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gbee-writes · 6 months

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CW: multiple mentions of child death/murder and intent of child murder (not descriptive but main focus), implied/mentioned adult murder x2 (not descriptive), needle mention, dehumanizing language and conversations, HEAVY ANGST with happy (bittersweet?) ending.

“It isn’t right.” Scientist spat out, venom dripping from the words. “That thing came out wrong.”

Supervillain gently pulled Scientist away from her work table. Each time she had failed her attempt she seemed to get more and more angry with herself. It broke his heart to hear. The mistakes weren’t her fault, Scientist was brilliant and her work was brilliant.

“I just- I want him back Supervillain…I want our baby back…” Her voice wavered.

He cupped the back of her head as she pushed her face into his shoulder. “We’ll have him back darling, we just need to try again. If anyone can do this right, it’s you.”

Scientist twisted his cardigan in her fists as she clearly struggled not to cry. It had been almost a year now without any significant progress in bringing Child back but Supervillain had absolutely no doubt in his wife.

This was the woman who had somehow cured what would have been the terminal illness to take him out, the woman who took control of a hero’s powers through the use of their own body like a puppet, the one who Supervillain knew with full certainty could take the world down without true opposition. There was a reason he had fallen so deeply and irreversibly in love with her.

His heart wrenched as a broken, muffled sob shook her frame. “I can’t stand that thing walking around looking like him. It’s mocking me, Supervillain! I can’t stand it! It’s going around with his face as if it deserves to take his place. It’s mocking my failure!”

“Hush love, hush now.” Supervillain scooped her up and carried her from the lab.

The walk to their room was a long one as the lab was on the other side of the manor and they passed several henchmen on their way. Each one of them quickly averted their eyes, either from respect or from fear. They all knew what Supervillain would do to them if they even just thought of using Scientist’s vulnerability to an advantage. Even still, it was a relief to finally reach the carved oak doors.

Scientist was coaxed into her pajamas before Supervillain tucked her into their bed. It was only noon but she had been up the whole night trying to find what had gone wrong with that thing and she needed the sleep.

He laid a soft kiss to her forehead. “Don’t worry darling. That imposter will be gone by the time you wake; I’ll take care of it.”

---

“Six.”

Supervillain paused. It was rare that his captain of security said anything. He preferred to be monosyllabic or simply silent most of the time. “Excuse me?”

“This is the sixth child you will kill.” Captain was still standing at attention by the clone’s door but he watched Supervillain out of the corner of his eye. “You’ve made six of them since you lost Child. Scientist was crying again; you’re going to kill him too.”

It wasn’t a question.

Supervillain pulled his hand from the nob. “Your point, Captain?”

“How many of these poor children need to die before you two realize there isn’t any getting Child back? How many more before Scientist is too broken to keep trying? Before you finally stop adding to that grave pit in the garden?”

Rage ballooned in his chest, threatening to break his ribs. “Scientist is brilliant, if any one can bring him back-”

“No one can bring him back.”

“Captain-”

“Sir, no one can bring Child back, not even Scientist. This isn’t healthy for you two or fair on the children you bring into short existence before ripping them back out of it.”

“They aren’t children!” Supervillain roared. “They’re just clones, mockeries of my son, failed resurrections!”

Captain finally moved to fully face him. The disgust on his face was jarring to Supervillain, startling and unfamiliar. “Even with all your power you aren’t a god Supervillain and neither is Scientist. You can’t bring people back from the dead. Child is gone. He’s never, never going to come back to you.”

Supervillain’s rage flipped around wildly with the soul crushing grief that had taken over far too much of his life. “He’s not-!”

“He. Is. GONE. You’ve thrown away five perfectly good children that you might have grown to love and now you set another one up for slaughter like a pig. That’s all you two are doing; making pigs for slaughter. What has Clone ever done wrong by you besides deciding he didn’t like something that Child did? He isn’t your son, none of them will be, not because he isn’t Child, but because you decided so the second he was made.”

Silence blanketed the hall. The tension could have been cut with a knife. Distantly the ticking of a clock counted seconds away. Finally;

“You have gotten far too comfortable with speaking to me in such a disrespectful way, Captain. We aren’t your friends, we are your superiors, and I expect you to treat us as such. Never question our work again, just follow your orders.”

