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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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imtryingandtired · 1 year

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Thanksgiving at the Thrombeys

Harlan raising a glass: happy thanksgiving everyone-

Richard: nothing happy about it when the Dems have stolen yet another election-

Ransom: did you even go to vote this year? Or are you still on the DL after the FBI came to the house asking where you were January 6th-

Walt butting in: Ransom your parents didn’t raise you right-

Ransom: and your kid can’t wait to dump you in a nursing home to make you someone else’s problem!

Joni cutting in: oh it’s been so long since we’ve last seen each other-

Wanetta: which one of you is lesbian…?

Ransom: uh no one here I don’t think..?

Wanetta, sad: oh..

Jacob texting on his phone: Megs bisexual for attention.

Meg: Jacobs been selling adderall to his classmates at school

Donna: w h a t-

Ransom: not all that surprised-

Donna worriedly looking over at Linda: hey didn’t you take pain killers like 10 minutes ago?

Linda, pouring herself a full glass: it’s not w o r k i n g-

#knives out incorrect quotes #knives out #donna thrombey #richard drysdale #ransom drysdale #walt thrombey #joni thrombey #great nana wanetta #meg thrombey #jacob thrombey #linda drysdale #harlan thrombey

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blackmissfrizzle · 2 years

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Can I

Characters: Ransom Drysdale x black!reader

Summary: During another fun family dinner, Ransom’s new “job” is brought up.

Warnings: Smut, y’all know me by now.

A/N: Inspired by this TikTok

Here’s my masterlist if you want more!

Gif credit: @jamesbuchenan

Bickering surrounded you nonstop. That’s what happens when you have dinner with the Thrombeys. Meg better be happy, you were so bored that you decided to join this shit show. Just when you thought the arguing died down, one person would bring up a controversial topic and all it took was one differing opinion and it turn into a heated debate.

“Sorry, dear.” Harlan tapped your hand. “They just don’t know when to quit.”

You smiled at Harlan. He was the upside of this dinner. The older gentleman reminded you of your own grandfather you missed so much. He made these get togethers much more bearable. “It’s okay. This is fueling my social battery, so I won’t have to go out for a while.”

“Can I get one of those, darling?” Dazzling blue eyes winked at you.

There was one other perk you forgot to mention about Thrombey dinners. Ransom Drysdale. He made your heart and much more intimate parts flutter. Although, you would never do anything about that. You two were polar opposites. Him: brash, spoiled, spontaneous, lazy, uncouth, and extremely attractive. You: reserved, hardworking, people pleaser, and moderately attractive.

Meg swatted her cousin away. “Leave her alone! She does not need to be around your freakiness!”

Ransom leaned back and observed your body. Under that soft and innocent exterior, he knew there was a bad girl underneath. One day when you over, he peered over your shoulder and caught what you were reading on your kindle: a reverse harem. Ever since then his interest in you went up a hundred times more. Every time he saw you, he wondered what smutty book you were reading. He wondered if you touched yourself as you read them. He wondered if you fantasized about the scenes, and he wondered if you fantasized about reenacting them with him.

Leaning forward to invade Meg’s space, Ransom whispered. “Are you cockblocking because you’re trying to be a good friend or are you cockblocking because you’re a big lesbian SJW?”

Five minutes. That’s how long it lasted for the Thrombeys to get into another uproar. Joni and Meg were yelling at Ransom while he laughed, not caring about one word they were saying.

Tired of her cousin thinking he got the last laugh, Meg decided to pull out her trump card. “Yeah, like I would care what someone with an OnlyFans thinks of me.”

Everyone but Harlan, Ransom and his parents gasped. Ransom had an OnlyFans? Why? The dude had loads of money. Or his grandpa had loads of money and he had access to that.

Your eyes ping-ponged between Ransom and the rest of his family. Of course, Walt and his Great Value Trump family were appalled, but other than that no one else seemed horrified. Disappointed? Yes Horrified? No.

Ransom slowly smiled at his baby cousin like he was some sort of Bond villain. “First, how uncharacteristically conservative of you. Sex workers deserve the same respect as anyone else because sex work is work.” He quoted Meg from one of her many debates. “Secondly, you thought you did something, huh?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Parentals and Harlan already know. The rest of you are insignificant, except,” he turned his head to you and kissed your hand. “For you.”

There would’ve been more attention paid to you if the rest of the family wouldn’t keep dragging him into conversation.

“Stop touching her! Who knows what STIs you have?” Meg tried her best to pull your heavy ass chair closer to her.

Doing his best Donna impression, Ransom gasped and clutched his invisible pearls. “Slut shaming is unacceptable. Not very SJW of you, so problematic.” He tsked.

