hated it. I hated how perfect he was. It made me feel even worse. I grabbed the food and sat down on the sofa, eating in silence, before I took a shower and climbed into bed, careful not to wake Charles up.
I ran at least 20 kilometres tonight but I still felt restless. I watched the time ticking away and before any of our alarms went off I got up and dressed. I just slipped into my shoes when I saw Charles stirring in the bed, I grabbed my bag and phone and quietly opened the door, right when I was through the door I heard Charles calling after me. But I stepped outside and closed the door, almost sprinting to the elevator.
"So I guess you haven’t talked to Charles?" I flinched when I stepped out of the elevator and bumped into JK.
"What?" I looked at him, heart racing.
"I wasn’t expecting you for another hour. That you’re here now, means that you left before Charles woke up, to not talk to him…"
"JK…" I began but he groaned.
"This is stupid, Liz. And you know it! Charles didn’t do anything wrong. The only thing he did was tell you that he didn’t like the thought of you going to see the guy who not just harassed you for years, but also assaulted you. Can you blame him that he wants to protect you?" JK gave me a stern look "Yeah that’s what I thought. The only reason you don’t want to talk to him is that you don’t want to admit that you’re wrong! Because you’re too freaking stubborn!"
"I’ll talk to him, okay? Tonight! I just need a clear head today." I sighed and he nodded.
"I’ll just grab my stuff and we can leave…" he said and stepped into the elevator.
"I’m waiting here…"
I got out of the car, shaking my head.
"What was that?" I asked Pete and he sighed.
"Sorry Lizzie, he should’ve been warned..."
"I guess this year won’t be as good as last year here." I mumbled going into the back of the garage.
"The race is tomorrow, come on!" JK said and I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah? Starting from P6? I can do shit tomorrow…" I groaned. Sitting down. I fucked up the quali. I couldn’t manage to get the car and the tyres in the right window. I would start right behind Sainz and Charles.
"Sainz probably will attack Charles right at the start since there are no real team orders as it seems, maybe you can slip past them while they battle each other?" JK said and I nodded. Maybe.
I went to the media pen with Julie, bumping straight into Charles.
"Sorry." I mumbled and he nodded.
"It’s fine. Sorry for your quali. I think you had the pace to be better…" he said looking at me and I nodded.
"Yeah… I don’t know. Maybe." I replied and he nodded now as well "I have to…"
"Yeah. Me too. See you later?" he asked.
"Yup." I hummed and walked past him.
"Okay? What’s going on? That was painful to watch? You two weren’t your usual self for the whole weekend?" Julie asked and I cocked an eyebrow.
"Our usual self? What does that even mean?"
"Oh you know what I mean! Not all cute. Stolen kisses here, loving gazes there. No jokes. No banter. What’s going on?" she looked at me pointedly.
"We had a disagreement and now we’re both petty and stubborn…" I answered and she sighed.
"Kids…" she mumbled and I laughed.
"You’re not that much older than me!"
"I’m turning 31 this year! To me, you are a kid! A kid that should talk to her adorable boyfriend…" she gently nudged my shoulder and I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah maybe…" I said, putting on a fake smile for the interviews.
I sat in our hotel room, waiting for Charles to return and when I heard the door opening I laid back, pretending to read in my book.
"Hey…" he whispered and I put my book down.
"Hey." I replied, watching him shrugging out of his jacket, hanging it up.
"Have you eaten?" he asked and I looked at the clock to his right, half past 11 "Stupid question. Sorry."
"It’s okay…" I sat up, putting my bookmark into my book, closing it.
"I’ll take a shower." he grabbed his sweatpants and a shirt, then disappeared in the bathroom.
I groaned, falling back into my pillows. Why was it so hard to just say that I was sorry. Or that he was right. I waited for him to come back out and he when he did I looked at him.
"What? Do I have something in my face?" he asked and I shook my head.
"No- I just… I wanted to… umm-…" I stammered and he sighed, laying down next to me "I appreciate your concern… I really do. I just- I don’t know. I need time to think about this whole thing, you know?"
"About what exactly?" he looked at me.
"The whole Diaz thing…"
"Okay."
"Okay?" I repeated.
"Okay." he said again and I groaned.
"That’s it?" I asked and turned a little.
"It’s your decision and whatever you decide, I support you." he said.
"Okay."
