#do you think kids don’t fucking grow up and become adults with this shit
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Cyborg was such a good friend for this
#please don’t argue with me#sorry but this is what Jake should’ve been doing instead of saying ‘you just have to make her realize she wants to go to the movies with you#like it’s not the same situation at all but friends don’t let friends etc#I will never understand why they wrote him encouraging that#and yeh pb is a villain for a lot of things#but she is not a villain for assuming a 12 year old’s crush wasnt serious#literally if a 12 year old flirted with me I wouldn’t know they were flirting#and I’m a 24 year old human not a goddamn 800 year old piece of gum#like do you know how desensitized you would get to romantic advances with her life#let alone it’s a goddamn human child the thought would never occur to her#maybe it was evil to block him and fp but it has literally nothing at all to do with that I swear to god#I’m not even gonna talk abt the goddamn age regression bullshit lmao#bark bark bark#and I’m so tired of being told rape culture in cartoons is not that deep#it’s literally the deepest#do you think kids don’t fucking grow up and become adults with this shit#screaming my goddamn head off it matters!!!!!!!!!!#which is why I appreciate ttg for this#I don’t watch the original show but I don’t care bc in this universe#in this universe starfire married a tentacle monster who was gonna kill her#she was ready to marry a pot of chili#and she is not interested in robin#which is why it’s so important that they never got together#(unless they did in s7 I didn’t watch that shit)#anyway third wheel your friends if you’re worried abt them guys#I know that’s not why cyborg did it probably but whatever#uh#jus talkin#lol
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Brozone Diner thoughts
Honestly i am a really big fan of the fact brozone diner is little angst, don’t even get me wrong i love AUs that are heart wrenching as hell but i also love just running to my own AU and it being pure family fluff with a few crumbs of issues that they handle together.
John Dory is definitely an animal guy in my head and their pet dog Rhonda helps John Dory a lot like. Emotionally. John Dory needs his alone time but still like having his animal companion with him so Rhonda just helps him get through harder days!
I also like thinking about how it was before current brozone diner like. I think John Dory’s perfectionism was something prevalent and Bruce and Clay definitely got the brunt of it 💀 they’re not a boyband so i had to figure how to work it in a diner AU which made me think that John Dory felt validated in receiving 5 star reviews and having regulars. I work in a family business as well and oftentime when im taking a regular’s order, they’ll just ask for my mother who knows exactly what they want and how they want it which I imagine is what also went on with BrozoneDiner. John Dory probably compromised a lot of orders to keep customer satisfaction and made basically new items to keep regulars coming. When Bruce and Clay started working and they didn’t know the customers like John Dory did, and John Dory probably mega stressed when they were just newbies in the family business because of how often they would make first job mistakes. I think Bruce and Clay did resent him for his perfectionism but didn’t resent him as much as they did in Trolls 3 original storyline cause for every mistake they made, as much as John Dory would obnoxiously scold them for it, John Dory always protected them from angry customers and shit. A lot of this AU is based in my almost 10+ years working in family business and there are times i fucked up and i was pissed for being screamed at for simple mistakes but my parents who yelled at me are also the same parents who made sure no customer would yell at me and i think that would help settle some of Bruce’s and Clay’s frustrations with John Dory since John Dory didn’t really ruin something fun for them like a boy band; John Dory is literally just trying to provide for a family of 6 (Rosiepuff lived with them until she died but she was too old to be working, mostly just oversaw the kids as John Dory worked) They don’t break up and have a reunion in this AU but I imagine Bruce’s and Clay’s issues had to be resolved with time and less of a direct confrontation 💀💀💀 i think they did confront John Dory about it eventually after a few years floyd was born but i dont think it blew over into any extremes like JD, Bruce, or Clay running away or anything. I think John Dory finally relaxed after Bruce and Clay had become adults and Floyd and Branch were on their steady way to a decent future; i think at that point John Dory would have already grown accustomed to the routine of taking care of his younger brothers + handling and managing a diner and by that time Bruce and Clay were experienced in working in the diner and helping ease his worries a lot by contributing to the diner. ORGSUSHDH I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS AU FOR DAYS I HAVE A GOOGLE DOC WHERE I TALK ABOUT ALL OF THE BROTHERS’ PERSPECTIVES GROWING UP AND IM STILL WORKING OUT THE LOGISTICS OF THIS AU CAUSE I STILL WANT IT TO BE REALISTIC BUT IM GONNA SCREAM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
i will not lie when i say a lot of my hyperfixation is directed towards john dory and honestly as much as i try to distribute the drawings i do of BrozoneDiner evenly between the brothers you can very much tell that the AU is john dory centric 💀💀💀
But yeah the crumblike amount of angst in this AU is basically just. Normal real world problems and the diner when it was first handed down to John Dory 👻 other than that i do intend to keep this AU as fluffy as my brain desires and my brain loves familial interaction and silly family business banter.
Anyways i’m so happy people have enjoyed this au as much as i do and any questions/requests are always welcomed! (i need to talk abt this au sosoosos badly i think abt it way too much)
Also this is my first time using tumblr how the fuck does the askbox work i wanna do like a “ask the brothers” thing but i have noooooo fucking clue into anything abt tumblr
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Targaryen-Royce!Darling
“As their child grows up I think Daemon and Rhea will come to the unwanted realization that their child is the dangerous mix of both of them. And neither particularly likes that the other is so prominently ingrained in their child’s development. But that doesn’t make them care for their child any less, if anything it makes both of them want to further bring out their own behaviorism and tendencies out of their child.”
That’s true, their bby will probably become a legendary warrior and dragonrider once they’re older- as well the lord/lady of Runestone since they’re the only child and heir (and they’d rather keep it that way). But look at their parents and don’t think they aren’t raising another lord/lady/conquerer in their hands. They are their most treasured pride and joy after all.
But I think they’d be a mama’s bby for a brief time whenever Daemon has his quarrels with his brother and the council at King’s Landings. Rhea would be spoiling them while he does that and let’s not forget- she’d be shit talking about Daemon and how they’re the only good thing that came out of him.
And Daemon would definitely be lavishing them with expensive gifts alongside with a dragonrider saddle and tell them he’d happily them how to ride their dragon when it’s time someday. But he definitely takes them for rides on Caraxes often.
Since they move back and forth from King’s Landing and to the Vale, I can only imagine the tension increases between both parents. But what would happen if they’re darling we’re to get abducted for ransom? A temporal formed alliance just to get them back unharmed? Maybe. I think they would considerate for their bby sakes but decided ‘fuck that’ and decided to work separately with their own allies.
I can see Rhaenyra happy to have a playmate- even if they go and come back way too often. Because Rhea usually comes back on horse to King’s Landing pissed off with some Vale soldiers behind her to take back her bby because Daemon keeps taking them to king’s landing without her knowledge. At least she gets to be entertained by witnessing two parents verbally fighting over her favourite cousin as Viserys tries to meditate the situation but fails to proceed.
As for the three-headed dragon that hatched when their precious darling was a happy toddler; imagine if it became the next Balerion the Black Dread but much bigger. It’s clingy with the darling and let’s just say it keeps swatting everyone with it’s tail whenever they tried holding their future dragonrider. Daemon just gets offended at it while Rhea just angrily responds by setting back at the growing dragon before quickly taking her child.
Poor Darling is stuck in a hostile environment between two parents who detests each other and practically hovers over them 24/7. Not the most ideal life to live in but at least they get a dragon out of it. 😂
Oh yeah. Rhea and Dameon’s child would be the epitome of a fighter, even at a young age. You can’t tell me their child wasn’t beating the shit out of other kids or even adults for doing something that the Reader didn’t agree with. Unlike Daemon though, his child would have more of a moral code and honor to go by having been primarily raised by Rhea and House Royce/House Arryn in general. As much as both Daemon and Rhea adore their child, they’re both well aware of what their child can be capable of especially once they’re older. And with a dragon at their side, let alone a massive three-headed one at that, their child is able to up and leave whenever and to wherever with not much to stop them. The most that can be done is Daemon going after his child but even then he’d most likely turn it into a bonding adventure to spend with his bby and may very well never bring their child back to Rhea, choosing to instead take them to the free cities and reside there with them all to himself. And Rhea would absolutely go berserk if that were to ever happen. She would march to King’s Landing and demand that Viserys do something to get her child back and have Daemon never ever be able to interact with her bby again. Not that Viserys would go that far but he would feel obligated to bring the Reader home to their mother.
