#elle says I'm gonna be okay but i don't think i am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weird-bookworm · 10 months

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@silversailormoan - we actually started gossiping on ao3 in the comment section of one of her works 💀 she always has something funny to say and it really makes my day 😂 we haven't been interacting much lately, but one of the best people ever 💜

@yrhome (elle) - still surprised she followed me back tbh, was not expecting that. i haven't really interacted with her (yet, hopefully) but definitely one of the best txtenha writers on here 💕

@maeleelee (mae) - the prettiest, most lovable, very brave and the most chaotic person ever!! she makes me feel so soft and warm and loved 🥺 and her sense of humour is top class 🤌🏻 i'm really grateful she decided to message me randomly because i can't bear the thought of not knowing her ❤️

@imagine-a-life-like-this (cassi) - where do i even start? one of the first people i followed on here, the reason i'm obsessed with fake texts, and one of the sweetest souls alive 💖 she's so warm and always so funny and so so talented 😭

@mxnsxngie (kayla) - me and my awkward ass has no words tbh 😅 she's just really comforting, yknow? like, she'll listen if i randomly rant and reassure and encourage me and that's just so 🥺💕 she gives me fairy vibes— pretty, glittery, and lowkey fascinating ✨

@ylliris-hanniehae (ylli) - finally someone who's my age!! she's become a close friend very quickly and she's very sweet 🥺 i've been seeing her randomly drop in people's inbox's just asking about their day and it makes me so happy 💕so lovely and so kind 🥺 i'm glad she approached me 😅

@fairyhaos (yena) - impeccable sense of humour? check! really really efficient? check! one of the amazing people i know here? check! one of THE best svt writers? check check check! i just really love them and their work 💕 their sweetness gives me diabetes and i'm glad i have a chance to get to know them better 😚

@idubiluv (arya) - you know when you start talking to a person for the first time as if you've known them forever? yeah, that's her 🥺💕 she's such a ray of sunshine, a real bubble of joy which pops with rainbows and smiles (thanks for dming out of nowhere 😆)

@the-therapist-needs-therapy (haru) - literally so sweet omg??? we're going to be fast friends, i just know it 💕 and her writing omfg 😭 all i remember is writing the cringiest shit at her age so she's just really impressive y'know? 😍

@babyboyquokka (jess) - we've conversed a total of 2 times 😭 and she's already been so sweet 😭 hope i'll get to know her better soon!!

@cadenonlinelive (caden) - i think i know cco and ccl caden better atp honestly 😅 we're moots already so here's to hoping we'll get to talking soon ✌🏻

@slytherinshua (zanna) - see. now her? she's amazing. her writing is absolutely fire, she has the sweetest most chaotic personality, she writes for way too many fandoms (she's crazy and she knows it 😃) and is literally the most welcoming (?) person ever 🥺

@icyminghao (noelle) - current mission: get to know noelle better!! ✨

@ryuwonieebae (ryuwon) - adding another moot to the i-don't-really-know-them-properly-yet list lolol 😅

@rubywonu (nia) - HELLO? EXCUSE ME? WHEN DID SHE FOLLOW ME BACK THIS IS PRACTICALLY AN INVITE TO BE FRIENDS 😳

@mesanthropi (weiss) - i need a thorough look inside xir brain and a green sign to be xir friend (the strangest person i know in the best way possible ✨ keep twinkling my love)

@wheeboo (rania) - omg the sweetest cutest squishiest boo stan ever like i just wanna wrap her in a hug don't ask me why idk this is very random but i just really love her okay? 🥺

@hanniehaee (milani) - imma be honest, she showed up out of nowhere and just gave me so much love in such a short time that i fell Hard lmao 🤩

@aaniag (aania) - fellow indian carat who has been showering me with so much love and so much support, thank you so so much 💕

@woozvc (nora) - i never realised we're moots...btw nora this is me telling you i am stupid and you're gonna have to deal with my stupid ass, thank you!

@yeonjuns-redhair (hannie) - SDFGHJKL SUCH AN ICON?? please she's so fucking funny and we're so weirdly similar like man i love her 😭💕

@welcometomyoasis (shu) - ...will you forgive me if i tell you it took me this long to realise that we're moots and you're not just a very nice person i was following? 😅 BUT TYSM FOR ALL THE SUPPORT FR ILY 💕

@springdayysworld (kuhu) - she's been here for a couple months now but i can tag her because her blog Finally looks decent (curtsey to moi) 😌 she's my best friend and the one person who never fails to annoy me every. single. day. i love you, you bitch ❤️ (she's an irl for anyone's whos wondering 😭)

@mirxzii (roxie) - i'm hoping to get to know her better, because all i know rn is that she's a great singer ✨

@blue-jisungs (axe) - BRO SHE'S SO FREAKIN FUNNY LIKE???? full of chaos and sass and the inherent inability to be mean, axe is so full of love and boomer-ness 🤭 and now i can say that i am moots with THE axe heheh

@haecien (cien) - bro listen. this guy? right here? i like them. he's cool and very much in love with the same men i'm in love with 😍 also their smaus are fire so 😩

@aakomii (ari) - i. malfunctioned when i saw the follow notif. i'm not kidding. i just sat there staring at it for 5 minutes. LET'S BE FRIENDS SOON !!

@etherealyoungk (skye) - life is now complete 😌 THE skye is officially now my moot and i can only tell her how much of a mistake that is because i am SO annoying and while i feel like you have endless amounts of patience, uhm, uh, hehe, good luck 😃

@glosskirt (gloss) - my sister from another mother, my fellow yoongi simp, i hope we always reign with chaos and spice 🤌🏻👹

@candewlsy (mizu) - BRO WHY R U A WHOLE ASS MOOD like the jungwon obsession is too fucking real 😩 also the memes 👹 the Memes™ ✨ teach me your ways!

@kkooongie (sarah) - ah, yes, another desi moot (am i...am i a magnet? 😃 IM NOT COMPLAINING THO) ur fr the only person i've discussed my book interests with and it's been heaven lol 💕

@iwas-tooru (noya) - bbg idk why i'm adding you here but i've added kuhu so...ANYWAY this is my irl koala and my fellow gay simper 💕✨

@liveyun (yun) - when maturity meets chaos meets talent meets a shared love for bts = yun ✨

@thepoopdokyeomtouched (aznik) - another desi moot for y'all, aznik is a walking talking meme who is in love with music (and has fire choices 👀) and has a mastery in flirting because i saw you for the first time flirting with yena on main lmao 😭

@mangocustard16 (mango) - we're still getting to know each other but dayum your writing is 🔥fire🔥

@arafilez (ara) - FELLOW CHAOS MAKER ATINY SIMP why are we like this ahem— desi moot pt. idek but srsly ilysm mwah <33

@nonononranghaee (hafs) - the one person who has flustered me without actually doing anything because. well. 😅

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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months

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Hiii CATIE!!!!! HIII

Im pretty pretty sure people have already asked BUT HOW WAS ATTENDING THE US GP LIVE!!!! WAS???? TELL ME!! DO YOU HAVE PICS??? I know I know im late.

I ALSO HOPE YOU GOT HOME SAFE AND SOUND AND THAT YOU ARE RESTING NOW+!!!(I saw the chaos you went through im deeply sorry for you :( )

ANYWAYS HOW WAS THE RACE? HOW WAS EXPERIENCING STROLLONSO LIVE?????? AND omg did you get pics of drivers??? :00

You must must share pleaseeeeee.wax.poet

OH MY GOD ELLE SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! IT WAS VERY COOL!!!!! VERY SURREAL!!!!!! I've taken a week to answer this but uhhhh yes I am in fact home now 🥰 I got home at like 1 am which was cool....

First of all I have to mention this! I was fighting for my life walking thru the Austin airport(from sleep deprivation), and I had my Fernando hat on my backpack, right? Some girl comes up to me and asks if I'm going to the GP, I say yes. SHE GAVE ME A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET, I COULD'VE SOBBED 🥹 It says on it "wtf is a km", I'm still so happy

COTA was the first race I ever watched, so to be actually at that track and watch a race live there was extremely surreal! Very hot though my god 😵‍💫 I think last year it was pretty hot, right? And my brother kept sending me the temp and it was pretty okay, and then of fucking course the temp leaps up to 89-97°(31-36° Celsius btw) right in time for the gp....so that was nice(I say as I burn in the sun like a vampire. But don't worry I didn't even really tan at all 😭 I always wore a hat and a lot of sunscreen. And meanwhile my brother was literally a lobster)

(This is a long post):

So unfortunately I missed the drivers parade because my brother and I were dying on Saturday night and his friends wanted to go first thing in the morning, and we're like "we will go later actually 😊" and missed it entirely 😭😭😭 but his friends took pics of Mclaren and Aston for me!!!!! But unfortunately I havent gotten them still, so I'll have to reblog this later with those! I took a lot of pictures of the cars I took from behind the fence, which I think I've posted some of? Lmk if anyone wants those!! They're very random, I just thought it was very surreal to see the cars flying past, so I took a million.

The coolest part was definitely running on track after the race was over!!! Soooooo surreal, and so I'm only gonna post pics rn from Sunday(bcs pic limit on phone) and also I think everything else kinda pales in comparison(but of course lmk if there's anything you're interested in seeing 🤭)

Okay and did I see any drivers...? ONLY ONE BUT AAAAHHHH I DID SEE LANDO!!! Not even one of my favs but it was soooooo surreal to see him, even from afar. As you can see above, everyone standing on the fences was blocking the view 🙄, but during the podium, I was focusing my camera btwn their legs and got literally one second of Lando 😭 I think its a pretty aesthetic clip, so I gifed it!!

It was so funny, I went to the gp with my brother and friends, so all these older guys yeah. And I was showing this off to them on the ride home, and his one friend was praising me so much for it 😭😭 like: "oh my god!!!! You could put this in an edit !!! This is so sick!!!!"

Oh one other thing!!! I think I've mentioned it before but my god, my favorite f1 podiums are always the ones with confetti, right?? AND THERE WAS CONFETTI AT THIS RACE!!!

LOOK AT HOW PRETTYYYYY!!!! And so anyways, I picked up so much confetti off the ground and now it lives forever in my phone case 🥰🥰🥰 I have no other room for pics on this post(for now) but oh my godddddddddd most of the confetti were just rectangles BUT THERE WAS ALSO ONES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS!!! SO COOL!!!!! And I also picked up a bunch of tire marbles off the ground!!! And a piece of plastic that probably came off some car. It was so funny when all of us were just scrounging off the ground. My bro's one friend somehow found a piece of carbon fiber, and we're all like "how can I kill him in his sleep and steal this from him..." But no the highlight actually of that process was watching my brother sprint to the podium, but stopping and grabbing a bunch of gravel first to shove in his pocket 😭😭😭

The other two days were fun as well, but also a lot of just dying in the heat and drinking a fuckton of red bull, so there's not too much specifically to say! I really liked hearing the cars. I think if you wanna know what's actually going on in a race, watching from home is better, but hearing the cars go by and seeing them is just so fucking sick. It was so funny to see grown men be like "I think I'm going to cry hearing these cars." I was really flexing on them with "uhhh yeah I've already been to a gp already 🙄🙄"

Anyways I ended the day by breaking bank by buying my dad and myself Fernando shirts because he is of course Fernando's biggest fan 🥰🥰 and I bought the most delicious overpriced lemonade, which I only drank half of bcs my brother proceeded to accidentally elbow it out of my hand....

OH WAIT ONE MORE DETAIL LOL. On Friday, my brother and his friend were waiting in line for smth and I was talking to them outside of the barrier. I look down, hmm theres a red cap abandoned on the ground, I pick it up, it is in fact a Ferrari hat. And that is how my brother acquired a $40+ dollar hat for free. Lucky bastard....I was the who found it!

#there is my experience kinda summed up???? i #i wanted to wait to answer this until i got all the random misc photos but alas i sitll havent #but its still very sweet to me that theu took pics of the drivers parade for me 🥺🥺#he was like “here is mclaren!!! and here is aston!!!!” THANK YOU STILL 🥹🥹#oh fuck wait i forgot to mention a crucial detail #on the wah home from the gp my brother's tire popped 😭😭😭😭#and im ofc chilling in the car while these three car men(horse girls tbf) change the tire #and theyre all covered in grease and i say “what a great way to end the day!' and his friend turns around anf gives me this face: 😐#various misfortunes but it was fine!!! it was great!!!!! just tiring #OH YEAH THE KILLERS WAS PRETTY COOL AS WELL!!!!!#basically: everything was sick 😎#except every time oscar and nando did badly and i would fall dramatically onto the ground bcs that's the type of persom i am #thank you so much for asking elle 🥺🥺🥺#if you hadnt prompted i prob wouldve never ended up recapping it #all i can say is im incredibly lucky to have all the experiences i did this year #catie.rambling.txt #catie.asks.#*OH MY GOD YEAH ONE THIGN #*i bought a new phone beforew this gp. for this gp tbh. bcs of the camers. i think it paid off pretty well no? 🤭

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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 10 months

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✨If you get this, someone thinks you are awesome!✨

✨Send this anon to 10 blogs that make you happy when you see them on your dash ✨

Hi anon, anon, anon, anon, anon, and anon. I hope you'll forgive me that I'm just gonna answer this once - but with a li'l twist!