Captain’s features hardened. “Of course Sir. I’ll go clean the bathrooms as punishment and I’ll be sure not to let myself care for you two again.”

Supervillain growled as Captain strode off with a sneer. His white knuckled fists crackled with energy. Captain didn’t understand, he didn’t grasp the devastation that came with losing Child, nor the pain of having the clones turn out so different from him.

He thrust the door open. The clone was seated with its back to the door, cross legged on the side of the bed. It was smaller than the rest, maybe younger? Scientist had taken it out of the growth tube sooner than the others.

“How did he die?” Clone asked without turning around.

“What?” Supervillain growled.

“Child,” Clone mumbled slightly. “How did he die? No one will tell me, and I’m going to die too either way, I figured asking you personally before it happened wouldn’t hurt…”

Wouldn’t hurt? Thinking about that day always hurt. His teeth nearly cracked from how tightly his jaw clenched. “What makes you think you deserve to know?”

Clone twisted a little scrap of cloth in his hands. He seemed less scared of his imminent death than the others had been. How odd. “Nothing, I guess. I was just curious really, everyone looks…I don’t know, kind of sick when they think about it. I guess I just wanted to know what would make everyone feel so bad. No one seems to feel that bad about me dying I don’t think. It must have been really bad then.”

Supervillain’s eyes stung. “It wasn’t just how he died, it was the fact that he’s not here.”

“Why isn’t anyone sad about that with me then?”

It was clearly just an innocent question, a child clone trying to understand, but it made fury lick against Supervillain’s ribs. This stupid thing really thought it mattered as much as Child had? “Why would anyone be sad at your death? You’ve only been alive three days, no one knows you, no one loves you. We love Child; that’s why we aren’t sad about you.”

“Oh.”

A long stretch of nothing happened where Supervillain only watched the little clone. He noted that Clone worried at the cloth in much the same way Scientist worried at her sleeves when she was having trouble with an experiment. His eyes creased the way Supervillain’s did when he overworked.

Odd…none of the others had shown similarities. Or maybe they had and he’d been too blind to notice it?

A wobbly, thick-with-tears voice broke the trance Supervillain had fallen into. “If I had been alive as long as Child, would anyone be sad at me dying then?”

‘Would anyone love me then?’

The insinuated question lingered in the air. Supervillain clenched his jaw tighter. Why was his throat suddenly thick with a pesky lump, why did tears track down his cheeks, why was he hesitating at such a stupid question?!

Dragging air into his rattling lungs burned like drowning.

He couldn’t do it.

Supervillain turned heel and threw himself out into the hallway. Several henchmen flinched as the door slammed shut. He couldn’t choke out the order not to clean up, there was nothing to clean up after all, and as he rushed to get to his bedroom he heard the clone’s door creak open and poorly muffled exclamations of shock.

---

Telling Scientist was less frightening than he thought it would be. She had been angry at first, furious about having to see a false Child running around any longer. He ended up sleeping in a spare room that night and the next. Eventually though she had sought Supervillain out.

He had been in the study failing to read when Scientist found him. “I don’t know why I thought killing them wouldn’t affect you…they look just like him…”

He set the book down and gestured her into his lap. “I promise I didn’t want to hurt you by not-”

“Oh Hon, I know you didn’t.” Scientist curled in close. Her warmth was a much welcome comfort. “I couldn’t kill them myself because they looked like him, of course so many of them would be detrimental to you. I’m so sorry Supervillain. It was selfish of me to ask you to dispose of them so I wouldn’t have to.”

Child used to sit with them in the library, snuggled right beside Supervillain as Scientist curled in his lap, the pair of them listening as he read whatever book Child had picked out. A lump formed in his throat again. God did he miss those moments. His chest ached. He hated that ache and how familiar it had gotten.

“I…I can do it again. I think I just need more time to brace myself. I’ll get rid of him Darling, I just need some time.”

“Okay dear.”

---

A week later Supervillain was back at the clone’s room preparing himself for what had to come. Only he wasn’t in the bed like last time. Clone was curled up in the egg shaped wicker chair on the balcony. He was so small that Supervillain had almost missed him. “I’m sorry…”

Supervillain furrowed his brows. “You’re sorry?”