"Okay."
Talk to him Lizzie. That’s what JK said and that’s what I did. Almost. But did I feel better? No. Not at all
"Good night, Lizzie."
"Good night, Charles."
"FUCK!" I screamed. I was furious. What was I thinking. Not even 10 laps and the race was already over.
"Are you okay? Lizzie?" Pete asked and I huffed.
No. I wasn’t okay. I just crashed out of the race. Because of my own mistake.
"Yeah, I’m alright. I am so fucking stupid! I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry!" I said and shook my head. The marshals already running on track to get us out of our cars.
"He’s okay, too." Pete said and I just sighed.
"Thanks… I switch everything off. I’m sorry for the whole team!" I pulled out the steering wheel, feeling a stinging pain in my wrist. When I unbuckled my seatbelt, the pain got worse. I stood up, groaning a little in pain when I held onto the halo trying to climb out. One of the marshals looked up and then helped me out.
"Are you okay?" he asked and I nodded "You wanna wait for the med car? Or wait for a scooter?”
"I’ll walk. I’m fine." I said and looked across the track, at the entrance of the corner, spun around with it’s rear stuck in the tech pro barrier was Charles’ Ferrari, he stood next to it, talking to the marshal, as if he sensed that I was looking at him he turned into my direction. It looked like he wanted to walk over to me but stopped himself from doing it. I turned around and followed the marshal, he helped me climbing over the fence, when a searing pain shot through my back and I gasped loudly. The marshal turned around and I only shook my head. The pain subsiding already, although I still felt a little tension, that got better and better with every step I took. I silently followed the marshal and watched on a screen how my car got lifted up in the air. I groaned, bad enough that I screwed up my race, no the one I had to take out was Charles. I walked as fast as possible to the pits, wanting to arrive at my garage before Charles was brought back, that was a confrontation I didn’t want to play out in front of the media. As I walked up the pit lane the camera man was following me and I tried my best to not acknowledge him, good choice still wearing my helmet, no one could see the tears I was crying. Out of anger and frustration. JK waited for me and side hugged me to shield me off a little from the camera. We walked into the garage and I just shook my head and opened my visor a little.
"I’m sorry Felix. I really thought I could make it!" I said and Felix just rubbed my back.
"It’s alright, you wanted to go for it… next time try to go for a bigger gap and if possible at a wider part of the track… and for your own sake not against your boyfriend." he said and smiled encouraging at me. I just groaned and nodded and he pushed me away laughing "Sit down for a moment and have something to drink! It’s alright, Lizzie."
I walked through the garage and apologised to my mechanics and the whole crew, then I sat down and JK brought me a towel and something to drink.
"You wanna keep that helmet on forever?" he chuckled and I shook my head, before slowly taking it off.
"I just didn’t want the cameras to catch me crying out of anger! They will twist it into me being an emotional woman crying after crashing into her boyfriend…" I sighed and JK laughed.
"But that’s what you’re doing!" he said and I rolled my eyes "Just kidding! I know, it’s all good like this. You sure you’re alright? No pain? Tension?"
"Yeah, there will be tension as soon as Charles will come for me!" I whispered and JK only shrugged.
"It won’t be that bad, don’t worry!" he said and I rolled my eyes.
"He could be on the podium! Maybe even win! And I am the reason why he didn’t even get a single point out of today!" I said and JK squeezed my left shoulder.
"Just give him your puppy eyes and you’re good!" he laughed and I smacked his shoulder, hissing in pain "Okay, you’re in pain!” JK gently took my hand and started stretching my fingers, carefully twisting my wrist and I groaned "Liz! You can’t hide something like that! Race suit off, now!"
I got up from the chair and pulled the zipper of my race suit down, then JK helped pull off the sleeves carefully. He examined the movements I could make without pain, then walked off and watched a replay of my crash on of the screens He watched it again and then came back.
"Why did you grip the steering wheel even tighter? You know to take your hands off the moment you know you’ll crash! I need to see your whole arm, come on." he said and I followed him in the back room where I pulled my fireproofs off, seeing my wrist being already swollen, then he stretched my arm, bent it, pressed my shoulder "Oh Liz, you would’ve left now like this without saying something?" he murmured and I just shrugged "So, nothing’s broken, but it’s definitely heavily bruised. I’d say we let a doc check it, make sure it’s not strained. You want to go to the meds now, they’d give you painkillers?"
