#doctor: you made the right choice
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[The rogues are in Arkham and bored.]
Eddie: If you could have sex with one person it is utterly impossible for you to have sex with, who would it be? Who is your ultimate pipe dream lay?
Victor: (sighs deeply) My own wife. Due to my lowered body temperature, simply holding her hand would cause me severe burns. I long for her to be awake and healthy again, but even then and even if she’ll still have me we’ll need to grieve all physical intimacy in our relationship. The downside of finding ‘the one’ is that you may lose them.
[A sad, uncomfortable silence. Harvey starts crying because God, he misses Gilda.]
Joker: I also choose his wife.
#guard: (gesturing to joker in a body cast) and i think the rest is self-explanatory#doctor: so you were in a position to intervene but you didn’t?#guard: it’s the joker. i was cheering freeze on#doctor: you made the right choice#joker mastered timing for comedy but finds it’s just as important for his true favourite hobby: starting shit#he says it with a completely straight face#looking victor dead in the eyes#edward nygma#the riddler#victor fries#mr freeze#the joker#gotham rogues#batman rogues#batman villains#gotham villains#arkham asylum#incorrect arkham quotes#incorrect gotham rogue quotes
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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im thinking about clara’s ending, though. like, on a very self-indulgent level, i do enjoy that she gets to live (kind of) and time travel and get an immortal girlfriend to do it with. but on another level, i’m kind of curious… why? given how much emphasis this episode and the last put on how clara herself made her choice and didn’t want the doctor to go through all of this to bring her back, i mean she’s horrified by it, both for his sake but also for the sake of her own memory that was used to bring him to this point. and then, of course, the exchange at the end with Me and the Doctor, “summer can’t last forever” “it can if you have a time machine”, that is so obviously meant to be this desperate, denying plea from the doctor to a universe that can’t care about the time he wants because it doesn’t even have enough for itself to keep living, and an immortal who has all the time in the world and can’t even remember all of it, even remember herself most of the time.
which. it’s just odd, then. that the episode ends with clara getting to have that forever summer. you’d think it goes both ways, not just that the doctor can’t run forever but neither can clara. she says they’ll be going back to gallifrey eventually, but words are a bit cheap against her literally running away with the last second of her life in a time machine. (and uh. given what eventually happens to gallifrey. lol. lmao. girl no one is putting u back there ever.)
i don’t think i’d call this a criticism exactly. just a strange choice to make, that the ending there seems completely at odds with everything else Heaven Sent/Hell Bent have been about. that this grief and denial are so destructive, and to no one more than themselves. but then clara escapes through a loophole anyway.
#like. i don’t want clara dead. don’t get me wrong i love clara.#but. her not being dead does make the ending a bit. weird? at odds with the rest of the episode.#because this is about grief. this is about how you can’t escape loss. there is no loophole in death.#except that. there is. and clara takes it. and she’s fine now.#like on the doctor’s end of things. emotionally this is still as impactful because he cannot get her back and never will.#but as an audience we know clara is. fine. she’s just fine. she got the forever summer.#idk! the dissonance is shaking me esp when the rest of the episode duo are so coherently painfully understanding about what they’re about#and then there’s also the other line from Me about how the doctor had no right to rewrite clara’s choice to face the raven. to rewrite *her*#so that he wouldn’t have to face his own grief. but clara ends this story rewritten. clara ends as the person the doctor made her so that#it wouldn’t hurt as much. clara does not have to face the raven.#like. the episodes are so good that this one bit is a whatever detail but it is. idk. its bothering me.#doctor who#clara oswald
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“This year has been kind of wild, hasn’t it?” Anna muses much, much later that evening, well into the second round of dessert. Elsa looks up, startled by the wave of somber thoughtfulness from Anna’s side of the table. She isn’t quite sure what’s going on in her own headspace, let alone her sister’s.
“I mean,” Anna’s face crumbles, and she hides it poorly, “between me moving around so much, and finding my new job, and. You know. Dealing with Hans.”
Elsa’s fingers tighten imperceptibly on the handle of her fork. She lets Anna talk, and offers her a single encouraging nod, precise and controlled. Anna’s mouth is brave, tiny smiles and courageous words, but her eyes glisten with disappointment, with fear, with countless questions that Elsa cannot answer.
“I guess I wasn’t expecting my life to really… turn out like this?”
That makes two of us, Elsa can’t help but think but doesn’t dare let the thought rise any closer to the surface. These thoughts are not fair, she knows. They are not real, or maybe they are, but perhaps they shouldn’t be; Elsa has made her own decisions, and Anna has made hers—because Anna is an adult, because she’s starting to think like one—and now the two of them are left to pick up the pieces.