“For upsetting you…the guards told me asking about Child made you hurt. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” His brows furrowed together. Supervillain wasn’t exactly being courteous to this child, why was he apologizing? “Are you gonna do it now?”

“Pardon?” Supervillain startled. Right; kill him, Clone was asking if he was going to kill him yet. “Oh. Yes, I am.”

Clone nodded before twisting around into a more cozy spot, pulling a pillow up to his chest to cuddle. He rubbed his face on the fabric a bit before going still. “Okay, I’m ready.”

No tears...no fighting...no begging?

This wasn’t right.

“Aren’t you scared?” Supervillain found the words leaving his mouth without permission.

“Yeah…I’m really scared…but seeing me hurts you and your wife. One of the guards told me that. He said seeing the others did too so you got rid of them so she wouldn’t hurt anymore. I don’t want to make anyone hurt…”

“...getting rid of you won’t make it hurt less.”

Clone blinked up at him with watery doe eyes. “It won’t? But you don’t know me.”

‘You don’t love me.’

“No, it won’t.” Supervillain let his legs give out and landed in the second egg chair with the soft thump. “It’s not having you here, it’s having him gone.”

“Then why are you sad when you see me?”

“You look like him. You’re meant to, of course, but you aren’t him and that…” Supervillain chuckled without humor. He ran his hand through his tangled hair that he realized he’d forgotten to brush. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“Does it make you feel better?”

“I don’t know. A little, perhaps.”

Clone thought for a moment. “Then…I can listen until you want to get rid of me…if it’ll help.”

Supervillain pulled his hand down his face. What was he doing? He hadn’t let the others talk but here he was, sitting down with Clone as if he were...

“Did you really want to know how he died?”

That’s where it started, telling Clone how Child had begged to join the heroes. How they had made a deal with the agency to never cause further harm as long as Child could apprentice with the best hero in the city.

How that hero had betrayed the trust that Scientist and Supervillain, that Child, had placed in them.

How the agency had covered it up as an accident to save face.

The funeral, Scientist’s desperate attempts to bring Child back, the toll of taking the lives of children who looked like Child just so Scientist would hurt less.

Once he started talking about it, Supervillain couldn’t stop. He choked on his words at times, bit back tears unsuccessfully, but for the first time in a year the grief ebbed if only just a fraction.

When it was finally all out Supervillain looked over to Clone, who was shivering. It was pitch black out. How long had he been talking?

Supervillain wasn’t sure why but he grabbed the throw blanket on the edge of the bed and tucked the child in with it. He knelt down so he could be face to face with him. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have this hanging over you...”

“Supervillain?”

He whipped around to see his wife by the door. Horror washed over her features. “Scientist-”

“You haven’t killed it, have you?”

“I-”

“You said you were going to get rid of it now, not talk to it as if it were him.”

“Please listen-”

“You lied to me, Supervillain! You said it would be gone by dinner but it’s nearly midnight and you’re coddling it!” She threw herself about and stormed out the door.

Supervillain launched to his feet. “Wait! Scientist please-” The door slammed behind him as he bolted towards the shrinking figure of his wife. “Scientist!”

Henchmen and guards leapt out of his way as he tried to catch up with her before it was too late. He didn’t care about the shouts of surprise, or the hushed questions that trailed behind, he only cared about stopping his wife from taking a child clone’s life.

He didn’t catch up to her until she was in her lab. “Scientist, listen-”

“No! I won’t have that thing in my home anymore! I want Child not some clone.” She spat vitriol with the words.

Something hot and bitter built up in his chest, an emotional bile leaving a horrid tang at the back of his mouth. “They’re ALL clones! Even if we had Child back in a new body it would just. Be. A clone!”

Scientist whipped around. There was a syringe fulled with a liquid he didn’t know clenched in her fist. “I can get him back; I have to get him back!” There was a crazy light in her eyes that Supervillain had never seen before. “I have to get him back, it’s my fault- I have to...I HAVE TO GET HIM BACK!”

“Scientist!” Captain’s voice cut through their argument. She looked to him. “Put the needle down.”