"No it’s fine, I just keep it still and that’s okay." I said and he helped me back in my fireproofs "I just want to find Julie, go straight to the media pen and be done with it."
"Good thing I’m already here." Julie chimed in and I nodded.
"Let me just have a look in the mirror." I said and walked into the bathroom, wiped off my face and smoothed down my hair, before I hissed in pain again.
"Stay here." JK gave me a stern look before he walked away again and came back at moment later with some bandages and gauze "I’ll make a temporary splint and sling."
"Thanks, JK." I mumbled and Julie and I walked off "Is it only Logan, Charles and me who are out?"
"No, Esteban and George crashed just one lap after the restart." Julie said and I nodded "I’m sorry, Lizzie, but I have Sky Italy, Germany and UK. Also Canal+."
"Sky Italy? They’ll kill me!" I sighed and Julie nudged me gently.
"It will be fine." she said encouragingly and I simply nodded.
"Hmm. If you say so." I held my head low. Sky Italy will kill me. The Tifosi will kill me. Charles. I just hoped he was having a long talk with his team before he would come into the media pen. Long enough for me to be back in the garage again when he arrived. I took a deep breath and walked up to Mara Sangiorgio.
"Lizzie. Hi. Unfortunate ending to a promising race? What happened?" she asked.
"I underestimated how narrow that corner really was. It was my mistake. I wanted too much. I felt like with the DRS I could overtake Charles, maybe stay ahead of him long enough for him to ruin his tyres as we know the Ferraris’ weak spot are the tyres! But I made a mistake, we touched and unfortunately both spun out."
"Last season you won here…"
"Yeah, last season our car was a little easier to drive, not as stiff as it is now. But it’s getting better and better with each weekend… but today it wasn’t the car, it was me. I made a mistake and that cost me not just my race…" I began before I took a deep breath and continued in Italian, looking straight into the camera "I’m so sorry for Charles, Ferrari and all Tifosi. I misjudged the situation and ended both of our races. I’m really, really sorry to all Tifosi."
"Thank you Lizzie." she smiled at me and I nodded, following Julie to the next interview, right when Charles entered the media pen. I swallowed hard, turning away, trying to focus on my interview. I felt his look on me, but tried to ignore him.
"Sorry? What was the question?" I asked Nathalie who smiled empathically at me.
"I asked if you’re okay? Your arm?" she nodded at my arm in the sling.
"Yeah I kinda held onto the steering wheel a little too tight when I crashed into the wall. It’s a little bruised, my coach just wants to be extra careful." I replied and she nodded.
"Thank you Lizzie, take care."
"Thank you." I smiled a little and looked at Julie.
"Canal+ now and then we’re done."
"Great…" I just knew that Candice Boucher won’t have a single nice word for me.
"Lizzie, hi. What a race." she said, a sneer like smile on her lips "How do you rate your weekend?"
"Weekend? Not too bad. We had a good pace. Quali went okay. The only thing that wasn’t working out as planned was the race-…" I began, just to be interrupted by her.
"The race where you made a crucial mistake, crashing into Charles, ending his race."
"Yes, unfortunately, I steered into Charles and-…"
"Was it just you misjudging the situation or was it a simple lack of… awareness, maybe even something else?" the sweet smile on her lips, didn’t match the icy tone in her voice, or the hard glare of her eyes.
"It was a lack of talent probably." I pressed out and she grinned.
"After races like today, do you understand why there are still some people saying you don’t deserve your seat?" she asked next and I swallowed hard.
"People think what they want. I don’t care." I turned to Julie and she nodded.
"We’re done, thank you." she said and took my arm, leading me away "She’s a bitch."
"But she’s also right…" I sighed right as Charles stepped in front of me.
"What’s with your arm?" he asked gently and I looked down.
"I held onto the steering wheel when I crashed into the wall…" I mumbled, not meeting his eyes "I’m sorry…"
"Were you at the medical centre?"
"I’m going later. But did you hear me? I’m sorry for crashing into you." I repeated.
"I know." he replied and I looked up, right when Mia nudged his shoulder, nodding towards the Canal+ crew "I have to…"
"Yeah. Sure." I nodded and walked off, without another word.
Charles POV:
The after race debrief went by in a blur. I barely listened when Mattia said my name repeatedly and Xavi nudged my arm.