With all the quarreling and hostility between Rhea and Daemon, I could very well see Viserys having the Reader reside at King’s Landing where both their parents would have to come to visit them instead of having the Reader being pulled and forced to the Vale or wherever Daemon’s been staying. This would be the best thing for Rhaenyra to get to have her beloved cousin by her side for longer than usual. It may have even been due to Rhaenyra’s desperate want for her cousin to be closer or even Aemma’s concern over the hostile environment that the Reader was being brought up in on either side that really got Viserys to take some form of initiative. He may even think that if his brother’s child is at King’s Landing then it may get Daemon to behave or act accordingly, as if. If anything, Daemon may act out even more than before to show off for his kiddo and thus causing even more trouble than usual.
I wholeheartedly see Daemon and Rhea’s child being extremely close to their dragon. They do absolutely everything together while the dragon is still a small, and that doesn’t necessarily stop when the dragon continues to grow and grow bigger than any dragon seen before. If anything the dragon’s need for space outside of the Reader’s bedchambers or any dragon keep would only lead to more adventurous behavior on the Reader’s part. They would do anything to be close to their dragon, even if their mother vehemently forbids it. More often then not the entire Vale would be thrown into a frenzy when the Reader is no where to be seen only to be found cuddled up with their massive dragon who is so tenderly curled around them in a protective and comforting manner. The only thing is trying to bypass the dragon to get to the Reader, it certainly doesn’t help having all three heads glaring down their snouts at the party who’s come to retrieve its’ precious dragon rider just daring them to try and do something.
If anything were to ever happen to Daemon and Rhea’s child, there would be a consideration on both parts to work together but it wouldn’t last very long. If anyone is going to bring their bby home it was going to be them separately. But they wouldn’t even have to do much given that the Reader’s dragon would be the first one to find and reunite with them, causing absolute havoc and catastrophe in its wake trying to reach the side of it’s beloved rider again.
#anxious answers#yandere daemon targaryen#yandere rhea royce#yandere house of the dragon#yandere house of the dragon concept#yandere game of thrones concept#yandere concept
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He aint heavy deleted scene
i couldn't decided whether to make chapter 22 Dio or Hermes' pov, and i eventually settled on Hermes, but here's Dio's pov if you still want to read it! Hermes' pov can be read here
Hermes sighs, rubbing his face as he looks at Dio, probably thinking about how much he regrets taking him in, he bets. He keeps his arms crossed, analyzing the wood grain as he kicks the leg of the table. It feels good to move, to take out his anxiety on something when a tongue lashing is imminent. Maybe a real lashing. He doesn’t know. He’s only known Hermes for like, a year.
“So,” Hermes says, when he feels that Dio has squirmed long enough, “you snuck out to drink, huh? I gotta be honest, I didn't expect that behavior for a few more years.”
It’s a joke, and Dio takes it, smirking as he continues to kick at the leg. There’s a cup of water on the table, and he likes seeing how it ripples.
“Last night wasn’t even the first time you snuck out, huh?” Hermes sighs.
“You’re such a heavy sleeper, dude. Like, it’s almost impressive. One time I made myself popcorn at midnight and you didn’t even stir.”
Hermes makes a face like he’s suppressing a smile, and he’s not happy about it, “have you been drinking, every time you’ve been out?”
Dio stays quiet. He just feels like shit. He wants Hermes to get to the point.
“Do you know how bad drinking is for kids?” Dio can’t help but roll his eyes.
“Oh my god, yeah, it’s bad for your development, you’re gonna become an addict when you grow up, whatever, I've heard it all before.”
“This isn’t a fucking joke, Dio!” Hermes snaps, and Dio jumps at the sudden volume, his heart stuttering, “even if you stopped now your life could be affected forever– god, not even getting into brain development, you’re wandering around the city of Athens drunk by yourself! Not even adults feel safe doing that! Do you have any idea the kind of risk you’re taking, every night, just to get drunk?”
He hunches his shoulders, his face flushing. Hermes is so overreacting, he was fine. He’d always stuck to the touristy places, he knew not to talk to strangers, he’s not a child.
He stays quiet as Hermes looks at him, not wanting to satisfy him with an answer. Not even knowing what to say.
Hermes sighs, letting his hand fall on the table, “how long have you been drinking?”
Dio shrugs.
“Since you moved in with Dad?”
He can’t help but look up at hermes in surprise, but he quickly catches himself, looking away.
Hermes smiles, but it’s sad, “it’s easy to drink with dad, isn’t it? He’s so damn careless, he just leaves out his drinks everywhere. He even asks you to bring him a drink, and he never comments on it when you grab two.”
Dio stares at Hermes with wide eyes.
Hermes lets out a huff of air that could be a laugh “yeah, I know what it’s like. I never really got into drinking. Just wasn’t my scene. I’ve seen our other siblings fall into it, though. You should’ve seen Apollo when he was a teen, oof.”
Apollo. One of his siblings. He’s still not exactly sure how many of them he has. It’s not like he’s met any other than Hermes. They don’t give a shit about him.
Still, he can’t help but desperately want to hear more about him.
“You know, Apollo and Artemis, they were also like you. Their Mom also died. Hera dumped her in the middle of nowhere when she promised to give her a ride to the hospital.”
“Oh,” Dio breathes. His stepmom never liked him that much. He’s still stunned that she would do something like that.
“Yeah. Hera swears up and down she thought that she had her phone with her, but it doesn’t even matter what the truth is, the result was the same,” Hermes sighs, “when they found out, Artemis just withdrew in herself, stayed out of the house as much as possible, but Apollo,” Hermes shrugs, “he basically did the same as you. I remember once he told me that it was because drinking was the only thing that made him feel okay. Made him able to stand Hera’s presence.”
That’s… almost like him.
“And, you know, after a while, he couldn’t not drink. He’d get sick when he couldn’t. Get all shaky, and nauseous. Sometimes he hallucinated.”
His heart pounded in his ears, matching the pounding in his head.
“... I thought there was something wrong with me,” Dio breathes. He’d thought that he was crazy, that he had some sort of undiscovered disease that could only be fixed with alcohol. That he’d be sent off to a psych ward the moment he breathed a word. “What– what happened to him?”
“He’s doing pretty good for himself, right now,” Dio lets out a slow breath, tension that he hadn’t even noticed receding almost immediately, “don’t get me wrong, it got pretty bad for him. He got into some other stuff, and he had to hit rock bottom to realize that he needed to change. He quit everything, got sober, and now he’s a doctor. Or a musician? Man, he’s changed his career so many times I can't keep track. The point is, he’s happy. I think he’s like, fifteen years sober now.”
“Wow,” Dio murmurs, “and he didn’t, like– he got better?” whenever he tried to quit, he thought he was dying. No, he didn’t think it. He knew he was. He needed to drink. How could anyone get better?
Hermes blinks, “what do you mean?”
Dio shrugs, feeling deeply uncomfortable, “... I get sick when I don't drink. Like, really, really sick. I thought I was dying,” his eyes sting with tears and Hermes leans forwards, something like concern in his expression.
“No, no, no, no, I promise, Dio, you’re not. It’s just withdrawal. Your body’s become dependent on drinking to function, so when alcohol is taken away, there’s an adjustment period. Withdrawal absolutely sucks, but you get through to the other side, okay?”
“Okay,” Dio mumbles.
Hermes sighs, “how much have you been drinking?”
“Not as much recently.”
“Before you moved in with me?”
Dio shrugs, “I would like… pretty much everything I drank was a drink of some kind.”
“Okay,” Hermes sighs, “and now?”
“Like, I dunno. It depended on what I had. At least a few every day.”
“Okay,” Hermes rubs his face, “we got some options for what to do, here. You obviously can’t keep drinking–”
Dio’s scowls.
“Dio,” Hermes sighs, “did you not listen to me talk about all the dangers?”
“Half the dangers would be cut if you gave me alcohol,” he mumbles, shrugging his shoulders.
“I’m obviously not gonna do that.”
“Whatever,” Dio shrugs, “I'm gonna move back in with Dad soon, anyway, so what do you care? I’ll just start drinking again.”
“You think I'm gonna let you move back in with Dad?” Dio blinks, snapping his head to look at Hermes. There’s no sign of a joke on his face.
“what?
