#doing anything to avoid studying
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*drops here*
#meta knight#galacta knight#metagala#kirby#my art#doing anything to avoid studying#I do have exams tomorrow#i'm fucked#anyway#Here's some content for my metagala ppl#it's not much but it's honest work#Haha he got catfished
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Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u
#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they#worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic#with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers#I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories#and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that#but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here#u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others#don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice?#nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it????#im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop#could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that#while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures#yapping#vent
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The villains wiki is so funny I love how it has a 'hobby' section which in daemon's case consists of 'causing chaos' and 'antagonizing otto hightower' good for him for having fun little side projects :)
#.txt#the aegon goals one is so funny#goals: avoid being crowned as king (failed)#does joffrey have hobbies hold on#'justifying his atrocities' so true#'torturing his subjects through ✨inventive ways✨' why are you praising his creativity 😭#help why are half the characters here. is it just anyone who did anything slightly evil#WHAT DID MACE DO#i love bobby b's hobby section bc its like. drinking😈 whoring😈 spending time with his friends 💗 tormenting his squires 😈#surprised that cersei's hobbies dont include 'being mean to tommen'#criston's hobby is 'following orders' girl that is not a hobby that's just your job#start doing yoga or smth maybe that will fix you#why is tywin the only normal one. hobbies: hunting. fishing. studying 💗 seems like a lovely old man :)#hold on i gotta make a separate post for this
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everyone should make bad art and bad writing and bad comics and bad games it is good for the soul
#lem text#i’ve been thinking lots lately (specifically w/ comics) about how there is such an emphasis on things being polished & planned & consistent#mostly due to the popularity & state of webtoon n such. there’s a big expectation of how things should be but comics can be anything!!!#soososo many videos on ‘things NEVER to do in webcomics!!! avoid this & that!!!!’#and i LOVE studying art + storytelling advice it’s my favorite thing to learn about comic devices n hear about what works and what doesn’t#but if someone’s making something for fun they should absolutely feel like its ok to just jump into it!!#we all have stories to tell but if we keep waiting for the ‘skill’ to tell them we will never say a word…!! yknow!!!#anyway this is just me trying to convince myself that it’s ok to make my own on impulse HKFJDK MY HEART NEEDS TO MAKE THINGS
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Meet Alzette the Melusine!
Fontaine has me in a chokehold, y'all. I found fifty Hydroculi in two days.
#doodles from a pond#what's this? I shaded? a miracle#genshin impact#genshin impact oc#fontaine#the melusine are so cute actually#this one just happens to be a little fucked up#genshin 4.0#I forget the name for the Fontaine cops so work with me here#alzette's just there vibing#never crosses paths with the traveler and just focuses on avoiding court work at all cost#the opera house gets super loud :(#she'd be thrilled about meeting other humanoid species however#adepti for example#paimon would be at the top of her study list#she freaks out the other melusines cause of her chosen field however#only cousin aeval is happy to see her on the rare occasion she sees sunlight#also she has beef with the poodle Baguette and no one knows why#Clorinde uses her to spy on people when she's busy with bodyguard duties#Alzette will do anything for bulle fruit it's actually nuts
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“Bloody, slutty, and pathetic. It’s the perfect man.” | [creds]
#mitch marner#toronto maple leafs#op#i will do ANYTHING to avoid studying lmao#i made a mitch tiktok of this earlier just for my own camera roll for funsies#and was like .... what if i made a gifset with it instead#anyway... it was a lot more fun than studying#blood tw
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tara, chad, and amber but with the song glimpse of us by joji
u cant tell me it doesnt work, just imagine it
—> chad is the perfect guy, sweet strong and caring
—> amber was anything but perfect, sarcastic and a bit of an asshole (tara didnt mind too much, she got to see the amber that melted for her behind closed doors)
—> amber’s gone now and chad is just there, present and patient and oh so willing to love tara
—> where amber was harsh and abrasive, chad is goofy and gentle
—> he wants to love tara, so she lets him
