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#erika sent me this
pers3phone399 · 5 months
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just had a breakdown over some fucking stoats how are we all feeling tonight???
aabria i'm in your fucking walls girl this shit was dope as fuck
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Harold, they’re lesbians. (C3E25)
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atlafan · 1 year
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never thought this would be the way I’d hear him say my name over and over, but a win is a win
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petitexmagician · 2 years
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Okay I’m not even kidding, I really wanted to bring up that response for a while now. 
Like looking back the reply is still stupid, but when you’ve read the VN and seen the manga visuals, Battler had gotten something right regarding the truth of the island but it wasn’t even remotely close to the question presented that it’s not wrong to laugh looking back but that’s from both how funny the moment it is and impacting the pain from the truth is.
I can’t help but wonder what was Sayo’s thoughts when she heard that, the underlining thought process because Battler at that moment doesn’t even have his complete memories. The guy she waited for, who she wanted to live, this part of him isn’t complete.
So the moment he said that I wanna believe she clung to that hope he remembered those last moments of carrying her on his back and running away from the mess, that he remembers the time they had before the island was gone, that she laid out everything she had bottled up - even for a brief moment. I feel like that’s why she’s half awake in Episode 5, not just because she quit but she still had hope he remembers, that why her piece that Lambda made said “I won’t believe your promises again” Sayo/Beato probably used that piece to speak to Battler when the 5th game seemed to be in Erika and Bern’s win- which is a lot of holes itself.
Honestly my blue to the whole crazy idea around Natsuhi and the old fart would’ve been: he’s under the bed. Which itself is a little crazy because the old man is a damn corpse how did the scent not catch Natsuhi’s nose, do rich people not clean under their bed?
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dilfl0v3rss · 10 months
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this just came to me because I was arguing with my man but..
what about reader who has a problem with calling people all types of bitches; finally meets her match and he show her who the bitch really is !
(this my first ask btw🌸)
hey boooo!! so glad you sent a requesttttt. since you didn’t say who you wanted me to write for i felt like it was the perfect time to pull this out. i now bring forth………the baldiessss!!!
calling them a b*tch
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𝑜𝑛𝑦
the two of you were going back and forth. it seemed like every time you got excited to be somewhere or do something, here come ony hating ass telling you you’re not allowed.
“i really don’t care ma. if i say you not going then you not going, so take allat shit off, put on your pjs and go study. got an exam on monday and you tryna party.”
you rolled your eyes while sucking your teeth. he wasn’t even your boyfriend and he damn sure wasn’t your daddy so you seen no need to be listening to this man. continuing your journey to the door as ony watched you with a keen eye. “you not even my nigga. you just a nigga i like to fuck, so you can take your bitch ass on somewhere tryna be somebody daddy” with that you turned around to grab your shoes that were at the door, only getting to put one foot in before you were snatched up and put against the wall. “we gon see about that”
it only took ony about ten minutes to have you screaming and crying in the middle of your bed. legs held high in the air as you grabbed tightly on the arm connected to the hand around your neck.
“o-ohh my goddd why a-are you fucking me like thisss” your whines went in one ear and out of the other while ony kept his brutal pace on your bruised pussy. “you know damn well why i got you like this. you may get away wit that shit when talking to your little friends, but over here we don’t use that bitch word y’hear me?” he took advantage of your parted lips, giving you a sloppy kiss before letting his warm saliva trickle down your tongue. you eagerly swallowed him, the action bringing the both of you closer to the edge.
“i hear you daddy….i hear you”
𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑒
“and oneeeeee!! y’all not fuckin wit me mann!” connie yelled as he won another game of 2k. y’all were at ony’s house chilling. well no….CONNIE was at ony’s house chilling. you were there against your will, tired, and in dire need of some entertainment since your man and his “brothers” left you out completely. “i’m ready to go con” you mumbled for what felt like the a hundredth time tonight, but of course connie gave you the same old excuse.
“ten more minutes”
he didn’t even look away from the screen as he spoke. you rolled your eyes before getting up and walking to the dining room where you sat down and called your group chat. “what it do bitchesss!” your friend eboni yelled as she watched the rest of your friends begin to pop up in the call. “heyy” you said with as much energy as you could, but they could all tell you were as dry as ever. “what he do now?” your other friend erika said as she looked at the tired look on your face. you sighed, dropping your shoulders as you turned the camera around towards the back of the guys heads and back towards your face. “been on that game wit them for like two hours while i’m just sitting here”
mumbles of irritation could be heard throughout the call as your friends grew almost as upset as you. “you told him you wanna leave?” eboni asked. you gave her a “duhh” look before replying. you didn’t notice that connie finished his game, getting up as he let ony and eren play while he went to the kitchen for a snack. he was within arm’s reach of you before you started talking your shit. “like why the fuck would you bring me here if you was gon be up in your friend’s faces the whole time? if i did that to him he would be whining to me like a little bitch saying he wanna go home.”
his eyes widened in surprise as your words. anger quickly running through his veins as he snatched your phone from your hands and hung up on your friends. “bring your ass up stairs, now” you rolled your eyes at him, earning you a hard slap in your ass before he lightly pushed you upstairs and towards the bathroom. “i be whining like a little bitch? you don’t get your way and now you think it’s okay to call me out my name?” you looked up at him, arms crossed as you leaned on the sink. your attitude was still very much there so connie decided to stop with the talking. turning you around and bending you over the sink. “turn the water on. if i hear your voice over it ima really embarrass you aight? don’t test me.”
he left you no time to answer before burying two of his fingers deep into your pussy, stretching you out so good you had to quickly cover your mouth to keep from screaming. “unt uh mama, this ain’t nothing. i’m a bitch right? this should be light work for you” he taunted you, inked hand yanking yours off your mouth while his eyes dared you to make a sound. your release was coming quickly and connie knew it by the way your eyes rolled in the mirror. he took this as an opportunity to move quicker into you. his gaze never leaving your face as he watched you open your mouth to scream. thankfully it was quickly muffled by by his strong hand, while you shook and came all over his inked fingers, but you weren’t finish yet. your eyes widened in surprise as you felt connie’s fat tip prodding your entrance.
“we gon see which one of us is really a bitch in here. and you bet not run”
𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛
as the girlfriend of one of the most popular ace’s in the country, there were things you had to go through that regular women didn’t. not a day went by where there wasn’t a crazy girl trying to throw themselves onto your man, regardless if you were there or not. that wasn’t really an issue to you though since it was bound to happen given his talent. the real issue was that aran’s peanut headed ass never really dealt with that behavior the way he should.