“Letting kids drink is child abuse. Child neglect, at the very least. They won’t let you go back, even if Dad wins the case.”
Child neglect? It’s really not that serious… right?
“… won’t I… go to foster care?” he mumbles. That’s always what he figured, if dad lost the case. Hermes wouldn’t want to deal with him full time.
“Not when you have a willing guardian, sitting right here,” Hermes smiles, but Dio’s face feels paralyzed.
“… oh,” for so long, he’d been working on the assumption that he wouldn’t be staying here. That it was all temporary, as everything has been since Mom died. It’s trippy as hell to suddenly have to consider like, staying here. Permanently. There’s no way.
“Yeah. And since letting you drink isn’t an option, we need to figure out the best way to help you stop.”
If he stays here, he’ll have to stop drinking, and the thought is so horrible he can’t help the way his face crumples,“why? Why do I have to stop?”
“Dio–”
“It’s the only thing that makes me feel better! I can’t– I can't breathe when I don't drink, I can't do anything because I just feel so– empty. Drinking makes it go away, Hermes, I need to drink.”
“That’s grief, bud,” Hermes sighs, “it’s the– worst feeling in the world. It’s so tempting to just take something to make it go away, huh?”
Dio nods frantically, wiping away tears.
“That doesn’t work, though. Drinking to avoid feeling it is, like,” he waves his hand, “like ignoring a wound. It feels like it’s helping, it’s nice to pretend that it isn’t there, but it is, and it’s not gonna get any better, not until you deal with it.”
Dio’s tears are now coming so fast that wiping them away is futile, “but I don't know how.”
“I can help you, Dio, there’s people who can help. You have to do all the heavy lifting yourself, but there’s people who can give you the tools. Give it time, and work, and sometime in the future, it’ll start feeling like you can breathe again. But the first step is to stop drinking.”
He can’t stop himself, and he covers his face as he lets out a little sob. He wants a hug, but he doesn’t want hermes. He wants his mom. He wants to go back to before all this. Before he started drinking. Before any of this ever happened.
Hermes stays where he is, and eventually, Dio manages to get himself under control. He has to spend a good minute breathing, before he can finally bring himself to ask, “what are the options?”
Hermes lets out a big, almost relieved sigh, “the first one is, you can go to rehab– it’s not like how it is in the media!” Hermes hastily says at Dio’s expression, “Apollo went, he can tell you what it’s like, if you want? You’d be there for about a month, but they can give you great tools to help you deal with your grief, and they can help you through the withdrawals. There’ll be lots of people there in the same position as you who understand what it’s like as well.”
He… kind of likes the idea of meeting Apollo, but he’ll probably hate him, so maybe not. He doesn’t like the idea of another change. Staying in another place, with people he doesn’t know. What if at the end, Hermes just doesn’t pick him up? What would they do with him then?
Dio crosses his arms, “what’s the other option?”
Hermes sighs, “I guess… the other option is that you try to stop by yourself. Quitting instantly is dangerous, so we’d have to wean you off onto lighter drinks to make the withdrawal less intense. I’ll find you a therapist as well, and they can help you with it.”
Dio nods, “I like that one a lot more.” he’d get to stay here, at least.
Hermes frowns, “the downsides are that you have a lot more opportunity to relapse–” Dio blinks at the strange word, “slip back into drinking. You know how to sneak out, you know that I'm a heavy sleeper. It’ll be way too easy for you. There won’t be anyone else who gets it, either. You’ll just have me, a therapist, and maybe Apollo, if he’s up for it.”
“I want to do that one,” Dio insists, and Hermes sighs.
“Okay. but– Dio, you only get a certain amount of chances, okay? If you relapse too many times, then that means it’s not working, and that we need to try rehab, okay?”
“Okay,” Dio mumbles. Would he be able to keep himself from relapsing? Already, all he wants is another drink, so he doesn’t feel hungover anymore. How will he feel in a few days?
“Okay,” Hermes sighs, “I love you, kid.”
Dio blinks, “you haven’t even known me for more than a year.”
“And I still love you. Crazy how that works, huh?”
Dio looks down at his lap, his face feeling hot. Hermes is lying, obviously, you can’t love someone that fast, but–
It’s still really nice to hear it.
“You don’t need to say it back, or anything. Just know that I got your back, no matter what, okay? I’m gonna help you with this.”
“Okay,” Dio sighs, “I'm really tired.”
“Yeah,” Hermes huffs, “you’re probably overdue a nap, huh? C’mon, let's see if they’re done talking.”
Right, Hypnos is going through his own talk with his older brother. He hopes he’s okay. He wordlessly follows him out of the room, almost wanting to loop his arm through Hermes’ arm, just like how he did with mom.
He doesn’t. He’s too tired for any of that.
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As a woman who is 30 years old, I’d like to say I think I know a thing or two about myself. I’ve had the “ability to get pregnant “ for 2 decades now and going on my 3rd. I remember vividly when I got my first menstrual cycle my mother was almost a little too happy about it. She went on and on about now being able to create a life and carry inside. For as long as I can remember have never had any want or desire to take care of children or to have my own. I remember saying to her that I did not want to be a “young woman” and did not want to be “able to make a child.” I was 10 at the time and she had just laughed at what I said. And for many years after that, she continued to scoff and roll her eyes at the thought of me not wanting to be a mother.
Growing up I did not like hanging out with children my age. I always wanted to be with the adults. I have never looked at a mother and thought gee I want that. Nothing about motherhood interests me. Not getting pregnant. The act of childbirth. Taking care of the said child. Or dealing with school functions, recitals, games, and or anything to do with child events.
I do not wish any ill or pain to any children. I get mad when I hear or see mistreatment. But do I wish to step into the role to fix it, no.
I grew up with parents that I do not believe should have had children. They were young and children themselves at the time. My mom was pregnant at 18 and again at 19 and again at 21. That always seemed nuts to me.
I remember being forced against my will to take care of my cousins growing up. Did not appreciate. I understand that adults need time but I am not your resident babysitter especially when I was 16 or so when that shit would happen.
Growing up in LV I would always see large families of unruly children and it always upset me. The lack of supervision of the kids I truly did not understand. I know that kids are still learning but as an adult and their parent you should be teaching them right from wrong. Right? Your child should not be screaming at the top of their lungs because you didn’t want to buy them a stupid toy. Your child is not supposed to be climbing up strangers and asking for what they are eating. Don’t you touch them stranger danger???
Kids are gross to me. They shit on themselves. They throw up on themselves. They piss on themselves. They always get dirty no matter what. They smell. I don’t understand why they are always sticky. It is just not for me.
I do not have the patience nor do I want to gain the patience. I feel for kids the way someone might feel about animals. Some people are not pet-friendly people. Which I get. I am not too crazy about dogs. I prefer dogs over kids. And I prefer cats over dogs.
Just a rant. I got to the point where I am tired of acting like I can just suffer in silence with children around when I can’t. They are too loud for my comfort. Top hyper and active for my comfort. Hate when I catch one just staring at me. Like no. I can not.
I can choose to avoid them as much as possible and that is what I want to do. No offense to any parents. I just feel indifferent to every child.
Now that I have explored social media and just the internet I know that I am not alone. I am a child-free woman who does not like children. Just because I have ovaries and a fucking vagina does not mean I automatically love children and want to step into a role to take care of them and love them.
Plenty of people become parents that should not be. Plenty of people wish to be one but can’t. Life is shitty sometimes. I doubt my thoughts of children will change since I am 30 and it has never floundered but who knows.
I am done faking a smile when your annoying child annoys me. Will I be mean to them no but I will walk away and not engage. I think my patience is at negative at this point in my life.
