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flameontheotherside · 4 years

Note

How would you describe your relationship with Erik?

It’s complicated because he’s dead.

On the spirit level as twin flames, he’s my spirit spouse but lately more like he’s my best friend. It’s awkward to “talk” about given my past as a skeptical intuitive. It’s easy to dismiss our relationship because it’s unheard of and sort of uncommon for an intuitive to have a “relationship” with a spirit.

Everyone kind of has thier own ideas and beliefs. I can only go by my experiences, my tests and achievements. Erik has been with me through it all! Unless you’re in my shoes, I can understand why it will seem a little hokey pokey or whatever… And that’s okay. I often think about how I can describe our relationship. I think because I think about my readers or our readers interested in our life. As twin flames we are literally sharing a life and a soul.

Ive been both blessed and cursed.

Blessed because he literally saved and changed my life. Cursed because I’ve known of him and knew it was over when he died. We had this psychic connection from the beginning that I couldn’t explain. I knew he was across the country and I had come close to finding him before he died. I literally wished ON A FUCKING SHOOTING STAR in fall of ‘08 to know whoever it was I had to find because I knew time was ticking. Some months after that, my chakras got activated and it freaked me out. So Intuitivly I knew he died and I sort of died too. This isn’t uncommon. This phenomenon is real and I’m hoping to find others who have had similar experiences.

After his death paranormal shit started happening around me and he regularly visited my dreams as The Curly Haired Pool Boy. I found my friends at these pool parties were friends from Home in The Four Realms. I have a natural gift of travel and lucid dreaming. Before I met Erik, I knew or more like felt that the entity following me after his death was the pool boy. I didn’t know that I would stumble upon his mom’s YouTube channel. Now that was another tirely disturbing bag of chips. That fucked me up. It still does.

Watch In Your Eyes with Zoe Kazan.

I LOVE that movie…

It’s very similar to us in a way. It’s so funny that right before meeting Erik I watched the movie and though how nice would it be to have that kind of relationship. 🚫 Nope! It’s not all that great especially because Erik is dead. We don’t get that kind of sappy ending. If I’m lucky it will be like the ending of Titanic when old Rose dies in her sleep. Lol I’d much rather die and kick Erik’s ass.

😘❤️ Have a great weekend!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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flameontheotherside · 4 years

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youtube

I channeled Erik singing this song to me. Almost died when I realized it was this song. Right after I finished and aced my TABC cert. test.

Had us both laughing and singing this song. 🎤🎶😂👏

These are my love handles and this is my spout, but if you tip me over then mama said knock you out!

If there ever was a kareoke version of the song I can only imagine the hilarity. 🤣

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flameontheotherside · 4 years

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Stage Queen

Last night I was invited to kareoke with Lynn's son and a friend of his. I sang and naturally I grace 🎤🎶🎵 the stage with my presence and pitch perfect voice. 💅💋 As per usual I killed it. Slayed it 💯.

... 📸💫🌠Supa staaahhhh💫✨

Anyways it was kind of boring because it's not like back home and people know me. Some old dude asked me to dance with him. I don't dance. It was nice to have been talked to anyway as I leave the stage in glorious victory. 😜 I put my whole heart and soul in to it....But ask me...

What are you doing here?

🙃 One more time and I'll pour a alcoholic beverage all over them and set them on fire 🙃. If I had a crumb for every time I've been asked that I'd have a whole loaf of bread. Lmao I chatted up with an interesting dude at the firepit outside. I have no interest other than to throw witty comments back and forth. It got boring.

I'm beginning to miss Matthew. Glad he's got a job and I'm starting a job in a few days because I passed the TABC and have the cert to sell alcohol. 🤔 I wonder if I can bartend with this license. I can't bartend. Drinking on the job and flirting with married guys 🙄. Divorced guys. Baby daddies with a 🤩 gorgeous aesthetic. Another incarnate from the four realms. It's almost that time of the month. I'd just toss Matthew back to San Antonio anyway.

Erik reminded me of a song and I channeled him singing.

It's an old song, called The Happy Song by Liam Lynch. Since I passed my exam I was just minding my own business it took me a second to catch on to the words. 🤣 Lmao now the song is stuck in my head. That asshole gave me an ear worm. He's having a blast as per usual. He's happy that I'm giving him credit. Nah nah he's forgetting I'm alive and I don't have to credit him shit! 🖕😝🖕 Too-de-looo muthafukka....