“oh my goddd arannnn!!! please please please can i get a picture wit youuuu.”
“your muscles are so much bigger in person”
“you’re so strong i wonder how your body looks under the jersey”
you were thrown to the side once again after a game, the girls basically shoving you out the way before snatching your boyfriends attention from you.
“f’course i could take a picture wit y’all. cmon everybody get in!” he said, letting the swarm of women stand around him as he flexed for the camera. you didn’t even wait to let him finish, walking right out of the gym and towards his car. it took over half an hour for this man to finally get to the car before he looked at you leaning on the passenger side door. “why you ain’t wait f’me? s’mad dark out here and you all alone.” he said, looking around at the almost empty parking lot before looking at you.
“you looked a little busy entertaining bitches fantasies and ian wanna interrupt” you spit before turning around to open your door. of course his fast ass locked it before you could even touch the handle, waiting patiently for you to turn back around before he spoke. “you mad at me for taking pictures?” his confusion made you scoff. was he playing or was he really that dumb? regardless you were over it. “knew your bitch ass wouldn’t get it. got so many different girls heads up your ass you don’t got time to think about your girlfriend” aran leaned down towards you face, putting his ear closer to your lips so he could “hear you better”
“my what?” you looked up at him, challenging him as you repeated yourself. “your bitch ass. cant hear or sum?” a small smirk made its way to his lips before he unlocked the car doors. “nah i just needed to make sure”
you didn’t even make it to the front seat before aran yanked your ass up and threw you in the back. crawling in right behind you before teaching you your lesson.
“there you go ma, keep ridin that dick” aran groaned as he watched your ass bounce repeatedly in front of him. legs burning as you gripped the center console for support. “i l-learned my lesson pa pleaseee” you whimpered as you felt his large hand land a heavy smack on your ass, the skin already hot and aching from the previous slaps. “nah…nah ion think you leaned shit. we have this conversation almost every other week. these lil girls out here don’t mean shit t’me. they can take as many pictures they want because at the end of the day who do i go home wit?”
you mindlessly kept bouncing on his dick, too fucked out to even respond properly. “y’go home wimme daddy” a smirk made its way to his face as he listened to your slurred speech. you were fucked dumb. “that’s right mama. daddy goes home wit you…daddy only ever gon go home wit you” you nodded along to his words, feeling your release on the tip of your tongue as he continued to speak. “now apologize t’me for being mean. you know how i feel about that bitch word”
aran quickly pulled your back to his sweaty chest, kissing up and down your neck as he quickly fucked into you from the bottom.
“m’sorryyyy. won’t happen againnn”
𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑘𝑎
“fuckkk. you always suck me so well mama” he groaned as he watched you work between his thighs. two hands stroking his shaft as you quickly moved your mouth all over his tip. there was spit all over your face and hands, but that only turned tanaka on even more. it’s been weeks since the two of you got to have sex since your boyfriend is always out and about being the best personal trainer he could be.
you looked up at his toned body in adoration as you began to suck him sloppier, slapping his pink tip on your tongue before taking him fully down your throat. *ring ring* the sound of his phone snatched him out of his lustfull trance. you were too busy hard at work so you didn’t notice, but when you glanced up at him the sight made your blood boil. this nigga was on the phone.
“hello?….yea f’course….nah that’s not a problem at all. would the gym by mall work for you?….aight coo, see you then”
you let go of his dick with a pop, giving him a confused look as you waited for him to explain what the fuck just happened. “client just called. said they wanted an extra work out” your jaw was on the floor. there was no way he was serious. “and you took it?” tanaka looked at you with a blank look, as if you should already know his answer. “duhh i took it. he’s been making good progress and ion wanna mess that up for him now.” you scoffed, standing up from the floor before walking towards the bathroom to clean yourself up. tanaka followed you, looking dumb as ever with his dick still out of his pants. “you not gon help me finish?”
you gave him a death stare before pushing past him and making your way to your side of the bed. “go have your fucking client suck it. since you running to his beck and call like you his bitch or sum” as soon as the words left your lips you felt a strong hand wrap around your throat. tanaka kept his voice steady, but by the grip he had on your neck you could tell he was pissed. “don’t say that shit again.” he said quietly, using his other inked hand to lift your chin up towards his face. tanaka leaned down, lips almost touching yours before he spoke again. “where you learn that at huh? ‘cause i know i never let you talk to me like that and i still don’t. you forgot where you at ma?”
he spoke lowly to you, making a shiver run down your spine as well as wetness rush through your panties. you didn’t say a word, pretty doe eyes looking up at him as you waited for his next move. “spread your legs f’me ‘kay?” you obeyed him without question. fear coursing through your veins as you watched your man angrily rip your panties in the middle. you eagerly waited for him to fuck you, little whines leaving your mouth as you watched tanaka tease your clit with his tip. “say you sorry first mama. ion play that disrespectful shit and you know that.”
“m’sorryyyy” you dragged your voice out to show extra remorse as you kept your legs wide for him to take you. a small smirk crept on tanaka’s face as he watched you listen to each of his commands without hesitation.
“just made you listen to my every word all for some forgiveness” he mumbled as he sunk half of his long dick into you.
“so who’s really the bitch?”
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whiteskullofroses · 2 months
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Noch einer!
(Dieter Hellstrom x reader)- slight nsfw
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A/N: Man idk, it's 1 am and Dieter is baby girl. I don't support nacizm/any of this man's ideologies. Enjoy!
🍻 Imagine being a Yugoslav Partisan camouflaged as an SS officer, when attending a nazi meeting in the basement you meet Dieter. After a few too many shots you slip up, but luckily he is too busy thinking about you rather than the things you say.🍻
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The room was getting louder and louder with every second running by, yet you didn't budge. At least on the outside, on the inside though, you were on fire. The gun on your belt looked lovelier with every nazi that walked in and sat down at the table you were sitting at.
You couldn't believe that you approved of this "genius" plan The Basterds came up with. No matter how stupid it seemed, there was a possibility it could work and you wanted nothing more than to have these Schwabs out of Europe and sent straight to hell where they belonged.
