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oubliette-odette · 1 month

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 24

Look who's baaaaaccccckkkk.

I've written a few chapters ahead so that it will hopefully help me to stay on top of this story and not fall behind....again.

But life loves to be silly and change our plans, so let's hope we can stay consistent this time.

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 Content Warnings: unhealthy parent dynamics All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

I looked back down at my breakfast and was resigned to starve. I had no appetite. Not since I woke up with the vial missing. My hand consistently reached for my chest to hold it and found nothing there, leaving me feeling hollow and heavy inside. Where had I misplaced it? My father had insisted I bathe and change last night after our conversation, and I took great care to place it where it wouldn’t get lost.

I wasn’t stupid enough to not suspect my father, especially seeing how pleased he was this morning. This playing nice was all some sort of act, but I also didn’t doubt that the Lady of Triel was a means to handle our - or should I say his - debts. I wouldn’t abandon my brothers so carelessly. I would do what I needed to, to satisfy the masses and then if the gods be willing, I would disappear and I would find Drunrag

Which meant I needed that vial.

But even without the vial, I had to trust that he was still alive. I would know, wouldn’t I? I would feel something change in me if he were gone? But he and I weren’t connected anymore, maybe I was being dramatic for thinking there was something still holding him to me. I ran my hand through my hair and siged. My mind was racing too fast to keep up.

“You are not feeling well?” My father asked from across the table.

I looked up and met his eyes. I couldn’t read him. Was it truly concern I was reading in his voice? Or was there an edge to it?

I stuttered to speak, “I-I…I’m not feeling totally myself this morning.” I admitted. “Perhaps I should get some fresh air?”

My father was silent as he in turn studied me, read me. It seemed we were both still playing the game of guessing who was a step in front of whom.

“We’ll be leaving to return to Berdusk shortly, the Duke and Lady Allara are waiting for us.”

“Isn’t Berdusk days away?” I asked, before realizing that I actually had no idea where we were.

My father’s mouth tweaked at my question, “You recall how you came here through a portal, yes?”

I gave him a curt nod, “Yes, yes I remember. Then let’s just skip the meal and be done.” I pushed the food away from me and folded my arms indignantly. I was ready to be out of my father’s direct gaze.

He waited to answer before giving a short nod. “Very well. I will inform the hunters.”

“How is it that the Hunters work for you?” I asked. I knew it was unlikely that I would get an honest answer, but I had to at least try.

“The Hunters and I have a common goal, or shall I say, a common enemy.” He said, he dabbed a napkin across his lips before rising to his feet. “As long as our goals remain the same, we hold a partnership with each other that requires no monetary cost.”

“I see.” I said.

“Shall we, then?” He asked, gesturing to the door out of the kitchen.

I said nothing, but led us out through the door. I spared a glance down to see if I caught the vial on my father’s person, but as I suspected, it would not be so easy to find.

“Looking for something?” My father asked. His eyes were narrowed.

I met them with a vacant expression. “Nothing of real interest.”

We followed the path back down the stairs to the underground maze of caverns and tunnels. It was confusing, and we were met with a cloaked Hunter who led us through in torchlight to the same large cavernous room. There were a trio of Hunters already in the room, drawing symbols within a circle on the ground.

We watched silently as the portal opened like a maw in the middle of the air, centered above the magic ring. The space within was blurred and unfocused and shimmered like water, but revealing a landscape much different than the current dank room we were in.. It was a curious form of magic, but also fascinating.

My father once again let me take the lead and I stepped through with him behind me. I felt a rush of vertigo that time and I forced my eyes shut as I waited for the sensation to pass. When I opened my eyes, we were standing in the Great Hall of Berdusk.

“Easy enough.” My father announced, smiling congenially as the portal winked closed behind us.

Business resumed almost immediately and a guard rushed towards us from the edge of the room. “Your Grace, a message for you.”

It was nothing more than a scrap of paper. I tried to read from the corner of my eye, I had only the chance to read a few words before my father slipped the paper into his robes.

Your Commander is not loyal.

“Hmmm, a beautiful morning indeed.” My father breathed out. He looked down at me with a grim smile, “Shall we go meet your fiance?”

“I’d actually like to freshen up first.” I said, before clearing my throat, “I…I’d like to be looking my best.”

He nodded, “Of course. On your way, then, try to be quick, son.”

I bowed my head solemnly. “I know what is expected of me.” I turned and began the descent down the stairs and out of the room.

As I stepped out I quickened my pace and raced towards my quarters, but not before a hand grabbed me and pulled me into a small hallway.

“What are you doing here?” Selhar’s face was panic-stricken and frantic. “Where is he?”

“Selhar?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

He shook his head, “No, you’re not supposed to be back here. He promised me he would keep you safe.”

“You’re not making any sense.” I said, and I grabbed his shoulders, trying to still his shaking body. “Selhar, what are you talking about?”

“Your…your partner. The orc. He promised me that he would try to keep you safe. I believed him. Why are you back?”

I had never seen such extreme emotion on his face in a long time. Not since our mother’s passing, and I felt the jump in my own heartbeat as I looked back at him. “He…He’s.” I sighed. “I don’t know where he is, Selhar. I think father has him.”

“Where?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“I hate him.” Selhar said, his voice came out like a hiss. “I hate him so much.”

The hallway was somber as I let my brother’s words hang between us. My mother and I had failed to protect him from the cruelties of Duke Hilmar, and the guilt that I didn’t even know what my brother had been going through suddenly overwhelmed me. This wasn’t just about me and Drun. This conflict ran much, much deeper.

“Listen, Selhar.” My voice was soft, “I’m not giving up yet.”

He shook his head, “But he’s brought you back here twice. You won’t be able to leave now.”

I nodded, “I know. But maybe you can help me?”

His eyes widened. “How?”

“I need you to get in touch with Commander Gideon. Tell him that father suspects him of treason. If he can, I need to meet with him as soon as possible.”

“Is that all?” He asked.

I thought for a moment, then continued. “I think father has something that belongs to me. A glass vial with red liquid inside. If you can find it somehow, I need that back. And don’t let the Duke find out.”

He nodded, a small wry smile formed on his face. “I’m the middle child, Altan, father doesn’t pay attention to me unless he’s mad at me. It will be easy.”

“He’s waiting for me. I have to meet my…fiance” We both grimaced at that. “I’ll find you after that.”

He nodded and turned to go.

“Selhar.” I said as he was about to leave. “I’m sorry for whatever he’s done to you.”

He shook his head, “It doesn’t matter if we’re able to stop him.” And then he turned to go.

There were a set of guards outside my room as I approached it. I felt the small pit in my stomach tighten as I approached them.

“I assume you were sent by my father?”

They nodded.

I rolled my eyes and forced my most petulant voice.. “I won’t meet with anyone until I am clean from my travels. Would you be kind enough to get someone to start my bath?”

“Young lord…” One of them began.

“Please.” I bemoaned. “And if I come out of here with you both still here, I’m reporting you to my father, he’s waiting on me, which means he’s waiting on you.”

I didn’t wait for an answer and strode into my room where everything was as exactly as I had left it. Strange to believe that it had not even been a week since I had left. So much had happened. I hoped my whining was good enough to get rid of the guards at my door. And I hoped that Commander Gideon would arrive in time for him to not be seen by them.

I paced, thinking over everything.

This was what I knew at that point.

The first, that my father had an arrangement with the Red Hunters that meant they had a mutual goal that enabled them to work together so long as that mutual goal remained. I didn’t know what that goal was, but perhaps if I could find out what it was, I could use that to my advantage.

Secondly, I knew Drunrag was being held somewhere as leverage for me to obey and listen to my father and I also believed he possessed the vial as added leverage, but my father was holding that information from me until absolutely necessary should I misbehave again.

Third, there were spies within the Great Hall who had informed my father of Commander Gideon as an enemy to my father’s goals. I wasn’t certain if these spies were part of the deal with the Red Hunters, or separate, but it was important to note that I couldn’t trust anyone at this point besides Gideon, Doxxah, and Selhar.

Lastly, a portion of my father’s debt relied on me uniting with Lady Allara. The consequences of not doing so were unclear, and I also didn’t know if it played into the arrangement with the Red Hunters. But I could only hope that it was the case, since all of the details seemed so close together.

I didn’t know how to connect all of the details yet. I was never the most clever, though the gods know I tried to be. I only knew that I had multiple things I needed to see happen before Drunrag and I could be together again.

The first, was to prevent Commander Gideon from being arrested or blamed for treason and perhaps reveal the moles within the guards’ ranks. He was my greatest asset and ally with influence and rank.

Second, my arranged marriage had to be stopped and if I was lucky, I could incite problems with deals my father has with the Red Hunters that would help with my third, and perhaps most important goal which was to stop whatever other plans my father has. I needed to prevent him from ever doing something like this ever again. Perhaps it was time the Hilmar name faced the consequences and no longer be in power.

I was deep in thought when I heard a knock at the door.

My heart leapt the same time I sprung to my feet and raced for the door. I cracked it open and let out a breath when I saw the towering figure of Commander Gideon . There was no sign of anyone else.

“Quick. Inside.” I said and released the door.

The Commander slid into the room, an impassive look on his face. I was about to close the door when Selhar grabbed the door and followed in. “Not without me.” He said quietly, but the determination in his voice was not to be dismissed.

“Did anyone see you?” I asked.

They both shook their heads.

“We don’t have much time. My father is about to have guards on me again and I don’t know if we’ll have another chance like this.”

“I understand the Duke has marked me as untrustworthy.” Gideon said. “Much gratitude to you for warning me. I am in your debt.”

I bowed my head, “You are my ally, and selfishly I must admit I cannot do this without you.” I turned to Selhar, “Either of you.”

“Where is the young orc?” The Commander asked.

“Somewhere imprisoned by my father. I believe with the Red Hunters? I do not know the location, only that is resides underground.”

“Red Hunters?” The Commander and Selhar exchanged glances at one another, eyes wide. “Gods helps us.”

“Commander, I believe you need to disappear before you are intercepted by the Duke.” It was unfamiliar to me to be so commanding to another, but the commander eye’s were locked with me, listening intently. “I don’t know what I’m doing, so I trust you to guide me.”

“Ask me what you wish, young lord and it will be so.”

Selhar nodded, “And me.”

I looked between them and let out a sigh. “If I only I knew.”

“Do you have a plan?” Selhar asked.

“Only the beginnings of one.” I said. “I don’t know if it will work. But it’s the only plan I have left.”

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 21

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racism. All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

This was my fault. I had let my guard down.

My heart was pounding fast inside me, but it was no longer for the rush I felt being near Altan. No, I was feeling the thumping of my body fearing for my life, for Altan’s life.

I pulled Altan in front of me and put myself between him and the men “Run!” I pushed him ahead of me and he began to scramble forward.

I snapped the longest piece of the arrow that extended out the side of my leg and grunted at the jolt of pain, but I’d have to deal with the rest later. I kept running, forcing my body to suppress the pain. I glanced back and saw two of the three men were racing down the hill towards us, the third let loose another arrow. I heard its whistle and felt a sting as it sliced the side of my arm, barely missing me. I hissed, but I didn’t slow. I didn’t have time to linger on the pain. I was the son of Uluraat orcs, and we did not let pain stop us from protecting each other.

There was a roar in my ears as I kept just behind Altan. I glanced back and saw that all three were now in pursuit. They each had hoods concealing their faces as they sprinted towards us. We had an advantage, but if we slowed at all, they would gain on us.

“Altan,” I called, “Hold tight.”

He looked back at me, his eyes wide as I suddenly swept him up and into my arms. His arms found my neck and he held on tight to me. We both knew I was faster than him, I could carry him as long as I needed to. To keep him safe.

“What are you doing?” he yelled, “You’re injured!”

My expression was grim as I met his eyes for only a flash, “I’ll live.”

He frowned, but said nothing. He looked back, “They’re not slowing down.”

“Neither will I.”

“How long can you keep this up?” His voice was shaking.

“As long as I have to.” I said. My words came out more like grunts as I tried to keep my breathing level. My body was pounding to a rhythm that I had long since forgotten.

“Drun, your skin is burning.” Altan said.

“It’s good.” I grunted. Orcs' bodies were built for war, for hunting and survival and when our bodies were pushed to the extreme, there was a sudden rush that made our blood burn and our bodies be able to push through extreme injuries or exhaustion. It worked and felt similarly to lordhovid. I had not felt such sensations since I was much younger, and there was a part of me that missed the feeling of pushing my body to its limit. There was a roar in my ears that dimmed all sound except for the sound and feeling of my feet pounding into the earth, I could feel the soil break beneath me. My leg had an ever present throb that I couldn’t quite shake, but I was determined. I couldn’t slow down. I couldn’t.

Altan clung to me, saying nothing, I could feel his own heart pounding against my chest. He watched with wide eyes ahead of us and then looked back and said, “We’re losing them I think.”

I didn’t respond and still I didn’t slow. My breath was coming out of my mouth in short, loud puffs and I clung to Altan, making sure he would never fall from my grip. I was fueling every part of me into running. Faster if I could. It didn’t matter how long it would take, but I would get Altan free. My arms were beginning to tire and my leg was starting to scream at me. I didn’t dare look down to see how much blood I was losing. I couldn’t care about that, not yet. At the speed I was running I was praying that I would ourselves reaching my father’s camp soon. I may have an advantage on our pursuers, but I also knew that my body wouldn’t keep this up forever. Eventually I would collapse.

“Drun.” Altan pulled himself up. I could sense fear in his voice and I looked back. I saw nobody there and even though I kept running, I began to slowly pull back.

“Your leg.” He said, looking down. “Let me dress it.”

I shook my head, “No, it will be fine once we get to camp.”

“Drunrag.” Altan pushed. “I won’t accept you losing so much blood that you faint.”

I shook my head. “Not possible.” Orcs don’t faint, we die before that could ever happen.

He frowned and his face became grim. “Drunrag Uluraat, we are doing this together. Let. Me. Help. You.”

I read the determination in his expression. He would not accept no for an answer.

I slowed to a stop and I suddenly grimaced as the pain overwhelmed my senses. He kept his arms around my neck as he swung his legs free and hopped down to his feet. He reached for the bottom of my tunic, not even asking before ripping off the bottom portion.

“There’s a lot of blood, the arrow has moved a lot.” he looked up after assessing what was left of the arrow sticking from my thigh. “I’ll do my best to control the bleeding, but I don’t think I can remove the arrow just yet” He started to wrap the cloth around my leg, keeping it tight just above the wound.

“Thank you,” I said, then looked behind us, assessing our surroundings. “We probably don’t have much time.”

His eyes were narrowed and concentrated on the wound, he didn’t give any sign that he had heard me as he tightly knotted the bandage.

“Tighter.” I said roughly, I wiped sweat from my brows and looked over my shoulder, my heart skipped a beat as I saw the distant shadowy shapes of our pursuers that hadn’t been there before.

“We have to get moving.”

“If you keep running, it could injure you more.” He protested.

“We can deal with that later.” I looked back again and then back to Altan. “Are you ready?”

He looked at my leg nervously before nodding and letting me lift him back into my arms.

I started to run, but immediately I realized our error for stopping. My body protested with every step and I felt as if the exhaustion from the last three days had caught up with me. I groaned as I felt the intense searing pain as I moved my leg again and again. The motion was suddenly near unbearable and I began to limp.

“Drun.” Altan’s voice was distant in my head, I could only hear a shrill ringing. “Drun!”

I continued to run, to struggle onwards. Every orc warrior kept standing until their last breath, and I would do the same to make sure that Altan was safe. I met his eyes and we both knew I wasn’t as fast before, and that I was fading, but I had to keep going. It was our only chance. Stopping now would mean death.

“Drun,” Altan’s voice cut through again, he gripped my neck tighter. “They’re gaining on us.”

I turned around and realized that they were on horses now, with two additional riders with them. I felt the weight of what that meant.

There would be no escaping them.

I slowed down, holding Altan close to me. “Altan, promise me that whatever happens, you’ll keep running towards those hills until you find my father. Do you understand?”

He jerked in my arms and looked at me with a grim expression. “Drunrag. What are you saying?”

“Promise me.”

He shook his head. “No, we’re doing this together.”

“Altan.” I said, his name hurt on my lips, and I ached to swallow the emotion away from my voice. I set him down and grabbed his shoulders. “We are always together, but we also need to prepare for if something gets worse. I need to buy you some time.”

“But you’re injured.”

“They slowed us down on purpose, this is what they wanted. But I’m also the son of the greatest warrior I know.” I said. “I will fight, whatever it takes. For you. For us. If you can keep running and get to my father’s camp, they will bring reinforcements to help. We’re not far, but I have to make sure one of us gets a chance to get there.”

He shook his head. ‘I don’t like this. Drun, I don’t want to leave you.”

I lifted the vial from his neck and then placed my hand on his chest, above his heart. “We can find each other again. Do you trust me?”

His eyes softened and turned sad. “Drun, you’re saying this like something will go wrong.”

“It may,” My voice was sober as I set him down on the ground. “Do you trust me?”

He nodded, “I trust you. Always.”

I gave him a grim smile, “Then go. To the hills, follow the smell of the smoke and don’t look back.”

Altan’s eyes hardened to steel and he nodded. “I love you, I’ll come back for you.”

I nodded. “Nod merad,” I cupped his face and leaned in, letting us both savor one last final kiss before I let him go. I felt that feeling of completion, of unification before I pushed him away and my voice cracked, “Go.”

There wasn’t time to say or do anything more. His eyes were on me a few moments longer, we both seemed to be trying to memorize all of our features in a matter of seconds, before he turned from me and began to run.

I looked back to the shadows of the riders ahead of us and I felt the cold reality of what I was doing. Orcs fought in packs, while I stood alone. These riders outnumbered me. They had arrows, weapons, horses - means to not only defend themselves, but also the means to kill me if they so chose. I was not loved by the Duke or his council, very likely they would not hesitate to kill me. I had nothing to defend myself. All that Commander Gideon had given me was a small dagger. It would be enough to throw at one target, but there would still be four more, and they likely wouldn’t hesitate to retaliate.

Perhaps the blood soaked soil of the Fields of the Dead would promise me victory. I breathed in deep and prayed to the orc-god for his blessing. His lust for blood was what kept the land fertile and safe for my people, he was always near to them when they stayed so near where war had been. I hoped I was still given the grace to be acknowledged by him.

I looked back over my shoulder one last time and I saw my beloved’s back becoming smaller and smaller as he ran towards the hills where my father would be. Please be good to him, I prayed. Please let him live.

I wondered if I would see him again. Or if I had already said goodbye to him. I remembered how it had only been a few hours ago today. I remembered what had told me, “If I am lucky, I would have all of you.” Was today all I could ever give him? I wanted to give him so much more. I would give him everything I had if I had the chance then.

