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javierpena-inatacvest · 5 months

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Uh-Oh

Summary: Javi's Girl Dad skills get put to the ultimate test when your oldest daughter gets her period and you're not home to help her

Word Count: 2.9K

Pairing: Dad!Javi x Wife!reader (No use of y/n)

Warnings: Periods/getting a period for the first time, Javi being the ultimate Girl Dad, the Peña girls being the queens of sass, teamwork makes the dream work, just cute, sweet fluff 🥺😭

A/N: We all know that Girl Dad! Javi lives rent free in my brain, and as I was buying more tampons for myself today my brain went "Oh my god... could you imagine if Osita wasn't home when Lucy got her period and Javi, Elliot and Harper had to try and help her until Osita got home?" 😂😩 And of course, our elite girl dad would do anything he needed to in order to step up and make sure that his lil girl was okay 😭 This was also super fun to write because I feel like the girl's spunky personalities really shine through in this one 💀

Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist

“Mom? Mooommm?!”

“Why do you need Mom?” Elliot responded to her older sister, Lucy, frantically calling out for you from behind the bathroom door.

“I just- I- Will you please just go get Mom, okay?! I really need her.” Lucy sighed, panic filling her voice with every passing second it took for her sister to answer her request. Normally Elliot wouldn’t have been so quick to comply without haggling to negotiate a favor on her end, but even the 11 year old could sense the pure terror in her older sister’s voice.

“Fine, fine.” Elliot huffed, making her way to her other sister’s room down the hall, pushing open Harper’s door to rally her for support. “Harper. Go help me find Mom.”

“Why?” Harper asked, giving her sister a confused look as she set down the stuffed animals she was playing with on her bed.

“Because, Lucy sounds like she’s having a mental breakdown in the bathroom and she needs mom’s help.”

“Do you think she pooped her pants?!” Harper looked at Elliot with a disgusted and confused grimace on her face, the girls pausing for a moment to shake their heads in horror at the potential current state of their sister.

“She did sound really upset… I don’t know Harps, just go look for Mom, okay?!”

The girls quickly split, Harper taking the rest of the rooms upstairs while Elliot sped down the stairs to see if you were anywhere on the first floor.

“Mom?! Mommy are you down here?!”

After many years of raising 3 girls under the same roof, the two of you had learned how to tell the difference in your girls’ tone to distinguish what they wanted you for- Tattling, excitement, annoyance, you and Javi had pretty much heard it all. But the way that Elliot was calling out for you immediately caught Javi’s attention.

Someone was in big trouble.

“What’s up, El?” Javi called out wearily from the living room, lowering the volume on the TV as his daughter came speeding in, fear flooding her face.

“Where’s mom?!” Elliot demanded, looking around the room for any sight of you. Her worried tone quickly had Javi up and off the couch, scrunching his brow at Elliot in concern at what kind of trouble the girls had gotten themselves into that they were so frantically looking for you.

“Mom’s at the store. What’s going on?” Javi asked again, trying to keep even keeled, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared down at his daughter.

“I don’t know, I swear! Lucy just kept calling for Mom from the bathroom. She sounded really freaked out, though. Harper and I think she shit her pants.” Elliot replied, holding up her hands in defense to rid herself of any potential blame, trying to keep from giggling at her last sentence.

“Elliot Marie.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes at her. “You said she’s in the bathroom?”

Elliot nodded, giving a little shrug for her lack of clarity around her sister’s current circumstances. Letting out a little sigh, Javi reached over for the remote on the couch, turning off the TV before making his way up the stairs to find out what in the world was going on.

Javi, Elliot and Harper now found themselves gathered around the outside of the bathroom door in confusion, Javi gently tapping on the door before speaking. “Hey Lucy, it’s me. What’s goin’ on, bud?”

“Where’s Mom?!” Lucy replied, sounding like she was trying her best to hold back her sobs, muffled from behind the bathroom door.

“She’s at the store right now, babe. What’s going on?” Javi asked again, looking down at Harper and Elliot who were looking back up at him, the 3 of them perplexed as to why Lucy was so distraught.

“Did you poop your pants?!” Harper shouted, trying her best to ask seriously, although the two girls on the outside of the bathroom door couldn’t help but snicker to themselves. Javi groaned, rolling his eyes at Elliot and Harper, taking his hand to shoo them away, silently mouthing “Seriously?! Go play.” as the girls scampered away in a fit of giggles to Elliot’s room, leaving just Javi outside the door, waiting for a response.

“... I really need Mom.” Lucy choked out through her tears as Javi leaned against the door, running his hand over the back of his neck in a mix of bewilderment and frustration until his realization hit him like a ton of bricks, his face going ghost white in terror.

Lucy got her fucking period and you weren’t home.

Javi could feel himself physically starting to sweat in panic trying to figure out what the hell to do. Even if he called you to come home, you probably still weren’t going to be back for another 45 minutes, and he wasn’t going to let his daughter sit in the bathroom horrified and alone until you returned. Letting out the deepest sigh he could muster, Javi knew his only option was to do this on his own, and hope he didn’t traumatize his oldest daughter, or die of embarrassment in the process.