The SS uniform felt too tight and uncomfortable, you tapped your black boots against the cold cement and silently cursed every officer that came in the basement, however, you decided to busy your mind with something else and stretch your legs. You got up, lit a cigarette in between your middle and pointer finger, and noticed the gramophone hiding behind a wall. Just as you noticed it, it stopped playing. Walking up to the gramophone to restart it, your eyes noticed a figure in the corner.
The yellow light from the candle lit up the left side of his face.
The SS officer was reading a book and drinking beer. The more you stared at him, your mind forgetting about the music, the more attractive he looked. "No, Y/N this isn't right," you said to yourself: "I shouldn't pray on men today, especially nazis."
Without realizing he was staring right back at you until he finally spoke: "Fräulein? Was ist los?" You broke eye contact and didn't reply.
He took a deep breath and closed the book, his hand patting the sit next to him, gesturing for you to sit down.
Your heartbeat quickened, the tension was unbearable and not in a good way.
"Y/N, do not show any compassion to him, his people are killing yours on the lines out there, he doesn't deserve it." Were the only thoughts running through your head the whole time you were slowly walking up to his side.
But for now, you had to be an actress to stay alive. His cologne smelled nice. That was the first remark you truly noticed about him, besides his amazing looks. "Wie heißt du, Liebling?"
"Liebling? Hah," you thought: "what an attempt to get me flustered."
"Erika Shauenberg."
It wasn't your real name, of course.
"Zigarette?" the man asked you, smiling. His smile wasn't bad either, in fact, he was the most perfect man you've ever seen.
"Why does he have to be a piece of shit?"
Your cigarette from before burned up by itself without you even putting it in your mouth. He really got you distracted so much that you forgot to smoke.
Nodding and taking one out of the box you thanked him: "Danke."
With one slick move, he pulled out a lighter and lit it. German cigs tasted different than the Yugoslav ones, but for the time being, they were good enough.
"Oh!" He remembered: "Es tut mir leid, dass ich vergessen habe," putting one in his mouth as well: "mich vorzustellen."
Blowing smoke into thin air: "Major Dieter Hellstrom."
Dieter? What an extraordinary name.
"Erik!" Dieter called out to the waiter as he approached our table. "Scotch, zwei Gläser!"
Grinning, he leaned closer to you and half whispered: "Erik hat eine Flasche Jahre alten Whisky aus dem schottischen Hochland-"
"Would you mind if we continued in English?" You interrupted him: "I was raised in France as a German kid." Tapping your cigarette on a black ashtray: "I never learned proper German because my father, well..."
Think Y/N! Think!
"He was killed in combat and my mother died from the flu when I was only 5 years old." Putting on a sad face you sighed: "I was given to a foster family in France."
"Where?" Dieter wondered.
"Menton."
"Ah, Erik!"
The waiter brought the two of you your drinks and left the scotch bottle on the table. Amazing, this was going to be a long night.
However, in reality, you couldn't complain about being in his company. Yes, he was a nazi, and yes you hated nazis, but damn was he charming.
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1 hour later....
You've never had this much fun in your life. How many shots you drank, how many cigarettes you smoked? You didn't care, and neither did Dieter. He was just as shitfaced as you.
You both laughed at each other's stories from the past.
"Noch einer, Liebling?"
"Ja, bitte!"
As he took your glass to fill it up, you watched the golden liquid splash on the table as the bottle slipped from his hand. You quickly picked it up, slightly touching his hand while leaning over the table to reach it, and laughed out loud.
"You know this reminds me when I lived in Yugo-"
Shit. No no no no no!
"Yugo? What Yugo?" he looked at you, his eyes glassy, gazing upon your face.
You swallowed hard: "Yugo? Yugo! Ah, yes!"
Think Y/n, think!
"Yugo's apartment .."
Good job Y/n
"We dated in highschool."
It was quite impressive how your foggy brain could still have such a wild imagination.
For a second he looked at you and said:
"You're aren't German, are you?"
Silence
You simply started at him and ran over the words he just spoke.
He said it's so effortlessly, his drunk tongue didn't slur one word in that sentence, as if that didn't mean that you were about to die. There was no solution in getting out of this. You do not have any evidence that you in fact were German, nor that you lived in France! Hell you don't even know France that well at all! You were pretty sure these were your last moments alive before his pretty German pistol would shoot you in the head and leave you for the rats feast on.
Suddenly the clock on the stone wall behind you started ticking slower, your heartbeat sped up and your palms got sweaty.
Meanwhile, he took a deep breath and slowly let it out. His left hand was in his pocket the whole time, swiftly he pulled his hand out of his pocket and grabbed your face, to your surprise he didn't press a gun to your lips, he pressed his lips against yours. He kissed you.
To be continued...
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bixbiboom · 2 years
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[ID: A tweet from Erika Ishii @.erikaishii which reads: “It’s been an honor and a pleasure. We’ll be seeing Yu! Although you might not know it’s us... 🖤🪞🗡 🎨: @agarthanguide #CriticalRoleSpoilers” There’s a picture attached of Yu Saffiad, Erika’s true character on Critical Role, in what they displayed as their true form. They’re a changeling with silver iridescent skin and colorless hair, dressed in very sexy black leathers with gold accents and a long black duster, pointing their crystal-hilted fey sword outward. /end ID]
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[ID: A tweet from Erika in reply to their previous tweet which reads: “And may I say @agarthanguide absolutely NAILED IT. I was so fussy about Yu that I sent multiple Pinterest boards and even pose reference. (Finally my sword training and history as a figure model at Blizzard and CalArts pays off!) #CriticalRoleSpoilers” There’s a picture attached of Erika themself modeling the pose that Yu was drawn in, wearing denim shorts and a black tank top, holding a length of black dowel as the sword. /end ID]
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[ID: A third tweet from Erika in reply to the last which reads: “And yes, of course there were playlists. Most songs on one were the answer to a song on the other. 🤍🖤 #CriticalRoleSpoilers” There are two screenshots attached of the headers for Dusk’s and Yu’s playlists. Each one has the respective character’s official character art at the top. Going back and forth from one to the other, Dusk’s first song is “All I Have to Do is Dream” by the Everly Brothers, and Yu’s first is “As the World Falls Down” by David Bowie. The second songs are “Mirror Mirror” by Juniper Vale and “Sweet Dreams” by the Eurythmics. The third songs are “Demons” by Hayley Kiyoko and “Devil’s Playground” by the Rigs. The fourth and final songs shown for both are “Dream A Little Dream of Me” by the Mamas & the Papas and “Playground” by Bea Miller. We can also see the fifth song for Dusk, “Lillipop” by Mika, but not its companion on Yu’s. /end ID]
Unfortunately Erika’s playlists for Dusk and Yu are both still currently private and not accessible by the public.