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Curious of what a modern au with the kids would look like…
Oh Anon don’t make me go there
(I am going there)
Not making designs for them (at the moment >:)) but I will give you some headcanons
Liana
Home girl is on her way to take over the fucking world
Comes from an extremely confusing home life, with her dads splitting up and getting together over and over again, both of them having had other partners during the breakup periods that never really last
In the present she has two dads and an additional step dad. She doesn’t like him that much, but her dads relationship seem more stable with him so she bears with it
Liana lost her leg just as she did in canon, due to frostbite. She got lost in the woods during winter for almost a week, and lost one of her shoes in a hole. She likes to dramatize the story though, to seem cooler
Started her own company at eighteen, and it grew into a multimillion corporation after only two years
She dabbles in a lot of things with her company, everything from movie production to train travel, tech to food items, theme parks to merch, and everything in between. Liana doesn’t calm down until she has control over every major industry in the world
Evil capitalist? Yes but consider this: Sexy evil capitalist lesbian. It makes up for it
She does own a lot of charities too, the majority of which being somewhat bird related, like the preservation of endangered birds, or rehabilitation of birds that have been abused by their owners. She likes birds
Still married to Jassy, her childhood best friend. She spoils her wife absolutely rotten (mostly with anime merch and manga’s), and would give up her entire company for her
Buuuuuut, Jassy hasn’t asked that of her yet, so Double Co. will keep on growing
Wes
Even without the imp genes, he’s still a big fricking boy
I mentioned multiple times that BDubs and Impulse were a bit like beauty pageant moms with Wes. Well…yeah
BDubs and Impulse wasn’t full beauty pageant moms (like those fuckers who like, perform surgeries on their four year olds so they will have fuller lips and shit), but beauty pageants was a huge part of my boy’s childhood, which wasn’t the best thing since he hates the spotlight and when people have their eyes on him. His dads would have stopped signing him up for them if he asked, but he was too nervous to do so, so yeah
But hey, at least my man can play the cello like a champ as an adult, since that was his talent.
He’s studying geology because rocks are cool :)
As an adult is relationship with his dads is…a bit strained, but he’s working through it in therapy
Engaged to his fiancé Jekiv, and has been so for many years now. Both of them are still studying, and even though his best friend (and stepsister’s) rich af wife has offered to handle the budget for the wedding, they want to wait until they can afford it themselves
Still has OCD and a lot of Anxiety, but now there’s at least medicine!
Gertrude
Golden retriever personified
She works out everyday just so she can lift and hug every dog she meets
One of her dads cheated on her other dad when she was little, so she grew up in separate homes. It was alright though, Big B would always bake with her and take her to the dog park, while Ren would tell fantastical stories and play as much dress up as she wanted
So yeah, Gertrude is actually pretty aight in this universe
I imagine Renchanting is some shop her dad owns, maybe either like a bisexual crystal shop or like a costume place, but she probably works part time there
Volunteers at a lot of dog rescue shelters, and has adopted many of them
Is studying to become a vet, but is also practicing writing on the side. She wants to write children’s fantasy novels, about princesses and magic
Is dating Novo, and has been waiting for him to propose for almost six years. She gonna keep on waiting
Johnny
Man is half British half Arizonan, still somehow speaks with a country accent. Only god knows where he got it from, and I don’t even think he does
Apart from more humane features, nothing about Johnny changes. Still an Aromantic icon, still a sweetie, still a rancher at heart, and he can still absolutely shred it on the Banjo
Suffers from mild anemia and asthma. He sometimes struggles to keep up with his friends, especially when they were children, but he always found ways to keep their pace, even if that means he sometimes had to be carried
He absolutely has one of those trucks that he treats as his baby. He’s worked on it for years, he has a name for it (It’s Butternut), he will cry if it’s even slightly scratched, it’s his child and he loves it very much.
Gertrude probably taught him some mechanics to take care of Butternut
Dreams of one day owning a ranch, but that’s a bit away
He probably volunteers and helps out at a lot of stables and riding schools, wrangling horses and whatnot. He’s got a natural talent, what can I say?
Jassy
She still styles her hair in all of those ridiculous anime styles, but now it takes a considerable amount of more hairspray and time
The way she bonded with her dads as a kid was through their favorite medias, so with Etho they would always talk Naruto and anime while with Joel she would always talk Shrek and Harry Potter
Has taken Ninjitsu and parkour classes since she learned how to walk
The only dyed part of her hair is the green streak. She has incredibly pale blonde hair
Married to one of the most successful entrepreneurs ever, and she pulled that bitch by being a fucking weeb
Is extremely into Cosplay, and has a Naruto OC that is Kakashi’s super cool powerful daughter
Has a job in a book store, mostly because she enjoys having something to do during the days. Is a bad employe tho, spends most of the time reading manga or mystery novels
Collects knives and daggers as a hobby because she’s just that bitch
Jekiv
Imagining Jekiv as not a Zombie is actually very difficult
In canon Martyn just kinda dipped, but imma say he stuck around here, so yeah Jekiv grew up with both of his parents. Separated of course, but they were both present
Still, he’s got a lot better relationship with his mom than his dad. They’re more alike
Suffers from Hyperthyroidism, which is the reason behind his skinny figure, his patchy hair, his weak muscles, and his bulging eyes. He’s had it since he was a tween, and he tries to not let it bother him
He gets sunburnt really easily so he rarely goes outside when the sun is shining. He’s pale af
Is studying forensic pathology, and works part time at a morgue. He’s always had a weird fascination with dead bodies, but hey at least he isn’t a serial killer
Would absolutely be a serial killer if he had the skills and strength to do so
Owns over twenty breeds of frog, two of which is poisonous
Has a resting bitch face, but he also is just a straight up bitch sometimes
Novo
Mans still a lil freak
Has Stahl’s ear syndrome and thinks it’s cool as fuck. Usually has his hair tied up to show it off
Bleaches and dyes his hair a new color every month. His hair is permanently damaged because of it, but he’s mostly fine with it
While his parents are on non speaking terms, they’re a lot more healthy than in canon. Novo is well raised and loved, he’s just Like That
Has a freakish resistance to the cold, like, Canadian level resistance, so mans will just lay in in a t-shirt and skirt in the snow while taking a nap
Picks up a new instrument every few weeks. He can’t play any of them, but he likes to find ways to annoy his friends with them
Is studying law, actually. He may not look or act it, but he’s freakishly smart, and he wants to become a prosecutor
Is dating Gertrude, and has been waiting for her to propose for almost six years. He’s gonna keep on waiting
#double life smp#dlsmp#dlsmp fankids#dlsmp children#double life fankids#liana no last name given#wes double sv#gertrude stats diggity dawg#johnathan ‘johnny’ tek#jassy smallishbeans#jekiv inthelittlewood#novo major moon#Scarian#desert duo#impdubs#RenB#team rancher#Solidaritek#Smalletho#Boat Boys#Modern au
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Who tf is Kaito Shinonome (Part 8)
My interpretations/headcanons (cont.):
Dracmon already reached his Adult/Champion stage before meeting Kaito
I actually wanted to include this in a longer post detailing each of the partnerships the kids have with their digimon, but FUCK IT I’m going to write about it here first
Champion stages are called “Adult” stages in the original Japanese, following Rookie stages (“Child” in the original Japanese)
This is meant to symbolize “growing up”
Adult stage digimon tend to… y’know… act like adults compared to the more childlike Child stages
Compare Angemon and Patamon, for one of the more extreme examples
Dracmon already had his Adult stage unlocked, because this reflects the fact that Kaito already had to “be an adult” once in his life (and still kinda does now, with the way he treats Miu “like her dad”)
You could argue that Ryo also had to grow up fast after losing his mother (and possibly Saki, too, with her own complications)
But I think the difference is that Ryo responded to his Life Changing Incident by becoming withdrawn and depressed, while Saki became rebellious and “spoiled” (she’s not actually, but she does what she can to get what she wants)
But Kaito responded by becoming independent, not trusting others to take care of him, and deciding that his own needs were unimportant compared to Miu’s
Another hint is that when Takuma first meets him, he thought Kaito “was an adult”
Does that mean Dracmon evolved randomly one day?? …That would be hilarious, but tbh I don’t know
I don’t know the exact mechanics behind evolution among bonded digimon -- do they need their partner physically with them to evolve? Maybe Dracmon just had it unlocked but couldn’t access it without meeting Kaito?
He just meets Kaito that day in Part 3, and he’s like, “I don’t know why, but I have an intense urge to howl at the moon”
He likes cute things
There’s a dialogue option you can choose where he’ll go on a looong spiel about how adorable he thinks Miu is
Sooo… cute things probably remind him of her, and he loves Miu, so by association, he likes cute things
That has been my scientific analysis thank you for reading
He fell for the fake Dracmon in the waterways at first for like 0.001 seconds until the fake Dracmon talked a bit too much shit with no actual sass, and he was like, “... You’re not Dracmon.”
And proceeded to ignore every other fake until he found the real one
Alternatively, the fake ones just talked shit while the real one offered to help him find Miu (parallel to when they first met?)