"Charles!" I looked at Mattia and he sighed "Nice that you decided to join the conversation."
"Sorry." I mumbled.
"Races like today can’t happen again. We need every point we can get…"
"It’s not like I asked Lizzie to crash into me?" I said and he nodded.
"I know, but she shouldn’t be able to catch up to you like that? We have way more race pace than the Audis this season…" Mattia sighed and I looked at him.
Was he for real? Lizzie overtook Carlos right before she attempted to overtake me. Yet I didn’t hear him say a word to Carlos being overtaken by her? I looked at Carlos and his father next to him. Like always when we had meetings he was with us. Why? I didn’t understand. But right now I also didn’t care.
"We all need to work on our performance. Our pit stops need to be faster. Our race pace must improve. We have to deliver now. The second half of the season must be ours!" Mattia said and all around the table everyone was mumbling in agreement "Meetings dismissed. Carlos. Charles. I need you two in Maranello. We have new upgrades we want to test before they get finalised." Mattia looked at us and I nodded, then I got up and left. Not speaking to anyone. I hated this season. Nothing was working the way I wanted it to. I was pushing the car every other weekend over its limits and ruined my races. Austria was just luck. Luck, I didn’t know how I managed to get. I also didn’t feel the same kind of support within the team anymore. The fact that I had to sit through strategy meetings alone, while Carlos had his father and cousin by his side, always giving their input, didn’t sit right with me, but I couldn’t change it. Mattia had nothing against it. He was the team principal. It was just another weekend to forget, that ended in a race debrief that left me more than insecure.
When I walked into our hotel room it was silent. A tiny ball underneath the sheets was the only indicator that Lizzie was here. I checked the time and thought that Lizzie maybe went to bed already. Rolled up into a ball, never a good sign. She slept like that when she was feeling unwell, anxious. I grabbed my sweatpants and a shirt then went into the bathroom to get bed ready. I climbed into bed next to her, pulling the blanket up.
"I’m so sorry that I crashed into you…" she said after a while and I turned my head slightly to look at her.
"It’s okay. You made a mistake, we all did at some point." I said quietly "How’s your wrist?"
"It’s okay. A little bruised, but that’s it…"
"Were you at the medical centre?"
"Yeah."
"That’s good."
We laid there in silence when Lizzie turned around, pulling her blanket down a little, her big blue-grey orbs looking at me.
"Are you mad at me?" she whispered and I shook my head.
"I’m not mad, Lizzie. It’s just… I’m scared… the last time you were in a room with him, he almost killed you… just a minute later and… I can’t lose you." I whispered back, tucking some loose strands of hair out of her face.
"You won’t lose me! And I actually meant the race…" she grabbed my hand, kissing my knuckles.
"No. I’m not, I’m not happy, sure, it was stupid going for that gap, it was too narrow, no space, you know that. But I also know that I would’ve done the same probably… so yeah, I’m not mad." I chuckled a little.
"After races like today, I kinda understand why everyone thinks that I don’t deserve my seat…" she mumbled and I gently grabbed her chin, tilting her head up, making her look at me.
"Don’t go there, Lizzie. We all had moments like this! Just look at Miami this year! Or France last year! Max and Lewis 2 years ago? We all make mistakes! That doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve our seats!" I said determined and she sighed.
"Maybe you’re right…"
"Not maybe, definitely!" I pulled her into me and she snuggled into my side "I missed you this weekend… I hated that we weren’t talking or rather barely talking…"
"I’m sorry… I just thought that- that you didn’t want to talk to me after I said that I’m considering talking to him…" she whispered and I sighed.
"I didn’t like the thought, but yeah it was a little childish to ignore you…"
"I started it…"
"We need to work on that." I said and she looked at me "Communication. Sometimes we lack of it…"
"I think it’s more me than you."
"No. It’s us equally. When you start to ignore me I have to make you talk to me and vice versa. This is how it should be. More talking."
"Yeah. More talking…" she whispered and started to play with my bracelets as a comfortable silence fell upon us.
"I really can’t lose you…" I mumbled after a while and Lizzie looked up at me.
"You won’t lose me!" she replied but I shook my head.
"I’m just thinking… the amount of times I thought I lost you in the past? What if the next time, luck isn’t on our side?"