😘❤️ Night!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

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flameontheotherside · 4 years

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Got a new ring...

I went to a donation place to get some sweaters and pants. I'm noticing some of the weight I gained is starting to fall off. Not fast enough. 🙄😑 Hmmmph...

I wear it on my right hand. Look... It's kind of corny but damnit Im starting to like it SO 😆 DON'T JUDGE ME! Feminine and masculine make PURPLE and my hair is purple and for now it's one of my many favorite colors. Like:

Baby blue and light pink combinations, bergundy, violet and magenta.

😘❤️ Have a great day!

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flameontheotherside · 4 years

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Tremors and Tics

I don't see a point in saying that I have torrets or aknowledge it. No one notices. Well at least I think. My head jerks and I squeek or my whole body does this involuntary jerk. 🤷‍♀️ At least my squeek are cute and it's rare. But when I'm nervous I feel the twitch coming and it makes it worse when I try to stop it. It's kind of funny. It rarely happened when I was home. But when I became homeless and in stress it's more frequent.

Now I'm on this anxiety medication and it's causing tics more frequent. I'm still thinking it's pointless because other than the tic, I don't feel there are other effects. 🤦‍♀️ Eh well I guess I should tell my doctor. It's just very annoying when I'm relaxing, writing, or using my phone 😣 I hit the wrong button and delete shit or go somewhere else. It's was like this BEFORE the medication. Now it's just annoying. Sooooo annoying.

Just as I was typing I almost fucked up.

Erik wants me to go to my Dr appointment. I ditched my last one. 😂 Stubborn me hates appointments and never keeps them. I don't like waiting rooms and sitting next to other crazies. No thank you, kthxbai, I'm staying home. 🙄😑 The whole point of Buspar is to help with anxiety. It's only made it worse because of the increased twitching. Bullshit.

Lynn and I made up and I'm hungry.

😘❤️ Roootie toootie fresh and fruity

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Channeling OTHERS

Sometimes with just a thought:

Oh it's been a while since I heard from_____.

Oh didn't ______ die recently?

Yeah I remember when _______ came through and spooked me.

Like I watched a documentary about Henrietta Lacks. I love history, minority history, science, and biographies. Just love them. Rosetta Tharpe and Henrietta Lacks happened to be the topic of discussion with my roommate and we watched a few videos... Oh I'm sorry, PRESENTATIONS about them. I was corrected. Thank you, Erik for the input from the peanut gallery. 😑 It's always something.

Anyway Henrietta came through and I got in to conversation with her. I'm still learning to not freak out and to practice discernment . Anyway she said her lesson was to provide science with her cells. Well, duh. But not everybody will look at it that way. It's only during that time, things were what they were. By law she had no rights to her own cells. Let's face it. While it looks unjust it isn't. She still got the recognition she deserved. Even still it was selfless of her to provide something so lifesaving. She was contracted to give her life to science. I respect that and I had a nice, pleasent conversation.

I remember while at work, Chester Bennington came through.

... You know what I have to somehow stop thinking or speaking people in to existence. 🤔💭Because I think that's what's happening. I listen to a song, watch a documentary, or just a thought and they barge through. They are nice. They usually say hello, something funny or encouraging and then leave when I ask. They always leave. Thank God. Literally.

But omg is it nerve-wracking when something like that happens! I get all girly 🤩 and shit like a ten year old at a Backstreet Boy concert. Ugh! Erik looooooves making me like that especially in public. 🥰😭 Blushing out of nowhere. How do I explain that?! It makes other people confused. God forbid I'm blushing because Chester is in my head while I'm talking to some bum! 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😑 CLEARLY SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE and I'm sure the peanut gallery finds it hilarious. No, no not funny! Let us not forget the time I ran into his doppelganger. Christ God help me I almost had a stroke. Yes. Yes and it was really not funny at all. I'm still mad about that. 😆 Had me messed up for weeks. I was like:

Retreat, retreat there's a turd in the punch bowl 12 o'clock!

I ran for cover so quick that Vince might say I was there and gone in .5 seconds. When he found me I couldn't speak. I was a mess! Actually it happened around this time TWO YEARS AGO!.... 🤯Damn it's been that long?! Fuuuuuuck. I'm so glad it's not like that anymore.