Tears streamed her reddened cheeks, nose scrunched with frustration and rage. Her knuckles turned white around the syringe. For a terrifying moment Supervillain feared he would need to overpower her to get her to stop.

Then her face fell. Relief flooded him as her arm went limp and the needle clattered on the floor.

“I can’t…I can’t do it, can I?”

Captain shook his head. “No.”

The way Supervillain’s heart fractured hurt so much worse than he could ever describe, swearing he could almost hear it. He didn’t want to admit it out loud but Scientist needed to know the truth. “Child is gone and we…we can’t bring him back…” He tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. “...and I can’t take having another son dead…”

Scientist looked at her hands with horror. “...we went too far…Supervillain we-...we killed our children…” She broke down, collapsing into Supervillain with a devastated cry. “We’re no better than Hero!”

“No, we’re worse...” He dug his fingers into the back of her lab coat. “And it’s about time we made that clear.”

Supervillain handed Scientist off to Captain with a pointed look. Captain nodded. “I’ll make sure she’s well.”

��Clone too, he was-”

“Already in bed, sir. I had the others care for him as soon as you left the room.”

“Good. I don’t know when I’ll return.”

“Understood.”

---

The streets were quiet, the people locked away in their homes as if they could sense Supervillain’s rage flooding the city. He followed the route he knew Hero took for patrols.

Soon he was rewarded with a figure crouched at the edge of a roof. She was stocky and short, her hair tied up in a thick ponytail.

“Nope, it’s quiet here. ETA for base is about an hour. I want to check the low income districts one more time.” Supervillain padded up behind Hero silently. “Alright, I’ll check in in thirty. Hero out!”

“Hero out, indeed.”

She flipped around with a yelp. Her expression only became more frightened as she took in his towering form. A smirk pulled his lips. “It’s been quite some time. A year, right?”

Hero swallowed before trying to control her expression. “Since the funeral. You and Scientist...are doing well I assume? You haven’t kept in contact with the agency.”

“Why would we speak with the people who didn’t punish our son’s murderer?”

“The coroner declared it as an accident, Supervillain.” Her pointed glare only cased the burning rage to flair.

He sneered at her. “But it wasn’t, was it?”

Hero’s fear morphed to rage. She balled her fists as she stepped closer to him. He had to keep from throwing her as her face pushed right into his. “I deserved better than a villain kid as my sidekick. I’m the greatest hero in this city! He should have been put with Astra or Blackout; someone who’s just as much of a joke for a hero as your kid was.”

Supervillain held up a small remote. “Child idolized you. He used to say he wanted to be just like you when he grew up.” He hit the button on the remote. Hero flinched and grabbed at her ear where her communicator was. “I’m glad he never got the chance.”

“What was that? What are you-”

“EMP. Scientist designed this one. I don’t want you calling for help before I’m done.”

Her face paled again, bravado leaving in an instant. “You won’t, you can’t! The agreement-”

“Means nothing if Child is not here. We agreed to stop so long as he was training under you; he is no longer training.” His fingertips lit up with energy. He lifted them close to her face and the green reflected in Hero’s widening eyes. Supervillain considered his next move with a devilish grin. “I’ve been holding in quite a lot of pain this last year.”

“Supervillain-”

“I think it’s time I let some of it out, wouldn’t you? It’s so much more healthy to the grieving process.”

“Don’t be hasty!” Hero’s voice broke. Satisfaction rushed him as she scrambled to add back the distance she’d closed.

His laugh echoed in the empty streets. Deranged, heartbroken, lethal. Supervillain had missed the utter terror in her eyes. This was who he was at his core; a weapon that reveled in the destruction it caused. A predator killing just to see the blood painting the streets and bodies left in it’s wake.

For Child he would deny that part of himself; for his son he would sacrifice everything but his wife. Power, money, satiating the blood lust, he would give it all away for his son.

But Child was gone. Child was dead.

“Eleven months of stewing is hasty to you? How odd, it only took one for you to kill my son.” His tone was hard. It was clear he wouldn’t back down.

Hero tried to step back again but only found air. Supervillain closed the distance. Energy crackled from his hands all the way up to his shoulders. He felt a deep gratification as Hero decided to scramble from the building and run.

