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stilemawillow · 1 year

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The Austere Land of You [Eren | Eldian! Reader]

The first moment he laid eyes on you he knew, with such odd certainty, it scared him...

You walked into the hospital room with a familiar air of confidence he had seen before, across a vast ocean in the eyes of his treasured comrades as they charged into battle. That bravery was uncanny for a female of your stature and age, a mere teenager who knew not of true cruelty and the wicked ways of fate. When you arrived at his bedside, however, he caught a glimpse of the Eldian armband and corrected himself for the mistake. Your shoulders were tense and the impassive look of neutrality on your face reminded him of his Corporal as you stood at the foot of his bed, youthfulness shadowed by years of painful experience. Looking closer, he noted the lilac crescents etched deep into the skin beneath your eyes - harsh and cold - so unlike your gentle features it made him scowl. A nurse shouldn't have such eyes.

"The head nurse told me you have amnesia. Do you happen to remember your name?"

"Kruger."

"And how do you want me to address you?"

"... Eren."

"I'm (Y/N) (L/N). We're going to be seeing each other often during your stay."

Your smile was warm but it didn't reach your eyes. Eren nodded in understanding and you asked him if there was something he wanted. A few things came to mind but he was sure you wouldn't be able to acquire them for him. Freedom and justice were abstract concepts he had to procure for himself and others - not earn. You couldn't just fish them from the pocket of your apron, as much as it would've pleased him for that to have been possible. Though most patients were sleeping at this time and you were unoccupied, Eren denied craving anything particular, to which you left the hospital room, only to come back a minute later with a glass of water and another one of those empty smiles he would soon come to dislike. Eren uttered a word of gratitude but never took the water from your hold, forcing you to leave it on the small stool by his bed with a statement that you were going to be just outside and that he should call if he needed anything. He stopped you in your tracks with a question.

"Do you know any fairy tales?"

"One or two. But they're vague and end happily."

"It's what I was hoping for. Better than the morbid atmosphere here."

"A pensive person like you doesn't look like the type to enjoy fairy tales."

"And a weird nurse like you doesn't look like the type to know any, but here we are."

Your chuckle was sweet and quiet, like the faraway crash of the ocean waves or the flap of a bird's wings as it sang. Your short-lived smile failed to reach your eyes once more, proving your immunity to evanescent happiness and amusement. You took a seat on the stool after handing him the water, letting his teal hues observe the purple bruises your dress's long sleeves had failed to hide completely. They adorned your frail wrist's whole breadth, peeking up at him like a dirty secret from under a clean white cuff. Being an Eldian in these ends wasn't an ideal place in the hierarchy because it put you at the very bottom, a step beneath the Marleyan cattle and even their house pets. You were treated worse than dogs just because Marley thought you were devils. Eren had sworn he would change that, but would he get the chance to see your stoic countenance as you nursed his wounds after he succeeded or would he be too late?

"What about a loveless fairy tale?"

"You're a victim of one. It's called reality."

"And you have the audacity to call me pensive."

"I apologise. I've never been on good terms with love."

The following days you'd bring him his meals and engage him in conversations when he seemed in the mood. You endured a beating to bring him a fairy tale book and he took notice of it (the sickening bruises of attempted strangulation and the split lip the attackers gave you were hard to miss), questioning the weird selflessness of somebody who seemed so detached. Feigning idiocy, Eren asked you to read to him and for a week straight you sat on that small stool by his bed, reading with your low melodic voice and briefly pausing every time an empty smile graced your fatigued visage as a result of a commentary on his side. Eren caught you looking at him during those days, mostly when he'd been eyeing your bruises a bit too much. Insecurity wasn't present in your orbs and you never addressed the action, throwing not a single reprimand at his astute hues. The teal in them lacked visible sympathy.

"Could you please fix my pillow?"

"You know you're perfectly capable of doing that yourself, Mr. Kruger."

"Eren."

"Young master."

His chuckle was something you found extremely motivating, beautiful and pleasant to listen to - albeit hoarse and seldom existent. Over the course of this blossoming friendship of yours, you'd heard it no more than three times and each of them had been late into the night after he'd called you in for something stupid - his back was itchy, he'd had a nightmare or he just felt uncomfortable lying awake in a room where death hung from the ceiling like a dreaded reminder of what awaited some of its inhabitants. You'd come padding into the room, a glass of water in your grasp and a disapproving scowl twisting your features, but one look at the unkempt soldier and his apologetic hues would be more than enough to make the reproach prodding at the tip of your tongue slide to the back of your throat in shame.

