#did he think that all those years ago when they did king arthur? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

helloalycia · 8 months

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the king’s ward [one] // morgana pendragon

summary: when you and your brother travel to Camelot to compete in a fighting competition, there's one problem: women can't fight. So, naturally, you convince him to switch places with you whilst you have your chance to fight. And impressing the King's Ward is merely a bonus.

warning/s: mentions of fighting and violence.

author's note: hello! so this was impulse written not long ago when i rewatched merlin bc who doesn't love katie mcgrath? it's inspired by that merlin ep where arthur uses a decoy in his jousting (?) match! and it's kind of like she's the man if you think about it haha, so do enjoy! it's a multi-part imagine :)

two / three / four / masterlist / wattpad

"This is gonna be amazing, Y/B/N," I said with a grin, trying to contain my excitement as we approached the tournament grounds.

"Reign it in," he said lightheartedly, though I knew he was right. I wasn't supposed to be competing, he was, so I had to play the part.

Every year, Camelot held a fighting tournament that anybody could compete in, even those who weren't knights. There were no rules and it was an open competition, however despite nothing explicitly saying women couldn't compete, it was a given. And so every year, I only dreamt of competing so that I could see if I was as good as I hoped. Finally, I came up with the genius idea for my brother, Y/B/N, to pretend to compete whilst I actually did the fighting. It wasn't foolproof, but I was desperate, and he agreed after much convincing.

We'd arrived in Camelot last night, our first ever visit to the kingdom, and were staying in the full to-the-brim tavern in a room above the pub. It wasn't ideal, but it would do the job. The real reason I was here was right before me and I couldn't be more excited.

"Y/B/N Y/L/N?" a voice called, and my brother and I both spun around to see a servant boy approaching. "You're up first. You can use the tent over there to get into your armour, if you have any."

"Thank you," Y/B/N said with a nod before we both headed over to his – AKA mine – tent.

"This is perfect for making the switch," I said with a contained grin, looking around the enclosed space.

"You heard the boy, you're up first," Y/B/N said with a smile, before dropping our bag on the bench. "Let's get you suited up."

He helped me pull my armour over the top of my clothes, a bulky-looking but lightweight set that fit us both and was easy enough for me to manoeuvre in whilst also hiding any distinguishable feminine body parts that could give me away. After that, he handed me my sword and gave me a supportive nod.

"Good luck out there," he said, my helmet in his hand. "You're gonna smash it, sis."

I grinned. "I will indeed. They aren't going to know what's hit them."

He laughed and helped me put on my helmet, the metal covering my whole head except for some slits in the eyes to let me see.

"You ready?" he asked once more, and I gave him a thumbs up, already committing to staying quiet. He patted my back. "Go and win!"

Taking a deep breath, I left the tent and headed to the grounds, the sight of all those people watching only exciting me more. All I'd ever dreamt of was showing people my skills, for them to take me seriously. Not as a woman or a man, but a fighter. And this was my chance, finally. I wasn't going to let it slip by.

"I'm sure you're all excited about the tournament, as am I," the King began to speak, silencing everyone in seconds. "It's going to be a magnificent week of fighting, skill and talent. We shall see who the best fighters of Albion truly are. Starting with our first match of the tournament – Y/B/N Y/L/N versus Henry Wright!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as my opponent and I walked in the centre, our chosen weapons at our side. The King looked down at us both with anticipation, waiting for quiet. And then when he was ready, he raised his hand.

"You may begin," was all he said, and I barely had chance to take a breath before my opponent, Henry, swung first.

His mace, spiked and heavy, almost took my head off if I didn't move in time. The crowd 'ooh'd' as it did and I tried to tune them out, focusing on the fight. I couldn't afford distractions.

As Henry kept moving forward, slashing his mace at me and trying to touch my armour, I dodged effortlessly. Henry may have been strong, but he was slow, and his weapon of choice was particularly terrible. Once he'd worn himself out, it was my turn to take a swing at him, my sword coming down on his gauntlets in a wide arc. Contact was made and he grunted loudly, grossly, and stepped back. I slashed a few more times, to which he was now on the defensive, using his clunky weapon as a barrier. But it didn't faze me as I kept on slashing, trying to back him into the side.

Once he was trapped, I let him take a shot at me, only to roll to the side at the last second and swipe his legs out from beneath him. He hit the ground as quickly as I directed my sword at his neck. Lifting his hands in defeat, I couldn't fight the grin from my lips.

The crowd erupted into cheers, yelling my brother's name, and I lowered my sword before offering out my hand. Henry let me pull him up before letting go bitterly, walking off the grounds. I laughed to myself before looking around me at the crowd, waving a little too cockily. I couldn't help it – I'd won! My first match!

When I turned to face the King, I saw he was clapping in his chair, impressed at my handiwork. Seated beside him was his ward, Morgana, and I'd heard so much of her but never seen her before. I wasn't prepared for her beauty, nor the vibrancy of her green eyes in the sun, even from a distance. And once again, I couldn't help but let my cockiness get the better of me. Between waving, I blew her a kiss, facing her directly in a way that I hoped she knew it was for her. Judging from the way she immediately turned pink in the face, I knew I'd succeeded.

After soaking in the glory a moment longer, I left to return to Y/B/N who was waiting for me in the tent. As soon as he saw me, a grin was on his face.

"Sounds like you gave them a good show," he commented as I rushed to remove my helmet and armour.

"Y/B/N, it was like nothing I've ever experienced," I admitted, still buzzing with adrenaline and excitement. "It was perfect. And you should've seen the way I got the other guy on his butt!"

He chuckled as I helped pull the armour onto him. "I'm sure it was something special. It's a shame I can't watch."

"We can't risk you being caught," I reminded him, before handing my sword and helmet. "Go on. Do your final waves. Don't forget to rub it in their face that I won, yeah?"

He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'm not doing that."

I laughed as he left the tent. My smile was permanent as I stood alone. One round down, several more to go.

"The other guys are pretty rough," Y/B/N said as we hung back to watch the other matches and get a better feel for the competition. "You sure you're up for it?"

"Don't even joke," I said to him with a knowing look. "You know it's all I want. They don't scare me."

He raised his eyebrows. "Hey, I was thinking more about them. They're gonna get smothered and not even know it. You don't wanna give them a chance?"

A smile grew on my lips as I shoved him in the side. "You're so stupid."

He mirrored my smile before paying attention to the fights. We stayed there until the last fight before chatting about what we'd seen by the tents. The crowd was dispersing and the other fighters were talking about getting a drink at the tavern, even inviting my brother to join them. He found it strange, the attention, especially since he knew it wasn't for him. I assured him he had to be a team player and not raise suspicion, but he wasn't impressed.

As we were chatting, I couldn't help but notice a blur of black hair in my peripheral vision, and when I looked, I saw the Lady Morgana walking by with her handmaiden. She spotted my brother and I and, naturally, her attention was on my brother. She flashed him a smile, to which he awkwardly returned, and then began to approach us.

"Er, why is the Lady Morgana coming to talk to us?" Y/B/N asked nervously.

"No idea," I said, though my own smile was tempting to break out as my eyes wandered over her figure. She was seriously stunning.

"Hello there," Morgana spoke when she stopped before us. "It's Y/B/N, right?"

He nodded slowly, before clearing his throat and bowing. "A pleasure to meet you, my lady."

"Please, no need for the formalities," she said with a slight laugh, one that I knew I'd be dreaming of for days. "I just came to say that you put up a good fight this morning. I look forward to seeing your performance throughout the week."

"Thank you, my lady," was all he said, and I almost rolled my eyes at his dense self. Couldn't he see she was interested him?

"And who is this pretty lady?" she continued, and I realised she was speaking to me.

"I'm Y/N, my lady," I introduced myself with a smile. "Y/B/N's twin sister. Not identical, thankfully."

Y/B/N rolled his eyes as Morgana laughed at my joke.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you, Y/N," she said, eyes lingering on mine. "Might I say, you have a very talented brother."

I hummed in agreement, biting my tongue and trying not to laugh. Talented... I'd take it.

"I should be going, but have a good evening, both of you," Morgana finished, glancing between us before leaving.

"Y/N, what did you do? Why is she suddenly interested?" Y/B/N asked as I watched her walk away, entranced.

"Nothing," I reassured him, before tearing my gaze from Morgana and looking to Y/B/N. "What? I didn't do anything!"