I heard the pounding of the hooves and turned back, I slipped the dagger free from its sheath on my belt and I held my stance.

My eyes focused on the riders and as they came closer, I began to catch details of them that I had not been able to see before. One of them had their hood flown back, revealing their shaved head and glowing red eyes. My heart faltered as I recognized what this meant with their bright red garb.

I was familiar with this guild of hunters, though I had never encountered them before. The Red Hunters: a shadowy group of mercenaries that lurked in shadows all across Faerun, that could be convinced to hunt down anyone or anything for a bit of coin. Their methods were uncommonly violent and their work was renowned for their special brand of cruelty. They were trained killers, but they were also trained in other arts: tracking what is supposed to be untraceable, killing what is unkillable, torturing what should be unbreakable. They all shared the common features of the red of their eyes - a malformation from a drug they consumed to heighten their senses - and shaved heads.

I didn’t know how the Duke was able to pay such a high fee when I knew of his debts. And I also didn’t know what that meant for my fate. Was I to die by their hand? Or be taken somewhere much worse?

Gruumsh, hear me, I am unworthy of your blessing, but I ask it all the same.

Let me live so that I may see him again.

Let me live.

The party of riders slowed and approached me. They each pulled back their heads and I saw that they all also wore masks that concealed all but their red, burning eyes.

“Orc.” One of them called, their voice biting.

I did not answer, only returning with a glowering stare.

“Where is the young lord?” The same one asked.

I did not answer again.

The one who spoke turned to the one to their left and in a different language made some sharp command. The one who received the orders began to urge their horse forward, and it was then that I loosened my grip on the knife and let the weight of its hilt swing until my fingers caught hold of it by the blade. My eyes locked on the rider’s neck that was moving towards me and I let the knife fly, watching the blade sink right where I aimed. The rider gurgled before they slid off the saddle and fell to the ground, either dead or dying.

“You will go no further.” I shouted, my voice came out as more a roar than a yell. I did not care that I might have appeared more beast than man at that moment. I wanted them to know I would die before they got their hands on my mate.

“Orc.” The first speaker called. “You will not repeat such an act of violence. You have made your talent apparent, now listen carefully. You will not live if you act out again, and then who will protect your lover then?”

“What are your demands?” I seethed where I stood. They would use Altan against me, they knew it would work. I had never possessed such a weakness as strong and obvious as him before and I was too desperate to sacrifice him.

“You will come with us. There is a Duke who would like to see you. Alive, unfortunately. But I’m not afraid to kill you all the same if you do not obey me.” The leader urged his steed forward and they approached me until they were stopped only a few feet from me.

As I stood, my eyes just above their horses' glassy eyes and I only had to look up a bit to meet the eyes of the leader.

“You will not hurt him?” I asked.

They shrugged, “We’ll see. Will you go willingly?”

I tried to read their eyes, but those red, hollow eyes expressed nothing but contempt and apathy. There would be no gambling with these people. I bowed my head.

The leader turned back and called out to the other three riders. I watched in mute horror as two of them burst into a gallop towards the hills, pulling the crossbows from their hips.

“No!” I yelled. I somehow knew they would not respect my desire and lunged out to stop them, but I felt something lodge into my thigh - my good one - and I faltered and landed on my knees.

The two riders who were left circled me and the leader scoffed at me. “Pathetic. I thought orcs were a little more impressive than…this. You’re a bit of a disappointment, aren’t you?”

I felt another painful sharpness in my leg and I looked down to see that two crossbow bolts were now lodged just above my knee on my right knee. It took everything in me to hold back the groans of pain, I clenched my jaw and I sat up, my knees were shaking beneath me.

“What made you think we would actually honor any request you made?” They asked.

“Idiot” The other chuckled.

I glared at each of them, my hands were fists at my side. I had nothing to fight back. I was grounded by two wounds that kept me from running. What was next?

“Cuff him.” The leader said darkly.

The other retrieved chains from their pack and my eyes flashed with horror as I recognized cuffs for my feet, my hands, and a collar for my neck.

They were going to chain me like an animal.

I started to flail as the rider dismounted and approached me with the chains. I wouldn’t be treated so disrespectfully. I may not be the perfect orc I was supposed to be, but I understood my honor, my pride. I would not accept this. The last thing I remembered was the shrill scream of their mount as it rose to its hind legs and then feeling a hard, painful collision to the back of my head.

Altan. I thought as darkness claimed me. I’m so sorry.

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 20

Guy guys guys, I'm really excited about this chapter.

Please enjoy, hopefully your patience is rewarded.

And then also my apologies for what's about to happen...

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racism. All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

I was losing my sense of control around Altan. I started to notice how he was teasing me with slight touches as we walked next to each other and how when he would start to tell me a joke, his hand would suddenly be taking hold of my forearm and brushing his fingers down it familiarly. I was startled each time and my mind would be empty of any ability to speak. When we would stop to eat, I would find him sitting so close next to me that he was leaning against me and he would pass me his waterskin to share after he had drunk from it, his eyes like fire as he watched me drink from it.

I at first was ignorant of what he was doing, but when he set his bedroll closer and closer to me each night, I started to piece together that he was teasing me. He was purposefully crumbling my sense of resolve. And I didn’t know how to stop him now that it was starting. I liked it too much to tell him to stop. We had stopped two more nights where I stayed up to keep watch. It was a gift from my ancestors, but it did have a slow drain on my body and I was losing the discipline that I normally had.

Altan was about to become my ruin and I was terrified of it.

I had the feeling that we were close approaching my people - I could smell the faint waft of the smoke of the camps and hoped that we would make it before nightfall. And then I could get some sleep, get a hot meal in my stomach and regain my composure, maybe spend some time away from Altan to clear my head. Though Gruumsh be damned because I knew the moment I brought Altan into that camp that my family would throw us into a tent together and wouldn’t let us free until we finally mated. And I wouldn’t put it past any of my siblings or even my father to be sitting outside the tent listening in. I was mortified at the thought. Did they not know this was already more than I had ever bargained for?

I had a feeling that I was greatly outnumbered when it came to whether or not I should sleep with Altan as soon as we were safe - Altan’s vote was also likely against me.

I groaned inwardly and ran my hand through the hair that fell loose from my topknot and took a deep, strained breath and kept my feet walking. I hadn’t seen a sign of anyone pursuing us in the last two days and I dared to believe that we were safe, but I wasn’t ready to relax yet. My senses were focused as much as they could be on catching any signs of someone nearby: smells, sounds, sights - I was trained to find them through any means if I needed to.

“Drun!” Altan exclaimed excitedly, breaking my thoughts and I looked down to see him pointing. “Water!”

I followed his direction and saw a pool of clear blue water. It was being fed from the river that we had followed for a short time until our path strayed towards the Fields of the Dead where my family was. It was wide and looked to be deep enough for a swim, but not much deeper, its waters a pale sky blue that honestly looked inviting after the dust and sweat of days of travel on me.

“I’ve been longing to clean this stench off of me.” He said, lifting the black robe that he had been wearing when we ran away. “I’m going to burn this thing when we finally get to your home.”

I looked around, assessing the options. I was eager to be moving, but I also couldn’t deny that I was eager to wash off the sweat and stink on my body.

He grinned up at me, “It’s safe, yes? It will be fast.”

I did one final sweep and I nodded in assent.

He whooped and was suddenly breaking into a run. The image of him, dancing and careening with that golden light that seemed to follow him in any weather or condition, left me breathless and I found myself stumbling in pursuit of that light.

Our packs were left at the edge of the water and I saw that Altan had already flung his boots from his feet and he was shedding the dust-coated black robe that he had been wearing. I was caught where I was, my feet suddenly stone and unmoving, watching breathlessly and anticipating the visage I was about to be blessed with.

I saw golden brown skin that looked warm to the touch. Oh gods I was lost in the smooth, vastness of his back, his lithe frame that inspired sinful thoughts in my mind. He was standing at the pool’s edge, barefoot, and only wearing a pair of cream-colored braies. He stretched his arms out high and I caught the slight, gentle curve of his waist. The reflection of the water in front of him danced and rippled across his soft stomach and I pulled in my breath as my eyes wavered and followed it down to where his hips slanted downwards before I couldn’t see anymore.

He was sculpted elegantly and with sophistication where it counted - giving him a look of someone royal, fit and austere, but there was also the overwhelming softness that pervaded all of that. He was quite possibly the trap that would send me to damnation and I was prepared to descend to whatever depths I had to to get a taste of such temptation.

“Fuck.” I breathed. I was doomed. Damned. Fooled. Sinking deeper and deeper into this fever dream. Lordhovid may have had me burning for Altan, but even with it gone I still felt something deeper that was buried inside me that left a primal thirst for him. This wasn’t about lust anymore. It was a need to be reunited with something that belonged to me.

He whipped his gaze to me and his eyes were alight with something victorious and exultant as he caught my frozen stance. His lips teased into a smile and I caught the glint of the sharpness of his teeth as he tossed his curls behind him and he began to step into the water. His eyes were still on me, tempting me, pulling me.

He had wanted this. I was sure of it and I fell right into his game.

Was I upset by that, though? My brain was too unfocused to know what to think.

“Are you going to take a swim or not?” He called, the water was now to his waist - gods that waist why did it haunt me so - and his fingers were dancing over the surface, leaving gentle ripples that spread out and stretched towards me.

I don’t know how, but somehow I managed to clumsily step towards the water’s edge and I fumbled with my boots, my pants, my shirt until I was bare of anything except for my underclothes.

Altan’s eyes were locked on me, fiery and wanting. I returned the want in my gaze and I was suddenly being pulled to him. I was in the water, wading towards him. I could feel the coolness of the water on my skin, but I didn’t recognize it as I took each step closer to him.

“You temptor.” I breathed, disbelief in my voice.

He grinned. “Yes, me.” He winked and beckoned me closer with the slight curl of his finger. “Perhaps I wasn’t only wanting to wash myself.”

I stopped just short of a few feet and I held myself stock still. “What do you plan to do?” I couldn’t deny the slight fear I was feeling. I couldn’t deny what I was wanting - I wanted Altan, I wanted him, oh gods I needed him - but I still was scared of what was happening to me, happening to us and I was scared of where it was leading. My hands were caught in fists at my side and I struggled to hold his gaze as the reality of what our bodies were leading us towards was more clear. There was no question we were both breathing harder, but also holding our breath, holding back the urges our bodies and our hearts were pushing us towards. We were standing at the edge of a cliff, one more step and it would be the tipping point that would send us both over the edge to somewhere new and entirely unexplored.

He closed the distance, I saw his eyes take me in and I felt the bubbling sick sensation of shame. I was nothing like he deserved, I thought. I was brutish, I was scarred across all parts of my body from the spars I had as a child. There was a dent in my stomach from when I was gored by a boar during one of my hunts as a young boy, now only a white patch of hardened scars remained. I itched to put my hand over it, to hide it. My tusks suddenly felt too big, my skin felt rough and hideous. I wanted to hide.

But Altan’s eyes met mine and I wondered what he saw, because in his eyes I continued to see the wanting, the desire to be with me.

His hand was suddenly on my stomach, water was slipping free and trailing down from his hand and down my skin. I shivered, but held my gaze.

“Drun.” He breathed, he seemed to be almost out of breath as he pressed his hand further against my abdomen and then his other hand was reaching, raising up and caressing the side of my face.

I was lost in his golden gaze. His eyes - now heavy and weighed with desire - were like pools of warmth - reminding me of the dizzying dance of our campfires. I couldn’t look away. My breath was catching as I felt his hand on my stomach trail up towards my chest. I was caught in his grasp. I was nothing more than a marionette, and he controlled the strings.

“Altan.” My voice hitched and I was embarrassed at how apparently aroused I was. I felt the heat between my legs and I was grateful the water covered anything I didn’t want him to see.

His eyes crinkled as he grinned.

He pulled back and turned away from me. “I’m so sorry, love, I couldn’t help myself. I think I’ve teased you enough, my dear.” He dunked his head under the water and I saw bubbles on the surface.

What? My mind stuttered.

He breached the water and flung his hair back and he was now standing, staring at me, dripping wet.

What the fuck was this man doing to me?

I shook my head, “Enough teasing.” I waded towards him and reached for him, snatching his arm and pulling him towards me. He was weightless as he eagerly let himself be pulled into my arms. Suddenly my arms were around him, his bare chest, wet and dripping pressed against me. His golden eyes looked at me with such intense want. My one arm was around his waist and I let out a gasp as I took in everything I was feeling, everything I was seeing.

Gods, I could have died at that moment.

“What will you have from me?” I gasped, my eyes searching his.

“If we’re lucky, I will have all of you.” He said, his voice teasing, but then he sobered and his eyes fell on my lips. “But for now, I will have a kiss.”

I bit back the refusal. Orcs do not kiss each other; tusks against tusks were uncomfortable and so it was only ever done during angry sexual encounters as a way to show dominance - some of my siblings had chipped their tusks from tussles with their mates that way. But Altan was not an orc, and as my attention fell to his lips, I wondered if they would feel as soft as they seemed.

Suddenly I was carrying him, I had lifted him and held him up to match my gaze and his hand was suddenly caught in my hair, pulling my topknot free and his lips were on mine. I felt his legs wrap around my waist and his hips rocked forward and I swear I saw stars. I wasn’t sure if I was standing anymore or caught underwater, I was too lost in feeling everything, savoring this moment. His lips, his lips were so soft, yet so earnest as he tried to pull himself closer to me, even though we were chest to chest and I was holding him against me. We were eager to draw each other into one another’s space, there was no such thing as too close - too much. He pulled back and ran a finger down one of my tusks before placing a gentle kiss on it. I shivered. His face was so close to mine, I could feel his breath and smell the earthy clean smell from the pool. The hand still caught around the back of my head pulled me close to him. His eyes closed and we were kissing again. He was good at it and I was losing myself to it. His tongue was suddenly in my mouth and I could taste him. He tasted sweet, warm and my breath hitched again as I heard a gentle whimper escape his lips. His fingers curled and pulled my hair tight.

“Drunrag.” His voice was nothing more than a whispery breath. “I love you.” His lips brushed against mine as he spoke and I felt the words. Felt them and knew them to be true. That feeling that he was some other part of me that I needed to be whole thrummed with confirmation that yes, he was mine. He was mine and he would complete me.

“Nod merad.” I growled. “Nod djenifad. Nod sanitrash.” I slipped into orcish and my voice came out low and desperate. “Na dovid dra ek na kamiam weltha dra. Dra duwam. Nod raebukam.” Every possible confession I could make, I whispered against his lips and I drank the way he clung to me. I held him close and I poured everything I wanted him to know into my words. “Na wukka tompa zak dra.”

He sighed and pulled himself back, taking in the sight of me. “Are you going to tell me what any of that means?”

I smiled, and shook my head. “Not tonight, no.”

He feigned disappointment then ran his finger down my tusk. “You will teach me?”

I nodded. “Yes. Once you learn to behave. You have been teasing me these last two days.”

He at least had the decency to look coy. “I’m sorry, my love. You…” He chewed on his bottom lip. “You have no idea how hard it is to be next to someone as handsome as you and not be able to do or say anything.”

I jerked, “Handsome?”

He narrowed his eyes. “You do not think you are handsome?”

I shook my head, “Not even by orc standards. I’m rather average.” I couldn’t begin to wonder what those not of my kind see in me.

His jaw hung low and he vehemently shook his head. “False. You are lying to me. There is no one as handsome as you. My Drun.” He said, his finger was still stroking my tusk again and I was struggling to stay focused. “Perhaps you really were made for me.” He said, wistful.

I shook my head. “You have strange ideas.” I ignored the pulsing deep inside me that confirmed what Altan was saying was true. I slowly lowered him back down to the ground, the water rippled around us. “We should be moving on soon if we want to get to my father’s camp before it is late. Wash up quickly.”

I knew it was abrupt, but if Altan continued to tease me with his golden aura, I would have found myself on top of him and taking things further well into the next day. I waded away from him and dunked my head into the water and held myself there.

Gruumsh please keep me strong. And promise me that I will have sleep tonight or else I will break.

Altan looked reluctant to wear the black robe when we stepped out of the water - I made it a point to not stare at the way his now wet braies clung to his hips and thighs and…everything else. I reached for my shirt and held it out to him. “Here, take it until you’re fully dry.”

It was a big mistake to offer it, because as soon as I saw Altan wearing my tunic, there was a dangerous sense of possessiveness in me. My mate, wearing my shirt. It was far too large for him, but it also looked right for him to be wearing it. The inner voice in my head purred with delight at the sight.

We were relaxed on the last leg of our journey. I - now lacking a shirt - and Altan carrying our boots in his hands as we both walked barefoot. Something eased between us and we found each other trading soft gazes at each other and I found myself drifting closer to him just so I could brush against him. He hummed next to me and I closed my eyes and let my feet guide me as I listened to the melody he crafted.

At the end, I opened my eyes and found his eyes on me.

“Your voice is beautiful.” I said, and I leaned down to kiss him. I admittedly enjoyed kissing - I don’t believe anyone else could have made it as nice as Altan did.

He hummed in approval as I found my hands holding his waist and pulled him towards me, my arms slid around him perfectly and I wondered if maybe we really were created for one another. I leaned down, cupping his face with my hands and letting the light of his golden love warm me inside and through me. I pressed my forehead to his, holding each other still for a moment. And then my lips found his and we savored the taste of each other. He was sweet and lovely and I loved him. The word I had skirted around, tested and wondered until finally I knew it's truth. I loved him completely.

I didn’t smell the humans until it was too late.

I heard the quick sharp thwip of an arrow just before I felt the hard impact on my thigh and suddenly a dull, throbbing pain. I grunted, stepped back and looked down to see an arrow lodged in my leg.

“Drun!” Altan yelled, his hands clinging to me. We both whipped around to see at the crest of a hill three men, all of them pointing arrows at us.

“They found us.” He breathed.

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oubliette-odette · 1 day

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 24

Do you ever write a chapter and just...hate it?

That was this chapter and I've been working and reworking it over and over again and this morning it finally clicked what I was missing and so I hope you enjoy this chapter more than I do, because I have beef with this chapter.

Altan POV

“So,” I began, trying my best not to fidget, “How do you find Berdusk?”

The Lady Allara seemed to be a timid creature, we had been walking along the grounds for at least an hour and conversation was dreadfully, painfully slow. Some might be surprised to know that her conversation skills were inferior to that of orcs.

“Oh, it’s quite nice.” She replied, blinking her wide eyes at me. She had an uncanny gaze that never strayed from my face. I could never tell if she was pleased when she looked at me, or simply frightened out of her mind, either way her wide, globulous eyes and her open mouth smile never was not on me.

