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cirrus-grey · 9 months

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I have now finished watching Good Omens Season 2

If you haven't already, please block the tag "good omens spoilers" - I won't post anything else until Friday night at the earliest, but after that all bets are off.

@albertinesimonet, I did not manage a full liveblog but I did jot down my reactions after watching each episode, and those are compiled under the cut :)

(SPOILERS!)

Episode 1:

Holy flipping fuck are they actually making the ineffable husbands canon???

Okay.

Look.

I saw that it was trending alongside Supernatural and OFMD. I suspected it was going this way, and the season had ended with some sort of confession/immediate separation.

That did not prepare me for the season to open with Crowley saying "hello gorgeous" to a nebula and Aziraphale being disappointed that Crowley wasn't talking to him. Or for Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy to be playing while Crowley rushed to Aziraphale's aid, like-

This is a fanfic. This is a motherfucking fanfic, and I am pleased to say that my brain is processing it as such, a well-written but ultimately non-canon fanfic (*puts on my "I still have book!omens brainrot" shirt*) that just so happens to have been written by one of the original authors.

Anyway, outside of my snorting disbelief that the first ship that I ever shipped is apparently going canon in one 'verse, I do actually have some legitimate theories, which run as follows:

A. I know this season is the plot-bridge between the original novel and what would have been the sequel, and B. I know the sequel was going to involve the second coming of Christ, therefore C. I suspect this Resurrectionist group that kept getting hinted at in the promos is trying to bring Jesus back, Gabriel found out and tried to stop it, and that's why he lost his memories. I'm a tad bit surprised Heaven as a whole doesn't seem to be involved in the return of their special boy, but I guess we'll see how that plays out as the season goes along.

Episode 2:

Oh hey, I've read this one before! "It's ancient Biblical times and Crowley and Aziraphale are angsting about their orders and finding solace in each other's company" may have never gotten its own tag, but there are certainly enough fics about it that it could.

"Can I be a blue one?" Weird kids are the best.

So the Resurrectionist is a pub, not a group. Still think they have something to do with the second coming, but I'm open to being proven wrong.

Gotta say, I didn't expect Every Day to be plot-relevant. I knew they had it for the soundtrack, but I'm really liking this sort of spooky-mystery-music-mixup they've got going with it - love the way its incorporated into the end credits, too.

Totally down for master-thief Jane Austen, btw.

How many people are writing fics about Crowley and Aziraphale getting caught in a rainstorm and hiding under an awning even as I type...

Episode 3:

How to run a bookshop, a guide by A.J. Crowley: Carry large stacks of books around aimlessly and then toss them on the floor when you get bored.

I'm honestly surprised his awning plan nearly worked. Curses be upon weak awnings, I suppose.

I do like that the Bentley recognizes that it has to play nice with whichever one of its dads is in the driver's seat lol

Okay so they keep drawing attention to the fact that there's flies in the bookshop, and now Beelzebub is acting off. Are the flies like... telepathically communicating Gabriel's worldviews to them? Is that how they figured out he was there?

That bit he said when Crowley mentioned tempests is definitely from the Revelations. I unfortunately don't know enough about the Revelations to draw any new conclusions from this. I know they deal with the apocalypse and the antichrist, but that was S1 stuff so there must be something else...

(That bit definitely sounded like Rapture stuff though, just saying)

Lotta talk about people coming back from the dead, here. It's doing little to dissuade me from my idea that this is all related to the second coming. Their "little" miracle was strong enough to bring 25 people back? Okay. How did Gabriel add his own power to it... and who did he bring back? (Does 1 Jesus = 25 normal people?)

...Okay yeah I just googled it and the second coming (and the rapture) is definitely in Revelations. Apparently the appearance of the antichrist is its herald. *insert 'oh yeah it's all coming together' gif here*

...

Several-hours later addition: When they were talking about gravity Gabriel seemed upset that the book didn't stay where it was put, "it goes down." And that flies go up.