I love that people took time out of their lives to tell me they think I'm awesome; I think they're all awesome, too! Now instead of answering this six times and then sending this on to 10 people anonymously... I'm gonna call out the people I was gonna send this to publicly! With a little bonus...

It has to be @geralts-yenn! I couldn't call myself her rodent bestie if I didn't have this number 1 spot reserved for her. Now, first this bitch wonderful person writes me Ray of Sunshine, a modern-day Melot AU wet dream filled with bikers and beaches and sex, but she also hit us with anahita - a Napoleon smutfic so hot you'll be sweating like a whore in church before you're even through the first paragraph. Go read that. You're welcome.

Next, we've got my co-Dutchie @keanureevesisbae, who is busy with her own projects instead of fanfics nowadays. Still: Go read endeavors and thank me later. Or, if you're into a little RPF and want to live life vicariously through sugarbaby Becky there's also sugar sugar, which is very nice as well... (I just want a man to come take me shopping, okay?)

@deandoesthingstome is an amazing writer, I am often jealous of her way with words, and she is one of the kindest people I know on here. Go read Holiday Angel. It has everything. A luxurious mansion to mentally vacay in for a bit, gentle!Dom!August, forbidden fruit romance. It's a long one, but so, so worth it... Another good one? Why, of course! Hall Pass. Just read it. She also deserves a shoutout to being one of the most supportive readers in this entire fandom

They haven't been on here long, but my tumblrverse would already be so incomplete without @ellethespaceunicorn! Not only did they write Treat Me Like A Slut, which has August just the way we like him; dominant and deep inside you, they also found it necessary to write Make That Kitty Purr. And I agree. It was necessary. Nevermind that my babyboy Mikey gets hurt, I'll forgive Elle for that because this shit was so fucking good.

Next up we've got @peyton-warren, who only recently returned from a little Tumblr hiatus, and I thus haven't spoken that much just yet, but the drabble Arresting and Arrested should be enough to get you to take a look at the rest of her masterlist.

Go check out @mayloma, creator of Behind The Curtain, which has a lovely August and some anal action - which means I'm always game! She's also very sweet. I know I haven't read much of her stuff, but if I ever get my act together and get reading again, Yenn assured me there's some Sy to check out here.

It's no secret I don't particularly like my Sy's in the military, which makes it all the more impressive that @sillyrabbit81 wrote one that I did fall head over heels in love with! He's in Even if you don't mean it, and if you haven't read that, go do it now. And I do mean that. Then, perhaps my all-time favorite fic so far has to be The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood. Maybe I should elaborate on that, probably, but instead I'm just gonna say: Bikers. Proceed with caution, because when that next chapter hits, you're gonna have to pause Criminal Minds. I'm also going to leave the link to Prying here, because it's so fucking dirty it melts my brain a little every time I re-read it.

Now, we all love seeing @angryschnauzer on our dashes, keeping things horny on main and yeeting the occasional fic into the dark void that is this hellsite. For instance Cuddles and Snuggles, an unholy combination of Mike and Charles - something that had never even crossed my mind - and a guest appearance from sugardaddy August. Mad perfection. Now my next rec for her may be a little odd, because she makes it very clear that it's a crack fic; Full Mast. I'm a sucker for everything pirate - and so is reader... just check out Part 2...

@poledancingdinos amazed me with You've got me hooked, which has stripping and sex work and Sy, who is great. I think I read this entire (or almost entire?) series in a single night while I was in bed. Couldn't stop... She's also responsible for Soundtrack of Debauchery, which I still haven't finished, because my ADHD has been a bitch, but I started it, and it was very good!!!

#10

And last but not least: @littlefreya. I'm fairly sure there are still things on her massive masterlist I haven't read, and a lot of which I read in my pre- and early fandom tumblr days, and haven't reblogged (for which I apologize, by the way). The sheer vastness of her masterlist makes it a bit tricky to pick, but let's go for some delightful dark fics; The Devil's Tongue and Destroyer of Angels

SO: The challenge. If you're on this list (or if you're not on this list, this is an open invitation to everyone!) rec some fics! Write an essay, like this one, or don't. Toss a few names and some titles in a list and be done with it, that's fine. Recommend one, or ten, or twenty authors. Hell; Recommend yourself! Recommend your favorite artist, link some art! Spread the love!

#anon ask #anon positivity #spread the love #fandom is community #I woke up with an unexpected amount of energy today #fic rec #not mine #author rec list

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flyfish1999 · 16 days

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For the character thing P3PHeroine?

thanks elle-p !!!!!!!!!! good luck with my character too ^_^)/ !! i feel like i totally don't talk about her (or tbh anyone outside of ryoji ...) as much as i should .. ! im gonna work to change that \o/ ! starting here :]c putting this one under a cut because it actually got suuuper long ^_^;; whoops !

favourite thing about them: she exists !!!!!!!!!!!! and she's so cool . she's like, devastatingly cool . both in her concept and just .. herself .... move over chad narukami losers !!!!!!!!!! especially in her exclusive links, her kindness and kick-ass-ness and depth comes out in full force and i love her so much for it. i know i'm a ryominahead, but i miss her everyday !!!!!!!!

least favourite thing about them: not her fault AT ALL . but aside from how underrepresented she is, i am still a firm believer that she should've received her own ryoji ... it's so sad, because i absolutely adore how they open up to each other, but i've talked to others before about how ryoji in her story as seemingly HER mirror just feels wrong, like he's transplanted from another place (which he literally is .. he's created in minato's image). i would've loved to see how her ryoji could've been more specifically shaped and changed by her quirks + her approach to her trauma

favourite line: "but, when i first saw him... he didn't feel at all like a stranger to me." "i can't explain it well, but it was almost like nostalgia.... or some kind of closeness." "i'm him, and he's me...?" it's criminal that q2 left it at this.

brOTP: junpei and hamuko is especially special to me ... more so than minato and junpei really . they bounce off of each other so well, + the extended/enhanced arc where junpei is kind of misogynistic to her alongside the leader jealousy and how that develops is so cool T_T

OTP: HAMUAIGIS 4EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aigis im so sorry yr girlfriend is still in the vault . can you imagine femc the answer . would destroy my soul .

nOTP: her + junpei . .. maybe im a little hater but the GAME doesnt even let you do it lmao ...! it means a lot to me that they're best friends . other than that, i'd say she fits cutely with nearly everyone else just like minato does !

random headcanon: okay lets be real . am i stupid ? where does her mp3 player attach ? it just kind of hangs out in midair while minato obviously hangs it on a lanyard . i like to think she's a bit more crafty with it !!! clipping it onto the zipper of her uniform or her scarf or keeping it on a wristband etc ^_^

unpopular opinion: gwa ........... i should just own this i think, even if people disagree !! in my opinion ... femc is supplementary content. and that means you should not be playing her route as your first experience in persona 3. just like how i believe you shouldn't read the manga or watch the movies before playing the game. you need to play the male route first. the way she presents the game's themes through her character and modified story is designed to be in direct opposition and contract with minato's route, and enhances both routes to that effect and can totally change your experience when viewing your previous playthrough of the male route and your current route as her through the lens she teaches the player. in a sad sort of way, i am kind of happy reload hasn't enforced this idea that femc is just one of two ways to experience p3 . this isn't a character select .. she's more like a perfect ng+ to me .

song i associate them with: back to the lighthearted stuff ! cop car by mitski ^_^ easiest answer so far !

favourite picture of them: either this [below], the cover of persona compilation II, or either of the persona music live/tour 2009 and 2010 artworks ! i'm a shin apologist though, so take that with a grain of salt ;] i really love how she's shown in opposition with narukami here, how he's looking straight at her but she's not meeting his eye . i would really love to see these two together more !

#thank you as always elle-p !!!!!!!!#this was lots of fun !!!!!!#please don't come after me everyone ehehe ^_^;;

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safyresky · 6 months

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Hello, I need to drop this in here before Season two of TSCS drop kicks me in a few days.

But I've had Fusion Au on the mind. In the brain. And I just frankly wanna know more about it. Whatever other information you can give I will GLADLY take. (Maybe even drop the fusion height chart 👉👈 if it is to be found)

Steven Universe has permanently altered my brain chemistry and I just wanna hear you talk about this silly little au that has been fluttering around lately.

F E L T. I have been hitting the ground RUNNING for Crystal Springs just to give myself decent AC for when the series picks up again (not sure if I'm gonna post the same day of the new episodes or the day AFTER, but New CS will be there to comfort me and maybe others in my our time of need).

I am not ready. I NEVER will be. I hope and pray that the Council isn't butchered, bc if we've got three confirmed Legendary Figures, I can't see us NOT getting the others. Or, maybe it WILL just be Sandy and Cupid and EB 2.0!! But idk. Idk man. Idk. I really want the snowball that gets thrown in Scott's face in the trailer to be courtesy of Jack. I know it won't be. But I fucking WISH and HOPE and AH.

OFF TOPIC!

I have a height chart floating around somewhere, but it is a stick figure doodle, so I will ATTEMPT to give you a proper?? Chart???

I think I said that Berline is about the size of two Elles stacked on top of each other (sitting on her shoulders) so I kinda eyeballed it based on that??? (me retconning so much about heights knowing that I had Berline pick Elle up and seat her in their palm lmao) So here we go, the main line up:

I eyeballed the SHIT out of this??? I may boost them all a whole ass foot lmao but Richard was liek "DANI. SEVEN FEET IS TALL!" and I was like I GUESS.

Also, as an aside??? The height chart site has a 3D one?? That actually disturbed me??? Thank GOD I was able to switch back! If I find the shitty lil stick figure height doodle I will edit to add it. Or reblog to add it, lol. ANYWAY.

Some info, you request? Okay! Let me marinate it in my head and see what I can do throughout the day:

If the entire frost fam fused they'd be called Frost and they'd be a DELIGHT. They don't talk much except for to be polite and they will throw melty molten rock at you at the drop of a hat, so it's a GOOD THING that Jackie doesn't exists when Frost does! Because they WOULD drop their hat on purpose just to see a fire show

Frost probably freezes in place a lot while thinking since there's 6 whole ass sprites in there having a discussion, which is a very funny mental image--just this blob of ice and fire BUFFERING and then suddenly some asshole gets pompeii'd lol

They're very sweet! Very polite. Always say please and thank you!

When Fino and Fiera fuse, Fire is just the opposite of the THERE'S TWO meme. There's ONE. And they are making it YOUR PROBLEM (they also do unfuse in my head very similarly to the THERE'S TWO meme)

Fire is also the most humanoid looking fusion, for sure!

Diteline really likes flower crowns. She will make you a flower crown or a lil grass bracelet if she's left alone with no threats and a bunch of nature. She's a big old sweetie, an absolute delight

Diteline kids, meanwhile, are a pain when they learn about fusion, and incredibly hard to keep track of once they master it. Those three lil buggers will bounce from fusion to fusion, going from helping to causing trouble to wreaking havoc to trying to fix something as simple as "oh shit, mom and mater will be home soon and we DIDN'T CLEAN THE KITCHEN LIKE THEY ASKED"

Inter season squabbles take on a whole new meaning when it's "shoulder season" time, as 9/10 times it's because the two seasons have fused and are still doing their jobs 😂😂

Of all the Frosts, Fino is the least likely to fuse! It's fun but not like, a big deal, y'know? Orc Friend (who's name is, in fact, Ken, and then I saw Barbie and. Well. But I can't not see him with any other name! It's short for Kenothy) was tres relieved about this, had a whole crisis about if they'd have to fuse at all and of course, overthought it in leaps and bounds 🫠🫠🫠

Fiera and Normal Man (His name is Norm bc I am a SUCKER for a PUNNY NAME) probably would equate to the Stevonnie plotline lol. Like, they'd fuse and Fiera would be like "I DIDN'T KNOW ORDIBEINGS COULD DO THAT! WOW!" And they'd be so excited and have a regular time, bc the normal and absolutely unhinged wild crazy balance out :)

I think their fusion is named Norma lol

Blaise and Pyros never fused, ever. They were not allowed to bc it "wasn't proper" for royalty to resort to something like that

(King and Queen Frost had a very hands-off approach with...messier conflicts. There's a reason they managed to scrape by when The Call happened)

If a redemption arc ever happened for Pyros, it A) wouldn't be one like Jack's, it'd be a more "oh so this was a fucked up upbringing and I need to stop blaming others and confront myself and maybe fix my shit or maybe get worse, who's to say" kind of thing, and B) there'd deffs be a fusion related plotline in Fusion AU, potentially involving murder of parents and/or falling into a volcano.

I think, somehow, of ALL the fusions, Elline (Elle and Jacqueline) are the most chillest one. She is SO chill. She probably always has sunglasses on or on her person. She's got great advice. She'll go with you for ice cream any day! She has such good vibes it's unREAL.

