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#etc etc etc so on and so forth the usual insane banter those two have
sunderwight · 5 months
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had a thought of what if Airplane had leaned a little more into the self-insert idea for Luo Binghe when he was still at the early stages of writing, with an end result that Luo Binghe actually Looks Like That because he basically looks like Airplane but with long flowing hair and a more idealized figure
SQQ going "why the fuck did you make his face so pretty???" and Airplane bullshitting about plausibility while trying really hard not to blush. twisting his fingers and scuffing his toe like jeez bro he's not that good-looking...
which of course sets SQQ off because how DARE!?! not 'that' good-looking?!?! just look at him! he's xianxia Helen of Troy with a face that launched a thousand harems! like okay sure with looks like that it does make sense that half the female population was willing to timeshare a marriage with him, but it's also totally unfair to SQQ, who has no recourse against those looks either! and who could? that is the most beautiful face ever!
Airplane's getting flustered. tries valiantly to make the case that objectively speaking Luo Binghe isn't that good-looking, it's just that SQQ is biased, but boy does that not go over well. SQQ has hitched the tattered remnants of his self-perception as a straight man onto the idea that Luo Binghe is just so devastatingly attractive anyone would want to hop into bed with him, and he is not letting go of it, so Airplane is just gonna get wrecked with inadvertent compliments
bonus if the Shang Qinghua look is actually the result of several illusions because when Airplane first transmigrated in, he got the same face too, and foresaw potential problems if the half-demon protagonist turned up looking like him. so he used illusions. he doesn't actually look all that different, in fact! the illusions just make it so that when people see him, they get a strong impression that he's unremarkable, so they don't really register what his face actually looks like and their brains fill in the assumption that he must just be kinda plain
oooh ooh double bonus if the system inserted a behind-the-scenes explanation for it too, which is that Shang Qinghua is actually unwittingly related to Su Xiyan!
and the whole thing comes to light post-epilogue when Shang Qinghua's illusions get stripped away by some monster-of-the-week, while everyone except Mobei Jun has a freak out about why do you look just like Luo Binghe?! (Mobei Jun isn't freaking out because he already figured out how to see past the illusions and just assumed everyone else wasn't mentioning it for some human cultural reason or something) and then Yue Qingyuan calmly explains that Luo Binghe's mom is Shang Qinghua's matrilineal cousin. Shang Qinghua's mother and Luo Binghe's human grandmother were half-sisters.
what? how does Yue Qingyuan know? you think that Cang Qiong doesn't check up on the candidates for the peak lord positions before handing off power, doesn't make sure there are no conflicts of interest or divided loyalties to other sects? what sorts of things do people imagine Qiong Ding's diplomats do? (I don't know either but, for the purpose of this scenario at least some of it is tracking down this stuff -- YQY handled most of it personally for his generation's ascension because he didn't want anyone else digging into his and Xiao Jiu's pasts) anyways, the connection could have been troublesome for its ties to Huan Hua Palace, but by the time it came to light Su Xiyan was deceased and there was no evidence that Shang Qinghua had ever even met her. so it wasn't deemed significant enough to matter, was just made note of and then mostly forgotten
so Shang Qinghua is like "oh THAT is why you kept bringing her up to me back then?!" because at the time he'd just been fully in "haha how would I know anything about the impending plot and the tragedies I am both partly responsible for and powerless to prevent haha that's so funny shixiong I KNOW NOTHING" mode, which luckily at the time was easily read as him just not wanting a dead cousin he never met to tank his chances of securing a promotion
SQQ is floored. he is having issues about this. Shang Qinghua is related to Binghe? Shang Qinghua looks exactly like him?! wait. Binghe has human family? still alive? like grandparents and stuff out there, who might want to meet him...?