The hunt was on.

---

Supervillain loved when the agency begged. One of the lower heroes was cowering by the door, clearly wanting to be elsewhere.

“Supervillain, I’ve been sent to request-”

“Another peace meeting, I know. I’m afraid we no longer have interest in such agreements.” He ran his hands through Scientist’s hair. It was a shame the request had come during family time. Clone Kid was asleep in Scientist’s lap, she was leaned on his side, the book he’d been reading abandoned on a side table.

Blackout swallowed thickly. “Please, it’s been months. The agency is willing to do anything.”

He raised his brows. “Are they? Absolutely anything?”

“...yes.”

“Fine. We’ll pace ourselves.”

“They want you to stop-”

“That is not a possibility anymore.” Blackout looked like he swallowed a rock. “We will pace ourselves if they denounce Hero and reveal what they did to Child.”

At this Blackout bristled. “What does it matter what Hero did to them? They’re dead and you have a new Child! Why would you need-”

Energy crackled up Supervillain’s hand, ruining the arm of the couch and waking Kid. Scientist shifted so he could stand. Rage boiled in every cell. “New Child? New? Child?! Kid is not Child, he never was and he never will be. Child is gone because of your Hero and it’s a dishonor of his memory to hide it!”

“A dishonor like cloning him and pretending it never happened? Using his DNA as a plaything to create a little fake so you can play house again?” Blackout’s rage disappeared instantly as the words registered. “No, wait I didn’t mean-”

Supervillain lunged. His hand wrapped Blackout’s throat as he slammed the hero against the wall. “Don’t you dare pretend to know why we made Kid, you insolent moron!”

Blackout clawed at his hand desperately. “I’m sorry!”

“Hmm.” Supervillain tightened his hold. “Hero was right; you are a joke. Not even a little fight.” Energy surged through his hands and the body hit the floor. “Captain?”

“Yes sir?”

“Have that delivered to the agency. Maybe they’ll get the message this time.”

“With pleasure.”

He turned back to his family. Kid was rubbing sleep from his eyes with a yawn as Scientist stretched out her legs. A softer smile pulled up the corners of his mouth. “We still have time before I need to go to my meeting, would you two like to walk with me?”

Master-list

#My writing #hero and villain #scientist x supervillain #corrupt hero #corrupt agency #child death #murder #the very last bit got lost and I frankly do not have the energy to re-write it #it just had a description of the memorial they made to the lost clones #I'm sorry this is late but I lost two of my pets and I needed time to grieve #uh hang on this needs a title #uh #a dozen for a dime

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ratgirlcopia · 4 months

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this is just all the ghost chapters plus how painful* they are to watch and why. and also kind of just a synopsis of all the parts i consider important. and also some analysis. i don't really know what this is but it's very long.

*"pain" here being defined as the intended impact of this sort of cringe comedy but also genuine emotional pain.

chapter 1: new blood. extremely easy to watch. a 0/10 on the pain scale. it's a funny, charming introduction to nihil and imperator.

chapter 2: the cardinal. pretty easy to watch. a 0.5/10 on the pain scale. pain here attributed to nihil immediately turning away from copia in order to talk about him like he's not there. it's hilarious. (other points of note that nobody talks about: copia refers to nihil + imperator as "your dark excellencies" here and never again. imperator refers to copia as nihil's "right hand man" which makes nihil being so immediately dismissive of him even funnier.)

chapter 3: back on the road. extremely easy to watch. a 0/10 on the pain scale. this one is just regular old goofs. and they're great goofs. the abrupt cut of pro memoria into the van being shut with the bodies in it, imperator slapping the side of the van, the voiceover at the end. it's great. DISCLAIMER: pain rating here does not take into consideration the comical inaccuracies in how the embalming process is depicted and assumes this goof was semi-unintentional.

chapter 4: the accident. extremely easy to watch. another 0/10. i'm noticing a pattern here regarding the pain scale and copia's presence (or lack thereof). this one is just regular goofs. the classic "imperator listens to miasma so hard she drives off a cliff and footage of five different exploding cars plays." it's great. the nihil/imperator interactions always have the same general vibe to them, and that vibe always tends to be really funny.