He rolled his eyes and shoved me before walking away. I bit my lip to contain a grin and skipped after him. I was beginning to like it here.

The next fight was soon upon me and it was safe to say that I was nailing it. My opponent was supposed to be a challenge, but I could swear it was only getting easier. He was over six feet tall and towering over me. Compared to me AKA Y/B/N, he was huge. Luckily for me, height wasn't an issue as my brother and I were close enough in height, a solid five foot eight and nine respectively, so it wouldn't give us away.

The fight was over in minutes, with me landing a winning blow to my clown of an opponent, right in the gut. As soon as he was down, the crowd were up and out of their seats, cheering me on. The intensity of their cheering surprised me at first, as I didn't realise they loved me so much. It took them longer to calm down, and a few flowers were thrown from the stands, making me grin as I waved at them. When I looked to the King, he was surprisingly smiling as he clapped his leather-gloved hands heavily. Morgana was stood up beside him, clapping with the crowd, and I couldn't stop myself.

Without thinking, I picked up a flower from the ground, dusted it off on my armour and threw it up to her. I was relieved when it landed at her feet, worried I'd missed, and she seemed surprised as she picked it up. When she looked at me, I bowed respectfully, making the crowd cheer even louder, and I tried to pretend I couldn't see King Uther losing his smile as he looked at me with suspicion. Oops?

I jogged back to the tent, feeling lightweight and overwhelmingly happy. Y/B/N clapped me on the back in congratulations before we exchanged gear and he headed back out to reveal his face, waving once more.

After he soaked in the glory for a little longer, I packed up our things and we left the tent to get some water. A few knights, to our surprise, approached us and began chatting to Y/B/N about his technique. He played along perfectly, since he was a decent fighter himself, and I merely watched as they spoke of my moves and skill, grinning to myself. Clearly I was doing better than I thought if the knights of Camelot were complimenting me.

"Hey, Y/B/N," a voice called from behind, and we both turned to see a flirtatiously-smiling Morgana walking past. She nodded at my brother, saying, "The flower was cute."

Poor Y/B/N was clueless. "The flower?"

Morgana laughed, thinking he was joking, and left. I suppressed a smile as we both turned to the knights. One of them gave Y/B/N a knowing look.

"Bold move giving the King's ward a flower right in front of the King himself," they said with a snicker, before leaving.

Y/B/N blinked and began to turn to me. "I did what?"

I smiled sheepishly. "What? She was impressed by my skill! How could I resist?"

"Y/N!"

"Look, she's pretty and she deserved it, okay?" I said nonchalantly. "It's no biggie."

He facepalmed and I could tell he was already regretting changing places with me.

Later that same evening, Y/B/N and I were making the most of the training grounds that Prince Arthur was letting the contestants use for the week. To everyone else, I was merely practicing with him, but to us, he was actually helping me practice.

For the third time in five minutes, I knocked Y/B/N on his butt and laughed at the expression on his face.

"C'mon, at least give me some sort of challenge," I teased, holding out my hand for him.

He let me help him up as he gave me a knowing look. "Don't be too good or people will suspect."

I scoffed. "Nobody will think twice about me."

"Oh yeah, because you're so inconspicuous dressed like that," he said sarcastically.

I ignored him, though I knew he was only looking out for me. Ladies wore frocks and dresses, not pants and shirts. But I didn't like to be restricted – why was that such a bad thing? I hated that I had to put myself in a box just to make others feel comfortable. It wasn't fair.

"Are you ready?" I asked, readying my sword.

He nodded and did the same before coming at me without warning. I held my own well enough, even with him giving his all, and with the utmost satisfaction, I managed to land him on his butt yet again. He narrowed his eyes at me and I began to laugh before pissing him off that little bit more by twiddling the hilt of my sword on my forefinger in the air, watching it spin before catching it. It was a silly little celebratory move I liked to do, one that Y/B/N hated because it usually meant I had beaten him.

Grumbling to himself, Y/B/N helped himself stand up as I watched on with amusement.

"Impressive."

Surprised, I turned around and definitely didn't expect to see the Lady Morgana approaching us.

"You're almost as good as your brother," she commented, looking at me.

Smile fading slightly, I tried not to draw anymore attention to myself. "Something like that."

She lifted a brow curiously. "It's a shame you couldn't compete. You're better than half the men in this competition."

"It's just how it is, my lady. The King's rules," I said, though I was secretly smiling because she thought I was good. As me, the real me, not my brother.

"If it were up to me, I'd have loved to watch you fight," she said, making me smile to myself. I risked glancing at her and saw she was watching me with her own smile, before looking to my brother.

"Good luck tomorrow," she said to him considerately.

"Thank you, my lady," Y/B/N said, bowing.

She nodded her head at him before catching my staring, offering a smile, then leaving.

"Gosh, she's so pretty," I said, unable to look away from her.

"Not here, not now," Y/B/N said in a warning tone before slapping me on the back.

"I'm gonna win just to see her smile," I decided, finally looking away from her retreating figure.

Y/B/N rolled his eyes, shaking his head with disbelief. I raised an eyebrow challengingly.

"Another round?"

"No way," he said immediately, making me laugh as I watched him walk away.

"Like you always do," I whispered to myself as I stood face to face with my next opponent. "Come on."

My opponent carried a sword and shield and was very good with both, as I'd seen him using it these past few days. Probably the first real challenge I had, I was a little nervous, but one look at my sword reminded me why I was here and what I was capable of. I wasn't going to let this man throw me off.

As we fought, I quickly realised he wasn't going to tire out easily. As quick as he was skilful, he dodged all of my slashes, blocked all of my stabs and avoided all of my feigned shots. He was too good, keeping me on my toes. I was growing tired as the minutes dragged on and he knew this, using it as his opportunity to slam his shield against me, knocking me back. I tuned out the audience's reactions, shaking my head to get back into it.

I let him believe he was going in for a strike before rolling out the way and slashing the back of his legs. He groaned as he spun around, blocking my next hit. This seemed to piss him off as he came at me quick and hard, striking every second and driving me further and further backwards. One sturdy hit with his shield and I was on my back. Just as he tried to strike me, I rolled out the way and stood up, putting some distance between us.

Collecting myself, I saw that he pulled his shield over him once more and knew I needed to use that to my advantage. He wasn't going to let it go, no matter how hard I hit it. And I was already growing tired, my body battered and bruised, my energy depleting. If he kept going like this, he'd surely win. And I couldn't let him.

A stupid idea came to my head and I figured it was worth a shot if I was already losing. Why not?

Running directly at my opponent, I watched as he tucked in, shield up and ready to block my hit. Just when he was about to shove it towards me, I used the momentum to jump on it, over his head and hitting the ground, just about. I was so shocked it worked that I almost forgot to use his own surprise to my advantage. Without wasting a second, I spun around and smacked the hilt of my sword at the back of his head, knocking him to the ground. Worried I'd hit him too hard, I kneeled down to listen in.

When he let out a breath, I sighed with relief and stood up, eyes closing for a moment. Then the stands shook as everyone stood up, cheering and yelling and clapping, and I opened my eyes with a smile. As I waved my sword hand in the air, bowing, the cheering only intensified and I couldn't stop grinning. Admittedly, the thrill of it all got to my head and I began to show off, waving to the crowd on all sides. Just because I could, I twiddled my sword on the tip of my gloved forefinger in the air and threw it up before catching it by the hilt. The crowd seemed to love it and a grin was permanently fixed on my face as I left the grounds to return to my tent.

"That's the loudest I've ever heard them," Y/B/N said as soon as he saw me. "What did you do?"

"Whatever I could," I said between a laugh, before pulling off my helmet. "Get me out of this, I'm so hot."

He chuckled and helped me out of it, and I helped him into it as usual. Giving him his sword and helmet, I sent him off before taking a deep breath and drinking lots of water. My body was aching and there were definitely bruises all along my legs and chest, but I didn't care because that was insane. How the hell did I manage that?! Whatever it was, it was incredible and I couldn't wait to do it again in my next fight.

Y/B/N returned after soaking in the glory, pulling off the armour and ready to help me pack it all away, but to both of our surprises, Prince Arthur walked in the tent.

"Hello," he greeted awkwardly, before looking to Y/B/N. "You fought excellently today. I wanted to ask if you'd have a word with me outside."

I hid my smile as my brother nodded, exchanging glances with me before following after the prince. Prince Arthur was impressed by me? No way. There was no way! I'd have to fight him soon enough, since he was also competing, but who cared? He was impressed!