...did he "go down," turning into a human, and is Beelzebub "going up," and that's why they're so worried about finding Gabriel? Figure out what happened to him, so it doesn't happen to them as well? Hmm...

Episode 4:

"The rumors that you two are an item..." Yeah holy fuck they're actually doing this. I don't know why it keeps catching me by surprise??? I guess it's not like, the forefront of the plot, so every time it comes to the front it feels a bit like a new thing, but still.

Aziraphale's smug fucking little eyebrow raise at that "I didn't think you were his type." He's like yeah, and what do you know, hm?

Did not expect the entire episode to be backstory, but that was very cute, especially given how much people fixated on the church scene in S1. That little showcase of their trust, both of them worried it'll go wrong but still willing to try because they feel safe with each other. I like that they managed to keep the tension of the setting, that "I'm pointing a gun at my best friend and this could go horribly wrong" feeling, even when it's well-established that the worst that could happen is paperwork.

Also, Crowley trying really, really hard to give Aziraphale positive feedback on his magic tricks even when he knows they suck. That's true love, right there.

Another showcase of people coming back from the dead. We've had the kids getting "brought back" from shape-shifting, the "resurrectionists" digging up dead bodies, and now actual honest-to-god zombies. I am Sensing A Theme.

...are the zombies still around? What's-is-face the demon did say eternal undeath...

Aaaaaand there's going to be an army of demons dropping in on the local business association meeting. I hope Aziraphale has enough tea cakes for everyone.

Episode 5:

SEAMSTRESSES SHOUTOUT ITS A FUCKING DISCWORLD REFERENCE

I know most people are probably going wild over the Dr. Who references but. It's the seamstresses guild...

I'm sure Mrs. Sandwich and Rosie Palm would get along famously.

In other news wow they're just being blatant about the ineffableness of these husbands now, aren't they? The great thing about that is I'm watching it with my parents and I don't think either of them have clicked that it's going canon - like, they're just interpreting it as a running bit, 'haha isn't it funny that everyone keeps mistaking them as a couple' kind of thing. The same thing happened when I showed them OFMD, neither of them realized Ed and Stede were actually going to be a real canon thing until the kiss. I mean, maybe they've worked out that this is going somewhere by now? But I don't want to ask in case they haven't, because I'd love to see their reaction if it blindsides them.

I am Not Normal about the dancing. Aziraphale's giddy little grin when he drags Crowley to the floor? The fucking. Hand presses. I've probably read too much Jane Austen if I'm going this insane about them just pressing their palms together.

And just... that whole fucking scene. The amount of queer people - either queercoded or just flat-out obviously queer - is making my heart feel full. When Aziraphale referred to the magic shop owner's partner using 'they' before we met them I thought it was just, you know, being polite, he'd never met them and didn't want to assume, but then they showed up in person and folks were still using they and they were so obviously giving a huge middle finger to gender norms I just-

Man I need to watch more queer shows I love this feeling.

And the army of demons is more of a large crowd but, well, still threatening. I like the use of masks to hide demonic traits, clever costuming detail there.

But. My dudes. Don't split up, what the fuck are you doing? You've been here for all of human history, you know how stories go, surely you know things always go wrong when you split the party??? I love protective!crowley, I do, but my dude taking off to bring this mess to heaven's attention is not the way to go about saving your angel. And Aziraphale, buddy, I don't know what you're planning to summon there but I really don't think it's going to go well.

...Maybe he's planning to teleport himself, Gabriel, and the humans up to heaven, too, to get them away from the demon crowd. It would be funny if Crowley and what's their name, Muriel, step out of the elevator and Aziraphale is just. There already.

(I don't think that's gonna happen though. I think everything is just gonna get Worse)

Anyway sidenote Lottie if you've read this far, when Gabriel started talking about feeling like a house I immediately thought of you, I know that's a theme you like ♡

Episode 6:

Jesus Christ!

(Called it!)