The point of the fakes was to distract everyone from finding each other (specifically Shuuji), and he seemed to be doing just fine distracting himself by searching for Miu :^)
There was a period where he and Miu were very close, before drifting apart a bit before the Incident (but in a normal sibling way)
Tbh, I flip-flop in my head about what their relationship was like before the Incident, since we never get anything fully concrete about it
I think it’s obvious they got along at the very least
For now, the impression I get is that they used to be close when they were a few years younger (played games together, teased each other, played pranks on each other), before growing up and getting more interested in their own lives instead of the other’s
And then the Incident happened and made things Very Complicated
In Part 4, when talking to Shuuji about siblings, the original Japanese has Kaito say something along the lines of his and Miu’s personalities not meshing well
The English localization kinda has a similar line? “Maybe she and I just can’t get along.”
Maybe this led to them being unable to connect with each other like they used to when they were younger?
Syakomon mentions in the Harmony route that the ordeal of the kemonogami world made the sibs realize how strained their relationship had become
Implying their relationship had to have been closer than they are now
But that could mean a lot of things…
This might be refuted by the flashback at the beginning of Harmony Part 8, where Miu says that after the Incident, “even Kaito is clingier than usual”
Implying that he was always “clingy”
I’m not sure what the original Japanese says, but the Korean version actually says something different: “and my brother’s sticking to me like never before”
Idk how accurate the Korean translation is, but given the similarities between the two languages, I can’t see many mistranslations happening unless it was a creative decision
This could also have many possibilities: maybe he wasn’t protective over her before? Or maybe he was, but just not to that extent
Given his strong sense of responsibility and general kindness, I feel like the latter’s more likely
But you can be protective without being close, especially in an older-sibling/younger-sibling relationship
This could also explain why he took the Incident so badly and personally -- if he hadn’t been that involved in her life before, he’s trying to overcompensate by being TOO involved
He has a good sense of direction
The basis for this is just that he seems like he would
Also, from the fact he knew the right way to the amusement park from the forest
This could tie into just having good instincts (which he claimed was the reason for the above lol)
Or maybe he’s just good at navigating woodlands due to living by one
Idk I’ve tried navigating forests before and it’s hard, maybe I just suck ):
AAAAND that’s all folks! Hope you enjoyed reading! I might make another post some time in the future because, believe or not, I had even more to say about this loser alksfjdkhfad
I tried to only add headcanons that had SOME basis in canon (whether or not you agree with my interpretation is up to you!), but I might make a post about more silly headcanons that have little to no basis in canon. Some of which might even contradict the things I wrote here, but… Mom said I can do whatever I want so I’m doing whatever I want >:(
I also plan on making a post like this about Miu and Minoru (my other faves) and maybe even the other characters (Aoi and Shuuji have been growing on me) so stay tuned!!
Check out the other parts here:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
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literally most people who watch the ufotable anime first and hate shirou change their perspective about him when they read the vn and i can think of a specific scene contrasted between mediums where this can happen, namely the one where shirou is kidnapped by caster and archer has to go save his ass. the anime makes it look like shirou is this stubborn idiot refusing to admit he’s way in over his head too proud to be helped by a dude he doesn’t like in an effort to be funny. it fails to address an important bit of nuance in his inner world where it’s not just that he doesn’t wanna be helped by a guy he doesn’t like. it’s that he’s a shell of a person constantly throwing away his self-worth in an act of penance for the lives he couldn’t save as a literal child surviving a catastrophe. shirou is fucking terrified of archer getting killed for his sake so he’s telling him “no just leave me to die don’t you get it i can’t let you get hurt to save me that’s just wrong i’m not supposed to come out of this alive”.
but of course archer understands that kind of self-sacrificing nonsense never helped anyone because he lived it as emiya shirou himself. but archer is also so caught up in his self-loathing his natural helpful disposition to help and instruct shirou is kneecapped by that very same predilection for self-destructive penance. that archer is a shirou who is older does not mean he’s a shirou who’s got his shit together and assuming that archer is righteous in his hatred is a mistake people make over and over because the one thing they all miss is archer is trying to commit time-space suicide by killing one of his younger selves. and uh. suicide is bad. very bad. he just doesn’t know what else to do because no one ever told him what “better” looks like and he was in no state of mind to accept it until it killed him.
shirou gets mad that archer thinks along the same lines as caster and it’s not just that archer plays dirty that shirou gets mad at, it’s that archer is a person full of contradictions that says “well, i like to avoid conflict” but also says “avoiding conflict also means pragmatically allowing some people who have done nothing wrong to die”. to shirou that’s the most outrageous thing he’s ever heard. a hero of justice doesn’t sacrifice people. a hero of justice helps everyone equally but that is also mired by the contradiction that a hero of justice needs an evil to fight, so a hero of justice cannot save the evil lest they become evil themselves which is a whole other deal saved for heaven’s feel. and don’t you... agree with that? it’s quite simple. you should help people you can. people who have done nothing wrong don’t deserve to die. a world that treats the opposite as a matter of fact with no protest just isn’t a world that’s okay.
so you’ve got a kid who hates himself but wants to help everyone around him. a kid full of guilt over something he way out of his control who by chance survived when others died because he was too scared and injured and powerless to help anyone. is that really hateful? is this a person you should be mad at? or are you gonna tell me you were right about everything at 17 and weren’t wrestling with emotions surrounding your self image that as an adult you can see yourself going “whoa, i really wish someone would’ve told me it didn’t have to be like that. if they had i could’ve tried to like myself a little more”. or maybe that’s still not you and your adolescence wasn’t so bad. but it was somebody. and that is emiya shirou.
but i want to reassure you it’s not that you can’t find the way he thinks of himself frustrating. another person’s self-loathing can definitely be frustrating. but it’s about not letting your frustration blind you to the change that takes place in his perspective throughout the story. it’s the narrative of growing from a boy who wants to save everyone in self-sacrificing atonement to a man who wants to save others simply because it’s the right thing to do and that ideal is beautiful in and of itself. that there will be tears, that there will be hardships... that’s not what’s important. what’s important is that his ideal is borrowed yet sincere. an ideal that did not come from him yet can be made his all the same. if you’ve ever been inspired to do anything by someone else, then that’s a point you can use to relate.
and maybe despite it all that’s just not really your cup of tea. in which case uh. sorry. this is our protag. the story is about him. no engaging with that world without engaging with him because all the characters are also reflected by him. maybe try revolutionary girl utena instead?
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ARB Birthday Special: Makina Setsukura
~ September 1st ~
“Lost is a lovely place to find yourself.”
Login Lines
“Happy Birthday to myself and everyone else celebrating their birthday today. What a time to be alive, am I right?”
“Part of me is excited to eventually become an adult with all the adulty perks. But at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m ready to grow up… so while I still can, I just wanna feel like I’m alive with the people I care about the most.”
Voice Lines
“Hellooo. A whole fucking year’s passed, isn’t that wild? It really just zoomed on by. I’ll say it again and again, but it’s shocking how much time’s passed. Like, slow down… please? I want time to just slow down.”
“I think my viewers left presents and fan mail in my P.O. Box. I planned for a big birthday stream for the majority of the day, just to spend some fun time with chat and thank them for the gifts. We’ll look through all the cute fanart on social media, play some games together, and I’ll have a couple of collabs with some streamer friends, too. Aaaaand I’ve got some fun surprises for chat, too.”
“Oh, Anika… thank you… Yeah, we couldn’t celebrate last year… ‘cuz of… Right… different… What the… stop sounding so cheesy… Urgh, today’s not the day for me to cry, dammit, I have makeup on…”
“You got me a present? Can I see it now? Isn’t this one of those ccomo mini fridges? It’s the brown bear fridge… I mean it’s really cute… and it’s got a lot of storage space… It’ll be good when I stream so I don’t have to leave my room to get snacks… What the fuck, why was that so backhanded… Ah shut up… and thanks…”
“Oh hey, Shian… thanks. Oh… was that two years ago? Oh yeah, it was… It felt like yesterday but it also felt like so long ago. I can’t thank you enough… really… Ah, shit, I didn’t want you to hear that… Ugh… thanks…”
“A pink…handheld carousel…? With pink bunnies? It’s a projector? How… Oh, ok, I see how it works now. That’s cool. And it’s really cute. A gift for kids? … I can’t even be mad about that…”
Anika Lines
“Hey, Happy Birthday, kiddo! This is my first celebrating your birthday with you. Right… But this year is different! There’s nothing I wish more than for you to live your life to the fullest. I’ll make sure of it. Haha! Oh no! We don’t want you to cry all that mascara off haha!”