chapter 5: the call. pretty easy to watch. it gets a 1/10 because of the extremely heavyhanded omen references that parallel the ghost narrative. nihil talking about how "one, two, and three are all very good" but christ appearing at the end of 3 is a "shitty ending" feels very much like a parallel to him being annoyed about copia taking over. "when you start episode 4, you have to do a lot of rebuilding." (point of note that nobody talks about: imperator gets a call from "the old one himself" and this is never acknowledged again).

chapter 6: the visit. NOT easy to watch. it gets a 5/10. copia opens the door. copia closes the door. the nurse looks like she wants him dead (judging from the 2023 halloween quiz, he may be experiencing gender envy here as the nurse does have that cornette-y hat, but...pure speculation). cardinal. sister. papa. cardinal. sister. cardinal. sister. this is the chapter with the first instance of prolonged copia dialogue, and it shows. it is agonizing, but it is funny.

chapter 7: new world redro. very easy to watch. it gets a 0/10 on the pain scale. copia crashing into the wall on the tricycle is a classic bit, but i feel like that bit overshadowed every other implication in this chapter. it needs a longer breakdown.

the "previously on" sequence at the beginning emphasizes nihil being "all out of progeny" and copia not being part of the bloodline

however, everything after that implies copia is nihil's kid

nihil refers to him as "that boy" while at the typewriter

in nihil's dream sequence, the typewriter paper says "all work and no play makes papa a bad dad." we know he was a bad dad to the other three, but they're dead. why would he dream that he's repeatedly typing this while he's in his office and copia's riding around on a tricycle unless he was still actively being a bad dad?

this dream sequence also has him sleepwalking and encountering young imperator and his younger self. bad dad + remembering the era when copia was conceived = narrative implication and nihil's internal suspicion that he is copia's dad.

chapter 8: kiss the go-goat. this almost doesn't count, since it's mostly just the go-goat music video, but let's give it a 1/10 on the pain scale just for young nihil's existence. it's a great music video, and it also retcons some earlier ghost lore (namely, that the ministry is in sweden. from this point onward, it's pretty clear that they've historically been in los angeles). and then imperator's obviously pregnant with nihil's kid here.

chapter 9: tomb it may concern. compared to 1-8, i imagine this chapter felt like 9/11 when it came out. and that's the rating it gets. a nine out of eleven on the pain scale (9/10. technically).

this is the first time we see copia in a casual context. imperator calls, is immediately annoyed that copia has already recovered from the two-for-one plastic surgery, and almost calls herself his mom.

"my nose is now very delicate." "my jaw is a little bit overdone, i guess."

imperator is checking herself out in the camera for a good chunk of this, even though she's the one who initiated the call.

copia suggesting he dye his hair, emphasizing that he has nihil's white eye, imperator dodging this with innuendo so she doesn't have to verbally acknowledge copia's parentage.

copia then faking a bad connection and trying to get her off the call. the "i love you. i like you?" that goes fully unacknowledged. imperator's "aren't you supposed to be working?" and then her skeptical/unimpressed face as the call ends.

it's a waking nightmare. it's unwatchable. it's the best chapter so far, and maybe the best chapter overall.

chapter 10: home coming & special guests. pretty watchable. probably a 3/10 for copia's general demeanor and interactions with saltarian. more lore focused and less goof focused.

the implication here is that copia has always lived at the ministry and this has always been his bedroom, so he was probably at a hotel while recovering from the plastic surgery.

in the "i can't call you papa" discussion, the heavy handed implication is that nihil is copia's father, and imperator has not explicitly told copia that nihil is his dad (saying "i think so" when asked if he understands why she can't call him papa), even though copia can tell and has tried to get her to acknowledge it via the eye comment in 9.

imperator calling him "c" and "cardi" more or less confirms at the very least that "copia" is a name and not a title, though i'm personally also a "'cardinal' is his actual given name and also not a title" truther. anyway.

he cracks his spine with the worst noise i've ever heard and rides a tricycle up to the door to greet saltarian. the implication of the tricycle here (especially since he was shown with a full-size one in the prequelle-era chapters) could be that he's kind of symbolically outgrown that era, which i always thought was a fun touch.