“Uh… Lucy, I’m really sorry but Mom’s not- shit- You… You’re gonna have to trust me to help you though this one, bud.” Javi grimaced, wincing at his own words, wondering to himself how he was going to get himself and his daughter through this.

A stark silence hug in the air between them, barricaded by the bathroom door as Javi anxiously bounced his leg, waiting for Lucy to say something, anything, back to him. “How do you know what’s going on?” Lucy questioned hesitantly, probably still just as in shock as Javi was that the two of themselves were stuck in this situation together.

“I uh- I’m just assuming because you wanted Mom- and uh, you’re- you’re in the bathroom and that you’re upset that you got your per-”

“EW DAD?! Don’t say it!! That’s so weird!!” Lucy snapped from the other side of the door, Javi automatically holding up his hands in defense and taking a step back from the bathroom, taking a moment to carefully choose his next words before speaking again.

“Sorry, sorry. Uh, kiddo, listen, I can call Mom but she’s not gonna be home for a while and I- I can’t just let you sit in there until she comes back. Can I- will you let me help you?” Javi asked, preemptively wincing, bracing himself for Lucy’s reply.

“Yeah, I- I guess. Just please don’t be weird, Dad, I’m literally already gonna die of embarrassment and that’s without your help.” Lucy groaned, accepting defeat that she was going to have to let her Dad, of all people, help her through her unfortunate circumstances. Javi let out a sigh of relief that he at least wasn’t going to have to fight with Lucy or leave her stranded in the bathroom, but as he sat and thought about the fact that he was going to put a plan into action… Given the choice between this and chasing down Pablo Escobar or the Cali Cartel? Javi would have been on the first flight back to Colombia.

“Okay, let me uh… I’ll um- give me one second okay?”

“Not like I was planning on going anywhere else anytime soon.” Lucy grumbled, just loud enough for Javi to hear as he sped to Elliot’s room, where he found his other two daughters blissfully unaware of what was happening, building some sort of creation out of Legos.

“Girls, you gotta go do something for me okay?” Javi pleaded, leaning in the doorframe of the bedroom, looking down at his daughters on the floor, pausing their Lego construction, their dad now capturing their attention.

“Okay.” The girls said in unison, giving their dad a little shrug of compliance.

“Can you uh-” Javi ran his hand over his red face, trying to find the least mortifying way to ask his daughters to help, “Can you guys go to Lucy’s room and get her a pair of underwear?”

“EW GROSS DAD.” The girls shrieked, sticking out their tongues in disgust and Elliot pretending to vomit to add to the effect.

“You guys… Can you just- please?” Javi practically begged, trying his best to keep calm and blow things even more out of proportion than they already felt like they were. Elliot and Harper sat quietly for a moment, the gears in their head visibly turning before Elliot spoke again.

“...What’s in it for us?” Elliot asked, tilting her head and shrugging at her sister, too smart for her own good to ever pass up on an opportunity to bargain her way into a better deal.

“Helping your sister.” Javi gruffed, impatient for his daughter’s negotiating antics as his other daughter sat helpless in the bathroom. Elliot and Harper both raised an eyebrow at their dad, sitting on the floor in a determined silence to get something in exchange for Javi’s proposal. “... 5 bucks for each of you, fair?”

“5? Seems a little low for such a risky task.”

“Fine, 10, now go so we can help your sister.”

The girls gave each other a quiet high five before pushing up off the floor and racing past Javi out of the bedroom door towards their sister’s room, Harper’s voice carrying down the hallway.

“I told you she pooped her pants!”

Now having figured out one part of his predicament, Javi made his way back to the bathroom door to check on Lucy as he waited for Elliot and Harper to return. “Hey Lucy… You… You doin’ okay?” Javi asked, his hand brushing through the dark ends of his curls at the back of his neck.

“Yeah… NEVER been better.” Lucy groaned, her voice oozing with sarcasm, a trait she had so lovingly inherited from you, and something Javi couldn’t even come close to being upset with her about, given her current situation. Before Javi could respond, Elliot and Harper were barreling down the hallway, Elliot holding out a hockey stick with a pair of underwear hooked at the end, Javi shaking his in disbelief.

“Seriously, El?” Javi gestured at the hockey stick Elliot had passed off to Harper, now stretching it even further in front of her to distance herself from her sister’s underwear, using the other hand to plug her nose.

“What?! Desperate times call for desperate measures, Dad. It was actually Harper’s idea.” The girls nodded proudly at their accomplishment, Harper freeing her hand from her nose to fist bump her sister at the execution of their plan.

“Jesus Christ…” Javi muttered to himself under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his temples, “Okay, Lucy? I’m gonna open the door enough so that your sisters can drop a new pair of underwear in there for you, alright?”

“DAD!”

“SORRY!” Javi groaned, trying his best to restrain his frustration from how stressed he was, surrounded by all 3 of his daughters trying to manage the biggest crisis he had dealt with to date. Barely opening the door a crack, Javi pointed to Harper to sneak the hockey stick through the empty space, turning it over in hopes that the underwear had fallen to the floor for her sister to grab.

“Harper that’s my new stick! Are you serious?!” Lucy shouted through the opening in the door, as if she needed another reason to be more enraged than she already was. Harper quickly jerked the stick back, slamming the door behind her, dropping it on the floor out of guilt before shouting back.