“While we’re still here, you gotta open your present. Yeah! Go ahead! Exactly! This way, you can keep it and your snacks, strawberry milk, other energy drinks in your room and you don’t have to leave your snack rubbish in the kitchen and you can at least keep the mess within your own room! Really, looking at you hugging that thing, it’s almost half your height. That’s so cute! Oh, but still please throw away your rubbish, even if you do keep them within the confines of your room.”
Shian Lines
“Yo, Makina. It’s your birthday today, isn’t it? Damn, where has all the time gone? I swear it felt like yesterday when I first met you, but that was just barely two years ago. I heard that. No need to thank me. It was two years ago and it was the right thing to do. You deserve a good life.”
“Enjoy your present. It’s a device that projects moons and stars on your ceiling, walls, pretty much anything. It also works as a music box. It’s supposed to be a gift for kids, but I think it’ll look cute in your room and it’ll be fun to show your viewers.”
#hypnosis mic#hypnosis mic oc#hypmic#hypmic oc#hypnosis mic arb#hypmic arb#akihabara division#pixel syndicate#makina setsukura#anika kiyozaki#shian meizono#birthday 2023#makina birthday 2023
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terrible news I downloaded kisekae again and I can't stop making ocs in it
I made a post about most of them here but here's the new ones
starshine - ambiguously lesbian duo - white
star shaped ring that gives her light powers - shared mascot with moonglow
theater kid. convinced she’s too much for moonglow who is cool and seems self-assured. her and moonglow are genuinely kind of obsessed with each other but are also playing it up for the audience in a big way and are extremely insecure about their relationship. they probably don’t even talk that much outside the arena. has to hold hands with moonglow to use her powers. the re:vale of magical girls
moonglow - ambiguously lesbian duo - black
moon shaped ring that gives her darkness powers - shared mascot with starshine
lone wolf type. convinced she’s too boring and gloomy for starshine who is vibrant and talkative. writes electronic music and has a moderate following online but is terrified to talk about it to anyone in her real life. loves obscure fantasy novels and anime. she has no idea how she reads to other people and lots of people have crushes on her but she can’t comprehend that
R-FLIGHTFORM - mecha musume - silver
gun that lets her control gravity - ufo mascot
has been described as unfun, boring, allergic to fun, etc. physics major. mad all the time bc her magic powers defy the laws of physics. one of the first to suspect something’s up with the showrunners but she doesn’t tell anyone bc she wants to have empirical evidence first. why is she even doing all this? grad school is expensive. the r is supposed to be like in the big o but I feel like it makes her seem like a reddit board so she might need to drop it
then the infamous showrunners who are demons from another world trying to get everyone on earth with magic powers to play their little games in the magical girl arena so they won't be able to use the magic against the demons when they take over. the demon world is kind of like the magic world from dorohedoro in that it fucking sucks and people are always getting turned into mushrooms and bugs and shit and if you turn on the tv it’s only static and scraping metal noises but people just live there like it’s normal. the human world is only one of many worlds the demons have access to so it’s not that exciting to them. they can tell some of their magic is bleeding into it but they’re kind of self-centered and don’t think that’s a big deal
hikold
demons are supposed to do something big every century. your first two are just about growing up and finding yourself but after that everyone expects you to get something done. hikold did not do that for her 300th year and everyone made fun of her ever since so that’s why she’s decided to pop over to the human world and subjugate them. acts extremely serious while in her human disguise bc it’s her idea of professionalism but as soon she she reverts to demon form she becomes a sleazy businessman (female). everyone calls her sir even though she’s a woman. she loves gambling
ixn
I couldn’t decide if I wanted her to be a teen or a small adult so I made up some demon bullshit. demons are technically mature at 100 but don’t fully join society until around 200 when they decide what their Thing is going to be. ixn is sort of the demon equivalent of a college freshman, technically an adult but older adults don’t see her that way. she helps to design the matches and does the online marketing. she did the emceeing too before ririmi took over. her and ririmi are pretty close and she always keeps track of everything new she learns about ririmi in case she can use it against her in the future but she doesn’t realize that after a while she’s only doing it bc she likes ririmi and wants to be friends. cringe!
mazka
shes the sexy one. the relationship between her and hikold can’t be described in words. their personas as sexy secretary and sleazy boss are compatible but they also hate each other so it’s like, hikold looks down mazka’s top when mazka brings her coffee, but mazka poisoned the coffee, but hikold knew mazka poisoned the coffee so she pours it out in the office plant mazka is growing. this is demon flirting. mazka is the costume designer for the magical girl arena. she always says shit like ufufu. she flirts with everyone she knows but if she truly hates someone she just doesn’t talk to them at all. which is how you know she enjoys her weird ass sexy rivalry with hikold
currently the only official ships are hikold/mazka and avery/evelyn. I think ixn/michelle might be but I havent decided yet
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Do you have any advice on how to avoid petty school drama? I'm in my first year of uni and let's just say that I have people against me for no actual reason and it's starting to get tiring when I'm trying to mind my own business
First year of uni is how you weed out the weak tbh. Sorry if that sounds wild, but let me explain: in high school, kids get petty. In adulthood, you’re meant to leave the majority of that behind you.
In university, or whatever you choose to do with your life between ~18-21 ish, you work through some of those feelings and you work to move past that version of yourself. University (or again, whatever you to in that time) is for learning and maturing.
I AM NOT SAYING YOU WILL MAGICALLY TRANSFORM INTO A FULLY ACTUALISED PERSON; I AM NOT SAYING YOU WILL PROCESS ALL YOUR EMOTIONS FROM YOUR LIFE UP TO THIS POINT IN THREE-FOUR YEARS.
I’m saying, the wise will make a start.
If you have the wisdom to spot this shit now, then you’re already on your way. If others aren’t trying to grow, then they could become very boring adults with degrees while you go on to be mature, sophisticated, and educated.
My advice, really, is to keep that in mind. If you don’t want to be that kind of person, then don’t. Keep in mind that you are gaining wisdom, and try to take the time to work on yourself. Frankly, fuck them.
But if you need more practical solutions because you really do just need space to think, then…
Is the class run at more than one time in the week? Can you swap to the other one? If so, literally this late in the academic year is worth it.
And girl, “tell the teacher” may sound a little dumb, but genuinely, talk to your personal tutor, the tutor of the class(es) you have with the shitheads, tell them what’s going on. Genuinely, in my experience, a good education professional at any level of education, just want to help you.
Finally, girly, you have to have a vent-sesh to friends you trust every once an a while. Good on you for getting off your chest, even in an ask box, but tell the full story to your friends so they can help.
Much love!!
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neverafter meme pt. 2
a meme made months ago but submitted for clue 12 !!!
“behind you are two geese. one of them is good and one of them is evil.”
“everyone stand on the girl child with broken bones”
“sister– what gives?”
“you got it, dad!”
“hey! be careful who you’re talking to! i’m a really nice pre-teen!”
“great, gender reveal crow”
“two brilliant actors. you guys are going to get into the school play this year, for sure.”
“they’re not dirty here, they’re unnatural.”
“i’m going to do a courageous act of cowardice.”
“i mean, as someone who just ate one, it was great for me.”
“are you also a cusping pre-teen?”
“i gotta get you on the garnish train.”
“we’re all on our own in the dark, little boy!”
“[blank]’s become metal as hell!”
“you were special when you were young, and then you fucking went through puberty, and now you’re just ugly!”
“hey, i’ll trade bites in the name of girl bonding”
“am i always supposed to be scared?”
“and sometimes, i think, you also have to be a little bit scary in scary times.”
“deep in your heart, do you feel that you are a man or a frog?”
“answer however you feel, you’re allowed to grow.”
“and now here they are, hardcore thrashing at a party”
“relax you’ve been at a sleepover party.”
“roll for gaslight” - this is so unusable as an rp starter but im losing it
“it was an adult sleepover! a non-sexual adult sleepover.”
“can i help because i have a keen eye for authority?”
“this kid knows where to tell on people.”
“you’re the man to stand up and say ‘adult sleepover gone wrong, my bad, but we’ll get through this as a community.”