More often, it's late musicians that want to talk to me. Because music is my life and I'm an awesome musician. Let's just say that. I get a kick jamming with them on my bass. Anyway it's getting late and I'm getting instruction from the peanut gallery that's its time to go to bed. I'm letting a dead guy boss me around. My life can't be any more weird. I need to write that book.

😋❤️ Ya'll stay warm. It's fucking cold, bruh.

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Scored An Interview!

I was hiding in the back upstairs because I wanted to be alone. Yeah I cried my eyes out 😑 because I made a necklace by macrame and wanted to say goodbye. My mom had left. So I was praying that I could get my phone back (I'm using an old one for now) and follow my mom to the better shelter program for me. Over there I share just one roommate and a bathroom with her. Kind of like (hate to say it) a baker-act shelter. They dispense your meds and you are required to go to thier classes, the curfew is 8pm which is nice and I can spend as much time in the dorm as I want. There is a lot more freedom in that shelter than being baker-acted. 😅 I'll take it!

For me it's important to me to have space alone. It kills me here to be around people and watched 24/7. At least when baker-acted no one bothered me if I wanted to sleep all day. I'm PMSing and if I don't get sleep or rest when I need it, I'm cranky AF.

The interview was arranged.

One of the caseworkers begged and advocated for me to go with my mom. So she coached me on what to say but being anxious I'm nervous and will have to see her before the meeting. It's another miracle. I prayed myself in to this program where my mom just left and I've prayed myself an interview which is hard to get. Normally they wouldn't interview me. To be accepted in, you have to show chronic homelessness. I don't have that.

However I am Autistic so I can use my "disability" and claim my mom to be a caregiver. Since I have documented psych history it would be easy especially with the documented meltdowns I've had while here... 😂 Lmao well it kind of works in my favor? I can't handle this environment with my mom. How the fuck am I supposed to do this basically alone?

I don't feel bad for cursing out the nurse while having an attack.

See... *ahem* 😌 when you are having a panic attack. No one can or should make shit worse by being a bitch. The nurse is a bitch and I told her she has been ever since I've been here. She lied on me by saying I'm always asking for a bed pass! 😲 WTF?!... Yeah um I'm not a liar and I don't want to be. This bitch had this smirk and I was shaking and heaving. I tried not to flip a table because of how unreasonable she was.

I'm NEVER like this. This place brings out the worst in me. I don't recognize myself and it's scary. When Im in a more stable environment I'll be better. This place is overwhelming. It's like everyone around me weighs me down. 😝 Like being soffocated or drained to death.

I'm already thinking of what to pack.

Yeah I shouldn't count chickens before they hatch but.... I NEED TO GTFO OF HERE! 😆 Fuck these bitch niggas. These menopausal bitch niggas. 😂👏👏👏 I'm so serious. All they do is talk shit about each other, complain about thier men and jobs, and fight each other over petty shit. Shit as petty as who farts or something stupid.

I learned quick not to even mention the most evil "bedbugs". 😂 There was just TWO of them bitches chilling on my leg. No big deal. I don't care. Just kill it and move on. But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo someone has to jump the gun and go apeshit. 😂🔫 Oh lordy please... Next time I won't say anything about it. Haven't seen any since that one time anyway.

😘💞💕❤ Good night yall!

... Wish me luck! 😆🍀

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Closet

I'm officially moving on the 3rd. Forgot that the 1st is a Saturday so the following Monday I will be discharged. I'm excited to leave but also sad to go. I had no idea how much of an influence I've gathered since being here. Lots have told me how much they miss my mom and that they will miss me! I'm like... Whoa. Seriously?

Popularity is weird as fuck! I don't think much of myself. I'm used to being ignored and treated like some annoying flea lmao 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Oh lawdy lawdy. Well then I would expect a gowing away party like we had for my mom. Mmmkay?! 😂👌 I want vanilla cake with custard filling from Publix and vanilla bean ice-cream. Lmfao!

For the past week I've been told I'll be missed.

Gosh. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Can imagine I'll be insanely bored at the halfway house deep in the most ghetto place in the county. 😵 My ass will not go anywhere except to the store. I have to get rid of the awkward tans I've collected from the group beach outings. It's been a ride and I have to thank my friends for that. My sunburns still hurt.