I want to/am in the process of giving the inter-season fusions names. So far we've got:

Flora: Spring/Summer

Fauna: Spring/Autumn

Mud: Spring/Winter.

She's very insistent on this name presently, but I think a wintry plant would be cuter, like Winterberry or Poinsettia or Snowdrop (my personal fave tbh) but NO. She's like "I make Mud therefor I am mud."

Everyone calls her Snowdrop and she's like "No, just Mud for short is fine" It's like. None of those letters are even IN "Snowdrop" Mud, the FUCK? CAN'T YOU CHARACTERS BE NORMAL. TO A POINT.

Evergreen: Autumn/Winter

Sunflower: Summer/Autumn

(I was torn between something plain and obvious like "Harvest", or a silly crop related pun like "Melony", then I remembered that in SDV Sunflowers grow in Summer and Autumn, you know, like they do in IRL and went OH THAT'S PERFECT!)

Summer/Winter fusion is definitely the poster fusion for vacations, lmao. Probably I'll think of something like THAT for their name. Maybe Snowbird? Bc that's what they call people who fly south for the winter on vacations? Lol

(smacks head of Season sisters) These ladies can fit SO MUCH PUNS in 'em

Blaise and Winter I don't think really fuse with the kiddos, not until later years. I know for sure Winter and Jacqueline on occasion have! She's called Flurry and has the MOST energy ever always and is a sentient storm's WORST NIGHTMARE

Blinter the fusion. Can deffs. Pull other fusions apart. They can just pick up a fusion and be like "nope" and separate their asses. They do not abuse this power; it is just something they can do and it came in handy a LOT during the War of Succession

Which is probably actually when they first appeared! Trauma bonding 🥰🥰

So that's what I managed in a day! The heights are...average, I'd say. Not gospel, but like, the differences between the fusions? Solid. I eyeballed it 100%. I'm like MAKE EM BIG but then I'm like I WANT THEM TO BE SNEAKY AND BLEND IN WHEN THEY CAN AS JUST VERY TALL PEOPLE HUEHUEHUE. For some of them. SO YEAH. I HOPE THIS SATISFIES THE LIL ITCH? THE LIL TICKLE? THE LIL FUSION BUG??

I gotta like. Tidy Fusion AU up now that I've got Crystal Springs tidied up, too! It'll make it easier to write the Jackie Frost instalment, lol.

#dani answers #ask box shenanigans #alpharra #fusion au #anyway i hope you enjoy this!!!!#maybe i will. fusion au for you all next year. idk!!!!#we'll see!#OH ALSO i think jackie may get a glow up!#you know how harvey guillen wore that AMAZING suit with the like. skirt back????#that but for jackie. that's rent free in my HEAD bb #okok this has been in drafts way too long today lol. enjoy!

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feefymo · 4 months

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1, 2, 4, 13, 21 and 22!!

1) I choose both for different reasons but I'm gonna say: Asylum and Freakshow! I don't know what I would give to see them again for the very first time... sigh. 2) Delicate. I know, I know: bad girl, you haven't even watch it! It's something I feel in my gut. And yes, there are other seasons that I chose not to watch but I trust my feelings (lol?). 4) Many characters deserve my disappointment BUT I'll select Ivy from Cult and Ben from Murder House. I mean. I MEAN. The first one is the worst stereotype of a """good man""" who ends in the only way possible: crying, with his cheater cock in his hand. The second one. Please, don't let me start 'cause I think is unnecessary. 13) Uuuuh! Well, well: I think I'd love to see a season totally set in the past. Maybe in Europe, like: Victorian Age, Golden Age, etc. A main theme could be the real face of nobility. Another? Sex. No need to add anything else. Having said that, humans remain the thing that scares me the most. 21) I bow to Denis O'Hare (you understand what kind of fan I am, huh, babe?). What an actor! No doubt: Liz (just like you hehe). 22) Haaaaard one but I love it! Let's see: Tilda Swinton, Willem Dafoe, Mia Goth, Eva Green, Christian Bale, Elle Fanning, Adam Driver... okay, okay enough. But I'm full of potential guest stars!

#american horror story #ask game #question answered #mutuals #taintandviolent

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magicalara · 1 year

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The Story of Grelle the Reaper: A review by yours truly prt 3

Hello hello my lovely theorists (totally didn't steal that from matpat, I'm Em Gem)! Welcome to part 3 of my analyzation of The Story of Grelle the Reaper by the lovely and amazing @eemoo1o-animoo. If you haven't seen parts 1 and 2 where I go over the prelude and chapter 1, you can go here for the prelude and here for chapter 1! Fair warning, they're a mess. Even this is kinda a mess, but it's okay, we get through it.

I have been messaging with Ell throughout the majority of my analyzations so keep in mind that even in my works there are some little hints here and there, though nothing too groundbreaking. I am a reader myself so I don't know nor would want to know the whole story lol.

Do keep the trigger warnings for the story in its tags in mind, Section 2 deals with some heavy stuff from my own personal life and just with Grell/e in general, though I explain this more in the precursory paragraph to that section so you are warned beforehand. Enjoy!

Chapter 2 is out, it’s great, it hits me in the feelings so much and is just all around amazing. If you haven’t read it, go do so first because while I will still go though this analysis like I did previously where it’s side-by-side, the chapter needs to be read and soaked in first. There’s heavy ideals here, especially at the end so take the time to go through and read the chapter on its own and then come back over here. …You read it? Good, alright let’s get this show on the road then!

So this chapter is 6k words worth of happiness until it gets worse and isn’t happy anymore and then I start to tear up because Ell is mean /j. There isn’t really weather to comment on at the start here so I’m gonna take this time to correct myself on some things from my Chapter 1 analysis, specifically the pigs and hands.

So for Chapter 1, there’s a whole part where I talk about what pig’s blood means and I was completely wrong. So I’m gonna correct it now. In the Book of Circus episode that Ell referred me to, I overlooked Grelle calling Beast an “ugly old sow” as just a one-off thing when really that’s what I should have focused on. Calling a woman a “sow” is an insult and so when the word “sow” is used, it’s supposed to refer to an actual woman, not an actual pig. I think too literally sometimes and it leads to my demise and the destruction of my mind when everything clicks. At this point, I’d like to point you to the Prelude when Grelle has sow’s blood on her…yeah…my mind went SHSDJHAKA too. So now we know that Grellie is gonna go murder someone at some point right before she dies and I can’t tell if I’m excited for it or not.

The other thing was the hands that I had said in my Chapter 1 analysis I couldn’t get at 10 PM running on little sleep, but was later told to me to be like a comparison to show how big they are. It's a dysphoria thing. Because you know men are like “bigger” and he notices how big his hands are in comparison to hers so Grell don’t like it.

Oh! Also the name Grell means bright like as in smart so when George and unnamed man who isn’t unnamed anymore says he takes after his name, it’s a compliment, they’re calling him smart. I think that’s all and if not, then you’ll hear about it in Chapter 3’s analysis.

In the last analysis, I did over six thousand words of paragraph analysis. I will do my best to not do that again. I’ve been suggested to try bullet points. I will be trying bullet points. If I exceed the word count of this chapter once again, I will…I don’t know I’ll do something (maybe finally do the next chapter of forever forgiveness that’d be nice huh) So let’s go on and see how bullet points go. This analysis will be broken down into two sections this time, mother/son bonding and The Mirror Scene™, fyi. Okay let’s go

Section 1: Mother/Son Bonding

Descriptions and cinematography

This is just in general but I still wanna point it out, Ell has an amazing way of describing things that make the whole story cinematographic almost. I’m one of those people who can’t see pictures in their mind, like I think in words. When reading tsogtr, though, I can see it. It’s new for me, that’s why I’m pointing it out. Just while you’re reading, really take the time to imagine everything because, especially later like with The Mirror Scene™ I can see it and there’s like a whole movie playing in my head and I love it.

Small Room

This just adds to me the whole idea of Friedrich specifically viewing Grell as a child. You could argue that Hilary is the same way, but I think her viewing Grell as a child is more of in a motherly “that’s my baby; always has been, always will be” kind of way while Friedrich is more of a “he’s a child who needs to grow up” kind of way. The fact that Grell’s room is small isn’t just mentioned here, it’s also later on, but I’ll go into that later.

Bullying and Hilary’s kind words and gestures

Hilary loves her son, her baby, and I will say that to my grave. Her gestures and words give off so much warmth and love in this whole scene and it’s just so apparent. Rather than scolding Grell for forgetting things (like a certain someone might have), she sees that he’s upset and that something might have happened. She doesn’t demand it of him, she doesn’t get upset at his lack of words, she sees her child, her baby, struggling and wants to help. She knows of the bullying that was mentioned in the past, and she’s worried for Grell. Hilary’s patient with him, even while he’s stuttering out his words. She has probably always been a safe space for Grell and the way that she just sits with him and lets him take his time shows it so well.

“...as though a spectre was afoot.”

Well… it’s not a ghost…But it is a reaper! :D Okay sorry I’m not funny continuing

George and Keats

Authors huh. I don’t know which George this is about, I’m gonna go with Orwell because I hate Animal Farm but it’s ingrained into me thanks to high school. Keats, I’m gonna imagine him as the physical embodiment of Keats the snake because I think it’s funny. There’s no reason to mention this part of the commentary, I’m just putting it in because I can. George and Keats aren’t important and I’ll be thoroughly surprised if they show up again

They are, in my mind, a form of “and they were roommates” because they’re always described as a pair. So yeah. And they were roommates.

I think it’s a little interesting that the two stopped visiting as much after Grell was born. There’s reference to it and after better confirmation, I think it’s worth mentioning that Hilary is heavily alluded to having been a prostitute before Grell was born. With how George and Keats said that she was always a pleasure to see (and considering that Grell probably didn’t understand because I don’t think he knows), they most likely were…frequent employers…to our favorite momma. So once Grell was born, that would explain why they would only talk to Friedrich at the bar. They don’t see Hilary anymore because they’ve moved on and it’s probably awkward to see the accidental child that is Grell Sutcliff.

Hilary throwing hands

Grell is very prone to overthinking to the point where his worries turn into little scenes that he sees in his head. He’s very anxious and the fact that this is something that’s happened twice in the same day really shows that. (Yes it is the same day, the talk with Friedrich from the beginning of the last chapter happened the morning of this day that’s here. The time is ambiguous, but I imagine that this conversation happens sometime between like 4-5 pm.)

Anyways, momma Hilary would 100% throw hands for Grell

“You know what I see?”

(This encompasses the parts from Grell explaining the roommates calling him like his father and beyond, I just used the quote because I liked it for this section of the section) We already know why Grell was uncomfortable and all, so all to right before the quote I put up there is just reaffirming it and showing how he invalidates his feelings, even to someone who clearly cares.

I think Hilary knows that Grell isn’t himself, not necessarily in a trans way but more in a I just need to show him that he isn’t his father and is his own person who needs more confidence kind of way. Either way, now starts my favorite scene in this whole chapter where Hilary’s just making Grell feel better and highlighting all of like his features in a way that she knows will make him feel better and I wanted to cry reading this. Anyways, she’s just making him feel better in that way that good mommas do with their kids. (Grell has green eyes idk how to insert this but he does and that might come up again once he isn’t a he anymore and really goes into that “damage cliff” stuff iykyk). She goes on and affirms that they’re “like dawn and dusk” and that they love him. As for her basically calling them two sides of the same coin, obviously Friedrich is gonna end up as a catalyst for Grell/e’s anger and I think that that can be seen as foreshadowing in a way for it.

Where did the fried egg (Friedrich; get it, fried egg, fried rich, eggs are expensive in the US right now among other things, eh, eh. It’s okay I’m not funny) go

He’s on a summons. In a noble’s manor. The next town over. Now I’m not saying that this will be important (that’s exactly what I’m saying) and it’s totally not because I know too much about the future of this story (I know a lot about the future of this story). Just. This is foreshadowing, just keep that in mind. The fried egg also told Hilary about Grell losing the job with fish and she’s plenty more supportive than the egg about it and shows as such by brushing over it and continuing on.

“I’ve always believed the eyes were the windows to the soul. Everybody’s are different, darling.”

We have more foreshadowingggg. And also sadness. First, “eyes are the windows to the soul”, is a little ironic considering that Grell is about to lose his soul at some point soon. Second, “Everybody’s are different”, until you’ve killed yourself and are dead 🥰

Okay but no actually like it’s interesting that this is something that Hilary brings up, especially in a series where eyes mean so much both in tsogtr and kuro in general. Like demons have reddish tinted eyes and full on red when they’re in demon mode, reapers have the double green, Ciel has his demon contract in his eye. Eyes really do show the soul or lack thereof and while, yes, this is just a usual metaphor that’s been said for a long time and doesn’t have a literal meaning, but in this case it can be both and that’s interesting.

Baby Grell

He was a little shit. At least in Friedrich’s pov he probably was.