Luo Binghe decides to step in at that point because he does not want to meet any more relatives! no more surprise relatives! no!
luckily this distracts Shen Qingqiu from thinking about all of the things he's said to Airplane about Binghe's looks for long enough for Shang Qinghua to flee the scene
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metalchick19-blog · 5 years
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The Bowers Gang: Ship #8 - Belch Huggins
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Request: I’m really tiny like REALLY. I’m 5’ feet (or 154cm I don’t know if the inches are correct). I’m redhead but not a true one because I dye them. I wear a lot of bands shirts or horror movies ones, and a lot of high waist skirts or dresses with belt and chains and a black hat all the time. My shoes are platforms from the new rock brand and sometimes I wear Santiag but it’s really rare. I always have a leather chocker around my neck with spikes on it. Peoples call me dog because of that but I don’t care because I feel good with it. I wear A TON of makeup (only because I love makeup so fucking much), and that’s usually black lipstick with red eyeshadow and eyeliner that’s all. I also have tattoos on my right tight and on my left arm. I literally can’t live without music and my favs bands are Aerosmith, Guns N’ Roses and Slash. That’s so basic I know, but I love them and I always want to dance and sing when I listen to their song, because they makes me feel so happy. I also love witchcraft and paranormal. I do believe so much in magic and ghosts and I love to walk around old abandonned places and talk about ghosts, aliens, demons ect, because for me it’s so fascinating and interesting. I’ve already played Ouija and it worked and I freaked out but loved it. Peoples think I’m a witch actually but I’m ok with that. I love watching horror movies so much, but I hate blood and gore, wich is pretty contradictory I know. I’m also scared easy even if I love all theses witchy/paranormal stuffs. Last thing is : I’m getting angry REALLY (too much) fast, and that’s a big problem because I have so many issues because of this. I do cry so much too because anger makes me cry and shake but I do love cuddles so much (not all the time but that feel good sometime to have someone who can give you hugs, that warm your heart). I do a lot of sex jokes too and my friends hates me for that but hey, it’s funny.
All the guys were attracted to you at some point, because they’re each turned on by different aspects of your style (Henry by your makeup, Patrick by your red hair, and Victor by your skirts/dresses)
But Belch (who knew he had to have you the second he saw just one of your epic band t-shirts) wound up coming out on top, because he’s the only member of The Bowers Gang with a proper respect for the greats
The greats being Axl Rose, Saul Hudson, and Steven Tyler 
All the other guys might pretend to be metal-heads (because bad boy aesthetic), but Belch is the only one who legitimately deserves the title
Seriously - he’s never more confident than he is when he’s talking about his music obsessions (i.e. rock, metal, and the development of those genres), and you’re one of the very few people in the world who ever gets to see him like that
Belch dominates the floor talking-wise, and his entire body language changes; for just a few minutes, he seems to lose all pretense of being meek or uncertain 
Aka: You get to meet confident Belch who knows what he’s talking about, and that’s a friggin’ miracle 
You guys have insanely long, thorough debates as to which current bands should be considered “real” rock bands 
These talks can last for hours at a time (because you’re both just passionate like that), and tend to take place around Belch’s kitchen bar 
The two of you just sit on your stools (next to each other, like the adorable humans you are) and crack open beer after beer, completely losing track of time listening to each other’s rants 
Usually neither of you notice how long you’ve been talking until the sun starts to set through the kitchen window - you’re just that into what one another is saying 
Belch shows you his vinyl collection (over 500 records, all alphabetized) 
This is great because 1.) that collection is Huggins’ pride and joy, which means you’re definitely his person if he wanted you to see it, and 2.) because everything sounds better on vinyl, and you never knew it until he showed you 
You come over to Belch’s place almost every day after initially finding this out, because you need that ear-sex feeling of the music pulsing all around you (*Steven Tyler’s voice pulsing all around you* - definitely a mood)
... And Belch honestly loves it, because watching you dance around his bedroom is literally the highlight of his life 