“I can understand that feeling,” Elsa shares, reluctant to offer anything more encouraging, such as no one does, really, or there’s still so much more, and your life isn’t over yet. “Sometimes plans change.”
Anna makes a face. “Sometimes for the better,” she mutters darkly, grimacing into her cup of cold tea. Elsa faintly wonders when Anna will think to reheat it but lets her make that choice on her own; she tries to keep a tally in her head, these days, of how many choices she consciously relents to Anna. She knows Anna does not notice. “Like. A hell of a lot better.”
Elsa cracks an amused grin at the grit in Anna’s voice, of fire and violence, and you won’t fool me again, and allows herself a deep sigh of unexpected relief.
“It’s okay to blame me, you know,” Anna’s confession cuts through the contented haze of Elsa’s awareness. Her sister’s eyes are so honest, and all over again, Anna is breaking, breaking her heart. “You gave up your doctoral program for me.”
Elsa turns her gaze to the contents of her mug, still warm. Whatever she says next will stay in Anna’s heart forever; she wants to make sure the words are the right ones.
“I did,” she answers eventually. “But I left for me, too.”
“But you’ve been waiting for that opportunity your whole life,” Anna insists, and her cheeks are dry but there are tears in her voice, in her throat, in her essence. “You want it. And you gave it up, because I’m a mess.”
“No,” Elsa corrects. “I withdrew because life is a mess.” She thinks in sudden waves and flashes—of freedom, of feeling trapped by four walls and a bedroom set of furniture, of opportunity, of wanting escape but not knowing how to find it, of feeling crowded and alone, of realizing that control is relative and everything and nothing, and says, “It may not have been the best thing to do, but it was the best decision we could have made at the time. It happened because it needed to happen.” Elsa lets that sink in. “And I’ll go back someday.”
“When?” Anna wants to know.
But Elsa still doesn’t really have an answer.
————
start from the beginning of livable 🎄🎁❤️
#while rereading this today i didn't remember this part and#now that i am in my fourth year of my doctoral program#i gasped-----i feel this bit so much more strongly now#like i could imagine it in 2016 when i wrote this story clearly but i didn't KNOW#this story was written right before i moved to japan for a year and a half (and this tory was POSTED retroactively from tubmlr to ao3#WHILE I WAS IN JAPAN) and at this point in my life i still had an eventual PhD program on my radar but it wasn't anytime close because i#was about about embark on my Big Adventure Abroad with my fresh master's degree and my language learning journey ahead of me and i still#believed that i would be a classroom teacher forever and forever and that i would get an EdD#so the mere idea of elsa leaving her doctoral program---i could imagine but i could NOT FATHOM; not really#therentyoupay livable#jelsa#also for those of you who have read my most recent blog post on my site about how so many of my friends have either been kicked out#of our phd program or who have made the choice to leave#you can see the extra layers 🫠🫠🫠🫠🎄🎁✨
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i know doctor who has never been Perfect, and i love capaldi, i love twelve, but christ alive its a hard watch sometimes
#toy txt post#they just made him so egregiously and blatantly RACIST? like to the point where im like was this like? an on purpose characterization#choice that i just strongly disagree with? or like? is it a consequence of the writers trying to be less racist by including more#characters of color but failing by not checking their own implicit biases so now not only is the doctor racist but like. egregiously so bc#theres so many more opportunities for him to be racist? like just#and if youre sitting here like hes not!!! how dare you: pay attention to the difference in how he treats characters of color vs white chars#he hates soldiers. okay fine thats been fairly consistent. okay but 12 RLY hates them. he hates them so much he cant stand Claras bf Danny#who should be the doctors like ideal soldier bc he was a soldier who didnt want to be anymore and just wants to chill and do good in the#world and for ppl to be safe so hes just a nice math teacher and the doctor calls him stupid and treats him as if hes fucking rambo? but#the doctor is largely fine with: kate lethbridge stewart? hes fine with ogood who may not be a soldier in her own right but shes actively#participating in UNIT as a scientist in a way thats way more ~soldiery~ than anything Danny is doing? and like they clearly wanted that to#be a point of tension to point out the doctors hypocrisy of how the doctor is like a high ranking officer/general whatever#and like thats fine and fair to point out but it just sucks that they do all that and dont seem ti realize how fuckijg racist they wrote#him? he was fucking besties with winston goddamn churchill but he refuses whatshername. journey blue? as a companion bc#shes a soldier. well bro you could make her not a soldier by removing her from the fucking battlefield maybe instead of getting morally#outraged about it? not to mention noticing how when he goes from '900 yrs of space and time and ive never met anyone who wasnt important'#wandering around being fine with UNIT apparently declaring him dictator of earth in emergencies (HELLO?) but dont worry he'll let us know#he disapproves by picking some random UNIT guy to be a really condescending asshole to. pay no attention to the fact that this UNIT#guy happens to be another character of color. ~the 12th doctor is too faceblind you cant call him racist~ well for a guy who cant tell#humans apart from sontarans his accidentaly racism beam is off the charts. its crazy. god#god i wish he'd gotten written better than this#when they do write him good they write him good. but godddddddd its so#doctor who