“there is a lot of intuitive knowledge in this little body of yours”
“you gotta accept it before you embrace it”
“you’re not a monster.”
“true love isn’t real! don’t worry about it! i’m going to die alone, and so is everybody else, isn’t that great?”
“i’ll think about it, i’ll give it a good noodle.”
“wet, nude spiders on your 12, your 10, your 11,, your 1, your 2.”
“leave me to the ladies.”
“you’re nodding at me like i’m supposed to get something.”
“meow baby, meow meow– okay.”
“you see the smile of a devil you never believed in”
“the most fairy tale shit we’ve done so far is subject kids to shit they absolutely do not deserve.”
“it feels kinda rude to just start throwing fire around but i’m down.”
“i just like little guys.”
“everyone loves a fucking underdog, but i’m a fucking actual dog.”
“you’re about to get your ass kicked, man.”
“don’t need it, but thanks babe! *kisses on both cheeks*”
“look, there’s two kinds of people. there’s scratches people and there’s deeper into the ink people.”
“you’re nothing more than scratches of ink on someone else’s paper”
“oh god dammit are we an acapella group now?”
“i think this makes me want to disobey my elders, when i hear this.”
“it’s not fun to tell the truth! it’s much funner to lie.”
“if i sing it maybe it’ll be better.”
“from man to man, you need to chill.”
“do you pick the bits before, or do we just– find them?”
“there’s a lot of mean moms around, huh?”
“sometimes you say things in the heat of the moment because you want to protect somebody”
“i feel like a lot of children, the entire moral of their story, they’re just a tool to tell some stupid moral, and the morals are fucking wrong. the adults are wrong, like, so often.”
“ugh! i’m so sick of adults!”
��you just didn’t say anything! not saying anything sometimes is just as bad as a lie, or maybe it’s even worse!”
“can i say? i don’t fucking know you.”
“[blank], that’s torture, right? that’s, like, fucked up shit, right?”
“i guess, sort of, how?”
“i followed a caterpillar that was chasing a butterfly”
“so what it was my grandma’s time, but not my time?”
“i met death, and death wants me to live!”
“i literally can’t believe what you kids have been through.”
“i don’t think you can be a prick when you’re ten.. you’re just ten.”
“us talking is fucking them over– everyone kiss each other!”
“it’s been kind of hard, but good lessons to learn.”
“don’t learn lessons from my torment!”
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My own vague and disjointed Black Phone headcanons
Finney
Autistic with a special interest in rockets and NASA
When he grows up he’d end up working in a science museum and sticking to the space section. He realised pretty early on that he doesn’t want to go to space, he just wants to learn as much about it as humanly possible
Cat person
Braids Gwen’s hair most mornings
Doesn’t like reading fiction books, but loves non-fiction.
Bisexual
Becomes an insomniac after escaping from The Grabber
Makes a point of eating three square meals a day after escaping since nothing makes you appreciate food more than going hungry for god-knows-how-long. This ends up with him getting really into cooking. Nothing extravagant, but the few dishes he can cook he cooks really well.
Believes in God, but in a passive way.
Robin
Has dyscalculia
Gay/mlm
Loves reading pulpy horror novels. Opposite to Finn in that he loves fiction, but can’t stand books that don’t have some kind of fantastical element to them.
Rents Bruce Lee Movies for the soul purpose of rewinding and copying the martial arts moves.
If he’d grown up (🥲) he would have become a nurse and worked in Urgent Care.
That doctor friend who always has a full first-aid kit in his bag.
Lives with his mom and uncle (dad’s brother).
Said mom and uncle get along really well and are basically platonic soul mates.
Shows he cares for people by just, existing in the same place. Like, reading while his Uncle works on his car, or just sitting watching TV with his mom.
Has a deal with the people who work at the video rental store in town so he gets their old movie posters instead of them being thrown away. His bedroom is basically covered in niche horror and action movie posters.
Can sew.
Gwen
Became a Christian after being given a copy of the New Testament by a door-to-door preacher.
She read the whole thing, multiple times.
Despite this, she never attends church until she’s in her late teens. She goes to one service, vows to never go back and spends the next month ranting to Finney about how shit it was. She’s effectively a Christian witch.
She’s really interested in other religion and ends up researching them a lot.
Continued to work with Detective Wight and Miller after the incident with The Grabber.
Wight and Miller end up becoming something of a second/third dad to her.
She ends up becoming a Private Investigator as an adult and becomes somewhat well known for taking supernatural cases.
Keeps a dream journal.
Men-leaning bisexual.
Went vegetarian as an adult.
Bruce
He and Amy are actually twins. He’s two minutes older than her and has fully commits to the ‘protective older brother’ role. (I’m aware that home rooms don’t have mixed ages in America but fuck it. My headcanon my rules)
Has ADHD.
Solid C-B student in most classes.
Usually pretty calm and chill, but has a bad habit of bottling up his feelings to keep up appearances. Him snapping is a rare occurrence, but a memorable one.
Biromantic demisexual
Would have tried to go pro with baseball(if he’d survived 😭), but quickly discovered that doing so kind of ruined the fun of it. Would have ended up as a sports teacher and little league coach.
Always snacking. Carries around a packet of cashews in his backpack.
The diplomatic friend who helps his friends out of trouble.
Because he and Amy hung out so much as kids, he’s very good at doing nail polish. Though he never wears any (mostly because he doesn’t like the feeling of it on his nails) he always does Amy’s.
His bedroom is organised chaos.
LOVES dogs, but can’t get one because their fur makes his mom sneeze.
Vance
Lives with his father. They do not get along.
Autistic (low empathy) with a special interest in pin ball.
Gay but hasn’t figured that out yet.
Has a massive crush on Robert Plant. Thinks he just respects him a lot.
If he’d grown up, he would have ended up working as a mechanic.
Speaking of. He’s one of those people who looks after their cars really well.
Bites his nails and hangnails, his hands are always covered in bandaids.
Thinks knives are for pussies and will bring his fists to a knife fight. The only time he will use a knife is if someone tries to use one on him to give them a taste of their own medicine.
In the real life Grab n’ Go incident he carved his high score into the boy’s arm, not the house numbers.
The Grabber didn’t use the ‘magic trick’ thing to get him because obviously that wouldn’t work. He was also the one who gave The Grabber the most trouble before Finney came along.
Knows how to make cherry bombs. Had blown up many a mailbox.
Has done community service multiple times.
Pierced his own ears with a safety pin and has done a stick n poke tattoo.
Loves reading, though because his dad gives him shit for it he hides most of his books out of the house.
Has read Rage by Richard Bachman (AKA, Stephen King)
Claims to like black coffee and mercilessly shits on anyone who puts so much as a drop of milk in theirs.
Weirdly enough, he never actually finished he own cup.
Billy/Paperboy
The most well-off of the boys.
His full name is William Showalter. Only his grandparents actually call him William.
Naturally a morning person, even before he started doing the paper round.
Struggles to stay up past 9.
Hates tomatoes.
Aroace.
Gets along really well with his folks. They’re the kind of family who unironically has family game nights and movie nights every week. He genuinely looks forward to these.
His dog is called Ladybird and she sleeps in his room each night. Has done since she was a puppy.
His room is immaculate.
He and his dad watch M*A*S*H together.
Has a weird collection of things in his pockets: pens, rubber bands, gum, bits of trash, etc.
I have more with him, but saying them would spoil my fic soooo. Sorry.
Griffin
Is allergic to absolutely fucking everything.
When his hayfever isn’t acting up, he’s got a cold. That kid that’s always coughing and snotty.
Autistic and ADHD. Has a lot of verbal stims that are him quoting lines he thinks are funny from cartoons and comics. He usually masks this while he’s at school, but it���s not uncommon to hear him mumbling to himself when he thinks no one’s around.
His mom had him when she was 17. Dad was never in the picture but his mom wanted to raise him by herself. She gets along really well with her parents and they all help to co-parent him.
They’re not well-off by any means, but they manage and they’re happy.
He gets Mad Magazine whenever he can and thinks it’s hilarious. He’s also got a collection of joke books.
Griffin is quietly feral. He doesn’t talk much and keeps to himself most of the time but once he gets talking and out of his shell he’s a nutcase.
Plays pranks in class and no one is the wiser because he’s just the quiet kid in the back.
Scraped knees are a common occurrence.