It was hard to get him to dance along with you the first few times you asked (he would just do a few awkward, timid movements before laughing and sitting down) but he now does it with you almost all the time
And when Huggins dances... he dances hard
We’re talking the robot, the sprinkler, everything 
... Which you’ve explained to him are not moves that should be done when listening to death-metal, but he just keeps saying he “knows you love it,” and persists in doing those moves
... You do kind of love it, though 
What can I say? You’ve led the man to his free spirit (and the world thanks you for doing so)
Belch also takes you to some well-known sites around town that are famous for tragedy (The Black Spot, the Ironworks Factory, etc.) so you can do paranormal investigations there
He actually almost took you to the Neibolt house once on Patrick’s suggestion, but decided to back out at the last minute because it was a Hockstetter idea
... Yeah, even Belch knows better than to trust Patrick with his physical well-being
Typically all the guys tag along for these paranormal activity trips though, because even though Belch wants to look tough for his girl, he doesn’t like the idea of scrapping with ghosties by himself 
... It’s truly a hilarious sight to see
Ghost-hunting missions typically entail you and Patrick being at the front of the pack (you trying to “make contact” as Patrick actively fucks with your process) while the rest of the guys trail lazily behind you 
Henry complains at least once every 3 minutes (”my fuckin’ legs hurt”/”why are we still out here” x10), Victor looks quietly at the scenery, and Belch just tries to look brave (but can’t hide how hard he’s listening to whether or not anything responds to your prompts - he’s silently praying nothing does)
Sometimes things do come through though, and it changes the atmosphere for everybody
... that is, everybody except for Patrick (who would refuse to believe in the occult even if he was levitated by Casper)
All arguing/off-handed banter comes to a stop, and the guys act way more on edge for the rest of the night
Typically involves a lot of mildly nervous looks around on Victor’s part, and flinching in response to loud noises on Henry’s - Belch is a combination of both
After close encounters like these, you all tend to walk back to the car in a much tighter group than before
Henry and Victor press in on the sides, and no one says a word
... Except for Patrick, who makes joke after joke about how big of pussies you all are, and challenges all demons in the near vicinity to fight him 
He’s never been fought, but it sends you all into a frenzy of “shut up!” every time
All the guys love that they don’t have to change their regular movie aesthetic for you
Literally everything they ever watch is some type of horror, so you’ve never been more well-suited to a group of people  
They don’t sit down and really watch things together very often, but they usually have a horror movie and/or violent TV show on to serve as background noise for their conversations (”Tales from the Crypt,” ”Friday the 13th” re-runs, etc.)
Regardless of whether or not you’re with the guys though, Belch always covers your eyes when he knows the next scene of the movie that you’re watching is about to be especially gory
...Seriously.
The dude physically covers your eyes.
He even flung himself across a room once (in front of the gang and everything) just to child-proof your vision before you could see the fish hook scene in “Hellraiser”
Mostly because he knows you don’t like gore, and he tends to remember when it’s about to happen at the very last second - it’s all our teddy bear can think to do to save your innocence
Now, bro - it’s totally fine that you have a temper
I can’t imagine where that would be less of a problem 
Even though Belch tries hard to keep you feeling calm and collected (because he just cares about your inner peace), he’s low-key enthralled by the way you look when you’re angry
... And all the other guys just find it entertaining as hell, because they’ve never met a 5-foot powerhouse such as yourself
You get into arguments often, though.
...Often. 
So often, in fact, that the guys eventually stopped letting you finish.
They tend to let you go back and forth with people you’re arguing with for a while, but if it becomes obvious that you’re not really going to fight the person, they eventually decide to move on with their day...
... at which point either Henry or Patrick will pull you away by your choker.
... Yes, by your choker. Like you’re a little dog. 
Patrick did it first (”Come on, killer! We’ll find you some other crotch to bite later.” *Annoyingly satisfied Hockstetter cackle*), and Henry just followed suit afterwards.
It’s a thing now; you’ll have to accept that. 
