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digitalsobrietyblog · 1 year

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How to use technology to make new friends while studying

It's a story as old as time. You enrol in a program that's in a different city, country or even continent.

Sometimes this means having to adapt to a new culture, new language and new way of life. For many, this is the first time they've been completely on their own - paying their own bills, taking care of their living space and meeting new people.

Being in a new environment means having to adapt. It's challenging because it often forces you to get out of your comfort zone and be the one that drives things forward. While setting up events and asking people out comes naturally to some, most people struggle with anxiety, fear of rejection and other obstacles.

All these troubles are doubled or tripled when you're completely new to a location, without any network to work off of. Studying or working abroad can feel extremely isolating, but it doesn't have to be.

Here's how you can leverage technology to make friends as an adult studying or living in a new city, country or continent:

1. Join Meetup groups and events

Meetup is an extremely useful app/website. You can search up events and groups in your neighbourhood or city. You can sign up to individual events, or become a group member so that you're notified whenever your group organizes an event.

Most events and groups are completely free, so you won't have to worry about any unnecessary fees.

What's more, you don't even have to be physically present to attend. If "real life" friends aren't your thing, there are also plethora of online events you can attend. This option is also great if there aren't any local groups or events that interest you.

This has been one of the main ways I've made a bunch of friends while working and studying abroad.

2. Look into your university's student organizations on Reddit or Facebook

If you're currently studying at a university, you're basically a proverbial fisherman living on a beach.

If you're studying abroad, there are bound to be at least a few dozen, if not hundreds or thousands, of international students in your city who are just like you. They're probably also homesick and trying to fit in. They don't know anyone here either. They want to meet people like them, and make memories that will last them a lifetime, just like you.

Even if the student body of your university doesn't have that many international students, you can still find many people who share your interests and values. You can bond around things you have in common.

The easiest way to start making friends with likeminded people from your university is to look into student organizations. Most universities have at least a few. Some are sports-related, some are focused around a hobby, some are mission-driven, and others organize fun events like parties. Find one dedicated to a topic or activity that interests you, join it, and become an active member.

Try to attend as many events as you can, participate in online discourse, join the group chats and talk to people. It sounds scarier than it actually is. Remember that people who run and attend these events do it because they're passionate and want to meet other passionate people. You share the same goal. Don't be afraid to meet them and show them who you are.

How do you find out if your university has student organizations? You can search them up on Reddit or Facebook. Type something along the lines of:

{Your university} groups

{Your city} groups

{Your university} organizations

{Your university} student organizations

You can also try to find subreddits or Facebook groups for your general student body. Most universities have some social media ran by students to promote their events. Try to find them! I guarantee you that they're going to be thrilled by you wanting to join them.

3. Find websites or apps with your city's events

Most cities with medium to large populations have apps and websites dedicated to listing out events of varying sizes. These can range from bigger events like concerts and stand-up comedy nights with famous comedians to smaller events like reading clubs and canvas painting sessions over a glass of wine. These are public events, and many tend to be completely free.

You can find them fairly easily by searching up Events in {your city}. These sites tend to be pretty popular so they should be somewhere at the top of your search results page.

Even if you think your city is too small for that, or that your country isn't too techy, I highly suggest trying to find them nonetheless. You might be pleasantly surprised!

4. Join Discord groups centered around your interests

If you're a fellow Discord enjoyer, you might be a member of a few Discord servers pertaining to your hobbies, especially gaming. But you might not be very active in most. Well, now I'm going to ask you to actually talk in those groups. Become more active, talk in voice chats, join movie nights, start new events, join and play in the Minecraft server with others. I know, I know, it's not easy. But that's why you should choose one or two servers you care about the most, and really try to get to know the people there. Just make sure everyone you're talking to is comfortable (and of-age)!

If you've never used Discord before, that's okay! If none of the tips above worked for you, try creating a Discord account and joining a few servers centered around a topic or hobby you like. Discord servers are basically like a giant WhatsApp group, but a bit more organized. Most people are really nice, and you can just leave if you don't feel comfortable around some people or in particular servers.

There are two main types of Discord servers: public and private.

Public Discord servers tend to be very large and can be overwhelming sometimes, because there are loads of things happening at any given moment. But they're also much easier to find and they tend to be more active due to the large member pool. Public servers also tend to be more moderated and have a clear hierarchy of admin, moderators and other staff.

Private Discord servers are created by individuals for their friend groups. You won't find these servers online, because they're mostly based on a member inviting you. These groups tend to be smaller and have more freedom. It's easier to integrate into a smaller group like this, because everyone already knows they can trust the other members.

There are many ways to find and join Discord servers. Here's a few ideas that I've used in the past:

Browse through public servers listed on DiscordServers.com.

Go to subreddits dedicated to particular topics, and then look for Discord groups that people list. Sometimes the subreddit has an official Discord server, and sometimes you have to find them up through the search bar. Just type in "Discord" to find them.

Most YouTubers and celebrities have official and unofficial Discord servers, so look in YouTube video descriptions or online for any mention of that.

If you use Twitter, chances are that many of your mutuals are in some Discord servers already. Keep an eye on that and ask to join if they mention it.

5. Use Google Maps to find cool places

No, I'm not setting you up to get murdered haha.

Open your Google or Apple maps app and browse around your town. We usually use these apps when we know the location we want to go to already, but how about using it to find places that look interesting?

These apps have come a long way since their inception, and they're basically full-fledged search browsers now. Type in "cafe", "gaming", "coworking space", "library", "gallery", or similar places you'd like to go to but you don't know if they exist. You might be surprised.

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digitalsobrietyblog · 1 year

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A short 3-step guide on how to build and maintain a better relationship with technology

Many people nowadays report being overwhelmed and distracted by technology and social media. If you're struggling with this, it's important to remember that you're not alone.

Go through your app library or technology drawer and ask yourself these 3 questions:

Does it support what I care about, and/or does it help me become a better me? For example, if your passion is reading, having 20 image sharing apps for "motivation" is not going to help you progress and develop your reading targets.

Is it the best at supporting what I care about, or is there another app or gadget that does it better? There are many apps and websites out there, but you should find the best one for you. That said, you shouldn't spend hundreds of hours sifting through the never-ending options. Find something that works for 80% of your use cases and then get cracking.

How do I feel using it? Does it bring me happiness or joy? There is an infinite number of things you could be doing in life at any point in time. You won't get to do all of the things you want to do. So don't waste your limited and precious time on things that don't make you happy. In conclusion, use technology that supports your goals and that impacts your mental and physical health in a positive way, and then heavily curate it so as to not spread yourself thin. Then the last step is to become comfortable missing out on everything else. Good luck! ❤️

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