There truly was no time to be amused by anything, but I couldn’t help but think that Drun would find her just as unsettling as I, and there was some warm comfort in that. Despite the distance and not knowing his condition, I still felt him near me. He was in my every waking thought and motivated every breath I took. He would return to me, that I was determined, and in the meantime I forced myself to believe that all was well and that what I was doing was enough.

I looked behind me and bit back the sigh I wanted to release when I locked eyes with the guards who followed us close behind.

Earlier that day, Commander Gideon had only just left before those same guards had returned with the servants to prepare me for the day. Since then, they had not left my sight, even within the privacy of my own room. It took much wailing and gnashing of teeth to convince them to let me bathe without one of them watching me. The absolute perverts.

“Do you miss Triel?” I asked Allara. “You’ve been gone almost a fortnight, is that correct?”

She shrugged, “I’m content to go where father takes me.”

Odd answer. I looked over at her again. Her expression was vacant of most any emotion. She didn’t look anywhere but me, in fact I don’t think she had looked out at the gardens once.

“My mother started this garden, you know.” I changed the subject. “She brought seeds from her homeland, isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yes, quite.” She neither blinked nor looked away from me, not even once.

I swallowed thickly. “My lady, is everything alright?”

“Perfectly.” She said, “And you?”

I narrowed my eyes while I looked back at the guards, “The same, I suppose.” I said vacantly. They wouldn’t give away anything. Even if they knew, they’re helmets concealed too much of their face to even help.

“How about some tea?” I asked. I needed to distract myself from her and a drink and something sweet to eat from the kitchen seemed like a good idea.

“Whatever you wish, my lord.” She said, “That sounds perfectly splendid.”

“Do you like tea?”

“Oh yes.” She bowed her head.

“Hmmm.” I nodded softly. I clasped my hands behind my back as I led her and the two guards behind us back into the interior of the Great Hall. I glanced back one last time to the gardens, appreciating the work that had been done to keep my mother’s plants alive. Someday, Drun would see it, I vowed.

The kitchens were pleasantly warm and quite busy when we entered. The head cook glanced up and nodded sagely when I walked in. They were used to my brothers and I coming in after our studies to enjoy a sweet treat with some tea. It was a safe space amongst so few of them and the cook was always kind even though I had never seen them speak a word in all my time knowing them.

They moved quickly to set two seats for myself and Allara to rest and then placed a setting for each of us to receive tea. A kettle was already beginning to boil.

“My lord, what a surprise!” I turned and gasped when I saw in the corner the large shadowy shape of a Dragonborn. How had I not seen them there? Doxxah was carrying a tray of baked goods, steam still rising from them.

“Doxxah! Wonderful to see you.” I said. I gestured for Lady Allara to take a seat, which she obliged with no objection. I stepped away, closer to my old friend.

“Likewise my lord, though a bit unexpected.” Doxxah gave a knowing stare. “Would you care to help me?”

I glanced at my fiance, who sat contentedly on her chair, her feet swinging slightly back and forth. From my distance it even seemed she had more of a natural smile on her face as she held her cup of tea. I turned back to Doxxah and nodded, “I would be honoured to help.”

“How is the Lady Allara?” Doxxah’s voice was soft, not carrying above the sounds of the kitchen in use. We both glanced over at her, but the girl did not seem to notice the conversation being about her.

“Odd.” I said. “But not unkind.”

They nodded in acknowledgement. “And how is your paramour?”

“I do not know.” I answered. I glanced at the guards standing at the door. “I am…a bit stuck.”

They nodded. “Take heart, my lord, things will work out.” They placed a clawed hand upon my shoulder and winked. “You have many who are eager to see you happy.”

I bowed my head, “I know that, I am grateful.”

“There’s a but in there.” They said.

“But what if even after everything, my happiness can never be mine?”

“Hmmm, an honest question.” They reached for the last tray they had that had rows of steaming cinnamon rolls. I reached and pulled them from the tray and onto the serving plates on the table next to us. “Truly I am not the right person for this question, for I am ever the optimist. If you are not happy, my lord, then that is not your ending. Do not settle until then.”

“But what if he’s gone?” I breathed. I wasn’t certain if they could even hear me. To utter my greatest fear aloud, that Drunrag might be dead without my knowing, haunted me. I was suddenly shivering where I stood.

“Oh my young lord.” Doxxah lifted a plate with a roll on it and placed it into my hand. “Do not dwell on what we do not know. Take heart and in the meantime, warm your stomach with what is good. I have to be going, but I am always nearby.” They bared their teeth in a friendly, but also quite ferocious grin directed at the guards. They lifted their stack of trays and waved to the cook who was already working on a different dish before they made their way out of the kitchen.

I sighed. I supposed Doxxah was right. I had no way of knowing and thinking about it so obsessively made no difference. I needed to follow through on my plan.

If I’m not happy, then it’s not the end. Not yet.

Lady Allara didn’t react as if I had even stepped away when I sidled into the seat next to her and placed a plate with her own cinnamon roll in front of her. “For you.” I said.

Her eyes locked onto me, a sudden passing expression of fear on her gaze. “You are very kind.” She said, her voice was lower than normal, more mellow and somber. “I’m sorry.” she whispered.

“Sorry?” I asked. “Whatever for?”

She looked down into the bottom of her cup. “Our parents aren’t very honest people, are they?”

I drew my hands back from the table and onto my lap. “Allara, is there something you know that I don’t?”

Her hands were shaking and she couldn’t meet my eyes.

“Whatever you can do, don’t play their game.” She finally met my gaze. There was hate and rage in those eyes, her demure appearance shed away to reveal a creature filled with spite and revenge. “My father and your father…they each hold each other in a chokehold of secrets. There would be no reason for a wedding if those secrets were conveniently revealed.”

I narrowed my eyes. “How might one go about that?”

The doors suddenly burst open and I jumped, I spun in my seat and looked down at my uneaten pastry.

“There you are!” The Duke of Triel exclaimed, my father just at his heels. “We thought you two would be in the garden. We had to search all over to find you.” His voice was jovial, but when I spared a stare I caught a sharpness in his stare as he closed the distance between himself and his daughter.

“I should have known you’d show her your favourite haunts, son.” My father smirked, but it was not a kind one. “But at this hour? It is only an hour before suppertime.”

“My daughter tends to have an upset stomach if she’s consumed too many sweets before a meal. She’s probably got some shaking in her. Ah yes, there it is. Come my love.” The Duke of Triel spoke quickly as he ushered towards the young woman and pulled her away from her seat. I watched as her eyes met mine. There was nothing vacant or uncanny in them. They were alert and locked onto me and then, the duke’s hands were on her and she was dragged away and soon out of my sight.

Did they truly think I was an idiot to not see what was happening here? I looked over to my father, glaring.

“Any particular reason you’re so displeased with me today, son?” He asked dryly, “Or is it the same as usual?”

“What are you doing to her?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” My father asked. All innocence in his tone.

I rose to my feet. “You’re both up to something, and we’re being used as your pawns. I won’t accept such dishonesty, especially from you. It’s time we stop following in the steps of our forefathers. Look where it got you. Where it got our whole family. If I am to take your place as Duke, I will set the precedent now that this will not continue.”

“Hmm. I’m not sure what you’re seeing that’s making you so upset, son. I expect a bit more congenial attitude at supper. And you better be dressed.” Was my father’s only response before he turned and walked out.

I slumped back into my chair and looked down at my tea and cinnamon roll, both still warm. I took a bite and felt the hot buttery bread soften and melt in my mouth, cinnamon pervading any other flavor. I suddenly felt hot tears on my face.

“Drun.” I said under my breath, burying my face into my hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing without you.”

I should have hurried back to my quarters to dress for supper, but I held back for as long as I could. I savored each bite of the pastry, and then slowly sucking the icing and cinnamon off of my fingers. I imagined another world where Drunrag was sitting next to me, sitting on his hands as he expectantly watched me try something Doxxah taught him how to bake. I showered him with praises and let him lick the sugar on my lips before kissing me deeply.

My stomach twisted at the sight of it all. If only it could be so blissful. More tears spilled over.

“Brother.”

I raised my head and Selhar had taken Allara’s empty seat. His eyes were wide with concern.

“I’m fine.” I said, “Just thinking too much.” I sat up straight and wiped my hands clean. “Will you be at supper?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s just for you and Allara and the Duke. Father insisted on privacy.” He dropped his bottom lip. “Whose pastry is this?” He suddenly asked, a touch of his young childhood whine snuck into his voice as he looked down at the roll before him.

“Yours, if you want it.” I sniffed and wiped my nose. “Lady Allara was meant to eat it, but she had somewhere else to be.”

“But I think this might be yours.” He said, sliding out a small slip of paper from beneath the plate. In small, loopy script was written, “Altan.”

Selhar kept an eye on me as I unfolded the slip, but his mouth was already full of the warm roll.

Altan,

I don’t know if I will ever have the presence of mind to give this to you, but you must know the truth from my side. You and I are victims of dishonorable men who happen to be our fathers. Neither of us want this marriage, I’m aware. So let us help one another.

My father, the Duke of Triel, is the father of at least five illegitimate children. There may be more. I have in here included the names of those I was able to track down. Since my father discovered my knowledge of them, he has kept me drugged so that I will not reveal his secret. But you may be able to do something with this information.

Lastly, even when I am under the influence of the herbs my father forces on me, I am still aware of many things. I’ve heard our fathers speak about the underground guild known as the Red Hunters. I have always understood them to be a neutral force that is swayed by whatever is the stronger power. At this time, the Red Hunters and your father’s partnership is built upon a common enemy: the orcs that reside in the Fields of the Dead. The Red Hunters are promised a share of those lands after the orcs have been cleansed and your father intends to use the rest to expand the Trade routes that exist beyond Triel and Berdusk. Perhaps a bargain can be struck if you can offer something greater.

Should we both remain in the chains our fathers built for us, please know that I will not hold any ill will towards you.

Yours,

Allara

I passed the note to Selhar and rose to my feet. “See if you can get this to who it needs to. I have to go.” I reached for his head and tussled it lightly. I didn’t dare say anything else with the present company, but I met his stare and we each shared a nervous smile. “And take a sweet to Robin. He’d like that.”

Things would be alright, I thought to myself, I still had my brothers to look after. Drunrag haunted my every thought, but I had to be realistic. My brothers were just as important and I would not abandon them.

The dining hall was vacant of any guests except for myself, Allara, The Duke of Triel and my own father, the Duke of Berdusk. It was a small, intimate dinner arrangement that only took up one end of a very elongated table. I wished that Selhar and Robin could be there, if only to distract me from the uncomfortable stare I would get from the three other guests.

Allara’s expression had returned to its vacant, empty stare and she answered everything with the same politeness and poise that I was familiar with. I searched for some sign of that trembling, human girl beneath, but whatever the Duke had done to her had suppressed her completely. I eyed the Duke cautiously as he sat across and to the right of me.

In a rare act of humbleness, my father had left the head of the table vacant to sit next to me on my right and across from the Duke of Triel. It certainly gave the appearance of two happy families preparing for a joyous wedding amongst friends.

It was just so far from that when we all knew that Allara and I were being used as toys in a game that we never were explained the rules to. And one of us wasn’t even given the presence of mind to fight back.

The food in front of me was decadent and elaborate, I envisioned the cook when I had seen them earlier that day, bustling from one end of the kitchen to the other. It was a wonder they managed to make it all on their own. But the passing thought that I kept coming to was fear that maybe if I took a bite, I too, would end up just like Allara, caught in a web that put me exactly where my father wanted me to be. Compliant, pleasant, obedient to his every desire.

“Something the matter?” My father asked under his breath.

I looked over to him, blinking.

“You haven’t taken a single bite.”

Certainly words like that ease one’s worries when they believe they’re about to be poisoned. I felt my stomach as it twisted and I took a spoonful up to my lips and prayed silently to the gods that I would somehow be spared. Oh gods, spare me.

I waited for the inevitable to happen as I slowly chewed and swallowed the warm food. My father didn’t glance over in my direction as I held my breath and waited.

Nothing happened, thank gods.

“So, Altan.” The Duke Triel asked. “Your father and I took some time to discuss wedding dates. We believe sooner is better than later. What with kidnappings and other dangers about, we believe it’s best to heighten security and quicken the pace.”

“Is this something that can be negotiated?” I asked.

I felt a harsh boot jam into my foot below the table. I didn’t flinch or look away from the Duke of Triel.

“Well…is there a reason you would like to wait?” He asked.

“Oh yes, you see. I don’t think marrying so quickly is a competent choice on either of your parts. If such dangers are causing risk to myself and my betrothed, then such dangers also exist for our people. Until we can assure competent security and my kidnapper is brought before me, the wedding will not happen.”

“Son.” My father’s voice was tightlipped and forced. “This is not the time nor place.”

“Is it not?” I asked. “I was under the impression that you expected me to become the next Duke, what with all of those council meetings I was forced to attend. Should I not be thinking about the greater good for our people, and yours?” I nodded to the Triels. “I doubt a single council member would disagree that safety is our upmost priority, not secrecy. The people will want to celebrate this wedding, and I will have that for them, especially after so many years they’ve spent grieving the loss of our Duchess. But if you had wished me to be submissive as before, perhaps you should have expressed your intentions differently.”

Neither Duke spoke, which let me continue, “And seeing how between myself and Alarra, I seem to be the only cognizant one present in a conversation, I suppose the decision is left up to me, isn’t it my betrothed?” I asked sweetly.

“Whatever you wish, my lord.” She responded with her saccharine tongue. “I am happy to be by your side.”

I grinned. “See?”

“She has not been well, my lord.” Her father replied.

“That’s apparent.” I sniffed with contempt. “I promise the both of you, that whatever secrets you have hidden so deep beneath your fine coats and thick necks, I will expose the both of you, unless you promise me my kidnapper returned to me alive.”

“An empty threat son.” My father said, “End the theatrics now.”

I turned sharply to face him. “Is it? You don’t know what I know. Two can play this game father, and you were such a good teacher.” I said, my grin widening. I rose to my feet. “But the game will end and when it does, I hope your names are sent straight to the nine hells.”

I didn’t wait to be excused, nor did I look back to see their faces. Half of the battle was convincing them that I was worth being feared, intimidated by and carrying the confidence to not care what they thought.

I stepped out into the hall and let out a deep breath. I predicted that things would likely get worse before they got better, but I was determined to see this through.

I was followed back to my chambers with an extra guard in tow. I glanced back at them and winked before stepping into my room and hearing one of them following in behind me.

I was surprised to find Robin asleep on my bed. His face had sticky bits of frosting on his cheek, but he was tucked in safely in the arms of Selhar. They both looked peaceful, content, and finally resting. I let out a sigh. There would be no rest for me, not yet.

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 17

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 Word Count: 2257 (average 17 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racisms. All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

It was two, maybe three miles of walking in the dim torchlight through the underground path before we noticed the compact dirt and mud slowly transition to rock and stone. We started to recognize that the tunnel was leading us to some kind of cave. The walls became jagged, not uniform and smoothed down like the dirt. The walls were slick with damp and I felt my shoes struggle to stay balanced.

Drunrag’s hands were immediately on mine as he led me delicately through the uneven parts. His eyes were keen and I knew he could see better in the dark than I could. And it showed as he stepped carefully and purposefully, and I did my best to leap behind him and land where he landed.

The cave widened and we found that the mouth of the cave was cleverly concealed behind foliage. There was a sound of rushing water and we quickened our pace to follow it.

Drunrag pulled the foliage back and I stepped through and waited for him to follow. Everything was difficult to see during the night, but it looked as if the entrance of the cave opened just below a bridge that crossed over a small, steady stream that ran off from the river we could hear. There wasn’t enough water to reach the mouth of the cave and we were able to quickly scramble through the rocks and pebbles to get onto soft land.

Drunrag threw the torch into the river and watched as the light fizzled and died out. He took a hold of my hand and said softly. “I can see enough to lead us on.”

I trusted him with complete complicity and I squeezed his hand in return.

“Do you need to rest?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Let’s go.” I answered.

I didn’t know what time it was, but I could make a guess that we were approaching the peak of night. Everything was dark and I found myself holding onto Drun’s hand like a vice. I had read once that orc’s made great hunters thanks to their ability to see well in the dark. A perk to having an orc for a partner, I thought wryly.

“How far are we?” I asked. “From the city?”

Drun looked around, I couldn’t see much of his features, no more than a shadow in the dark, but I could see the whites of his eyes as he observed our surroundings. “We look to be just a half mile from the gates.”

“That’s not far enough.” I breathed. “The guards are probably on horseback and will gain on us in little time. At least we have the shadow of night as our advantage. Do you see anywhere we can hide ourselves?”

I was able to catch my breath as Drunrag planned our route. Even with everything happening, I couldn’t stop myself from exulting in some small way at that moment. My hand was being held by one who I had spent the last few months literally dreaming about. I knew we weren’t totally free yet, there was still so much risk, but I felt something strong and pounding inside me telling me how right this all was. I didn’t doubt or regret choosing this over a comfortable life.

“This way.” He said softly and he began to pull me through the darkness. “I see a copse of trees over there.”

We walked swiftly, yet quietly. I knew I was holding Drun back, that I was the slow one in the group, but he said nothing and he kept his hand on mine and never let go. The grass was dry and brittle and even with our careful steps rustled and crumbled loudly beneath our feet. Every so often, I would find myself looking back, waiting to see a line of torchlight pursuing us and every moment I didn’t see it, I grew more worried.

We rested in the dark cover of the trees and gathered ourselves before moving on to our next destination. Drun’s attention was tuned in to everything around us. I could hear him sniff the air and adjust our course to avoid something only he knew about.

“Are you alright?” He asked. He was so good at being worried for me. I felt warm every time he asked me.

I nodded. “Fine.”

“We should only rest for a moment here,” He said, his eyes looking at the town behind us. “I’m nervous still being so close. We should go as far as we can and take a long rest when there is some distance between us. Perhaps at dawn.”

Dawn. That was still likely hours away from now. I let out a breath.

I saw him shift to look at me again, “Will you manage?”

“I will. I have to.” I answered, determined. I adjusted the pack on my shoulders and rose to my feet. It was laughable how even as I stood at my full height, Drunrag managed to reach my shoulders sitting. I still wasn’t used to how large, how massive he was. He probably could carry me if he wanted. The thought of it was tempting.

I brushed the thoughts aside and changed the subject, “Do you have somewhere in mind we should go?”

“North.” He answered, I detected a touch of reluctance in his voice as he said it. “My family would be able to provide us asylum. They live in the Fields of the Dead.”