Belch gives you the best cuddles that have ever been cuddled 
Seriously - because of your size, you can curl up on his gargantuan male body like a cat 
Pick any cuddle position - you guys can cuddle it better than hibernating bear cubs 
And you’re high-key cuter to watch, too, because your love for one another just rolls off of you both in waves 
Just so wholesome, and so very adorable
Overall, you fit into the group well, and cultivate a refreshingly genuine connection with Belch
He gets to be who he really is with you, and that means more to him than anything 
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yeskhanzadame11 · 4 years
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NFL Fan or Bandwagoner
Growing up in New England as a football fan had its ups and downs. Mostly downs through the years until a glimmer of hope came in the 90's when the Patriots signed Drew Bledsoe making him a one hundred-million-dollar man. He brought us to a super bowl, but unfortunately it didn't end well. In 2000, The Patriots had a 6th. sense so to speak, to draft a quarterback in the 6th. round using their 199th. pick in a player from Michigan named Tom Brady. He became their 4th. string in the depth chart and for some reason the new coach, Bill Belichick, had the sense to hang on to him to eventually, at the right time, become the number 2 Quarterback in 2001. When Drew Bledsoe fell to injury, that unknown Michigan Wolverine stepped up. It was an up and down first few games for Tom Brady, but in the end, helped lead the team from being a 14-point underdog against the Rams, (who were known as the Greatest show on turf at the time with a Hall of Fame Quarterback named Kurt Warner through the 1999, 2000 and 2001 seasons winning the big game in 1999 and expected to win in 2001), to coming from behind to pull off a miracle victory in Super bowl XXXVI. Was it a fluke? As it turned out... hardly. With Bill Belichick as the head coach, now choosing to stick with Tom Brady over Drew Bledsoe, having 6 more Super Bowl appearances that would garner the Patriots 4 more Lombardi trophies for a total of 5 for New England with all of them at the hands of what's being called the greatest coach/QB tandem in NFL the history.
With all the teams in the NFL, no team can get away with being on top for very long stretches of seasons without fans from other teams coming up with excuses as to why that team is better than others. Like Green bay, Pittsburg, San Francisco, Dallas and now New England. All these teams found ways to be good and stay good for several years while many others had no success and some, one and done. The real fan talks about what their team did wrong and what should be done to fix it. Bandwagoners can only find excuses as to what the other team did illegally to get an advantage, or that the referees were somehow involved in the outcome of the game and who should win. Yes, I am from New England and I'm sure there is some bias here, but as a real NFL fan through the good and bad times steelers hat , I can give credit where it's due regardless of the team and how I feel about them. A real fan knows the facts that surrounded the "spy-gate" and "deflate-gate" scandals and can realize they were not the huge issues that sports networks and some others made it out to be. As far as cheating in concerned, the Patriots have a much smaller record than most other teams. In fact, their record of any disciplinary actions due to breaking the rules fall within the top 5 teams with the least number of incidents involving questionable practices. In general, all sports teams and individuals over time, since the inception of sports in our daily lives have done things to gain the edge over their opponents. In many ways by legal means, while other ways... not so much. Like the time Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin attempted to trip Baltimore Ravens Jacoby Jones while returning a kickoff. He made it 73 yards from the end zone when it could have possibly gone all the way for a touchdown if not for the interference. I talk to many in the sports world and I can spot the bandwagoners very easily compared with the real fans. Especially now that I live in the Seattle area. Most fans here seem to be mostly bandwagoners now, which is a far cry from when I first came to Seattle in 1992 when the Seahawks went 2-14 on the season and the Monday night game I went to see against the Denver Broncos had the stadium packed and the fans celebrating as if they just won the Super bowl rather than it being that they just won only their 2nd. And final game of that season. What happened to those fans? Many of the fans these days give me such a hard time about the accusations against the Patriots, finding excuses as to why the Patriots beat them in SB XLIX and never giving any credit for their accomplishments. It was all about the "bad" call made by coach Pete Carroll and not the great play in the end zone by an unknown cornerback named Malcolm Butler. Or that the Patriots are cheaters and that's why they won the game without giving any examples as to what they could have done that illegally gained them enough of an edge to win the game. When asked, they simply say, "They are cheaters" with no knowledge of anything to back up the claim.
Then some news hits the Seattle sports world with shock waves of grievance when it was announced that Seattle Seahawks former defensive tackle #96 Cortez Kennedy, a 2012 inductee to the NFL Hall of Fame, one of the greatest Seahawk and NFL players of all time in general, suddenly passed away. I had a hard time finding a single person who would share the grief-stricken sentiments with me until I talked to my brother, who also is from New England and now lives in Seattle. All the Seahawks fans I first talked with about it could only say... " Who?" This came as a big surprise to me. To me and to the rest of any real fan base and for pretty much any team in the NFL. Not knowing who Cortez Kennedy is would be the same as not knowing who Steve Largent is. Not only was Kennedy an 8-time pro bowler, but his entire 11 year NFL career was solely with the Seahawks. How can anyone call themselves a real diehard Seahawks fan and not know who Cortez Kennedy is? Unless you are a young fan to the NFL, there is no real excuse other than, you are a bandwagoner. Even some real young fans know who he is and what he meant to the city of Seattle. When you can have a conversation with a 10-year-old about the greatness of Cortez Kennedy, you know he grew up in a house raised by real Seahawks fans. Then have a conversation with someone in their 50's who does nothing but bash the Patriots about winning the Super bowl who doesn't have a clue who Kennedy is, and you know you are in the presence of a real bandwagoner.