So I got a lot of the details wrong, but I was spot on with my two big predictions from the beginning. (Hey that ending reminded me of OFMD and Supernatural, I've got a great idea, why don't we all blog about the three of them and get them trending together-)

Gotta say, I'd only given a passing thought to Gabriel and Beelzebub being a Thing, their shippers must be going wild.

I knew there was a reason they kept drawing attention to that fly.

*Spots fire extinguishers* "Hey is that a Magnus Archives ref-" *Is brutally murdered with a lead pipe before I can finish*

I actually kind of love that Nina and Maggie didn't get together at the end of it all? I had felt like it was all going a bit too fast for them and I'm so glad they acknowledged that. They've got time, now, to work things out, and I love that they left it with the certainty that they'd be there for each other in the future... but not quite yet.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And they fit in the halos-used-as-lethal-frisbees-sequence! That was fabulous, I want to see more exploding headgear.

...anyway I think that's all the little bits I wanted to mention before getting to the Main Event.

I'm actually... not all that devastated about that ending? Like, okay, my heart was breaking watching it, the miscommunication and assumptions leading to a dramatic separation, it's tragic and angsty and oh my god my ship kissed my first ever ship kissed they did it they did the thing-

But. Two seconds after the credits started rolling my mind was already flying to, "oh thank goodness, they've got a Source On The Inside now and they might actually have a shot at stopping the end of the world instead of, you know, being blindsided by it because no one in heaven or hell is talking to them"

Like, sure, major breakup here, Crowley's gonna be pissed and Aziraphale might have to do their silly little "I'm sorry" dance three or four times before they can actually get down to business, but I don't think there's a question that both of them still trust each other immensely and know they can rely on each other to help out in a pinch. They'll be walking on eggshells for a bit, but it's pretty obvious that Aziraphale wouldn't have taken the promotion if he'd known Crowley wasn't going to come with him and as soon as he manages to properly communicate that fact they'll be fine.

(Sidenote, this, right here, exemplifies the difference between Book!Aziraphale and TV!Aziraphale. Book!Aziraphale is way more cynical about the whole heaven-and-hell system, he'd never say "heaven's still the good guys," and he'd be very, very suspicious of a sudden promotion landing in his lap after such a tumultuous sequence of events. TV!Aziraphale might not be the sweet little innocent bean fandom makes him out to be, but damn is he naive compared to his book counterpart. Makes me wonder how much of the hypothetical sequel has to change to work with this plotline - I'd bet my ass he wasn’t an archangel in that one.)

Can Crowley... hear the soundtrack? "No nightingales" like how does he know that's significant? Sir you are breaking the fourth wall-

(And how powerful is he? He's a nobody in hell but he keeps stopping time and could access classified documents up in heaven, something made his and Aziraphale's miracle blow up and apparently it wasn't Gabriel, and he also just brought a whole ass dude back from the dead??? Maybe those "Crowley is Raphael" theorists from S1 had a point)

Anyway, to cap it all off: my current predictions for S3 are the aforementioned ineffable husbands makeup and subsequent spy shenanigans as they scramble to try to stop Apocalypse 2: Jesus Boogaloo; they fail and Jesus comes back, but instead of following the Great Plan he instead chooses to side with "all of humanity against all of heaven and hell" (maybe Adam shows up too to help out?); and Crowley, despite his repeated protests, actually does end up running a bookshop because he doesn't trust Muriel to do it properly.

I summation, yes I am still alive, and very excited for the next season, whenever it happens. Also I need gifsets of the dance scene and that kiss ASAP please and thank you.

#im posting this and then going to bed so ill answer any comments in the morning ♡#good omens tv #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #original post #my good omens stuff #<- good god i need to back-tag a lot of posts into that group

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rainbownixie · 2 years

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since the script still isn't here and i'm going insane, i have returned to pester you some more.

i would like to know your most angsty mike and/or byler fic ideas or headcanons

sorry for the late reply i've been too tired lately to check the inbox!!! but now i'm here with some angsty ideas </3

will gifted mike a set of dice to play dnd and he never stopped using them! they were one of his most precious objects! but when the byers move to cali, mike can't even look at them and has to buy another set. when he plays it's never the same but refuses to use will's dice again. it's not worth it if will isn't there playing with him.