I tried to contain my excitement as I went about packing away my armour, stuck in my own daydream land. So much, in fact, that I didn't hear anybody enter the tent behind me.

"It's you!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a familiar voice came out of nowhere. Spinning around, I was surprised to see the Lady Morgana standing there with a shocked smile on her face.

"Huh?"

She licked her lips, stepping fully inside the tent and glancing behind her, before looking to me. Lowering her voice, she said, "It's you. The fighting out there. It's not your brother, it's you."

When I finally managed to stop getting distracted by her pretty smile and listened to what she was saying, my own smile faded.

Swallowing hard, I played dumb. "What? That's crazy."

I tried to busy myself with packing my bag whilst also panicking inside, but she kept going with it.

"The sword trick at the end," she stated with confidence. "Where you twirl it on your finger. You did the same thing when you beat your brother yesterday. It's you, isn't?"

I closed my eyes, cursing myself at my stupidity. The damned sword trick. Why did I have to let my cockiness get the better of me?

"Maybe," I admitted, turning to face her, and she smiled to herself.

"I bloody knew it! Well– okay, maybe I didn't, but it makes sense," she said. "Your brother acts like a completely different person out on the grounds compared to when he's literally anywhere else. Because it's not him."

I stayed quiet, both embarrassed that I'd been caught out and nervous to what it meant for me.

"Wait," she realised, pausing, and I could practically see her brain working everything out. Green eyes met mine as she asked, "The flower. Blowing me the kiss. That was... that was you?"

If only the earth could swallow me up there and then.

"I was committing to the role...?" I said dumbly, making me her chuckle. Beginning to panic even more now, I said, "Look, if I'm in trouble, please don't punish Y/B/N. He didn't even want to do this, but I made him. It was the only way I could compete. I just wanted to see how far I could get."

She furrowed her brows, a confused smile on her face. "Y/N, you're not in trouble."

I blinked, taken aback. "I'm not in... huh?"

"I won't tell a soul," she promised, expression softening. "Keep doing what you're doing. You've single-handedly impressed every member of the court, all the knights, the prince and the King himself. You're amazing, Y/N."

At her words, I began to smile, feeling a sense of pride take over. "Why are you doing this?"

She shrugged, playing coy. "Maybe it's women sticking together. Maybe it's because I enjoy watching you fight. Or maybe I don't want to see you getting punished for being such a good fighter."

I sighed quietly, a sense of relief spreading through me. "Whatever it is, thank you, my lady. Truly."

"It's Morgana," she corrected, eyes flickering between mine.

I pursed my lips to stop my smile from widening, and then she stepped forward and kissed my cheek, making me freeze at the contact.

"And thank you for the flower," she whispered in my ear, before stepping back.

My mouth went dry as I watched her red lips curled into a smile before she left the tent. I was certain I was as red as her lipstick, my heart racing in my chest. A grin soon formed on my lips and I couldn't stop.

Moments later, Y/B/N returned and seemed surprised with his chat with Prince Arthur, but I was too distracted thinking about Morgana, my cheek still tingling from her touch.

"The prince wanted to personally congratulate me on my progress thus far," Y/B/N shared. "He hopes to see me make it to the finals so he can see what I'm all about up close."

His words went in one ear and out the other. Did Morgana always smell of jasmine, I wondered?

"Seriously? I thought you'd be dying to know more," Y/B/N said with suspicion.

"What?" I finally tuned back in, kind of. "Yeah, that's great, Y/B/N."

He studied me curiously. "I just saw the Lady Morgana leave here. What did she want?"

"Huh?" I asked, half listening.

"Y/N!" he said, startling me.

Finally, his words settled and I answered, "She just wanted to compliment how great you did today."

"How kind," he said, not believing me.

I couldn't tell him that she actually knew the truth – he'd get cold feet and back out of the competition, and then I'd never get to prove myself. Besides, Morgana said she wouldn't tell anyone, so we were still good to go. What Y/B/N didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Wait," I said, finally acknowledging what he said earlier. "What did Prince Arthur say about me?"

Y/B/N groaned dramatically and grabbed the bag of armour, ignoring me. I was forced to chase after him, doing his head in about everything the prince said.

#morgana x reader #morgana pendragon x reader #morgana pendragon #merlin #bbc merlin #merlin imagine #katie mcgrath

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none-ofthisnonsense · 2 months

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Merlin liveblog (partly for @thisisjustmefangirling )

Season 1 Episode 1:

I’m halfway through the first episode, and so far HOW IS MERLIN SO LUCKY ALL THE TIME. (Also, why has everyone been in Doctor Who?!)

I’m coming into this with some background - I think I watched the first 5 episodes a few years ago? But I don’t really remember them well. Apart from being shot in the heart by Katie McGrath’s beautiful outfits. And also, being on tumblr, I have some mutuals who are fans of it, or I’ve seen gifsets when scrolling through some blogs. And I also do know basic Arthuriana, so I can guess in what position some characters are meant to end up. I’ve got a little background knowledge but not that much. Onto the liveblog!

Merlin you’re behaving like a dramatic teen. Which I guess you are, I don’t really know how old you are.

“Look, I’ve told you you’re an ass, I just didn’t realise you were a royal one.” BEST BOY MERLIN but also he can definitely hurt you and holds power maybe don’t challenge your social superiors too much Merlin mmk?

Merlin. Don’t challenge him. You won’t win.

Yeah tbh if I were Arthur I’d probably laugh too.

Merlin he’s been training his whole life and has power and has weapons and has armour WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN YOU AREN’T ALLOWED MAGIC

“Wow. And how long have you been training to be a prat?” See Merlin gets the best lines but that’s dangerous for him.

Slight discrepancy: how does Arthur know Merlin’s name?

Yeah if I were Gaius I’d have that reaction too. Merlin has NO self-preservation instinct.

I like the music. (Also apparently this was filmed at Pierrefonds, so that’s cool!)

YEAH “OH GOD” WHAT DID YOU THINK MERLIN??? That you’d win??!

(Let’s just pause for a moment and appreciate all those historical inaccuracies. They’re painful but also there are so many it almost warms my heart. They’ve COMMITTED to being historically inaccurate. Though I suppose this is fantasy anyway.)

I like both leads’ actors.

And of course he sees Gaius and loses.

“He may be an idiot, but he’s a brave one.” Merlin summarised in one sentence. This boy is DUMB.

“There’s something about you, Merlin. I can’t quite put my finger on it.” See I’m starting to get why this was explained to me as Destiel before Destiel.

“How could you be so foolish?” We are all, at heart, Gaius.

See Merlin’s problem is he wants to be special. Not to be that person but you’re a servant in the (fantasy) Middle Ages you were always going to be a nobody. Being special is very 2000s not so much 1300s.

Aaaand he’s a dramatic emo boy.

Gaius we love you. You’re so kind and honestly the most relatable character. Gaius is great I love him.

OUCH that looks like it hurts.

Oh fantasy medieval painkillers! That’s cool.

It’s not that I don’t like Eve Myles but I specifically chose Merlin to avoid seeing her and John Barrowman all the time. So. I’ve been seeing her pretty much nonstop for a few weeks. I was sort of hoping to catch a break.

Uther is realistic. (As much as a fantasy character from the fictional Middle Ages playing a mythological king from a fictional kingdom can be realistic, but he is!) Both as a father and as a king. I don’t necessarily agree with him, but he’s definitely the most fleshed out character so far.

That voice is creepy and after watching Torchwood CoE it reminds me of the 456.

Merlin come on. Really?

The camera work on this series is………interesting.

Y a un couvre-feu ou quoi? Pourquoi y a personne dans la cour?

Merlin you’re having too much fun with those dice.

Ohhhh is this the dragon Gaius told him about?

OKAY YEAH IT IS DEFINITELY I didn’t expect us to see the dragon so quickly.

So he has a destiny. Great. We already knew that. But I guess this is establishing characters.

Merlin not understanding is me. Yeah I’m confused too don’t worry.

“If anyone wants to kill him, they can go ahead, in fact I’ll lend them a hand.” At least Merlin is coherent, and funny. If extremely dumb and foolish.

“No. No. There must be another Arthur, because this one’s an idiot.” BAHAHA OKAY THAT’S FUNNY

Oh we get the theme music again when Merlin is asking all his questions.