Before Super bowl XLIX, I had many heated conversations with Seahawks fans about who would win. Some were great, typical back and forth banter, while others were down right vile and as offensive as they could be. It even went so far as to have "friends" take me off their friends list on social media sites for the simple reason that I am a Patriots fan. For one thing, I was born and raised in Massachusetts with my entire family as Boston/New England sports fans, so being a Patriots fan was inevitable. Even so, I don't, nor would I ever apologize for being a Patriots fan. I am very proud to be a Patriots fan and I enjoy wearing my Pat's attire wherever I go. By simply wearing my Patriots hats or shirts, I find it a great way to interact with other NFL fans and can easily spot the real from the bandwagoner. The real fans usually throw a jab, which is expected and usually turns to fun banter, but then moves on to compliment the team and their success under the leadership of Bill Belichick with Tom Brady at the helm. The bandwagoners can't pass up the opportunity to throw jabs, but these jabs don't end with laughs and fun followed by compliments. They usually move into pure hate for the team and insults towards me for being a Patriots fan. Looking at the Super bowl following the 2016 NFL season, I don't think anyone will forget that game any time soon, or rather ever, especially if you are Matt Ryan and the rest of the Atlanta Falcons. However, when the Patriots were down but seeming to begin a push to come from behind, there were Falcons on the sidelines commenting that "it is Tom Brady" showing the respect they have for him for all his accomplishments. I don't care who you are, the success the Patriots have had over the last 16 years, post salary cap to boot, could not possibly continue if it was some fluke or even if they did cheat at any time throughout. Think about it. Since 2001, the Patriots have been to 7 out of 16 Super bowls. It almost comes out to them going every other year. That is insane. The two losses were hard, even being to the same team. Every team has their Lex Luther team and the Giants are the Lex to the Patriots. That doesn't take anything away from the Giants success and two Super bowl victories over that Patriots by any means. They continued on after the two losses, to gain two more victories with a good chance, on paper so far, to go back and snag another after the 2017 season. In fact, they are favored to repeat based on off season acquisitions and new contract negotiations. Whether they repeat or not, it's hard to argue about the New England Dynasty and where they will land in sports history. This is all accomplished post salary cap era as well, where it was supposed to be designed to not have stacked teams like the Steelers and 49ers did during their reign of success.
It's obvious I am using the Seahawks and Patriots to make my point about real vs. bandwagon fans, but this goes on in every sports areas, however, it's more prominent in some areas compared to others. I was definitely one of the lucky ones to grow up in such a strong professional sports area with so many championships. Although it took the Red Sox 86 years to accomplish another World series title in 2004, they brought two more to Boston after that in 2007 and 2013. And with the early Bruins and Celtics, how could anyone complain? Well, real fans, that's how. Real fans will always complain, bandwagoners will just rant and rave, moan and groan while finding excuses for their team's downfalls by blaming other organizations. Real fans start looking at the rosters, coaches, management etc. and begin to look at their own teams to see what is wrong and what can be done to fix it. Being from Chicago, LA, SF, Dallas, Pittsburgh and a few other multi championship towns are fortunate areas to be from as a sports fan. Especially the recent Cubs of Chicago who finally won a world series after waiting 108 years. If Boston thought they had a long wait, talk to a Cubs fan.
