#even the folks you don't like. but there's enough room to exist somewhere away from them so that's great | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goddess47 · 1 year

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I posted 412 times in 2022

That's 76 more posts than 2021!

126 posts created (31%)

286 posts reblogged (69%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fullmoonficlet

@ao3feed-mcshep

@cassiope25

@thekristen999

I tagged 262 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#teen wolf - 79 posts

#sga - 60 posts

#sterekdrabbles - 53 posts

#sterek - 43 posts

#mcshep - 39 posts

#pimping - 28 posts

#stargate - 20 posts

#full moon ficlet - 19 posts

#romancing mcshep 2022 - 17 posts

#stargate atlantis - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 41 characters

#challenge: zipper spectacular responsible

My Top Posts in 2022:

Stargate Fests

The Stargate fandom has grown very much smaller from its heyday when any of the series were still being created. But there still are pockets of active Stargate folk who are hanging out, creating works and being merry.

The thing is that we're now also spread across different platforms and don't always get to visit together. The Live Journal and Dreamwidth folk don't always spend time on Tumblr and Discord, and vice versa. And the SGA folk don't always know about SG1 things happening. And I know there are SGU folk out there. Somewhere.

And it turns out that there were two separate "SGA Santa" fests going on at the same time in the Fall. There were a couple of folk who did both, but some of us didn't even know the other existed until it posted. That's okay, but either fest may have had a couple more participants if more folk knew they existed.

So I'm putting together a Stargate Fests list. All fests, of all types, of all durations, of all types of work, of all franchises. If it's related to Stargate, I'll include it on the list.

As an example, "Romancing McShep" is almost over for 2022, but I just ran across "McShep Month" on Tumblr. If I wasn't a Tumblr user, I would never have seen it.

I'm looking for your Stargate 'fest' - where fest is used in the broadest form of the word. If you'd like to see your fest added to the list, fill out the form: Fest Submission Form

There isn't a lot there right now, but I'd love to see a longer list... and if there's something critical that needs to be added in terms of fest details, I'd love to know what it is. I'm relying on the fest for details. I'm just looking for enough information to lure folk into looking...

The list I have so far is here: Stargate Fests List. I'm hoping it becomes a lot longer soon!

Tell me what you think!

90 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

Room For Rent

For @sterekdrabbles (6/17/2022) prompts: room, cheap, brother

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"Come in," Stiles invited.

Derek stepped into the small room and shook his head. "Nope. You're not staying here another minute."

"Derek! It's cheap and all I can afford!" Stiles protested.

"Anyone and their brother could break into this place," Derek replied, picking up a packing box. "It's not safe."

"I have no place else! And classes start Monday."

Derek took a breath. "The apartment Laura and I rented is still available... I never stopped paying rent..."

Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek. "There are too many memories."

Derek hugged Stiles back. "Maybe we can make some new ones? Together."

114 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

Constellations

For @sterekdrabbles 6/3/2022 prompts: expensive, bathe, curtain

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"I don't know, Derek," Stiles murmured. "It's pretty expensive for a shower curtain." Although Stiles had to admit to himself it was gorgeous.

Derek blushed. "I know, but, well, it makes me think of you."

"Really, big guy?" Stiles smiled as he turned to his husband.

Derek touched the material. "The pattern of stars looks like the scattering of moles on your back. Like you'll never be far away from me." A deeper flush. "Even if I'm only bathing."

"Aww..." Stiles leaned in for a kiss. "For that alone, I'd take a dozen."

Derek smiled as he returned the kiss.

120 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

Way To A Man's Heart

For @sterekdrabbles (6/13/2022) prompts: harass, admit, trouble

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The siren whooped once, pulling behind Derek.

Derek sighed. Harassment by the Deputies was part of dating the Sheriff's son.

"Am I in trouble..." Derek looked up from grabbing his license. "Oh. Hey, Jordan."

"Nah," Jordan said. "Saw you alone and thought I'd pass on some advice."