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sanhatipal · 3 months
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"Your spirit and my voice in one combine!!"
Ah I finally finished it!! Watercolor ,ink and chalk pastels on cold pressed paper, PH Phantom of the Opera stage performance!!
This is more of a post ending headcanon scenario,where Alice and Oz put up a performance, Alice as Phantom (Erika?) and Oz as Christine (uh...Christian? Idk). It wouldn't be the entire play,just bits of dialogue and a few of the songs. Gil would be watching from the audience,super proud
This was inspired by Lunaeria 's amazing cover of the song,which YouTube made me hear and sent me spiralling until I got around to drawing it. I had a lot of fun with the costumes! I have the sketches of the costume designs,if anyone wants,I can post them!
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fillingthescrapbook · 7 months
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Let's Talk About: Burrow's End and Bearing the Scars
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Previously on Burrow's End: Aabria terrified us with something unknown that's tearing through the lands. In today's episode, she's terrifying us with something more visual. And her very bright and cheerful greeting right at the top truly does the opposite of preparing us for the horrors we witness after.
And, let's just be clear here, while we've got an amazing set of players at the table--we are truly getting a mind-blowing experience from Burrow's End because of one Aabria Iyengar. She is pushing boundaries--and dome limitations--while guiding a very entertaining (albeit horrifying) narrative.
Also can I just say: the last time we had a party made up of mostly family members, we were sent through an emotional wringer. Aabria seems to be setting the stage for a very similar experience--with almost half the episode count. I am terrified. Especially if we're gonna get another, "oh, you didn't beat me" from Aabria after a player rolls a 21. Or was it a 23? Either way, it was a high number. And we got a "oh, you didn't beat me"! The way my eyes widened and my jaw dropped.
And that combat map? Coupled with the projection? The art team is truly delivering this season. Holy carnivora.
Other stray thoughts:
We are getting the whole Mommygan experience from Brennan.
Erika is the scariest grandma.
Izzy's older-sibling energy is off the charts.
The apotheosis is upon us!
Bye, mystical mustelids!
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Hear me out… “can we go home?” Prompt as a part 2 to “did I do good?”
this got long and i applied to jobs and had an identity crisis in the middle of writing it, hope u enjoy LMAO
TW: discussions of the explosion from "did I do good?" and medical talk wheeeee
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You were growing tired of the hospital.
The pain meds warded off the sharp bite of pain everytime you moved, but they also kept your head in a continual fuzzy state. Sleep released its hold on you for only an hour or so before another dose of medicine sent you back under the veil of dreams.
Whenever you were awake, you found one or more of your children propped up in a chair in the corner of the room. Dick would be furiously jabbing his knitting needles into the air as a new project materialized between his fingers. Cass joined him occasionally, but sometimes she scooted her chair closer to your side, her slim fingers encased around yours, and watched whatever show played on the television. You were partial to Animal Planet so that meant she sat through hours of shark week and River Monsters.
Jason read, of course, sometimes silently and sometimes, when it was just him and you, he read aloud. His soft baritone voice was a comfort over the occasional beeps and shrieks of alarms out in the hall. Tim made sure to come by at the same time everyday so the two of you could watch Jeopardy and then Real Housewives. Although you were usually high off your ass because of the pain meds, you made sure to let him know what a fucking liar Erika Jayne was.
Stephanie, your little demonic angel, propped herself up in the chair next to your bed and played Sims, the sound of her laptop a steady thrum that helped put you to sleep. Your own personal white noise machine. Damian drew in his sketchbook, quiet as always, but he made sure to bring it to you during your moments of lucidity so you could see his art. Duke, however, was the hardest to pry away from your bedside. You understood his hesitation at leaving another parent at a medical center. So you didn’t say anything if you woke up to find him seated next to you, one of your hands in his, as he muddled over another crossword puzzle.
Alfred came by numerous times everyday. He brought treats for the nurses, creature comforts from home for you, and made sure that the children didn’t stay too long. You insisted that they lived their lives outside of the hospital, even their night jobs. Alfred checked over what foods you were receiving from the dining services, humming and marking down nutritional values and if you were getting enough calories. He always plied you with cookies every time he visited and ensured you were eating enough protein to help your wound heal faster. The vase of golden sunflowers next to your bed were always fresh and replenished so you suspected Alfred ensured that they were always replaced when they started to wilt.
But one person didn’t show.
You tried to not dwell on the fact that Bruce never once made an appearance. Even Clark and Diana had dropped by with flowers and well wishes. But your husband remained his usual disappearing act. You didn’t understand why and frankly, you didn’t care. For years you tried to remind Bruce that he wasn’t always Batman. He was a father and husband and friend, both inside and outside of the suit, yet it felt like as time went further, he forgot more of who he was.
It was fine. You had Alfred and your kids. Their love made you wish you could wrap your arms around them, but these damn IVs wouldn’t let you. You knew they were just as disappointed in Bruce as you were, but nothing anyone said would change things.
Until you turned on the news one night and saw the headlines that the perpetrators of the explosion at the Wayne Gala had been caught and the entire organization eradicated. The group had been targeting the Wayne family, reporters said, and they blamed you for the unemployment rate and food insecurity in the city. Well, hell, your family had been working to eradicate the wage gap and food deserts for years, but if anyone was to get hurt, you were glad it was you.
Three broken ribs, a punctured liver, internal bleeding, a concussion, and your body one giant bruise meant that your kids were safe. You would place yourself between them and the blast every single time.
The news cameras zoomed in on the bodies that were slumped against the front of the police headquarters. Faces bloodied and raw, the men stared back at the camera with haunted eyes and your breathing hitched just slightly when you recognized the mark carved into one man’s forehead.
A bat.
“Mrs. Wayne?” Geraldine, one of the day shift nurses, called from the door to your room. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” you replied. “I just saw the news.”
The kindly older woman bustled in with one of the new nurses on her heels. The two women had been working three nights a week for the time you had been on the floor and you appreciated their steady, comforting nature. They had both been a little thrown when the Waynes of Gotham showed up on their floor but once you asked Geraldine to treat you like a normal person, she warmed up to you like a grandmother.