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maybe when the spanish subtitles for “dennis takes a mental health day” are released, his doctor will say at the end “eso es bueno sr. reynolds. todavía tienes hipertensión” instead of whatever bullshit the english dub tried to pull
#TE AMO HIPERTENSIÓN#i’m still so pissed about this ending!#i want to write an essay about it i have SO many issues and SO much evidence to back that up with#and NONE of them involve any irrational shipping behavior! (i do wish macdennis had made out sloppy style OBVIOUSLY but i’m not upset it#didn’t happen#)#but unfortunately i have WORK ugh so i can’t focus on that right now#i have actual quotable evidence from the show itself and the podcast and various articles#that i think when put together will only make me even angrier that they didn’t make the SIMPLE choice#to have the doctor go ‘actually you still have hypertension’#i hope that was a HUGE argument in the writers room#i hope that they regret ending it like that#i hope they redub that one line in that one scene for syndication#and streaming#i hope you die! i hope we both die!#YOU ARE COMING DOWN WITH ME HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND#unfortunately i have work so instead of fixating i have to write about jail-based harm reduction addiction treatment#🙄#dennis takes a mental health day#dennis reynolds#iasip s16 spoilers
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I find it kind of funny how people complain about characters that are children acting childish.
Like yeah…they are in fact a child. Good observation.
#susan foreman#adric doctor who#adric#doctor who#classic doctor who#davina claire#the originals#I’m sure I could come up with more#like okay#you were totally mature and made all the right choices when you were a teenager#emotional maturity not yet fully unlocked#must level up first#sorry not sorry#children#teenagers
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Adapting between formats is not always something that I'm a fan of but I do firmly believe that Big Finish maim range 49 Master would work well as a choose-your-own-adventure book/game
#it's also a terrible name like stop giving stories the same title as a major character you've just made it a nightmare to search for#ANYWAY#like all the way down it's about choices and fate#and we can work within the confines of the format. if you know where the ending is going does that mean it's not worth the struggle?#you made a terrible choice right at the start and the book is actively giving you the ability to go back and change it; what cost is too#much? if you choose wrong again would you beg to change the story again? how far can a character change from the role they were given?#doctor who#big finish
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i think the issue is that, because the dance of the dragons would be seen as a pretty black and white issue for any modern audience (is there anyone who reads fire and blood and ISN’T on team blacks), and because the showrunners wanted to make this more of a muddied water situation, they have put a lot more effort into characterizing and fleshing out “the queen’s party” than they’ve done with “the party of the princess”. we learn a lot more about and get a lot more character work for people like alicent and aemond and helaena and even aegon, far more than we ever do about jace or luke or joffrey or baela or rhaena or even rhaenys, and don’t get me started on how just fucking confusing daemon is half the time, and what we know about people like corlys is pretty one note. rhaenyra’s the only one of that side who’s getting anything fleshed out, as opposed to literally everyone else opposing her where we get things like otto’s ambition warring with his love of family, while everyone on her side of the board is ridiculously flattened out to one or two character traits, or basically being furniture, where we get things like me being genuinely confused over which of laena’s twins is betrothed to who and how does she even feel about it, who knows.
and it’s ending up in this bizarre situation (for me at least), where intellectually i’m on the side of the blacks because they’re just in the logical and moral right of the situation that’s going to create the dance, the matter of the succession, but i’m so much more emotionally invested in the greens and in their desires and growths and struggles.