Embarrassment gripped Linda enough. “No more talk about Ransom’s “job” at the dinner table.” This family was going to drive her to an early grave, she thought as she rubbed her forehead. “Ransom, I’ll talk to you about this later.”

“No, let’s talk about it, since my dear baby cousin attempted to air my so called dirty laundry.” Ransom leaned back and did the most glorious manspread.

“Fine, we’re all family here.”

“Mostly.” Jacob mumbled while he never looked away from his phone screen. Little jerk was probably retweeting Andrew Tate at the moment.

Of course, Meg couldn’t let the boy get away with the jab. Since, she was close to you and Marta, she decided to defend both of you. “When they visit grandpa more than you do, they are family.”

Jacob countered stating that Marta was just paid, and you were lonely and pathetic. Bitch wouldn’t be this vicious if you two weren’t the only POC at the table.

Before Meg could get a word in, Ransom tore Jacob to pieces. You swore you saw a little shimmer of a tear roll down the boy’s face. Ransom was able to put a chink in the dipshit’s armor.

Naturally, his parents didn’t appreciate the disrespect, not that Ransom cared about that. “Fuck you,” he pointed at Walt. “Fuck you,” he pointed at Donna. “And a big fuck you, you forever Nazi virgin.” Ransom pointed at Jacob.

The little bit of giggle he heard from you made him proud. He was happy he could elicit such a sound from you.

“Jesus, Ransom, can you stop for just one minute?” Linda wished her son grew up some.

Normally, he would give a smartass reply, but he really wanted to hear what his mother had to say. Ransom raised his hands in surrender and nodded his head as to say, ‘Go on.’

“Ransom,” she sighed, but her voice got louder and angrier with each word she said. “Apparently my girlfriend told me that you are taking your little fucked up OnlyFans photos in my bathroom. Is that true?”

From the tilt of his head and the little smirk, you knew it was true. Damn, maybe you should check them out. No! He’s Meg’s annoying older cousin. Your little debate was being interrupted by the back and forth between the mother and son.

“Shouldn’t it be a little more concerning that your friends paying to see your son’s cock?” He cocked an eyebrow at his mom.

“Ransom!”

You cover your mouth to hide your giggles and commentary. “He does have a point.”

Donna whipped her pointy face toward you. “Of course, you would watch something like that.”

Ransom tsked and wagged his finger. “You do not want to go there, Donna.”

“What are you talking about, Ransom?”

“Boredhousewife69?” He’s been waiting to release this nugget of information forever. “One of my top subscribers. Kinda creepy my aunt is watching me, but hey we’re family by marriage.” He winked and then left the table, pulling you with him and leaving the family in a disarray.

The two of you didn’t get very far. He just led you down the hall to the family room, that’s where Harlan stashes all the good liquor. “Thank you.” You whispered when he handed you a drink.

“It’s the polite thing to do. No matter how many times you’ve been here, you’re still a guest.” He shrugged and sat on the couch opposite of you. Man, he wishes he could draw. There was something about your beauty that needed to be advertised everywhere.

You rarely spoke to Ransom. It was even rarer for you two to be the only ones in a room. So, your voice was much more meek and softer. “Not for that. Sticking up for Marta and…me.”

Good deeds do get rewarded. Maybe he should do them more often. He was going to move closer to you, but his mom with his dad and Harlan following behind her.

Linda was going on about how he was embarrassing the family and needed to get a real job.

“Technically, it’s a real job.” You were curled up in the corner, too comfortable to move from this family moment.

“Huh? YN, how in the world is OnlyFans is a real job?” Linda valued your opinion. You had a good head on your shoulders unlike the people of your generation. Unlike her son.

Damn it, why did that slip out of your mouth? That statement was supposed to be an inner thought. “So, um, something like that takes a lot of marketing and advertising. And then to stand out, is another thing. There’s a bunch of dudes selling the same thing and the one thing I know about Ransom is, he ain’t gonna do anything unless he’s at the top. I’m sure he’s making bank. Then there’s lighting and editing. I spend like thirty minutes trying to take the perfect selfie and caption.”

“I’m gonna marry you one day.” Ransom smiled as you shied away.

Abort mission. Hugh Ransom Drysdale talking about marriage was a sign to get the hell out of there. “You all have a good night!” You hurried out the room and that damn house. It was time for a much needed break from the Thrombey family.

Days after the dinner you found yourself in deep contemplation. You had an OnlyFans account to subscribe to this guy Alex, but he was moving to the back of your mind as Ransom moved to the front. It didn’t help that Ransom was posting thirst traps on Instagram. It was like he was specifically taunting you. Like him shirtless in the hot spring. When did he get all of those tattoos?