A pleasant name for a stretch of land, but it was the unfortunate burial ground for hundreds of soldiers from centuries worth of battles and conflicts throughout our history. I remembered hearing stories of the undead that would rise and wander through the fields. How the soil smells of blood. I wondered how or why a tribe of orcs would find themselves living there, but I dared not ask questions. The idea of seeing Drunrag’s family was something I had never considered. I had foolishly made the assumption that there was little contact between them. I sensed the anxiety it caused Drunrag to take us there, and I couldn’t help but feel a similar sense of dread at the idea of it.

“Oh.” I responded. “Will…will we be safe there?”

“They would be wise to not touch you.” His voice was heavy and low and it made my body shiver as I felt the possessiveness of those words.

“What about you?” I asked.

There was not an answer for a long while and I worried that I had asked the wrong question.

“I can handle my family.” He finally answered.

I hoped what he said was true, because I still felt a pit in my stomach at the thought of having to face them down.

We let the silence settle as we adjusted our packs, caught our breath and stretched, only it ended quickly when Drun grabbed my arm suddenly and hissed, “The gates are opening, we need to leave.”

I whirled around and saw the faint dim specks of torchlight in the distance and felt my heart begin to pulse loud and pounding inside me.

Hand in hand, we set out in the field. I was once again blind in the night and let Drunrag guide us through. He would shift our direction every so often and he often looked back to assess our pursuers. We were traveling once again in open fields. In daylight such a thing would spell our doom, but in the thick of night with little moonlight, we were safe, hopefully long enough to find cover.

My breath was all I could hear as I did my best to keep astride with Drunrag. I knew he was slowing down for me, but even still my legs were starting to scream at me for rest after having run this much already. I didn’t pull back though, instead I gritted my teeth and pressed on.

“They’re gaining on us.” Drunrag said between breaths. “We’ll need to find cover soon.”

We picked up speed and I started to feel like I was being dragged behind him.

“Here.” He said and we were suddenly taking a sharp turn and climbing up a small slope until we were resting against large protruding rocks. They were chill to the touch and I pressed my cheek against it. Drun then enveloped himself around me, I felt his broad chest against my back, heaving slow, steady breaths. His arms were on either side of me, pulling me tightly to him. I let myself be held as he pressed us against the rock and we both held still and waited.

I did my best to still my breathing, but I was still winded from running. Now that I was pulled into Drun’s embrace, my cheek was pressed against his chest and I felt the even rise and fall of his breathing. I could see hardly anything except the arm that was around my front that helped me to stay right next to him and then the dim view of the fields below us, a large dark blanket of shadow with no shape or form. I burrowed closer to him and I felt his chin rest above my head and he squeezed me tightly to him.

We heard the pounding of hooves and from my limited perspective, I caught sight of four separate torches emitting light across the field. They looked to be at least a half mile away from us, so I couldn’t recognize anyone from where we were.

My body was stock still and unmoving as I watched between Drun’s arms. The men were spread out, circling around and advancing forward. Their horses were light on their feet and danced across the field from one side to the other, covering distance in only a few seconds.

Drun turned his head away from them and buried his head into me. We held still, so still. My heart was out of control inside me, begging that we live through this, that we get through this night.

I closed my eyes, a prayer on my lips to protect us, oh great gods preserve us.

“Not here!” A voice called. It sounded like it had only been a few yards away. I felt the twitch and flex in Drun’s body at the sound of it and he gripped me tighter. I heard the pounding of the hooves fade off as they returned back to the team and they continued on.

We each were frozen for a time before I felt Drun’s muscles relax and he pulled away only slightly.

“What now?” I barely breathed the words out loud.

“We wait.” He answered.

We didn’t speak, we didn’t even so much as look at each other as we sat in the horrid dark of night. The sounds of the guards in pursuit were fading.

I started to lift my head to look out when Drun pressed me closer to his chest. “Not yet.” He hissed. “There could be more.”

I held back and I let myself be held. Drun’s body was warm, his chest damp with sweat. Under normal circumstances I might have found that to be a sensual thing…but I barely registered it at that moment as I held my breath.

I didn’t know how much time passed, only that my body ached and certain parts felt numb before, I shifted and shuffled and stretched until I was facing him and I leaned my back against the wall. I kept my hands up to my chest. I felt his arms adjust around me and pulled me safely into his chest.

“Where do you think they are? Still searching?”

“Most likely. I can smell them nearby,” he said. “We can’t accept the risk of continuing our travel if they're still out there.”

“So.” I started, “We wait?”

I felt his head nod against the side of my head.

I took in a deep, long breath and took in Drun’s scent. It was a manly smell - mostly sweat now, but I noticed the underlying reminiscent scent of Doxxah’s bakery and then an even more permanent smell of earth and ash on him, reminding me of when I first met him on the sunny day on the coast, dressed to work in the hot fires of the forge.

I jerked back when I also caught a faint whiff of something sweet, more fragrant. “Is that…cologne I smell?”

I wish I could have seen his face as I heard the bashfulness in his voice. “Doxxah helped me.”

I leaned in and took in another long breath, “It’s…it’s nice. Kind of fruity. I think it suits you.”

I felt him tense and he shivered.

I lifted my head up. “Are you alright?”

“Tickles.” He answered.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I didn’t realize until then how my nose was practically pressed into his collarbone. I moved to adjust myself, but his arms didn’t let up.

“Don’t. I don’t mind.” He said, his lips were just above my ears and I felt the vibration of his voice. I too shivered in response.

We held each other there and I found myself struggling to keep my eyes opened and my mouth would open wide with a long, drawn out yawn.

“You may sleep, if you want.” He said, “I’ll keep watch.”

I blinked and shook my head, “I’m okay, I’ll stay up.”

“Orcs are built to endure.” He said. “You need rest.”

I knew he was right, but I was feeling so helpless at that moment. I opened my mouth to protest when I felt a hand on the back of my head. He cradled it tenderly and whispered in my ear. “Nod Merad, sleep.”

I didn’t know what the words meant, but he said them with such gentleness, it was soothing and kind. I didn’t know that orcish could be gentle, and I closed my eyes wondering what other gentle words I would someday hear from him.

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oubliette-odette · 3 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 23

This is a shorter chapter, but we have to get Drunrag's POV on what's happening here, right?

I promise things won't be bad forever...maybe...

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racism. All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

I woke up to an intense pounding in my head and a ringing in my ears. I struggled to open my eyes, and I processed everything slowly, struggling to make sense of my surroundings. Here is what I knew for certain: I was laying on cold stone, ground in the center of a room and I was not alone. Beyond that, my brain could comprehend nothing but a pain that pervaded all other senses, all except that slow ringing in my head. My eyes remained clenched shut. Though I could not consciously think in that moment, I think I knew in some way that if I opened them, it would be accepting that the pain I was feeling was in fact real, and I could not escape from it.

“Master, he’s coming to.” Someone hissed nearby.

I fought to remain in the coldness of unconsciousness, but there was an ache in my fingers, in my stomach, my shoulders, my legs, everywhere that would not let me rest. I fought rest until I could no longer, and as I blinked my eyes open, I suddenly recollected everything that had brought me there to that moment where I was clouded with pain.

First, the hunters had shackled me with heavy chains on my wrists, ankles and my neck. A chain kept me tied to the back of one of their horses. I was expected to keep up on foot with the gallop of their horses. If I could not keep up, I was dragged for a time before they stopped and kicked me back onto my feet. I was bloody and raw from being dragged with no shirt, no shoes, and the chains soon stung against my raw skin where they rubbed and chafed.

Like magic, we stepped from the fields into a cool, gray room of stone. My delirium couldn’t understand how we transported ourselves so quickly, but I was dragged by the chains to a room that held dim light. My clothes were ripped from me and I stood naked in the room, taking in the tables around the perimeter that boasted a large paraphernalia of torture devices. Whips, nails, knives of all sizes, a saw. My blood went cold as they forced me to take a seat in the chair that waited for me in the center of the room and restrained me with wide leather straps on my torso, my arms, and lastly my legs. They left the chains on me and the sound of the clinking chains echoed in the dark chamber.

I had not heard from anyone since then and I remained in the dark and cold of the cellar. There was a dull pain in my body that seemed to permeate across all parts of my body. Even with the pain, my body grew too exhausted to stay awake any longer and I found myself drifting into a restless slumber.

I didn’t hear when they returned, I only heard the ringing in my ears and the rhythmic throb in my leg.

“You’re going to want that looked at.” A voice said in front of me.

I didn’t lift my head, not at first. It took everything to move. But eventually when they didn’t speak again, I slowly raised my gaze up.

Duke Hilmar, dressed in white robes, looked down at me with a steely gaze. Behind him was one of those hunters, their red eyes were all that I could see beneath their hood, but it gleamed with some cruel satisfaction. I returned my attention to the Duke standing before me. His smile was unkind and I felt a shiver of fear run through me.

This man would not help me. Or take any pity on me.

Duke Hilmar grinned back at me, “I’d like to spend some one on one time with my son’s seducer.” He smirked. “What do you say to that?”

I didn’t have words to answer him, my lips were pressed tight.

“Perhaps you would like something to drink?” He asked, then took a step back. His eyes didn’t leave me, and I could see the way they shone with some evil satisfaction that he stood so much taller than I. That he could easily break me if he wanted to.

I shook my head. I didn’t trust this ruse.

“Oh, come now.” He said, pouting. “I am the only one here who can give you the reprieve you seek. You live under my command when you eat or sleep. Consider this my one act of mercy. I’m giving you this opportunity freely. Take it before I destroy you.” In his hand was a small metal cup with clean water inside.

I shifted my attention from the cup back up to him, but I gave him no answer. He had not broken me yet.

He sniffed, “Fine then, I suppose we can skip the formalities and skip straight to the point. I could kill you, orc. You’ve poisoned my son to turn against me, and you’ve made a mockery of the Hilmar name. But killing you just isn’t enough. Because now you’ve turned my son into something I cannot forgive. That he would willingly choose you over anything. That he would even consider sleeping with you. It’s completely vile. You’ve mixed up his mind and confused him. And so I won’t let you die, orc. That would be too kind. No. I plan for you to suffer a prolonged and painful existence.

“You will be pleased to know that my son is above us now, making the final preparations to leave for his wedding. The wedding you so carelessly tried to interrupt. I believe he has finally come to his senses that such impulsive and truly impermanent romances such as yours are nothing compared to the fulfillment marriage can provide. He has made this choice on his own. He has chosen to abandon you, and greater for us all. He will make a fine leader some day, and an even greater father.”

Every word sliced through me, I tried not to let it show, but I don’t believe I could hide it, not then. “You’re lying.”

“You think so?” He asked, his voice light and unbothered. I hated his face, moreso when he smiled that wicked grin. “Then explain why he gave me this?”

The vial. Dangling from his fingers. Undamaged and filled with the blood and ashes of my people. Containing the anchor that tied Altan and I to each other. It couldn’t be. Lies. It had to be lies. I blinked furiously, my face burning hot with emotions I couldn’t completely decipher.

“You see the truth for what it is then. Good. You understand your place a little better then. So, that leaves us with you. What should I do with you? Free you?” He pondered for a moment, then tsked softly, “No, you would run right back to him, I know you too well now. But perhaps I can offer a bargain.”

I glared up at him, waiting for the next slice of cruelty.

“You will be kept here with the Red Hunters and you will do as they say. Behave, and you may have the chance to see sunlight again and gaze at my son from a distance living life without you in it. But understand this, even still I will starve you, isolate you from everyone you ever knew. You will not know kindness or rest and you will not see my son again without my say so and he will never see you. He will forget you, and he will not know that you live in the shadow of his glory. Your kind must remember that you are not meant to stray from where you belong. If I see any more of you in Berdusk, I will bring them down for you to watch as I slit their throats. They will know that you are the cause of each and every one of their lowly and pathetic deaths.”

My body tensed and flexed, anger forming in the pit of my stomach.

“Now, let’s see how you handle our little toy.” His hand hovered over the table before he stopped and looked somewhere I couldn’t see. He strode out of my vision and I heard the sound of metal against metal, and a hot sizzling, sparking sound.

The Duke returned, a red hot brand in his hand in the shape of a fiery sun.

“The Phoenix is a symbol of the undying, the undefeated.” The Duke said, “You will remember that the Hilmars remain above you, ever conquering.”

My heart was pounding so fast inside me as I watched the brand come closer and closer to me. I held my breath and clenched as I felt the sizzling heat hover over my chest.

“If you pass out, you get another mark. Understand?” The Duke asked.

I didn’t answer, but instead held nothing back as I screamed when the metal met skin.

***

I woke up in a different room, and hissed as I felt the burn on my skin. It was raw and I still smelled the burning in my nose. I was on a bed made up of a straw mattress and a thin, worn sheet. I looked around and realized that I was not alone.

A Red Hunter stared at me, smug. “The master says you can stay here and recuperate. But if you fall asleep, I will tickle you.” They lifted their hands, showing long, thick nails filed down to sharp points.

I knew he was not joking about such a threat, whether it made sense or not.

“Also he insists that you eat this.” With the soft part of their boot, they edged a plate towards me. On it was a roll and a bit of dried meat. It was deceptively normal looking. I looked up at the hunter, but I could read nothing in their hardened gaze.

“Eat,” They said.

I reached for the roll and bit into it. It tasted normal, and my stomach grumbled happily as I continued to eat it.

Only after I had eaten the roll and was part way through chewing the meat did I realize that my vision was beginning to blur and I couldn’t focus.

“What did you…” I couldn’t finish, I collapsed back onto the bed and winced as every part of me screamed in pain.

I blinked and suddenly Altan was there, standing in front of me. Glowing in a light that he created alone.

“Altan.” I choked, suddenly tears were running down my check. I surged forward, ignoring the pain I felt as I fell onto my knees at his feet. “Altan, why are you here?”

“To sing you to sleep, my love.” His voice felt distant, far away and his hand reached for my face, caressing it. “You’ve been so brave so far.”

“I cannot.” I said, shaking my head. “Don’t.”

His voice was suddenly in my head, singing soft, soothing, ethereal and haunting. I tried to clasp my hand over my ears, but his voice was in my head. I knew that all of this was fake, a hallucination from whatever had been cooked into that bread. But his voice sliced through every possible distraction and even as I tried to resist it, his voice urged me to close my eyes and just rest.

“Altan, no.” I whispered out before my eyes fluttered closed, the music lulling me beyond control.

Altan stared silently as the Red Hunter clawed into my bare skin again and again. The tears had not yet dried from my face as he swept a sharp nail across my face, and then all I could see was red.

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oubliette-odette · 4 months

Text

The Reluctance of Love Pt. 22

A/N: FRIENDS IT HAS BEEN SO LONG!!!! I'm so excited to have a new chapter out for you all! The new year kind of threw creativity and inspiration out the window, and for some reason this has been one of the hardest chapters to write. I lost count how many times I tried to rewrite it. I was just simply stuck and didn't know if I should just take the easy route and wrap the story up or work a little harder to get to the story I wanted.

Naturally I chose the hardest option for myself. 😂

Anyways, it's so great to finally be moving this story forward again. I once again apologize for the upcoming pain I will be causing you all.

I hope this year is being kind to each of you and may you continue to be well and happy. Your support means so much to me and I consider you all friends. 💚

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racism. All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

Damn you Drunrag. My mind repeated again and again, in rhythm with the pounding of my bare feet on the ground. Damn you for being so gods-damned selfless.

And damn me for running, I thought, sobered. Why the hells did you leave him?

I didn’t know why I left him, I would have rather died with him next to me then be left running and wondering if I would ever see him again.

My hand was gripping the vial around my neck. It was my lifeline. If I drank it and felt the pull between us, I would know he was alive. If I drank it and felt nothing…

No, Drunrag was alive. He had to be. He was…Drunrag. That meant he would live. For me. For us.

My breathing was ragged. I was so far from being as impressive at controlling my breathing and my gait as he was, and I felt like I was flailing across the open plains like a fool, but I had caught the whiff of smoke and was now following the sight of the smoke ahead of me.

I didn’t know how long I had been running. It could have been hours, it could have minutes. It didn’t matter when it meant keeping Drunrag alive.

I caught sight of the cluster of tents where the smoke was coming but was intercepted before I could approach it when an orc who was at least a head taller - if not more - than Drunrag seemed to appear from nowhere, a spear in hand. I nearly stumbled as I tried to stop myself from running into him.

Their eyes narrowed on me and their voice was gravelly and rough when they spoke. “Numhelad, chu omur?” They had a spear aimed at me.

Oh Drunrag, you couldn’t have taught me even one useful word in orcish, could you?

I was breathless and heaving and I lifted my hands. “Please.” I gasped. “Help me.”

The orc’s eyes narrowed more, confusion in his voice, “Quet?”

I couldn’t hide the desperation in my voice even if I wanted to. “Drunrag.” I yelled. “Drunrag needs help.”

“Drunrag?” The orc perked in recognition.

I nodded, “Yes! Drunrag! He’s in danger, we need to save him!” I pointed to where I came from. “Please, he’s out there. He could die!” I managed to hold back the words I wanted to scream at him, that I loved him and that if he died that it would mean that I would die with him. That I needed him to be alive. I needed him to be there.

Something must have clicked because the orc gave me only one last piercing glare before his shoulder dropped and he pointed to the campsite, already breaking into a jog. “Thila.” He grunted.

I could only assume he wanted me to follow as he continued his jog towards the camp. I had only just started to regain my breath when I broke into a run again to keep up, my legs felt like cramping, but I ignored it. I was so focused on keeping up his pace that I didn’t see the flash of steel. The orc in front of me was suddenly on the ground, growling and howling, a spear protruding from his abdomen.

I whipped around and saw two Red Hunters on giant horses, their speed was unrelenting as they were heading straight towards me.

Red Hunters meant only bad things. My heart plummeted at the sight of them.

The orc beside me was dying, I had no means to save him. I looked behind me to the village, then to the Red Hunters. There was no time to save him, no time to save myself, no time to warn them.

I looked down at the orc again. This could be Drunrag’s brother, a family member. I couldn’t leave him. I knelt down and pressed my hand to his chest, I could hear the wet rattle in his breathing and I sensed the life slowly escaping him. His blood would soon be spilled upon these fields that were already soaked with the blood of so many others. I didn’t know his name, but I was the reason why he was dying.

His eyes met mine, but they shifted to become unfocused and losing consciousness. On his side, he had only one hand free and he was struggling around his body, searching for something. His lips were trying to say something, but I couldn’t understand.

His hand finally grasped around a horn, made of bone and carved into the shape of some great beast. He pulled it from his belt and handed it to me, his eyes focused on me one last time before his head fell back.

The Red Hunters were on me and one of them reached down and tried to grab me from my collar. I scrambled away, clinging to the horn. This may be my only chance to save myself.