#personal#house of the dragon#i do think it's a genuine issue that i can tell you a whole lot more about helaena than i can tell you about jace or luke#god i know more about what motivates criston than about what motivates literally rhaenys#(don't even get me started on daemon there's a lot of choices they've made for him that i do not understand the point of)#(i just think one of the writers has it in for him or really hated the seasons with the eleventh doctor on doctor who & got his revenge)#but like rhaenyra is the only one on team blacks that i'm invested in as a CHARACTER#(and little aegon but that's just cuz i'm ready for whoever plays him during A Certain Scene to act his little heart out)#like i get fleshing out the greens i do and i'm actually quite fine with it#as i've said show alicent is probably one of my favorite characters#but this appears to be coming at the expense of doing anything about anyone who isn't rhaenyra on team blacks#like i had to find out that one of them twins (i can't remember which one because again no characterization) was mad#about aemond claiming vhagar because SHE wanted to claim vhagar through a stan defending that on twitter#shouldn't i be figuring that shit out from the WRITING#like this is literally a writing fail because shit goes sideways for the blacks a lot more than it does for the greens#and i'm supposed to care when these people start dying and right now i don't#this entire episode is about whether or not corlys is going to kick it and i feel no emotion at the prospect whatsoever#and i think it's doubly important because one of the most egregious acts done in the entirety of the dance#(the incident with blood and cheese and what they did to helaena and her children)#is inflicted onto the greens by the blacks and it happens pretty early on and i'm definitely going to feel a lot more about THAT#than about aemond literally jumpstarting the conflict by killing lucerys for no reason#(tho i imagine even if they continue on this track i'm still gonna have thoughts about A Certain Scene entirely cuz of little aegon)#anyway point is i think fleshing out the greens is good but doing so at the expense of fleshing out any of the blacks beyond rhaenyra#is a serious writing flaw that is going to start biting them in the ass real soon
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love the time this therapist lady described my being trans as "challenging gender norms" where at the time the only possibly gnc thing about me was having slightly longer hair than Super Normal Dude Hair (but not even that uncommon like it was alt kid tiktoker fluffy length). and, like, long-ish nails. i exclusively wore camo cargo pants and mens t-shirts. im on t and frequently pass as cis. but okay yeah im sooo nonconforming im such a wild specimen
#posts#doctors and therapists that know ur trans love to say the weirdest shit ever#this was the same woman i had a bizarre convo with that went like#[psychoanalyzing a collage i made] do you feel alientated by the way people treat you for your life choices?#me: what#her: well not everyoens trans#like GIRL WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING TO ME RIGHT NOW?????#also the collage was absolutely not that. i was having fun. it had surreal space themes#callout post south sound behavioral hospital in olympia WA lol. i wish i knew her last name bc i would drop it
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how's feeling more confident about adulting this year going, violet?
so glad you asked. I told myself at the beginning of january that this year I'd be prioritizing both mine and my cat's health (e.g. taking us to the vet/doctor bc it's been years for either of us) and promptly made her a vet appt. now that the vet appt is arriving uhhh next week I'm realizing I really need to also make myself that doctor's appointment I guess? uh?? fuck!
#doctors cw#medical cw#my previous gp retired last summer but I hadn't seen her in years before that anyway#I could see a nurse practitioner at that same practice#or I could go with one of the ppl my boss recommended#or one of the docs I found googling for fat-friendly providers near me#so now I have too many options and am overwhelmed#I know I need to go to the doctor#it's been multiple years + I am getting older + want to take better care of myself#specifically I would like to get (back) into (long distance) biking which I haven't been doing on account of My Joints#something Is Wrong with them and I need to get it checked out#but there's like a 95% chance that any doctor is going to start and end that conversation at 'you need to exercise more/lose weight'#never mind that I want to get the joints looked at so I *can* exercise because right now things hurt#anyway this isn't me looking for advice unless you have a specific GP rec for my area#e.g. only if you know where I live#I'm just venting bc it's so frustrating as a process#also lmao @ me for getting my cat's medical care sorted out before my own#classic! but also there's a vet literally walking distance from my apt. so that made the 'where to take her' choice easier#I've put in an appt rec for one doc. but now I'm second guessing that so back to the drawing board I suppose#sigh.
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yoink don't read smile
#feel like venting so dmm#negative#rant#vent#etc#etc etc#etc etc etc#okay hopefully now if you're reading#its bc you pressed the ...#relax#anyways feeling incredibly inadequate#maybe insecure is the better way to put it. i'm just not feeling good. tired. and like i'll always be a second choice#but the thing is is that that insecurity is rooted in reality and i am. second and third and fourth choice. i like to act delusional but#for my own mental health i have to be firmly grounded in my own identity and feelings about where i stand with others#i shouldn't make friends. i have problems with jealousy and i'm still not convinced i'm not going to end up on the right side of a bullet#i also think there's something wrong w me. but i can't go to a doctor. no insurance. and i'm not paying#made the grueling realisation my dad isn't enough to want to stay alive. good thing i still have angelo#i'm just tired man#and sick of this life#sick of this world#sick of feeling. unloved.#want to ghost everyone again and start anew#or maybe just. finish the job
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Note: the 2nd part for this. fem!reader. cheating. i didn’t think you would like it so much, but since you did, here’s part two.