Also just imagine Grell as a naked ass child running around to not go into the bath like it’s just funny and adorable at the same time. I can imagine him doing it since he was baby baby and I don’t like kids but Grell can be the exception

✨ Makeup ✨

It’s a nice moment between them and one that gives me hope that Hilary will accept Grelle. Due to the time period, it’s still not a huge chance, but a chance nonetheless and I will hold on to it like my life depends on it. And Grell putting the lip paint on his mother makes it feel warmer too like it’s just a nice time.

Okay part 1 of Section 1 done. It’s shorter than I thought it was gonna be, so like, that’s a win for me. There wasn’t much to analyze here (there was another mention of pigs and they have become an arch enemy for me but it literally means nothing. eventually bees will join this list, but that’s to be talked about in another chapter). Oh yeah and I say part 1 because I combined two scenes into one section this is just my little interlude for it. Take a break, get some water, get a snack. Okay let’s continue.

Bread making

More wholesomeness. As a baker, this scene makes me very happy, especially because they made a competition out of it and I just folded at that. Someone come do this with me, we’ll make whatever sweets you want it doesn’t have to be bread I’ve made many things before so we can do it I’m open to literally anyone. Let’s make a platonic discord date out of it we can bake on call together. (That’s all mostly /j like unless we have open communication that’s just me being lonely)

ANYWAYS THAT WAS A BIG DIGRESSION

She gave him a big smooch :( /pos I love them so much you have no idea Ell if you hurt Hilary I’ll stop analyzing this story /j

I can’t say anything about Grell because we know where that’s going

Dancey Dance

I’m pretty sure “junge” means boy in German so Grell calling his mother that is funny to me because she probably doesn’t speak it either and so would never notice and it shows how bad he is at German despite his father calling him that in the morning. Silly Grell, it’s okay we’ll always love you. Edit: All of that is not as intended…there’s my interpretation but it isn’t meant to be like that it’s more the two making fun of Friedrich. So yeah.

More memories of dancey dancing but Hilary brings up how Grell’s grown up so fast. She says “You just loved me too much to leave” which, in context, is about how Grell was overdue in his birth, but is also just really making the foreshadowing about the inevitable really hurt more. This goes even further when she says how “the place would be empty without you.” Grell is the heart that’s kept Hilary going these years and she loves him just as much as he her, probably even moreso. Let’s be real here, Grell was not a baby who was created on purpose. Hilary was a prostitute, and a young one at that. She isn’t older than 45 which, if you do the math seeing as Grell is 27, means that she had him at MOST at 18. The estimated age is around 15-18. Friedrich is obviously older, having been probably around 21ish when Grell was born and is now in his late 40s (48-50). Grell was not made on purpose so for Hilary to have gone through with the pregnancy so young and immediately going on to marrying the man she had a baby with must have been a lot for her. It’s not like she would’ve had many options but to keep Grell but still. We all know the Circus arc, abandoning kids isn’t far off and she could’ve easily done the same. Grell kept her going and so when the inevitable Cliff Scene™, as I am now dubbing it, comes along, I know that I won’t be able to resist thinking about Hilary when she eventually learns of her baby’s death. End scene.

I said it didn’t I? I said I’d make things shorter. And I have delivered. (Future Em here: the whole thing is 4.5k words. Which technically is shorter so I do win ha) The thing is, now we’re on to the Mirror Scene. If you are reading both this and the story side by side, now is the time when I tell you to stop, go read the scene properly, and then come back. Trust me, you’ll need it. The Mirror Scene™ is one that’s full of heavy, heavy feelings and ideology that hit me hard. There are trigger warnings for nudity and dysphoria, and they should be taken into account before reading. This is an important scene towards setting up Grelle and will be coming back in the future. I am not transgender individual and so if I say something that is in bad taste or offensive, please do not hesitate to let me know. In this section, I also talk about my own struggles from being a kid and now with how I perceive myself, so be warned of that. It starts right after the paragraph about Grell turning the mirror around. If there is one thing I could ask of everyone, it’s to be kind to me about that part and if you don’t wanna see it, don’t read it. But let me talk about it for my own sake. With that being said:

Section 2: The Mirror Scene

I’m going back to paragraphs, this isn’t a bullet point endeavor. So the scene opens and Grellie’s having a bath. We got the setup and we get a reiteration of how small Grell’s room is. Most importantly in this description is that where he bathes gives a direct path to his reflection.

This reflection is the whole thing which sets up the scene. It’s generally something that happens to a lot of people where they become insecure at what they see in the mirror, whether because of just general insecurity pushed by beauty ideals, or something which takes root in the mind and festers and grows into something much worse. The latter of this is true for Grell. He perceives himself in his mind much differently from how he looks in real life. Grell isn’t the perfect self he sees in his mind. Again, this is something that a lot of people feel, but for him, it’s much deeper than that. He knows what he wants to see, the perfect self in his mind, however knows that that will never be him. Grell, in his mind, can never be the person who he always sees in himself, almost as if he’s locked away in a cage of who he is on the outside. The light might seem so close and the corners of the room he’s in are visible in the near pitch black, but it never gets closer nor further away. It’s a detachment from the mind yet also something that is ever present in the corners of it. This anxiety and these feelings are described as a God-given punishment and a “flesh-eating disease” in a fitting way which shows the internalized turmoil he feels from feeling this way. I asked Ell about Hilary not having aborted Grell and she had told me about how, before Grell, Hilary wasn’t as connected to religion but that after she is somewhat religious. Grell also says how he’s read biblical verses in school (though it is said “unwillingly” which suggests that neither Hilary or Friedrich cared much about having Grell submit to a religion). Obviously he knows about the whole idea that “God doesn’t make mistakes” and so to be feeling that he, in the body he was gifted and blessed with, is not his true self is a high sin. It’s the disease that eats away at his brain, the sin which keeps him from being true. Even with Hilary letting him try things for fun at times or if Friedrich was more open to it, Grell has that internalized turmoil of what he has been taught versus what he is.

Then we get to the rituals he would do to lessen his, let’s be honest, dysphoria (there is also the dysmorphia which is implied but the two tend to go hand-in-hand sometimes so I’ll touch on it more as the scene progresses but in a general sense, what Grell is feeling dysphoric). He starts slow with just turning the mirror around which seems like a pretty good idea. He doesn't have to perceive his true being when clothed or when naked and you know what that sounds like a pretty good deal. Except then he gets asked about it and oh shit I need an excuse and oh fuck I’m not a good liar and I can’t really tell people the real reason I’m doing this and uh uh uh I need a new solution.

Something I wanna intercept this stream with here is the image of Grell having panic attacks in his room. It’s small, we know this, I keep bringing it up and so like unless he goes and has his attacks (because you cannot tell me that Grell Sutcliff has never had a case of semi-frequent panic attacks he literally had one in the first chapter and felt so much anxiety about his new job before that he ended up throwing up) on his bed, the floor is the only option. With the layout we were given, I bet you that the floor he’d have these attacks on were- wouldn’t you know it- right in front of that damn mirror. So while he’s already feeling bad, I want you to imagine Grell sitting on his floor facing the mirror or being able to at least see himself in the mirror at some point in the midst of a panic attack. And all those thoughts of his dysphoria coming in to join the party. But I digress.

Next solution, wear a shirt over yourself. The thinking for why he does it is much different than what I’m gonna compare it to, but I’m gonna do it anyway. When I first read this part, I was immediately thrown back into little Em’s mind when they used to go to the pool with their friends and were always told that they had to wear a large shirt over themselves in order to go swimming. For those who don’t know, this is something that a lot of parents do to cover up their children’s bodies from pervs, however, I, at the ripe age of 10 and even beyond to now at 19, have never been a skinny kid. I was always the fat kid and not the fat where you just developed early and wow look it’s the 12 year old with boobs (though that too), I was the fat kid who was told by my relatives to stop wearing short sleeved shirts because my arms were too fat to make it look right or to stop wearing shorts because my thighs were too big. I still keep that ideology to this day as I reach 20 this year and have not owned a pair of shorts since I was 11. Anyways, Grell wearing a shirt to bathe in reminded me of all of this because that’s what I would do. I’d wear a shirt in the shower, to the pool, and I’m sure if I ever went to a waterpark, I’d wear it there too. This isn’t all for analysis purposes that I’m mentioning this, rather it’s because this is a part which I, Em, the author of this post, hi, hello, how’s it going, resonated with very much so. I mentioned in the little disclaimer before this part, I am not a transgender individual. But for those who were following me up until like two weeks ago know, I recently changed my pronouns and while I don’t have a label for myself quite yet, this part with Grell using a nightshirt to cover himself as a way to not have to be perceived even if it’s just be himself, calling it an “unremovable suit of man’s skin”, and saying how he has a “loathing for his own form” hit me in a place I didn’t need to be hit (/hj). I heavily considered not mentioning my own feelings about this part, but to do so would be a disservice to myself, to the little girl who I once was, and to the character who has helped me through some of these feelings. And, of course, to all of the other people who may or may not see this post, read what I said, and think to themselves “I’m not alone.” I hope you enjoyed looking a bit more into who I am as a person and why I am who I am because I sure didn’t (/j). If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, please, please, please never hesitate to reach out to me. I will always be there as best I can for those who need it. /gen

Anyways, that sad stuff is over, so let’s get back into the sad stuff that we came here for :D The delusion that the shirt will help, even if just for the moment, and the idea that maybe one day, just maybe, things will change overnight, is such a hurtful thought. Partly because the delusion and false hope of it all can just cause more harm and disappointment as time goes on but also because it’s just sad. Grell is stuck in this endless cycle and because of his internalized fears, the cycle is destined to never end. He studies himself, as if he’s an external being rather than the body that inhabits his brain. He convinces himself he’s sick. Someone who would be locked away as delusional. He hides his thoughts of her away in fear of what could happen lest he make herself truly known.

Describing her body, she doesn’t connect much to herself really. Sure, Grelle may deem it as “his limbs” or even “his penis” but it’s as she says, it’s not a combination of words which resonates with her. That isn’t her body that she sees, yet she’s still faced with the unfortunate reality that she is connected to it. Scars might be easy to conceal, but the weight will always remain. Disfigurement might not make the essential bane of her existence go away, but it can conceal some of it. Alternatively, the scar of her penis is one which is too big to conceal properly, no matter how much she may try. It’s there. She can try and get rid of it, but the scar will always remain, figuratively and literally in the case of bottom surgery.

Then we get to the apex of the mirror scene- Grell’s art skills. Okay no but seriously, Grell lets Grelle take over here as she draws out herself while, internally, Grell is almost panicking, coming to full terms with what is really going on. He sees herself; the her who has always been in the back of his mind, plaguing his inner thoughts of his perception versus his reality. He sees who she is for the first time visually, properly, in the real world. And she loves it. She doesn’t see herself as ugly, she sees herself as her. Grelle is finally seeing what she was always missing for the past 27 years.

And then reality comes back.