Careful not to wake somebody, you leaned over and fixed his pillow prior to asking if it was better, to which you received a negative answer and an instruction to adjust the other side as well. You grumbled under your nose in mild dissatisfaction before doing as you were told, which was quite similar to the act of you caging the poor male to the bed. Stunned by the proximity you shared, your brain malfunctioned and forgot why you'd gotten into that position in the first place. The man under you seemed unfazed and it was then you noticed, in the pale moonlight coming from the window with his long hair away from his face for once, that Eren Kruger was very far from being a mister - in fact he was probably no more than three years older than you. His eyes twinkled in the face of your supposed composure - an act that came apart completely when the wounded soldier lifted a big hand to tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear.

You snapped out of your daze and averted your gaze even though you silently longed to admire the colour scheme of his hues some more. Days if they would be given to you. The teal and the turquoise, and those little specks of emerald wandering the depths of his orbs. They could be golden in the sunlight, you speculated dreamily prior to asking if he was comfortable now. He seemed reluctant to voice an answer and when it came it was hardly related to your question at all, keeping you there, shamefully towering over him as the other patients spun in their restless slumber. Eren observed your visage - oddly feminine and vulnerable following the abrupt breach of your defences - with latent curiosity. At that moment he could call you beautiful but he chose not to. It would further add to the brush of colour across your cheeks and earn him one of your infamous glares. But that wasn't what he feared. Because the following night you might not answer when he called and he found that idea infuriatingly unpleasant.

"Nurse."

"Yes, Eren?"

"May I take you out after I leave the hospital?"

"Take me out?"

"To see the ocean."

It was the first time Eren heard sincere laughter leave your lips - it made your eyes light up as the sound rolled off your tongue and rooted him in place, thoughtful and just as hopeful. If he took you to the shore, maybe he could send you across the ocean to Mikasa and Armin and protect you, keep you safe from everything that would happen. If you agreed you'd stay out of harm's way and it would put his mind to rest. When your laughter died down the brown-haired male was still admiring the beamish glimmer in your orbs, thus why he almost missed your small nod. Eyes widening in evident excitement, Eren parted his lips with the intent to speak but his vocal cords went mute when you leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, light as a feather and gentle despite the frown you constantly armed yourself with.

Reflexes taking over, the tan male put a hand on the back of your neck when you were about to part from him and properly aligned your lips for a second kiss. Your surprise was clear but there was no fight in your body. Your tense shoulders relaxed and you tangled your hard-working fingers in his chocolate locks as he grabbed your waist, pulling you closer. You sighed in contentment when Eren's teeth nibbled on your bottom lip, demanding a less chaste kiss you were eager to give. His diminutive growl vibrated against your mouth when you tugged on his hair and he slowly broke the kiss prior to taking your wrist in his hold. Careful not to press the bruises that kept reappearing, the male locked gazes with you and placed a butterfly kiss atop each violet smear visible. The hitch of your breath was loud as you slowly moved back, burning with that happy embarrassment that distinguished a lover's playful gesture from the shameful act of a stranger. Thankfully, a majority of the patients were having their afternoon naps and the rest didn't seem to have paid any attention to you.

Eren let go of your wrist, fingers lingering as he wondered whether to speak or not. His temper would probably get the best of him so he decided he'd keep quiet and wait for your words instead, but you couldn't meet his gaze, having sat back on the small stool by his bed. Your fingertips kept brushing over your lips in a repetitive trance-like motion that seemed to push a number of indecent thoughts to the surface of his mind. He stood up after shaking them off, alarming your dazed self. You handed him his crutch, straight posture hinting at the fact you were waiting for him to start walking so you could follow unless told otherwise. A light huff blew past his lips as he stepped forward and a glance back at your visage was all he needed to see the emotional teenager you rarely let out. A shy smile had graced your gentle features and, though it took him by surprise, he inwardly conceded that smile would've made his fifteen-year-old self fall in love in a heartbeat.

"Will you be watching the Tybur festival?"

"I'll be spying on it from the window."

"What window?"

"My home's window. The stage's going be set up mere feet from it."

"I'd opt for a walk to avoid listening to the nonsense if I were you."

"A walk?"

"But not in the vicinity. Propaganda travels far. So go further."

Out of the hospital and out of your life, or so Eren had secretly hoped as he finally put his carefully thought-out plan into action some days later. He uttered a final inward prayer prior to transforming and it was the last coherent thought you occupied in his mind for the following few minutes until his gaze caught sight of your form a few streets away, watching the fight with a horrified expression that, for the umpteenth time, didn't manage to reach your cold eyes. You watched his titan form, with its bleeding jaw and broken teeth, and the sheen in its big eyes and you knew. You watched it (this despicable monster you were supposed to hate on sight - him) clutch Willy Tybur's sister and gnaw at the crystal surrounding her with chilling composure, but the moment the Jaw Titan attempted to attack him from the back your eyes widened in concern and your lips parted though you realised he wouldn't hear you. Eren turned, slamming the attacker into the nearby building after the Corporal had disabled his onslaught and he knew a little something of his own. Something he'd known since the beginning.