•••
Maybe if he watched you close enough, if he kept an eye on you while he was near, Simon would get the answers he was looking for. All he wanted was a glimpse into your mind, a glint in your eyes that would give away why you’d spent those nights by his side without saying anything about it.
The mission was slowly coming to an end, and he had overheard you and Johnny talk about your plans for your time home. The Scotsman offered to go on a short trip with you to Rome, visiting the city you’d read so much about in the past year or so. Going there was a promise you made to yourself on New Year’s Day and he was more than happy to help make it happen.
“Have you introduced her to your family?” Simon asked Johnny one evening when they went out for a drink.
The younger man gave him a confused look, but once the lieutenant motioned towards the corner of the bar where you were deep in a conversation with Laswell, his lips formed a flat line and he nodded a few times. “Yeah, well, I mentioned her once to my sister, and the next thing I know, my mother’s blowing up my phone. I’d rather keep her away from this insanity,” he explained.
“Wise choice.”
He hated this. He hated to know that Johnny was dating you, he hated to keep up this nice conversation with him, all while he was struggling to find out why you cared about him back then. His mind was full of stupid ideas again, that maybe you weren’t that deeply in love with the fellow sergeant. What if he was just your backup plan? What if the one you truly wanted was him?
Fucking hell. He was truly losing his grip.
“I’m going back to the base.”
Simon looked to the side, only to find you standing there with this adorable warm smile on your perfect, kissable lips. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Johnny taking your hand, his fingers lacing with yours before he raised it to his mouth to place a soft kiss on it.
He definitely didn’t have the right to be upset about it. Yet, he felt a pang of jealousy, and he was maybe even offended by the way Johnny’s blue eyes shined when he looked at you. His mind was telling him it should be him, even though he knew it was against the regulations.
“Let me finish my drink and I’ll walk you back,” Johnny said, but you just shook your head and told him he should take his time, have fun, and maybe he should talk to the others too. “You think I’m ignoring them? Well, I do spend a lot of time in the Lt’s company, that’s true,” he mused.
After he took a glance at the empty glass next to him, Simon had an idea. “I’m done for today anyway, I can go with her if you don’t want her to go alone,” he offered.
While Johnny seemed happy that he was kind enough to go with you, you looked hesitant. Unsure. Damn, if he didn’t know any better he would’ve said you looked scared for a moment. But why would you be scared? He didn’t do anything that could scare you.
In the end you agreed, so the two of you were soon out on the street, walking side by side. The need to reach out and take your hand poisoned Simon’s mind, and he decided to stuff his hands into the pockets of his jacket instead. He glanced over at you every so often, enjoying the view that he wouldn’t see for a few weeks at least.
“Why did you stay by my side in the infirmary while I was recovering?” he suddenly asked, his eyes fixed on you to see your facial expression.
And sure enough, at first you looked shocked. “What do you mean?” you inquired innocently.
With a sigh, Simon came to a halt and grabbed your wrist to make you stop as well. “I saw you there. And the doctor confirmed that you spent every night there with me while I was knocked out.”
“Look, it’s—”
“Why? I need to know,” he pressed on.
You buried your fingers into your hair as you spinned on your heels to turn away from him. “I don’t know, I just didn’t want you to be alone,” you admitted.
Once he took a deep breath, he was quick to blow it out. “So you stayed out of pity?”
“No! I mean… God, Ghost, I don’t know, okay? It just didn’t feel right to let you lie there on your own, I didn’t want you to wake up alone, and—”
He shouldn’t have done it, but it felt so good. Because Simon launched forward, his big palm placed on the back of your neck as his lips crashed into yours. At first you were frozen from surprise, but then you returned his kiss, lips moving against each other in perfect sync. He had been waiting for this for so long that he couldn’t even believe it was happening.
He was only pulled back to reality by your voice after you pulled away and took a few steps away from him. “What the hell are you doing?” you asked. “Fuck, what the hell am I doing?”
“It’s okay, we can always pretend it never happened,” he said with an aching heart.
“You don’t get it, do you?” When Simon shrugged and shook his head, you walked back to him and poked his chest with your index finger. “I’m with Johnny, this is totally against the rules, and no matter how badly I always wanted to know what it would be like to kiss you, this can’t happen again. But I know it happened and it’s going to torture me now.”