Yeah again Gaius I get you. Also that’s the bedroom of a teenage boy what did you expect, did you want it to be clean? Gaius you’re aiming too high. I have a 15-year-old brother the most I can wish for is for him to open the window once in a while.

One thing I do like is how well-lit the castle is. It’s nice for once.

Oh please tell me he isn’t getting a crush on Morgana. Noooooo please why does every character always have a crush in these shows can my aroace heart be soothed for a while instead of crushed at every occasion

Merlin is a teenage boy with hormones okay. Check.

Okay Merlin just squeaking to imitate Gwen is funny.

Gwen where are you though?

And she arrives! Gwen and Gaius are easily the most relatable people.

I loooove candle lighting.

OHHHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THE REFLECTION THING NOOOO WHY IS SHE DYING

Oh so Merlin and Arthur have spotted each other- nope that’s just Katie McGrath in an incredible dress that won’t be invented for centuries but since when is accuracy the point of this show. The inaccuracies make it better

Isn’t she your cousin or something Arthur?

Gwen is so sweet! But also. The foreshadowing is starting. “Not that I’d want to marry Arthur.” WELL YOUR NAME IS GUINEVERE. SO I GUESS YOU’RE HEADING THERE ANYWAY GWEN I really hope he improves.

“No, I like much more ordinary men like you.” Gwen is realistic! She doesn’t have ideas above her social station! Finally a character who has some knowledge of where they stand! But also no Gwen please don’t fall in love with Merlin that’s just a bad idea

Gwen deserves better than this world. She’s so sweet and nice and frankly dealing with stuff she isn’t paid for enough. #GiveGwenARaise

Oh phew thank god it’s established she doesn’t like him I don’t think I could have borne it.

Merlin is very much a self-centred emo teenager while Gwen is reasonable and sweet and dealing with so much bullshit I promise Gwen you deserve so much better than dealing with him.

Guys believing the female characters for once would have made a nice change. I guess not, huh?

I love Uther’s voice.

I almost expected her to start singing Memory from Cats but no it makes sense that she’s singing something else actually

I’m 95% sure Eve Myles is dubbed here but also medieval music had lyrics.

OH IT’S A SPELL

The darkening as the spell takes effect is well-done and a touch I wouldn’t have imagined. But also what in the Sleeping Beauty

Merlin I thought you said you’d help anyone trying to kill Arthur? Apparently not, huh?

Those cobwebs look sticky.

How has Merlin not gotten caught yet?!

So he saved Arthur’s life huh. Quite a different reaction to twenty minutes ago. Is this character growth? Or is it him realising how bad it would be if A died? (Or am I just having fun interpreting his joke too literally)

“You shall be Prince Arthur’s manservant.” BAHAHA I LOVE UTHER

the absolute DESPAIR on M and A’s faces

Gaius is having fun.

Oooh a magic book! This’ll be interesting!

Aaand the episode ends.

#I maybe won’t do these posts that often in case I binge #Merlin #bbc Merlin #Merlin s1 #Merlin s1e1 #the dragon’s call #merlin liveblog

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derekscorner · 3 months

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Fated Rantings: Heaven's Felt

I have finished Heaven's Feel (all three films)

And hot damn what a story that was. As early as the first movie I found myself enjoying the route more than I did with Unlimited Blade Works.

It wasn't that strong a notion at first due to the first movie having to set up the story which means it had to retrace some moments from Fate or UBW. I was even disappointed that it just skimmed over Shirou meeting Saber for the first time.

I did expect it to skim some moments due to the nature of Fate/Stay Night. I said it previously but Fate/Stay Night was originally a visual novel (one that is getting a remaster for Steam/Switch as of me writing this) with multiple routes and endings. A staple of the visual novel format.

As a result each route has the same starting point. Some may feel it wear on them if they watch these back to back like I've done since last year.

Even so, I can't say it bothered me that much. Yes, Skimming over the summoning of Saber let me down a tad but the rest of the first movies opening act was decent. I liked seeing the different perspectives of the scenes I had saw in Unlimited Blade Works just a week ago.

It is also fair to mention that movies of a series typically expect you to have seen the thing it's based on to begin with.

Then the second half of the movie kicks in. The changes began rather quickly which I was thankful for. As soon as Kirei mentioned Kiritsugu's previous occupation and the 4th war I realized the story would shift- THEN BAM!

That Berserker battle. It was brief but that movie budget made it so good. It was then that I also noticed another change, the movies are more graphic than Zero or UBW.

In this movie, when Shirou takes a hit for Saber from Berseker, you see his guts fly out as he rolls around like a busted toy. It doesn't escalate to high but you do see inside of large cuts or severed limbs. And I am only praising it because it actually added to the horror-like atmosphere Heaven's Feel has.

All three movies feel like they were drawn to be a horror film in many scenes. The way the shadows bend or literally come alive, the way servants are mercilessly hunted by Angra Mainyu, or even the Sakura dream sequence only to learn she's eating people.

The gore just makes it hit harder how terrifying the situation is in Heaven's Feel.

Down 'n Dirty

The gore and horror presentation aside there was another factor I was curious about, the romance. Now some reading this may wonder why and others will think they know why and that has to do with Fate's reputation of hentai.

The original visual novel had hentai scenes in it, that is an objective truth. So did its canonical sequel Ataraxia. This was done because Nasu thought it would help sell the story and...well they were right.

The whole initial reason King Arthur was gender bent into a woman was also for this logic. He knew his native Japanese market and appealed to it.

Once Type-Moon got going those hentai scenes were removed. Later stories lacked it at all. Yes, the artwork and designs for characters is definitely made with sex appeal in mind but it's a far cry from where it started.

To be honest I find the whole thing fascinating because the series tendency for gender bending and "coomer" art is based in a writer just trying to appeal to the broadest audience.

They even use this for in-lore jokes quite often. For instance, the original draft of Fate/Stay Night, the world in which King Arthur is still a man, was reworked into Fate/Prototype years later.

They even do this fun thing where the voice actors for Merlin and female Artoria swap roles in Fate/Prototype. Female Arthur voices the female Merlin and the male Merlin now voices the male Arthur.

Some gender bends are literal jokes such as the female Nero Claudius (seen in the gif above^) who was gender swapped just to trick Fate fans into thinking Saber (Artoria) was in Fate Extra.

And others are that way because that historical figure was believed to be a woman or it was left ambiguous such as Nagao Kagetora.

Aka Nasu is very self aware of the Fate gender bending and porn jokes and plays into it.

Back to Romance

I went a bit off tangent there but I needed to explain that bit to focus on why the romance between Shirou & Sakura was a curiosity for me. In my desire to learn Fate lore I saw more than one video or fan comment quoting Nasu and others at Type-Moon.

One thing that stuck in my mind was that the initial Saber and Rin scenes were added just to balance it all but the scenes with Sakura were considered crucial to her plot.

I now understand why. No, before you ask, you do not get a hentai scene in Heaven's Feel. However, Heaven's Feel does fully commit to the physical nature that Sakura & Shirous relationship grows too.

Yes dear reader, Shirou gets laid. Get your middle school snickering out of your system, I'll wait.

The whole film just hammers home just how much Shirou existing means to Sakura. For them to go that far only seems natural, for her to hold on despite her horrible life makes sense.

This poor girl was violated years on end by crest worms as Zouken warped her into a fake grail. Her adoptive brother raped her for years on end just because he's a little shit with inferiority complexes.

Hell, Sakura is still traumatized by her father giving her to the Matou's in Fate/Zero.

Despite all that, even though she believes Shirou wouldn't want her for being so...um "damaged", he sticks by her side anyway. All together it makes that bond very genuine.

There's no forced melodrama or silly misunderstandings, just two kids trapped in a mess with no idea what to do.

A more complete Continuation

Even now I sit here in awe of it. I have sit through Fate 2006 and Unlimited Blade Works, two works in which Sakura is barely a passing note. Hell, even in Fate/Zero she's barely there but Heaven's Feel made me care.

It goes beyond that though. I found Heaven's Feel to be a better or more complete resolution to the mess left behind by the 4th Grail war depicted in Fate/Zero.

There are some questions I had throughout such as;

Why did Zouken summon Assassin in this route but not others?

Did a fragment of the grail survive in every route or is that a Heaven's Feel thing only?

Why didn't Rin have Shirou make the jeweled sword in UBW?

Why did Gilgamesh attack Sakura? Is he not for Kirei's plans in HF?