"Anything!" Derek begged.

"Pie. Sheriff loves pie and Stiles never lets him have any," Jordan grinned. "But if you bring it over..."

"Ah! Stiles can't complain... as much," Derek replied.

"Yup!"

"Thanks! That will be helpful," Derek admitted.

As he drove off, Derek wondered if any of Nana's recipes were in the vault.

142 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

As Advertised

For @sterekdrabbles (6/8/2022) prompt: year, sign, super

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"Rwarrr!" Eli extended his fingers like claws and swiped at the teddy bear.

"Umm... what?" Derek was confused.

Stiles shrugged. "We saw a sign in the Asian food section of the supermarket that said this is the year of the Tiger. So. Now we're a tiger."

"Oh!" Derek watched as his son pretended to pounce on the defenseless teddy bear.

"It's kinda cute," Stiles said as he leaned against Derek.

Derek wrapped his arm around Stiles and dropped a soft kiss on the side of his head.

"Just like his dad," Derek replied with a smile.

Stiles kissed him back.

146 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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some folks say it's hypocritical for rwders to criticize blake and yang for giving sensitive/confidential military information to robyn during v7, because the same rwders don't criticize oscar for handing over sensitive information to hazel during v8. what are your thoughts on this?

i personally think it's kinda dumb to assume these two situations are at the same level. oscar was being tortured and gave up information to save his own life (an act of self-preservation) while blake/yang just gave robyn information for no reason (which made them lose ironwood's trust).

thoughts?

I 100% agree that the situations are night and day levels of different, but I also don’t think Oscar telling Hazel was a smart move. I was waiting for the moment when he broke from the torture, thereby making the information reveal less of a decision—how could we ever expect a child to hold out against that?—and more of an inevitability. You lose enough hope, the pain gets bad enough, you’re scared enough... you talk.

But RWBY didn’t go that route. Not quite, anyway. Yes, Oscar is still in Salem’s clutches and in need of a way out, but rather than having him break during the torture itself, they made this decision seem strategic. It’s while Hazel is gone that Oscar is lying on the floor, chatting with Ozpin and coming up with this plan to try and turn Salem’s henchmen against her. They turn this into an active choice that Oscar had time to think over and settling on. And to be clear, I have no real issue with the general idea itself. Regardless of how unlikely we think success may be, it’s damn brave for this tortured kid to essentially go, “I’m going to try anyway.”

Problem is, Oscar’s version of trying is to give Salem everything she wants. That was the plan. Rather than trying to come up with a safer way to turn Hazel, or even just straight up lying to him in the hopes of securing a chance to escape (like, say, when you’re being led to the room where the Relic is located), Oscar just goes, “Here’s how you use the lamp, the exact information you’ve been torturing me for and the one thing Salem currently wants but doesn’t have.”

That is monumentally stupid. I mean, I get (generally speaking) what RWBY is going for by having Oscar be a #pureboy who tells no lies and is rewarded for putting his faith in another… but RWBY didn’t create a scenario in which Oscar was taking a calculated risk. He was just making a very, very dumb move. Hazel has never shown any hesitance about supporting Salem like Emerald has (and, notably, the characters don’t even know about that. Only we the audience see it). Hazel is driven by a terror of Salem similar to Lionheart’s and Raven’s, something that is incredibly difficult to overcome without incentive—which Oscar doesn’t offer him. Hazel currently has the man he hates most in the world bound up before him and the woman he’s terrified of somewhere down the hall. If RWBY were written with any level of consistency, Hazel would have taken the password straight to Salem, either out of fear or a desire to screw over Ozpin. Oscar’s success here isn’t born of any decent strategy, or wit, quick thinking, justified hope. He succeeded because he exists in a story where random, senseless things happen to forward the plot.