He was in and done for.

...

The last time his orbs settled on your figure he also knew, in a way even better than before...

Weeks of worry and nightmares had left their imprint on your gentle features. Eren would never understand the worry had been for him. He'd never know the sleepless nights and the faded tear stains had been for him. And while those facts might forever stay out of his reach he knew another thing - where to find you at all times. So he walked into the hospital with his two functioning legs, no facial hair and that determined though emotionless gaze that seemed to make him more humane, knowing you'd be there, tending to somebody else's needs like you'd tended to his. Your first reaction to seeing him step into the room was something he'd always remember - a tired frown deepening in realisation as the ice in a pair of cold eyes cracked and tumbled down sunken cheeks.

"I thought you wouldn't come back."

"I thought you wouldn't talk to me."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"I really don't. I don't know."

You didn't have much time with him and it wasn't something you needed to hear in order to understand. You told your current patient to lie back down and try to rest as you left the building, silently walking after the tense brunet. He stopped at the exit and you stepped back, fearfully glancing up at him as he turned to face you. He noticed the sunken cheeks and the deepened lilac crescents, and the crease in the middle of your forehead as you knitted your eyebrows at him, but didn't address them. He stood there, fervently observing and memorising every part of you his orbs had access to and inwardly hating himself for thinking you no less beautiful than all other times he'd had the honour to lay eyes upon your visage. Then he saw the first tear. Quick to comfort you, Eren moved forth and cupped your cheek so gingerly it seemed to make you cry even harder.

"... it's Jaeger. Eren Jaeger."

"Which of my names do you favour more?"

"The real one. It has a certain ring to it."

"I've come to learn it sounds better when you say it."

A wavering smile kissed your lips as you met his bright gaze, twitching fingers relinquishing their hold on your white dress and instead hesitantly ghosting over the male's strong jawline, clenched in self-restraint. Eren visibly leaned into their warm touch with a small gulp as your tears gradually ceased cascading over your moist skin. A wishful breath slipped past the cage of your punctured lungs as the male stepped forth, cupping your face with both his hands and pressing a loving kiss to your forehead - desperate and burning with equal parts of pain and want. Your hands dropped to his chest and one happened to rest over his heart - hammering so loudly against his ribcage that it started sounding like human speech to you. Eren pressed your foreheads together and you cursed this whole situation before looking into his eyes, so emotional and in so much pain it made your windpipe constrict. Only if you could do something to help him.

"I never understood the look in your eyes."

"I know. But I understood the look in yours, Eren. I still do."

"Tell me what it means then. I seem to have a hard time deciphering it on my own."

Eren expected a snarky retort. He expected slight reproach and some motherly scolding, some true statements and a little bit of explanation. Maybe the smile you'd crack would reach your eyes in that endearing manner that always made his heart skip a beat or maybe you'd caress his face with your warm fingers as you spoke in a soft voice of how oblivious he was, how oblivious he'd always been. For you he was. But he was also unprepared for what you truly did. He was unprepared for the kiss, for the abrupt tug at the collar of his white shirt, unprepared for how good your hot lips felt against his own and the blissful feeling it filled his whole body with. The following minutes could be described using a few words - simple and prosaic but appropriate as could be.

Inexperienced: applicable to both of you, its existence didn't stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck as he lifted you off the ground effortlessly. Sloppy: the sound of lips smacking and teeth grazing didn't alert any nurse or patient in the building, you were in a world of your own as his hands creased your uniform and yours made a mess of his hair. Passionate: hardly anything a pair of teenagers could stray from, you felt your heartbeat speed up as Eren held you close - so close you felt every breath leaving his body so it could mix with yours. Desperate: fate, fights and rules didn't matter when he could feel you against himself, so warm and alive, so beautiful and tired, so lovable and loving, you were melting in his arms and he was intoxicated by the fresh smell of flowers in your hair and the sweet taste of tea on your lips, so smitten it was borderline ridiculous.

"I want to keep you safe."

"Lock me away then, Eren Jaeger. And come back for me when you win."

The look in his eyes was quite eloquent as to what he had in mind. He would do just that. He'd come back for you and you'd welcome him into your embrace as a victor - a monster so engrossed in protecting humanity it had neglected its own. He'd lock gazes with your austere hues and you'd smile one of those empty smiles of yours, and as you'd lean in to kiss his dry lips it would fill with that type of unhidden adolescent love Eren denied ever having witnessed. His bloodied hands would hold your small figure and you'd smile for him - a smile that could encompass all the stars in the sky and all the freedom in the world. You'd be free to do whatever you wanted, no longer labelled as devils and beaten like street mutts. The fantasy was vivid and beautiful, almost as beautiful as you. Eren felt your hands squeeze his. Your pants were fanning his face, bodies standing close as he left the imprint of his desperate need for you all over, kissing where tears had fallen, smiles been seldom shown and eyebrows knitted. Everywhere he could reach.