Small things like that. They don't break anything at all but I felt that I should mention them because I still think Heaven's Feel is a better continuation of Fate/Zero than Unlimited Blade Works despite such questions.

There is no grand reasoning for my feelings. I just liked that Heaven's Feel addressed things left behind in Fate/Zero more than Unlimited Blade Works did.

Such as Illya. She got so little time in UBW that I was a bit shocked. Even Fate 2006 gave her some attention. I mean, know each Fate work is a timeline of it's own but UBW and Heaven's Feel both heavily reference Zero.

All three were made by ufotable after all so it makes sense. Anime only fans may even see ufotable's adaptions as their own pocket in the Type-Moon multiverse.

I was sad her happy ending was to die but I can't help but feel slightly happy for her since she was shown running to Irisviel who's soul has been in the grail since Fate/Zero ended.

They even went out of their way to animate a scene that I can only assume was a minor one in the visual novel. It's a scene in which Illya over hears Fujimura talk about Kiritsugu's many trips to Europe. He failed her in many ways but he never stopped trying to see his daughter.

Then there was Rin. The story gave her less attention as I'd expect but I feel that it compliments how she's portrayed in UBW or even Fate 2006.

It was a nice touch that the one who made it possible to save Sakura was Rin. She has her own baggage about Sakura's life and while blunt and unable to relate to her trauma (by her own admission) she still got through to Sakura and all it took was letting her know that she loved her.

That's fucking beautiful man. Shirou even mumbles that they won due to Rin's actions.

There's also the aforementioned Kiritsugu. Shirou gets more insight into his fathers life and previous actions than other routes. It played into Kirei's obsession with him and Shirou's.

Shirou himself has a much more compelling arc in Heaven's Feel than UBW or even the Fate Route. Thanks to what he learns about his father he focuses on being a hero of justice but this time for Sakura.

His ideals aren't as foolish, they're focused. When he is focused on being one person's hero over everyone's he becomes a much more interesting character to me.

Hell, Zouken tries to convince him to kill Sakura at one point thinking that he'll do it because Kiritsugu would but no. Shirou acknowledges that he would betray his ideals for her .

That not only helps Sakura later but grows him way further than his fight with Archer in UBW did.

Seeing this I can understand why the "Miyuverse" Shirou is so loved.

I know I'm comparing routes but I can't help it. I'm sitting here conflicted because I liked this more than Saber's route. I am a Saber shill/simp at this point but I can't help but feel that Heaven's Feel is a better narrative conclusion.

Shirou is more compelling, I was made to like an ignored character, the story tackles some remnants of the 4th Grail such as Angra Mainyu whom we only saw hints of at the end of Fate/Zero, the grail system being destroyed at the end, etc.

It just feels tighter as a narrative to me. Although the reasons listed aren't the only explanations as to why.

No, the biggest contributing factor by far was Kirei himself.

Opposites

This man, this fucking monster, once again became far more interesting than he should be. I talked about him when I finished Fate/Zero which I'll link here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/post/737296248042815488/fated-rantings-ground-zero#notes

This man's obsession with Kiritsugu persisted for ten fucking years. Even now he can't accept him nor can he seem to accept the fact that they weren't as parallel as he believes.

All Kirei really gained from the 4th Grail War was realizing that he enjoys making others suffer. He's known from the start that he was broken inside but was cursed with the common sense to know it.

That contradiction is shown in his occupation. His whole tussle with Zouken and Assassin is badass to be sure. A 500yr old mage and a heroic spirit are fended off by this man, this fucked up preacher.

A badass to be sure but what caught my eye was him using scripture to harm Zouken. As far as I know, you can't just throw around scripture in Fate, you have to fundamentally believe in it to some degree.

Kirei is shown often genuinely reading his bible or kissing his cross. Actions that seem stupid when he makes it a hobby to ruin lives.

He goes on about how Angra Mainyu deserves to be born or about how something is neither good nor bad until it's gained knowledge. A solid argument but only when normal life is concerned.

Angra Mainyu is a man-made god, a devil, a focus of humanities evils into a spirit. All at the sacrifice of some unnamed boy centuries ago.

It was active during the 3rd Grail War, it's been very self aware within the Grail since then, and it's shown tormenting Kiritsugu and Illya.

Angra Mainyu is very much aware. It has knowledge, it is evil.

No, what Shirou calls him out on here saying "that's bullshit" is Kirei just wanting to see Angra Mainyu cause as much harm as possible...or so he thinks.

Personally I think that's half of it. The other half is Kirei's question. Although he should logically see that Angra Mainyu is evil by it's nature alone he still wants to know it's thoughts.

How does it feel to be born this way, how will it feel once it's fulfilled it's purpose, does it consider itself evil when humanity made it evil.

He feels compelled to know these things because he himself was born broken. Kirei knows deep down that nature is very much as real as nurture. No matter what he's done he's been broken.

He tried to love a woman but only cried because he felt that he should've killed her if she was meant to die. He had a loving father for whom no tear was shed when he was murdered.

He killed his mentor and aided Kairya just to see their torment. He told Shirou about Kiritsugu to see his reaction because he, like Zouken, thought Shirou was the same.

He fully believes that witnessing Angra Mainyu be born will answer his own burning questions about his nature when there is nothing to answer.

Angra Mainyu is man-made, nothing it can say can truly rectify Kirei's broken soul.

His Parallel was a Boy

The point, as I understood it, was that Kirei couldn't get his answers from Kiritsugu. His obsession, how he talks about him to Shirou, he never got over that.

Then he saw the grail. It even revived him from death but that won't give him the answer either. Even if he had witnessed its birth.

It is only at the end when he fighting a child that Kirei finds his true opposite. Shirou has nothing due to the 4th war, he considers his survival a sin.

Kirei considers his entire existence a sin yet he says it himself. They're opposite extremes of that same emptiness. I was frequently reminded of Fate/Zero because Kirei was.

Kirei died in that last war and was stuck in time in more ways than one. There is no way to answer or fix him.

It's damn poetic that both Kirei and Shirou realize something by admitting how unlike Kiritsugu Shirou has become. A fitting finale to a compelling monster.

This whole time Kirei's true opposite was a boy.

Finale

I'm sure I had more to say but I don't think this can get much longer. Plus some things weren't worth whole paragraphs. Such as my love for the battles and animation.

The small things like Shirou calling Archer a dick when he chucks him down like a sack of potatoes. Hell, Archer's entire arc this film is neat to see due to how passive he is. When Shirou is willing to be Sakura's hero or save Illya Archer's attitude changes on a dime. To the point that he'd even give up a literal arm.

I loved seeing Rider get more lines and screen time. She has a decent character that I now wish I got more of in other Fate works.

Then there's the whole Saber Alter and her battle....I can't. The fight is fucking amazing but just picturing Shirou ending her hurts me. TuT

Oh well, I'm ranted out now. Bye~

=======================

For my other experiences with Fate go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings

#fated rantings #fate series #fate/stay night #fate heavens feel #sakura matou #shirou emiya #kotomine kirei

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captain-aralias · 7 months

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9 books that are my favourites

tagged by @arenee1999 a few days ago, thank you <3 as i was writing this list in my head last night, i thought - this could be read as a list of my favourite fandoms and television/film adaptations, but hey ho. i did a degree in english lit or something.

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban by JKR - no book has been so important to my life and i also just think it's a really fun mystery and i still like it, so - it's here, it's staying.

carry on by rainbow rowell - but of course. this one was quite important too.

pride and prejudice by jane austen - i don't think this has ever made a fav book list before, i think because i thought it was too basic, but damnit - this book is great, it influences the way i write enemies to lovers, i love the 1995 adaptation and all of austen's novels are bangers except mansfield park, which i keep trying to like but it sucks.

the once and future king by TH white - all my life i loved the movie 'camelot' and it's depiction of arthur. i only learned as an adult that it was TH white's gentle, earnest, thwarted arthur that they'd used <3 he's perfect. 'ill-made knight' is the best of the series, IMO

lieutenant hornblower by cs forester - i haven't read the books in ages, so maybe it's time for a re-read. the ioan grufford adaptation is great, i wish they'd do the later/earlier books too! BUT this early (in hornblower's life) book is my fav - the only one told from bush's POV as he struggles with how he loves hornblower but worries the guy wants to do a mutiny (which he totally does)

the folk of the air by holly black - a new entrant even though i've loved it for years, but i've decided i don't just think it's really good, it's so good that it's one of my favs. maybe the best of the trilogy is the middle book, 'wicked king' where jude is in power with limited support and they fall in love (or do they???). how the king of elfham learned to hate stories is also brilliant.

