If gender is eternal, like the family proc says, than it exists beyond the scope of physical reproduction. Otherwise it would be useless in the times in our lives when we are not able to reproduce. Gender would be irrelevant for the young, the old, the singles, the infertile, those who intend to marry and are currently keeping the law of chastity, etc.

If gender is eternal then we had it in the pre-existance and it is a part of our spirit, not our body. Our bodies don't always match our spirits, as any bald man will likely agree. Gender cannot be determined merely by physical metrics.

If gender is eternal, then it is like other eternal things. We know it's not eternally bad like eternal misery, eternal damnation, eternal stagnation. Eternally bad things are static and unchanging. Gender is eternally good, like eternal growth, eternal happiness, eternal progress. All eternally good things are in a state of growth, change, and expansion.

Therefore our current understandings of gender are most likely inaccurate in the long term and based on temporary mortal circumstances that will soon pass.

Unlike those who are, ironically, most likely to quote the Family Proclamation, I choose to actually take it seriously when it says "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

Heyyy i saw your post reblogged by churchblog, and had a thought that was too long too long to comment😅 I don’t know if this would help at all but, I’ll give it my best shot!

I’m in roughly the same boat of very often not finding my values and abilities in the same framework as traditional gender roles. I also love cooking cleaning, anticipate having kids, the whole 9 yards of traits generally associated traditionally with women. What has helped for me is not trying to “work around” the issue, but confronting it head on.

All this proclamation says explicitly is that fathers are to “preside…in love and righteousness” and “provide the necessities of life and protection”. In other words, love your family and make sure y’all can survive. Living in a very gendered society, there are expectations and roles assigned to these phrases, but it’s important to distinguish what God expects of us and what society expects. The ideal of “divine design” as you referenced based around men working and being a macho dudebro protective father typically associated with fatherhood in the church/in conservative circles isn’t the actual divine design that God has ordained for families and fathers. At the core of it, what Heavenly Father wants for our families regardless of what temporal role we play, is that we make the best lives for our families and love them as much as we can.

We all have differences and strengths to utilize in this pursuit, and all that matters is that we work to exemplify the 2 great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbor, especially within our homes. God will not judge our efforts using the criteria of fallen mankind dictating specific assignments based on traditional gender roles that have been associated with this particular portion of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. He looks on the heart and judges based on your sincere effort to love and provide according your ability. And that will look different depending on who you are. God knows you and the unique ways that only you can do to support and love your family, so love the way that you love, do what works for you and your family, and God will accept your effort.

Hope that helps, and if not, hopefully something else does soon!

Wow, that's actually a pretty awesome answer! You really just put it into perspective (because, it's like, I've heard and seen all of this, but the way it was worded just helped it fall into place)

Also, first ask answered!

Matthew 6:27

"Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit to his stature?"

I saw this used with an anti-trans slant to indicate men cannot make themselves into women. However, I think the verse could be taken another way - to indicate lgbtqia+ people are not expected to change who they are.

To me, Matthew 6:25-34 is really about not worrying, and about prioritizing and exercising faith in God. Different translations would say "Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (NIV).

In this case someone might say to me "See? You shouldn't worry about your gender. If even food and clothing aren't things to worry about, why should gender identity matter?"

And I would point to the essential, eternal importance of gender.

Queen Mary of Denmark and Crown Prince Christian of Denmark participate in the Danish Parliament's celebration of the succession of the throne at Danish Parliament, in Copenhagen, Denmark -January 15th 2024.

2014 - 2023

It would have been amazing if Queen Mary would have worn this pumps for the proclamations, they would have fit for her colour-scheme🙈

my little sister was talking to me about having some type of pain in her legs and wishing there was a way to help it. i was like oh just use my cane, it stopped working for me but it may help you. and when i tell you i saw the lightbulb go on over her head bro it was fucking crazy

Oh hey, empasizing that policy changes happen and don't reflect doctrine *hint hint* *points at le gays* *waiting since forever*

King Charles III, Queen Consort Camilla and The Prince of Wales attend the proclamation of King Charles III at the Accession Council in the State Apartments of St James's Palace in London, England -September 10th 2022.