Day six is when you broke. Ransom posted some pictures of him in the gym and the hormone monster was calling.

Good thing your username wasn’t anything obvious. If Ransom could figure out Donna, he could figure out yours. Typing in his name you found his profile. He had tiers of subscriptions. You choose the top one because you were being a “supportive” friend. It had nothing to do with early access or personalized videos.

One click and you knew your small laptop screen wouldn’t be enough. Quickly you ran to your living room and connected your HDMI cord to the laptop.

Right there on your 90 inch screen was Ransom’s dick. No wonder he was so arrogant. If you had a dick that big, you would be too.

Grabbing your vibrator, you settled on your couch with your legs spread wide open. From the first couple of words, you could tell this would be a glorious time.

Hours later, you found yourself in the same spot again. Today must have been one of those masturbate all day days. Or maybe it was because of Ransom. For your sanity, you would claim the former.

Ransom’s vivid words had you bent on all fours, with a plug in your ass, one weak hand around your throat as the other played with your clit. He even got you to respond to the video like he was in the room with you. If there was someone outside your door, they would think it was two people on the other side instead of one by the way you were moaning.

“Fuck baby! I’m gonna c-,” three knocks interrupted your impending orgasm. What inconsiderate idiot needed you now?

Pausing the video, you pulled down your nightgown and cracked the door open. “Ransom?! What do you need?!”

“Ouch neighbor!” He smiled as he covered his heart. He tried to make his sniffing inconspicuous as possible, which wasn’t hard. Your sweetness carried over strongly. He could even see some of your inner thigh glistening. Yeah, he heard everything. Well, at least two minutes of everything. With the way you were responding he knew you were watching one of his videos. You had to be the newest subscriber leaving him tips on every video.

“I need cheese neighbor.”

Really?! Your orgasm got stopped for some freaking cheese. “The store is down the street!”

“Yeah, but you’re right downstairs and I’m freaking starving.”

“Fine!” You threw your hands up. “Provolone, right?”

He nodded his head. “Yes ma’am.”

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Like he was really gonna listen. Ransom silently cracked the door open some more and slid through. He silently laughed as your muttering. You weren’t discrete as you thought. He knew he was interrupting some very special self-care.

What entitled that self-care was a wonderful surprise. Ransom smiled at himself on the screen. He smiled even bigger at the wet spot on the couch. Guess he found his newest fan.

“Here.” The frantic rush you were caused you to be out of breath. You pushed the cheese into the air but Ransom wouldn’t grab it. Finally, you noticed he wasn’t where you left him. Dread filled you because he wasn’t in the kitchen with you earlier. “Ransom?!” You ran to the living room and found him looking at the tv screen. You ran in front of the tv with your arms stretched out like that would really stop him from seeing what he already saw. “Ransom!”

He laughed at your feeble attempt. “Too late sweetheart. This is much better than finding out Donna was a fan.”

Could God just take you right now? You covered your face up to hide from the embarrassment. “Okay get your jokes in and go home.”

Ransom removed your hands. “Baby,” he cupped your chin and bent down at eye level. “If you wanted this all you had to do was ask.” He kissed your pouty lips. Each peck you became more open.

He cupped your ass. “Tell me.” He sucked on your bottom lip.

“Tell you what?”

“Every. Single. Dirty. Thing. You. Want. Me. To. Do. To. You.” Each word was punctuated by a kiss down the column of your neck down to the he valley of your breasts.

No, you couldn’t do this. Why would someone as experienced as Ransom want someone like you? Novelty? The thrill of the chase? Not happening. “Nothing.” You whispered, too afraid to speak louder because a moan would come out.

Ransom smiled against your chest. “Didn’t sound like nothing.” His fingers slipped up your thighs, treating your wetness like a slip n slide. “Definitely didn’t feel like nothing.”

“I don’t do this kind of thing. I’m a, I’m a goo-,” His hands made your brain go haywire, you couldn’t even speak properly.

“A good girl?” He held your chin and softened his voice like yours, slightly mocking you. “Good girls don’t lie. Tell the truth. What do you want me to do to you?”

Turning away, you whispered the truth. “I want- I want you to fuck me.”

“Louder, princess.” He already was going to his knees and bunching up your dress. His breath teased your core.

Taking a glance over your shoulder, you saw the desire in Ransom’s eyes. It was like his videos, but this was stronger, more authentic and sincere. “I want you to fuck me.”