'the emperor mage' by tamora pierce. i've been waiting my whole life for the numair book and it was terrible, but her first three trilogies are my absolute crack, and this is the best book of those series IMO. the bit where numair tries to hit the emperor for implying he loves his student daine (which he does) while she's listening but disguised as a bird - and then he fakes his own death, and daine goes crazy... that bit has stayed with me for decades, i love it so much.

'night watch' by terry pratchett. i still feel late to properly loving pterry, but i've always liked this one and now i love it - vimes is my guy, i love the time travel, that he trains himself, that he resists both passively and when required actively. v good. my next fav is probably ... 'monstrous regiment', which i think is a bit more of a weird choice (unlike this one which is mega popular and also about all the things i like), but it just does everything right! oh, 'and 'going postal'.

'the princess bride' by s morgenstern william goldman. i haven't read this for ages either so maybe it shouldn't make the list, but i expect it's still pretty great. a mindfuck for a young child who has only seen the film and thinks all of the frame narrative must therefore be real... also, the film is like one of the best films ever and i have seen that super recently. if you haven't seen the home movie, do yourself a favour and watch it because it's a great way to enjoy the movie a-new.

no idea where this meme has been already. so just saying hello to some folks and if you'd like to do this meme and haven't done it already, please do! @giishu @orange-peony @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @carryonvisinata @alleycat0306 @fight-surrender @cows4247 @messofthejess @mysterioussheep

#my content

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nocompromise-noregrets · 21 days

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20 questions for fic writers

The impossibly lovely @mihrsuri tagged me in this a couple of weeks ago, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get round to it - but I find myself in need of distraction, just a little bit, as Last Cat Standing is in the veterinary hospital getting his radioactive iodine treatment for his thyroid, and we can't have him back for maybe ten days as he's going to be somewhat radioactive for a little while; I'm sure he's going to be fine (this is the treatment described to me by the treating vet as both 'the gold standard' and 'magical', in that it's effective in 99.5% of cases, and in the 0.5% it isn't, they just give it another go and then it's effective), but we haven't had an entirely cat-free house for this long in 20 years, and I'm feeling a bit weird about it. Also I'm procrastinating finishing off an essay plan (I'd rather just write the damn essay but no, we have to submit a plan for tutor feedback to make sure we're on the right lines, and as you all know by now, that's really not how I work XD )

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 362 (plus another 76 on the other account for the fandom that does not speak its name...)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 1,491,388 (good grief; nearly 1.5 million?! and if you add in the 270,606 on the other account, that's 1,761,994 O.O )

3. What fandoms do you write for? Tolkien (chiefly the Hobbit movies, and LotR, a mix of movie and book-'verse); King Arthur (2004); Fisherman's Friends (fandom of one); The Alienist (TV; occasionally); Marvel (occasionally, chiefly bits of the MCU and X-Men comics/Evolution); Top Gun (here and there) - and a bewildering number of others...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? My Heart Is An Empty Vessel (621); Shape Up (422); Safe (414); Not Alone (413); The Unworn Jumpers of Molly Weasley (343)

This is bewildering but also a fine illustration of the vagaries of AO3 and the absolute folly of measuring anything by the amount of kudos a fic has: Empty Vessel is three and a half years old, took two years to post and has 115 chapters, so was at the top of the tag many many times over those two years. Shape Up and Safe were written and posted not long after Top Gun: Maverick came out (I don't know how busy the tag still is, but it was very busy when the film came out so the fics in that fandom got a lot of interaction because a lot of people were there looking for fics) and are both one-shots. Not Alone is also a one-shot (for X-Men: Evolution) and has been up on AO3 for nearly twelve years (and has had a bit of a boost with the release of X-Men '97). And Unworn Jumpers (on which I really ought to put some sort of disclaimer, along with the small handful of other ancient HP fics I've got up there) is a seasonal one-shot that's been up for over ten years and tends to get a bit of a boost every December. So *shrugs* go figure. And if anyone wants to help the only HP fic in the top five not be in the top five any more, Come Home is only 36 behind it, and it is fluffy and cute and has Elrohir persuading Maglor to come to Imladris for Midwinter somewhat in the guise of the Elfling he hasn't been for a very long time... :D

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. Sometimes it takes me a while (oh god six months, but I got up to speed with them all and now I'm trying to make sure I do it within a week) as I am a champion procrastinator but I feel it's important for me to say thank you. And sometimes squee a bit. :D And sometimes it makes me a new friend, which is extra-awesome.

I have a few very very old comments on the stuff I posted before 2020 which I never did get round to answering, which I feel bad about, but I also feel like it would be weird to go back and answer them now...I dunno, what do you guys think?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings very often, but The Last Watch (in which Bard dies) is really sad, and Never Forgotten and See This Storm Through (in which Sigrid and Thranduil comfort each other after the funeral, and Legolas comes home to Dale to look after his father and his family and grieve with them, respectively) are almost as sad although they both end with a small amount of hope.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Ah, most of my fics end happily :D I'm far too tired for anything but, most of the time, these days. But let's face it, My Heart Is An Empty Vessel ends with a coronation and a wedding (spoiler alert! XD ) so let's go for that one.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I am lucky; the closest I've had was some anon complaining about Empty-Handed being a spoiler for the then-unposted Empty Vessel although the events it 'spoiled' were inevitable in the context of a mortal-immortal relationship, and someone whingeing in a bookmark comment that Thorin and Bilbo don't even talk until the end of Mr Underhill's Finest Seafood Specialities, thus completely missing the point of the fic (and the 'past' after the pairing tag) - it wasn't about them - which made me chuckle as much as the rudeness annoyed me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sometimes. I have phases when I feel like it, and (much longer) phases when I don't. It's generally only fairly tame and euphemistic (with the single and solitary exception of that one hanahaki fic about the twins the premise for which, although not the smut, came to me in a dream) and probably not all that imaginative since, as the acest of aces, the whole idea completely bewilders me XD

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not unless you count various different parts of the Tolkien legendarium. My brain just doesn't work that way.

11. (there doesn't seem to be a question 11; I feel like this might be one of those Tumblr traditions, as I've definitely done question memes on here before that have been lacking in a question 11...)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have! I am deeply honoured that my KA fic Anniversaries was translated into Russian by Elenabu some years ago, and It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like... appears on Lofter in Mandarin, translated by AntheaXi. There were a couple of other Russian translations of some of my very old stories, but that was 15 or 20 years ago and I can't actually remember which or where.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have! A long long time ago, the fic that eventually became the original novel that is Two of a Kind, the tale of Hal and Jack, was a co-production, and I really enjoy bouncing ideas back and forth - and of course, there is the Tudors OT3-'verse fandom stuff that @mihrsuri and I have been pinging to and fro just recently, which is also hugely enjoyable. :D :D :D

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Oh, too many to name! Gawain/Galahad from KA2004, the bi widower dads, Legolas/Imrahil, Elladan/Elrohir, Erestor/Glorfindel, Sigrid/Tauriel, to name but a few.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I am determined to finish All I Want Is You. I am also determined to finish part whatever it is now of It's Always Been You, although that's been on the back burner for a long long time. There's one WIP on the other account which I'm also determined to finish although who knows if I'll ever get there. I'm not one for saying never, though. I was out of Tolkien fandom for 16 years, and after the fandom that does not speak its name fizzled out, I genuinely thought I'd never write again. And yet...here I am.

16. What are your writing strengths? Ooooh, I dunno. Spelling, punctuation and grammar, dialogue, leavening the serious romantic stuff with a bit of humour, kindness and love for the characters and settings, happy endings and quite a lot of fluff. :D

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. XD Can't plot to save my life.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Only when necessary for character reasons, and always provide a translation. Otherwise you're shutting out readers who don't understand (unless it's not important that they actually understand precisely what's being said as long as they get the gist).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Knowingly? X-Men (comics), and that fic is here, although I posted it ten-odd years after first posting it to ff.net.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? All of them. I cannot possibly choose.