I appreciate Oscar’s determination to do something. I don’t appreciate that his "something" is to risk it all on a “plan” that wasn’t a plan at all, but rather an entirely unfounded decision to trust someone who in no way was positioned as trustworthy. “Trust is a risk,” Weiss will later say, but this wasn’t a risk. A risk implies at least some reason to believe in things concluding in your favor—an argument for what makes the risk worthwhile. This wasn’t worthwhile, in the sense that the only real goal here, escape, can be achieved by giving Hazel a random word as the password to buy himself time (YJR are coming!)/potentially provide a moment when he can get away. The truth was a horrible thing to gamble here and if Oscar had said to me, “I’m going to give the bad guys the exact thing they need to get closer to destroying the world, simply because I want to believe that they’re not really bad guys deep, deep down” I would have been SCREAMING for him to stop betting others' safety on his unfounded optimism (key word there). By all means, try to talk Hazel into stopping your torture; try to secure his help as an added bonus. Do not bet one of the world’s few defenses on it.

So I think Oscar fundamentally lost the braincell in that scene and I’ll be forever annoyed that the show treated that move as some brilliant decision that proves the group's purity of spirit, rather than the foolhardy, panicking "logic" of a child trying to get out of an unimaginable situation. Especially when this is tossed into an arc where the group keeps not trusting their established allies. It’s while he’s giving Hazel the password and telling the others to accept Emerald that Oscar is also supporting the group’s decision to not trust Ironwood, is still unsure about trusting Ozpin, and doesn’t want to tell the others about his return. Oscar doesn’t even demonstrate trust to the rest of the group by telling them all that’s been going on—talking to Ironwood, getting shot, Ozpin coming back—Ren just figures it out for him. RWBY’s ideas of when to trust and how much to risk on that trust are straight up broken at this point.

Which finally brings me back around to Yang and Blake. Regardless of how stupid I think Oscar’s choice was, he has three things going for him that they don’t: he’s still the child of the group, he’s currently being tortured, and he has a set goal in mind: to get out of this alive, as you say. In contrast, Blake and Yang are adults actively working under Ironwood. They don’t have any external pressures like kidnapping and torture to potentially warp their thinking. And they told Robyn because… having her steal resources is inconvenient? I’m not even sure what their end goal was other than, "We should trust people more, just not when it comes to these particular characters." Oscar undoubtedly risked more with the Relic password, but Yang and Blake risked enough with far less justification. As I’ve mentioned in the past, there’s a reason why so many in the fandom thought that Robyn might be a spy for Salem and that’s because everything given to us in Volume 7—everything the characters also knew—potentially pointed to that. Salem is an enemy known for infiltrating kingdoms with henchmen posing as allies (like, say, visiting students arriving for a festival), they know that Tyrian is here and he’s unlikely to have come alone, they suspect that others like Jacques are assisting them, and Robyn is a powerful figure with a thumb in Mantle’s pie and a focus on undermining Ironwood. I wonder who could possibly be helping Salem from the inside…

The fact that Robyn is innocent isn’t the point. The point is that Blake and Yang had no way of knowing she was trustworthy, had many reasons to think it was possible she wasn't, yet they handed over that information anyway. The larger point is that they decided to do that while not trusting the established ally who had actually done work to prove himself. RWBY, somehow, keeps getting it backwards. Ozpin kept a secret they agree needs to be kept under certain circumstances. Untrustworthy. Robyn is an unknown with a lot of suspicion surrounding her. Worth the risk of trust. Ironwood is a long-standing ally who has been entirely upfront with them and doing his (flawed) best to save the world. Untrustworthy. Hazel is currently torturing a teammate and has every known reason to walk away with the password. Worth the risk of trust. Whitley is the younger brother of a teammate in an abusive household who literally has nothing and no one to turn to. Untrustworthy. Emerald helped destroy their school, kill their friends, and was actively still trying to help Cinder murder Penny (again) an hour ago. Worth the risk of trust. At this point, things have been flipped so often that both situations come across badly due to past writing: "Why are you trusting/not trusting this person when you didn't trust/did trust this other?"