—> he’s everything that she should want, but she can’t stop comparing him to amber
—> tara’s spent countless hours looking for similarities between the two in chad and amber’s differences
—> sometimes, when chad leans in to kiss her, she sees it deep within his warm brown eyes
—> she catches a glimpse of the same tender look that amber used to give her, and only then does she allow herself to get fully consumed by chad
#tara carpenter x chad meeks-martin#tara carpenter x amber freeman#HELP I RLLY DONT WANT TO STUDY#ANYTHING I CAN DO TO AVOID IT I WILL 🫡#genius ideas for future use
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I hope you all know that the King Papyrus ending literally lives rent free in my head I think about it a lot-
#i think about this ending so much that the first name i really went by on the internet was King lmfao djgfhjkdgndfh#Anyways I think about it SO SO much it is SUCH a good character study for him GOD QAQ#Dude he was probably so excited when he was chosen to be king look what you did to him you gave a perfectly good skeleton severe depression#It's also a good character study for sans too I'd like to argue#like idk i think about it so much anyways it's about sans lying to papyrus about where their friends are because he knows that's like#the last thing holding him together. It's about Papyrus being aware of this but kind of refusing to believe anything else#it's about this putting a strain on their relationship it's about sans doing a bunch of work to help papyrus like#guy that does no work ever does a bunch of work there's something to say about that but i'm avoiding doing homework i can't get into it now#it's about Papyrus trying his fucking best but not knowing what the fuck he's doing but having to keep it together#cause the SECOND he cracks under pressure everything is gonna go to shit cause he is quite literally the undergrounds only hope#it's about Papyrus literally being the last option for a ruler. it's about-#I need to get back to doing homework you get the gist dshjgkndfh
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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tommy: john?
constantine: mm?
tommy: he had your laugh.
the way this almost made me cry just now, like!! the family man looking like john's father (who john resembles) and reminding john of himself, the demon constantine being his own double, the tulpa of the happiest possible version of himself who still turned out to be a raging monster — his scariest enemies keep ending up being versions of him.
his greatest fear is becoming a monster and he keeps coming up against that fear again and again and again. no wonder he avoids his own eyes when he looks in the mirror.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#there's that one new 52 comic where he met an alternate version of himself who was practically the golden boy w/o the og connotations#a version of himself who lived his life beautifully. whose mother lived. whose father was kind. who was still with kit ryan.#and he killed that version of himself in order to return to his own universe#and i can't help but wonder if he would have killed his alternate self anyway. even if it Wasn't necessary to his survival#because as spurrier's run has shown: even the happiest version of himself is a bastard beyond redemption#and that is all john will ever see in himself. someone who blights existence by his very breath#he'll never fully recognize that it is the mistakes he's made in this life that have shaped him into the best possible version of him#warts and all. failures and all. rage and grief and loss and unhealthy coping mechanisms and all.#he'll never understand that his most feared enemies look like him bc they TERRIFY him. not because they're INEVITABLE#he would do ANYTHING to avoid becoming like the family man. like the tulpa. Any. Fucking. Thing.#splits me down the fucking middle knowing he can't see that in himself#anyway it's FINE i'm FINE#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.
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Hateful: multiple times in the past few months I've read fanfic about two separate characters whom I found endearing and thought "Oh my god Hux was the blueprint"
#this KEEPS HAPPENING#it keeps happening.... i have such a type it's. the horror of knowing myself#for the three beloveds who will see this (if you see it you're the beloved)#and whose passing curiosity will have asking 'oh who was it?'#it was a modern au!astarion a few months ago#and right then it was loki. 😔#i mean to be fair i fucking knew it. i knew it!#like. astarion? i saw his face three times in august and it was over. i didn't pick favourites because there wasn't a choice#loki i have been Aware of for. years and years. and i was studiously avoiding anything mcu related because god forbid#but it's happening. it's happening#i always knew if i got into it loki would be. a clear blorbo for me. and i was correct!#the 13yo inside of you never leaves. i get to make her proud by drawing fanart at least#how do i even describe that type. what kind of character are all three of these guys?#i need to study all my blorbos under a microscope and compare them#wow i have a ramble tag now