With a gulp, Simon nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me,” he said with a sigh.
To his surprise, you put a hand on his now masked cheek, a move so gentle that he was beginning to get very confused. And when you pulled down his mask, things got even more confusing, because you stood on your toes and kissed him again. This time you let yourself go, your fingers grabbing a fistful of his hair as you moaned against his lips.
“We should get going,” you said once you let him go and pulled his mask back to its place.
“I don’t understand what’s going on.”
Instead of answering, you flashed a smile at him, making his life a living hell by playing an innocent angel. But then you curled your finger to make him come a little closer. “Neither do I. But we will have to figure it out.”
(part 3)
#ghost#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#john soap mctavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#soap#soap x reader#modern warfare#mw2#mw3#call of duty
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The Things I Never Said: Part 2
Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader
Summary: upon learning about your pregnancy simon thinks there are things he needs to take care of.
Word Count: 1.2k
Tw: Angst, fluff, hurt with a lot of comfort, banter. The task force is there for you💞 i think that's it✨
A/N: here it is, i never planned a second part so forgive me if it's not as good! Still hope you like it. Already working on a request that's similar to this one🐸✨ thank you so much for all the support. Reblogs and comments are appreciated! Remember english isn't my first language, corrections are welcome🩵
Masterlist✨ | Part 1 | Part 3
Simon pulls you closer to his body, one arm draped over your form and hand resting on your stomach. The storm is raging outside, the thunder startles you every five minutes. You stay there in complete silence as the realization of this whole thing settles in your minds. He wants you to be safe now more than ever that's why when he's reliving the events of the day it hits him. He had thought the worst, that you were abandoning him, that you got tired of him. Simon would never say this to you but losing you would be the end of him. Enraged and with his heart racing he had hopped on his motorcycle. The soft caressing of his fingers stops abruptly, body going rigid behind you. You turn your face in worry.
"Simon?" You call him. You were beginning to fall asleep. "What is it?"
"That fuckin' muppet." He snarls. "I was so caught up in you leaving that I'd forgotten he hit you. That cunt... fucking Christ." He sits. "Let me see." He lifts your shirt just above your belly with gentle hands.
"Love, I'm... it's fine." Simon sucks in a sharp breath as his eyes land on the bruised area of your skin.
"What did the doctor say?" He demands, eyes somber.
"She said i should stay in bed for a few days and to not lift heavy things or you know just... overwork myself."
Simon rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands, disgruntled.
"This is on me... my bloody fault"
"Hey, stop now." You stand up, coming to a sitting position to mirror his stance. "You didn't know." Soft hands fall on both sides of his face. "I should've told you before this happened, if anything this is on me."
"If something happened to you i would never forgive myself, kid. Lie down. You need to rest. I'll be here when you wake up."
-
Simon's been waiting for this day since the incident. You're still at home, recovering from what could've ended with you in a hospital bed and a broken heart.
"You sure about this, Sir?" Gaz asks, worried about what might happen. "It's just training right?"
"Just training." Simon's eyes are set on that bastard. Craning his neck he steps on the sparring mat. As much as he wanted to go find him and kill him he couldn't do such thing. But after the images that flooded his mind made him realize how dangerous it had been. What could potentially have happened the rage within him is boiling his blood. And now he needs somebody to pay the price. Choices have consequences and he nearly had a painful one. If he had insisted just more...
Breathing harshly he looks him in the eye. Poor muppet doesn't know what's coming for him. He stands there confidently, thinking he has a chance against Ghost. Not Simon, the man only she gets the chance to see.
This is Ghost about to fight.
-
For some reason you decided to stop by the local pastry shop and bring something for the task force. You're feeling much better so that's why you're walking down the corridor of the military compound. With a shirt that's nearly too oversized a pair of combat boots and a cap. You figured you could have these outside of the base and enjoy a nice day with your teammates. You missed them already. Since Simon had been reluctant to leave your side, and you loved it that's for sure, but he wouldn't let you do much as simple tasks like washing the dishes or doing the laundry.
Walking past the doors you're greeted with loud cheering and yelling at the two men in the middle of the mat. Your smile quivers until you process the scene in front of you. Not surprised, not worried. He's gonna be just fine. The other poor boy... Price is the first to notice you, approaching you in three long strides. He had decided to stop by and watch, that's how they sort things out.
"Here, let me help you with that." He takes most of the desserts from your hands, scrutinizing your features with slight concern. Your eyes glued to Simon's hulking body. "I'm gonna assume he doesn't know you're here. Shouldn't you be resting?"