Fans from the sports towns like the 49ers of San Francisco, Steelers of Pittsburgh and Cowboys of Dallas in most cases, know what Patriot fans are going through. There are definitely exceptions, but in general, they know. The Steelers of the 70's with Bradshaw, Swan, Harris etc. as well as the incredible "Steel Curtain" with the likes of Mean Joe Green and company are blamed for the start of steroids in the NFL. Some say an asterisk should be next to their titles just as they do with the Patriots. Are there any merits to those claims? Personally, I don't feel that at all steelers hat . Not because I am a Patriots fan, but because I am an NFL fan. There was no team that could have possibly gone through the Steel Curtain on a consistent basis during that period and there is a record number of players from that same time period that have gone on to be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton Ohio. Can there be arguments made that some may not have been as good if not for steroid use? Sure, but the bottom line is if these players had no talent, there are not enough steroids around to give someone talent. Either you have talent or you don't. Sure it can enhance some talents in the area of endurance and strength, but if you can't throw, catch, run with a ball or watch a ball while watching the player you are designated to cover at the same time, it doesn't matter how strong you are or how fast you can run.
So, the main point here is simple. Are you a real NFL fan or are you just a bandwagoner? There is nothing wrong with being a bandwagoner in some ways. There are definitely those who can only get into their team and get excited when they are winning. Many will even admit this with no shame and it's nothing really to be ashamed about if you're willing to admit and accept it, but most won't and like to pretend to be fans while frustrating everyone around them with know it all ignorance. Personally, as a lifelong fan of Boston area sports, no real fan is a bandwagoner. If you want to support the team when they are doing good, you should have been there when they needed you the most. Sure, it's frustrating, but as a real fan, it's part of the excitement to get involved as if you actually have some influence that can help your team win. Obviously being a Boston fan, we have the privilege to be part of the greatest rivalry in sports history. The classic Red Sox / Yankees rivalry. Here it gets a bit complicated. This rivalry can get downright dirty. The language shared between these two fan bases geared towards getting the lowest you can possibly go in order to shred the opposing fans better than they can shred you. However, unlike the newly developed rivalry with the Seahawks / Patriots, in the end, New York and Boston fans know when to show respect and when to carry on. With this rivalry, it's fun, and in a strange way, respectful even at its worst. When "friends" un-friend me on social media just because I am a Red Sox fan, that borders on pathetic, but in reality, it's sad. This is a game, not some life or death situation that affects our lives.
When I meet a Yankee fan, in most cases, it's a fun exchange and I have become friends with some people because of it. When a player with the stature of those like Jeter and Ortiz, both teams honor those as if they were part of their own respective organizations. That my friends, is what real true sports fans are and should be in every city in every situation.
Now it's time to search inside yourself and ask these simple questions. Do you dislike a particular player from a rival team that is an obvious star, and treat it like that player is not that good, or do you dislike them because they are that good and don't play for your team? The obvious one is the Tom Brady debates. For any fan from any team to claim Brady isn't that good after looking at his stats and records, then you may be a bandwagoner. Sounds like something from Jeff Foxworthy but it fits. There are some who claim Peyton Manning wasn't that good. But 10-1 those are fans from teams that rival the Bronco's and/or the Colts. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is this. If you think you're a real fan as opposed to a bandwagoner, start to do some personal research on matters that you feel are things that upset you. Things such as the biggest issue these days. The controversy surrounding the Patriots. Read from as many sources as possible including the facts involving "spy-gate" and "deflate-gate". What you'll find is technicalities in spy-gate that show the Patriots didn't even break an official rule and they did what every other team has done, just at a different time, and that rule they supposedly broke to start the whole cheaters controversy wasn't even in the rule books as an official rule until the following year. As for deflate-gate, if you were to read the Wells report, you'll find no real evidence that any rules were broken and that the phone incident with Brady and throwing it away should never have come into the conversation in the first place since Brady had been informed that his phone wasn't needed by Wells himself before he destroyed it and the fact that he destroyed it is nothing more than what he does with every old phone. Like many celebrities, phones can contain delicate, private info they don't want others to gain access to and sell to some news or entertainment magazine so their private lives can be splashed all over the place. It makes sense and it wasn't something he just decided to start doing. It's something he's always done in the past and had no reason to change once he was told that his phone wasn't needed anymore for the investigation. After his phone was gone, it was then plastered all over as if it was done in an attempt to hide something.
This just shows what information can be gained by being a real fan and educating yourself while also realizing that this is only a game that is intended to be fun to watch and follow. If it consumes you with hatred towards someone or some teams as a whole steelers hat, then you should think about leaving the band, jumping off the wagon all together and just take a train instead to the loony bin for help.
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