"I'll be back in a bit then."

It was useless to ask you to wait for him because he knew you would, even if he told you he wouldn't come back for weeks. Eren watched you glide down your white dress as his hands worked on his hair - combing it with his fingers and tying it with the small rubber band that had stayed in your hold after you'd tangled your digits in his locks. You spied the action out of the corner of your eye, with a worried expression that differed from your neutral frown only because you didn't normally furrow your brows that intensively. Your pout was visible as Eren exhaled a shaky breath, determination to leave wavering at the sight of your watery eyes. But you encouraged him, stepping closer and letting one of those empty smiles kiss your lips. The genuine one you'd leave for his safe return, along with the tears streaming down your face. You tip-toed to kiss him one last time, lips lingering as your eyelids fell closed and he revelled in the sound of your wistful sigh. Your gazes locked and you both knew two vastly different things which came down to one and the same statement, echoing in the hospital's hallway. It was the final verdict of your unrealistic wishes.

He'd fight fate itself if it meant this wouldn't be the last time you kissed him.

#eren jaeger fanfiction #eren x reader #eren jaeger #Eren Jaeger Imagine #reader insert #x reader #snk x reader #eren is hot and out of character but this IS NOT fanon eren #fiy never fanon eren #fanon eren is a hoe #this one is traumatised and can't enjoy his hormal period properly #but happy birthday to him nonetheless #i love this guy so much i wish him all the best and if real men were like this... well...#call me britney bitch because i do be in love with a criminal

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romiantic · 9 months

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YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME !

NOW PLAYING…circus by summer walker

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME, you love him but does he love you like you do?

INCLUDING hawks, pro-basketball player!aomine, singer!eren

READING: black!fem!reader

GENRE + WARNINGS: angst + suggestive, toxic nigga behavior from all characters

A/N: this was a very old wip I found which I gained a lot of motivation to write :). also eren is supposed to mirror drake in his part, I feel like fanon eren is drake in a different font 💀

HAWKS, the #2 pro-hero, the man who sends away smiles at fellow citizens and takes pictures with cheery children. The man who had girls squealing and wishing to be in his “entourage”. Just one night with the handsome man and they’ll be satisfied with life, maybe some money as well. Though, they don’t know that it’s the same man who had your head spinning like a damn wheel, wondering day in and day out why you are still trying to put effort into something that you don’t even know will work. But…he convinced you otherwise; giving you bouquets of flowers when he comes home, good morning texts, sweet loves by the night. If all this he does/gives to you, why aren’t you together? What’s stopping you two from an official label?

He pushes it off, he keeps saying he’s not ready. He doesn’t think he can juggle being a pro-hero with a girlfriend. Such a ridiculous and stupid reason but when you tried to talk yourself out of it, you were convinced by sweet talks that he needs you and you know your heart yearns for him. You couldn’t break his heart by leaving, could you?

AOMINE isn’t the best at displaying his love for you but he tries, rarely. He has stated himself that he isn’t really a lover boy but in his heart, he knows that you both belong together. He just can’t find it in himself to show you. Especially with the glitz and glamor of being an all star basketball player, love for him may not be suitable. Well, publicly being in love, to be exact. The blogs, the allegations, the scandals, it would all be too “out there” and Aomine has a very private life to abide by. Being famous and having people invested in his life is one thing but allowing his lover in the spotlight? Nah, he wouldn’t do that to her.

But then again, the gifts he buys you remind you that he still thinks about you and loves you dearly. The dainty bracelet from Chanel, the bouquet of roses he leaves on your nightstand, the occasional messages he sends, they all mean some sort of value. Even if the man who sends them isn’t ready to push his love further like you want it to be.

EREN, everyone’s favorite certified lover boy with the voice as comforting as the blues but the lyricism of an aching heart. Quite odd considering that the amount of love he displays to the world, mostly his fans, you don’t tend to see it? A questionable trait for a man whose songs are about girls who have treated his love like a used rag, but yet he has the similar traits to said girls. He sings constantly about wanting to be loved in a way that makes him feel unstoppable, safe, and comfortable but he rarely shows that with you. To make matters worse than they are, he would say that what y’all have is nothing too serious so why take it serious?

Though, the male singer will always remind you of how much he loves you when it’s just the two of you. You’ll always remember after his shows when the room is hot and full of his “love” with steamy kisses and bodies tangled up in this so-called “love” he wants to claim.

⭑ shoutout to tia for proofreading, thank you twinnnn 🫶🏽

⭑ *gasp* mia doesn’t write something spiderman for once 😱

⭑ lemme know which was y’all fave to read !