I've had the opportunity to work with Erik on helping someone out this morning. Was able to do an incredible reading for a woman here. Being how creepily spot on it was I wanted to try it again. It wasn't as earth-shattering but it was appreciated anyway.

Collecting a bunch of dresses/skirts for the hot as fuck weather.

I would wear shorts but noticed a big difference in comfortablility. 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I can air out my _______, and avoid yeast infections! So it's a win-win! 🤣👌 Today I'm obviously a bit shot-out. Finally collected about 800 songs on my phone! The bitch that stole my phone can have it. My new one was FOR FREEEEEE!... And brand new still in the box and better than the one stolen as per Google comparison suggests.

My luck has been pretty good, I can't really lie or pretend I haven't had some cool things happen since becoming homeless. I do hope George knows he's still my friend. I still feel like I shouldn't have said anything to him about being Bragi. 😑

Reason galactic guardians have trouble hearing about who they are...

Is if it were easy, it would miss the point. For example, I'm almost opposite of my higher self (galactic guardian) and it's because I have to learn how to balance dresses with sneakers. Figuratively speaking. If we remained EXACTLY like our true authentic self it defeats the purpose of being incarnated human. Yet we still have them in our hearts. Like our twin flames, we are never without them. They exist with my galactic self or your higher self!

So when I work with other incarnated galactic guardians, they struggle with identifying. They arent awakened, the connections aren't there. However because (twin flames aside) we are without our authenticity. Clues in your life or past lives are in there like Easter-eggs. I've found a ton of my Easter eggs so it's easy to discern between my galactic guardian and myself as incarnated as Monique.

Remember, life is a game or simulation.

Like our higher selves or galactic guardian selves are playing The Sims. They created us and every parallel parts of us experiencing our past and future lives! 😅 Like when we play games like the Sims, they insert pieces of who they are in to each incarnation! If it's confusing, let me know. Sometimes we want to get creative and design an incarnate completely opposite of how they are represented in the "afterlife" or what I like to call, "in the eathers". This is often why I fighter with my higher self (aka galactic guardian) over dresses and sneakers. For those of use who are awakened or awakening it makes us all feel we have lost our mind.... 🤷‍♀️But what's the fun in being "normal". It's all relative anyway.

So we sometimes we don't always incarnate completely represented as our true selves. Again like our galactic guardian or something else. In the end titles don't matter. Our soul or spirit is designed for a purpose. You might feel a certain way about who you are NOW but when you die, it's like: 😅... Wtf was I salty for?! I'm happy being a regular spirit as a veterinarian helping dead animals or something.

I can understand why some people would struggle.

It's hard and confusing if your higher self or galactic guardian doesn't quite mesh with who you are as it's AVATAR created in this life. They are spirits having a human experience. Some people just don't get it, refuse to understand, or think about it too hard. 😑 It creates an unnecessary inner struggle. Trust me I deal with it myself. You're not crazy, but you can make yourself crazy. Is it worth it?

Why would I create myself like this then? Well, if you had all the answers to the test, what's the point in living? If life was easy or how you think your self-entitlement should be, you can't exist. Un/fortunately how you want to look at it, it's a blessing in disquised. Self-entitlement over what you think you deserve is counterproductive. Take the good with the bad. Life is a balancing act.

😘💕❤️ Have a great day yall!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Moving Date Pushed

Overwhelmed, I nearly had about 5 panic attacks. Excited to leave but terrified of the location (in the ghetto), So much to do, sudden change, and stretching myself too thin. I was a little upset about the moving date pushed back to June 1st. Just 2 weeks from my b-day (June 15th, I expect presents! LOL j/k) so that’s great because I heard (...and I hope it’s true) that I can request to have a weekend off. If that’s the case I want to make plans to do something. I have no idea what though without money. -_____-’ Unfortunately working right now on top of everything going on would not help me. I’d have MORE meltdowns.

Well, I’m also not that upset because I need time to mentally prepare myself for the change. It’s a good change though despite the location. I have a spiffy new phone. Surprisingly better than my LG Stylo 4 that was stolen. It was given to me brand new in the box by one of the caseworkers. I’m so happy about that. Guess they felt bad from all the meltdowns I’ve had.

Lemme be clear!