"It wasn’t luck! It was always you who saved me!" she scooted closer, cupping my cheeks, making me look at her "It was always you!"
"Yeah but what if I’m not there the next time? What if I’m not fast enough?" my voice barely above a whisper.
"I know that you’ll always be on time!" she kissed the tip of my nose.
"Can I come with you?" I asked and her eyes widened "When you decide that you want to see him? Can I come with you then?"
"I haven’t even decided yet…"
"But when you want to go and see him?" I almost pleaded.
"I wouldn’t want to go without you…" she admitted and I smiled, kissing her gently.
"I honestly don’t want to go to Maranello…" I said while packing my bag.
"It’s just for three days! Come on… suck it up!" Lizzie chuckled and I sighed dramatically.
"I don’t think that any upgrades can fix this car. It’s fucked. I know it. They know it. Everyone knows it. Look at our last results?"
"You mean your win in Austria?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
"No I mean Canada! Barcelona! Monaco! Baku!-" I began.
"Baku where you were also on the podium? Sprint race and normal race?"
"12 races and 2 podiums… wow…" I stuffed a few socks into the bag.
"Technically 9 races… so yeah, one sprint race podium, one podium and one win in a car that is completely designed for your teammate… who’s also not really performing any better!" she sat up from the bed, looking at me.
"According to the media, he does…" I mumbled.
"Yeah according to the media I don’t deserve my seat… are we believing them? No! Especially not since 90 % of this bullshit is coming from Spain. Of course they have to bash you in order to highlight Carlos… but we know the truth!" she said and I sighed.
"I don’t know. I want to ignore it all, but it’s so damn hard… especially since I kinda have the feeling that some people within Ferrari think so too, you know?" I sat down next to her and she looked at me "I don’t feel like they all believe in me anymore… it changed. It’s like more and more of them are leaning towards Carlos… wanting Mattia to make a decision that Carlos is our number 1 driver." I looked at my hands.
"I feel like the Sainz family has a little too much influence on the team… or rather at the team principal… especially since Santander became the main sponsor…" Lizzie said, grabbing my hand "But you know what they can’t to? No matter how much influence they have? They can’t make Carlos a better driver. You are the better driver. And with a little more luck, a better car and a more reliable team, I’m sure as hell that you can show them all who you are, il predestinato."
"How are you doing that?" I said and pulled her into a tight hug "How do you always find the right words to say?"
"I learned from the best…" she chuckled a little, kissing my cheek "And now go. Drive to Maranello with your head held high and show them who you are. Tell them that the car like this is not drivable and if they want you to compete at the top they need to make some changes!"
"Let’s hope they listen to me…" I said and threw a last shirt into my bag, zipping it close "I’ll call you as soon as I’ve arrived!"
"I’m waiting for your call."
I leaned down and kissed her, her cheeks turning a little red when I pulled away, looking at her.
"Thank you Lizzie…"
I got out of the simulator, Fred waiting for me.
"And? What do you say?" he asked and I smiled a little.
"I mean, if you manage to get the upgrades done like that? The second half of the season might be working out better for us!" I answered slightly optimistic.
"We’re trying our best. But I guess we won’t be able to have the upgrades earlier than Suzuka."
"Better than nothing." I shrugged my shoulders and we walked outside together.
"How are you boy? The last weeks were tough…" Fred asked and I sighed a little, following him into his office when he waved me through the door.
"I’m okay, I think. Yeah sure. It was all a little much from time to time. But I’m focused on the last two races before the break."
"How’s Lizzie? It’s horrible what she has been through. It was sad enough to see her being treated the way she was last season…" Fred poured himself a coffee, offering me one as well but I shook my head.
"The way the media, the fans, even some of the other drivers were making jokes about her wasn’t okay. They went too far. Way too far. You know Lizzie, she doesn’t show you when she’s hurt, but I saw it. I saw how hurt she was and how much what was being written and said affected her…" I said and he nodded. She did an amazing job. P4 in the championship as a rookie? That’s a pretty good result. She showed all her doubters how great she is." Fred said, looking proudly at a picture on his desk. I followed his look and had to smile. A picture of Fred, Lizzie, René and me. The day Fred asked me if I wanted to join the Sauber F1 team for the 2018 season.
"She really did, but there are still enough out there who doubt her… not just her." I added quietly and he looked up from the picture.