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: Ephesians 2:4-5

MAIN MASTERLIST

#* 💭🎧 ⌗ 𓏲 „ ˋmia is writing !#x black reader #x black!reader #anime x black reader #anime x black!reader #hawks x black reader #hawks x back!reader #aomine x black reader #aomine x black!reader #daiki aomine x black reader #daiki aomine x black!reader #eren x black reader #eren jaeger x black reader #eren jaeger x black!reader

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theragethatisdesire · 8 months

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SORRY SORRY I MISSED THE SLUMBER PARTY I was writing LV hopefully im not too late to ask what's going on in my head bc i NEED to know ur thoughts.....

1. thoughts on porco galliard,, if you like him if you don't IDK just anything

2. THOUGHTS ON ARMIN!!! 💓💓 (im actually in love with him so hard he's my fav)

3. would you ever write a female character x reader?? (I want to but idek if ppl read that)

4. did you always like Eren bc I genuinely have not seen the vision yet...canon, that is

UGH I'm so sorry if that's too much im just so pissed i missed the slumber party!! also hope youre feeling better seriously 💕💕

HEY SHEPPIE no dont apologize we're making it a full-weekend sleepover at this rate i'm going to be getting home earlier from work and having trouble resting for a few days so i'm just....hanging around constantly LOL

okay....i think this is a hot take, but i think porco is hot. i LOVE a man with a temper, what can i say?? most ppl talk about him negatively but i just love him lol not necessarily canonically but he's so cutie to me

i ADORE armin in the show, like i think his mind is so interesting and the way he works and i don't view him as the innocent little lamb i think he gets portrayed as. fic-wise though....i just can't do it like i'm so sorry lmao something about him (whether it be that they draw him to look literally 12-15 years old for most of the show or that he has a very feminized voice and that's just not my personal thing idk) i can't write or read for him. i love him, but just not in that ~way~

i honestly don't know if i would. i don't read it, i don't interact with it too much (i'm literally bi so idk why???) but yeah, i'm not sure!! it's a never-say-never thing, but it's not on my radar for now.

really it was the hoodie scene from the season 4 opening. LMAO actually i was a huge reiner and levi girl initially (still am)! like it took me awhile to get into eren, and i kind of fell in love with his canonical self before i did his fanon self bc his story truly is so tragic and i just love that and once i found out where we are headed in the show it just broke my heart and made me really feel for him!! now he is my baby girl so that's that

so many questions sheppie thank you for giving me something to do with my last bits of freedom before work!!! ily <33

#rage.rambles #i also feel like i can't even explain how i got into eren bc #it was like one day i woke up and was like wait #that's my husband #slumber party #shep.moot

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welcome-to-the-gay-bar · 3 years

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So I we started to watch Attack on Titan again after many years and I’ve just finished season two and before starting season three I wanted to take a trip down memory lane and look at all my old favourite AOT fan fictions from 2014 (and see what’s popular nowadays that I may have missed, since wow, a lot has changed since I was last present in this fandom and compared to what’s happening in the current episodes season one was tame).

I’ve noticed a huge divide between fanon and canon and I kinda wanted to ruminate on this a bit.

Eren’s character in the show isn’t my favourite. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still fond of this brash idiot, but he’ll never be my favourite. He falls into this shonen protagonist trope of being hot headed and ill tempered. He doesn’t take advice, he’s not going to listen to plans or authority, he always thinks he’s right and only follows his moral compass, and to tie it all up he’s not even that strong. He can’t back up the threats that he’s laying down and yet he always rushes into situations with fists flying and never thanks or appreciates the characters (Mikasa) that get him out of those tricky situations. The only way to get through to him is to physically beat him down and even then it may not work if he hadn’t already somewhat respected you (Mikasa again). This character type is seen so often in shonen and I’m really not a fan, I like the cool and calculating protagonist better. Someone who has the power behind their threats and doesn’t rush into situations. Again, I like Eren, but I think it’s the other characters in the show that balance him out and the plot itself that makes me like Attack on Titan.

Compare this to fanon where his default character is happy ray of sunshine who’s a little bit naive. It’s a rather jarring comparison but I also don’t necessarily dislike it either. To me canon and fanon characteristics are almost completely seperate. If I had to always think a d compare fan fiction to canon I probably couldn’t read it. I read about happy fanon Eren and see canon angry Eren and to me they are two completely different characters - two completely different people even. If I had to read fan fiction about canon Eren I can 1000000% say that I just wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I’d be totally bored. As I said before, I like Eren but it’s the people around him and the plot itself that makes him bearable. I can watch a show about him because it takes less time and emotional energy, but I couldn’t invest in reading a book about him (which is why I haven’t read the manga either).