"I'm not on duty, Captain."
"I'm not asking as your Captain but as a friend."
You turn to face him with the ghost of a smile on your lips.
"I'm feeling better so I wanted to see you all, maybe we could have these together as soon as Simon is done with his personal grudge."
Price chuckles. Reluctant to see the rest of the fight, you keep talking to John until it comes to an end. More cheers and clapping echoing around the place. You take a quick glance and get a glimpse of the younger soldier limping while he plops down on a near bench, his teammates gathered around him holding a towel out for him to clean up his face. Footsteps approach you and Price, Simon's frowning behind the mask you can tell by the way the corner of his eyes wrinkle.
"Hey little lady!" Soap greets you with a big smile, hugging you tightly. "Heard you got all knocked up!"
"For fucks sake, Johnny!" Gaz scolds him. "Have some more respect for the girl."
Johnny rolls his eyes feigning annoyance letting Kyle hug you too.
"Don't bet mad at him. We all know why he had to do it." He whispers before pulling away.
When Simon joins you, you're aware of what's coming.
"You're out of bed." He points out, blankly.
"It's been almost a week. As long as I don't lift heavy things I'll be alright. Remember?" You speak back. You reach out for his hand and intertwine your fingers with his. The rest of the team silently walks away to the outside giving you some privacy. Simon studies you, all of you. There's a spark of worry in his blue eyes that you don't like. "Don't worry about me anymore."
He pulls you closer, arms wrapping around your shoulders as he inhales deeply.
"Is that my shirt, doll?" He asks in a hushed tone. You chuckle, burying your face in his chest.
"I missed you, and it smells like you." Simon prompts you softly to start walking outside and join the rest. "You're not hurt, are you?" You stare up at him.
"Don't you worry about me, he wasn't able to land one single hit, love."
You pull him down kissing over the black balaclava where his lips would be.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not telling you Simon." You sigh.
"I understand now why you didn't, kid. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself for not making you feel safe enough to tell me. If anything I'm to blame."
"Is there any chance I may touch your belly?" Soap asks as soon as you sit down next to him.
"Yes." You reply with a wide smile.
"No." Simon growls at the same time.
"Jesus! I suppose that naming the child after me is also off the table?"
"Absolutely."
A round of laughs echoing around and along the backyard. Your eyes scanning every person gathered in this very moment. Loyalty, admiration, respect and love.
A family of your own that would soon get a new addition.
"What if it's a beautiful girl?" Gaz interrogates.
Everyone goes silent.
"Fucking hell." Simon whispers.
He's fucked.
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mwii#cod#cod mw2#cod x reader#cod ghost#cod mw22#simon ghost x reader#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost imagine#john price x reader#soap mactavish x reader#gaz x reader#call of duty ghost simon riley#cod simon ghost riley#fanfic
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Mimming from Singapore
A couple months ago I received an email from Mimming's person in Singapore. Mimming is an almost 40 year old teddy bear, and she's been very well loved... and hugged.
This is what Mimming looked like when she was young:
And this is what she looked like at the start of 2023:
As you can see, she lost a lot of weight and fur from hugs over the years. Her eyes have cataracts (you'll see those better later), her nose is dangling due to muzzle shrinkage, and she has some pretty significant wounds she usually keeps under her shirt. But she's still a very cuddly bear with an endearing expression.
Her person was hoping to get Mimming recovered in new fur, so she could be hugged and have adventures for at least 40 more years. A new nose and new eyes were under consideration, and we agreed starting with a spa (especially since her stuffing was so compressed, was probably in order. So... Mimming found a flight with her buddy Little Mimming to keep her company (you'll see her later) and headed across the Pacific to CA. While Mimming is well travelled, this was a first solo Pacific flight, and so it was bit scary, hence the company. It actually took less than a week for her to arrive!
She started with her bubble bath, that way new fur would match her cleaned fur color.
You can see her cataracts, particularly in her right eye, and how loose and chipped her nose is here.
Next was deciding if she would get a new nose and eyes, or keep her originals. Turns out, there were many nose options. Smooth like nose, flocked/velvety, size differences:
Her person opted for a new, velvety, triangular nose. For her eyes, there was really only one option, new or not. I can usually get pretty good color matches, but Mimming's eyes had also faded, so new eyes would be a touch brighter. Once eyes or a nose come out, they can't go back in, and with recovering it's best to remove them before recovering, so this was a decision that needed to be made before fur choice. Here's the eye option next to her original eye:
Mimming's person opted for two new eyes. We agreed to preserve her old eyes and nose in her heart with a bit of her stuffing. But first, she needed new fur. Here were some of the white fur options:
Mimming's person went with the thick white faux fur, and surgery proceeded. For her brown patch, I had furs to match all of the white fur options, so we were all set there.