The riders were circling around me, I could only see their hot, ember eyes and knew they were just waiting for me to give them the right chance to snatch me.

“We have your orc, young lord.” One of them hissed.

“Come with us and you may get to see him one last time before he dies.”

I shook my head, “A Red Hunter never speaks the truth, I don’t believe you.”

Please, tell me Drun is alive, I thought to myself. Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead. Please gods, don’t let him be dead. I looked down at the orc beside me, and I didn’t want to imagine him as Drunrag, left out there somewhere with his blood slowly going cold inside him.

“Astute, little lord. But trust us or not, we will be taking you back to The Duke.”

The other one’s mouth twitched into a wicked smile. “‘Unblemished’ was his request. But that all depends on you.”

I was trapped. They circled me again and again like vultures and I was left with little options before me. If I ran, they would overpower me in seconds. I looked at the spear beside me, lodged into the chest of the orc who had helped me. I knew I wasn’t fast enough or strong enough to pull it out.

The horn in my hand felt smooth besides a few chips and nicks in the bone from use. I knew there would be consequences for blowing it, but if it saved Drunrag, perhaps it would be enough. He was willing to sacrifice his life for me. I was willing to do the same.

Perhaps it would be my final act of love and would be the final note on a story that was doomed from the beginning and would end with only sacrifice and heartache for both Drunrag and myself. Or, perhaps this would be my act of defiance, my cry for hope for love to endure. Perhaps Drunrag would hear it and we would find each other again.

There was only one way to know where our story would go.

I put the horn to my lips and with a large breath in my lungs, blew through the mouthpiece with all the force and power I could muster within me. A round, bellowing sound of a horn burst into the sky and echoed through the plainlands. The hunters were on me as I began the second blow and their hands yanked me up onto the steed and the hornblow was suddenly thrown away from me, cutting off the bellowing sound, the fields were then eerily quiet. I felt an arm around my neck, choking the air around me.

But it was enough. It had to be enough.

“You foolish boy.” The one holding me breathed into my ear. “I will enjoy punishing you for that.”

They tightened their grip and I felt faint as I struggled to breathe. My head felt light and I saw black bleeding into my vision. I could only think of Drun. His face in my vision, his rare quiet smile that filled me with pure light. Those silver, stormy eyes that always looked at me with only kindness, and understanding.

In the distance, I heard the bellowing response of another horn.

Thank the gods, I thought. Even as I struggled to think, even as my consciousness was sleeping, I couldn’t let this end without a fight. My hands grappled around the Hunter’s arm that held me. I kicked and struggled, I let my nails dig into his flesh. I pulled my weight as far as I could to throw him off his horse. I heard his voice catch as he struggled to keep control - he had not expected me to fight back - and he yelled out when all of my weight began to pull him off his center of gravity. I may not be as strong as any of these hunters but I was also too desperate to lose to them.

His grip slackened and I let myself fall to the ground. My body rattled at the impact and my vision went black for a few seconds, but I quickly scrambled to my feet and raced towards the camp. I didn’t look back and kept running, as wild and unsteady as my feet were. It may have been foolish, it may have been futile, but I also never considered myself to be all that wise.

I heard their hoofbeats, heard their yells and when I looked back, I saw that one of them had a crossbow aimed at me, and I heard the bolt release. I ducked and rolled and felt the lightest grazing of the bolt by my arm. I looked back and saw that the hunters all stood still, watching me.

“You spell the fate of your companion if you keep going, young lord.” The one who had grabbed me yelled. “Go to their aid and he will not live.”

“Fuck you.” I seethed. “Is what my father paid you worth this much?”

“That depends.” The Red Hunter answered, shrugging. “What can you offer me?”

All I had left in this world was myself, Drunrag, and the vial that kept us together. There was nothing I could give them. My breathing was heavy and I struggled to maintain my gaze with the leader, I felt so small at that moment.

“As I thought.” The leader responded. “You will be coming with us now. Unless you’d prefer we kill your friend.”

I held my stare. “Can you promise me he is alive?”

They shrugged, “It’s as you said, you can’t trust a Red Hunter. But irregardless, you are now in our care.”

But before any of them had the chance to approach me, there came another bellowing horn, closer now and I whirled around and felt the relief as I saw six or seven orcs all riding horses the size of giants towards us.

“Take care of them,” I heard the leader say, “I will take care of the boy.” He urged his horse forward and lowered his hand for me. The other two riders already began to aim their crossbows at the orcs.

“No!”I shouted, but I knew that I had no power in this situation to stop this from happening. I saw the bolts fly from the crossbows and heard the sharp thwip as the bolt lodged itself into the chest of one of the horses. I heard the shrill cry of the horse as it reared on its legs. The orc that was riding it held on and I caught it whispering in the horse’s ear before it settled. It was injured, but it did not seem to be dying. The other horses were pressing ahead. Another bolt, however, hit the neck of an orc and he fell off, a cry gurgling from his lips.

I didn’t want more death on my hands.

“With me, young lord.” I heard the Red Hunter’s voice behind me, and I swirled around to meet his gaze. He wasn’t grabbing for me like before, but instead waited expectantly for me. “Or he dies. They die” He glanced up.

I made one final glance at the approaching orcs, they were coming for me. No, they were coming to the aid of the call they believed was from their family, their friend. I was not one of them. I closed my eyes and took a breath. I wouldn’t be the one responsible for them dying today.

I was lifted up as soon as I raised my hand and the Red Hunters in unison turned away from the orcs and broke into a fast canter. I was once again caught in the grip of one of the hunters, but this time I didn’t struggle. I didn’t fight. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine the person at my back was Drunrag, taking me away. A part of me hoped that maybe the orcs would catch up and still take the Red Hunters down. But perhaps they would take me with them in the process.

The rider that held me whistled low and loud and I looked up. He didn’t look down at me, but I saw the blood-coloured eyes up close and I shivered at the sight.

The other Hunters returned the whistle and I suddenly felt a strange buzzing in my years.

My breath caught at the sight of a black shadowy whirlpool that stretched in front of us. It was some kind of summoning magic, though I had never seen one like this before. The air suddenly felt cold, like the whirlpool was pulling any warmth that existed. I looked back and saw the orcs were still in pursuit, but the Red Hunters continued to charge towards the whirlpool, urging their mounts faster before finally leaping towards the center of the pool.

Cold, icy sensations ran through my body and I gasped as we were enshrouded in black. I could see nothing.

And then suddenly we were suddenly no longer in the Fields of the Dead. We weren’t even in Berdusk as far as I could tell. I blinked furiously and looked around, my body shivering. We were standing in a dark cavern, dark obsidian rock above and below us. The Red Hunters all stilled their horses and their eyes were on me.

Cold dread washed over me.

I had to believe that this was the right choice. To save Drunrag. To prevent his family from being involved.

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oubliette-odette · 3 months

Text

The Reluctance of Love Pt. 22

Yaaaaayyyy! I'm back. I'm so sorry for the inconsistent scheduling! I promise I'm not going to abandon this story until it's over. You can trust me to hold to my word. I'm just as desperate to see our boys together and happy as you are.

But until then....we gotta cause as much angst as possible.

So without further ado, please enjoy. :)

Altan POV

I barely had a chance to catch my breath before I was suddenly pulled from the horse and dragged through the cold, wet caverns and up and up until I was brought into a large, expansive room with wooden beams as columns holding up a great, massive room.

No one spoke to me, no one offered me clothing. No one looked at me. My eyes wandered to every corner and shadow, hoping to spot Drunrag close by. He had to be alive. He had to be there.

“There you are!” I heard the voice of my father exclaim and I whirled around to see him rushing towards me. “You’re safe!”

I jerked back nervously at his reach. “Don’t touch me.” I started to say, but my father’s hands were on me before I could say the words.

“What did that beast do to you?” He jerked me around and his eyes were locked on my bare, exposed legs and the wrinkled oversized shirt. “What did he do?”

I shook my head. “That’s far from the truth, father.” I attempted to pull back from him, but his grip was strong and I was caught in his intense stare, but I felt like he was looking at all of me, but never met my returning gaze. “Where is he?” I asked.

“Where he will never hurt you again.” He said. “I will see him punished for his crime. No monster who touched my son this way will be treated lightly.”

“No, please, listen to me, father.” I pleaded. “I’m fine. He didn’t do anything to me. He’s innocent. You have to let him go.”

“No, you’re mistaken, son.” My father said gravely. “I have realized what has happened. He has charmed you. He has made you believe that you love him, but it is a lie. That is the only logical explanation for why my son would ever willingly involve himself with the enemy.”

I was stunned and I looked up at him with a newfound fear. He wasn’t just determined and spiteful, he was delusional. “You really believe that?” I asked breathlessly.

He looked at me with such intensity. “You have not been my son since you left home. I can only be led to believe he has done something to you.” His hands were on my arms and he jerked me back to study me further. “I should have realized sooner that he had done this to you.” He jerked to a stop and his eyes narrowed. “What is this round your neck?”

I snatched it before he could grab it. “It is mine.”

He shook his head. “This must be how he has charmed you. Give it to me.”

I pulled myself as hard as I could back from him and stumbled free from him, my hand went to the vial and, gasping, I looked hard into my father’s crazed gaze. “I said don’t touch me. You don’t have any power over me anymore. You never did.”

“Son,” he started.

“My name is Altan!” I shouted. “I have a name! I have an identity!”

“A…Altan.” he corrected, his voice soft. But it was already too late to stop what had been waiting to be released for so long.

“Hate me for all I care but you will not call me crazy or charmed or anything. Look at me and see me. This is who I am. It won’t change even when you remove that charm. You can’t fix this.” I pounded my hand against my chest. “I am Altan and I can’t be what you want me to be and nothing has made my life more miserable than knowing you hate what I am; but please don’t make me into someone I can never be. I would rather die than deny who I am any more. You can hate me. You can hate what I do. You don’t have to like me. But do not change me more than I have tried to do for you and for gods’ sake you will not hurt those I love any longer. I will not shrink to be what you want and if you so much as dare to try again, I will not hesitate to kill you.”

The words surprised even me as they came out. Kill? Did I truly mean it?

My father’s face was vacant of emotion, but his eyes never strayed from mine.

“Altan.” He repeated, slowly. “I hear everything you speak.” He placed his hands together and breathed in deeply, summoning his thoughts. “Perhaps…perhaps it’s time we have a conversation like men instead of like father and son.”

I took a step back. “I’m not interested in that. I want you to give me Drunrag and let me leave this place with him.”

He shook his head. “Son, you know I cannot do that. He is the enemy.”

I sighed exasperated. “He owns a forge on the Sword Coast. He has never once accosted Berdusk or any of its citizens. You forget that the contention between orc and man ended hundreds of years ago. We weren’t even alive. We no longer need to fear them or continue feeding into that rhetoric.”

“What would you have me do? Open the doors and let anyone into our town? Risk the safety of our land and people for the sake of making friends with strangers?” He sighed. “This is why I’m concerned about you. You are so naive to what is really happening outside your home. You think you understand this world after you ran away, but you know so little, son. You have to understand that I have only meant to protect you.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t believe that for a moment. After mother died, you didn’t speak to myself or my brothers for days. You left us to grieve alone while you invited diplomats to a feast the next day to arrange trades. You don’t really have any concern for me or my brothers. You only care about yourself and how you appear to others.”

His jaw tightened and I caught a glint of fire in his eyes. I realized how similar to my own it was. Were we truly so similar? “You accuse me of not caring?”

“I accuse you of caring about other things more. Money. Status. Vanity.” I explained.

“Do you see nothing good in me?” He asked.

I shook my head. “Tell me you never hated me and I might consider kind words.”

His head drooped and another sigh escaped his lips. “Altan…”

I lowered my gaze to the ground. “I think we understand ourselves better now. I’m not really interested in fixing what’s happened between us. Take me to Drunrag and we will make our leave.”

His hands tightened to balls. “You may believe differently than me, but I cannot let him go.”

“Why?”

“Because…I need you.”

I did not expect those words to come from his mouth. “What?”

“I need you, Altan. I have made promises to people more powerful than me that involve you.”

“You what?” I asked.

He had the decency to look ashamed as he explained. “I’ve kept this from you and your brothers, but we…we are in debt to many people. I’ve done my best to pay things back, but…certain deals had to be made in order to reduce the debt.”

“The Lady Triel?” I asked. “Is she one of them?”

He nodded. “You are promised to the Lady Allara of Triel. I cannot undo that.”

“And if I refuse, what then?” I asked, my heart was pounding loudly inside me, “What happens if our debts can’t be paid?”

“I do not know…but I fear for your brothers.”

“So…my future is no longer my own.” The words came out flat, not a question.

“Sometimes, one must sacrifice to ensure a better future for the ones that follow.” My father said. “As the eldest, that is your expectation and your honor. I had to make a similar choice when I was your age. I chose your mother over what I wanted to ensure a better future for our people, for you. You wouldn’t abandon this family to fend for themselves, would you?”

“I swear to the gods if you are lying to me…” I seethed.

“There is no lie, Altan.” He gestured to a desk behind him, stacked with papers. “Look for yourself.”

“But…how?” I asked.

He did not meet my eyes as he answered. “If it is any consolation, this is the debt of your grandfather, passed on to me. I have had to make deals with the most unsavory people to pay off what I could. This arranged marriage could be the last deal I have to make to save us from further shame.”

“Does Allara know that I am sworn to her purely for your convenience?”

“It is kept only between her father and myself.”

“And what of me? Does she know I will never love her?”

“That will be your responsibility to share.”

I closed my eyes. My heart was breaking. My head was torn between the choices before me. My brothers’ faces haunted the back of my mind. Drunrag’s too. I needed one while the others needed me.

“If you do this, I promise you I will not harm the orc.” He said. “I will let him go…perhaps when things settle, we can find a way for the two of you to meet again someday.”

“Someday?” I asked. My hand was clasping my chest, trying to claw to my heart.

“By marriage, you will inherit all of Triel family’s inheritance as he bore no sons. You will be the one who rules by her side in Triel and you will be quite busy. Busier than even I am, as Triel is larger than Berdusk. I have tried for many years to prepare you for this day and I pray to the Gods you hold yourself honorable during that time.”

“So…Drunrag must go.” I breathed aloud.

Why did the gods hate me so? All I had ever wanted was the freedom to go where I choose and love freely. Yet somehow I was now seeing a future where I would never leave beyond Triel, nor love the person I would wake up to every morning.

“This is truly the last debt that must be paid?” I asked.

He nodded. “The final debt to save us all.”

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 16

Bless you all for your patience as I wrestled through weeks of illness. Gotta love the holidays for all the little family get togethers that happen where people share their lovely germs.

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 Word Count: 2257 (average 17 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racisms. Steamy scenes will come to those who are patient. :) All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

I felt a soft touch on my arm and I whirled around to see Commander Gideon.

“The festivities are ending, you haven’t much time before you’re expected to leave.” He said, he turned and invited me to look back over to the other side of the room where the Duke was deep in a discussion with another older gentleman. The girl and Altan were still standing with them. I looked away.

“I will leave soon.” I said. “May I say goodbye?”

Gideon looked at me with a strange glint in his eyes. I couldn’t read him. His hand was on his hilt and I felt like I should brace for something bad.

Instead he took my arm and said softly, no louder than a whisper. “Come with me.”

Commander Gideon was the closest man who would equal my own brute strength and I feared resisting him in that moment. I followed him across the floor. We passed small gatherings of people and their heads swiveled around and then immediately up to to gawk at me. I saw Altan’s stare in the crowd and felt the distress in him.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Hush, not yet.” He replied.

I looked back and Doxxah gave a small nod at me. I didn’t know what I was supposed to interpret that to mean, but I trusted all was fine if they didn’t seem alarmed.

I was pulled out of the Great Hall and into a hallway that was not lit. I was swallowed by the soft, heaviness of velvet curtains. Typically darkness was not something that inhibited me, orcs could see well in the dark. The room was magicked somehow and I could make out nothing in the darkness of the room.

“I understand the Duke intends for you to leave by tomorrow.” He said, his voice was low, little more than a rumble in my ears.

I nodded, but realized in the darkness that he likely couldn’t see. “Yes. I am not to see Altan again once I leave.” Or I will be dead. Those were the words I couldn’t speak aloud. I was scared of death, but even more so dying alone without my family ever knowing.

The Commander hummed in response. “You should know that The Duke is using you both for his own gain. He means to send Altan from Berdusk to another city north of here, a place called Triel. You were not to know of it in hopes that the two of you would not find each other even if you should pursue one another.”

“What does he gain from us being apart?” I asked.

“I have learned that the Hilmar family, since before Taleisin, has accrued many debts. They are a family of noble standing, but their money was not managed well. Altan’s father chose a marriage of convenience to help assuage debts, but the Elves of Evermeet - the Lady Telmira Hinrathri - would not agree to aid the Duke when they learned his true nature.”

“Is that why the Duke seems to hold so much resentment for Altan and his mother?” I asked. “Altan told me he was not told where his mother was buried, as leverage for the Duke to control him.”

“Aye” The Commander replied. “The Duke uses information and blackmail to leverage people to aid him. Though they are in debt, he has been able to stave many repercussions because he possesses information on everyone. His access to information and secrets is unfounded.”

“So this arranged marriage,” I said, my head spinning. “Is it another attempt to pay off the debt?”

“The young woman that Lord Altan has been betrothed to is the daughter of a nobleman from Waterdeep. They are considered one of the richest families in Waterdeep. It would behoove me to believe that this arrangement is another attempt to decrease those debts. And The Duke will use his own son - one he struggles to control - to leverage the deal. You were the unfortunate victim of this situation.”

“What are your intentions?” I asked. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I have many reasons that I wish to see you free, alive and with the young lordling, but time does not permit me to go into all of them. But as Commander of Berdusk’s garrison, I believe it is my honor-bound duty to assure that the leaders of this city remain honourable as well. I have been performing my own personal investigations, and - regrettably - your arrival has aided me greatly in gaining collateral against the Duke.” I felt his hand on my arm, “But I must wait to make my move, and I will not let you or the young lord suffer before my work is finished. I’m going to see that the two of you make it out tonight alive and unseen.”

“What?” I asked, my heart skipped a beat.

“Stay here and wait.” He said. “No one will see you here.” His commands were simple, direct. I obeyed by saying nothing and staying exactly where I was.

The Commander left and I stood in the dark. I wondered if I was about to be taken to my death or if I was to be surprised with something more friendly.

I waited with hopeful, bated breath that Commander Gideon was a friend and that I hadn’t sealed my fate to a traitor.

I was rewarded when I heard in the darkness the soft familiar exhale of my merad, my heart and the shuffling as he struggled through the dark.

“Drun?” He breathed out.

“Here.” I managed and I reached out in the dark. “I’m here.”