“Sorry! I didn’t wanna touch your underwear, that’s gross dude.”

“You got me dirty underwear, are you kidding Harper?!”

“No they’re clean, but like… They’re underwear, it’s nasty. Your butt touches it.”

“True that.” Elliot chimed in, leaning against the wall behind her dad and Harper, adamantly nodding in agreement at her younger sister’s reasoning.

“This is literally the worst day in the history of the world.” Lucy groaned in dismay, Javi now recognizing the soft sobs of his daughter return, his heart breaking and his brain fried at how he was going to manage the rest of this shit show until you got home. Javi tried to shoo away Elliot and Harper once again, but not before Elliot could rub the tips of her fingers and thumb together, silently asking for her promised $10 from her dad. Javi frowned, shaking his head no, Elliot getting the hint enough that now perhaps was not the best time to collect her payment. Tugging at her sister’s sleeve, Harper dragged Elliot back to her room, trying to distance herself from her angry sister as much as possible, once again, leaving Javi and the closed bathroom door with his daughter locked behind it.

Javi leaned his forehead against the door, his face buried in his palms letting out a few deep inhales and exhales to maintain his composure, given the fact that he hadn’t even gotten to the part of helping Lucy she legitimately needed.

“You okay, bud?”

“No. What kind of question is that, Dad?”

“Touché.”

“Okay so… so- what- what do I do now?” Lucy asked, her voice quickly shifting from sass to scared, her words meek and timid as she waited for any sort of guidance about what to do. There was nothing that broke Javi’s heart more than seeing any of his girls anything but happy, and to hear the terror in Lucy’s voice made him absolutely crumble, especially when he definitely was not the ideal person to be aiding in this situation.

“Okay, well, uh- in the cabinet under the sink, there should be a pink box and a purple box in the back corner of the second shelf. Can um- can you uh, check to see if you can find them?”

A soft rustling came from behind the door as Lucy rummaged through the bathroom cabinet, the sound of several items falling to the floor in her scramble. “Okay, I- um, I found them. Which box do I use? Do I use both?”

“Purple. Take one out of the purple box.” Javi quickly responded, letting out a panicked gulp, wanting to make sure he was not adding to his already detrimental embarrassment of having to explain tampons to his daughter. “Okay uh- Jesus- okay you, um- you gotta just uh, pull the little paper part off the back…” He paused, trying to give time for Lucy to follow his inadequate directions, taking her silence as his cue to continue, “and then it should be sticky. And then um, then you gotta, uh- take the sticky side and-”

“Okay, yup, got it, please don’t say anymore.” Javi could practically feel Lucy wincing at his directions, leaving him anxiously drumming his fingers along his forearms as the toilet flushed and sink ran, the bathroom door slowly creaking open to reveal a very sheepish and embarrassed Lucy, eyes pinned to the ground to avoid any direct contact with her dad’s.

“Hey kiddo,” Javi grimaced, trying his best to casually greet his daughter, trying his best to keep things from getting any less weird than they already were, “How you uh, how ya-”

“Dad,” Lucy interrupted, holding up her hand to stop her dad, “I love you, and thank you, but I don’t wanna talk about this ever ever again, okay?”

“Understood.” The two nodded in a silent agreement, eyes still peeled in separate directions as Lucy sped off to her room, promptly closing the door behind her with a loud slam, leaving Javi alone and flabbergasted, sinking down with his back against the wall trying to process the shit storm that had just blown through the Peña household.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in an uncomfortable silence between Javi and the girls, his only peace offering being to bring back 3 bags worth of McDonald’s nuggets and fries, knowing that if Lucy was anything like you, the only thing that was going to bring her any sort of joy from her period pain was endless amounts of deep fried, crispy, salty potatoes, and that fast food (on top of their 10 dollars) was enough bribery to keep Elliot and Lucy from harassing their sister about the events of this morning.

When you arrived home, you were surprised to be greeted by nothing but the sound of the TV, setting your bags down at the front door as you made your way to the living room where you found Javi and the girls sitting on the couch, McDonald’s bags placed in between the uncharacteristically hardy distance now dividing your husband and daughters.

“Hey you guys, how’s it going?” You asked hesitantly, shooting Javi a concerned look at your family’s current set up.

“It’s uh…” Javi paused, looking back over at his girls, all 3 of them burning menacing glares at their dad to keep him from spilling the beans on this morning’s circus, “It’s been an interesting day.”

You cocked your head to the side, feeling even less reassured by the uncomfortable tension brewing in your living room, Javi and the girls now looking even more awkward and apprehensive than they had a few moments ago. You tried to give each of them the silent stare down to see if any of them would break, but whatever pact they had formed before your arrival was holding strong, no one cracking under your investigative pressure.

“Okay… Well, if you guys wanna tell me about it then-”

“NO.” Your daughters shouted in unison, frantically shaking their heads to stop your question.

“Like I said…” Javi grumbled, “It’s been… a day.”

Taglist

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chilled-ice-cubes · 10 months

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i have tried to find other mentally ill fictional men to imprint upon but really no one's beating elliot. watching other insane men shows after watching mr robot is like, idk watching some regular guy run the 100 m straight after usain bolt. no one is doing the gay traumatised cocky genius mental breakdown schtick like he is.