“How ya feelin’, sweets?” she asked. Every few hours they checked your vitals and incision spots to ensure that you were healing well and no infection was growing.
“Listen, I love you ladies. But if I have to stay here any longer, I might snap.”
They laughed at your comment and Farah, the fledgling nurse who followed Geraldine like a baby goose after its mama, focused on checking your incisions while Geraldine marked down your vitals.
“You’re so close to being free,” Geraldine promised. “Dr. Huerta will come by later today to check everything and hopefully, you’ll be out in a day or two.”
“Am I the last one to be discharged?” While you were the most seriously injured due to your proximity to the blast, a few people were also brought into Gotham General with varying injuries.
“Yep,” Farah hummed. “They’re all home and Mr. Wayne said he would pay for their bills.”
That made you pause. Farah’s head raised the second the words came out of her mouth and Geraldine turned sharply in her direction. Farah grimaced and sighed. “Sorry, I know he told us not to say anything.”
Your lips parted in shock and you glanced between the two women. “He called the hospital?”
Geraldine sighed and approached your bed. She reached out and clasped your hand between hers and gave you a kind smile.
“He’s been here everyday, sweets. Only leaves at night before he’s back in the morning. He just sits in the waiting room, looking like death warmed over. I keep tellin’ him that he should at least come talk to you, but he refuses unless he knows you’re asleep. Who do you think keeps bringing those flowers?”
“I don’t understand.” Your brow furrowed. “Why the fuck is he here if he won’t even talk to me? Why has no one told me?”
Geraldine pursed her lips and then she patted your hands. “Sometimes, men are stupid.”
That elicited a snort from Farah but Geraldine wasn’t finished. “I think, sweets, that he blames himself and he can’t bring himself to see you when you’re awake because he’s terrified that you’ll hate him.”
You glanced between the two women and narrowed your eyes. “What else has he done?”
They launched into a list of things. Your favorite blanket that you kept in the study at home was draped across your legs because of Bruce, the nurses were now being paid more because of his meeting with the hospital executives (and subsequent buyout of the Gotham General system so that meant more paperwork for you to deal with when you got out), and many other things. Bruce, silent as he was, operated without a word to you because he was so fucking scared that you hated him.
“Is he out there? Right now?” you asked once they trailed off.
“Yeah,” Farah sighed. “The more coffee he drinks from the cafeteria, the more I think we’re going to have to admit him soon for cardiac arrest.”
“Bring my husband in, please. If he fights you on it, tell him to stop being such a fucking coward.”
Geraldine let out a delighted laugh and practically skipped out of the room, clearly excited to give Bruce Wayne a run for his money. Farah waited patiently at your bedside and you were grateful that she didn’t abandon you right now.
Light footsteps grew closer to the door and you heard the soft creak of the hinges until he was standing before you. His hair was shaggy and unkempt and a five o’clock shadow clung to his jaw. Bruce was still in his usual daytime uniform of slacks and a button down, but the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his entire ensemble was wrinkled.
“Thank you,” you said to the nurses. They vacated the room quickly, leaving you two just staring at each other. Bruce cleared his throat and glanced towards the door as if he was preparing to leave, but you pointed your finger at him and he froze midstep.
“Sit your ass down, Wayne,” you ordered. He started towards the chairs in the corner but you let out a disapproving noise and he turned to where you were pointing. Bruce sighed and trudged over to the hospital bed you were lying in. His eyes searched your face for any sign of anger or discomfort as he sat down on the edge of the bed. 
“Bruce Thomas Wayne,” you began. “You stupid man.”
Your hand curled around his and you brought it to your lips, brushing a kiss against his palm. He sucked in a tight breath and you enclosed his fingers around your love.
“I’m not mad at you, if that’s what you think.”
“I should have stopped them sooner. I should have never let this happen to you. I-”
You smoothed a hand down his forearm. “You didn’t let anything happen to me. It happened because people wanted to hurt me. You can’t stop them from their thoughts or their anger, Bruce. You can’t change the way people feel. You can only do as much as you can and you and I both know that.”
He shut his eyes and sighed. Bags cradled his eyes, shadowing the bright blue pupils you woke up to every morning. The lines on his face deepened and he looked as if he aged ten years since you last saw him.
“How can you stand to be near me?” he croaked out. You reached up and tucked some of his dark hair out of his face before cradling his jaw.
“Because I like because, Bruce, and I love despite. I love you despite how many times you make me want to tear my hair out. I love you despite your self-flagellation tendencies. I love you despite the fact that there is something deeply psychologically wrong with you.” He chuckled at your teasing remark and leaned into your touch.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed against the soft skin of your wrist.
“I know you are,” you assured him. “But you’re still going to grovel so damn much.”
“Whatever you wish for, you will get.”
You considered his words for a moment and hummed to yourself. “You have to take Damian to the art museum and cannot look at your phone once.”
“Easy.” He ghosted his lips against your wrist and you shivered at the soft touch.
“Okay. How about letting Stephanie drive the car next time?”
He grimaced, obviously knowing you meant the Batmobile and thinking about the blonde’s tendency to take wide turns. “Fine.” He kissed your brow, right over some stitches as if he could heal them with just a tender touch.
“You have to shake hands with Hal Jordan and tell him he’s doing a good job.”
“You’re a fucking menace.” Bruce dipped his head down to kiss you sweetly, but you were grinning too much to let it last.
“Can we go home now?” you whispered against his lips. “I just want to be in bed with you. I’m sick of the food here.”
He cradled your head against his chin and sighed, his breath washing across your skin. Bruce was so careful with you as to not aggravate any of your injuries. For as idiotic as he could be in the emotions department, he knew exactly what to do to comfort you physically.
“Soon, my love. And I will wait on you hand and foot. I’ll never let anything happen to you again. Ever. I swear.”
“I know.” But you didn’t take his promise to heart. Not in your line of work. He could guarantee that the sun would rise in the morning and set in the evening, but no one could promise that the scythe of death wouldn’t come calling any minute.
But you would let him hold you and make promises. It would make him feel better and that, in and of itself, was a gift.
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utilitycaster · 1 month
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This might be an odd question but are there any really good standout takes you've seen recently from people in the actual play sphere about TTRPG mechanics and/or actual play storytelling?