I kinda struggle with the "Family Proclamation," but not in the way most people do

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." It's a small thing, and when I see quotes from the Proclamation, it skips this part over. But I can't

I'm left wondering "what's wrong with me." I want to be a good Father, and a good Priesthood Holder (neither of which I had growing up), but I want to be the parent staying home. Me & my wife discuss, and we go back & forth on this issue, but we won't even have kids for a few years. It shouldn't be an issue then, but it is

I love cleaning the house, making dinner, and all those those activities that would've been called "women's work" in the savage ages. I have trouble holding down a job, no matter how much I like it (in fact, I try harder when I dislike it, for some reason). And this leads me to ask "how can God love me as much as other people, when he made them according to his divine design, but makes me against it." It's like when I realized I was attracted to my best friend (who was also AMaB), and wondered why God made me that way

It's kind of a stupid thing to get hung up on. I was able to keep my testimony from the worst slander the Baptists could throw at me (and I mean dig deep for stuff like "Adam-God" or "Blood Atonement"), from my own discovery of bisexuality, from my Liberal politics, from literally being told I couldn't go to the Celestial Kingdom because I didn't want to be sealed to my abusive mother (fun fact, I first met my wife when I was crying about that particular gem), but I struggle with this!? And I still believe the Book of Mormon is true, and Joseph Smith was a Prophet (as well as Brigham & having the Apostolic Authority, reinforced by the Savior visiting Lorenzo Snow). So, is this a case of God wanting me to suffer, or the Church getting it wrong?

And there's ways around it. My wife says we fall under "Disability, death, or other circumstances," which "may necessitate individual adaptation" (I have ADHD, Autism (which is just self diagnosed for now), and Depression). My father says I'm "providing for the necessities by making sure my wife is able to not worry about home." Both, while possibly true, just don't strike with me. But why can't I accept them!?

Whatever the answer, I hold on to the Testimony I have, that men are that they might have joy. Not joy in some far off future, but here and now. That we are called to build Zion, and I will do my part (even if the part of Zion I'm called to is only found in my home. Or even if it's across the world). That the Savior is my perfect example, whether I stay at home, or go abroad

But, I'm hoping for an answer sooner rather than later. Obviously, I'm looking for Work (Amazon is firing me because their Health Leave policy is crap, and they should obviously make a guy who is regularly passing out work but heavy machinery that has killed people before), because damn it, I don't want my kids to survive, but thrive. I'll work as much as I can to save up for them, and for mine & my wife's retirement. But if we ultimately decide, when we have them, that I'll be the parent staying home with the kids, I don't want to be constantly consumed with thoughts that I'm defying God's will

(And I do understand how heartless this may sound to the Queer Mormon Community. I'm in a Straight passing marriage (to someone I'm actually attracted to), and will hopefully have kids one day. In the Church where we're constantly told that's the ideal. I am not trying to be whiny, or take attention from the issue of Queerphobia in the Church, because it is an issue, and people are obviously struggling more than me. I hope it doesn't come across like I'm entitled or trying to say I'm suffering on the same level as some other people. I'm sorry if it does, and I'll do better next time)

You ever think of something that was normal to you as a kid so you had basically forgotten about it and then get super pissed

Can you give me a different way to think about the Family Proclamation because it feels like I don't fit

Here's some things to keep in mind regarding "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" --

1. It is not scripture, despite the fact last year it was included in the Come Follow Me lessons along with the Doctrine & Covenants. When Elder Packer referred to the Proclamation as "revelation" in General Conference, the phrase was changed to "a guide" when his talk was published.

2. The General Presidencies of the Relief Society, Young Women & Primary were not consulted when it was written even though it covers issues important to women, youth and children.

3. The family model described in the proclamation of one man + one woman doesn't fit our own church's history of polygamy. There are many examples of what a family looks like beyond one man + one woman.

I think remembering these things helps put the Proclamation in perspective. Let's not read more into the proclamation than is there. The document doesn't mention never-married, divorced, childless or queer people.

Our church has a doctrinal gap about what happens to anyone in the afterlife who isn't in a man+woman marriage, including singles and gay people. All we have been promised is that we will be blessed if we are faithful, but we don't know how.

If, like me, you feel you don't see yourself in the Family Proclamation, remember it contains this sentence, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation." Being queer sure seems like it qualifies as "other circumstances." I hope that helps you feel there's is a space for you that can be further explored.

King Frederik X of Denmark, Queen Mary of Denmark, Crown Prince Christian of Denmark, Princess Isabella of Denmark, Prince Vincent of Denmark and Princess Josephine of Denmark attend the proclamation of King Frederik X of Denmark and Queen Mary of Denmark on January 14th 2024, in the Throne Room at Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark -January 19th 2024.

📷 : Mads Nissen.