both copia and saltarian also ring that doorbell WAY too many times when they're coming in, unless it's the kind of doorbell that just keeps going after you press it once.

also, copia clearly knows saltarian and wants to be friendly with him. saltarian seems to think copia's a bit of a goof-off and knows him well enough to know it's definitely copia's tricycle.

the "i can smell it" comment probably refers to nihil's dead body.

chapter 11: family dinner. incredibly painful watch. probably an 8/10.

imperator kicks a football into copia's head and everyone but copia is amused by this, and imperator's "oh, stop" seems to be directed at copia's sarcastic comment to nihil rather than nihil laughing at him. then copia's "i'm very happy. i'm very very happy" after this hits as possibly the least true statement he's ever made, but at the same time, his tone says he believes it.

copia's joke about the beijing beef phasing through nihil's body because he's a ghost is met with a few laughs, so he doubles down on this joke and drags it out a bit longer than necessary.

"you can't act. i can act" "i can too act. look, that's just totally your opinion, dude." should win an award.

imperator's facial expressions here indicate that she agrees with nihil, and when copia says that he's lost his appetite, she rolls her eyes. imperator is at least 50% of the decisionmaking process behind copia doing tv (if not more, since she seems to be in charge of everything), she has just as little faith in his acting ability, just as little respect for him, but has nihil tell him this. and it works. copia gets up, addresses her and saltarian normally, and transfers his hurt and annoyance onto JUST nihil by calling him "dickhead."

and of course the scene ends with nihil trying and failing to eat beijing beef just like copia said, thereby giving copia some credibility as the only rational person there.

chapter 12: ghost goes hollywood. the most painful chapter to watch, both emotionally and from a cringe comedy perspective. it gets the only 10/10.

copia introduces himself as "c," which is notable because it again solidifies that at least one part of "cardinal copia" is his actual name, and also indicates that imperator not calling him "papa" was enough for him to stop introducing himself as such (then again, maybe he wants the audition tape to rely more on his skills than his title).

then he proceeds to misquote, in order: a few good men, terminator 2, the sixth sense, jaws, apocalypse now, john wick, wayne's world, the maltese falcon, zoolander, scent of a woman, terminator, terminator 2 again, silence of the lambs, the matrix, air force one, jerry maguire, the warriors, rocky, [no clue], who framed roger rabbit, snakes on a plane, star wars, ace ventura, the truman show.

and then he takes the tape outside and puts it in the mailbox like sophie in mamma mia, and somehow the only unfilmed movie reference there is the only one that actually hits with some level of sincerity. and then it's over.

chapter 13: the beach life. it gets a 3/10 because that's pretty much the baseline for copia interacting with saltarian, but it's actually a very nice, chill chapter.

notable lore additions include that copia can drive. it's also the first time we see him in direct natural sunlight in a chapter video.

he also looks happy to be outside. the hop-skip out of the car, the spin on the porch, etc.

the binocular interaction with saltarian is really funny, with saltarian throwing up the middle finger and devil horns as soon as he realizes copia's watching him, then winking. good goof. the slow fighting montage they have is funny, and they're clearly both having a good time. it almost feels like copia's having TOO good of a time in the grand scale of what he experiences throughout the chapters.

and then he pretends he can hear what saltarian is saying for WAY too long before eventually admitting he can't.

it's interesting that saltarian refers to nihil as "mr. nihil" instead of "papa nihil," which might indicate that saltarian sees nihil as having been demoted since his death + copia's ascension (or maybe he just doesn't use the papa title for anyone). it's a shame saltarian never directly addresses copia by name or title.

it's also interesting that right after this, copia then calls nihil "nihil" instead of "papa" when talking about him to saltarian, like this dismissal of nihil's title made him realize he doesn't have to do that (at least not when nihil isn't around).

chapter 14: road trip. it gets a 7/10. it's incredibly awkward.

copia farts horrifically in the car and tries to pretend he didn't. the first band he can think of that starts with an "s" is salt n pepa.

he says jimi hendrix for "h" (not a band, but imperator pretends this is a fine answer).

then nihil sharts in the car.

imperator's accent is insane in this chapter.

i just realized copia says "you're definitely sharting" instead of "you're definitely charting" when nihil starts talking about mary on a cross. saltarian gets progressively more annoyed with nihil and copia's banter.