You caught Ransom’s hungry smirk before he went in for his meal. Your knees buckled and luckily for you the couch was right there. The rose was nothing compared to Ransom’s tongue. Then he seemed to find the remote while he was preoccupied with your clit. Not only did you have Ransom eating you out from behind, you had him in front of you, jacking off, detailing every single thing he wanted to do to you.

His tongue was wicked in more than one way. It could cut you down with words or by one simple flick in the right direction.

“Ransom!” That damn tongue of his just made you cum stronger than you did all day. “Fuck me, please fuck me. Please, please, please.” Your voice reached this whiny tone, that it’s never done before. You couldn’t even remember the last time you begged like this. It for sure wasn’t over dick.

“You want my cock, princess?” How could he be so intimidating and domineering while he was on HIS knees with your cum covering his face. The power this man holds is inexplicable.

Biting your lip, you nodded your head. The response must have sufficed because Ransom was shedding his clothes.

Social media did his body no justice. Instagram couldn’t prepare you for how the thin gold chain sat upon his tanned collar bone from his recent trip to Miami. OnlyFans couldn’t prepare you for his thick head leaking precum. Were you worthy to be in the presence of a body so godly?

“Hey,” Ransom gave you a soft kiss and smile. “I’m the lucky one.”

You scoffed. “Okay sex god.”

“Fine, I’ll prove it to you.” He knew with you, the words needed to be backed by the action.

Ransom proved to be softer, gentler than expected. He truly worshipped your body and all on a couch. You wonder what he could do on a bed. Nope. Don’t get on that line of thinking. This was a one time thing. Ransom was a conqueror, and you are the now the conquered. No more chase. No more need to come back.

You fought your inner thoughts and enjoyed the moment. Your hands raked his back. The only con fucking him for real was that you couldn’t watch his back muscles. That had to be the favorite part of his videos. Watching his shoulder blades contract, move smoothly as he fucked a woman, wishing you were that woman. Now you are that woman.

“My pretty princess.” Ransom kissed you. He couldn’t stop kissing you, he wouldn’t be able to stop fucking you. There was the physical warmth of being inside of you, but there was another warmth being with you. It was basking in your aura. Whenever he was with you, he felt good and worthy.

His sweet words, his words of affirmations made you cum repeatedly. They rivaled his rough touches and hard stokes. Everything was so intense with him. It should be no surprise. Ransom was an intense person. Why should he be anything other than that?

He tilted your chin up. “Tell me I’m lucky.” He knew it, but he wanted to hear it from your mouth.

“Huh?” Weren’t you the lucky one? You were fucking the pornstar, not the other way around.

“Tell me I’m lucky.” He nuzzled his face close to yours.

“You’re lucky.” Your moans reverberated in his ears.

He was near and he knew you were as well by the way you were thrashing underneath him. Ransom just needed to hear one more thing from you. “Tell me how fucking lucky I am to be fucking this pussy.”

Your nails made artwork on his back as you repeated his words. “You’re so fucking lucky to be fucking this pussy.”

Those powerful words and his strokes sent you two over the edge.

“Oh shit, Ransom.” You laughed and played with his hair. “That was fun.”

Ransom kissed you and regretfully pulled away from you. He walked to get a rag and you got to see that you truly did use his back as a scratching post. You even drew blood. “Sorry.” You whispered to him.

“Don’t mention it.” He kissed your inner thigh he just wiped. “Also, we’ll get to do this again after dinner.” He began redressing himself.

“Dinner?” You thought this was a fuck and dash. From your knowledge, Ransom didn’t do dates.

Ransom laughed at your face of confusion. “Yeah, the meal you eat in the evening. Maybe you forgotten because my family turns dinner into speculates. It should be a good first date though. A regular dinner not one with my family.” He smiled.

“First date?!” You sat up.

“Yes,” he kissed you. “I’ll be back in three hours. Can you be ready by then?”

You touched your lips and simply nodded your head yes.

Ransom smiled at your cuteness once more. “I’ll give you the aftercare you deserve later tonight. We can do that Ghostface scene that you were so generous to me tip me on.”

“Ransom!” You threw a pillow at him that never reached its target since he was on the other side of the door.

All you could hear was his laughter, all the while you couldn’t stop smiling. This felt like the start of a beautiful new journey.

#ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x black!reader #pornstar!ransom #pornstar!ransom x reader #frizzlefic #frizzlesfic

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niffala · 12 days

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I Quit (Pt. 2)

Warnings: The Thrombeys being themselves

A/N: Reader insert version found here. The Thrombeys’ opinions are NOT my own. 18+ only due to smut and dubcon situations. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Chapter 1 Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 2

The first two weeks of Elizabeth's employment went smoothly. Harlan did indeed have a taste for sweets. The rest of his palate she worked at learning, but he seemed happy with her efforts. When he didn't care for a dish, he would let her know and she gladly made him something else. Funny enough, the man would ask for tomato and mayo sandwiches, with just a touch of salt and pepper. Such simple requests from such an interesting man.