Here's her heart being made and installed:
And here are the first photos of Mimming in all new fur. She still has open seams, so her chubbiness can be adjusted:
While she sits naturally like in her baby photos, she can also lay flat like she could when she arrived. Chubbiness approved, Mimming got dressed and went outside for a photo shoot. She was well traveled, but had never been to California, and she wanted some photos as souvenirs. Little Mimming joined her for the photo shoot (those were the first tulips of the season):
And those adorable knitted overalls? Those are Mimming's regular travel clothes that she arrived in. Good thing that knit stretches. I particularly liked the little teddy bear buttons to hold the straps.
Mimming and Little Mimming flew home and again, it was a fast trip, just 5 days! Here they are safe and sound, albeit a little jet lagged, with their friends:
Her person wrote:
Thank you so much!! She looks amazing! We are so happy we got to spend the rest of our lifetime with her - another 40+ years!! Thank you Doctor Beth for taking great care of her. You’re such a blessing to all of us! Praying for your good health and good life. Stay happy and blessed!
#stuffed animal repair#teddy bear repair#teddy bears#stuffed animals#stuffed animal cleaning#teddy bear cleaning#teddy bear clothes#mimming#singapore
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In Defense of Feedism
I was absolutely struck when I read @fatliberation‘s beautiful, vulnerable post the other day. They always have brilliant ideas and they show unfailing grace and kindness to everyone, despite a ton of rude, ill-informed backlash (I would 100% recommend following them).
I can’t stop thinking about the reactions to that post and how incredibly strange it is to have to tiptoe around feedism (to use an umbrella term) in a movement that is supposed to be centered around ending the oppression of fat people.
I can understand why fat people who are not feedists would be weary or even repulsed by this kink. From the outside it may seem degrading and manipulative that the language and insults used against fat people are replicated in the bedroom. It is also harmful to be fetishized when you do not want to be fetishized, both in real life and online.
But these are the only points I’ve heard against feedism that I consider to be a legitimate argument in the discourse of fat liberation, as these are the only claims against feedism I’ve come across that are not based in fatphobia. If you are in favor of fat liberation, then you must see fatness as morally neutral. Therefore, the choice to gain weight is not inherently “good” or “bad,” it is instead a matter of autonomy– a right that should be granted to everyone, regardless of size.
The major issue with feedism is the same issue that permeates all kink and, by extension, all sexuality: consent. There are feedists, particularly feeders, who fetishize all fat people, regardless of their wishes; feedists who try to force fat people to participate in kink with or without their knowledge or permission. This is abhorrent behavior; there are no excuses for it. But the problem here is a violation of consent and not the kink itself. The unethical practice of kink does not make the kink unethical. And while feedees are often disregarded in discussions of feedism and fat liberation (which I have already talked about in depth here), there are most assuredly fat feedees, like myself, who are fully consenting to fat fetish play.
While I can only speak for myself, I know that I am not the only person who developed this kink because of weight-related trauma. When you grow up fat, when you are forced to go to Weight Watchers at seven years old, your brain comes to associate fat as taboo and taboo as sexy–but it goes beyond an attraction to something risky or frowned upon.
I live my life as a fat woman; I am fat at the doctor’s office and fat in tiny airplane seats and I am especially fat as a feedee. No matter if I’m engaging with my kink or not, I am fat and I don’t get to stop being fat outside of my bedroom. Out of all of the scenarios where I am existing in my fat body, engaging in kink play is the only one where I am experiencing pleasure because of my body, not despite it. It’s arousing to be praised for the thing that once made you hate yourself. It’s arousing to engage with something you fear or that has harmed you in a safe, controlled context where you have all the power to make it stop.
What anti-feedist fat liberationists need to understand is that feedism is, at its core, a resistance to fatphobia. When you see things that are typically fatphobic in feedist play– terms like “pig,” “cow,” “tubby,” etc. and comments about being “out of shape” or “ruined” by fat– it is not a replication of weight stigma, but a subversion of it. Feedism takes the harmful stereotypes of fatness and robs them of their power by putting them in a new context; a context where fatness is so desirable that feedists want more of it. By using the language and misconceptions of fatness to give and receive pleasure instead of to oppress, feedism not only creates a safe space to heal from fatphobic trauma, but it empowers fatness– it empowers fat people, which is supposed to be the goal of fat liberation.
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