His hands collided into mine and I clasped onto them quickly and tightly. “You’re here.” He breathed aloud. Suddenly his arms were around me and he was holding me. My arms instinctively wrapped around him and pulled him to me. We held each other in the darkness in the silence and said nothing. I heard his breathing, a soft shallow pulse as he buried his head into my chest and squeezed. The panic, the fear, the rage everything I had faced down the last few weeks, it vanished from my mind as I held him. My beloved, my companion, my mate.

All of the beautiful words of beauty that had ever been invented or created for art and poetry, I understood them all to be for Altan. My Altan. There were not enough words to make it clear what I felt when he was near me. To hold him in my arms was my joy, my honour.

“I must insist that we get the two of you out of here as soon as possible” Commander Gideon’s voice interrupted us. I felt the curtains shift around us and I felt the presence of him near.

“Where?” I asked. My heart was beating fast inside me and I was eager to leave. My arms did not betray holding my love as I searched the dark for Gideon.

“Perhaps some help?” Doxxah’s voice cut through the dark and I swiveled my head to follow it. I heard the sound of a door opening and faint, dim light revealed the entrance to a door that led downstairs. Doxxah was holding a torch that illuminated the dark hallway that we found ourselves, which I caught Commander Gideon standing next to us.

“Doxxah?” Altan exclaimed. He traded looks between Gideon and the Dragonborn and gasped. “I should have known you’d be involved somehow. How long have you had all this planned?”

“Questions later.” The Commander said gently and pushed us towards the door.

I caught a cold draft as we made our way down. Doxxah followed us down and gestured to two large packs sitting on the floor. “Some gear for the two of you. It’s got enough rations for about a week. And a cinnamon roll for you, young lord. Best of luck to the both of you.” They said cheekily.

I felt Altan’s hands on my arm and I looked down to look at him. His own expression reflected the same shock and confusion.

“Why would you do this?” Altan asked.

Doxxah shrugged. “Commander Gideon and I have many reasons to see the two of you free. We haven’t the time to get into it. You’ll need to follow this underground channel all the way to the end. It opens up just outside the perimeter of Berdusk. You’ll be about 20 miles away from the Reaching Woods, if you follow the river, you’ll eventually get to the woods. Use those woods if you must to conceal yourself from anyone who may pursue you. From that point forward, you decide where you must go.”

Commander Gideon stood at the top of the steps “I will do my best to delay anyone pursuing you, but eventually the Duke will likely send part of my garrison to pursue you both. I do not believe he will be merciful to either of you, should he catch you. Haste should be your focus. Haste and stealth.”

Altan looked at each of them and bowed low before them. “Thank you, Doxxah, thank you Commander. We are in your debt.”

“And I shall not forget it. Now go.” Doxxah’s voice was light, friendly, betraying the danger of this situation. They handed me the torch, which I held tight like a vice. “I hope I will see you both again someday under happier times. And Drunrag, remember, no matter what, don’t give up the fight. Fight for what you treasure.”

I nodded at Doxxah, “I will.''

I turned towards the Commander, giving him a slight nod which he returned in kind. Then I took ahold of Altan’s hand - so small and so perfect - and pulled him towards me as we suddenly broke into a run. While holding his hand, I spared a moment to exult over how wonderful that felt.

We didn’t spare a moment to speak or even look at each other, we simply ran. The torch flickered furiously as we pounded through. The tunnel looked like it had been built many, many years before, the ground was mere dirt and the tunnels were held up by lumber. The air was musky, a bit damp in place and the air was thin and faint. We found ourselves panting furiously as we ran.

I found that my pace was far faster than Altan’s and my legs being longer I realized I was practically dragging him behind me. He finally pulled me back and with gasping breaths exclaimed. “Drunrag, I cannot keep this pace.”

I stopped and took in large, swallowing breaths as I watched him slump and lean against the tunnel wall.

“I’m sorry.” I said, “I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head, “Don’t apologize, dear.” He managed a weak smile and he looked up at me. Already his eyes were brighter than before and I caught the glimmer of mischief in that smile. “You were only making haste as the Commander instructed. Only my legs are much shorter than yours.” He laughed weakly. “Just let me catch my breath and we will continue.”

“Would you…”I started, then hesitated.

He eyed me curiously. “Yes? Go on.”

“Shall I carry you?”

His eyes widened and he laughed nervously. “And then what would we do when you collapse from exhaustion?” He shook his head, “No, Drun, I will manage, maybe just set yourself at a nice jog?”

I braved a shy smile, “I can do that.”

He grinned, “You’re truly remarkable, Drun. I can’t quite believe this. I didn’t see this happening for us.” He broke into a laugh. “I hadn’t expected our running away to feel so exciting. Even though I’m terrified and I’m not sure what we’re even doing, I also feel like laughing. You’re here with me and we’re running away. Drun…does it feel real to you?”

I shook my head, “Not yet.” I didn’t think it would until I knew we were both safe. Yes, Altan was here in front of me. Yes we had managed to get out of the Duke’s Hall with help from some inside friends. But I didn’t know what that meant yet, or where we would be. How safe would our future be if the Duke is desperate to see Altan married and absolve him of his debt? I didn’t know the answers to so many questions yet, but I could admit that we were one step closer to whatever we were dreaming for ourselves and our future.

“Shall we continue?” I asked after a few minutes.

He gulped and nodded slowly. He reached for my hand again and squeezed it. “I’m ready.”

We began to move again, with urgency in our steps, but I held back and controlled my pace. We didn’t run, we both knew that we needed to save as much of our energy as we could should we need it.

“Do you think your father knows of this place?” I asked.

“I wasn’t even aware of it. And I’ve explored those halls since I was young, I thought I knew every secret nook and passage.” He confessed. “This had to have been built for the protection of whatever noble family lives in the Hall as an escape from danger, so possibly he’s aware of it. What I’m wondering is if my father would expect us to use it.” He looked up at me. “What if at the end of this tunnel he’s waiting for us?”

I met his gaze, “I’ve been thinking the same.”

“Do we surrender?”

I shook my head, Doxxah’s words in my head. “No, we will fight back.” I stopped and reached for the chain that held the vial and lifted it from my neck and held it in my hand. “This vial…it’s able to bring back lordhovid if we need it.” I let it dangle between us.

“What’s in it?” His eyes followed the dangling vial, “Is it blood?”

I nodded, “It’s my blood mixed with those from my ancestors. Once drunk, it will return the lust to both of us. If we are separated, it may be the only way that we can find each other again. I want you to have it.”

He reached out his hand and I let the vial drop into them. He held the vial delicately.

“We should only use it if it becomes an emergency.” I advised. “Once drunk, there will be no way to remove the lust until it is acted upon.”

“Meaning…” He looked up at me, daring to look shy and coy. “We mate?”

I flinched at those words, I still hated the sound of them. But I nodded.

He brought it over his head and let it settle onto his chest. He looked down at it. “All of this time…you’ve felt nothing for me from lordhovid…and you still did all of this for me?”

I felt as if my face was starting to burn. I couldn’t meet his eyes. “I won’t lie and say I haven’t been confused about what all of this means and what I want. I’m still scared, but…” I couldn’t form the words, and the thought of trying to make sense of all of it in this dark, dank space didn’t feel right.

Altan’s grip on the vial was tight and he looked down at it with a unique smile. “I think I understand.”

I wanted to smile, but the reality that our window of escape grew smaller as each second passed, I cleared my throat and said, “We should continue onward.”

With hand in hand, we found ourselves picking up the pace and heading onward.

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 19

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 18 Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racisms. All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

We traveled the rest of the day without a hitch and by midday we were under the cover of the trees. My body was tired, but I didn’t want to slow us any more down than I already was. We didn’t speak much while we were out in the open. Drunrag’s eyes were everywhere as we dashed through the open plain from one small tree or boulder to another. We were fortunate that no one spotted us and both of us let out a long sigh of relief when we found ourselves in the dark shadow of the forest.

“Have you been here before?” I asked.

He shook his head, looking around. “It is not familiar to me.”

These were the forests that my father liked to hunt in the most, many deer and elk had been found daring through the dense trees. I remembered that I always prayed that the deer would be spared, and would cry when my father returned with their carcass.

I hadn’t visited it much since I uninvited myself from hunting excursions, and while my memories were less than pleasant, I found that with Drunrag next to me, those memories didn’t feel so dense and pressing. Everything felt less large and scary with him next to me.

I reached for his hand to hold it, but I hesitated, pulling my hand back to my side. I knew he was still nervous to show affection, though it was clear we felt something for each other. I looked up at him, wondering. I knew without a shred of doubt that I loved him. I would wait however long I needed to to be able to hold his hand without scaring him.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked.

His eyebrows raised and he looked down sidelong to me, “Yes?”

“How did you manage to remove lordhovid?”

He closed his eyes, taking a breath, “I don’t remember much, so the exact details I don’t have. But the matriarch of my home gave me this horrid drink that burned it out of me. It was learned from some of our most ancient rituals. And she made that vial for if ever I was to change my mind.”

I grabbed the vial, it was cool to the touch and the red liquid inside strayed over to my right until I adjusted the chain around my neck. “Would you…would you ever drink it if you had the choice?”

I looked up at him, I couldn’t deny the hope in my voice and in my gaze. I wanted to know if I could ever get the chance to be loved by him completely and wholly, in every way imaginable.

His steady gaze fell and I noticed how he tripped over his feet after the question. He coughed and looked away from me.

He didn’t answer at first, his eyes had glazed over and his gait slowed as he pondered the question. Physical intimacy seemed to be his greatest insecurity and fear. Admittedly, I didn’t really understand it at first when we first met. I was immediately attracted to him and was willing to share one night with him to get rid of the symptoms of the orcish lust - the thought of it didn’t really scare me and I honestly looked forward to it. Since then, I must confess that I spent many nights dwelling on it and what it would be like to share the most intimate of touches and sensations with him. I wanted to see all of him. Feel all of him and share everything in return. Even after lordhovid had passed, I still found myself at night dreaming of what it would be like to be held down and ravished by him. I blushed even remembering those dreams.

But it was truly a moral dilemma for him to make that choice to do anything like that. I wondered if it made me a bad person that I was so ready and willing. I felt such immense guilt that even before meeting him, I had kissed many boys. I had been lonely and I was desperate to find ways to defy my father after my mother died. I was grateful that our time apart helped me to see that it wasn’t anything wrong with either of us - it simply was that we were different, and that neither of us were bad or weak for the choices we made.

In hindsight, I do not know if I would have been given the chance to know him as slowly and carefully as I did if we had started our relationship following the lust of our bodies. Everything about loving him came from the slow and patient tenderness that we shared with each other. We had managed to find something delicate, but beautiful tied around the deepest feeling of yearning. We learned of each other gently and he held me grounded through it. I was able to learn the way he reacted to me with even the smallest, chastest touches. It was my honour to see him smile at my jokes, and I was honoured whenever I saw him display uncanny bravery in situations I knew he was uncomfortable in. And through each moment we found ourselves facing obstacles, and he wouldn’t flinch from it, but instead pressed himself deeper into danger, under the dark gaze of my father to be with me, it assured me again and again how I would never find another as good as he. He was perfect, and I would see no loss if we never were intimate. He filled my heart already enough by just being who he was.

“It’s okay,” I started to say, “I won’t ever…I won’t ever make you.”

“Thank you,” He said, his voice was low and I could sense the strain. “Altan…I…” he cleared his throat. “I do not want you to think that I do not feel anything for you.”

“I don’t believe that at all.” I said. “We’re here, running for our lives because we wanted to be together, right?”

He nodded. “Yes. That is true. However, I do not think I could ever drink it.”

“Oh.” I said.

“I would never want to love you under such influence.” He said, “I would prefer to love you as me, and you as you. Drunrag and Altan. No lordhovid, no lust. Just love...just us.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice. Drunrag was epically romantic, and it was something that continued to surprise me again and again.

“And I…” He bit his lip, looking for the right words, I looked back up at him, expectant for the next words. “I am also scared to hurt you.” I noticed his cheeks were darker and his hands looked unsettled and uncertain where to be.

I bit back the smile creeping onto my lips, and I did my best to answer gently. “I know this is not easy to talk about.”

‘I want to.” he said. “I..I want to be able to talk to you about this. I’m just…inexperienced.”

I nodded, “I’m not sure that I’m much more experienced than you, but let me assure you that there are ways we can make sure that neither of us get hurt. I’m not scared of you hurting me at all.”

“But orc mating is,” He closed his eyes, grimacing. “Orc mating is different. It’s violent. Our bodies are built for strength, dominance, stamina. I do not know what I will be like and I don’t want you to be afraid.”

“We can always start slow and see what happens.” I finally reached for his hand and held it between both of mine. “I trust you Drun. Even just you expressing that fear tells me that you are more in control of yourself than you give yourself credit for. But we don’t have to do anything until you feel ready to. Perhaps when things feel safe for us?”

He let out a deep breath, “I would like that, yes.”

I nodded, and then holding the vial up I said, “Do you trust me with this?”

He nodded, his grey eyes holding mine. “I trust you completely, Altan.”

I looked down at it and twirled it around, “I’m glad you do.”

“You would drink it?” He asked.

"In a heartbeat if I knew you wanted it.”

His mouth fell open and he shook his head, “Why?”

I shrugged, “Sleeping with you seems…wonderful.”

I saw his eyes dart away from me and he pulled his hand free from me. “I hope that I do not disappoint you.”

I laughed, “I’m not sure that’s possible, love. You’re built like a god.”

He choked back a laugh. “Like a what?”

I winked at him once his eyes met mine. “You heard me. Once I get my hands on you…well…you’ll just have to wait and see.”

Seeing Drunrag flustered was a pure delight. I probably should have felt bad for teasing him so, but I enjoyed watching his body react. He was biting his lip, and his eyes were unfocused and distant - I imagined his brain was running hundreds of small, risque scenarios in his head - as were mine, if I was to be totally truthful, Drunrag was honestly corrupting my mind with all the things I wanted to do with him - and his muscles were tight, taut and thick as his entire body grew tense. I wondered, even without lordhovid, was Drunrag’s body still experiencing reactions to me? I truly didn’t understand how any of orcish mating customs worked - and I still didn’t totally know why or how we got ourselves into the situation - so watching his reactions left me curious.

Drunrag seemed incapable of speech after that - my poor dear - and so I comfortably filled it with stories: tales from my mother’s people over the seas in Evermeet. Stories from my childhood days and how I caused my father the greatest amount of grief as I stole away from him at every chance to explore the city, to uncover every possible secret passage, to taste every sweet morsel the cook made and to make friends - though those had always been few and between. My father controlled who I met and the ones he approved of didn’t really seem interested in being friends with a half-blood child who’s choice of interests didn’t involve a sword or girls. Drunrag was a rapt audience - I could see the micro changes in his face as he took in each story and I learned that his eyes grew sad whenever I talked about my mother, or the parts of my childhood that were less than idyllic. He never said anything, but I didn’t need his words to know he was attentive.

I changed the subject and started to tell him bawdy tales that I learned from the cooks and Doxxah and we both found ourselves caught holding our stomachs with laughter over some of them. Oh how I loved hearing his laugh. It was a full bodied laugh, and rivaled the volume of my own - which was loud and irreverent - and his deep rumble in his voice left my chest fluttering when I felt it vibrate through me.

Oh gods, I thought, I loved him.

“We should rest soon.” He said, after a time, looking up. “It’s growing dark.”

I hadn’t realized that until I followed his gaze and saw through the canopy of the trees that the sky was muted and dim. Night was coming.

“We can light a small fire tonight.” He continued. “I don’t sense anyone near. Haven’t since this morning.”

We traveled only a bit more until he found a nice thick cluster of trees circling around to conveniently make a small clearing that just fit the two of us perfectly and not much more. It was cozy, but more importantly it helped conceal us.

Drunrag worked on starting just a small, humble fire and I set to pulling out the food that Doxxah had packed for us. We managed to have a small meal of dried meats, fire roasted potatoes and the last of Doxxah’s cinnamon roll. Night and its blanket of dark overtook us quickly and I was grateful for the dim crackling glow from the fire to keep us company. Drunrag sat across from me, his eyes lost in the labyrinthine tendrils of the flame as he chewed. It gave me the perfect chance to stare at him. Devils take me for being so gods damned obsessed with him, but I was so lucky to get to look at him.

“You should get some sleep.” He said, and his eyes shifted from the fire to mine. He caught my stare and I saw even in the shadows that his cheeks started to darken. “I’ll keep watch.”

“You didn’t sleep last night either,” I protested. “Let me keep watch.”

He shook his head. “It will be fine, I can manage for a few days more, and then we will be with my people.”

I frowned, “Drun…”

He shook his head. “Sleep.” He reached behind him and pulled a bedroll that he passed to me. “I will watch over you.”

I still didn’t like the answer, but I knew he wouldn’t lie or exaggerate the truth. I tried to recall if I remembered reading anywhere about orc stamina - I had to believe that being skilled hunters and warriors whose survival instincts excelled beyond most that they would have the ability to go without sleep for days - but I still didn’t like how seemingly useless it made me.

“Well at least let me sleep next to you.” My voice came out a bit petulant, like a whiny child, but I didn’t really care at that moment.

“Not a good idea.” He said, his body suddenly tense. “Not yet.”

I narrowed my eyes - was this another indication that I was affecting him? I held his stare and willed him to give in, but his own returning stare was hard and determined.

“Djenifad, I need to focus.” He said, his voice was gentle and I did feel like he was suddenly speaking to me like I was a child. “I cannot keep you safe if you distract me.”

I could not argue further, so I unrolled the bedroll and pulled the thin blanket over top of me and I laid down on the other thin blanket beneath me. With it being autumn, there was a slight bite to the air and I curled up to hold the heat in me. I looked one last time to Drun and I saw he was sitting more relaxed and his gaze was now caught up in the stars that peeked through the trees. He had a hand resting on a knee and he was twiddling a piece of dried meat between his fingers. He seemed to be lost in many thoughts.

“Drun.” I said.

He hummed in response, not breaking his gaze.

“How do you say goodnight in orcish?”

“Shad klizmad” He answered, his voice low and reverent. His gaze fell and his grey eyes fell on me, they were like clear glass in the fire’s light and I swear the stars were caught in them.

“Shad klizmad, nod merad.” I said, the words were awkward and unfamiliar on my tongue, but I saw the way Drun’s eyes grew wide and then softened as he revealed a soft, secret smile.

“Shedz hankshath, djenifad.”