It was finally the day she was dreading, her first Sunday family dinner with the Thrombey clan. Fran had gossiped about the family with her while she began preparations. She explained who everyone was, their quirks, and entitlements. She had an asshole rating system that Elizabeth found amusing.

Fran found most of the family intolerable, except Harlan of course. “The top asshole, a number 10, has to be Harlan's grandson, Ransom. But don't call him that, ever. He makes the help call him by his first name, Hugh. He's handsome, for sure, but don't let his face fool you. He is a massive jerk and will charm you, use you up and spit you out like that.” She snapped her fingers and huffed.

“Luckily, he doesn't come to many of these dinners. Not that the rest of them are any easier to deal with. Seriously, they should have their own reality show so the world can see them snarl at each other like a pack of rabid hyenas. I suggest you steer clear of them when you can. These nights can get ROUGH.”

“Duly noted.”

Fran smiled before leaving to set the table. “Good luck tonight. And if you need a little mood stabilizer at the end of the insanity, just let me know. I got you girl.”

---------------

Elizabeth's anxiety increased with every new voice that echoed through the large home. She couldn't hear much of the conversations, but was confident Fran would fill her in if she missed anything juicy. So she continued cooking in peace.

Speak of the devil, the brunette rushed into the kitchen, “Top asshole and Harlan’s mother are m.i.a., but the rest are seated. Tell me the app is ready?” Fran already looked so done with the night.

”Right over there. Description card included.”

“Thank youuuu.” She took the appetizers to deliver to the table.

The family was just as she left them. Sitting proper with fake smiles plastered on their faces, while practically seething at one another. Fran served the table with an equally forced grin.

Richard scoffed at the bowl. “What the hell is this?”

“Richard!” Linda chastised her husband.

Fran swiftly read from the card, “A roasted butternut and apple soup with ginger and coconut milk.”

Linda took a tentative sip and her eyebrows rose. “I see Rosalee has improved.”

Donna followed her lead, also approving of the soup and the improved quality.

Harlan spoke up, “I'm afraid Rosalee has retired. I've hired someone new.” He sent Fran to ask his new chef to come out, greet his family and serve dinner.

Elizabeth pushed the cart out to the dining area. Feeling like she was walking into shark infested waters wearing a wounded seal suit. All eyes were on her as she entered. Harlan introduced her and asked what she had for them.

“I have for you a herb crusted crown roast of pork with a side of carrots and parsnips in citrus butter.”

“Um, excuse me, hi.” Joni raised her hand, pointing to the offending entrée. “We can't eat that. My Meg and I are vegan. Do you expect me and my daughter to just munch on carrots all night?”

Elizabeth nodded, "I have been informed of your dietary restrictions and made you both something separate.“ She placed the extra meal in front of them. ”Quinoa cakes with a tomato-zucchini and chickpea relish, drizzled with a balsamic glaze. But if you would like the citrus carrots on the side I can get that for you as well."

“Dietary restrictions, my ass. It's not a restriction, it's a mental illness.” Walt began to rant, “You know how you can spot a vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you. They'll never shut up about it. Those douchebags think they're better than everyone else. They look down on us meat eaters, keep trying to convert us. Well let me tell you, eating meat is my God given right. My right! Don't you realize you can't live without meat. Your brain will die. That's why you are all so miserable, you're slowly dying.”

Donna rubbed her husband's shoulder in approval. While Richard raised his glass in salute to Walt's bullshit. Linda pursed her lips, ignoring them and trying to have a chat with her father.

Joni was on the defense, “We are the healthiest we've ever been. It's good for the planet, the environment, which benefits everyone, need I remind you.” She ignored her brother-in-law's snickering. “Let's be real, veganism is the answer to this world's problems. It is. It's the only moral choice. It clears up your skin and makes you feel good inside and out. And we don't have to feel guilty about contributing to the exploitation and slaughter of innocent lives. Animals are just like us.”

“Just like us?” Walt interjected. “Oh really, should we have dad's dogs sitting at the table with us? I tell ya, if Meg was a boy, I'd be calling DCF because you'd be depriving him of nutrients he needs to grow strong and polluting his male DNA with soy.”

“You're the one with blood on your hands, Walt. All those poor cute animals you've killed….”

Richard scoffed, “You've only been,” he raised his fingers in air quotes, “vegan for a damn month.”