#anya.txt #mr robot

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sinnaminttoast · 4 months

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We got a balance update and I’m here to give you my nonsensical commentary/thoughts on it

Oh boy am I ready/nervous for what awaits me in this video.

Will I have a nervous breakdown about the possibilities of what this video will contain? Maybe, but you’ll never know.

Anyways…onto my thoughts

Oh??? So smartass is gonna be caught up on what’s going on. Alright…I mean I think we only ever had Geordi’s reaction to magic so this’ll be interesting.

SMARTASS REMEMBERING THE CARDS THING 😭😭 oh they are…let me date smartass plzzz

LMAOOO OH THEY REALLY GAGGED HIM 🤭

Smartass just already knowing magic exists “like yeah…I know people with cool powers exist. So what?”

Yo if I was smartass and someone told me “this involves kidnapping and conspiracy..”

I’M…I’m not mentally equipped for this one Aar bear 😁✌️

Elliot and Smartass are both of my brain cells theorizing about what the fuck is going on.

Someone strong enough to sneak in and sneak out you say??? 🤨

I think I know of a STRONG stealth who can SNEAK around…👀

Not Asher catching strays for no reason. PAPERWORK IS UGLY OKAY?? I understand him.

“Or maybe he just got better at hiding it.” OKAY! Alright! That line right there….WOW OKAY! Let’s not even open that one because as someone who is anxious…😬 oh it’s rough. Let’s just say that line hit a little too close to home.

Okay me and Elliott can be anxiety buddies…

I know I can be unserious but let’s be serious for a sec.

It’s actually so amazing how Erik makes sure we remember how awful the tragedy of the inversion was. Yeah sure we had the inversion videos to guide us through it but even now Erik makes sure we know that it still affected people outside of those characters.

That it left the department in disarray and with people feeling completely lost about what had happened.

Was not expecting to hear a southern accent but I’m not mad.

I want to know how the department has been dealing with Closeknit …CAUSE NO SERIOUSLY! They literally just kidnapped someone 😭

Oh wow…I didn’t know you…okay mysterious agent tell us your violent fantasies of what you’d like to do with Close Knit.

EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED?! 😦

Oh wow!

Elliott is gonna be sick y’all.

“I can’t lose them Aaron.”

So does Erik want me to jump off the edge rn?? /J

“They were so scared… in the dream. I tried to tell them what they had to do to fight it. I tried to help…but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. I’m supposed to be able to protect them. Dreams are the one thing I’m good at. The one thing I know better than anything else…and I couldn’t help them.”

Send the flood. I’m being so serious.

ELLIE AND SUNSHINE I’LL GET YOU OUTTA THERE 🏃‍♀️💨

WELL THE MISSION HASN’T HAPPENED! According to the summit…Closeknit is still up and running so 🫠

THAT HE’S GONNA WHAT AARON??

I imagine that even though it is killing him to think about Sunshine…he needs them like the air he breathes.

(Yes I stole that from a Conan gray song and yes it hurt me to write that.)

“They were a good balance for one another.”

CAN YOOU LET ME BREATHE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND??

I’ll go get Sunshine myself if no one else will!

And we end with a kiss and uncertainty

So that was the end of that video….

I usually end with a meme but how do I end this without furiously sobbing???

I really tried to be light hearted with this one BUT IT WAS A STRUGGLE TO NOT CRY!

When I catch you Closeknit…oh it’s gonna go down…ESPECIALLY YOU BLAKE😺

I’ll make him eat my foot 🦶 and I’m so serious

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted the balance #redacted elliott #redacted aaron #redacted smartass #redacted sunshine

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cinamun · 1 year

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I honestly think we all have a lot to unpack still. I know I do. On one hand, there is the anger and feelings of betrayal people are feeling because of the final actions Elliot took. But at the same time, we watched him grow up and some (like me) who are newer to the story and binged to catch up, all the good times with Hope are very much fresh in our mind. So while I wanted to snatch his ass up at the post before the choke out scene, the minute I realized where this was going, I legitimately lost it and cried. Cin, I cried like he was my favorite cousin. And here I was watching him self destruct, powerless to stop it all.

Sean was dealt a near impossible hand and then proceeded to play the shittiest game of poker ever. But at the end of the day, I do believe he loved his son. He just… was not equipped to be the father Elliot needed. And like someone mentioned, the Drakes were the family and support he never got at home.

So here he is at a time of crisis in his life, he looks back to where he was happiest. We need to remember that while his actions were abhorrent (violence of that magnitude against someone you claim to love is NEVER justifiable), he was in the middle of a mental breakdown. He could not see a way out of the pain and suffering. To him, the only way to stop it was death. When a person gets to that point, when every thought is fatalistic and they feel boxed in on all sides, suicide seems like a blessing.

I am not and will never defend his actions or Sean’s inability to be the father Elliot needed. But there was a time when we all were rooting for Elliot. When we believed in him and Hope. This is what we should mourn. The potential, the boy in there who was reaching out for something all children should have: the unconditional love of a parent.