(sorry to everyone who likes ted i personally don't so) i imagine ted making passive aggressive homophobic comments such as "everyone chooses their own lifestyle but i don't think queers should be allowed to act like that on the streets", "mike be careful who you're friends with", "violence is not great but hey, what did they expect looking like that?" etc etc etc and mike would hear all of that on a daily basis. so ofc he would start thinking being gay is wrong. (it's okay nancy always argues with ted about it and defends mike without even knowing she's defending HIM)

mike now hates rain because it reminds him of that fight with will. it makes him anxious and instantly sad so whenever it rains he doesn't get out of his room.

mike has a secret diary but it's mostly written in a fantasy/novel way to express his deepest secrets. one day he realizes that most of the pages are basically poems about will and just after the byers move to cali he rips off the pages out of frustration and crying. he then hides them under his bed.

oh, mike definitely has self image issues and is very very insecure about his face and body (bullying does stuff to you) and often avoids mirrors (i hate that because he's so damn pretty but i don't think he sees himself that way)

mike actually wants to spend more time with nancy and admires her a lot but doesn't know how to reach out to her. he feels stupid and childish for wanting to go back to when they were kids, but he misses the time where nancy paid more attention to him.

(i love adhd mike btw) he gets overwhelmed when there's too much noise because he basically can't think or talk or process any information and that's why he sometimes seems mean. he isn't, he's just frustrated and wants to cry. same thing when he has too many thoughts and struggles to express himself.

mike doesn't let himself cry even when there's nobody around because it makes him feel weak. that's why when he's sad he often avoids seeing karen because seeing his mom only makes him want to hug her and cry.

(not really angsty byler but angst related to byler ig?) mike used to go to the byers house to play with will when they were kids and once he saw how lonnie treated them he started insisting on always hanging out at his house. will only told mike about what his father did and made him promise to not tell everyone. mike was just furious.

mike has a lot of nightmares about bullying and everything upside down related. he wakes up shaking and crying and only wants to call will and hear his voice. but then he remembers it's late and that he also struggles with sleeping so he just looks at his drawings.

i know he looks like he has rocks for a brain it he's actually an overthinker and spends hours assuming that everyone hates him.

i would've written more stuff but!!! idk brain doesn't work today ig??? no thoughts head empty moment tbh- hope you liked these tho!!! <33

#god i love mike so much #angsty mike my beloved i want to hug you i need to hug you #let me hug mike wheeler please #byler #mike wheeler

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justarandomsloth · 1 year

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okay. okay okay. asks for that naga idea !

first and foremost, do you have any ideas for who the human will be? and i saw you mentioned you weren't entirely sure about tommy, so will be the endgame t!naga?

mm language barriers!!!! if you do include one, will it be that tommy doesn't talk or he speaks a different language? and, will there be any overcoming either one? AND if it's a different language, does tommy have any understanding for what the human is saying? or are they both just like completely lost ?? dfjdjf

does tommy have a bad past? maybe one with humans that made him assume he was being taken as a pet or just one that gave him the startles and other trauma responses ?

and and, in relation to that, when the human does capture them, do they intend to do what tommy's thinking, or no? something better (examining him/studying him in a curious way. like maybe human was too grabby or genuinely just wanted to look at snek guy) oooOOR something worse? >:D

that is what i got for now. also btw would like to know your spot on noms/vore pspsps i don't wanna show up in your askbox talkin' about them if you're not a fan!

I wasn’t actually going to write this but since you’re interested I may write it in my free time!!