"I’ve seen what they write about you Charles. Don’t listen to them. We know what we have in you. Don’t worry about that…" Fred said reassuringly and I nodded slowly "It’s a tough season for us. But we have a win. You brought it to us. Don’t forgot that!"
"I know. It’s just… it’s been tough lately. A lot of noise. Off track as well as on track. I know I’m not performing as well as last season…" I said.
"The car this season isn’t as good as last years. Or at least like last year in the first half of the season… we already are in the middle of the concept of next years car, finalising it." Fred said and I looked at him.
"We have some ideas how to make it faster, how to maximise the performance. I have a good feeling about it."
"Sounds good to me… although I want this season to be over first, before I think about the new season." I said and he nodded.
"We will get there, Charles. Don’t worry." Fred said and I got up "You focus on this year and I focus on next year."
"I will." I smiled and left his office, with a better feeling than before I’ve entered it.
I parked the car and got into the elevator.
"Lizzie?" I called out as soon as I walked inside the flat "Cara mia? Are you here?"
No answer. I dropped my keys off on the drawer and put my bag down on the bed room, pulling out my phone.
"Hey Charlie. Are you back?" Lizzie answered immediately.
"Just got in." I grabbed something to drink and walked into the living room.
"I’m at your mum’s. She’s cutting my hair a little." Lizzie said and I chuckled.
"Ouuuhhh I can’t wait for your new look." I smiled and sat down on the sofa.
"Not a new look, silly. She’s just cutting off my tips. They look a little unhealthy." she said and I heard Maman saying that Lizzie should sit still "Sorry Pascale."
"Then I don’t want to be the cause of you twitching around… see you later." I said.
"Alright. See you. Love you."
"Love you too." I said and hung up.
I switched on the tv and leaned back, scrolling through my phone. Seeing some tribute posts for Jules and I swallowed hard. I almost forgot what day today was. The tributes were beautiful, as always, a lot of them with pictures of Jules and I. I kept scrolling, until I came across a post about me. My season so far. I clicked on the link in the bio, opening an article about me. An article that was published by Marca.
Charles Leclerc - Ferrari’s biggest hope only a shadow of his past self
I read it. With every word the sickening feeling inside me got worse and worse. The things I’ve read over the past weeks all summed up. All the things I’ve criticised myself and everything beyond all laid out in front of me. The last sentences were the final blow.
He was believed to continue his late godfather Jules Bianchi’s, whose death marks the 8th anniversary today, legacy, they called him Il Predestinato, the predestined, but as of lately he doesn’t live up to his name.
I put my phone down. Wiping stray tears off of my cheeks. They were right. They were all right. I just didn’t want to see it.
"Thanks Pascale, it looks amazing!" I kissed her cheek and she laughed.
"I cut off your tips! Nothing more!" she shook her head and I grabbed my phone "Give Charles a kiss from me, oui? Today is a tough day for him…"
"I will, don’t worry. I’ll grab us something to eat and we’ll have a quiet night before we leave tomorrow." we kissed cheeks and I left, pre ordering some food for pick up. Right as I got inside my car I got a text from Joris, with a link to a news article. I opened it and immediately revved the engine, driving straight home to Charles.
I unlocked the door and entered the dark flat. Not a single light was switched on, silence. Charles keys on the drawer, he was at home. I took my shoes off and walked through the hallway, as I came into the living room he sat at his piano, dark room, hands in his lap, head hung low, hair dishevelled, eyes on the keys.
"Charles?" I said quietly, he didn’t even flinch. He just sat up, wiped his face with his hands, turned around and put on a smile, more fake than anything I’ve ever seen before. His eyes betrayed him, they looked lost, almost dead "Hey, my pretty boy." I walked up to him and he got up.
"Hi, cara mia." he said it with a weak voice then he cleared his throat "Are you hungry? I think there’s some leftover pasta?" he wanted to walk away but I grabbed his hand.
"Charles, talk to me, please." I pleaded but he just shook his head.
"Lizzie, it’s nothing! I’m fine! It was just an article, I’m used to it!" he said and pulled his hand out of my grasp, I could see the tears gathering at his waterline, as he walked away.
"Charles, we promised we’d always be honest!" I whispered and he stopped abruptly "We said we never lie to each other." my voice falters and he turned around.