Oscar telling Hazel vs. Blake and Yang telling Robyn are both absurd moves in my opinion because RWBY’s idea of trust is less an ethical stance than a plot device. But if we were to pit the two against one another then yeah, Oscar absolutely has more of a justification despite the greater weight of the secret he shared. I’d challenge anyone at 14 to come up with a good way to escape capture by an evil magic grimm queen. But Yang and Blake are free, employed, capable adults who were literally on a mission before suddenly going, “Hey, the guy we still don’t trust? What if we betrayed him to instead trust this random woman we know nothing about? All to accomplish… having her as an ally? Even though we’ve never thought about or discussed what looping Robyn in would bring to the table and how that supposedly outweighs the risk of telling her? Yeah, you up for that? Sounds great."

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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musicallisto · 3 years

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Hi, congrats on 800 followers! Can I please get a Six of Crows ship? I’m have short brown hair (I dyed red last week) and green eyes. I don't mind if im shipped with a girl or a boy. I like reading (no romantic novels), music and photography. I'm Aquarius. I’m very curious. I'm a little shy and even cold at first. I’m not good with feelings, I mostly keep them to myself if I can, but I care deeply for my loved ones and would do anything to help them, even if I'm not very good at giving advice. ☆

hi! here’s your vanilla milkshake, I hope you like it! I ship you with jesper fahey!

You don’t imagine the extent of my joy to be able to add a gif of an actual real person for Jesper... however shall I survive until Aprid 23rd?

For the longest time, you thought the world started and ended at your corner of Fjerda, in your frozen estate by the True Sea.

You were descented from minor Fjerdan nobility, and your father, jaded by Court Life and its political intrigues - and, unofficially, penniless after giving his all for the sempiternal wars on Ravka -, had decided to leave the capital and retire to his family’s estate by the sea a few years after you were born.

All you had ever known were the large, marbled corridors you’d spend entire afternoons wandering, daydreaming about adventures in the confines of the country - or living the lavish life of a true Fjerdan princess, in an outrageously enormous bed of satin sheets...

The house was spacious and beautiful, with a marvelous view over the sea, gently carrying its boats to and fro before you - and you’d stay there on the balcony in your flowy white dress, admiring the ocean until you couldn’t fight the chills of the night creeping up your spine anymore; but as tranquil and languid as your existence was, it was also terribly lonely.

All you longed for was a sibling, a friend, a partner in crime, someone you could explore the world and go on quests with...

... until a lighting bolt tore the silence, one night.

You couldn’t sleep, so you had gone on a walk by the shore as you often did - your father was never worried about it, since you knew the rocks and their cracks like the back of your hand, and would know the way back home even with your eyes closed.

But you were so absorbed by the distant twinkling of stars that you didn’t notice the shadows creeping up behind you until it was too late.

Screams in a language you can’t understand; an arm around your neck in a chokehold, another slipping under your knees; you thrash around, slice all you can, bite and claw at all you can grasp...

Your abductors know better than to let Fjerdan nobility get away from their grasp. They don’t know exactly who you are - but they’ve guessed from the distinguished aspect of your house that there’s a fine sum to gain from whoever will be willing to pay for you - your father for a ransom, or anyone else, in Kerch, who’ll make good use of your services.

Those brothels in Ketterdam pay good money for young girls, they hear - even more so for a Fjerdan pearl.

When they throw you on an overloaded carriage like a potato sack, you’re still yelling at the top of your lungs, pleading for your father, for one of your maids, for anyone to help you.

But no one hears.

You shed all the tears you have in the first night, tossed around in a dark chariot, off to somewhere unknown. Your father hasn’t prepared you for this - nothing, not even your books nor your fantastical imaginary adventures...

But you don’t intend on being sold off that easily. So you devise a plan to get away.

The first opportunity to break free presents itself when your kidnappers force you to board a ship; but they manage to catch you before you’ve run very far.