And now here we are surrounded by the catastrophic remains of Elliot’s actions. Much like Darren, it’s understandable that our first reaction is to snatch up Sean and scream that Elliot deserves no forgiveness. But Darren saw the devastation in Sean’s eyes. He saw a parent coming to the horrible realization that he failed his child on every. single. level. He also recognized the very same pain clawing at his chest mirrored in Sean’s features. When faced with that, all you can do is fall apart.

So no, we shouldn’t feel sympathy for Elliot in light of his last actions on this earth. But as human beings, we should acknowledge the sheer agony that led up to said actions. We should remember that boy whose friendship was a cornerstone in Hope’s (and all the Drakes honestly) life. That is the person we should sympathize with because that child never stood a chance.

Now we all have to deal with the consequences of the final act of a desperate man. Those actions were unbelievably selfish, horrific and cruel. But that’s not going to be what stays with Hope. When she wakes up, she is going to be told that her oldest friend is gone. She is going to remember those last moments and obsessively wonder what she could have done to save him. This is the trauma every single person who ever cared about Elliot has to reckon with now. And that right there is the sad legacy he leaves behind.

Oof... Let's get into it:

Absolutely all of the above! I couldn't agree more.

So here we have 3 REALLY important moments in Elliot's relationship with his dad and just his life in general:

Not only did E feel like "what team" but a team is supposed to symbolize some kind of family, you don't let your "team" down. But as we learned through Kendrick, even his team/family was flawed. Its like everywhere that Elliot turned for support he couldn't find it UNLESS it was Hope. Kendrick's purpose was to distrupt what should have been Elliot's squad, he was the QB and everyone on the line is supposed to protect the QB..... until Sean took him out of position. Like Hope had Robin and Aaliyah as team mates that became besties. These are the support systems that were so elusive to Elliot.

When I think about such an influential yet disturbed character like Elliot, I think about the whole spectrum of them, especially long-term characters like E. I thought about that spectrum for days. Where did it start, what happened along that spectrum of simulated life and the ultimate end of it. I learned from my own damn writing (smh) that no matter where Elliot turned, nothing was what he needed unless it was Hope. There was no healthy alternative.

Maybe part of the reason they used to scheme on how to get Sean a girlfriend when they were kids is because they were foreshadowing a very dark future if Elliot was left to his own devices with Sean behind the wheel. Basically, I had to study Elliot from the moment he entered the story, until he took his last breath today and, unfortunately, the end result was the only result. And its real, and we need to check on our people as much as we can.

#story stuff #probably spoilers

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anxiouspotatorants · 1 year

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Okay so there are a lot things I’m not sure of or don’t trust in season 1 of 1899, but one thing seems legit to me so far. Maura’s marriage and child is real. It could very well be shipping bias or blind faith in the first plot twist we get talking (I have yet to see Dark so I don’t know how convoluted Jantje and Bo’s plots can get), but based on various shots and actions in season 1 it appears to be real.

When Ada asks Maura about having children, Maura gets a flash of a memory of Elliot’s hand holding the bug. This leads to a full breakdown of flashes that include asylum shots and her room number (indicating the loop) as well as a shot of Maura’s hand in Daniel’s hair (confirmed because the same shot is in 1.07).

When she first meets Daniel in the loop, he feels familiar to her and she tells him. When Elliot is thrown overboard, Maura goes completely blank and defeated. When Elliot steps out of the cabinet and hugs her after The Fight in 1.04, she sheds a tear. When Daniel reveals their connection, Maura cries and shakes and drops her weapon before lifting it again and insisting that he works for her father. When she enters their room in Daniel’s memory space, she gets flashbacks of them being intimate. When her and Daniel kiss, she gets more memory flashes of both this as well as disturbing images related to the mental hospital.

It’s very clear that Maura’s body remembers, both through the tear and with physical touch triggering memories (like Ada’s hand on her belly or kissing Daniel). But it also seems like she’s genuinely on the edge of remembering, but the pain and fear makes her shut down. So many times the flashes of memories are cut together with memories of being in the asylum which seem to be what makes her pull away. It’s after these hospital memories that Maura affirms the simulation as her reality and tries to push Daniel away.

I think Daniel was telling the truth when he said she’d forgotten because she wanted to. It’s probably not as clear cut as choosing to forget, but the pain of everything (be it just losing Elliot or maybe also guilt over everything she did to prevent it) made her mind shut down to protect itself. I’m not sure if she created the asylum memories of her being the patient by herself as a form of mental protection or if Henry or Ciaran put them there to keep her under the simulation, but nevertheless they’re there to keep her from remembering. Because remembering means an amount of pain that she just can’t handle. So much pain that being tortured and killed on loop for all eternity is better than experiencing it.