He looked at me for a second before his resolve started to crumble and I could see all the pain, exhaustion, anxiety, disappointment, hurt, pressure and fear of the last weeks in his face. I could see how everything seemed to came crushing down on him at this very moment and he began to tremble, I made a step towards him but he took one step back, I stopped dead in my tracks and he looked at me shocked.
"I’m sorry!" his voice was hoarse and raspy I only nodded and took another cautious step towards him but this time he didn’t move, so I stepped in front of him and he looked down to the ground. His breathing was shallow.
"I’ve read it… what they’re saying… what if they’re really thinking like that? What if everyone agrees? What if it’s the truth and we just don’t want to see it?" he whispered and I took his hand in mine "I’m not good enough, not anymore, I thought after last year we’re on a good way, but we’re not and I’m clearly part of the problem! I’m underperforming, I make mistake after mistake, fuck, Miami! Twice in the same fucking wall! Baku? Also in the wall! Then 2 DNFs! Carlos is outperforming me this season! What if they’re all right and I don’t have what it takes to become a World Champion. What if I never be able to make Jules and Papa proud like that?" tears running down his cheeks.
"Hey! Look at me, Charles! Enough, okay? That’s enough! I said it in Austria before! It’s enough! This whole stupid narrative that he is the better driver, that he’s the one who brings home the big points? He carries this season on his shoulders? Fuck this shit? The people saying that! Charles you had two DNFs, both not your fault! And he is only a handful of points ahead! So what?! That’s not a driver who carries a team! You won a race and had another podium! And another sprint race podium! You had a pole already! And that all with a car that is clearly designed for him? And a shit box in general! Oh please! And that he is so fucking obsessed with you lately and has to rant in every fucking interview? And then Ferrari wants to shut me up? They should keep their side of the street clean before they come for mine! You are the number one! Everyone can see it! They should start to value you, before someone else will! It’s bullshit that all the interests in you died down apparently! I know that Felix would love to have you in our team! And Christian is a weird ass at times but he would hire you in no time at all! Fuck I think even Mercedes would give you rather than Mick the seat if Lewis would retire! Every other team on the grid would take you in, no doubt!" I said, recounting everything that has been mentioned in the article, but he only shook his head.
"You’re my girlfriend! Of course you think like that…" he mumbled and I scoffed.
"Listen to me, Leclerc. I never lied to you about your abilities! I never lied to you when it came to your skills, your talent! And I’m not starting now with it! So when I say that you are World Champion material and he is not, I’m saying that because I raced you my entire life and I know it! You hear me? I know it!" I said it with a stern voice.
"I don’t know, Lizzie. Lately I’m just tired of it all, I don’t know if it’s all worth it anymore…" he looked at the ground again.
"What are you saying?" I looke at him confused.
"There is no other team for me… it was always like this. Ferrari or nothing… but I have failed the team, the Tifosi, you! And the team clearly doesn’t have faith in me anymore. There is so much going on in the team, Lizzie, things I can’t tell you. The politics have changed. Fred tries his best to keep me going, to reassure me, but he’s not my team principal, he’s not the one who makes the decisions. He’s involved in the car development for next year, he’s more doing internal stuff. But the rest of the team? I feel like a lot of them lost their faith in me! And I can’t even blame them! It’s just… fuck! There is no one fighting for me, there is just no one in my fucking corner. And I can’t do it alone. I can’t continue like this. Not when I don’t know who still has my back. Not when I don’t know who to trust anymore." his voice broke and he buried his face in his hands. My heart broke, I pulled him into my arms and hugged him tight. His body began to tremble and he started sobbing.
"I can’t do it anymore, Lizzie. I just… I can’t… it’s just too much. I-I’m a failure and I’m… I’m never… I can’t… It’s just so hard… I just…" his breathing was staggering and he began to shake violently "I can’t… Lizzie I can’t… breathe…" he was almost unable to say the words.
I guided him to the sofa and pushed him down, then kneeled in between his legs and cradled his face between my hands. His breathing was shallow, his hands were shaking, lips trembling, silent tears running down his cheeks, as he desperately gasped for air.