I’ve never had meltdowns so bad. I don’t like feeling vulnerable, confused, changes, and people. LOL xD...I’ve slowly become kind of a complete and total mess and that part of why the caseworkers have helped me get in to a smaller shelter. Once i have my own place and things get back to as normal as it can get, I’ll do much better. I’ve never been push so far past my limits! I’m a home-body. Being away from people is easy because I don’t have to spend as much time figuring them. Chatting or texting makes communication easier....but then again not really because people can still be as confusing.

So with this new step, I’m closer to getting my government assistance checks aka disability. This shelter wouldn’t have accepted me if I wasn’t going to get disability.....at least what I’ve been told. I also hear sometimes you don’t need a medical evaluator. The last times I’ve applied I never had that. So I’m hoping that I won’t have to take some IQ test or answer a bunch of questions. I have a hard time focusing, I don’t feel like being interrogated (hence why I hate seeing therapists), and sometimes I hate the attitude they can have. Especially if they work for the government. Their job is to prove you don’t need to be approved for disability. When people get testy with me, I get irritated and that’s what they will do. Then also, I will FAIL (score less than 100 or test out) the IQ test anyway. I’m serious, I will not be able to concentrate or sit still long enough and will get irritated.

Am I making myself sound bad?

Errrr...I’m really not an asshole or anything. I think people misunderstand me when I’m trying to be honest. I’m sure everyone would hate being asked a ton of questions....*scratches head* But the game of 20 questions, truth or dare and Have You Ever are fun so they don’t count! LOL xD I’m talking about serious tests that require a lot of thinking.

I’m not stupid or anything. ROFL I’m a fucking genius in my own way....Just can’t learn at the same pace as others, sometimes have a hard time reading people. It makes intuition hard too! Thats why I need to use Tarot cards and/or Erik’s help to do my work. Also sometimes people misread me too. Like I might look pissed off but I’m happy as fuck, I can look sad but I’m just fine, or look bored but just distracted but still “listening”. I can’t tell if someone is being friendly without some kind of motive or I think someone has a motive and they don’t. It’s extremely frustrating and it makes me wonder if that’s why all my relationships were so screwed up. It kind of makes me think I’ll never be good enough. Doesn’t mean I give up or anything. It just means I have to suck it up and work harder at trying to understand people.

-____- Which reminds me of therapy.

“...And how does that make you feeeeeeeel?”

Fuck you...LMAO Ain’t no body got thyme fo dat recipie! I came up with that! Don’t you steal that shit! I need to find an Autism Spectrum Disorder specialist. I guess that’s kind of what I had when I was taking the “SPECIAL ED” classes in school. Today in “group” this morning we played this “therapy” game where you play Jenga but according to color you answer or ask a question based on the color the block was you picked up. It’s called “TOTIKA”. If only had an adult or x-rated version. LOL that would be just great. Hahahahah...D-E-D Dead.

Okay okay I’m extremely tired. It’s been a loooooooong week and I haven’t been able to relax. So I need much needed sleep. I guess it’s time to go back to the gym. I’ll do it! I’ve really thinned out. I’m on a new diet of nuts, grains, fruits, vegetables and small amounts of meat, processed sugar and dairy. Like a slice of pizza isn’t going to kill me. Basically a diabetic diet although I’m NOT a diabetic!!!!! That’s just triffling because I’ve been doing very good and have no apparent symptoms of it....Just EXTREMELY REGULAR! I think it might have something to do with all the weight I’m losing. Not that I lost so much but I look pretty good!

Have A Great Day!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Back At "The Place"

I've spent most of my time in the computer lab, had walked back and for twice to the store. So that killed an hour and I'm going to try the "gym" we have here 🙄. People are so inappropriate that some would just stand there and gawk at me. I just know it because they all stare and gawk when I walk past them on the way out. Always:

Where are you going?

Looking good today!

Can I come with you?

🙄 This is so irritating. I told off one of dudes because he was blasting his shitty music at the bus stop. I shouted that no one wants to hear his shitty fucking music. I rather listen to old people music or country music over that mess. Omg then a girl further down said, "Thank you!" 😆👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I haven't been eating the food here which is for the best. However since Jason is working now, it's not like I can just walk all the way to Publix and back. Actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea since I can't go to the REAL gym anymore. I'll have to look in to that.

Been grouchy all day.

However I was able to finally buy a new case for my phone. The one I have is so shitty. The worst I've had and because of that, the glass protector broke but thankfully, 😆🤞🏼 hopefully, the actual screen is fine. I think it's fine. I've never had these issues with a phone. Then again if I consider the emotional and spiritual bullshit... 😒 Mostly emotional because being here, my soul slips away little by little each an everyday.