Hi anon,
The specific one that comes to mind is the recent public Worlds Beyond Number fireside - Brennan, Erika, and Aabria all make really great points about the nature of D&D specifically and how it fits into the world of TTRPGs. I wrote about it here but it's worth listening to.
I am not on Twitter really, because I hate it, but I have occasionally been sent good takes from Spenser Starke, and I think his and Rowan Hall's interviews leading up to the Circle of Needle and Thread finale were a great discussion about the design choices for Candela Obscura.
Perhaps stepping back a bit from the question here, but on the whole I find the best takes are consistently from performers and designers - there are occasionally written pieces I like, but you have to dig through a lot of nonsense. Unfortunately a lot of these are also behind a paywall; some of the best discussions are talkback shows and those usually are patreon/subscriber content (for me specifically, NADDPod's Short Rest and Worlds Beyond Number's Fireside - though do check out the public one they released last week). Adventuring Academy on Dropout also is consistently very good, unsurprisingly, and while it's not the intent of the show, I actually think NADDPod's D&D Court (of which there are a number of public episodes) is a fresh voice that constantly answers the question "how can you jerk-proof TTRPGs" (which I believe had a moment on Twitter this week) and the answer Murph is unafraid to provide is "you can't, get better friends."
Finally: I think that you cannot talk about mechanics or actual play in a theoretical manner. You don't need to have played every game or class - far from it - but I think you do need to played a little and have watched/listened to a lot of actual play; or have played a lot, which is why AP performers, even if they're not trained writers, often have some of the best takes. Brennan is humble in that WBN fireside I mentioned and says smarter people have talked about this; but I really don't think many have. He's been playing TTRPGs for decades and that's not something you can easily catch up to.
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willowser · 10 months
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Ok ok but Star crossed lovers + dance of romance with our dear Katsuki if you can and if not I understand bb!!💌💕
OH STAR CROSSED LOVERS. OH erika this has to be dancing with him at your wedding to someone else. oh, it has to be. you try so hard to make it work in your young adult life, but — dating a pro-hero is so hard !!! katsuki's still young and stubborn about opening himself up, even if he wants to !! even if he wants it to be you he comes home to, you he eats dinner with, you he is worthy of !! but his job is so demanding 🥺 and he can see it tearing you apart 🥺 and he doesn't know how to balance his work life and his love life and so you both. call it quits.
you tell him with tears in your eyes, nose runny and rubbed raw, "find me as soon as you can, okay? come find me when we can make it work, and i'll wait for you."
and he promises to, with a red face and his own bleary eyes.
and you don't wait.
he finds out before he's ready, before he can give you the love you deserve and it makes him fucking angry. some asshole sweeps you off your feet a few years later, and though katsuki isn't a social media person, the only reason he agrees to an agency instagram is so he can occasionally see your face. what you're doing. hear your laugh in your little reels. but then there's another face, another laugh, and he thinks he maybe hates you for it.
you run into each other by chance and he can't even stand to look at you, can't bear to look at the new way you wear your hair, the new way you dress, and know that you're going home to someone else. when you try to talk to him about it, he just — erupts. blames all his anger and heartbreak on you, is ugly and hideous and so green it makes him sick, and after that he thinks maybe you hate him too and that's for the best.
after a couple of months, it doesn't work out with your stupid, charming idiot, but katsuki's fucked it all up with you; he sends a hesitant, simple text and gets no response; his official instagram is blocked. and he's still not ready, but he can't let the moment slip through his fingers and he shows up at your door and it's — crazy. heated. intense and passionate. clothes are flung across your apartment and you mark him down to his bones and he's never had someone the way he's had you. the way he still can't. the morning comes early with a call from kirishima and he leaves before the sun rises.
you do this, for a while. this back and forth, push and pull thing that only ever ends one way: you, naked and asleep and left behind. it's not good. it's not healthy. you're both angry and hurt and it doesn't work, won't work, but — it's all either of you can get. and it doesn't stop until another charming idiot comes along and another screaming match is what you leave behind.
neither of you reach out. the years pass by and he stops trying to keep tabs on you, tries to move on himself. he dates and brings people home, but it's never the same. he starts to think that maybe, entering his thirties, that he can figure this out, that maybe he's put in enough time to balance his work life and his love life, to get you back. he makes plans, he tests his boundaries for vacation time and learns to allow someone to take his shift, if he needs the night off. he says no, he says i can't because i have plans. he figures it out.
your wedding invitations are pretty, delicate. you look nice in your photo; happy and taken care of. at first he thinks maybe you sent it to hurt him, but there's a small, handwritten note stuffed into the envelope that he's sure isn't going out with all the rest of the invites: i really hope that you can make it. i would love to see you.
katsuki takes the time off. katsuki gets his shift covered and he changes from his hero costume to something nice, even with a tie. there's a small hope he has going into it that he'll get to talk to you before the ceremony, that this will play out like the movies and you'll see him and change your mind and it will work out, finally.
but it doesn't.
"don't cry," he tells you during your dance, as you stare anywhere but him and blink your eyes, sniffing and frowning. "you'll fuck up all your makeup and i'll look like an asshole."
it makes you laugh, and it's the first time he's heard it in years. it doesn't stop the tears though, and you can't speak until you blink them away. "thanks for coming."
katsuki shrugs, hand tightening on the back of your dress as his throat threatens to close. "sorry it wasn't sooner."
the face you make is awful, one he's seen many times, at this point. one that hurts just as much as it did the first time, when you both walked away. "sorry i didn't wait longer."
and he is too, but he can't open his mouth to tell you it's alright, because if he does he's not sure what he'll really say. he's not sure if he's still angry. he's not sure that he won't ask you to leave with him, right now. he's not sure he's ready to give up.
but you are finally and — that's always been it, hasn't it ? it's always been katsuki that's walked away empty.
✨️ trope game ! ✨️
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Note
Rose's Day of Asks
Ok. I know I already sent you one. But now I really wanna now your answer to this one too. So pick the one you prefer.
Characters not actors. Let's put together a TTRPG group for a one shot. Who are you inviting?
Have a great Day💜
Yay! Thank you for giving me this question!
On behalf of socially awkward, queer autistic kids everywhere, let me introduce you to my one shot party: 
Shin, 3 Will Be Free
Quiet, kind, nerdy, smart-ish, lucky, and in need of friends? I think Shin would be a perfect candidate for a one shot. He seems like the kind of player who might not say much at the beginning, but would get ahold of the game quickly, would be comfortable with the improvisational aspect of a TTRPG, and would probably come out of his shell the longer he plays. 