“Ya well, I saw the truth and I'm changing. You'll see it too or die with all those animal products clogging your arteries... Plus it's been two months. Thank you very much.”

“I will happily eat my steak and drink my milkshakes all the way to my grave.”

Joni rolled her eyes, “Uck, you are completely hopeless.”

Walt raised his hand to silence any reply from Richard. “Don't bother. It's not worth fueling her delusions.”

That seemed to put an end to that argument. The rest of the meal went well. Although out of the whole family, only Harlan and Meg said 'thank you.' Not even the young boy spoke up. For being so rich and fancy, they certainly lacked manners.

Dessert was served without incident. Tiramisu and a mini vegan version for Joni and Meg. Harlan seemed to be in heaven, commenting on how rich and decadent it was.

After dinner was over, Elizabeth and Fran began clearing the table. Linda poked her head in, “Elizabeth, may I have a word with you?”

“Was there something wrong with your meal?”

“Oh no, no, dinner was lovely. However, I wanted to make sure you weren't making desserts like that for my dad all the time. He's getting up there in years and has to watch his cholesterol, his sugar intake, blood pressure, things of that nature. He can't be consuming food like you made tonight. He needs to eat healthier. I'd like to keep him around for a long time. I'm sure you can understand.”

“I fully understand, ma'am, but there is no need for concern. The food was chosen because this was a special occasion. It doesn't reflect his daily meals.” Elizabeth noticed Harlan a few feet behind his daughter. He winked at her before alerting her of his presence.

Linda clapped her hands, “Delightful. I'm so glad we have an understanding. I will make you a list of approved meals.” She smiled at her father before walking away.

Once Linda was out of earshot, Harlan leaned close to Elizabeth, “I'm not eating that pigeon food. You put her little list up on the message board in the kitchen and ignore it.”

Elizabeth thought she was safe. The family was dispersing out into the night. She turned on some music and began washing the dishes. Her hips swaying to the beat.

Joni snuck up behind her. “Oh I love this song.” She attempted to dance alongside Elizabeth, bumping their hips together. “Don't be shy. I could tell you recognize me. I get it allll the time now. You're correct, it's me. Owner, CEO, COO and CFO of FLAM.” She continued boasting about being a top influencer and her skin care products while Elizabeth stood there like a deer in the headlights.

An unwelcomed hand reached out to stroke her cheek, “Your skin looks so parched. You could really use a hydrating serum. My company offers the perfect product to help. It's an all organic algae blend that feels like the ocean on your face. So refreshing. And there's a vitamin C serum that will bring some life back to your overworked face.”

“Well let me tell you, FLAM is trending right now, it's going to be huge. You go ahead and follow me on twitter or instagram. I'm offering my first 100 followers a 15% off coupon. That will be available once I find the right graphic designer for my website. Those I interviewed so far just couldn't grasp my vision. This is a lifestyle I'm promoting. I have to trust they get my brand, ya know. But hold onto that coupon, it will be honored. So lovely to meet you, Evelyn.”

“Elizabeth,” she corrected.

“Sure.” Joni made her exit, blowing a kiss.

Fran entered and passed over the joint in her fingers. “It's like the fucking twilight zone isn't it.”

“You weren't kidding.”

The Thrombeys were the most insincere backstabbing piece of crap family she had the displeasure of meeting thus far. She wondered if any of them loved or were loyal to anything but money. Doubtful. Thank goodness she didn’t have to encounter them often.

Chapter 3

#niffala fics #ransom drysdale angst #ransom drysdale smut #ransom drysdale x ofc

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benoitblanc · 11 months

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for the sleepover asks !!

give me an unpopular opinion you have about knives out, what you would like to see in knives out 3 and lastly can i please have some film recs (it can be whatever genre you want just films you think i should watchhh) 🩷🩷🩷

unpopular opinion about knives out: i literally do not think i have any. i guess i completely understand why the scenes with donna and jacob explaining the walt/loan shark subplot were cut, if that even counts as unpopular? it definitely fills out that branch of the family more but i think if they HAD to cut anything it really had to be that; it didn't really contribute to the actual mystery, and i would rather spend spare minutes getting to know the cabreras than the least interesting thrombey sect

what i would like in knives out 3: this is not going to happen but i would give my right arm for elliot and wagner to come back in some capacity. i LOVE them. from a more serious standpoint, i'd like at least a little more philip, and it would make me very happy if we did a big city mystery now and went to london. maybe blanc and philip are visiting philip's family or something when shit goes down i don't know. what i DON'T want is anything that pulls blanc's personal life into the mystery. if philip or his family gets involved, fine! but i DO NOT want a benoit blanc backstory. he's compelling enough as is he doesn't need one <3