I need to find out the status on my disability claim. So far I know I'm getting around 800 but they aren't just going to say:

Here you go bitch, you need a break so we are going to get you out of here and here's $800!

... 😑 Being told there's nothing I can really do but play the Waiting Game. Anyone would agree they would lose thier mind like me.

On the upside, I know of at least a few quiet spots like the library.

Quiet people (also nerds) sit in there. Honestly since we aren't really on the same nerdy and spiritual bracket and they are "married"... I'm a little too salty to hang out with them. The chicks husband fucking creeped up and scared me to death. 😳 I nearly had a panic attack and told him to never to do that to me. Especially in this shelter. He apologized but holy fuck I felt my chest hurt!

Then there is the computer lab.

Only useful of you have a set of headphones with you. If the schizophrenic lady is there you will not get any peace. She argues with herself and says things about working for the CIA and being Michelle Obama's sister and how she has 5 airlines. She has a different story every time. 😣 Everyone gets annoyed with her. I wonder what made her that way. She seems intelligent up until she starts bazzar claims and paranoia shit.

There was a guy just like her at the hospital. Except he'd literally talk all day. I really mean that. Walking up and down the hall with stories that made no sense. Shit about his sister got her virginity taken my nealson Mandela, how he scored the metal of honor at 5 years old, arguing with himself about the racial background of some hitman that's after him... I have to wonder if he got cotton mouth from all that. The both of them should get together..... Maybe not. 😆 Lol

I learned after witnessing all that.

Me? Crazy? Fuck no! Not even close. Sure, I talk to Erik but at least the shit makes sense, I don't answer back, and I'm not at all paranoid or think own half the population or singlehandedly took out an army of chubakas. Just saying... 🤷🏼‍♀️

😘💞💕❤️ I love you guys!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Days Go By

😅☝️I've got a routine that works because the days just fly by. Like:

Wake up and do morning shit.

Go for my 30min walk or get breakfast from the store.

Go to "class".

Eat from the cafeteria if no foodstamps and eat small portions. Mostly salad anyway.

Go to the computer lab to download music on my phone. So far got a good 700 of it...

Go to the "Donations Closet".

Go to the gym, visit my mom, grab dinner.

Go back to the campus, do laundry and/or relax in bed, do night routine and talk to Erik.

Go to bed.

The day just flys by so fast. Especially while at the gym.😂 I listen to my music and watch SpongeBob... Yes at the same time 😆

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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A Pile Of Poop

Man! Ive been going ham at the gym. Working out my anger, depression, anxiety and frustration. Got a few nice dresses and dare I say I look fucking fabulous! 😜👌... Yeah like I'll ever wear them. Some days I feel like it now when months before, I would have thrown them in the back of my closet.

I found a sort of strappy bra but it looks like it can pass for a top. It looks pretty fucking cool. It's a small and I need to sew in a part but it's all good.

I can take a weekend off of my birthday...

However I have nothing planned and no money. 😞 It's been a long time since I've done something nice and I'm trying not to sulk over it. I hate birthdays. My age doesn't really show and in some cases I'm mistaken for being 19-25 which is cool. All I have is a cool streak of Grey in the front. Kinda makes me look weird?

I've been in a moody mood. It's 9 days before I move and I should be happy. Since change is overwhelming, I visit my mom at the halfway house and call her up to see how she's doing. Just to see what I can expect so there's no surprises. I learned that if my mom likes anything, it's good and if my mom talks to someone, they are good too. So far it's working for me. However, I'm likely going to stay in my bedroom like growing up 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 with the door closed and my laptop or tablet in my face. It's just safer.

I've been doing things just to make myself happy.

Looking nice and taking care of myself is good and all. However it's kind of an inconvenience. It's tiresome to be "hollered" at. I'm not used to it. I've lived in the suburbs my whole life and now I'm at a halfway house in "the most ghetto part of the county". 😭😭😭😭😭 Guess for the most part I'll have to take out my tomboy shit. I'll have to experiment. Attention isn't what I want. I don't dress for it. I do it because I'm proud of myself. So I've learned from being here not to talk to strangers and to keep away from anyone I have a bad vibe from. Pay attention to red flags. There was a Barney song about that....