But second time’s the charm; with nothing better to do during the voyage than to bide your time and gnaw at your bonds, you’re able to slip from your captor’s watch, and blindly run through the harbor - just to get as far as possible from the stench of this floating carcass.

The first thing that strikes you is the odor. You’ve known the sea forever - it’s clear and bright as ice, and smells of fresh mornings and cold salt; never of this green rot that festers everywhere in these streets... and all those chimneys, all those people, who stare you down as you run down these grimy streets, barefoot in your off-white dress...

You understand that you’re farther from home than you’ve ever been, and it’s not a thrilling adventure, it’s terrifying and overwhelming, and you want nothing more than to burst into tears.

But you don’t, because a pair of strangers flag you down in a language you don’t understand.

A tall and lanky dark-skinned boy, wearing vibrant fabric and a self-assured grin; and possibly the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen in your life, all bright eyes and genuine frown.

Paralyzed, you open your mouth, once, twice, incapable of making the slightest sound; until the girl notices your visible discomfort, and, eyeing your pale eyes, asks in the slightest of Ravkan accents;

“Are you Fjerdan?”

You nod with all your soul. You’re ready to cling onto them both for dear life.

“What happened to you?”

Your voice fails you - you can’t explain it - you haven’t even comprehended it all. You were curled up in front of the fireplace just the night before...

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

You shake your head with despair, trying to blink back the tears.

“Come with us. We know someone who’ll help you.”

You don’t mull it over very long. Maybe it’s your sheltered uprbinging that has made you naive; maybe it’s the curiously comforting warmth you see in the Ravkan girl’s eyes; but you simply have no better option, and you can’t understand a word of Kerch, or wherever it is that this barbarian folk speak.

Although your two saviors start arguing, probably about whether or not they can reasonably take you in, your tear-stained cheeks and desperate vulnerability are enough to convince them - so you follow them.

Into the lair of the Dregs, of whom you’ve never heard - and of Kaz Brekker, who you know very well.

After all, he’s the infamous gangster who invaded your homeland, broke into the Ice Court, and stole the Shu boy - or so you saw your father read in the papers. To know that you are under the same roof as that lowlife would be enough to give your father a heart attack...

You’re half convinced that he’ll throw you back to the streets, but Nina and, surprisingly, Jesper as well, plead in your favor with a greatly convincing fervor. You learn that it’s probably because Kaz has much greater worries on his mind - the criminal group is planning on retrieving one of their own from the clutches of a treacherous business partner, or so you’ve gathered.

Either way, you’re more than happy that the terrifying and redoubtable Kaz Brekker is leaving you alone, and that you can enjoy Jesper’s company.

You two become unexpectedly good friends overtime. He comes to visit you at the Crow Club, where you’re staying, almost every day. Yet communication is not your strong suit, especially in a language you don’t understand at all, and you don’t fancy yourself a particularly enthralling girl to be around.

Not when one has lived the life of a criminal, a sharpshooter, a wanderer, a playboy... well, all those things that Jesper prises himself on being, and all those words he’s taught you in Kerch.

(That and the curse words, of course, that you’re a bit intimidated to use at first, until they slip out of your mouth one evening when you drop your plate at dinner with the Dregs, and the entire canteen falls dead silent.)

“Did she just say ‘fuck’?”

“I think she just said fuck.”

“See, Matthias, she wasn’t immediately struck by lighting by Djel’s hand. You won’t die if you say it.”

Speaking of Matthias, he’s also a good friend of yours - it’s comforting and refreshing to have a familiar face around, one of Fjerdan roots and mores.

Although the rest of the group says you’re not that Fjerdan.

“You’re one of the feisty ones, at least.”

“I’m not ‘feisty’. Shut up, Jesper.”

“Ah, I see you’ve been working on the vocabulary I taught you!”

Matthias and you both have a lot of soul-searching and unlearning to do about the outside world - you were raised in particularly bigoted environments, you somewhat less than him. The hatred for the Grisha he’s been taught by the Drüskelle is fear in your case; you’ve been brought up on bedtime stories of bloodthirsty Grisha who devour unruly kids, and war and devastation caused by their unstability and blasphemous magic.