film recs (you have asked the right person; i love reccing things):

little miss sunshine (2006) is a black comedy about a dysfunctional family attempting to drive their volkswagen van from new mexico to california to enroll their 6yo in a beauty pageant. if knives out didn't exist this would be my favorite film of all time. it's SO good

tick tick boom (2021) is a musical drama about a young composer trying to make his way in the nyc theatre world in the 1990s. bring tissues for this one

galaxy quest (1999) is a loving parody of the star trek franchise that revolves around the ex-cast of a popular sci-fi show being abducted by aliens who think the show is real. possibly the funniest film of all time methinks

clue (1985)... i do not know how to describe this film. it's a murder comedy and tim curry is the lead. please watch this movie

it's a wonderful life (1947) is a theoretically-christmas film that you've likely heard of. if not, the first two-thirds of this film are a heartwarming dramedy about a young man's relationship with his small town and the last third is an existential horror film. it's a classic for a reason!

much ado about nothing (2011) is technically a proshot of a play but i don't fucking care. david tennant in That Scene is the greatest performance an actor has ever given

sleepover asks!!!

#thanks so much for asking!!!#answered #*mutuals #*milo

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hepbaestus · 1 year

Text

Thoughts on Knives Out (2019)

I watched the second one first without even knowing that there was a first film. So here's my thoughts on Knives Out (2019).

All I know is that Chris Evans is in this film.

Oooo creepily fancy ancient manor

Those masks are creepy

That door is cool, it's like half a coffin door

Oh no, he's dead!

Oooo the new generation these days, always stuck on their technology.

CHRIS EVANS!! (Of course his name is Ransom)

Good ol' Benoit Blanc

I love that Donna is so easily scared

Jesus Christ, Jacob, at 16 is already into politics??

Meg is so pwetty.

I still don't like the accent

Why the fuck is there just a Hamilton reference in this film?

I mean you already are shit talking about your baby brother.

Isn't this the film where Chris' character goes on a long speech about how he killed Fran?

It looks like it is.

Is he cheating?

Oh he is.

Those eyes are creepy (the ones behind Harlan)

This is where all the lies get told.

I forget how much American tuition costs for university

The guy practically lives in a Clue board, well you see.

Jesus those stairs are creaky

That wall of knives is on the sleeve of this films dvd and they point to a certain character (I don't know which one though)

Poor Martha

"Don't be seen." Gets seen by Harlan's mother

All those letters have the same emblem in the top left corner of the page.

I recognise that woman (Fran) who's talking about her cousin, I don't know where from. (She's in Violent Night, that's where I recognise her from)

I also recognise Donna (she was in the big bang theory and in Wednesday)

None of them can get where Martha's family is from (they've said Ecuador, Uruguay, Brazilian, etc.)

Sitting in the dark, ominously, as you do.

"So, how about it, Watson?" There's always a Sherlock reference somewhere in a murder mystery.

Oh shit.

Oooo blood on the converse.

It is this film!!

His first name's Hugh?

CSI KFC? So funny.

The lotus biscuits!! They are some good and cheap biscuits.

Of course, family discourse at a will reading.

Also who names their kid Hugh Ransom Thrombey

I love Ransom's character. I know he's not morally right (none of them are to be fair)

"Matter of fact, eat shit." God I love this character.

I like how they're all separated in their seats by family and how Ransom's at the far back away from everyone else.

I really like Ransom's scarf, cool patterns.

This will is going to cause a lot of uproar, I can feel it

This will reader is not professional at all

They all go to Martha Cabrera?!

I love Ransom's reaction.

Melinda accusing Martha of having sexual relations with Harlan but using the word 'boinking' is so funny to me

The way the camera is picked up and shows Martha's anxiety is really cool.

Goddamn Ransom shouldn't be as funny as he is.

I like the beemer. It's a nice car.

It's the iconic knitted jumper!!

This man's is good.

Detective Blank? Can't even get his name right, jesus.

Meg is finally seeing the bullshit of her mum.

Nevermind. Jesus Christ Meg.

Jesus Christ, Walter is just another rich asshole

Oh shit, Norfolk county medical centre got set on fire.

Rip Fran.

That's a big lake.

Overall score: 9.5/10

Whoever thought of the plot of this film and Glass Onion is a fucking genius.

Oh Fran's alive?? Cool.

ITS THE FUCKING SPEECH!!!! HELL YEAH!!

Oh Fran's dead, shit.

That's genius. Omg.

Also quite disgusting.

What.

Ohhhh it was a fake knife.