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Heart, Moonlight Chicken
This is very much so that he has a reason to get out of the house. Honestly, Heart has been severely undersocialized the last few years, and has mostly stuck around Li Ming and Li Ming’s community since then. I’ve set entire parties up before just to give people better access to a queer community, I would 1000% set up a one shot just to give Heart a chance to make friends outside of Li Ming’s social circle. Plus I genuinely think he would be good at it. 
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Aylin, 23.5
The hardest part of recruiting Aylin to play a TTRPG is getting close enough to her for her to listen to me. But the second she is presented with the knowledge that she could play…mm….Githzerai or some sort of Dark Heresy style game where she has any opportunity to play an alien, I think she would be there. 
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Zhou Zi Shu, Word of Honor
You know I almost put Wen Kexing on here, because he’s a #dramaticbitch but he’s the type of #dramaticbitch that would probably be annoying for everyone else at the table. Zhou Zi Shu, however, is a smart, charismatic #dramaticbitch with a modicum of self restraint, and I would absolutely refuse to let him play a monk or fighter because I will not be arguing with him about martial arts. Thank you. 
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Im Han Te, Sing My Crush
Im Han Te gives off the kind of jock-who-secretly-loves-nerdy-shit vibes that I think he would absolutely kill it in a TTRPG group. Not only that, but I fully can picture him getting in to mini-painting as a hobby. He’s also sociable but not imposing and clearly has a penchant for adopting introverted queer kids so I think he’d be a great resource for the other people in the group, and he’d 100% help them figure out the rules if they didn’t know how to play. 
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Erika, KinnPorsche
Would I allow Zhou Zi Shu to play a martial class? Absolutely not. But, Erika? Oh she’s only allowed to play a gunslinger. Mostly because I think she deserves to have even fancier and more badass guns in her arsenal. Also you know she’d come up with such a badass character, and she’d make my life a living hell in the best possible way if I was GMing the game.
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corrodedcoughin · 2 years
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How do you think Steve and Eddie told the kids they were dating? I’ve come up with a million and 1 different scenarios for each of them (except for Dustin, who almost always helps set them up in my head) but I love hearing everyone else’s headcanons for it!
Oh my god I’m so sorry somehow I never saw this??? I am so sorry!
Im conflicted between a big display and never actually telling then because they just figure it out when both Steve and Eddie start to be consistently happy instead of their previous ways of being, a mix between emotionally numb and being on emotional high alert when it comes to The Party.
But with Eddie’s flare for dramatics I’d like to think he plans something. Okay so for hellfire he plays the long game. He introduces an npc called Stefan who the party conveniently all get emotionally invested it (is this because every characteristic is based on someone they know very well? Eddie will never tell). So there’s a whole story arc where they befriend Stefan and his back story unfolds when he explains he’s trying to go home but can’t until he knows the world is safe. So the party adopt him and protect him at all costs, there is one too many near misses where Stefan is sent into death saves and the party get ferocious in their need to protect him.
As the campaign ends they escort Stefan home. They defeated the big evil together, yes Stefan tried to scarfice himself for them but they stopped him every time. They arrive at Stefan’s village, a small affair but friendly and accepting. They insist on taking Stefan to his door to ensure no danger falls upon him, all of which is according to Eddie’s plan because when Stefan arrives home the party hear a loud ‘STEFE!’ from the door and explain details the scene. A man with a lute, exploding out the door, picks Stefan (Stefe? Steve?) up and whirls him round before turning to the group. ‘Thank you brave fighters for bringing my love back to me, I’m Edd, Bard Extraordinaire and I will tell tales of your bravery for forever more’
Erika is the first one to get it. Standing up from the table and pointing ‘YOU!’ Which is when Steve comes in for pick up duty. Erika wheels ‘and YOU!’ And Steve gives a small wave with a ducked head, Eddie told him ‘tonight is the night’ after keeping Steve up to date with the campaign. Steve was nervous coming in but wouldn’t have missed it for the world, grateful to be supporting and in turn being supported by Eddie.
Slowly Dustin stands, replicating the exact same response as Erika. This is when the chaos starts. It never really stops to be honest but once everyone is on the same page the out pouring is of support but also ‘ew gross you kiss HIM?’ (Aimed at both of them from various members of the group). Steve just stands next to Eddie at the head of the table, Eddie’s arm around his waist, Steve’s hand on Eddie’s head, both smiling at their make shift family and happy to have it out in the open
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gadriezmannsgirl · 1 year
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I loved your fic for Antoine 🖤 so I was thinking can I request one where he’s training and reader is home alone but somehow someone breaks into the house and she calls Antoine first and he gets all worried that he leaves training and rushes back home? You can pick up the ending if you want to, it can either be fluff or angst :)) thank you 🖤
Afraid - Antoine Griezmann
Summary: Both of you were afraid when someone breaks into your house
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In a normal day like any other, your boyfriend, Antoine would leave for training as you take care of his kids and do your work.
Today it seemed like one of those days, after a loving morning with Antoine he left for trainig; Erika, Anto's ex had left you the kids for a few hours, meanwhile she was doing some things with her company, Duzama.
Mía and Amaro were watching some TV show, while you had Alba on your lap doing some edits of the pictures you had taken, all of you in yours and Antoine's shared room.
Alba laughed at something and you smiled hand going to tickle her stomach causing the youngest Griezmann to laugh a bit more, when your phone lighted up
"Mami está llamando" (Mommy's callin') You announced to the two oldest who inmediately ran to your side greeting their mother
"Mis nenes hermosos! I'm on my way, Y/I. Meeting was quicker than I thought it would be so everything went out smoothly" You smiled nodding
"I'm glad" You smiled "We'll be here" You announced and she nodded hanging up
Five minutes had passed and you were on your own, Erika already had picked the kids up and now everything was too quiet, but that meant you could finish your edits sooner and the possibility of doing a little romantic dinner for your boyfriend would be more present.