It’s even more of a shock to you when you learn Jesper is a Grisha.

Unbeknownst to you, you’ve started to fall a little for him - how could you not? He’s funny, charming, sarcastic and witty; always has the best stories to tell, and despite it all, sincerely cares for you amidst the chaos of their heist and revenge plans.

But to learn he was the kind of monster - no, the kind of creature - no, the kind of person, you force yourself to correct mentally - that you had been taught to fear for your entire life...

“I’m so sorry. You should never have been there.”

He’s pacing back and forth in your room after a shootout has gone awry and you were caught in the crossifre; it’s the first time he’s ever had to use his Durast powers to get you of the mess - and normally he wouldn’t have, because it’s a secret he wishes he could carry to the grave, but the fear of losing you was too strong...

“Thank god that I was there, though. What would you do without me?”

He’s fidgety and restless, nervously playing with his pistols, and his nervous laugh is all but genuine; and you’re huddled up on your bed, staring him down with wide eyes.

“Jesper, you...”

“Yeah, maybe not the best moment.”

“Jesper...”

“It’s like they have a knack for knowing exactly where we’re gonna be and when...”

“Jesper!”

He abruptly turns to look at you, and his eyes widen. He’s starting to understand, almost, but refuses to believe it. Your voice is a murmur, and you can hardly hold his gaze.

“Jesper, are you... going to hurt me?”

His words die in his throat. He remembers where you’re from... the garbage that they must have filled your ears and head with from the day you were born... how feverish Matthias was with Nina... he looks at his hands, and his Materialki magic rumbles like a dark curse.

“Y/N, you’re scared of me?”

The sheer hurt in his voice breaks your heart. Even though you’re trembling, you let him step closer to you, slowly. It’s Jesper in front of you, not some ungodly monster from legends... Jesper, your Jesper...

“I’m... I’m sorry...”

He cups your face in his hands, warm and just a bit moist, and stares into your eyes with a vulnerability you have never seen in him.

“I’d never do anything to hurt you, Y/N, I swear on my life. All I want is you to be safe...”

Safe from me, if that’s what you wish, he thinks for a split second, but you don’t give him time to doubt; you’ve captured his lips in a frenzied kiss, and hold on for dear life onto his lean shoulders.

Fjerda and its blind hatred is very far from you, now. You're locked in Jesper's embrace, and you won't have to hear their lies anymore.

You know you have nothing to fear from him; not now, and not ever.

800 follower sleepover CLOSED!

#sarcasticandfangirl #800sleepover #THIS GOT SO LONG OMG i need to write for six of crows already the inspiration is unquenchable #six of crows #soc #grishaverse #ship request #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey headcanons #six of crows headcanons

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bobbystompy · 4 years

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68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019

Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.

John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’

New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould

2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”

3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz

4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert

5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez

6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”

7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release

8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’

9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”

10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey

11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex

12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party

13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!

A Super Bowl winning exchange.

14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".

Belichick disagreed with it.

Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.

Another Super Bowl winning exchange.

15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur

16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad

17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)

18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”

19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell

20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]

Me: Check out this song I just wrote

[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]

Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass

-- @seanoneal

21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World

22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman

23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’

There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins

24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita

25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale

26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy

27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert

28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’

Yes tf I am

People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”

29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp

30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary

31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom

32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were:

‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”

- @Authoroux

33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully

34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones

35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers

36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]

Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.

-- Modern Family

37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil

38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”

39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham

40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher

41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.

-- Blink-155

42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”

43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’

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45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos

46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”

47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”

48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’

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49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)

50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham

51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign

52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes

53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019

54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”

55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson

56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi

57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else

58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary

59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family

60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace

61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country

62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso

63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end

64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.

65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical

66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]

"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking

67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman

68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks

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