The big takeaway besides the obvious reveal and realization of Grelle versus Grell is the fact that he never erased the image. One could argue “oh but he does it later”; does he random person?? Does he really?? Because I think that in the abrupt snap from Grelle to Grell, I don’t think he does. I think he’s gonna finish getting dressed, and then go back to the kitchen and leave the mirror as it is with the image of Grelle on it. I think that this is going to cause problems. Hell, I know this is gonna cause problems. But that, dear friends, is something which will be properly revealed in the next chapter of The Story of Grelle the Reaper. Until next time. (*in a matpat voice* But hey, that’s just a theory, a Grelle theory, thanks for reading. Sorry, I had to lol.)

~~~

There is so much to love about this story from the way it's written, to the relationships between the characters, to how much detail is being paid attention to here. If you'd like to be tagged, feel free to leave an ask or a reply and I will gladly add you to the taglist for the analysisisis that I do on tsogtr. And if you have any of your own theories or comments, leave those too! I'd love to start a section where we can talk about all of our theories, especially as things pick up more and more. Until next chapter!

Taglist: @hobbit-in-kuroshitsuji @superjelly11

#the story of grelle the reaper #tsogtr #em's analysis #em's recs #em's obsessions #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji grelle #kuroshitsuji grell #black butler #black butler grell #black butler grelle #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #analysis #fic analysis

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 9 months

Text

I JUST FINISHED EPISODE EIGHT AND AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I LOVED IT SOOOOO MUCH 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰!!!!

OKAY FIRST OF ALL ISAAACCCCC MY BOYYY 🥰🥰🥰😭❤️❤️. He's been going through it but AAAHHHHH HE GRABBED THE ASEXUAL BOOK!!! I am so proud of him 🥰🥰🥰 though sir did you steal that- anyway he is in fact the most adorable ever and I love him with my whole heart 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ <3333 :)) :DD!!! He <33.

TAO AND ELLE ARE SO ADORABLEEE!!!! AND ELLE'S GOING TO LAMBERT :'DDD!!! AND ALSO THEY'RE OFFICIALLY BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! WHOOOOO :'DDDD 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎊!!! AND WHEN THEY FIRST SAW EACH OTHER FOR PROM 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🥰. Also their dancing SLAYED like yes they were holding up the dance floor out there 😌 (I think one of them said something like that to one of them but if not eh I still say it lol). And their pictures 🥰🥰. So cute <3. Also poor Tao trying to read her dad xD. But yeah love them so much <3333.

MY TEACHERSSSS!!!! MY TEACHER BABEYSSSS!!!! MR. AJAYI AND MR. FAROUK :'DDDDD!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰. ALSO THE SCENE OF THE COUCH (SINGH?) TELLING HIM TO INVITE HIM SLFJGHDKHLS LOVELY. Speaking of though is every teacher at this school gay xD. Like I don't mind it at all but xD- anyway they are in fact THE most adorable <333. Also SO glad they're slightly more functional than our teenagers (though tbh who knows if it's because they're adults) and didn't just go "oh yeah :')" about it being something they shouldn't have done lol. But AAHHHH he invited him out :'D and AAAHHHHHH they're so cute 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️😭❤️❤️. Good crying, lol <3. I love them your honor :)).

IMOGENNN :OOO??! MY GIRL!! ARE YOU CRUSHING ON SAHAR?? :DDD?? Either way love you girl happy for you over all 🥰🥰🥰. Hope you do find someone if you want though :)) ❤️❤️❤️🥰. Love her <3.

Also I know we barely saw her but Tori always so hard 😌😌😌. As always, lol xD. I love her so much <333. Just- HER <333 🥰🥰❤️😭. Good tears xD :)).

TARA AND DARCY MY BABES 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. POOR TARA THE WHOLE DAY WAITING FOR DARCY AND WORRYING ABOUT HER 😭😭😭💔❤️. AND POOR DARCY OF COURSE ALONE AND LITERALLY SLEEPING AT A PARK 😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️. But then her finally showing up :')). BUT TARA HAVING GONE TO FIND HER 😭😭😭❤️❤️. I cry because they love each other so much and she wanted to make sure Darcy was okay but also because they missed each other xd. And VJEUANDPK DARCY'S MOMMMM- I AM READY TO KILL AND MAIM THANK YOU <3333. READY TO MURDER HER!! <3333. Poor Darcy 😭❤️. But their conversation :')). I feel so bad for her 😭 honey she LOVES you, no matter what <333. You're going through a lot and I'm sure this new part of your life (for her) is gonna take some getting used to but you love each other and you can always count on each other :')). And AAAHHHHH ALL THOSE "I LOVE YOU"S 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️😭😭❤️. GOOD CRYING DON'T WORRY :'DDD. Y'ALL I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰. T h e m <333.

CHARLIE AND NICK ARE MY BABEYS THANK YOU VERY MUCH <33333!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🥰🥰🥰😭😭❤️❤️. Good crying :')). AAAHHHHHHHHH NICK LIKE FULLY TOTALLY CAME OUT :'DDDD!!! I LOVE HIM ❤️❤️❤️❤️😭🥰. AND S T O P CHARLIE'S REACTION :'DDDD. Listen I love them all so much <333. All came to my mind for that sentence and it's true so we're rolling with it. But seriously them finally getting to be Out, like do whatever 🥰🥰🥰🥰. I'm so happy for them :')) <33. And then them deciding to leave xDD. Honestly slay lol. At least they went for a bit, that's good enough for me LOL xD.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH ALL OF THEM AT THEIR OWN LITTLE PERSONAL PROM :'DDDD!! Like together I mean lol. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰. THEY WERE ALL SO CUTE 🥰🥰🥰. And tbh that looks like so much fun :DD. I do wish Tara and Darcy got to have a chance to be at prom together for a little while but eh yaknow :DD. This was so adorable so I'll be fine 🥰🥰 xD. Also AWW all their goodbye hugs 🥰🥰❤️. I love them all so much <333 😭🥰❤️❤️🥰.

Had to put that before the sad stuff lol xD. Now, back to Nick and Charlie 🥰. First of all that rugby camp story is adorable and hilarious 🥰 xD, and my boys are so adorable 🥰🥰. Now xd 😭. Seeing (hearing) more of Charlie's backstory was so good and SO heartbreaking 😭💔❤️. And speaking of, Nick talking to Tao was so sad and so good <333. And the same goes for his talk with Tara - it was leading up to this all episode :') 😭❤️. And it seriously was amazing. Like I haven't mentioned this so far but the ACTING!!! Y'all the acting from everyone, in this entire show (as in always) is AMAZING!! Just stunning, absolutely phenomenal. Anyway, I did know the basics of Charlie's backstory, just stuff I've found out (like form tumblr or tiktok), but seeing it portrayed in the show is just heartbreaking. It's done so well but I just feel so bad for my boy 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️❤️. And Nick supporting him <3333. It's just- FLAWLESS 😭, I LOVE THEM <3333!! AND THEN- AAAHHHHHH!!!! ALMOST AN I LOVE YOU!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Their goodbye :')) stop they're so cute <333. Also I found it fun that they were mismatched, like Charlie looked formal form the bottom half and Nick looked formal for the top half lol xD. Anyway 🥰. I love them so much <33. Also tell me why I was so stressed xD. Like I was like "please don't be a bad cliffhanger please don't be a bad cliffhanger" xD. Out here like "CHARLIE WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING PLEASE" XDD. You just can't take any chances lol 😭 xDD. But then AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I knew he wasn't gonna send it especially since I was pretty sure there would be a cliffhanger but still AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HAD HOPE XDDD!! STILL THOUGH AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰!!! I'M NOT OKAY <3333.

I seriously loved this episode, and this entire season, SO much :'))). I'm sure I'll have more to say so I'll either edit this or make more posts lol, but right now, I'm just so happy <333. It was so good, I loved it so much :)). Also, I managed to watch the entire show in less than 12 hours, which included doing several other things xDD. So, slay for me lol XD.

Oh, and as I joked to my mom, THE COUPLES!! ALL THE COUPLES!! SO MANY COUPLES LOL!! And even just relationship plots like with Isaac xD! I love them all though don't get me wrong lol <333. I was just post episode 6 talking to my mom like "and then even the TEACHERS got together" XDD. I love them all, seriously <3333 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️.

What an amazing episode, and an amazing season :). They all had such great growth, and I loved everyone's individual storylines :')). Heartstopper is just genuinely such a beautiful story - or like, a billion (okay like a dozen lol) beautiful stories wrapped up in one :')). It's so crazy to me that this can exist, that I get to see something this beautiful and sweet and silly and queer :'D. I love it so much, and I'm so grateful <333.

Thank you so much to the cast and creators, y'all rock :)). It's amazing, congratulations and spectacular job 🥰🥰🥰❤️.

I love this show so much y'all :'D.

AH okay :')). It's just past midnight and I wanna go reblog some posts lol, so I'll finish this up :D.

AND THAT'S THE END OF HEARTSTOPPER SEASON 2!!! SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIME :'D 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰❤️!!!!!

#heartstopper #oasis's heartstopper chatter #heartstopper spoilers #you will also see me in about two minutes when I reblog some heartstopper posts lol #also I will be committing fraud later and changing the date of this to third because goshdarnit I basically finished it (this) yesterday lol #and I wanna have it and my first few reblogs day of okay xD #anyway #I loved this show so much 🥰🥰🥰❤️#so excited for whatever comes next :D #and I really do need to get around to reading the books lol #despite the pain xD #but anyway :)#MY BABEYS ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 <33 #ALL 🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#LOVELY THANK YOU VERY MUCH :DDDD 🥰🥰🥰 :'DD <3333!!#also I think I forgot to say it in any of my end of/post episode posts but I love tao's mom SO MUCH #with my entire heart #with my entire soul #WITH ALL MY LOVE #I love her so much xDD #I just adore her <33 #and also she is such a mood lol slfkghdjkflks #anyway xDD #this has been so fun and such a great journey 🥰🥰🥰#now - I'm off!!!#time to go reblog a few posts before going to freak out about them some more and probaly watch youtube videos or tikok or read fanfic lol :D #about them of course xD #mainly because let's be real I get distracted lol #I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!

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riverstardis · 1 year

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series 32 episode 25:

ooh that transition was cool, with the kid going from young to a teenager, but how did they keep his facial features the same? maybe they used siblings? or just cgi?

oh this ep was written by jon sen!

"them days aren't behind me yet, samantha" "oh they will be if you call me samantha again" damn, sam's so fit, especially when she's threatening iain

ahh alicia's off to her dad's 60th after her shift, or she's planning to be

aww ethan thanking alicia for last night and also saying how he doesn't want it to be awkward at work because now he's her boss and she's like "boss? okay yeah, strictly professional within these four walls, but outside you're all mine"🥺🥺🥺 ethan doesn't look completely hopeless for the first time in a while

glen doesn't like that charlotte's surname is miller not thomas? well maybe if you were around and hadn't left robyn at the alter mate

elle asks ethan why her patients are being moved out of cdu but he didn't know about it but he does know that connie's in for chemo so he goes to speak to her and yep management asked her opinion and she gave the order🙃

"the problem with you, ethan, is that the job requires tough decisions and you're petrified of upsetting anyone" real

"i try to respect my colleagues" "no, you just want to make friends, don't you? a little pat on the back at the end of the shift, you're in the wrong job" HUH???? connie are you not the one who put him in the job in the first place??????? is she directing anger at him because she's still embarrassed about The Kiss in london? cause he was there for her for so long and now she's just turned on him??? it's now that she doesn't need his help anymore i guess

ethan looks like he's about to cry :(

glen's signing charlotte up to nursery or something under the name 'charlotte thomas'??? bro you can't just change her name like that???

alicia asks noel and louise what they're looking at and they say there's a load of comments on rage in resus begging for another post and alicia's like "it's a hard gig running this place" and noel says sarcastically "yeah, and he makes it look so easy doesn't he" and laughs right as ethan comes up behind him😭 poor ethan :( at least alicia's trying to stick up for him

elle's patient has a swastika tattoo :/

the hospital's finance managers paying ethan a visit to say the ed's overspent on their budget :/

ethan telling alicia to hold off on ordering blood for a patient because if they can get her to theatre fast enough they can get keller to pay for the blood. alicia asks what if she crashes but he says he HAS to make savings and she's his patient so it's his decision and she gives in like "you're the boss" and he's like "yes, i am, so why does everyone keep questioning my decisions!" :( and alicia goes and orders the blood anyway😭

wait wasn't saving on blood the topic of his cost-cutting proposal in s28?? the one that cal stole? huh that's funny i wonder if they remembered that when they wrote this

"it's gonna cost this department thousands!" "who cares?!" "i do! alicia, that is my job!"😭😭😭

"i have to make this budget work, okay? because if i don't, the board are gonna get rid of me *clicks* like that. i'm not a failure. every other part of my life might be a car crash but i am not gonna fail at this."😥😥😥😥 aw alicia's face when he says that😭 and he looks like he's gonna cry again :(( you see!! why would they not address his mental health after this???????? alicia goes "nobody thinks that" and he gives her a disbelieving 'really?' look and she goes "well at least, nobody that matters. you are amazing at what you do."🥺

ethan's eyes are back to looking depressed again :( the tiny glimpse of possible happiness at the beginning was incredibly short lived

"the situation's a lot worse than i thought. all my ideas to save money, it's not enough. mrs beauchamp said i couldn't handle this" "well then prove her wrong! do what you need to do, ethan, and no matter what that is, i will be right behind you" lies! ethan believes her and goes to speak to serena campbell. i assume she was the ceo at the time?

robyn and glen are engaged. again.

ethan's closing down the cdu and also cancelling all the staff's leave

alicia had leave booked for her dad's party and tries to talk to him and he's like "you said you would back me whatever i did" and she's like "well yeah but..." and she tries to take his hand but he pulls away and reminds her that he's her boss and "when we're here, i tell you what to do and you do it" and she's like "ethan, this isn't you talking" and he goes "it is now." ... yup. that about sums it up🙃 oh he carries on "it has to be." while looking about to cry again :(

noel going "yknow i would love to know what rage in resus thinks about all this then" and alicia goes "so would i" under her breath😭😭