This isn’t even exclusively towards Attack on Titan. Back in my Teen Wolf phase I noticed how different canon and fanon characters were. Small secret - I was knee deep in the Teen Wolf fandom before I realised that I hadn’t actually watched an episode of Teen Wolf. One of my mutual’s reblogged TW artwork that was linked to a story and from that I never looked back. When I actually did get around to watching TW I can honestly say I was more than a wee bit disillusioned. Derek and Stiles are obviously not the main characters and I was prepared for that, but then they barely interacted, and when they did interact it was nothing like what I had read about - nothing like what their fanon characters or interactions were like. I can honestly say that I never made it past the first season - the show just wasn’t for me - but I was still thoroughly invested in the fandom for another year or two.

Something about fanon Sterek dynamics just did it for me, their characters and relationship was just so on point for what I wanted, and this is kind of when I came to accept that canon and fanon can be so different that it almost feels as if it’s two pieces of completely different media. I mean, fanon has its own set of rules, it’s own character tropes and story arcs that even completely different authors with completely different stories somewhat instinctively know to follow. I think that’s amazing, but it’s also a double edged sword. See these first two examples were of shows that I A) never watched/finished before reading fan fiction, B) don’t necessarily love love the characters in canon. That means that fanon is more appealing because it takes something I don’t care too strongly for and changes it to something more appealing. But what about when fanon takes something I love and cherish and remoulds it?

I want to briefly take this time to talk about something I’ve dubbed “the twink affect”. When you take a character that’s originally strong willed, self sufficient, and somewhat masculine and you pair the, up with someone EVEN MORE strong willed, self sufficient, and masculine - the “Alpha male” of characters if you will. I find that fanon is incapable of seeing two strong men together in a relationship and will eventually slowly twinkify one of them. Make them smaller, softer, lonelier, less self sufficient and more reliant on others, they need to be taken care of, they’re now a ball of sunshine that’s radiant and joyful, they’re cotton candy that melts on your tongue. You put them next to the pairing you ship them with and instead of seeing two strong men you see a bear and a twink. That’s definitely what’s happened to the two characters/pairings mentioned before and I honestly didn’t mind because I wasn’t protective of the source material, but when it does happen to a character I love it’s the most frustrating thing in the world, and I can’t even complain because I’ve already reaped the benefits from other fandoms. (I am going to complain though, this is my blog and I can do what I want mum.)

I’m going to talk about Mo Dao Zu Shi. Beautiful story that I love in (almost) all its various adaptations, but I’ve noticed the ever slow changing of fanon’s Wei Wuxian. For anyone reading this that hasn’t read MDZS (or if anyone’s reading this at all, I am expecting to just be shouting into the void at this point) Wei Wuxian dies - not a spoiler, it happens at the very beginning of the story - and comes back to life in the body of Mo Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu is small malnourished and twinky - he even canonically wears makeup (or at least has it in his possession, I’m getting the various adaptations confused and I can’t remember if in canon Wei Wuxian woke up in Mo Xuanyu’s body already wearing the makeup or if he just finds the tin of makeup in Mo Xuanyu’s possessions). Wei Wuxian’s character is also a bit of a tease, and now he’s alive and unburdened by the past he’s much freer now than he was in the past, couple that with the fact that he’s pretending to be Mo Xuanyu (a character who is rumoured to be gay and also a bit insane) he goes all out in pretending to be a shameless flirt, and it’s honestly hilarious, I love his character. So in a sense he has all the makings of a canon twink and I’m really not here to shame on those who portray him that way while he’s in Mo Xuanyu’s body.

My personal issue is with the same extreme twink portrayal while he’s in his original body. In his original body Wei Wuxian is BUFF. He’s hunky, he’s in the top five most eligible bachelors, he’s *car honks* woof woof bark bark *whistles* puurrrr, he’s one of the most powerful cultivators of his generation, he’s a genius too. He’s hunky. He still has the cheeky shameless character, but when you compare him to the male lead Lan Wangji, they’re about the same size and strength. My favourite type of fan fiction in MDZS is fix it/everybody lives nobody dies/no war/etc etc. Basically stories where Wei Wuxian keeps his original body. The fanon twink portrayal of him being so small and soft and weak while in canon he’s one of the strongest and smartest urks me in ways I can’t explain. It’s not what I want, not what I’m looking for. I love him for who he is in canon and to see his character so distorted by fans of the original work is frustrating. I just want to read about Wei Wuxian as a jock with his equally buff and tall nerd boyfriend.

I want to pause here and say that I have nothing against authors that write him in a twinky way, I respect your work and your characters (and as I said before I’ve reaped the benefits of other fandoms twinky character portrayals numerous times), if I read a fic that I’m not happy with the characterisation I just close the tab and move on so absolutely no hate to anyone who enjoys this character type. I’m just ruminating on the fact that I’ve been seeing it happen more and more often lately to the point where I’ve kind of bounced the fandom and am sticking to other works like Scum Villain that haven’t yet twinkified too much (there will always be one or two stories in every fandom that twinkify and honestly? I respect that. Authors said twink rights ONLY, good for them).