Bullies tend to pick up on him being a bit weird. Though they don’t really know him by name, he did get picked on a lot with older students tricking him into doing silly things because he didn’t realise they were fucking with him. He ended up eating alone most of the time.
Falls asleep on the rug in his living room a lot. Honestly sleeps better there than his own bed.
Chews the hell out of the straws whenever he has a juice box. If he lived in modern day he’d wear chewlry.
Extremely susceptible to jump scares.
#the black phone#headcanon#griffin stagg#billy showalter#vance hopper#finney blake#robin arellano#bruce yamada#gwen blake
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I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT
Okay this is too much to unpack and I’m fairly hungover but I’ll do my best.
I’m every generation there is always a group of people that will fall victim to evangelical propaganda. For this generation it seems to not only be right-wing kids, but left leaning people as well. You’ll hear things on this website and other websites about how “sex is only for adults and anyone under 18 should not have sex under and circumstances.” Doesn’t that sound oddly similar to abstinence only education propagated by Reagan? They talk about how teenagers should cover up and be completely modest because again “sex is only for adults” when obviously kids are going to sleep together. That’s not going to change just because someone on the internet thinks so. I’m not talking about pedophilia or anything like that, I’m talking about how teenagers have the right to experiment and find themselves. There’s nothing wrong or immoral about that.
I’ve also noticed quite a few people in the straight edge community pushing misinformation about drugs in general. Misinformation that was originally used by DARE. And, kids fall for it. They want to be involved in what they think is the right cause, when really it’s Christian nonsense. Obviously you don’t have to do drugs if you don’t want to. But, putting out shit like “acid is deadly” and “weed is a gateway drug,” is fucking ridiculous. It’s just not true.
We have created a new wave of helicopter parenting. The iPad toddlers are growing up and becoming completely subjugated to the whims of over protective parents. Obviously this has been brought on by gun violence no one is denying that. But, the way that kids are being treated like objects is just a rerun of how boomers raised their kids. We have this opportunity to end this loop of evangelism, and every time we fall for it. It’s honestly pathetic. And social media just perpetuates this shit because kids aren’t smart enough not to believe it.
This went fairly off the rails but it’s complex and nuanced and I’m so tired. Conservatism is rampant on the internet and you are not immune to its propaganda. Question everything.
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Having been a gifted kid growing up really wrecked my brain for adulthood. Like, I’m in a pretty good place for my age. I’m a professional with a full time job who can pay my bills and have some money leftover to enjoy my hobbies. Life is objectively good.
But when I was a kid I was like… a super genius and everyone told me how much potential I had. I used to get so bored in school so they’d give me more stuff to do to actually keep me some level of mentally stimulated. And that was great but it really makes you internalize some weird shit about the kind of adult you’re supposed to be.
When I was 8 I came up with this dumb plan to fill Antarctica with lightning rods attached to super thick cables that we would run under the ocean to connect them to the mainlands because I read in one of my textbooks that we were gonna run out of fossil fuels in fifty years and not have anymore electricity. And like… I thought my job should be single handed my solving the global energy crisis?
I was really good at science and thought I was supposed to become some kind of doctor/researcher and find the cure for cancer by myself because I had no idea how medical research or companies worked and thought all scientific discoveries were by some individual trying really hard and being smart and reading books and experimenting. I wanted to go to med school but then in college I was bad at math and then didn’t find out until I was in my thirties that I apparently have ADHD. Go figure.
At one point as a kid I was convinced I had to become President because otherwise I was a failure and not living up to my potential. And like…
What the fuck, tiny me?
It’s not like any adults in my life put weird pressure on me. I think all the comments about my potential and how smart I was just went to my head and my ego couldn’t deal with the idea of not living up to all that.
But the shitty thing is that all that is still in my head. I’m not president or even a measly congressperson. Failure. I haven’t found the cure for cancer. Failure. I haven’t single-handedly negotiated a successful solution to the conflict in Israel and Palestine like my 9 year old self decided I was supposed to do for some reason??? What was I smoking???
Like, law school was kind of terrifying because it was a real reckoning with mortality in the sense of “oh shit, I chose a path. I did this. All the other doors are closed to me” when the thing that had defined so much of my view of myself growing up was this idea that I could be “anything.”
And I hate that I’m not.
I’m thirty-something and tired and hate the days I have to work more than eight hours (except that I also love them because there’s something mentally gratifying about knowing that I have an excuse to be tired). I volunteer for too many community service things and go to the gym and cook and go out of my way to learn skills like house to paint houses and build shelves and shit. And I write fucking novels that I don’t publish because they aren’t good enough for the standard I set for them in my mind. And I’m always studying some language trying to learn more and just…
I don’t know. Those things were all just this summer. And it still feels like I didn’t do enough
I need the constant stimulation, but it’s never enough and I think I really just need to accept at some point that it will never be enough. The books I write will never be good enough for me because they will always read like I wrote them. I could probably be a goddamned CEO and I would feel like I hadn’t worked hard enough or advanced far enough in my career.
I might just be going a little crazy and restless right now because I fucked up my ankle a few weeks ago and my normal stress relief is going for walks and I literally can’t without risking damaging it more.
I think I just wanted to rant about how I’ll never cure cancer in my secret presidential science lab at the White House and how my own existential dread about the ever-dawning realizations of human mortality are fucking with me.
It’s like… fuck. Time just keeps going faster as I get older. I’m gonna die at some point. More than a third of life expectancy is behind me. 2013 doesn’t feel like 10 years ago and if the next decade goes faster and the one after that and the one after that—
I don’t want to be content. I want to squeeze in as much life as possible before I go back to being earth. Because at the end of the day I’m a weird little piece of the universe that woke up to observe itself for what accounts for probably a nanosecond in the scope of deep time and I just wanna like… wanna get all I can put of that nanosecond.
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ok ….. ugh how do I say this without sounding like a massive hater & asshole dude. this is all just personal opinion I’m not trying to sound any type of way here. my friend and I exchange our personal poetry a lot and this morning I woke up to one in my dms so it was the first thing I read and. it was basically “I never liked wearing makeup so I’m a boy” and I….. like I can’t even respond to that. I’m not even trying to dunk on them. the way it was written was very uh…. I can’t think of the official terms and shit but it was just like wordy & dramatic and like… ugh again not trying to dunk on them but I think that’s sad. I mean from a writer’s perspective I think they could’ve done a little better. I think they should try a technique I’ve been implementing myself lately which is “less is more” bc I’ve been there where I try to convey something with all these big flowery words and make it sound “deep” and it just ends up sounding corny af. you gotta pull back some. simplify. but I read the whole 4 page long poem. and I couldn’t connect with it. I mean obviously they’re talking about something I’ve never really quite experienced. but then again I can think of plenty of poems I’ve read that were about experiences I’ve never / will never have and I could still connect and empathize with the author. not saying I don’t empathize here too. it’s just. I personally have never made the connection in my head that if I don’t like a stereotypical female gender role then that somehow means I must not be female. and that’s what I’m grappling with after reading their work. I mean aside from the poem sounding like it was at a high school level when they’re in their mid 20s….. I liked doing girly things as a child so I was never questioned. I also liked playing in the mud and catching bugs and lizards and frogs and running around with boys and climbing trees and playing BASEBALL (not softball I refused) I got scolded when I stopped shaving my legs in high school. I was always told I needed to be more “ladylike” man I fucking hated the word ladylike (still do tbh) so it’s like I can relate to defying gender roles and not wanting to be put in a box. but I feel like in this case you’re taking yourself out of one box and just putting yourself into another. and I was just thinking about how we all have things we’ve internalized from our childhoods. I’ve been reading a lot about that myself. if you grow up being told you are Wrong as a child you will become and adult that believes themself to be Wrong. we can’t help what we internalize. but it is learned. and it can be unlearned. being a naturally gender non-conforming person has been bastardized and I don’t know what’s going on but I think it may be by plan. either the plastic surgeons that profit off this shit, the people in the medical field who are getting paid to pump hormones into kids. therapists that make over $100 an hour to sit across a young adult that grew up in a homophobic town and tell them it’s normal to want to kill yourself if you don’t get your genitals chopped up. like come on man. we gotta start taking our shit back. the world will never be ready for feminine gay men or masculine gay women if we keep trying to convert them and make them “right” GNC is beautiful & natural and it should be embraced, not medicalized. in my opinion.
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