#don't get me wrong I acknowledge my shipping bias without issue #and I still think there is a lot we don't know about this situation #Like did Maura create everything for Elliot or were there multiple motives #and was she manipulated by Ciaran #and how involved was Daniel in the Elliot-related simulations #and are any of these people alive and maybe one of them actually Ciaran #so yeah a lot of questions #but the heart of whatever this family is seems real to me #even if there's more to the picture #also either way I seem obsessed with Maura angst #this character can just fit so much mental torment into her #1899 spoilers #1899 theories #my theories #1899 #1899 netflix #maura franklin #daniel solace #elliot 1899 #maura x daniel #daniel x maura #not really a shipping post but I figured I should still tag it #so those who don't like the ship can filter it away

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franollie · 4 days

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shuffle your on repeat playlist (on spotify) and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people tagged by @sabrirene

1. for my lover by tracy chapman: calling me out…and during lesbian week of visibility…

2. just a man from epic: i love odysseus and the odyssey and im constantly going bonkers over him struggling with keeping his humanity and questioning what makes us human and (i am dragged away before i give a 40 hour speech on the odyssey)

3. send in the clowns by frank sinatra: stephcass playlist also just a really fucking good song to improv and choreograph to

4. all i ever wanted from the prince of egypt: uhhhhh….i have feelings about moses and ramses ii sometimes okay…and all i can do about it is rewatch or listen to the prince of egypt because no one else cares about them the way i do…

5. prière pour la nuit par barbara pravi ét november ultra: its in a lot of my playlists (most notably my stephcass and improv playlists)

6. baby im yours by cass elliot: i love the mamas and the papas…also it’s in my stephcass playlist

7. the end of love by florence and the machine: another one that i improv to a lot! i think i made a combo to this one recently too

8. material girl by madonna: its in my morning playlist to get me out of bed

9. roses are falling by orville peck:…also in my stephcass playlist…guys i promise i listen to other playlists

10. beautiful child by fleetwood mac: i had a mental breakdown about this song many times…stevie nicks gets me

tagging (not 10 people):

@fracturedanatomy @mysteriousbeetle @hobartsaglet @misspickman @toastsartcornerthesequel @devine-fem

#tag games

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thekatebridgerton · 2 years

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Consider modern day genderbend! Eloise taking care of pregnant Penelope while Colin is jealous and Philip is vibing. It’s funny too cause everyone though Penelope would have married E instead of C. On Pen’s delivery, the nurse asks “who’s the father?” During the frantic rush and both Male!Eloise and Colin cry out “ME!!” Glare and start arguing. It resulted with Philip holding Penelope’s hand during the delivery.

Modern Philoise, our dear Mr El Bridgerton would be the most dedicated best friend ever, going to all Penelope's doctors visit, keeping track of his bestie's prenatal vitamins and calling Colin in the middle of the night to ask if Penelope has cravings because he's at Dennys and maybe he should get his wife something.

El doesn't WANT to be bothering Penelope, don't get him wrong. He just thinks Colin sucks at everything and Penelope deserves better, so he meddles a lot during the pregnancy.

I do think that Ellliot calling Philly panicking because Penelope broke water, asking what to do, would be both sweet and funny. Because Colin would be the calm one, for once in his life, so proud of his wonderful wife and his baby, because they're so beautiful, he's going to be a dad to a mini Penelope and he's so happy. And meanwhile Elliot would be losing his sanity having a mental breakdown over the fact that a tiny human coming out of Penelope's body.

So it's natural that the hospital staff didn't know who the father was. If it was the smiling proud one, or the panicky mess of a man. Both could be the dads, Hospital staff aint judging the lady's taste.

When Agatha is born everyone is delighted, but poor uncle El needs to be sedated while Philly tries to explain that yes, all women have to go trough that whole ordeal to have babies. El promises Philly that if she doesn't want to, she doesn't need to have another baby in her life, because he can use protection, he can pull out, heck he can get a vasectomy, if she wants. Philly laughs nervously patting her stomach in a 'too late for that' motion.

And that's how Elliot finds out Philly is pregnant.

#genderbent eloise bridgerton #chaos incarnate #poor Philly and her crazy husband #polin

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rahleeyah · 1 year

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Elliot baby I'm sorry I can't concentrate you're so sexy but I'm having a full blown mental breakdown

#s.vu

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loneberry · 11 months

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From The Philosophical Pathos of Susan Taubes: Between Nihilism and Hope by Elliot R. Wolfson. According to the endnote, the block quote by Susan Taubes is from a letter to Jacob Taubes. Susan, the punctilious scholar of Simone Weil that she was, knows the grandeur of the blade of grass and all things fragile. As Weil writes: "The fall of the petals from fruit trees in blossom. ... The vulnerability of precious things is beautiful because vulnerability is a mark of existence."

This was the essence of the presentation I gave—in the Nietzsche class I audited—on one of his last texts, The Antichrist. During my presentation I quoted Nietzsche's disturbing passage on pity: “Suppose we measure pity by the value of the reactions it usually produces; then its perilous nature appears in an even brighter light. Quite in general, pity crosses the law of development, which is the law of selection. It preserves what is ripe for destruction; it defends those who have been disinherited and condemned by life; and by the abundance of the failures of all kinds which it keeps.” I then addressed the class: I find this quote haunting when I consider that Nietzsche suffered a mental breakdown in Turin a year after composing this text, a breakdown from which he never recovered. Supposedly, it was his pity for a horse that was being flogged that marked the beginning of his mental breakdown. How are we to read Nietzsche’s critique of pity in light of the events that took place later? If we construct a life philosophy based on strength, a philosophy that overlooks the sick, so-called failures, and those condemned by life, do we also miss out on the lessons that suffering has to teach us? Simone Weil: "Unconsoled affliction is necessary." Weil again: “All suffering which does not detach us is wasted suffering.”