Mo Dao Zu Shi isn’t the only fandom I’ve been in that I’ve negatively reacted to fanon. Another one would be Batman (I love Tim with all my heart and I love him getting treated nicely but damn I sometimes wish people would remember how freaking strong and amazing he is too), 2Ha is another I’ve started to see “twinkified” (although I don’t mind seeing Chu Wanning being soft and taken care of, he is canonically called handsome and masculine and he’s quite tall too), I’ve even seen the canonically “top” character (and that seems so weird to write oml) be twinkified by fandom because they want to see him get bottomed for ~equal rights~ because apparently bottoming is seen as a “woman’s position” to them and they’re trying to be woke by switching the sexual positions up but failing to see how misogynistic and homophobic that take is (imma stop myself here because that a WHOLE ‘nother can or worms to be opened right there).

What I’m trying to say is fanon is a double edged sword and I’ve definitely enjoyed some and hated some. I think it’s important to seperate the two. I do think it’s annoying for fandoms to be flooded with mischaracterisation when you actually do like the original characters and I wish there was some way to seperate fandom into “actual canon fans” and “fans of fanon”, but I don’t have a solution and I’ve definitely contributed to the problem in the past so for that I’m sorry.

I don’t know how to end this long ass rant, I don’t know what the goal was in writing this, but taadaa ~ here’s my exceptionally long take on fanon.

#rant #I don’t know if I should tag the fandoms mentioned in case I wake a sleeping bear #but I’m going to do it anyway in case someone has the tags muted #mdzs #aot fanfiction #AOT #mo dao zu shi #fanon #ao3 #attack on titan #ereri #wei wuxian

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geckomoon · 4 years

Text

Sexy/Pretty snk Character Tag game!

Okay so @eykonto tagged me to do name the top 10 prettiest and top 10 sexist characters in snk and dispite being ace as all hell, I have opinions and I'm about to share them. Woo.

10 prettiest

Historia Reiss (I may be a little obsessed with her but you can't tell me she isn't gorgeous)

Sasha Braus (she's adorable y'all)

Erwin Smith (He's literally a poster boy for what an 'attractive male' is don't @ me)

Ymir (hear me out, she may not be what most people class as attractive but the scene where she's on her own looking at the sky, god my heart stopped)

Furlan Church (He's a damn cutie pie)

Frieda Reiss (I don't know where the Reiss kids got their looks grin because it clearly wasn't Rod)

Mikasa's Mum (that's a pretty mum right there. She'd be the mum in the school playground that everyone falls for and you can't tell me I'm wrong)

Isabel Magnolia (hilarious and gorgeous)

Jean Kirstein (pre-timeskip, I have yet to get used to the mullet) (listen, I know the whole horse face joke is a thing, but he's genuinely pretty attractive and he probably knows it and milks it because that's the kind of person Jean is and I'm here for it)

Levi Ackerman (yeah yeah, we were all expecting this one. He's got a pretty face, that's all I'm saying)

And now

Top 10 hottest (finally I get to be biased)

10. Yelena (I don't like her much but mmmm)

9. Hanji/Hange Zoe (they scare me a bit at times but still, look at them, LOOK AT THEM)

8. Pieck Finger (do I really need to explain, she's just so darn pretty)

7. Mikasa Ackerman (again, I'm not exactly Mikasa's biggest fan, mainly because she needs a personality that isn't just 'eren this, eren that' (yeah, come at me, I don't like one of the main trio) but she's got a cute face and muscles and I'm a lesbian so let's put 2 and 2 together here)

6. Isabel Magnolia (reiterating the point that Isabel is criminally underrated and I miss her)

5. NANABA!!!!!! (gives me hot lesbian mum vibes and I stg that's all I need in my life)

4. Annie Leonhart (another character I'm not keen on the personality of, except fanon Annie, fanon Annie is the best Annie, but she hot)

3. Frieda Reiss (her eyes, HER EYES)

2. Hitch Dryese (she's basically a meme queen and she's attractive as all hell. Give her more attention, I demand it)

1. QUEEN OF THE LESBIANS (and the walls) HISTORIA REISS. (If you hwve been on my bolg for more that 20 seconds and you're surprised by this, why? She's been my favourite since 2016 and I refuse to stop loving her no matter what happens. Seriously, I'm basically a Hisu love bot at this point and I regret nothing).

Well thanks to @eykonto for tagging me and allowing me to give you my objective and not so objective rankings of the attractiveness of fictional characters.

I'm not tagging anymore because i don't know enough people on this website to do so.