nihil wants a tesla. copia thinks this is stupid.

saltarian's "i know when your time is up" line here is usually (mis)interpreted as a threat, but personally i think it's just more of a general reminder to copia that beefing with nihil is not his biggest problem and he needs to stop thinking that enough witty comebacks (or attempts at those) will make things better for him.

chapter 15. this isn't a chapter, they even scrawl over "chapter 15" on the title card. next!

chapter 16: tax season. this one is...painful to watch, but more due to the other implications. it gets a 4/10 for imperator interactions and copia being bad at video games.

saltarian pushes an empty glass coffin down the hall, looks happy about this.

copia is playing a driving miss daisy NES game (not a real thing).

then imperator calls, and copia pretends he's doing taxes. imperator's tone indicates that she knows he is not doing taxes, presumably because she can hear the video game sounds from over the phone/the room next to him.

imperator announces the forum show, and copia sees saltarian going by with the coffin and smiling. copia is concerned about this coffin.

imperator comes in and says it's a "brand new, additional coffin." imperator says he does not need to worry about that, and that "jesus is coming."

copia is visibly confused by this, then shouts "finally!" after imperator has left the room (implications i cannot even begin to process), then resumes his game and selects the "fuck off, miss daisy" dialogue option when asked if he will drive miss daisy to church (a place miss daisy, an elderly jewish woman, would not be going to anyway).

chapter 17: nap time. this one isn't that hard to watch. maybe a 2/10 for the inherent awkwardness of nihil-copia interactions, but it's just kinda goofy.

we see the glass coffin saltarian was pushing around, and that now has nihil in it. boom. mystery solved, especially if we assume in chapter 10, saltarian was talking about the smell of nihil's body. of course he'd be happy to finally get that thing in a coffin.

we also haven't seen nihil's body in a coffin prior to this point, so the coffin was obviously never for copia.

copia drops his juice box straw (the video gets crunchy here for some reason), then pats around in the fog and picks up a wrench and an american flag by mistake while looking for it.

nihil's ghost then comes out of the coffin and copia calls him "pops."

point of note: copia is in a pretty good mood here (at least better than usual in the impera-era chapters), presumably because he realized the coffin was for nihil.

copia says "i brought you something" when lifting up the gold record, but we see him walk into the room at the beginning of the scene and he's very obviously not carrying it then.

copia describes "mary on a cross" as "your old shitty song! well, it's actually quite good, but it's—not that—anyway!" which is a FASCINATING line delivery that makes my brain tick in wild ways, but that's another post.

there's a fly buzzing around. additional support for the "nihil stinks" theory.

copia says "i'll skiddle," presumably meaning "skedaddle."

conclusion

and there we have it! that's all the chapters! wow! overall, most of them are not that painful, but the ones that are...definitely are.

i guess i didn't think about it that much before, but the prequelle-era chapters barely have copia in them, so i can see how really significant aspects of his personality and mannerisms that only show up in the impera-era chapters kinda just...don't make it into a lot of fan interpretations of him, especially for people who were watching these as they came out and built their understanding of him based on that. the prequelle chapters make the ministry seem at least a little more formal than it actually is, but when you take everything into account, you end up with this:

copia has always lived at the ministry, presumably always in that bedroom

copia was nihil's "right-hand man" (probably more like personal assistant) for a long time prior to becoming the ghost frontman

copia is imperator and nihil's kid, but imperator has not explicitly told him this (either that she's his mom or that nihil is his dad) and she instead assumes he understands both of those things based on her weird facial expressions

saltarian works at the ministry but does not live there

at least one component of "cardinal copia" is copia's given name, and there's at least a chance it's "cardinal"

based on the progression of the information gleaned through these chapters, i can make zero educated guesses about the direction the ghovie will take. thank you and goodnight.

#copiaposting #boss makes a dollar i make a dime so i analyze chapters on company time.#there's not a toooon of gender theory to extract from these (ch12 aside) so a general overview post made more sense.#i've said pretty much all of this stuff before across other posts but it's nice to have it all in one place.#chapter tag #<-let's try that. i still won't be able to find this when i need it again.

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