#i never really did anything in hs but study cry drink coffee and draw and cry some more and then draw some more
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i often get nostalgic for something i never had the chance to experience but only watched from afar, when i see teenage boys on public transport with dyed buzz cuts and skateboards
#i never really did anything in hs but study cry drink coffee and draw and cry some more and then draw some more#i was very... anxious academically inclined and artistic (the three big As of my hs experience) but i was so obsessed with perfection#that i only had fun like 30% of the time#i had a few close friends but i was so afraid of social situations and i avoided bigger gatherings and club activities that actually couldv#benefited me#i never dared to try things outside my comfort zone#i wanted to learn how to skateboard and i wanted to go places alone but i was always too scared#i do the second thing nowadays bc i have no friends at my university...#thats good i guess but im still really on edge while im out alone sometimes idk#i guess the point is i wish i had more fun when i was younger#im only 20 now so i guess it's still high time#but I've felt so horribly alone since i was 17#z.post
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