i wonder if she would've actually stopped the blog on her own accord if not for this new development?

#classic casualty #S32E25

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resilientkitteh · 2 years

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Random Heartstopper Rewatch Fun! Episode 2: Crush

This will be a lot like my last post over the first episode so buckle up and on we go!!!

Okay so first off Charlie is adorable and awesome and I LOVE HIM. He can play the drums so well too which is EPIC!!! Anyways I love the way that Nick is like stalking his insta right now and like getting an even better feeling fur the type of person Charlie is! Also yay fur another cat purrson!!!

Kit's acting skills are on POINT and just fucking amazing! That picture where he thinks about how it must have been fur Charlie to be bullied in the corridors and such and the way that he is tearing up just gets me! Also they are adorable and I just really relate to constantly having to retype certain messages a million times XD

Charlie trying to figure out how to respond and like stop Nick from worrying and being so stressed about it that he shouts is a mood and I have been there! Also Nellie is the best little doggo ESA and I LOVE HER!!!! Points to Nick fur getting Charlie to open up, well done sir, very well done! Also awwwwww Nick cares about Charlieeeee!!!! I mean it's hella obvious to like everyone but it's still cute and Charlie's brain is stubborn af so he needs to hear that a lot!

And we are back to Ben the dickbag…FUCK you sir, okay?? Like you are being all nice and shit just so you can use this sweet little gay cinnamon roll and I really don't like you.

Charlie apologizing fur exposing that Ben is a dick is just…oh my goodness you adorable little cinnamon roll stop apologizing!!! Nick being super understanding and supportive here is such a win! I love it! Also dumb way to try and see if someone is straight Charlie…just saying lol But then again Nick is all confused soooo there is that. Nick's little smile when Charlie sends that heart emoji though!!!! Squeeeeeee it's adorable and I LOVE IT.

And we are at Higgs! Well done avoiding having someone assigned to look after you Elle! Seriously that sounds terrifying to me and just like it could end badly. Granted Tara is amazing but getting people to hang out with you because an adult is like do this thing please is not a fun time. Also Elle just go say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

I really love the song Girls it's adorable and so accurate also it's nice to have so many gay songs in this showwwww!!!!!!!!

I LOVE how everyone is like "Nick is a massive heterosexual" and yetttttt it's like you don't know that. Just being masculine and good at sports doesn't make you straight!!!!!

Oh my goodness this convo with Mr. Ajayi is just like one of my favorite things ever! First there is "a question for the ages" which is incredibly accurate and I feel like so many of us have been there like shit we fell fur the straight person. UGH. Anyways onto his very accurate in my years at least line of "being a teenager is terrible" and I am like yaas an adult who gets it! Though I am sure he is also being somewhat overdramatic but like yeah it's not a fun time, or at least it's not fur a lot of us…

"I'm afraid you're just going to have to suffer then." Like I just love how open he is about it and like I gave you other solutions but you said no so alas that means you must suffer as all of us do when we fall fur a straight person. And also just Charlie being adamant of like NO I am gonna be his friend I don't care if it hurts I want to be near him! It's just precious!

Elle has a friend!!! I love how just nice and accepting and inviting Tara is, she is really an epic friend! Though I also had to chuckle at Elle's hesitation like…do you actually want me to come have lunch with you or were you voluntold? I get that feel.

Darcy has NO FILTER!!! Oh my goodness she makes me cackle so much! "Tara says you have no friends" also Tara's reactions to her words are always so fucking priceless to me. Darcy and Tara are purrfection together and I just really love their vibe and energy! They are so fun and great friends for Elle!

Nellie is adorable af and I love her! I also love how Nick is like showing off pictures of her to Charlie! Side note here, who hates animals so much that your kids can't have one?? Like even a little one or one that like has an enclosure or tank etc. That just bothers me is all anyways… Can we talk about how nonchalantly Nick invites over the OPENLY GAY kid!!!!!!!!! Like everyone thinks Nick is straight, he has some unfortunately homophobic people in his year and yet he is still just a great guy who wants to hang out with someone he really enjoys spending time with and doesn't seem to find it weird or anything. Just well clearly you have to come meet my dog then, obviously.

I swear you can see Charlie just light up when the idea of going to Nick's is mentioned and Idk I feel like (granted I was never really allowed out my house like ever) but going over to a friend's house is like a sign that you are close? So it's definitely not helping Charlie's intense crush on Nick but it makes him happy and he is starting to wonder if maybe there is something there? Or at least if he can spend even more time with his incredible and attractive new best friend. lol

The HAIR conversation with Tori just really sets up the whole adorableness with NICK in a few minutes and I FUCKING love it!!! Also Tori randomly appearing all the time is great and I am so glad I am not the only person who gets surprised all the fucking time by quite walkers. Charlie asking about his hair and Tori just insisting it LOOKS THE SAME is greatness and Charlie is just like why did I even ask you again? Clearly he is a little nervous and it's adorable and yeah I just love Charlie! They have a fun and yet very caring sibling relationship and I enjoy it! Nick being nervous about ringing that doorbell is precious and I am so glad he rang it!

The way that Nick and Charlie smile at each other whenever they first see each other is priceless and it makes my little shipper heart so fucking happy!!!!! Nellie is precious and adorable and I love how Charlie is like yep well I am gonna pet this doggo right now.

It takes Nick less than a MINUTE to realize Charlie got a haircut. I live with my partner and sometimes it takes me HOURS to realize that shit lol So yeah ummmm you are paying a LOT of attention to Charlie there Nick…just saying. And he just like immediately starts playing with it!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Squeeeeee!!! I LOVE IT! And Charlie being like…um oh I didn't expect you to notice…Then Nick catching himself and instead of telling Charlie that he looks great he says that his haircut looks great and just AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Like I saw you and what you were going to say just say it! lol Saved by Nellie whimpering to go out lol because like one of them would have had to keep going to fill the silence. Charlie's smile when he is like invited into the house is adorable!!!!!! He is so fucking happy!

The way that Nick just showers Charlie in compliments and words of affirmation is absolutely precious and it makes me so happy!! Squeeee also Charlie I love you but you are most definitely a nerd and at some point you are going to have to accept that. Can we talk about how much Nick seems to really admire Charlie? All those compliments and a list of things Charlie is good at is just so wonderful and with all Charlie has been through and is still going through it's so nice to see someone truly care about him for who he is and such and just AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Charlie putting his hand over Nick's mouth and practically sideways tackling him onto the bed is adorable and I just really LOVE how comfortable they are with each other!! AHHHHHHHH So fucking cute!!!! And I love how Nick is laughing the whole time he tries to fight back and get up. And as they sit back up and Charlie gets excited about something, Nick is just literally staring at Charlie with this goofy AF clearly head over heels in love grin on his face and it's precious and adorable and I LOVE IT!!! Charlie is staring out the window and doesn't notice it though.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Just trying to get that out because like I LOVE THIS WHOLE snow day scene so fucking much!! There is a reason it won an award and just AHHHHHHHHHH FEEEEELS my fangirl heart! Like it almost makes me wish I liked snow lol Anyways lets get into it, yeah? So first off, they just look at each other and wordlessly move off the bed in unison because like they are fucking going outside together. I LOVE THAT CHARLIE IS BORROWING NICK'S CLOTHES!!!!!!!! It's in the comic as well which I LOVE but it's just nice to see it and to see like Charlie trying them on and being soooooo little in them because Nick is like a tank compared to him lol and of course that hoodie looks good on Charlie, Nick, you have a crush on him and a lot of people love having their crushes wear their clothes...just saying...lol

"Dance with Me" Is a beautiful af song and definitely one I binge listen to alllllllllllllllll the fucking time! It's also just so perfect for this scene and these two because as you listen to the lyrics I feel like they just flow well with what the boys are feeling!

Nellie coming to play with them makes me super happy too because like she is adorable, they are adorable it just multiplies the ADORABLENESS!!!! And while Charlie is loving spending time with Nick I think spending time with Nellie is good for his mental health as well! Nick and Charlie having a snow ball fight is amazing and I LOVE it! Also that shot with Nick like tossing the snowball and catching it before throwing, idk it just always feels very skilled to me granted I generally hiss at the snow and try to hibernate so maybe it doesn't take that much skill? The way Charlie laughs when he hits Nick and just the sass and the way that they are so comfy with each other and just honestly having a good time makes my heart so happy!!! Nick just playing dirty and tossing a handful of snow on Charlie's head is adorable as well.

"But I think I really like you" from Dance With Me is so accurate for this scene and just AHHHHHHHHH I LOVE how perfect this soundtrack is, okay??????

And then NICK IS PLAYING WITH CHARLIE'S HAIR!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH Like how fucking cute and obvious can you be???? Which prompts Charlie to do the cute little nervous giggle and smile and just AHHHHHHHHHH then Charlie just starts making snow people and Nick is there just photographing him and I just CAN'T at how fucking cute and couply they ALREADY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!! And then Nick joins him and they have these two cute snow impressions that they make side by side hands nearly fucking brushing and just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why are you two so damn cute??? My heart is gonna do an explode, okay?

Then in comes Nellie to join and make the selfies even cuter!!! I love the way they are both smiling in the photos as well as how they SMILE AT EACH OTHER after taking more photos and they are just both so clearly into each other!!!!!!!!! Nellie is laying on Nick but touching Charlie too and just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT!!! So like couply and just like domestic-y though they aren't like married or anything I know but it's like homey and hopeful and precious and I love it! Also Nick just shouting more to the sky...I do that with rain so like I get it and he is adorable! I would also love so much more of this SCENE okay? I could watch all of the footage and just never be bored lol I LITERALLY repeat this scene almost every time I watch this episode! Skipping repeating it today was I am typing this monstrosity of FEEEEELS lol

I love Nick's cup and I don't really know why, I just do. I think it's cool that he has something that is clearly his I guess? Also yes Charlie is lovely, glad you noticed! Sarah Nelson is like a dream Mum, okay?

(about Charlie) "He's very different to your other friends, you seem much more yourself around him"

Nick, looking thoughtful and being like "Do I?" Then trying to spin the wheels to start his gay crisis as he is like what does that mean??? I think this guy is awesome, I want to spend all my time with him, he is adorable and cute and I just like so much about him and I feel comfortable with him...so what does this mean???? Or at least that is what I think Nick's internal monologue would sound like lol and that little chuckle at the end of it before the fade where he is like...yeah I guess you have a point there mum.

You can tell that Nick is like daydreaming about Charlie outside of the gate before he even pulls out his phone. Granted he is all sorts of confuse and not 100% sure why he needs to text Charlie but he does so out comes the phone. Imogen, I love you but go away you are not helping poor Nick! Random bit of info...hearing "your Mom" jokes doesn't sting any more so yay healing? Anyways onto the show! Nick now second guessing himself and his wants because Imogen opened her mouth and made him feel awkward about wanting to spend more time with Charlie so soon after spending time together...UGH Imogen...lol

Charlie watching Nick play rugby and his little smile AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so fucking cute and adorable!!!!!!! Tao trying to act like he knows rugby lol you are fooling no one lol Why is he so anti Nick??????? I feel like he is just not being nice when he says "rugby king" and then of course Tao is meddling and has innaccurate and very dated information on Nick's feelings and I know this and I am just screaming at my tv like why doesn't anyone just fucking ask NICK??????? And Charlie you are spot on little cutie so just keep dreaming and make your move!!!!!!!!!!!! And he was definitely flirting with you Charlie, 10000000% Ah yes Tao, please tell Charlie the name of this girl so he can obsess properly, thanks.

Oh hey look at that! They just won, everyone is celebrating AROUND Nick and guess who he is fucking WATCHING? His teammates on the field? His friends? His coach? NO. He is staring at CHARLIE and watching him!! Gazing longingly at the other boy! And you know waving at him and such after the game like "that was fur you" kind of how sometimes football players like hold the ball up after scoring? Anyways definitely an action I associate with love for the recipient! And Tao is doing a meddle again...however we have to talk about this line!

"As your token straight friend, it's my duty to remind you that sometimes people are straight. It's an unfortunate fact of life." Like I just love the drama here but also the way that he is trying to sympathize with Charlie even though he is straight and Charlie isn't. Idk it's just a great fucking line to me. Isaac shipping Nick and Charlie is amazing and epic and I love that his reasoning is that he wants to believe in romance. I just really find him very endearing and funny. And when he's excited Isaac seems to talk rapidly which I do so it makes me feel seen.

Elle being like will you 3 calm down and talk at a pace that someone can understand???? Lol then her response to Charlie liking Nick just oh my goodness!! Why does he have to be straight??? Y'all need to just talk to the guy!!! Tao's sassy face about Elle being the cool and mysterious new girl is just fucking adorable and I love them together! Charlie trying to brush off his crush with Nick and I am like you aren't being stupid, your friends are being stubborn headed and asssssssuming! Then Elle caves to ask if she has the chance and we get to see a cute little group hug and I really enjoy how close knit they are and I love seeing them all happy!