If I were GOING to write it…

—Wilbur would be the human and Tommy would be the t!naga

—There would NOT be a language barrier but their first interaction would be Wilbur catching Tommy and Tommy just screams like a feral cat for 10 minutes cause he thinks Wilbur is a scientist (there is a reason why he thinks that but I’ll share it later)

—I want this to be a fairly light fic so I’d say that no, Tommy’s just freaked out because he isn’t used to being alone and his old family told him stories about the big, bad humans (and he thinks Wilbur is a scientist so THAT doesn’t help)

—Wilbur just wanted to look and just wanted to help the little snek guy :D

My stance on noms is that I’m ok with it and I read it but I don’t really see myself writing/drawing it. I DO enjoy stories that don’t have vore more but having vore doesn’t make me enjoy a story less (if that makes sense). Few free to talk and ask about it but just know I won’t contribute that much and I won’t write any!

Thanks Brick for the AMAZING questions and for just being so energetic and kind!!

(Also I have been here for about a year (maybe more) but I didn’t do much and I took a LONG break but I’m glad I’ve started to talk to people!)

#mcyt g/t #dsmp g/t #g!wilbur #t!tommy #human!wilbur #Naga!tommy #Sloth Q’s #It’s like 11pm tho and I’m tired and I’ve gotten so many fake fic ideas in my inbox but those can wait till tomorrow-#Feel free to send asks I just won’t respond until later!

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palioom · 3 months

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do you have any advice for writers? i’ve written a couple strories here and there throughout the years and want to start again. you seem to have so many interesting ideas and are brave enough to share them!

hello anon!! thank you so much for asking, that's really sweet and i'm honored tbh 🖤🥺

i'm honestly horrible at giving advice but i will try!

it's gonna sound clichée and all but - just go for it! even if it's just a small, silly idea - write it out, don't overthink what others might think.

write down anything that comes to your mind!

i have a doc specifically for snippets and blurbs that are just fleeting thoughts - dialogue, scene descriptions etc. etc. chances are that once you've written it down, you come back to it and flesh it out. or you have something that just perfectly fits into a fic in the future.

use prompt lists to get started! just googling like "smut prompts" or "fluff prompts" will give you many lists where you can pick and choose from.

what also helped me to find ideas is random conversations with friends, doesn't even have to be fandom related! engaging with others, or maybe drawing from your own life experiences all make for interesting and funny ideas.

browse google or pinterest, the most random moodboards or pictures will spark the most random ideas ngl.

start out small maybe. starting out with the biggest idea could make you feel overwhelmed. a few hundred words do the trick too and it makes you get comfortable with the whole process of writing and uploading something so it's not as daunting later.

don't force anything. don't feel the vibe of one story rn? put it down and continue or start with something else to do on the side until inspiration strikes again.

most importantly: do. not. compare. yourself.

seriously. it's difficult and man, i deal with it too. but a bunch of numbers on your stuff is not indicative of the quality of your fics. it's luck, really, and obviously it helps when people have friends that help share things around.

and ask for help if you need it! i'm sure many people are willing to help with all sorts of things or point you in the right direction, myself included 🖤

i used to write for years without publishing anything too, and i only really got the inspiration and motivation to share in this fandom ngl.

i still have hella anxiety to share stuff sometimes, btw, so if you worry about that, it really just is something you'll have to get used to. but it does get easier with time, trust me!

hope this helped a little, i tried to cover a little bit of everything but feel free to reach out again if you want more advice! 🖤

#anon #ask #this was so sweet

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whataphantasia · 7 months

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oog i keep forgetting to post here,,, i did a really big oc x canon promptlist on my alt twitter acc like, last year, and i like the stuff i did for it so im posting it here :3

day 1: dancing

needed to draw this for the fic where they dance at prom and a destroyed universe respectively ^_^

day 2: stargazing. the thumbnail image at the top :D

day 3: phone call

day 4: (not so) sneaky glances

ely sits inbetween these two in class. they have to deal with them staring daggers at each other. very stressful sorry ely </3 here's the doodle from like 2019 that made me wanna draw this

also like there's this moment in the fic where eadr is watching mysterious mysteries together and..... HSHSBDHSHDGDHDHS

day 5: "i'm proud of you"