So, that's what you did. After closing and locking the doors you were off to your room to finish your job. Your phone rang once more this time with a call of Anto, making you smile widely
"Hola señor" (Hello sir) You said instantly while watching his face turn up into a smile
"Hello beautiful lady" You smiled "Estás preciosa" (You're gorgeous)
You smiled "And you're sweaty" Both of you laugh a little
"Erika texted me she already picked the kids up?" You nod watching his face fall a bit
"What's wrong?" You ask concerned
"I wanted to see them when I get home" He smiled shaking his head ", but don't worry, chérie. I will pick them up after school tomorrow" You nod
"Mía told me something among those lines" You said with a smile remembering when she told you with her heavy spanish accent 'Papá nos irá a buscar al cole a Amaro y a mí, vendremos y veremos Vuelve Giselle' (Daddy will pick me and Amaro up from school tomorrow, we'll come and we'll watch Disenchanted) "How's practice going?"
"Only two hours more and then I'm all yours" You smiled even more if it was possible
"Yes, come soon please"You begged lightly
"Will do, chérie. What are you doing?"
"Some editing and then I'll do a little surprise for you"
"Sounds incredible" You nod
"Not for anything, but it does sound and it'll be good" Anto laughs
"But you don't have to, tho"
"I also know that" You smiled "But I wanted to"
"I love you" He says shaking his head a little
"I love you more"
"Call me if something happens" You nod
"Will do" And with that you hang up the call.
You went ahead and put a little bit of slow music, to help you concentrate and without knowing you worked and worked fast, that much that only an hour after you were done with the editions of that session.
You were surprised, editing was always the worst part of your job and mostly it took almost all of your day to do half of the photographs.
Once you were happy with your job you started choosing the best photos and sent them to the newlywed couple you worked for five days ago.
You always felt so good when people loved your job and the smile they brought to your face when you read their reply was making you feel everything in your stomach and be really proud of yourself.
But then you heard something.
Something weird, like... As if someone was looking for something. You stopped your music, thankful that you didn't had it at max.
Being careful you got out of your room and walked down a few stairs when you heard it and see it. There were two men looking for something.
They just broke into your house.
You quickly went once more into your room, feeling extremely nervous but also thankful that the kids weren't here. You picked up your phone and prayed for Antoine to pick up.
The small chance scenario of him still being busy and not answering made you feel sick.
"Aló?" You heard a voice, it wasn't Antoine's but you still recognized it and were grateful for it
"Koke!" You breathed in relief "Oh, thank god you answered... Mmmm... Is Antoine near you? Is he avaliable? It's really important and I need urgently to talk to him"
"He's still training. But I'm on my way to him. Is everything okay?" You heard the worry on your friend's voice
"Someone broke into the house and I'm all alone" You whispered hearing footsteps closer.
You shut down the lights, the laptop and went into the big closet Antoine posses and got inside in one that hadn't too much stuffs.
Foolish? Yes. The only option you had? Yes.
"Joder" (Fuck) You heard Koke say and then heard his breath a bit elaborated. He was running "Antoine!" He yelled "It's Y/N!"
"Chérie, what's wrong?" He asked
"Someone broke into the house, I'm alone and scared" You said quickly but still trying to make him understand
"What do you mean someone broke into our house? Where are you? Please, tell me you're somewhere safe, I'm on my way"
"I'm hidden in the closet of our room. I couldn't go anywhere else"
"Have you called the police?" You shook your head no while making a little sound of negation
"I just realized it" You said before hearing the door of your room open
"Koke's calling the police, chérie. And I'm already on my way, okay?"
"I think they're here" You said "Like, in our room"
"Let them take anything they want to, I don't care about the material stuff. We can replace it later. All I care about is your well-being, chérie"
"Come back home, please"
"Already on my way, beautiful. Don't hang up"
And you didn't and neither did he.
You kept on hearing their voices, mostly saying what to leave and what to take. You deep breathed when they started looking around the closet for any kind of jewelry.
"Please, no" You whispered hearing their voices closer each time
"I'm one turn away, chérie" You heard Antoine say
Then like magic, police sirens were heard
"Fuck!" One of the men yelled "Leave everything, we cannot get caught! I just got out of prison"
"We cannot leave with our hands empty!"
"Yes, we can. Maybe break into another house later"
"But this people are fucking rich!"
"We gotta go, now!"
"Fucking hell" You heard one of them say "Let me just put these things in here, then"
The door of the closet you were in, flew open.
"Oi!" You reacted quickly.
One of your legs came up to his stomach and your fist went to his eye.
That man fell to the ground as you flew out wanting to escape but the one that was in the door blocked you way out.
Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe you just wanted to be in the safety of your boyfriend's arms, but you picked the mans head and smashed it against your wall.
The man falling to the ground and you grabbed the opportunity to escape. You weren't a girl made for running but you ran down the stairs and out of the house.
You saw Antoine just parking, he got out of the car and ran to met you halfway while the police parked right in front of your house and some of them inmediately went inside and two officers came to you
"You okay, miss?" You nodded feeling tears on your eyes
"Two" You say "There were two. I hit them and ran here, they are inside" You say quickly burying yourself in Antoine
"Bien hecho" (Well done), the female officer said as Antoine got you in the backseat of his car
"Chérie" As soon as you heard his voice, you crumbled "They didn't do anything to you, right?"
"They didn't" You clarified "I was scared they would've tho"
"I was scared too, Chérie" Anto kissed your cheek multiple times "When Koke called me and you said those words I felt my whole world came down. Millions of scenarios came running to my mind and I couldn't bear the fact of losing you" He hugged you tighter to him "I'm sorry for not being there with you"
"You're with me now and it's all that matters" You said shaking your head lightly holding onto him "I hit them"
"Yes, you did"
"I felt like a badass" You admitted pulling yourself away a little to wipe your tears, Anto and you shared a little laugh
"You're precious, my badass girl" You kissed his cheek
"You were going inside?" You asked remembering watching him go out of his car and ran into your house
"I was about to when I saw you came out"
"You didn't had to"
"It wasn't something of having, it was something I needed to and I wanted to because you're my partner, my girl and I just couldn't let you inside with the terror happening while I'm outside watching it"
You heard screams coming out and when you turned around both mens were being scorted out
"The most important thing now is that I'm safe and in your arms"
"You are" Anto pulled back to kiss your lips thrice "Thank god, you are"
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stellamancer · 4 days
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:3 🥑 🥐
:3
avocado: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?
well, first you, moda. and probably erika (@kedsandtubesocks ). also maybe merms (@ofmermaidstories). i think merms would give amusement in burying a body.
cwasan: name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 
okay april asked this too and i couldn't find the tweet but between now and then my friend found it and sent it me so here it is. i don't know why i think it's funny.
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