Suddenly, Elle gets the opportunity to ask!!! I do think it's so funny with Darcy's pronunciation and her hilarious "accidental" gender change when she answers the question, it's just a very cute moment! And how Tara just gives Darcy so much shit in a loving way they are super precious! Elle is already putting it together that they might be a couple...y'all are not as subtle as you think okay??

Oh my goodness Charlie's little sad cat pouty face when he is thinking Nick likes Tara is just adorable and sad and he needs a HUG. Specifically a NICK HUG!!! Can we talk about how they added like the blackness around the edges to symbolize like negative thoughts, depression and anxiety in this? I love it so much because it is so accurate like you are seeing the world as it is but all that darkness and awful thoughts and shit is just creeping in around the edges until it threatens to block out all the light and the good. I just really feel that and I LOVE the accuracy of it. So anyways Charlie does a depressive zone spiral thing and then BAM! Nick manages to get him back to reality and be like hellooooo what's going on?

Then when Charlie doesn't really seem to come out of his funk Nick is like okay, lemme move closer to you, give you my undivided attention and see what is the matter! Because Nick is that in tune with Charlie's emotions that he knows almost instinctively that something is off! I feel like you only have that connection with a few people so I LOVE how close they already are and just how into Charlie Nick is!!! Also the face he makes when Charlie is clearly struggling to say anything like AHHHHHHHH MY FEEEEELS!! Charlie you sir are a chicken and the coming drama could be avoided if you just asked your question!!!! lol But nice save inviting him to your house! And Nick's little happy chuckle and smile at being invited and also possibly just having his heart warmed that Charlie wants him to come over while finding Charlie being nervous to ask absolutely endearing!

And we are back to the world's least subtle lesbians lol XD Elle has it figured out! Mwahahahaha! Darcy, never become a spy lol "admiring Tara's hands" oooookay. Yay for them trusting Elle and Elle having her own Higgs Trio!!!!

AHHHHHH how are their smiles so fucking cute! They are just like ahh yes its you and I love you so big smile of love! And Nick really can't play the drums but I love his concentration and effort lol Also he just has great facial expressions so well done Kit! The fact that Charlie just sits on this TINY fucking stool right next to NICK, his CRUSH, just baffles me! He is clearly like oh this is safe I am teaching him something but like he totally takes Nick by surprise and teaches him something VERY different. Charlie is just so into the beat and the music and enjoying having Nick there to show the drums to and Nick is like enamored AF with Charlie and staring at their hands because Charlie is basically holding his hands, and then he just stares at Charlie's face and watches him get lost in the beat and just smiles at him lovingly and it's absolutely precious and just AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He just keeps looking back and forth from Charlie holding his hands to the cute drummer's face and I am dead! Also Charlie you sir are one oblivious teen at times lol That awkward bit of laughter at the end is adorable and just ahhhh!!! Charlie seems to eventually realize how close they are because he gets up and backs away with a lame excuse but it's whatever lol

And then we are downstairs and they are watching a movie together and I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!! Charlie is an adorable sleeper and watching Nick just like watch him and smile softly at him...and I feel like Nick knows without a doubt that Charlie trusts him at this point because like he is sleeping just out in the open next to him and it's not even that late so I hope he realizes that and it's part of why he smiles! And the fireworks as he puts his hand over Charlie's!!! AHHHHH!!!! And then he tries it again, but he just can't get his nerve to take Charlie's hand which is sad but also just fucking adorable!!!! Plus he now is aware that he wants to hold Charlie's hand so we have some progress towards his proper full on gay crisis so there is that. Also the way his heart is clearly racing is just so fucking realistic, it feels like that and I am just so glad with how it's portrayed!

Neither one of them wants the night to end!!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are so into each other and want to spend alllll the time together and it makes me so happy!!!! Nick I think the word you are looking for is "CUTE" not cuddly but I mean you aren't wrong with that choice...just not quite on the mark as to what you really are thinking...unless that means "I would really like to cuddle you" which is fair and far more accurate so well done! lol Nick's smile when he looks Charlie over again to affirm that he is indeed looking cuddly, is just so cute and nervous and into Charlie and I LOVE IT!!! And then suddenly Nick is hugging Charlie!!!!! Out of nowhere! And it takes Charlie by surprise so he like waits to respond and hug him back fur a bit like...tf is going on? But then he is like oh fuck Nick is HUGGING ME!!!!!!!!!! I need to hug him back! And I want to believe that they are both in their own little paradise regardless of any other emotions they are feeling in this moment. Just blisssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick being nervous and not really knowing how to explain his need to hug Charlie so not really making eye contact as he leaves is just too fucking cute and relatable! I LOVE HIM! And he is like "see you Monday" trying to not make it a big deal but they both know it's a BIG FUCKING DEAL. It wasn't even a short hug, okay? This was like at least a TEN SECOND HUG!!!!!!!!!!! Not your usual hug length for a friend unless you haven't seen them in furever I feel like and especially not a good bye see you in a day one...but that could just be me...

"I don't think he's straight." First off Tori I just really love you, okay? You are a great big sister and I love the way you are there for Charlie. Secondly I love how you just magically appear all the time and can clearer read people better than Charlie lol I also want to congratulate you on being the first person to even entertain the idea that Nick isn't straight, besides Charlie of course. So yeah thank you!!!!!!!!

And start Nick's gay panic mode, like hard core! As in enough to start googling lol poor Nick that shit is so hard to understand!!!! I love you so much and you have such an amazing journey and we were all rooting for you every step of the way! Also you are adorable and just so aware of yourself that I applaud you on that and for really trying to understand rather than bury it even though it is scary!

CHARLIE'S text to his friends makes me giggle so fucking much! the capitalization for Hot Straight Boy and the fact that he is like um is this normal??? Also it was a LONG hug, okay? I counted! Tao's sassy response is just very Tao and makes me giggle though not my favorite idea to put in Charlie's mind.

Nick just looking through his pictures with Charlie and smiling is so fucking cute and sweet!!! And we have ALL FUCKING DONE IT! Don't you lie! So yeah again very cute and accurate and just AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! And the song, Why Am I Like This??? It's fucking AMAZING and I totally understand it so fucking much! I get that and especially when it comes to like some of the lyrics "maybe you don't really want me there..." and "thinking right over every single word of the conversation we just had" such an excellent portrayal of anxiety as well as potentially depression or some other side effect of a host of other mental illnesses. The music just fits really well with Nick doubting everything so much and being anxious about it as well as just being incredibly relatable in some way for so many!

Annnnnnnnd here comes Elle with the save of Tara is NOT into Nick! Huzzah! The way that Charlie sits up when he reads that text is adorable AF and like I did that, I remember doing that lol I mean I also do similar things when I read a great fic though soooo XD

And now Nick is trying to figure out why he wants to hold hands with and cuddle Charlie. Like seriously I am so purroud of you Nick! I know it's absolutely terrifying but you are doing it and I am so purroud of you! And thanks fur being true to yourself and showing us all that it can be scary but it's so worth it! And then it ends...as he hits send fur the search "Am I gay?" which is such a great ending but also AHHHHHHHHHHHHH my FEELS!!!!!!!!!!! I always want to scream you are into Charlie regardless soooo KISSSSSSS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

#my fangirl heart #heartstopper #heartstopper series #charlie spring #nick nelson #heartstopper netflix #nick x charlie #charlie and nick #heartstopper show #nick and charlie #heartstopper s1

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perizia777 · 2 years

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Emmy and my opinions 🥷🏽 :

*Disclaimer* : I incite no one to hate so thank you.

So I'm not a person who accuses people (without any proof), Emmy said i'm i'm French I was born in Paris okay were is problem..? But now me personally from Turkey I speak French as my 2nd language np when several times she made spelling mistakes okay once twice doubt as an excuse i'm on my computer uh ?! Not bc why you write "vous" i usually google translate for german etc but there.. Anyway no matter

So when i said Emmy is hypocrite is not for nothing bc an anon said your from paris your white aha white people are ugly, she said "am half korean" , and she said am "learning korean" you are korean but your learning korean okay.. Weird when an anon said to rosie "thank you rosie i'm into in the void" directly you said that this anon manifest to be korean fetishism etc.. you don't speak like a korean, its at that moment i thought she's a hypocrite and incoherent ofc some people will say I'm lying and there's no proof discussion between her and an anon :

Anon : MAIS MDRRR, ILS ON CRUE TU LEURS DOIT QLQ CHOSE ? ZERMA ONT DIRAIT T'ES VENU TUÉ LEURS TANTINES WSH 😭

Emmy : OMGGG BBYYYY, && DROITE QUE JE NE LEUR DOIS RIEN ILS SONT TROP DRAMATIQUES- LMFOAAO les

gars c'est mon français (ma première langue) mauvais 😓😓(istg je vais devoir supprimer ce lmfao ces anons n'abandonneront pas)

Droite ? Ik is literally google translation am not crazy lmao "french is my first language but bad" 💀 ? Ngl you dont understand the language of the street wesh,zhehma,mdr,mv ? Pls no gonna lie "its my first language" it was you the first "yes my first language is French so sorry for the mistakes in english" more mistakes in French than in english, lmao = mdr what you dont use that uh ? So you're talking about fetishism when already 1 you're not korean and you're not French you're burned out all alone 💀 i made a long text where I told the whole truth but she prefers insults and not arguments and again Paris is not rich or baguette oui,oui yes coco chanel i even your sentence is not well formulated (droite) au féminin oui fous toi de ma gueule, 18 years you have your bacalaureat well i think and you mix the feminine and the masculine and you will tell me of course I'm French or no it's my computer no lie pls afterwards I know that there are bloggers who are with you but you lie periodt. You're the fetishist in the whole story, you don't even know how to make a correct French sentence ptdrr

Sois fière de ce que tu es va pas mentir ou vouloir le faire pour le style parce que pour te dire c'est tellement gênant c'est bon ta vu les champs élysée c'est bon quoi tout est glamour maintenant j'ai dit la vérité que certaines personnes vont pas accepter, d'ailleurs ton c'est emmy nom anglophone.. c'est moi l'anon j'ai peur de rien je suis la j'ai dit la vérité juste elle mens point j'en suis sûr que tu sait pas traduire ça si jamais y'a un truc qui t'a pas plu dans ce que j'ai dit désolé mais c'est la simple vérité.

@emm6y

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ellelune · 9 months

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Hi i'm still alive

Hi. It's been...more than 5 years since I abandoned this blog. I just randomly searched up my old blog here one day and I was filled with nostalgia...the happy-sad kind. This was my Pinterest (I'm old now okay). This is where is used to express my creativity, not that I draw or make art but like...i feel so myself when I was here? Obviously this site has went through shit, I feel like every millennial did, and no I'm not talking about the pandemic, but idk, I kinda wanna feel the old me through here. One thing this place helped me with is that I used to write letters to my future self, it's a little something that I do to push myself to live. unfortunately, I haven't been doing that for a long long long time. The last time i was here, it was a den for R-18 blogs and they're popping out everywhere and it felt like a virus. It's scary. I'm a wholesome blog. I was also too busy with school so i just focused on studying. hm, How have i been? Maybe i should write it here so the future me can read and reminisce. I'm currently working as a Physician at a nearby clinic, i also applied for a research position at my Alma Mater, I'm waiting for their call back but it looks positive, i want to believe so. I am not where i wanted to be, that's the truth, but also...i don't even know what i wanted to be. I am currently on Therapy, i have been, for 1 year now, and it's been a great help, along with my medications and shit. I have insurance now, i have some savings, i can buy some stuff that i like. I'm still with my boyfriend, we're on our 9th year now. We're pretty much family to each other at this point but he went and pursued residency, so he should finish that first before he start settling down. My cat, yes, he's still alive. He's 9 years old too! He's fatter than ever. We have a new dog, btw. His name is 'Kiro'. He's a domestic breed, he's less than a year old and he's soooo energetic i can't keep up with him. Whatelse? I am much happier than before. The ellelune here back in 2015 was so gloomy [ turns out she was badly depressed]. I still love the vibe these creepy ethereal photographs give off, i still love art, but recently i have been into baking, or maybe cooking in general. I learned a lot of dishes in a matter of months. I haven't been watching movies lately, i don't think there are anything that interests me anymore and i don't wanna watch for the sake of watching. BUT! I know there are films in my old hard drive that might get me going. I haven't even seen Openheimmer yet. Netflix is just there for my parents. I'm more into anime lately, manga and webtoons. I play a handful of games too, like back in 2019, i was obsessed with Genshin Impact that i burst out my wallet for it. I still love genshin but i don't play it as much as before [ also my PC gave out]. Music...still the same taste, maybe a lot wider since i got into J/K-indie. I still enjoy singing. Dancing? not so much as before, but i did danced again, for a while. There are so many things that changed and so many things that i'm happy it did change. One thing i would like to say is, i am living my second life now, i will expand on that soon because i don't want to sound gloomy and sad here. but, yeah, i will explain that soon, because it needs to be in here. In 2021, i survived, from myself. That's probably all i will say now. anyway, i will go explore this site again and see if i can rack my rusty brains into managing my account to be active again. I don't know what kind of Ellelune i would love to have, but i'm sure it's gonna be full of things that i love. and oh, btw, i got a niece :) She's a 10 month old baby and guess what her name is ? ' Elle '