"Charles, listen to me, ok? Can you do that for me?" he tried to take a deep breath but his breathing stopped abruptly "Charles! You’re having a panic attack! Listen to me, focus on my voice! Please! You need to focus on my voice, can you do that for me?" he looked me in the eyes, nodding slightly "Ok, good! You need to breathe with me! Inhale and hold it in okay? Inhale, 1,2,3,4,5… exhale, 1,2,3,4,5. Inhale, 1,2,3,4,5… exhale, 1,2,3,4,5. Inhale, 1,2,3,4,5… exhale, 1,2,3,4,5. Good job, you’re doing amazing! And again…" His breathing was still ragged but at least a little steadier than before.
"It hurts… it hurts to breathe…" he whispered and closed his eyes.
"I know, Charlie, I know… but we have to keep going, okay? Just for a bit until your breathing steadies okay?" I whispered and he nodded leaning his head down, resting his forehead against mine "Breathe with me…"
I pulled the blanket over his shoulders, shut off the bedside lamp, kissed his cheek and quietly left the room. Shutting the door. I sat down on the sofa pulling out my phone.
"Lizzie, is everything okay?" Dad asked as he picked up "Did something happen?"
"What? Why?" I was confused.
"It’s almost 11, you never call that late?" he answered and I shook my head, of course.
"Shit, I’m sorry Pops, I forgot about the time when…" I began but stopped, how do I explain what was going on for the past 2.5 hours?
"Is Charles okay? After that article? And then published today out of all days? He doesn’t believe a word of it, does he?" Dad asked and I half sighed, half sobbed "Hey! What’s going on, Lizzie?"
"Dad, we have to do something! They’re destroying him… he can’t be there anymore, not alone!"
"At Ferrari? What’s going on?" he asked and I didn’t even know where to start.
"I don’t know what’s going on at Ferrari… but he said that he feels like his team lost their faith in him? Like he has no one in his corner standing up for him? Fighting for him?" my voice was trembling "I could see over the past few weeks that something was going on. He dreaded going to Maranello, when did that ever happen? He didn’t highlight at every given opportunity how much he loves his team, believes in his team. And then I heard some mechanics talking about how they find it weird that Carlos, his father and cousin are at the strategy meetings sometimes? Race debriefs? That they sometimes have the feeling that they talk Mattia and Co. into giving him the better strategy. Fighting for him, while Charles is all alone! Nicholas can’t be there all the time, he has other clients. And he’s also just his manager! But Charles needs someone who fights for him! He needs a father figure standing up for him! Someone who has his back, the way Carlos dad has his!" I cried at this point while Dad was awfully quiet "Dad, I’m scared for him! First Miami? Then Baku? God Austria! The last weeks the light disappeared again out of his eyes! And then all of this shit with Diaz and me? That’s just making it all worse! I don’t know what to do anymore! I always try to talk him out of this thoughts, always try to make him see how good he really is. But today? I couldn’t get through to him. He believes every single word written in this damn article! And I just know that Diaz has something to do with it! I don’t know what to do… the last time when he was like this was after Hervé’s death, but he had racing as distraction and he loved it! But now… he spoke about quitting, he didn’t said it like that, but that was what he meant!"
"Lizzie, calm down, okay? Is he okay? Where is Charles now?" Dad asked calmly.
"He’s sleeping now. He had a panic attack, he couldn’t breathe anymore! Dad he broke down in my arms… I can’t see him like this anymore!" I almost whispered it.
"You won’t. It’s enough now. Don’t worry, Lizzie. I’ll take care of it." Dad reassured me.
"But how?" I asked exhausted.
"I’ll go and have a talk with Nicholas, we will find a solution how we put someone in his corner, someone who’s fighting for him!" he said it with determination and I nodded to myself, feeling the exhaustion taking over "I promised his dad something, and I will hold onto that promise! And now, my Lizzie. Go to sleep. You sound exhausted and tired. It’s all going to be okay, I promise you." Dad said quietly.
"Thanks Dad! Good night, love you!" I said.
"Good night, my little owl. I love you too, both of you!"
Chapter 35 - a "shorter" one (the first under 10k words after a long while)… poor Charles. Just when we thought our lovebirds might get their well deserved break 👀😬
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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!
Taglist:
@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1 @janeholt3 @maeve-wileyy @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09
All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc 16#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x female driver#cl16#cl16 imagine#cl16 fic#cl16 fluff#cl16 edit#cl 16#ferrari#scuderia ferrari#formula 1#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x female driver#f1#f1 writing#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 fiction#f1 x female driver#female driver
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