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soooo i was right 🫠😐🫥 the Friend like likes me and it seems e v e r y o n e around me has known sINCE FEBRUARY
#SO 👏🏾 let’s just let it be known that i’m an Obviously Silly Clown so no one needs to tel me that ik already so i already told y’all how he#said he needed to Talk to me and i was planning on avoiding him but my friends said not to bc it’s not the Adult Thing To Do and he is my#friend and i care about him so it wouldn’t be nice so i didn’t me and my roommate went to dairy queen with him after i finished braiding her#hair so we were getting out the car to go get ready for bible study at church but then he’s all like ‘VK i need to talk to you can you pleas#stay?’ and i was like KAJDJDJFJFJJD NO but on the outside i was such a Normal Girl and was like sure :)) so we’re in the parking lot and i l#left the door open bc i didn’t want to feel claustrophobic but i lied 🤥 and said it was hot so he starts out all like sorry i made you anxio#us by prolonging this talk and i was like lol no it’s fine i was busy with exams and stuff and he just kinda gets quiet and he was like sooo#i like you and i’m like#🤔😃🫠😶🫥😧 processing#and then i was like ok elaborate and he’s like i have feelings for you so i’m SHOOK BC WOWIE ppl aren’t cowards like me cause i could never#and i say well thanks for telling me and i think you’re really brave for that but i’m sorry i don’t feel the same way but i still want to be#friends but if you need space then it’s fine as well and he’s like ya i didn’t expect anything from you i just didn’t want to regret not#saying anything so i was ABOUT TO CRY BC I HAD TO REJECT HIM BC I REALLY DONT HAVE THOSE FEELJNGS FOR HIM so i left and went home and my <3#almost exploded from my chest i was on the verge of a panic attack and i told my roommate and she was LAUGHING BC SHES SUSPECTED HES LIKED#ME SINCE FEBRUARY when he paid for my pizza and aPpArEnTlY hOw He LoOkS aT mE 🙄 WHATEVER#AND THEN I TOLD MY SECOND ROOMMATE AND SHES LIKE O YA IM NOT SURPRISED#so i’m just an oblivious silly goose who doesn’t USE HER BRAIN like kajdjdjhddjd and and now i’m thinking of the things i’ve done that made#him think i like him too like i baker him a pie for his birthday and i just feel silly and need advice if anyone has any but if not it’s fin#just an update on my life if you’re interested#vk overshares in the tags
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:!(((((((( Transitory period yeah whatever
#i want to be holed up in this room for a long time..... i don't want to do any of the things i have planned for the next 2 days.#i should study for a test.#idk. iwant to break down crying to feel a bit better afterwards let the pressure go but i can't#days go by and i live my stupid little life in an unsatisfactory way#not engaging with anything that makes my soul feel more alive#purposefully or accidentqlly distancing myself even#engaging with people i do not feel connected to just to avoid complete loneliness but feeling worse in the process#just making bad choices again and again and again and feeling stupidly guilty for my very existence#daring to take up space and air . if daring is even the right word#just sort of. wasting away.
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i often get nostalgic for something i never had the chance to experience but only watched from afar, when i see teenage boys on public transport with dyed buzz cuts and skateboards
#i never really did anything in hs but study cry drink coffee and draw and cry some more and then draw some more#i was very... anxious academically inclined and artistic (the three big As of my hs experience) but i was so obsessed with perfection#that i only had fun like 30% of the time#i had a few close friends but i was so afraid of social situations and i avoided bigger gatherings and club activities that actually couldv#benefited me#i never dared to try things outside my comfort zone#i wanted to learn how to skateboard and i wanted to go places alone but i was always too scared#i do the second thing nowadays bc i have no friends at my university...#thats good i guess but im still really on edge while im out alone sometimes idk#i guess the point is i wish i had more fun when i was younger#im only 20 now so i guess it's still high time#but I've felt so horribly alone since i was 17#z.post
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Vigo has a heart murmur
#we went in today bc he hurt his back#and then the vet noticed this she checked twice#the vet ranked it a 3/6#we did an x ray his hearts a little enlarged too#almost started crying in the vet office lmao#I’m just crying on the car ride back I’m glad my dad offered to drive lmao#I’m just floored bc a few months ago he got checked and he was fine#and last Jan we dealt w the tumor surgery#and I was like wow thank god we caught that early#the vet gave me a cardiologist referral#I’ll see how soon I can take him in#he’s not even on a grain free diet or anything I avoided that specifically#bc I know there are studies showing a link btwn those diets and some like heart issue in dogs IIRC??#she told me it wasn’t anything I did to cause it bc I kept asking like did I do anything wrong 🙃#xangoeswah
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