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 18

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 Word Count: 2257 (average 17 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racisms. All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

It had only been a few hours when night let itself drift into the soft pale light of the morning. Altan was still snuggled into me. Tightly. My arms were stiff from holding him, but I refused to let go. My body felt the strain from being awake through the night and holding such a tense position for so long, but I was wide awake and I roved across the now gray horizon to catch sight of anyone looking for us. I had not yet seen anyone return back to Berdusk. Even if I had been tired, the fact that Altan had been touching me for this long was reason enough to keep me up all night. I was frozen in place, completely stock still and waiting for the dream to shatter, for something to break the moment.

Yet, Altan slept. Soundly. Peacefully. Right next to me.

I was dumbfounded. I was also incredibly nervous.

What was I supposed to do?

I knew that we should be moving soon, but every time I looked down at him, all I could see was his small frame, fitting perfectly within my hold and the peaceful rise and fall of his long, slow sleeping breaths. If I leaned over, I could see his gentle expression and the way his hand had bunched the front of my vest into his hands and clung to it. Anytime I shifted, his hands would tighten around the fabric and he would pull himself closer to me.

I might have moved many times on purpose just to watch again how he reacted to me.

As soon as the grass took on a pale hue and the sky turned a misty gray, I didn’t want to risk waiting any longer to move. I gently laid a hand on Altan’s shoulder and gave one small shake. “Altan.” I said, softly.

A moan escaped his lips and he once again drew himself to me. He buried his head into the center of my chest.

“Altan, nod merad.” My heart. The words felt unfamiliar and strange in my mouth. But I liked it the more I said it. “We must be going.”

He started to squirm, his head burrowing into me like he wanted to bury himself into my chest. He opened his mouth wide into a yawn and suddenly he was completely stretched out and his limbs were everywhere. I had to lean back to let him extend his arms out.

He sat up and I noticed how his hair was flat on the side of his face and the center of his forehead was red where he had been resting it on me. His eyes and cheeks were soft and reminded me of the dough Doxxah made. I wanted to squeeze him. I moved my hands to sit on them as I waited patiently for him to awaken. Everything about this was new to me, and I loved discovering this about him.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

He blinked and opened and closed his mouth a few times. I was getting the sense that Altan was not a morning person. He ruffled his hand through his hair, somehow making his appearance even messier and also more adorable. I bit my bottom lip and held back the urge to reach out and touch him.

He finally seemed able to focus and his attention fell on me, and then like the morning sun, his shoulders lifted and his lips parted into an open mouthed smile.

“It really wasn’t a dream.” He proclaimed.

I shook my head and managed to smile. “Still here.”

We seemed to have developed an odd habit where we let conversation die before it even started, replacing it with long stares. I knew for me, it was because I was terrified to say something stupid in front of him. And he was also very beautiful to look at. Words tended to disappear from my brain the moment I saw him and it would take me a few minutes to recover my speech. I had no idea why Altan froze into a mute daze, but I could only hope it was good.

He finally broke the silence with a small laugh, “I’m..I just…I can’t believe that you’re here. We’re together.”

“Not completely.” I said. “We need to be moving soon.”

He became sober and grabbed his knees and hoisted himself to his feet. “Then let us be off.”

I pulled my pack off and pulled a small paper package, I unwrapped it and revealed a small cluster of tarts, each filled with a bright red raspberry filling. “Eat. We’ll need it to make it today.” And from another pocket I pulled out a waterskin.

His eyes softened and he leaned down, reaching for a tart. “You take such good care of me.”

I felt my face go hot and I looked at the ground, reaching for a tart of my own. I downed it in one bite and then handed the paper sack to him. “I’ll go take a look around.”

I rose to my feet and looked around us. The land surrounding Berdusk was mainly plainlands with the occasional copse of trees and clusters of large boulders. We would need to rely on every available tree, rock, or shadow we could find to keep ourselves concealed from plain sight. The later the day would climb, the more difficult it would be to hide.

“I’m ready.” He said beside me. He had his pack on his back and his hair was pulled back from his face, looking a little more put together.

I nodded and with my pack over my shoulder I led the way onward.

We walked instead of ran and my head was constantly looking over our shoulder, ahead of and around us. I saw the way Altan watched me and would sometimes look out.

“How far is your home from here?” He asked.

“Couple days. I’ve never come from this way before.”

“Do we have a map?” He asked.

“Don’t need one.” I said. “I can always find home.”

“Is that an orc thing? Or a Drun thing?”

I hummed, “Most orcs stay in their tribe their whole life, we aren’t meant to be solitary. Our instinct is always to return home.”

“What made you become solitary?” He asked, then hurriedly followed up, “I don’t think it’s bad at all that you’re that way. I only meant to ask because I’m curious. Everyone is different, and I think that’s good.”

I smiled down at him, “I don’t really know. Perhaps my head got hit too many times when I was young and addled my brain. Perhaps there really is something wrong with me.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with you.” He had to pick up the pace to stay abreast with me, and I guiltily fell back, slowing my pace. “I know your family has called you broken for a long time, but I don’t think so.”

“Because everything that you admire is what my family sees as weak.”

He shook his head, “But that doesn’t make you broken. Perhaps you’re something greater than them. You could be bringing in a new era to your people.”

I shook my head, “An admirable thought, but not likely.”

“Then perhaps you were made that way for something greater for yourself.”

“Like you, maybe?”

He blushed at my answer, “I don’t know about that. I’ve only made things harder for you. I worry that you’ll regret choosing me.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I know how much it matters to you that you have your freedom to choose. During lordhovid I think it really scared you because you didn’t want to be forced to do something you didn’t want, nor did you want to force me into it either. Forcing yourself or anyone else to lose their autonomy was too much for you. I just hope that I haven’t pushed you to do something that you aren’t ready for by making us run. You’ve given up your home, your forge and your ability to earn money to support yourself.”

“Altan.” I said softly.

He doesn’t hear me and continues. “We’re on the run and I’m barely even able to keep up. You’re such a man and can do anything. I’ve spent most of my life in one place and learned how to do artistic things. I know nothing about hiking, or hunting or surviving out in the wild. I barely made it to the Sword Coast with my wit, but the wilderness scares me. I’m about to be the greatest burden on your life ever. “

“Altan” I repeated.

“And I’m not even sure I’m prepared for what your family will think of me. I’m not an orc, nor am I a woman. Though I’m sure I’ll pale in comparison to the women in your tribe too. I’m not even sure if you’re even attracted to men like me. And I can’t give you children- though I’m not sure I would want to do that even if I could give you one. The idea of it sounds truly awful and my father has practically cured me of ever wanting to be a parent. But what if you want babies and I’m suddenly the person you’re stuck with? Will your family resent me for that? Will you resent me for that? I’m sure your family is lovely but I'm just nervous about what they’ll do to me when they realize that I’m it. I’m the one you’re stuck with because of something that you didn’t want in the first place.”

“Altan!” I snapped. My voice came out like a low rumbling bark and I noticed how Altan jumped as soon as I said it.

He bit his bottom lip and looked up at me. “I’m sorry, I sometimes get caught in a spiral of thoughts.”

I stopped and grabbed his shoulder. “Altan, I am not good with words, so please listen closely. Lordhovid may have brought us together by mistake, but we are both standing here. I do not make decisions without thinking. We chose this. I chose you without my body’s influence. I am scared to be yours - I do not know how to act or feel - but I would not choose anyone to be with now…now that I know you. Should that make me a broken orc, I will bear it proudly. I have my own fears that I am not adequate enough for you and that being with me will ruin your reputation…but I will fight for you no matter what.”

“Drunrag…” He began. “You…Do you mean it?”

I nodded. “Orcs do not lie, nor do they exaggerate.”

“But…what if I can’t give you what you want?” He asked.

I shook my head. “I do not want children. Nor do I want a woman. I want you.” I pointed to the vial around his neck, “I trust you with the one thing I fear more than anything. I trust you. And I choose you. There is no one else I can be with now.”

He let out a long, loud breath and his hand was suddenly on his heart. “Oh my, I’m not sure why it took this to convince me. Drun, I’ve been so scared and angry and frightened by everything my father has been threatening, it’s made me so emotional and irrational. Can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, nod merad.” I resumed our walking and I made a quick glance around to make sure we were safe.

“You’ve said those words before. What do they mean?”

I bit my lip, hesitant to say it. “It means my heart.”

I couldn’t look at him as I felt my face begin to burn with embarrassment. I could feel his eyes on me, and I felt my body tense up at the pressure building between us. It felt like a bridge, an invisible bridge that tied our feelings close together. If I looked at him, I would likely begin to drown in the emotions he returned back to me.

“You…” He began, his lips teasing into a smile. “You’re quite the romantic.”

“Please don’t mention it.” I said. “My family calls me soft enough as it is.” I stopped and pointed ahead of us. “There looks to be a forest a few miles ahead. If my memories serve, the river that leads to the Plains of the Dead follows through that forest. We’d be wise to travel under its shade.”

“Right. Only a few miles to get there.” He said, then took a deep breath. “We can do this.” It sounded like he was saying it to motivate himself more than anything else.

“Shall we rest?” I asked, struggling to hide the amusement in my voice.

He shook his head. “We must not misuse the time we have.”

I nodded, “Very well.”

“You're mine as well, just so you know.” He said, his voice light.

“What?”

“My heart.”

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oubliette-odette · 2 months

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Bitchking: how did you seduce my son?

Drun: *very naked. his very big dick in plain sight*

Bitchking: ....okay fair

(you don't have to post or reply to this one if it's too much lol)

Look we all know that Drunrag is hung right? I don’t think he knows that, but we do. Altan certainly does. And now the bitchking himself - which is the perfect name for the Duke. I may be calling him that from now in when in my head as I write him.

okay but the amount of GIGGLES this gave me was amazing and thank you for making my entire week.

#i need more of this in my life #thank you for sending this and i love you #drunrag x altan #my fic

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oubliette-odette · 6 months

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Hi! Hope you're having a nice day. Wanted to ask if you'd be willing to make a tag list for people who want to get a notification when you post new chapters? (I absolutely understand if not)

Yes! Absolutely! That’s a brilliant idea! 💯💯💯

If anyone else would like to opt in and be tagged when I post a new chapter, just let me know and I’ll create a list!

Also, I’ve been sick and writing nonstop and have a lot to post for you guysssss. I’m so excited to see what you all think.

Much love to you all and hope you’re all safe.

#drunrag x altan #ask tag #monster lover #writing #monster boyfriend #thank you so much for this idea #i love my mutuals

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oubliette-odette · 7 months

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A thought just crossed my mind that Altan is 100% clueless about the possibility of reversing the anti-lorhovid thing, my man doesn't even know how it was reversed in the first place. The second Drun gets the brilliant idea to track him down via lordhovid poor Altan is going to be so confused

You are so correct! Poor Altan would be like "wtf, why is it happening again?!"

I do have ideas of what I want to do with that little vial, hopefully you like it! 🙏 but I'm contemplating maybe writing a scene just for funsies where Altan is alone and Drun drinks the vial. Would anyone be interested in that?

#writing #my fic #drunrag x altan #asks #send messages #i ove that you messaged me this made me so happy!#please keep telling me your thoughts and ideas!

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oubliette-odette · 8 months

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The Reluctance of Love Pt. 12

If you thought I'd make it easy for my boys to be together....honey, you've got another thing coming.

I'm so sorry 🙃

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 11, 12, 13 Word Count: 3349 (average 25 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, homophobia, fantasy racisms. Steamy scenes will come to those who are patient. :) All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil.

Altan POV

The Council was a group of old men who should have probably died or retired ages ago and they still believed their opinions mattered to generations much younger than them. I sat at the front of the long, rectangular room next to the seat of my father. There were nine council members, five on one side, four on the other, all regarding each other like they were better than all the others. I wondered if any of them even considered anyone else in this room their friend, or if they were all in this just to barter their way of life into this town.

I was equal parts frustrated by their traditional methodology and scared at the power they still held over a society that had evolved since their time. They were capable of so much simply because they had climbed up the ranks until there was nowhere else to go.

My father had been summoning me to each Council meeting for the past week and I found myself bored to tears each time. I contributed very little to their conversations, and I already knew that I was doomed to disappoint all of them again today.

Most of the items of business were small, inconsequential things like adding more roads, where to expand for more homes as more people come to our town. With each one we offered our vote, when there really wasn’t much to vote on. I found my fingers itching to be playing with something other than the fringe on the hem of my sleeve.

I couldn’t deny that my father - despicable as he is - was a committed leader. His attention was fully invested in each person’s comments, and he weighed all of the options equally.

My father was an intelligent man, and a deep thinker and I think that’s why it hurt me so much every time that he didn’t seem to have the heart to make sense of me. I wasn’t worth his time mulling over and understanding - to him I was simply broken and in need of his repair.

Time moved slowly, but I did my best to keep my mind on the present conversation. I was surprised that my father didn’t ask more of me since he insisted that I be there, but I was also grateful to not be put at the center of attention in front of these old men.

After a long laundry list of things, my father cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, “Council Orin, I seem to recall you mentioned to me an issue you were having in the Northern district?”

I watched closely as the man named Orin nodded sagely towards the Duke. “Ah yes, thank you, Your Grace. Gentlemen, I’d like to discuss the matter of a newcomer that’s been in town. A well respected innkeeper came to me with some concern that an orc has been staying in his inn for the past nine days now. He doesn’t appear to be here for any particular reason besides to loiter in our streets. We’ve been good enough to attract very little of the other folk in Faerun, and I wonder if there is something to be done with this newcomer?”

I gripped the armchair of my seat as I was forced to listen to these men discuss their distaste for orcs. With one mention of Drun’s race, they suddenly all felt it was their right and permission to exclaim their opinion - all of the despicable and completely wrong. They were talking about Drunrag, my Drun. They called him unclean, and one of the cursed races because they had sided centuries ago with the enemy. A long dead enemy that Drun had nothing to do with. They were formulating plans to get him out of town. I had to say something, but I couldn’t, not when I looked over and saw the way my father was watching me with such a smug look.

He shifted in his seat again and cleared his throat, the room fell into expectant silence.

My Father spoke, “Altan, son, what do you say is the best course of action? Perhaps your youth can help us see a different light?”

I refused to look back at him. He was mocking me. I knew he was cornering me to fold and not say anything. I knew if I said what I felt, it would fall on deaf and racist ears. Instead I sat straight and held my fingers tight like claws on the armchair. “Perhaps it would be wise to avoid making a rash decision until we learn why he’s here.”

“The innkeeper says the orc won’t speak when he talks to him. Says he’s practically mute.” Councilman Orin responded.

Another Councilman jumped in, “I thought I saw him working with that Dragonborn Doxxah in the Northern District, perhaps they’re plotting something.”

I couldn’t believe them. Doxxah had been here for years and had proven themselves again and again to be an honest, hardworking contributor to the town. I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by another round of the men exclaiming their dislike of Dragonborns, of Orc of all the races they felt uncomfortable around.

“It’s not as if we don’t want them in our town.” One of them said, “But it must be understood that our town was built centuries ago as a fortress to protect our ancestors from the dangers that these very same races brought outside our day every day. Do we ignore our past and history just to embrace these newcomers into our town?”

“I don’t see any reason why we should be the same as our ancestors from hundreds of years ago.” I replied. They all looked at me with furrowed brows. “Perhaps Berdusk is more than about keeping tradition, but about making traditions that provide comfort and safety for all folks who pass through. Neither Doxxah or this orc you speak of has caused any true offense that warrants this amount of distrust towards them. Perhaps change is not so bad for a town and we simply need more time.”

My father tapped his finger on his armrest, “So you would erase our history from us?”

I shook my head, “That’s not what I'm suggesting at all. I see it as an expansion of what we could offer.”

“But we can’t please everyone, young lord.” One man said, “We are not as impressive of a town as those larger, more advanced cities like Waterdeep, or Baldur’s Gate. We cannot easily accommodate them and our people would not be comfortable to change for them. Wouldn’t it be safer for them to not be here?”

“So you’re saying we force this gentleman to vacate our town?”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a gentlemen, young lord. He’s an orc, he’s from the wild plains in the South. They’re undignified and so uncouth there.”

My voice was shaking as I spoke. “I don’t see any sound reason to kick him out.”

“It’s for the safety of the town. You must remember that the North District is where families live. An orc living there is…well…it’s preposterous and it cannot stand.”

Tradition. Family. Protecting what’s always been. These were the grumblings that this town rested everything on. It was a narrative that had pervaded and infected the way the Council viewed anything. They had used the same disgusting rant on my mother when she had tried to change things here to help her children and other people's children. Remembering her then made my blood turn hot and I couldn’t listen to any of that bullshit anymore. I sprung to my feet, my chair making a loud clatter as it fell back. The room fell silent.

“You are the ones who are preposterous. Look at you! You all live in denial that times have changed since you were young. Times have changed since our ancestors. Time changes people, it changes us. We have a chance to be more than just Berdusk, a town where all Men live and thrive. Why must it just be humans? Because you’re more comfortable looking at someone who looks and thinks exactly like you! It's easier, isn't it? It’s too uncomfortable to have to consider that other races could be better at your job than you! It's too uncomfortable to have to recognize that maybe your traditions are worse than outright violence. You don’t like that the world is changing to make you less important and you would drive out every last race that isn’t human if you had the chance, wouldn’t you? Including me.”

The silence in the room was deafening and none of the Councilmen would meet my eyes as I let them have a taste of what I thought of each of them.

I turned to look at my father, who was looking at me with a smug look.

“I’m dismissing myself from this meeting.” I said, before stepping down and racing out of the room.

I caught the eye of Commander Gideon who was standing outside the door into the room. He didn’t move, but I caught something in his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before. I didn’t bother dwelling on it as I continued my march out of the room, out of the building and down the steps towards the town below me.

The guards weren’t prepared as I barreled passed them and down the street. They tried to follow me, but I shook them off quickly as I wound through the crowds and into another crowded street. My head was pounding, my heart was racing and I only had one place I wanted to be.

I burst into Doxxah’s bakery, out of breath and heaving. “Where is he?” I asked.

Doxxah broke into a grin and pointed behind them. “In the back, young lord.”

I didn’t wait for permission to walk around the counter. I wove my way through the various obstacles until I found my way into the back where the room was so much more warm with all of the ovens burning. There was Drun, covered in flour and sweat. He hadn’t seen me and was bent over a tray of rolls, sprinkling a dusting of cinnamon over the top of them. He was biting his bottom lip and was deep in concentration.

All of the tension inside of me loosened at being able to see him. He was adorable in that moment, and I would have loved to take in the image of him like this, but I needed him. I cleared my throat and waited for him to look at me.

His eyes, his beautiful stormy grey eyes found mine and he raised to his full height.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. He looked behind me with a worried expression. He seemed afraid to approach me.