Don't get in thier car, don't take anything from them.

Just turn around, and walk away.

Go back and tell a grown up friend.

Omg now it's stuck in my head! I'm done. Holy shit I'm done! 😂🤣😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I'm completely clean: No criminal background , no children, no addictions (food doesn't count), never had an STD, and I'm going to stay this way. 😆 I know my worth and I'm not going to ruin myself over anything petty. Only what scares me is taking my regular walks to Publix (grocery store) or Wal-Mart to get healthy food. It will have to be in the morning or broad daylight like I do here. Since it's an entirely different area I'm deathly afraid. 😖

😘💕❤️ I love all a-yall!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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The What And What

What the fuck is constantly uttered. About 10x tops on exaggeration. I'm being forced to have people explain things to me without some kind of diagram. 😑 I always have a problem with this. I'm used to having printouts or emails from my bosses or whatever. These are the people at the clinic, the dude at the gym explaining the cost and the math (math completely escapes me) and being told this and that, instructions and vocalize directions. I get completely lost. I hear a sentence and that's all I hear. They have carried on about something but I'm lost and stuck on some random sentence all spacey and shit. 😭 Embarrassing. Like being stoned but not even the fun kind of stoned. I'm all like:

Since I'm a visual learner as in I need to see it in writing or described SPECIFICALLY. Otherwise I just fill in the gaps and usually it's nothing good. Im learning to ask for help but I find explaining I'm autistic helps them understand but it makes me embarrassed. I'm extremely talented and intelligent.... 🤣 And Yadda yadda yadda. I know what I'm capable of and I know what I deserve. It's just frustrating. It makes me depressed like I rather crawl back in my cave again. Except no Vince. Erik reminds me I can't be alone forever. I know but I'm moving to a halfway house. I don't think being alone forever is good or healthy. Being the crazy cat lady isn't what I had in mind. Anyway even though I deserve better, I feel undeserving. 🤷‍♀️

It's frustrating to realize that Erik will have killed himself ten years ago.

I keep being reminded of it. I always want what I can't have and what I don't want just stones me to death. Even though I try to look at the positives. It doesn't change the fact he's gone and I'm terrified about what will happen to me. 🤔 Who can I count on? Should I baker-act myself for a whole month?

The whole ten years since he's died, I just let people walk all over me. Say or promise one thing yet either I'm some kind of side bitch, rebound, or "easy" all because I don't really understand. People aren't so forthcoming. Saying let's 🙄 Netflix and chill to me means Netflix and chill. Usually "sex" is far from my mind. Ahem... I have my higher self being to blame. This/she/her, I'm just an avatar and my higher self is the spirit having a human experience. We are all designed this way. And excuse me for being ignorant but it's not hard to understand.

The human side of me constantly fights with my "authentic" or higher self.

Who I call Vanessa just for the sake of, coaxs me out of my comfort zone. Ive developed a nice collection of nice things and bring out my tomboy shit every once in a while. 😅 I try for a balance. I'm well aware of everything, no blackouts, or crazy shit but just like how I don't remember what I ate for dinner last night; let's end on a happy note. 😊🙏❤️

🤣I once bought my first uhhh... Dildo.😆

Lmfaoooooooo! 😆👌 This was months ago. Long story short I forgot about it. Then when I saw the box, Erik roared laughing in my ear so loud I could have fallen over.... Then I remembered and tossed that shit in the back of the closet. Dear God I think my entire head exploded. 🤮 Vince and I never really did the nasteh and I was okay with it. My trifling higher self must have been like,

No, bitch we need to fix this. *click*

There's your entertainment. Sorry this couldn't have been less emo. 😂👆

😘💕❤️ Good nighty night!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Exhaustion

Despite the amount of sleep I got I'm feeling extremely tired and worn out. Maybe even stretched so thin and snapped sometime between the day my mom left and yesterday. 😔 My birthday is in less than a month. The closer it comes, I feel like I may as well be alone.

I miss having Odin in my face every morning sticking his nose in it when I yawn. 🙃 When he kneads my boobs and curls up on my chest. I love when he nudges me out of the way to make space for him. Maybe it's my hormones going off this month or something. What I noticed since my diet changes I'm not as crampy and bloated. I've got a flat stomach but don't look anorexic.

Got in to a fight with a "fat" and salty bitch.