THESE TWO NEED VALIDATION SO BAD RAGHHH don't @ me about the lighting on zim IK ITS REVERSED,,,

day 6: music/playlist. i didn't make any art for this but i did show off my playlists for zaeadr :D i will not elaborate here bc I Don't Feel Like It.

day 7: whispers

this is actually a redraw... :3c specieswap eadr! so cute :)

day 8: closeness

ok i didnt actually make any new art for this i just posted two old ones from 2021 LOL

day 9: protectiveness (CW blood)

dib and zim r dangerous to have as love interests come on ely 😔

day 10: "how was your day" (CW blood as well)

ely needs to tell him to stop tracking blood into the house.....

day 11: one wish

WOW something NOT ely related?! anyways ana and ad's whole love arc is kinda like... they both have responsibilities and unrequited feelings. moreso than my other oc x canon pairings. i think them a lot

day 12: matching accessories

cove jumpscare. IDK I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MATCHING KEYCHAINS HE BUYS FOR MC... this is reiner btw i was playing as xim in my like 3rd playthrough >_< xe's fond of spoiling him with gifts, more than my other mcs...

day 13: nightmare

it took me 13 days to break and make sans x shelby art SJWKDJWJ anyway. shelby doesn't meet him pre-corruption but whatever i think they're cute

day 14: makeup

I HATE THIS DRAWING RAAAA but ely likes asking to do his nails ^_^ even tho theyre terrible at it but he doesnt mind :3c

day 15: "you are my happiness"

ok uhh my bad this isn't oc x canon LOL. but... erfi and ana... have a lot of angst like halfway/early in their arc bc erfi sees her as a beacon of light/savior, especially due to her current relationship with the ppl in her life.................... they get better dw!!! ad goes through a similar arc so i think that was how i tied it into the oc x canon promptlist LMAO

day 16: indirect kiss

SODA BOTTLE... IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW. i've talked about this scene in the fic NON STOP to my close friends.... its when dib realizes he has a crush on ely...... i drew this like in 2021 SHWJSJW

day 17: morning cuddles

SORRY i just think it's a super funny possibility that zim becomes domestic. idc if it's out of character thats why its funny U_U!!

oh and uhm yea i have a fankid 4 these guys... have i talked abt her... i dont think i have... but ive drawn her a lot... maybe ill post more art abt her later...

day 18: photoshoot

uhhhmmm im gonna crop this for my tumblr.... yea.... anyways i love the possibility that when they're adults they become super popular, like in dib's wonderful life of doom X)

day 19: voicemail. THAT ONE THING I POSTED!! yes it was a shelby x error thing. i was listening to pick up the phone by fir at the time, which like, its not the errorshelby dynamic at all they're not toxic, but. the vibes... in the fic after shelby leaves the anti void he has a massive crisis... thats what the drawing is...

day 20: "what happened to you"

BRO I HAVE SO MANY IMAGES RELATED TO THIS FOR ANA AND ADAMAÏ... the images explain everything idc read them instead

day 22/23: hand made gift, late night drive

ummmm sooooo theres this chapter in the fic where they go to an echo flower field on the surface at night........ this is that.... DIES

that last one i never posted on twitter :0c and uhm thats all i did of the 30 day promptlist! it was fun! i got to draw so much... yay :3 thats all. explodes in embarrassment

#ph_art #ph_ramb #ph_iz #ph iz:ss #ph_ut #ph_wakfu #zaeadr #phoc_elycrowe #phoc_reiner #phoc_anastasieteilun #phoc_shelbyquill #phoc_erfi #ah yes ive madeANOTHER long ass post my FAVORITE

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zontiky · 4 years

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Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK???

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt!

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

#asks #tinky-wink #tua #aus #hcs #rambles #stray au #team zero

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