“I just needed to see you.” I said. “I’m…” I felt hot tears as I looked at him. Why couldn’t they see him the way I saw him? He was gentle, he was beautiful, he carried himself so carefully and thoughtfully. How could someone look at him - sprinkling cinnamon on a roll with such care for gods’ sake- and tell me he was of a lesser race? There was nothing about Drunrag that I didn't find lovely and safe and good. I closed the distance and barreled into him, wrapping my arms around him with my head buried in his chest. “Please, let’s go.”

“Where?” He asked.

“Anywhere,” I said, my voice was muffled in his chest and I felt like some pathetic child.

I felt Drun’s hands settle around me. Holding me around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. His body was so warm.

“Will we be safe?” he asked.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to answer.

“Altan.” he said and he pulled me back so he could look at me, he took my hand and placed it on his chest. Oh all of the nine hells consume me, my name on his lips was sin. Gods I needed him. “Do you feel it?” he asked, using the same words I had said to him.

And I felt it, the quick beating of his heart. It was strong and steady and purposeful. I pressed my hands there, feeling comfort in its power.

“Do you understand?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Do you trust us?” He asked.

“I trust us.” I said. “But my father will never allow me to be with you. We’ll never be safe.” I looked up at him, “The city intends to kick you out, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they plan to do worse. If I can’t go with you, then promise me you’ll go and be safe.”

He shook his head, “Not without you.”

“Then let’s go.” I said. “I’ll leave it all behind, right now.”

I heard Doxxah’s throat clear behind me and I whirled around to see Commander Gideon standing next to them.

“Your grace.” He said, his voice was gentle. “Your father asked that I get you…he wanted me to inform you that you should say your goodbyes now.”

It was a threat. Say goodbye to your lover and come back repentant or face the punishment. My body tensed and I resisted moving.

“It’s alright, Altan.” Drun said softly, his hand was on my arm, and he gently coaxed me to return my attention to him.

I nodded, my face wet with tears. “Drun…I love you.”

He nodded, his hand tightened around me. “And I you.” He leaned forward and his forehead was pressed to mine. “I’m yours, djenifad. Don’t give up on me.”

He pushed me gently towards the door and I resisted every time. I saw the pain reflected in his eyes as I was being pulled away again from him. “Drun, Drunrag. I love you. I love you...” I could only say it again and again as Commander Gideon took my arm and gently began to pull me away. Drun was standing there, watching me and I saw a faint glint of wet light in his eyes.

Commander Gideon was gentle as he pulled me discreetly into the carriage that was waiting outside the bakery’s steps. Of course there were still many eyes on us as I pulled myself in.

“Commander,” I managed to say, struggling to stay composed. “What does my father intend to do to him?”

He remained calm, and he was gentle in his answer, “The Duke did not make any mention of the young orc, only to return you home.”

Somehow, that left me more scared, but I could do nothing else but nod and utter my gratitude to him. He was being surprisingly gentle and kind about all of this.

Doxxah stood at the door, but not before approaching me and placing in my hands a small box. “He made this one, he added so much cinnamon I couldn’t sell them. I think they’re for you.”

I laughed before immediately coughing and choking on my tears. My Drun, he remembered I loved cinnamon. I couldn’t speak. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. Doxxah closed the door and backed away, waving gently at me. They didn’t say anything, but I saw an ally in them. They would take care of Drun while I couldn’t be by his side.

The ride was silent, uncomfortable and the Commander was once again patient and gentle as he told me that I was to be escorted to the Duke’s chambers to meet with him. In all of this, I could sense a reluctance in the Commander’s actions. I’m sure he felt a bit like a babysitter and could easily resent me for making his job such a headache, but he continued to remain neutral and impassive.

My father’s chambers was a room I only saw when I was in trouble and I only ever associated it with bad memories. I never remembered seeing it until I started to disobey my father’s rules and resist his instructions for me, and then I would be taken there to be given a stern talking to. When stern talkings to didn’t work for him, it turned into ridicule, chastisement and sometimes physical punishment. I hated that room.

The room was all dark wood panels, red velvet curtains that kept the room dark and moody. He had little furniture in there, just a round room that was dark and shadowy. When the Commander let me walk in, he waited outside and I stepped in alone.

“You made quite the impression in the Council meeting today.” The Duke said. He was sitting at a chair, a scroll in his hand that he was reading.

My jaw was tight as I took in the sight. “You can do anything you want to me, but you can’t hurt him, do you understand?”

“By our laws, we have no grounds to do anything to him yet.” My father said coolly, not looking up from his readings. “But if I hear or see that he has touched you in any way…I can promise you that I will remove him from your life in one fell swoop and ruin any chance of you seeing him again. I have him right where I want him to keep an eye on him. And you, my son, will be kept under a more severe supervision. So I know where you will be at all times. Be careful of your actions.”

“Why is it so important to you to control me?” I asked, fighting back the emotion in my voice. I had to stay in control. “There is no love lost between us. Why must we suffer ourselves through this? I’ll never be the person you want me to be. Just let me go, let me be happy with him. I’ll never speak your name again. I’ll change my name if I must. But we don’t have to keep doing this anymore.”

“You ungrateful, insolent boy.” My father seethed, “You have been given everything since the day you were born and I have been the one to give it to you. I could have taken you from your mother as soon as I saw how she was turning your mind against me. But I let her keep you. You were always hers and I was gracious enough to let it be that way. But she is gone and you are mine now, and I will see you thanking me for the mercy I continue to show you.”

“I’m not grateful.” I spat, “How can I be grateful when you intentionally keep me from being who I am? Just…please…let us go.”

He sighed, feigning exhaustion. “I know the moment I set either of you free, you’ll be crawling right back to each other. I see it in both your eyes, you're sick for each other.”

“I’m not sick, I’ve never been sick. This is my choice.” I pleaded back, “Your Grace…Father. I love him, he means more to me than my own life.”

His eyes became wild at those words, “You would bring yourself this low to get the attention you so crave? If you desire to be nothing more than a whore, then I will find you someone better than this. You depraved child.” He rose to his feet. “I do not see how you became so wrong as you grew, but this would disappoint even your mother to see you as wanton as you are for that beast. You will not see him again, and if either of you seek each other out, it will cost him his freedom.”

I flinched, the words bit into me and I felt tears form once again on the surface of my eyelids, but I did not blink, nor back down, “So what will you have of me, now that I am your depraved, sick, deranged prisoner?” I asked “Should I worship you? Kiss your feet for your bounteous generosity for saving me from my own choices? Or would you prefer your prisoners to stay silent, meek and submissive?”

“You will be grateful and you will follow my instructions with obedience. Do you understand?” His eyes were cold and heartless as he regarded me. “Your life will be easier once you start to see what I’m doing for you and you’ll thank me someday.”

I could not bring myself to beg anymore. I saw the finality of his words in his eyes. He intended to break me, and I was afraid there was no hope to be free this time.

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oubliette-odette · 9 months

Text

The Reluctance of Love, Pt. 2

I've been having a little too much fun writing this story. I will admit, not a lot happens in this chapter - but I promise the next chapter will be good. Just a reminder that this a (sort of) slow burn.

Orc Male x Half-Elf Male, Fated Mates, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 Word Count: 2750 (average 20 min read) Content Warnings: mention of mating, nothing happens....yet ;) All orcish is from orcishdictionary.com, created by Matt Vancil. Not beta-read. Criticism is welcome, but be sure to distinguish criticism from hate.

I hated myself for leaving Altan there. But I knew that I would hate myself more if I did anything to him.

I remember when I was a child I had always been afraid of mating. It felt like without any choice from either person - you were expected to be intimate with them. I never liked that my body would do something to me that I couldn't control. My broodmothers always told me it was the gift of Gruumsh that assured the vitality and strength of the orc races. It was something that would be mutually felt between partners. I still didn't like it, and I still was afraid of my own body for much of my childhood.

I left home for many reasons: the fact that I was a constant reminder of my father's and broodmothers' shame. The fact that there was no one left my age unmated. But also because I knew that if I left, I would reduce the chance of finding a mate. Lordhovid only would happen with a female orc. The world beyond would reduce my chances of every having to experience it, should it ever happen to me.

I sometimes wondered if I never experienced the urge to mate because I simply didn't want it. But Gruumsh be damned, I found myself in a greater predicament than even experiencing lordhovid. My greatest fear turned out to be worse than I could have imagined.

My relationship with my home and my culture was complicated. I desired to be seen as valuable and needed by my family, but I only brought shame as long as I was unable to give them children. I left for not only my own sake, but for the sake of my family. But I still carried with me a pride of my people and a want to do what was right and I carried a hope that maybe someday I could earn their love back.

My life-partner, my raebukam, the one my body began to burn for was someone I couldn't possibly be with. If I were to return with Altan to my homeland - radiant Altan who remained golden in my memories - I would be dishonored. To bring a partner who could neither bear children or fight for the tribe would spell my damnation.

Altan...I wished I had never learned his name. Altan. Altan. His name was seared into me, branded in my memories. I wished I could have met him under different circumstances. I wished I could love him and not hurt him. I wished I could have known that his feelings for me would be returned without lordhovid influencing him.

I stayed in my tiny room above the forge for the next two days. Feverish and overheated, I struggled through the days. I hadn't been able to buy enough food and I knew eventually I'd have to leave. But I insisted I couldn't leave. I would live with this if I must. I wouldn't give in to this lust. It wasn't mine. I could control it.

On the the third day, however, I heard a pounding at my door.

I was curled on the mattress on the floor that served as my bed - I could never find a bed big enough for my size - and caught in a feverish daze, trying to not think about Altan.

"Drunrag?!" Someone shouted from the other side of the door.

My heart leapt up to my throat. I knew that voice. It was like music.

Altan.

I shrank into the corner of my room, panic formed in the pit of my stomach. "No," I rasped. "You can't be here." The last two days had been near hell - I didn't know if I could be strong enough to stop myself now.

"Drunrag...please open the door." His own voice sounded exhausted. Guilt and shame flooded through me. He had been experiencing his own symptoms of lordhovid, and I had left him to suffer them alone. I selfishly had only considered myself.

Damn you, Drunrag.

"I'm not above considering breaking this door down." He said. "It's taken me these last two days to find you, and it's been absolute hell. I'm not leaving until we have a chance to talk."

"You should if you wish to be safe." I yelled back. My voice cracked from disuse and panic. "I don't want this."

"Look, I'm still not entirely sure of all that's happening to us. But I trust you not to hurt me. Can we please just talk and see what solution we can come to?"

I struggled to my feet, and stumbled to the door. I hesitated, my hand at the lock. "I'm...are you certain?"

"Just. Open the damn door, please."

I hadn't considered that Altan could posses such fire in him.

Admittedly, I knew nothing about him. I fled before I could know him. I only understood one thing: that my body wanted him.

I slid the lock back and cracked the door open. My eyes alighted upon seeing those wide, golden eyes. Altan. Gods, he really was glowing. I let out a breath that I must have been holding since I left him. The pulling in my chest lessened, now that it felt the closeness of my raebukam. However, it was painful to be so close and be denied what my body screamed for. I felt the heat inside me begin to stir again.

"Ummm," He looked up and down through the crack, a weary yet sardonic smile crossing his face. "Do you expect me to converse through this crack? I think not. Gods, where is your sense of hospitality?" He pushed against the door, and I - too stunned to do anything really - was like a leaf, easily knocked back by the small, slender man before me. I crashed against my wall and watched him step into the room. My mouth was agape as I watched him barge in.

In that moment, I studied him, really took a good look at him. He didn't seem tall for a humanoid, but his head looked like it only reached my pecs. He dressed a bit differently than I typically saw in the streets. More loose, airy clothes that exposed his golden brown skin. His coppery curls were long, but appeared mussed and unkempt, like he hadn't been taking care of himself for quite a few days.

I watched as he studied my home. It was a simply layout, a kitchen and a bedroom. The outhouse was outside. His lips were open just slightly as he took in everything. He turned suddenly to gaze into my bedroom. As he turned, the smell of sunny wheat fields overwhelmed my senses. I shuddered and closed my eyes, ignoring the pulsating inside me that urged me to grab him and pull him towards me. Everything about him was tantalizing.

He sighed. "I should have expected this. There's really not much here." He peered into the room where my mattress lay and he frowned, "If you expect me to sleep with you there, I absolutely refuse." He turned to look at me. "You may be an orc, but that doesn't mean I will resort to your way of making love. I expect our first time to be better than...this." He gestured to the general space, which I wondered if I should find offensive, but my mind quickly slipped beyond that thought to the fact that I heard him discuss potentially sleeping together...

There couldn't possibly be a chance...not in any of the nine hells. Gods tell me he's joking.

"What did you say?" I said. "You're not actually considering..."

He stepped towards me, his voice was sharp and direct. "It's not like we have another solution, right? I've had two days to ponder this. It seems you and I are deemed a worthy pairing according to your mating instinct. And strangely, my own body seems to be confirming those same feelings. If you and I are to function at all in our lives - we have to do as our bodies tell us. We must mate. Correct?"

I couldn't look at him. It was too embarrassing. I could feel my face burning with shame, but also with anger. How could he possible suggest this when I didn't want this.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said, his voice softened.

I looked up to see him. He was standing in my home. My tiny, cramped little space with only a kitchen and a bedroom. He looked perfectly normal in it. But I could see the dark circles under his eyes, the way his hair looked like it hadn't been washed or combed since I last saw him. His own breathing was heavy, like mine. His stance looked as if he were carrying an intense weight. A weight that we could remove....if I could just give in to lordhovid.

But I couldn't. I shook my head. "No, I'm not mating with you."

"What exactly is holding you back from this?" He asked. "I apologize if this may come across ignorant, I've only met a handful of orcs in my lifetime, all of them much older than me, but I was raised to believe that orcs found great pleasure in their mating customs. Help me to understand...is it that you find me unlikable?"

I grunted. Unlikeable? No, Altan seemed friendly enough, savvy enough and possessed a lot of spirit. It wasn't something I found in most people I encountered. He seemed honest too.

I shook my head. "No."

He took a step towards me, to which I took a panicked step back.

"Do I repulse you?"

I shook my head again and grunted. I found that he did the exact opposite, I couldn't focus because my eyes would wander to all of his various features. His large, golden eyes. His full lips that always seemed quirked into a smile. His exposed chest, bare and smooth. His ear poking through those soft-looking curls. No, I could not say I found him remotely repulsive.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asked.

That, I hesitated. Yes I was afraid. Of him. Of me. But mostly of what was keeping us together: lordhovid. I was scared what it would do to me, do to Altan and of how its influence brought me here.

He cocked his head. "You're afraid of me." He said it that time as a statement, not a question.

I shook my head, "I am afraid of what you are."

"A half-elf?" He laughed. "We're not known for being terrifying."

I couldn't laugh, not at that moment. I looked at him with a dark expression. "I'm afraid of you as my life-partner. I didn't want this, nor did you ask for this."

His laughter faded and his expression softened. "You really didn't choose to do this to me, did you? You didn't choose me?"

I shook my head. "lordhovid is meant to draw together those who will bear the strongest children for the orc tribe."

"Huh...curious." He said, his voice was light, curious more than anything. I wondered how none of this seemed to be affecting him as much as it affected me. He thought for a moment. "You mentioned that you were broken."

Krandad. Broken. I had grown accustomed to be called that by my broodmothers when I remained the last one unmated from my litter.

I shifted where i stood. To speak on the most intimate, sacred part of my culture to someone who was being so kind and patient to me. Someone I should trust. I somehow felt out of place, like a child. "I am unmated. It is shameful for an orc to be unmated. At first I thought it was something wrong with me. But I believe it because it's my choice."

He studied me. I didn't like his eyes on me for so long. I could feel the burning of his stare and it made my own heated skin surge with longing and want. "You don't want to mate at all, is that what you mean?"

I gave a small nod.

"Then why are we here now?" He asked.

I shook my head, "I don't know. But you were not given a choice. Nor was I. You are a stranger...and I have damned your fate to be with me." I bowed my head, looking away from him somehow made everything in my body feel so much worse. "You have my deepest apologies."

He didn't answer, didn't speak. I worried I had upset him somehow. I glanced up, and saw him staring back at me. His gaze was like the sun on my face, warming my body through every part.

"You are an honorable man, Drunrag." He said, gently. "I see that your sense of honor and your moral standing are greater than even most men. I understand that...this," He gestured between myself and him "Isn't something you want." He closed his eyes for a moment, then laughed. "You're a more complicated person than I anticipated." His eyes were like small lines when he laughed. I liked his laugh.

"I'm sorry." I said, my voice low. I didn't mean to be complicated.

"Let me make a proposition for you, then, Drunrag." He stood tall, as tall as he could against me, it was amusing to see him puff his chest and stretch his shoulders back.

"I'm listening." I said.

"You and I will not mate." He said, he smile awkwardly. "We'll see if we can manage our lives with this symptom. I'll treat it like a cold. Just a really hot, heavy, feverish cold. Who knows, maybe it eventually goes away. Or, you could see if there's some kind of potion? Spell? A Sorcerer, perhaps, that could remove it for you. And if we find that it's too much. Well, I know where you live. Let's say we reconvene in a month and see if we need to revisit option number one."

He smiled warmly at me, and it made my insides twist. Why was he being so understanding of my situation?

"You're being too kind." I said.

He shrugged, "What else can I do? I won't force myself on you, I would hate myself for that, handsome as you are."

Handsome? He must have been trying to be polite. Nothing more. Except that I didn't know how to answer him, and I felt the silence between us build uncomfortably.

"Well," He said with a forced smile. "I suppose there's nothing more to do, right?"

I hesitated before I nodded to him. "Right?"

He looked around the space once more, and then back up to me. "I would like to think maybe we could be friends...once all of this is over?"

His smile was more genuine as he cast his attention my way. He really did have a glow to him, an aura of warmth that made him easy to like. I wondered then if maybe it would be so bad sleep with him...just once. What would it feel like to hold him? I looked down a bit and caught the slight curve of his waist. I imagined my arms...

I clenched my eyes shut, closing the thought before my body reached a new temperature.

"Thank you, Altan, for your understanding." I said, gaining my composure. "In a month's time."

His smile faltered for just a moment, a brief look of wanting and disappointment, before he nodded his head and made his way to the door. "In a month's time."

The door shut behind him and I felt his presence on the other side of it. I pondered our last interaction together. Why did he seem so disappointed?

It was frustrating to feel that tug and pull inside me that tried to pull me back to him. I shoved the urge away and locked the door after I felt some distance between us. Would I always know approximately where he was? Would I ever sense his emotions or if he was in danger?

I ran my hands through my hair, several times, to try to distract myself from the heat and pressure inside me. I was stronger than my bodily urges. I was stronger than the pull that kept me near Altan. I was stronger than all of that. I repeated the words as I looked around my now empty apartment.

Was this really to be my life from now on?

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