She called me anorexic and a how for absolutely no reason. I was having a conversation about dietary advice. I like to read things online and share information. Out of being helpful, it was a conversation between me and two girls in the dorm. At least what I thought so unless mistaken for being a condescending nosy know-it-all.

So she calls me a anorexic Hoe...

And I ask her what the definition of a Hoe is. As if she's ever read a dictionary. I wanted to pull up the definition but I said: The definition of a Hoe is a prostitute or a single women who sleeps around.

Uuuhhh no, bitch nigga. Last I checked I'm not the one with baby-daddies, a criminal record, STDs and a bunch of kids while being in a shelter!... It lead to her threatening my life of course and she called up some "friend" to complain about me. 🙄 Really bitch? She suddenly can't take care of herself now but says she's, "grown". I'm sorry having children and a hood-rat atitude doesn't make you grown.

Just two weeks and I'm out...

I keep telling myself this and count down the days. 😒 Since it's the weekend I just might catch up on sleep the whole way through.

😘💕❤️ Have a great weekend!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Revised Preface & Introduction

Hey everyone I want to share with you the edits I've made on the blog. It was kind of botherson to look at and got and idea to fix it as a preface and introduction. Thought making these changes would be easier to understand and less "in your face"?

You all know I always tell the truth as much as possible. I don't like to beat around the bush and sometimes forget the politically correctness. Friends tell the truth and those who don't have your real best interest don't! White lies are just as bad as lies.

Anyway, I really love you guys for taking the time to read!

😘💕❤️ Have a great day!

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

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Single Life Is Weird

I left a 7/8 year relationship just 3 months ago. It's so weird. The difference between now and Ten years ago is back then I was dating around (responsibly) and partying (responsibly). Now, I'm pretty straight and although that shit sounds fun. It ain't happening. 😂 I was a totally different person of course. I'm as awkward as they come without a beer in my hand. At least that's how I feel. Back then especially after Erik died, I was always drinking.

😆 Now, I'm a responsible immature adult with a fucking potty mouth 🙃. I have an idea of what my ideal "home" would be like. All new age and hippie like... I would like to have indoor plants or some outside. Always wanted a garden. Like have an apple tree, peach tree (for baking too. I make awesome dutch pies), maybe a pear tree like back in Connecticut. 😍 Grow herbs like rosemary, mint especially for mojitoes, lavender, nettle, etc for making essential oils. I want a service dog (a corgi), and an owl because they are cute and I love the hooting! Have also outside a hammock and a big screened section for the owl.

I wouldn't mind doing the landscaping.

Like getting my hands dirty. I had a babysitter that thought me gardening and I loved every bit of it. Like 🎬 The Secret Garden. I loved how the little girl rebuilt the garden. My favorite part was when her father saw everything in bloom for the first time.

I worry about my depression getting in the way of all of it. When an episode happens everything just goes to shit. Everything. As in no showers, grooming, eating, pets would be taken cared of (duhhh), and shit just gets all fucked up. I worry about being able to care for myself when shit gets hard but I know I can do it. My mom would have come over and take care of me but she's disabled now. I would have no choice. So dreaming big is nice but reality is harsh.

Being single is weird but it's nice.

I can do what I wasn't able to do. Yet at the same time I'm so used to having someone to care (Odin) for that now that I have just myself I feel empty. I couldn't take care of Vince. He was too much. Too needy. So since I'm on my own it's like, 🤷‍♀️? At least I can take care of myself but I find myself helping everyone. I don't mind helping people with thier phones, websites, business ideas or brainstorming, making bracelets, spending my food stamps on people who are hungry, and giving away some of my things.

At least when I have my own place, hopefully I can just get my normalcy or the best I can. Found out my computer was thrown out. My ex destroyed it saying it suddenly had roaches in it (???).... Ummm wtf. I had just installed 2 OSs on separate hard drives, dusted the inside and rearranged the cords. He must had done something to it. That computer was my baby too. I built it. I had everything on it. 🤯 He destroyed it and his dad bought him a new one. His own computer apparently also had roaches which is believable because he's an absolute slob! While he's living comfortably with his parents and my cat, I'm here. I cried like a baby because it's like everything has been ripped from me. All because I wanted a better life without the junkie asshole. I'm pretty sure he beat the living shit out of it to spite me.

😘💕❤️ Good night yall!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

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