As Elliot R. Wolfson writes in relation to Susan's critique of Nietzsche's will-to-power: "the pledge that life must go on is the deceit that tragedy and mysticism share, but, in the end, the excruciating recognition that death is the incontrovertible terminus of living is what gives shape to the tragic orientation and the mystical vision. Both of these perspectives illumine the empowerment that results from the diminishing rather than the intensification of the will. The moral-pietistic demand is for one to become a hollow reed, to decimate the autonomy of the self, which allows the divine to enter and to sustain the vitality of the soul, an incursion that is compared intriguingly to a dream of rising waters." How memorable--the dream of rising waters as the fecundation of the soul...

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anneonomus · 6 months

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they should invent a job that does not make u want to kill yourself

#suicide ment #suicide tw #elliot should shut up challenge #i need to get out of here i need to get out please i need to get out of here #elliot is having a mental breakdown #dw i’m not gonna kill myself but i do think abt doing it in front of my shit ass store manager just to fuck him up for life. evil ass man

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elliotrv · 5 months

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I’m new to this, so I’m unsure of whether I’m doing it right or not. Might just get my s.o to help out. :(

This is called “The Weeping Willow”

Please don’t steal it, I’ll have a mental breakdown lmao.

“THE WEEPING WILLOW”

She comes to me in whispers,

She’s carried by the soft breeze.

Her kisses cover my eyelashes,

When a blanket of snow— paints the trees.

Her name is a lyric, a note,

She’s written in my soul— a book.

Nay, she isn’t one to be seen,

Not by the naked eye.

She is to be seen with feathers of white,

Waltzing within the clouds amongst the sky.

With every sigh comes a caress,

A promise to this heart of mine.

As long as I may miss her,

She will remain in every reflection;

She will remain in my soul,

Where her and I read books once more,

Underneath the willow tree.

Elliot R. Verona

#poetry #writing #gothic poetry

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abri-chan · 2 years

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Wild how Leo having a mental breakdown over Elliot's passing, then being turned into a thot under the tutelage of Vincent, and finally having Oz punch the thot out of him are all things that canonically happened in Pandora Hearts.

Gilbert: Noooo, Oz, don't you two fight!

Vincent: Let the boys fight, Gilbert.

Put away that gun, Vincent.

What you gonna do?

Shoot yourself?

#anime manga rambles #pandora hearts

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dhampiravidi · 10 months

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hot take: I relate to Carmy Berzatto in S2 of The Bear

putting this under a read more bc of the topic (mentioned in tags):

so The Bear wasn't my favorite in S1, but S2 is very well-written, especially when it comes to its portrayal of mental illness(es). I want to start by saying that ofc not everyone experiences the same mental illness the same way. But I really relate to Carmy, so much that it hurts. I realized that I related to him when it's the focus group scene--he says something akin to, "I try to act like there won't be another shoe to drop, but there always is." Then, there's the whole X-Mas episode. And finally, the day the restaurant opens.

I have generalized anxiety, clinical depression & mild C-PTSD. Here's how I viewed the aforementioned scenes:

Focus Group: let me start by saying I've never been to group therapy (& I don't think I will; I just prefer 1-on-1). Still, I talk to myself a lot, which allows me to confront most of my inner feelings/thoughts. Anyway, it was a sad thing to realize that, over the years, I, too, have stopped believing that I have time to enjoy good moments...because there's always some new shit, some new problem to deal with.

X-Mas: if I had to be in a real-life situation similar to that episode, I'd definitely have an anxiety issue (I say "issue" to differentiate from a panic/anxiety attack). I'm a perfectionist who cares about pleasing people, even if I dislike said people. So to see Carmy in such a stressful place where nowhere is quiet enough to relax...that was hard. I desperately wanted the mom to get some mental help while someone else ordered in. I wanted Bob Odenkirk/Uncle Lee to shut up because to me, Jon Bernthal/Michael seemed to be both depressed and developing anger issues. I wanted to tell Abby Elliot/Natalie that she doesn't need to worry about her mom. & then the whole time I'm hoping that Carmy doesn't have some kind of a breakdown or anxiety issue, because then everyone will fuss over him to the point of starting a fight.

Opening Day: I knew the moment Claire was introduced that she was going to be the third point in a Claire-Carmy-Syd love triangle, one where Carmy ultimately has to choose between taking time off to cultivate his own happiness (something he doesn't do) & making sure that the restaurant is a success. I was glad that, overall, the opening night was awesome. But 1) I was scared for Carmy because apparently you can die within a couple of hours in a walk-in if you aren't careful, and 2) they had Claire be the one to hear his self-destructive rant. I'm not mad at him for ranting. He's a mentally ill/depressed person who works in an unforgiving industry. Despite the customers' happiness, he didn't have a great night. His brother, who was also in the food business, is dead (which I think adds onto Carmy's desire to be successful). Keep all that in mind. Carmy gave Claire the wrong number because he (in my opinion) didn't think he could juggle his commitment to the restaurant with a romantic commitment...& he doesn't think he deserves to be loved/happy (which he admitted in the fridge). If he doesn't end up with Syd by the end of S2, I think the writers will let him be with Claire because nothing he said was actually blaming her for anything. Depressed people love blaming ourselves.

Anyway, kudos to the writers of the show & to Jeremy Allen White.