Thank you so much for the tag, lovely! Entirely no-obligation tags go to @lemurious, @verecunda, @writerman, @scary-grace, @seagull-energy, @herawell, @thenookienostradamus, @sallysavestheday, @myeaglesong, @palavapeite, @bigneonglitter, @bishkebab, @peonybroadbeltofbuckland, @redeemer46, @spiced-wine-fic and anyone else who wants to do this - if you see this and fancy it, please consider yourself well and truly tagged!

#tag game #my writing #wheeeee thank you! <333333

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cookinguptales · 4 months

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So... Dante's Inferno. I promised my second post would be a deep dive into the parallels and allusions being made to Dante in s2 of Malevolent. In other words, I'm going to finally make my case for you.

I think it's a pretty good one! But I guess whether you agree with me is up to you.

I'll preface this by saying that the last time I read the Inferno cover-to-cover was about fifteen years ago. I did some skimming to reacquaint myself while relistening to this season, but I didn't do a deep dive. So let's just call this an inexhaustive list, okay? I'm sure there are more examples than I'm going to throw out in this post, but I figured that I'm writing a tumblr meta not a dissertation, so it would be okay if I didn't have every single potential allusion.

I'll also say that any quotes I make are from the Mandelbaum translation just because it's by far the easiest to understand. I'm not going to be doing citations or anything (again, not a dissertation) but if you want to know any of my sources, just drop me a line and I'll be happy to drop the canto.

(cw: discussions of suicide, violence, and general Christianity)

As I said before, I believe that the Dreamlands, as Arthur Lester experienced them, were a manifestation of Dante's Dis that The King in Yellow used specifically to give Arthur a path towards penitence and salvation, hoping that he would eventually allow himself some sort of "divine forgiveness."

In other words, the KIY forced Arthur to face the punishments of the last four circles of Dante's Inferno in the hopes that it would cause Arthur to let go of his guilt, and therefore his attachment, to Faroe. And then, of course, he could make his move.

(In plainer English, sometimes a person who is dreaming wishes that they were dreaming, not knowing that they already are. Like that, Dante wanted to be forgiven for his actions not realizing that he already was. Dreamlands, penitence, guilt, etc. It's a whole thing.)

I'm going to try to stay on track in this post because there's a lot to cover. I'm going to talk about some of these concepts and themes a lot more in-depth later, but for now I just wanna lay out some very surface-level observations.

Dis is a gated section of Dante's Hell that includes circles 6-9 -- in other words, the circles dedicated to punishing the heretics, the violent, the fraudulent, and the traitors.

We should probably technically start with 6 and make our way down, but the ordering gets a little fuzzy as we go, so I'm going to structure this a little differently.

This is my meta so frankly I'm going to do what I like here. I'm just going to talk about these in the order I find them most compelling.

The first part of s2 that really made me sit up and take notice was the living forest that Arthur and John pass through near the beginning of the Dreamlands. Dante's forest of souls in the seventh circle is one of the most famous and lingering images of the entire poem, so it immediately caught my attention.

I'm going to be dedicating an entire post just to this forest, so I won't go into too much detail here, but there is a forest in the seventh circle where the trees are black and gnarled, like the ones in the Dreamlands, and like the ones in the Dreamlands, they were watered with blood.

These are the bodies of souls who committed suicide, and Dante is told that when the end times come and Hell is emptied out, when all of the other souls are reunited with their bodies, these souls, in punishment for taking their physical bodies for granted, will be forced to carry their own corpses hanging from their branches.

These trees can speak and bleed, and -- I mean, there's a lot to say about themes of suicide and self-sacrifice in s2. There's even more to say about this concept of protecting your physical body, not giving it up, and not allowing yourself to be separated from it. And then what does it mean when John and Arthur sacrifice a piece of themselves to this living wood in the end...?

Those are questions for a later post. But the parallels between the Dreamlands forest and that in the Inferno seem clear -- and that's before the winged monsters come. Yes, that happens in the Inferno, too, and they're Harpies.

(*looks into the camera like Kermit the Frog*)

There is also depiction of dismemberment in this section of Inferno, which is another pretty crucial similarity to Malevolent.

Ugh, I did get bogged down in some details. Let's be brief with the rest of 7.

Other key punishments found in the seventh circle of Hell and also the Dreamlands: a sea of red sand in a desert that is so hot that it constantly burns you, a vast ravine, an incredibly painful storm, and various red bodies of water surrounded by black rocks. Different water does different things, but none of it's really good. It's probably good that John and Arthur didn't go in the red or purple lakes.

(Perhaps more of a stretch, when Dante and Virgil are taken to the next circle of Hell, it's via a huge serpentine creature that can sting people. It's not exactly the same as the snake in the boat... but well. It is a serpent and a boat is a method of conveyance.)

Circle 8 -- fraud. Circle 8 is comprised of these things called "malebolge", and I've seen a lot of different translations of that word. The male- part is easy -- it's the same one that we see in "malevolent". Evil. The -bolge part I've seen translated as pouches, ditches, trenches, and... well, pits.

There is this really, really, really long part of the poem where they go around to all the pits to see all the different kinds of punishment for fraud. I'm not going to be exhaustive here, nor do I think that all of it lines up quite as 1:1 as it did in circle 7. Some of these things I'm about to point out I think are stretches but others I think are pretty clear.

The two main parallels to circle 8 that I see in Malevolent are the giant pit that they fall into (where they encounter the creature that's being fed) and the smaller prison pits that they're later trapped in by the KIY.

Let's talk about the cave system first. When Dante and Virgil first enter Dis (and in other parts going forward) they struggle with a lot of uneven, gravelly terrain that Dante occasionally falls on. (Created by earthquakes that happened because of Jesus, but that's not important.) That does seem to correspond to the gravelly ground that gave way beneath Arthur and John to send them into the vast blackness that has quite a bit in common with a few of the malebolge. One malebolge is an endless black void that Dante eventually realizes is filled with black pitch. (See: the endless darkness of the pit.) Another is filled with stench and refuse, like the rotting remnants of the creature's dinners. Another involves heads being wrenched from their place and turned around in their sockets, reminiscent of Arthur's dislocated arm.

Other malebolge seem to align with later experiences, like when they are in the ritual halls and in the prison pits themselves. There are two malebolge that seem to speak to Arthur's concern that John will either be separated from him or take over his body: one pit contains dragon-like snakes that bite the punished sinners, then slowly transform into the sinner as the sinner becomes the snake; the other pit involves people being quite literally cleaved in two.

(From the part where the dragons become one with the sinners, then take their bodies. Sounds familiar!)

A third malebolge contains sinners who are being tortured with incessant thirst, like Lorick the cana.

So I do think that the actual contents of these evil pits come up fairly often throughout Arthur's travails, but I think the much bigger issue, and the one that maps more clearly onto Arthur's time in the Dreamlands, is the concept of pits designed to punish prisoners in the first place. The description of the malebolge (circular pits surrounded by a huge wall that encircles all of them) is similar to that of the prison pits (many circular pits that are encircled by a huge wall) and, like the sinners bound to their malebolge, John and Arthur are being tortured in their prison pit as well.

Even more interesting, I think, is a particular sinner that can be found later in the 9th circle. (Forgive me for jumping ahead a bit, but you'll see in a moment why I'm doing it.) There's a man named Ugolino that Dante encounters in the lake of ice who is frozen to another man -- and Ugolino is eating that man's head. Why? Because in life, that man held Ugolino and his children prisoner and purposefully starved them.

Now -- this next part is argued over by both translators and scholars (one of the translators I consulted for this had a whole diatribe about this in the middle of his translation, lmao) but what I'm about to say does seem to be an accepted interpretation of the text. I even checked Sparknotes and it's the only interpretation they give, so I assume that regardless of what Dante intended, this is a common modern understanding of the scene.

Ugolino, after his children had died (arguably due to his own actions), was forced to consume their flesh.

(Some scholars say he just starved to death, but again, even Sparknotes is a big proponent of the cannibalism theory. lmao)

So... we have a story about a prisoner being denied food specifically to demoralize him and force him to feed on the flesh of his fellow prisoners. That sounds familiar. :')

(And "Faust", of course, is an allusion to another literary figure who dealt with the devil...)

I think that regardless of how well the specific punishments of the pits fit Arthur's journey (I'd say... so-so, depending on the punishment), the concept of punishment pits in general is strongly associated with the Dreamlands, and what happened to Arthur in those pits is uh. Let's just say that Dante did it first.

Now... before I go onto the ninth circle, one of the clearest, most obvious, and in some ways most fascinating allusions to Dante, I'll quickly backtrack to the sixth circle of Hell, heresy.