If you disagree with me, come tell me why, Jk, all options are valid. :)

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #jean kirstein #krista lenz #sasha braus #ymir #hanji zoe #Nanaba #hitch dreyse #Frieda Reiss #historia reiss #erwin smith #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #annie leonhart #pieck snk #yelena snk #isabel magnolia #furlan church

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animentality · 6 years

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Levi is not THAT (level) of a mentor like wtf... he just mentioned a little thing about being an ackerman. Said a few words to eren. The smiled. Did his job at stabbing Zeke thought the face like a boss. The only mentor shit i get in the series is Annie teaching eren. That's it. Not even erwin to armin. That's all fanon ideas.

YEAH WELL when wit studio decided to animate his manga, they knew it was a SHONEN STORY ABOUT A YOUNG MAN’S DREAM TO ELIMINATE HIS ENEMIES AND AVENGE HIS MOTHER so they gave him his hot girlfriend who’s obsessed with him and wears the red scarf of fate/ designated love interest and a wimpy genius friend who’s just there sometimes and only gets focus when we need expositional dialogue.

and then you get cool guy who’s pretty much untouchable, only ever getting hurt when someone else fucks up, and he’s accepted by the fandom as the super cool and quirky mega genius gary sue male insert character, and you just know, he’s going to be every 14 year old boy’s icon for the first year snk is out, and you know what?

he’s the most popular.

he’s a fishing net.

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julystorms · 7 years

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Do you think bickering indicates "sexual tension"? I see this argument in a Lot of ships (Levihan included) and it doesn't make sense to me. Maybe because i'm ace and have never associated my irritation with another person with me wanting to bang them. Sorry for a silly question, lol.

It’s not a silly question at all.

I’m ace, and I play-bicker with my husband all the time.

But I think the important thing to think about when you’re looking at the “bickering couple” trope is whether or not it’s fun, playful back-and-forth, or just plain arguing.

Is a character genuinely upset, hurt, crying? It’s not cute bickering.

Look, Petra and Auruo pretty much fit the bill for the bickering couple trope. The only thing she ever seems upset about is that he acts like Levi and she doesn’t think he needs to do that: she just wants him to, you know, be himself. Even then their discussions don’t really make me feel like she’s genuinely angry with him; she’s just a bit frustrated with him insisting on trying to change who he is. Outside of that, things like him calling her his “naggy wife”–that comes off playful. He doesn’t actually think she’s naggy or his wife; he’s just looking for some kind of…mental stimulation. I guess you could call it a kind of playful adult teasing–the kind a lot of adults do with their friends where no hard feelings are ever meant and certain topics are unspokenly agreed to be off-limits.

For a comparison, Eren and Jean don’t play-bicker. Neither do Jean and Sasha. When they start in on each other, it’s genuine: somebody’s upset/angry or trying to push a lesson on the other. Tempers are flaring. These are arguments and won’t end in an eyeroll.

Levi’s “shitty-glasses” is probably meant to be kind of playful but I don’t think the ship is, in itself, supposed to fit into the “bickering couple” trope box. Levihan as a bickering couple is fanon–at least to the extension it’s often written as. It’s also fandom taking what’s really funny in Sophie’s art and trying to apply it to the characters in writing and…it doesn’t seem IC (at least imo).

Anyway, once you can understand and spot the difference between playful banter and what is genuine arguing, you can decide for yourself what ships are actually employing the “bickering couple” trope and which ships fandom’s just fucking delusional about. Because arguing =/= sexual tension. There’s nothing hot and sexy about someone pissing you off. Well, unless you have a specific kink, but I honestly hate that being normalized. Sorry, there’s enough fucking media out there in the wild where a man gets up in a woman’s face and threatens her and it’s spun as this wild hot sexy fantasy. In most of our realities it’s just fucking terrifying. :))

Anyway, you have to judge the difference between these two things for yourself. At first glance they can see the same, but you have to look for certain signs to determine whether or not they’re genuine arguments or not. What makes it harder is that “bickering couples” still do have actual arguments…because everybody does. It’s just that you have to look at the vast majority of their arguments to decide: are these silly and the characters don’t actually seem to be legitimately bothered by it? If so, probably a bickering couple trope being employed.

Remember:

Legitimate bickering is arguing: characters are upset, angry, hurt. It’s not sexy and doesn’t indicate sexual tension. I wish people would stop doing this because it’s just an awful thing to try and teach young people. You need to be sensitive to when others around you aren’t having fun anymore.

Playful bickering is for-fun and for a lot of people, kind of a mentally-stimulating exercise. That doesn’t make it sexual tension; that depends on the characters and how you view their relationship to one another. Like I said, I do this with my husband and my friends, but I’m ace, so...there’s no sexual tension involved. It’s just fun to do sometimes. :)

#i just woke up from a nap so i hope this makes sense #snk hour with july #snk #cute anons #replies to friends

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