#tw: mental illness #mental illness tw #tw: mental health #mental health tw #admin #the bear season 2 #carmy berzatto #jeremy allen white #hot take

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lacnunga · 2 years

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What the fuck was the point of this?

No, seriously, what the fuck was the point of this? How bad at writing do you have to be to have such huge amounts of money thrown at a series and not even manage a self-contained story? Season 3 is basically just the prequel to season 4. There is almost no point to watching it by itself.

Let’s review:

Luther is more or less the only person who progresses in this story. He finally gets to see and acknowledge Reginald for who he really is so that’s progress, but I feel like he’s been seriously dumbed down for this season and he has even less authority as number 1 than before. Even when he’s dead his immediate response is to wail on his brother, who is also dead. Then, the ending takes away his physical characteristics so now he’d just a doubly boring white man.

Diego has...some development? We kinda already knew he’d be a reasonable guardian because we see him shepherding Klaus and everyone else around in the other seasons, but season 3 shows us him enabling Alison’s meltdown and basically shrugging off the death of the boy he got super attached to during his babysitting stint and they’re trying to make him out to be excellent father material? Buddy, he’s got a start but he has a long way to go regarding responsibility, especially with Lila as the mother, who has shown no compunction about manipulating him and taking and dumping children. They’re both terrible for each other.

Alison. Wow. Alison. Good show for a dirty mental breakdown; I didn’t appreciate the way she went off on her siblings, especially Viktor, but personal dislike of the character doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good depiction of messy grief. However, what was the payoff? We have several times in the show where she’s talking about having to live with the grief and keeping Ray and Claire’s memory in her heart, but the show decides to pay tribute to this by killing her off? How is this a good follow-through for the hints they were dropping about moving on from loss through the episodes?

Klaus gets to master his powers - hurray! And what does that get him? Basically nothing. His siblings are no more concerned about him dying than ever before, he got no more or less sober and apparently all his screen time is dedicated to either him falling for the ‘good father’ act that eventually gets betrayed or for him to just die repeatedly. Literally no change from the first to last episode developmentally.

Five tries to retire and doesn’t get to. He spends the whole season swinging wildly between trying to save the world and letting it go. We find out he actually founded the Commission, for which there is no follow through in the season. He loses an arm but actually he doesn’t, so the timeline might or might not still go as before. No development either.

Ben is quite different from the Ben we’ve seen previously. We get to see him go through a lot of stages of ‘I want daddy to be proud of me’ but by the end he doesn’t care any more about his fellow Sparrows or about the Umbrellas than at the beginning. There’s a little convo between him and Sloane before the wedding but that’s essentially it grieving wise. He walks off at the end apparently completely content with the way things have turned out.

Viktor gets the most and least development. Obviously Elliot’s own transition is worked into the character in a way that was maybe a little bit fast for me but the producers probably didn’t want him to have to play Vanya for any longer than necessary so it’s fine. His relationship with Luther was...a bit of a surprise? But good relationship wise. It was painful seeing him being wailed on by Alison all the time for what was, comparatively, a very small misstep in the scheme of things - it’s not like he killed anyone, he just lied about manslaughter that happened 30 years ago by omission. He didn’t deserve the anger he got from Alison for that. But here’s what irritated me - he was more or less stuck as a bit of a wet towel in regards to that. He was perceived as a leader by a lot of the Sparrows, but he never got to really grow into that position by the end of the season. What did he gain from this? His transition and what? He was still the same character by the end as before.

The Sparrows sucked as characters. Sorry, but it’s true. We get introduced to them and half of them we never really learn more than their names and powers before they’re killed off. Fei at least should have survived until the end so there could be more of a dynamic between her and Ben; they seemed the ‘closest’ if we’re going by interaction (and love and hate are very interchangeable when it comes to Hargreeves as we know) and I would have loved to find out more about her even if I wasn’t too keen about her outfit choices. As for Sloane. she is the most cookie-cutter, milquetoast Taylee-McKarty cheerleader-who-married-the-jock girl they could have picked. Her and Luther’s four day or whatever romance was so incredibly boring I groaned every time I had to be subjected to it. And for what? She’s there, she tells Luther how cool the moon is, she cries when he’s gone and then she’s erased with the new timeline. Sorry, you killed off Fei and Jayme for her? Rookie mistake.

In the end, season 3 was blatantly nothing more than a prequel to season 4. I think there’s probably a lot of unresolved set-ups in 3 that will pay off if they make a fourth season. The Umbrellas are just as dysfunctional as before, and there was less time devoted this season to fun sibling relationships in favour of being absolute shits to each other (and especially Viktor) and forcing romances in. At the end they all seem to just be fine with Alison dying and immediately split, even after three seasons of ‘family this’ and ‘family that’. Oh and Harland was there, we found out he suffered and his mother suffered and he was killed off in a pointless way that was more or less brushed off and forgiven soon after. Great plot point that was no plot point at all.

#this isn't even getting into the nitty gritty things that irritated me about season 3 #but its gone right up there with the second da film for 'waste of time that has just left me more frustrated than before'#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy spoilers #spoilers #there is something to be said for laying down hints for future seasons #and then there's being unable to write a self contained season that shouldn't have to rely on being renewed to be worthy of watching!

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