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degreeofdisorder · 9 months

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heartstopper s2e6 live episode reaction

okay

would you feel better if I waited here? - no please come with me

oh I'm going thru it

AAAAAAAAAA the cringe it is UNBEARABLE

children of not-super-estranged-but-still-not-close dads all over the world are going AA

"ah I miss that boy" THAT IS YOUR SON OH MY GOD

oh my fucking godddddddddd

sarah is the only functional parent in this series sweet baby jesus

"he just doesn't know me" oh my god

oh my god I shouldn't have watched this at work LMAO

haha oh my fucking god

OH MY GOSHSKFJDKRJDKGJFKRJDLRK

THOSE BOYS ARE SO HAPPY

SAHAR'S "BUT IT WASN'T A MISTAKE!!!"

THREE TIMES?????

oh my god I want a group of friends lol

omg tao went WHAT ARE WE on elle skdlfjslgkdlfk

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GIVING ME ANOTHER HICKEY SJFKDJFKDJFKFJG

NOOOOIKDJFKDJ

I GET STRESSED ABOUT EVEYRYTHING YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL

nick how are you this perfect

oh my GOD MR AJAYI AND MR FAROUK AAAAAAAAAA

oh man I know "I don't think there's an age limit on those tbh" is gonna hit all of us dumb adults watching this show jdkfjdktjdktjd

YOU FLIRTING WITH ME? - MAYBE JAKFJDKFJFLDJFLFUFODIDPSO

DARCY'S PRESENT FOR TARA IM IN TEARSJDKFJSKFJDL

the lil moment with nick and charlie seeing other queer people I am going to rip all of my appendages

charlie spring: hoodie thief

NOT THE RECHARGING BITNIM LOSING MY MIND

they're SO SOFT IM DYING

I hate you - no! you like me! - I really don't HSKFJSKFJDKFJ KILL ME

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT FOR TARA SHE'S A PRINCESS OH I'M DUINGJFKFJDKJF

I want to grab tara and hold her and never let her go my baby girl

NOT TAO AND ELLEJSKFKSLFKSLFISLFI

LMFJSLFJSLFK charlie's got fuckin game oh my god this loser ass bitch has THREE people crushing on him (though like I don't think you can call nick's feelings a crush when he's his future husband AND ben is a psychopath)

I have been relating probably a little TOO MUCH to isaac this season ngl

"we keep escaping parties to hang out with each other" "are we gonna do it every time?" "I hope so" oh okay yeah that just sent me into a spiral

I want your midnights but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new years day ass behavior my lord

soulmatism idc

"not running away this time though" "please don't" jesus fucking CHRIST

did y'all know I love darcy cause I love darcy

charlie's "no" and then closing the door on harry HSKFJSKFJDKFJ ICON BEHAVIOR

now I need someone to shove ben down that balcony

imogen and sahar? oh that was scorned lover type of behavior I'm seeing the vision

CHARLIE COME ON I KNOW YOU'VE LOVED ME FOR YEARS

OH MY GODKDLSKDLSKDLSKSLD

I don't understand why they keep inviting ben to these things. that man is like literally a fun murderer. he's an asshole in many ways but also like fucking gross idc

OH LGO

OH SHIT NICK

OH NICK

OH BABY

OH THAT WAS SO BRAVE

me, who has read those books like a hundred times: OH NO WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY BE SAYING

james is so fuckin sweet "do you wants us to keep it a secret" oh baby

AAAAAAAAAAA

oh my fucking GOD darcy jesus

not even a discretion shot? fuck that was ajdksjfldnno

"why did I get into teaching" same

the piggyback I'll fucking DIE

those hugs look so comfy jesus christ

they're literally the most precious baby boys I'm going to fucking die

my GOD that's whore behavior right there

oh my god that's so fucking cute

the muffled WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS I'm

IMOGEN IS CUDDLED UP WITH SAHAR OG MY HOD

"I have to be perfect for you" DARCY BABY NOOOOOOOOOOO

oh baby darcy

OOOOOH MY GOD YOUSSEF

OOOOHHHHHHH

me, knowing everything that happens w mr farouk and mr ayaji: AAAAA WHATS GONNA HAPPEN

I'm actually so obsessed with nick constantly using charlie as a pillow lmao

THE MR FAROUK PHOTOODOFIODFIOSDILDGJDKKFK

oh man that episode was so fucking sweet even though it made me cry lmao

#hs livenats #heartstopper spoilers #heartstopper s2 spoilers

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bi-bard · 2 years

Text

Tragedy in a Pair - Winchester Brothers Imagine (Supernatural/Criminal Minds Crossover)

Title: Tragedy in a Pair

Pairing: Winchester Brothers X Sibling!Reader

Requested: nope

Word Count: 1,993 words

Warning(s): major character death, mentions of violence, gunshot wound, and demons

Summary: (S2, E1 in both) (Y/n) Winchester faces tragedy on all fronts.

Author's Note: I'm happy that people seem to be enjoying this character as much as I am.

More about this character here!

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

---------------------------------

It felt like I had been hit from all angles.

First, there was the Fisher King.

We were meant to go on a vacation. We were supposed to get time off of the normal flow of cases. My brothers told me that they had tracked down my dad, so I was ready to find them and finally put an end to my dad's obsession.

Then, an unsub latched onto the team.

We were all on edge.

Elle was arrested while on vacation with Morgan. We were given a set of rules and puzzles. It all just felt so... ridiculous. It was something out of some story you read in high school and think is just the coolest thing.

The bastard even shot Elle because we "broke his rules".

I wanted to be with her and the rest of the team.

And then Sam called.

Some demon had possessed a truck driver and hit the impala at full speed. Sam only had a few bruises and scrapes. My dad had a few more serious injuries but was mostly okay. Dean, however, was in a coma. And there wasn't a lot of hope.

Hotch tried to push me to go. I refused. The case wasn't over.

He finally put his foot down. No longer a friend. He was my boss telling me to go see my brothers.

When I got to the hospital, Sam was waiting for me in the lobby.

"Oh, Sammy," I muttered when I saw how bruised up his face was.

"Trust me," he replied. "I look better than the other two."

He led me back to Dean's room.

I walked in slowly. I was acting like my steps could wake him up. Maybe it brought me some comfort to think that he was just napping. I touched his hand.

"Hey Dean," I mumbled. "Don't know if you can hear me. I'm sure my friend at work would know how promising the research had been on those in comas being able to hear those around them."

I chuckled.

"I just want you to know that I'm here," I continued. "Sam and I are right here."

After that, I walked out. Sam walked with me to my dad's room.

"I'm gonna go be with Dean," Sam mumbled to me before leaving.

"Hey Dad," I said as I walked in. I only took a few steps into the room. He wasn't much of a hugger. I knew that.

"Hey kid," he replied.

"How are you feeling," I asked. "Need me to ask the nurse about some more pain meds?"

"No," he shook his head. "How's work?"

"Fine, fine," I nodded. I hadn't seen him since I went off to college. I wasn't shocked at how awkward it was. "We're... We were in the middle of a case actually. Interesting one."

"You're just doing a different kind of hunting," he tried to joke.

I nodded, "I- I guess we are."

There was a long pause between us.

"You should've been there," he spoke up. "With us. The thing killed your mom."

"I was planning on it," I explained. "We got the case on the same day I was going to leave. I... I had a job to do."

"Your job takes priority over your family?"

"I didn't say that-"

"But it's what you mean-"

"That's what you did," I stopped him. "Don't act like we're the same. I wasn't working that case because I chose to. This unsub was threatening my team and everyone around us. I called Sam and told him where the hell I was. More curtesy than you showed us."

There was another long pause between the two of us.

"Nice to know what it takes you to visit," he replied.

"What," I asked, shocked. "If you had bothered to call, I could've helped, Dad. Stop blaming your lack of communication on me."

He rolled his eyes, "You ran from us the first chance you got."

"You told me not to come back."

"You were selfish," he scolded. "You only came to see me now because I nearly died."

"Don't get confused," I snapped as I stepped toward his hospital bed. "I am not here for you. I am here for my brothers. One that's fighting for his damn life and the other that needs someone to do more than treat him like a disappointment."

I turned to leave the room, planning to go check on Dean.

"What would your mother think if she saw you now," he asked quietly.

I froze in the doorway before turning around. I didn't walk closer, I just looked at him.

"Don't you dare bring Mom into this," I replied through gritted teeth. "You are the only reason that I left and didn't come back. Don't blame me for your fuck up. Treat your kids like they're your kids, not your soldiers."

I left the room without another word.

Sam was only a little way down the hall. He was looking down, playing with the zipper of his jacket.

"Have you gotten your cuts checked," I asked as I walked over. He nodded, not looking at me. "Thank you for calling me, Sammy."

"I shouldn't have made you face him," he muttered. "I should've known better."

"No, no, no," I pulled him into a tight hug. "You didn't do anything wrong, Sam. My relationship with Dad wasn't something you could've fixed. That was up to me and him."

He tightened the hug and I heard him take a deep breath, "I heard you talking. Mom would've been proud of everything you've done."

I blinked back a wave of tears, "Thanks, Sammy. She would've been proud of you too."

I stepped back and grinned at him. He grinned back before looking down the hall toward our dad's room.

"Don't, Sam."

"I... I'm just going to see him," Sam explained, not looking back at me.

"Okay," I mumbled. "I'm gonna go see Dean."

He nodded.

We both walked in opposite directions.

As I made it to Dean's room, I pulled out my phone and dialed Garcia's number.

"(Y/n)," I was shocked when there wasn't an interesting greeting. "How are you? Is everyone okay?"

"Umm, yeah, yeah," I nodded, not wanting to go into details. "How's Elle?"

"She's good," Garcia replied. "She's out of surgery and stable."

"Good," I let out a relieved sigh. "And the case?"

"Spencer is running off of pure caffeine," she said. "Surprised he's functioning."

"He does have a tendency to hyper-fixate on finding solutions," I replied with a chuckle. "Let me know if I can help."

"Focus on your family," she instructed. "Hotch has instructed me to not give you anything more than basic updates. No clues."

I chuckled again, "Thank you, Garcia."

"Good luck," she said before hanging up.

I walked back into Dean's room, pulling a chair up to the foot of his bed.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised. "Not until you're back up."

--time skip--

It wasn't until the next morning that anything happened.

Dean waking up was sudden and terrifying. I threw the chair back and yelled out the door for someone to help.

The doctor removed the tube from his throat and checked his vitals. By that time, Sam had made it back to the room.

"So, you found a reaper after him," I looked at Sam as I sat on the edge of the bed. He nodded. "And Dean just managed to escape?"

"I guess so," Sam shrugged.

"And you can't remember anything," I asked Dean.

He shook his head, "All I've got is this sinking feeling in my stomach. Something's wrong."

There was a knock. We all looked over to see my dad in the doorway. He was in his normal clothes now with a sling on his arm.

"How're you feeling, dude," he asked Dean.

Dean shrugged, "Fine, I guess. I'm alive."

"That's what matters," he replied.

"Where were you last night," Sam asked him. I looked at Sam. Dad had left last night?

I truly hadn't left Dean's room the night before. Any conversation with my dad was going to spark another argument, but Sam tried to keep me updated.

"I had some things to take care of."

"God, do you have a copyright on vague bullshit," I asked. I felt Dean nudge my leg with his hand. I waved him off. "Did you go after the demon?"

"No," my dad replied.

"You know, why don't I believe you right now," Sam joined in.

My dad took a few steps forward, "Can we not fight?"

Again, I rolled my eyes, looking back at Dean. Some things never changed, and my dad was the best example. Dean grabbed my hand. Quiet comfort.

"Half the time we're fighting, I don't know what we're fighting about."

I closed my eyes and looked down. How was he full of such bullshit? I didn't understand it. I felt Dean squeeze my hand. I looked over at him and nodded with a forced grin.

"Look, Sammy, (Y/n)," I looked over at him when he said my name. "I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?"

"Are you alright," I asked, noticing the tears in his eyes.

"Yeah, just a little tired," he nodded. "How about you and Sammy go grab some coffee?"

I saw something in his eyes. Something different. It made me nod and stand up. I gave Dean's hand one more reassuring squeeze before nodding at Sam to follow me outside.

My dad grabbed my arm before I left. He used his good arm to hug me. I slowly hugged him back.

He muttered in my ear, "I'm sorry for earlier. I was wrong to say those things. Your mom would be so proud of the work you're doing."

I knew then that he had done something stupid.

My father's pride was too important to him to apologize at all, let alone in front of other people.

I just stepped back and grinned at him. No fighting.

Sam and I walked down the hall in silence for a while.

"He did something," I said. "Something stupid."

"Yeah... I know."

On our way back, we found our dad on the floor of his room, dead.

"Dad," we both said at the same time.

Sam ran to get help and I just fell to the ground next to him. I turned him onto his back and tried to find a pulse.

"Shit," I muttered, going to try to start chest compressions. I blinked away my tears, trying to focus. "What the hell did you do?"

I was yanked away by a few nurses. I was pushed outside where I saw Sam walking down the hall with Dean.

I must've started shaking when I saw them both.

They met me at the door, Sam pulling me into his other side.

We watched them try to revive our dad.

The flatline wasn't the scariest sound. The scariest sound was when the doctor told them to stop compressions.

And just like that, with three words, the three of us were alone.

Completely alone.

--time skip--

I made it back to D.C about a week later. I had spent a few days with my brothers at Bobby's before making the drive home.

I came back to find a bunch of flowers on my desk.

"Hotch didn't go into detail," I looked up when Garcia walked over. "He just said things had gone wrong. I thought these would be nice."

I let out a quiet sob and looked down again. Even without knowing why, she was so willing to help me.

She pulled me into a tight hug. I felt another hand on my back. I looked over at J.J. as she gave me a comforting grin. I looked over to see Morgan and Reid walking over too.

I grinned back at them.

Maybe I wasn't as alone in this as I thought.

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Masterlist (Includes links to All Writing Challenges)

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

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