That is one clever letter!

It's really nice that she was the one given everything, the only person involved that was humane and not selfish.

The mug!

Such a subtle message to the family.

#film reviews #film #film recommendations #film review #netflix #film recommendation #film rec #knives out #knives out (2019)#chris evans #daniel craig

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turtleedovee · 4 years

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one scene i absolutely love in Knives Out is when Ransom says something like “You think I’m not gonna fight to protect our home? our birthright? our ancestorial family home?” and Detective Benoit starts laughing bc Harlan had bought that home in the 80s and in NO WAY was there’s for like centuries. i like it so much because it’s a good way of showing how specifically white people few entitled to a lot of things in life. they believe they are the owners and creators of everything. where in reality it’s not true. the whole race play in this movie is phenomenal. especially when they all say they are successful bc they built each of their businesses from the ground up. which is not true, their father gave them the money to make them successful. none of them started from the ground up. Also the little detailing especially around Marta when none of them know where she’s from, they say Ecuador, Urugay, and Brazil which as a latinx made me laugh really hard. but also when they’re talking about being illegal immigrants and how Marta’s family did it “the right way” which as we know later isn’t true. but as Richard is saying that he hands Marta his plate as if she were the maid, that isn’t her job and the fact that the positioning of the camera is so discrete that you can probably miss it, makes it near perfect because it’s not shoved in our faces, WERE THE ONES supposed to get the message and figure it out for ourselves.

i will never stop talking about the brilliancy of this movie

#knives out #marta cabrera #detective benoit blanc #ransom #donna thrombey #latinx

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incorrectknivesout · 4 years

Conversation

*at the zoo*

Jacob: What are they in for?

Donna: Jacob, this is not prison

Jacob: So they can leave?

Donna: No, but-

Jacob, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one murdered someone

#source: unknown #knives out #jacob thrombey #Donna Thrombey #incorrect quotes #incorrect knives out quotes

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imtryingandtired · 1 year

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Ransom at a family event wanting to start shit: My family and their

✨problems✨

-pointing to Donna who’s just drinking her wine- Spent 5 years in Spain and still can’t speak Spanish.

-pointing to great grandma Wanetta who’s just chilling- Will probably outlive us all.

-pointing at Linda halfway through a pack- Can’t live without her cigarettes.

-pointing to Jacob on his phone- The worst food critic ever.

-pointing to Joni who’s talking about Flam- The Paris Hilton of the family.

-pointing to Meg who’s hanging around the dessert table- Went to a Liberal arts school just to become the baker of the family.

-pointing at Walt who’s already annoyed with him- Should’ve been uninvited.

#knives out incorrect quotes #ransom drysdale #donna thrombey #wanetta thrombey #linda drysdale #jacob thrombey #joni thrombey #meg thrombey #walt thrombey #knives out

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benoitblanc · 1 year

Note

top 5 dw characters, top 5 characters from knives out and glass onion (combined or separate i don't mind!), top 5 pasta meals !! 💕💕💕

DW CHARACTERS:

donna noble. all hail the queen

rory williams. where do i get a rory i want one

amy pond!

ten, but ONLY s4 ten

bill potts. cannot BELIEVE she only got one season

BBCU CHARACTERS (this was a test in me determining if there were actually 5 likable characters in the BBCU):

marta cabrera

benoit blanc

helen brand

elliot and wagner, who are a package deal because i say so

harlan thrombey

bonus is nana i fuckin LOVE her

TOP 5 PASTA MEALS:

mac and cheese OBVIOUSLY. special shoutout to the pesto mac and cheese they do at this cafe downtown where i go to uni. holy FUCK is that good. but really any mac and cheese fits this bill i would eat mac and cheese from a dumpster. another mac and cheese tangent but i had this basil and pea mac and cheese at this little cafe in the uk like ten years ago and i still think about it from time to time. i've tried to recreate it at home and it's still delicious but it's just not the same

there's this thai place also downtown where i go to uni that does chicken udon noodle soup with tons of spices and vegetables and it's SO good oh my god

my mum makes caprese casserole in the summer when she has fresh tomatoes and basil from her garden, which is pretty much chicken and pasta in this creamy sauce with roasted tomatoes and basil leaves. my GOD is it good

tortellini alfredo. no further comment necessary

and my family always makes homemade noodles for thanksgiving instead of mashed potatoes and they're delicious. we take all the little broken bits and fry them in butter and throw them on top. get a pasta machine it will change your life

ask my top 5/10 anything!!!

#NOW I'M HUNGRY THANKS MILO #thanks so much for asking!!!#answered #abt arwen #*mutuals #*milo

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