You know what irritates me? When I type "raphael" into the search engine and only ninja turtles come up 😾

Life stop kicking my ass challenge (impossible)

reached the "being tired 24/7" phase of still my ongoing depressive episode yay

i wanted to meet with a friend for a coffee and a chat, but everything aches and i'm so bloody exhausted so i had to cancel eughh now i feel bad 😫

What they say: I don't mind that you're autistic, everyone is different, it's all good! 🥰🥰🥰

What they mean: I don't mind you being autistic as long as you're just whimsical and quirky, but as soon as your behavior becomes the slightest bit inconvenient for me personally, you need to shape the fuck up already. Aren't you an adult? Get it together! Control yourself!

no i'm not done talking about this

where the fuck does my mom get off acting like i need to be sure and ready for hormones when it's clearly her who's not ready

i know what i'm getting into with hrt, i know about the stuff i'll get that i want, and the stuff i won't like but will learn to live with if i have to

i'm scared of starting hormones, but i WANT to, the only reason i didn't tell my therapist to get me a referral to planned parenthood is because i knew mom wouldn't like it and would possibly have a meltdown if she learned that there wasn't a "rigorous, in depth screening" for me to receive the care that i want and need

i'm sick of my mom pretending that i need time to think this through (as if i haven't been doing that for like eight years now) when she's clearly the one still grasping at the shreds of my womanhood because she doesn't want to let her "daughter" go

i am not her daughter, i am her son, i am the same person, just with a new name, pronouns, and gendered descriptors

and i wish i could tell her all this without her bursting into tears because she can't handle it

i tolerate her and my dad calling me by my deadname when referring to me to each other, i tolerate the slip ups when she calls me by my deadname and doesn't correct herself, including just moments ago when she was talking about whether insurance would cover my transition, i tolerate the "she"s and the "her"s and all that shit because i don't want to correct them and risk upsetting mom especially

i can't wait for her to get in with a therapist so she can work all of this out with a professional who will be on my side, and say what i'm too scared to

man...whenever I think that I've finally made it out of this seasonal-depression fueled slump I have one good day and then immediately revert back into having no energy and feeling like a shitty puddle of useless sad juice

can't get a job at most places bc im autistic and physically disabled, can't get a job at the places i CAN work at bc i can't drive, can't drive bc im autistic and physically disabled, can't use public transportation bc the closest public transportation is still 20 minutes away by car, can't take an uber bc they charge too much, especially in my city. can barely survive off my partner's paycheck bc everything is so fucking expensive but especially groceries, and even more so gluten free groceries, can't eat gluten and save money bc I'm highly allergic to gluten. can't work from home bc I've always gotten into shit talking on the phone bc im autistic. can't get on disability bc the process is too long and even if they don't reject me, i lose all those benefits after im married. society wants me dead, and yet despite that, and despite them being the ones making it impossible for me to work, they still condemn me for not working and call me lazy and entitled for "not contributing to society", despite them being the ones to exclude me

People get so all-or-nothing judgy about the most random things. I just saw a comment on a post about eating bread that was like “I don’t trust bitches who don’t eat bread or ice cream” and it just... wtf?

The logic apparently being that people who don’t eat bread or ice cream are slim and therefore angry and hungry at all times. Because as we all know, bread and ice cream are the two things that will make you gain weight. Eat those, bam, you can’t be slim anymore. And slim people can only ever be slim because they are starving themselves, and are therefore miserable and angry.

And it’s not like people are gluten-intolerant and can’t eat bread. Or lactose-intolerant and can’t eat ice cream. Or plain don’t like bread or ice cream. Nope, they’re all untrustworthy bitches who are starving themselves.

Personally I think the real issue might be that the commenter is not slim but would like to be and instead of sorting out their own problems has decided to be mad at everyone who doesn’t happen to have the exact same problems, while completely ignoring the fact that they might have other problems. Because why have understanding for others when you can be aggressively judgy to make yourself feel better, right?

And I bet they don’t like being judged for their food choices or what they look like or how much they weigh. So maybe... hear me out... don’t do it to others?

I knew getting littermate puppies together would mean dealing with two senior dogs and their additional ailments at the same time, but they were obtained shortly after another dog only a couple years older than them, leaving me NOW with THREE senior dogs and a rapidly growing list of ailments that are getting increasingly out of hand I’m fuckin’-

one of the joys of having an emotionally erratic parent is how other people don’t understand why you’re walking on eggshells all the time. like “oh just communicate with them it’s not that hard :)” and then when you do communicate and the parent responds in what SEEMS like a rational manner everyone is like “see :))) it wasn’t that bad :)))) what are you so stressed for?” oh my sweet summer child. you did not grow up with this parent. i did. and i am painfully aware that every interaction has consequences that could come back later and bite me in the ass.

Just had a migraine/cluster headache so bad i almost went to the e.r. Christ, it was the worst pain i've felt next to the bad large kidney stone i passed. my body starts sweating but i was shivering and i was having flash memories & out of body time in those 4 hours... i think migraine/cluster headache will kill me someday.

tbh I think I'm a bad person and I just hate myself so much

Listen, am I the only one whose mother just KEEP INTERRUPTING HER? I'm speaking and she interrupts me and it is very uncomfortable and then I don't want to fucking speak. She's been doing this since I was a child and I'm fucking 21. Every fucking time istg, I want to scream

do you ever just realize that a person you love is just... competely out of touch with reality? like i be over here in the fucking trenches wrestling god to barely scrap by and bitch be over there suggesting that yeah, we can totally hang out and spend your whole paycheck at once, like you do. what do you mean you can't afford it?? bills??? grocerys??? what are thoooose???

the fucking cognitive dissonace of it all, you feel me. what the actual fuck.

Even after all this time and awareness, it feels like asexuality is still not treated like a proper sexuality. Recently had a girl tell me that she was at a place where she ‘felt so asexual’ because all the other girls were so beautiful and guys were ignoring her because of it. She didn’t know I was asexual and I didn’t take offence (I know she didn't meant it in a malicious way) but it does feel uncomfortable that people are using ‘asexual’ in lieu of ‘unattractive' or 'lacking sexual appeal.' It's really giving 90's/early 2000's slang of using 'gay' to mean 'lame.' Even shows like Brooklyn 99 which took immense pride in being progressive with their comedy, had an episode where one of the characters says "Oh, and I'm sorry if we implied you're both asexual nerds who can only be friends with service animals."

I have mentioned this before also, when I talked about how I feel like people are more comfortable erasing the identities of canonical aro/ace characters in media but act like it's unacceptable with other sexualities... but it does feel like asexuality (and aromanticism tbh) are still not considered 'real' sexualities. In the case of shipping fictional characters, I understand there is nuance to that issue and so don't want to get into it, but it does kinda add to my point.

Why is it that people treat asexuality like it's not a sexuality? Why is it that when I come out to people I'm met with insistence that I'm wrong about my sexuality, that I'm 'self diagnosing' (it's not a medical condition), that I'm probably 'just inexperienced' or haven't 'met the right person' or have a hormone issue? Why can't people just accept that it's a sexuality like any other??

i really have to learn how to post more often if i want ppl to give a shit about my OCs lmao 😮‍💨