Heresy is a complicated thing in a universe that contains both Christianity and a lot of other gods, and I think it's certainly dealt with in s2, but maybe in not quite the same ways...

The description of the sixth circle of Hell is pretty quick and pretty sparse. Essentially, it's a vast plain of open tombs that are surrounded by fire. They're made of stone and the people inside them are supposed to be dead, but they are unable to rest, instead being roasted alive inside of their tombs.

I puzzled over this one for a while, and I think it's still entirely possible that it was meant to be skipped altogether in Malevolent. But. There is a part at the very beginning of s2 that never quite seemed to tie into the rest of the narrative, and I wonder if, in a way, it was meant to be one of these stone tombs.

A stone building, like the stone tombs indicated by Dante. Roofs of red iron, like the stone heated to "glowing heat" that Dante likened to hot iron...

A large hole in the ground. Perhaps a stack of firewood...

Inhabitants thought to be "departed" but clearly still very much still here...

I don't know. Could be an allusion to the fiery tombs of the living dead. Hard to say.

It's hard to know where he was going with this portion, honestly. I get the impression that something might have been headed off by an audience decision here, so idk where it would have gone if it had found its logical conclusion. The souls in the sixth circle can see the future (but not the present), so it could have been something pretty cool.

Ah, well. Hard to know.

I'll get back to more solid ground. The ninth circle.

The ninth circle of Hell, home of traitors (including Satan himself), is one of the most well-known parts of the poem. At the bottom of Hell is, quite infamously, a frozen lake of ice.

I mentioned poor Ugolino before, but there are other prisoners of the ice who are also very interesting.

One in particular, Branca d’Oria, seems thematically important. This was kind of a weird addition to Dante's Hell. See, Branca d’Oria was a real-live person who was still alive when this was written. How is a living person in Hell? Well, Dante asked him that in the poem, too.

According to The Inferno, Branca d’Oria's crime (the murder of his father-in-law) was so terrible that his soul was taken down to Hell while he was still alive, and his soul was replaced with a devil who took control of his body.

(If you think that a simple murder doesn't seem worse than all the other stuff in Hell, I guess... this is kind of Dante being a true crime girlie...?)

Regardless of Dante's writing choices, I think you can see why this one caught my eye. Once Arthur and John get to the lake of ice, their imminent confrontation with the KIY has them both wondering if just that will happen to Arthur. Will a devil (John) take control of his body and cast his soul out?

There are a lot of passages of Dante that are concerned with the attachment of the soul to the body, so I'll probably do an entire post on that. Lot of stuff about whether souls can be severed from their mortal form, whether they can be replaced by other spirits, etc.

Kayne specifically brings up this question (as does the KIY) in the lake of ice, which brings me to the other really fascinating part of the ninth circle.

Caina.

(Yes, named for that Cain.)

Caina is the portion of the lake of ice that is reserved specifically for people who have killed family members. It's part of the realm of traitors, not murderers, and is considered particularly heinous. Dante finds two brothers who are being punished by being quite literally frozen together.

(Again, two souls, one body, one whole, there's a vibe here.)

I talked a little bit about Kayne before... I don't think he's bound to this part of the Inferno, or even an organic part of it, but I do think that he's consciously playing along with it. After all, he chose to meet Arthur and John in the frozen lake. He chose to call himself Kayne. It's not his real name. That seems pretty clear. But it's what he chose to call himself.

He lured Arthur in with the music box symbolizing his dead daughter. He dirtied it with blood. He purposefully leaned into Arthur's guilt about "murdering" his daughter. And he called himself Kayne.

Feels pointed to me.

And I do think Kayne very certainly belongs in the ring reserved for traitors. lmao. I cannot imagine that he's not fucking the two of them over somehow.

Side note, I'd also say that the description of amphitheater-like rooms feels like an allusion to the Inferno right there. Its circles are shaped like an amphitheater with the lake of ice right in the center!

And just to be clear, it points both up and down. When they get to Satan and fly past him, the same shape is going out the other way. (Through the earth's core.)

The final really big allusion to Dante is not an allusion to the Inferno at all, but to Purgatorio/Paradiso. I am speaking, of course, of the garden.

A garden that his followers can't enter... A garden where things are presumably safe... A garden where Arthur finally comes to true understanding...

I mean. It's Eden, right? Of course it's Eden.

And Arthur, in his own way, is partaking of the fruit.

Eden is actually where Purgatorio ends and Paradiso begins, in Dante's travels. There's... a lot to be said here, about "Earthly Paradise", as it's called in Dante, and how it's a symbol of regaining innocence, its connections with Beatrice, etc. But I'll leave that for another post.

The reason why it's important here, though, is that it symbolizes an escape from Hell. It's what Dante found after going through all the punishments of Hell, after meeting Satan, after regaining his metaphorical innocence. It's what the KIY was dangling in front of Arthur as escape, both from the Dreamlands and his own guilt.

The fact that it was used to manipulate, to hurt, to fake Arthur out, is actually such an interesting twist on the source material. I kind of love it.

(I'll also just say real quick that I believe that the selenine (while existing as a cure-all in other Lovecraft literature) is actually a parallel to the waters of Lethe, which can also be found in Dante's Earthly Paradise. This is water that makes you forget your past and all past sins so you can become purified and continue on to heaven! Or get your ass snatched by the King in Yellow! I'll talk about this more later!)

And then... y'know, there's Daniel.

I have a lot to say about Daniel in the future, but for now... I think this is what it all kind of boils down to.

Like yes... on a surface level, there are a lot of Dantean punishments in this book. Yes, Arthur starts rambling about the Minotaur, who guards the seventh circle of Hell. Yes, there are tons of little asides and allusions to the cosmology of this universe.

But I think this here is the key. This whole dream is about judgment from a god that Arthur no longer believes in and absolution that will never come.

Arthur is, quite frankly, out of options. He's been clinging to this guilt and shame for a very long time now, and he sees no real possibility for forgiveness from God or anyone. Only punishment.

So... the KIY gives him God's punishment. But do the tortures of the Inferno really make Arthur come to terms with his own guilt? Not in the way the KIY wants, obviously, but... I mean, I do think there is some growth there. I just don't think it came from the torture.

Arthur wanted to be tortured. He thinks he deserves to be tortured. To be punished. That comes up... many times throughout the podcast. But it isn't punishment that helps him come to terms with his own actions, that help him come to live quietly with his guilt.

It's love.

And Dante's Inferno, at its heart, is about love. According to Dante, the deepest depths of Hell are frozen because ice is the lack of warmth, and a lack of warmth is the lack of love.

Because here's what Dante's Commedia is about, from beginning to end. Dante is having a crisis of faith and his lost love, his dear deceased Beatrice, orchestrates this journey (and eventually becomes his guide) from her place in heaven and saves his soul on earth -- through her love.

I'll talk about this more later, I swear I will, but for now... The KIY gave Arthur the Hell he thought he deserved because he wanted Arthur to find grace through penitence. The King wanted Arthur to give up his past so he could steal his future.

But what Arthur actually gleaned from this awful experience is perhaps closer to what Dante actually intended his message to be. That closing yourself off from others, that hurting others, that betraying others, these are all the worst sins. In the end, it's a violation of human connection that will damn you.

And the only real way to salvation is through love.

I feel like in some ways this is the largest allusion of all, opaque as it is. This is what the entire poem is about. Not just gawking at punishments but finding growth through love.

It's about learning that shame can't fix you, y'know? Love and support are an awful lot more effective if you truly wish to change.

And that, my friends, is Dante's Divine Comedy. :')

#literary analysis like this is the equivalent of giving me a kong toy full of peanut butter jsyk #malevolent podcast #long post #really really long post

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queenlucythevaliant · 1 year

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When Lucy returned to school for the spring term, Peter sent a war poem. It dropped from the crease of his letter into her lap, as unexpected as a firebomb.

“On Receiving News of War,” the title read, and Lucy’s heart lurched. She was sixteen and Peter was twenty-one. The war had ended three years ago and he had only been a British soldier for a matter of months before he was discharged. Now, this poem came: words from the Last Lot, the 1914 war. Lucy picked up the loose page and read.

ON RECEIVING NEWS OF THE WAR

Snow is a strange white word;

No ice or frost

Have asked of bud or bird

For Winter's cost.

Yet ice and frost and snow

From earth to sky

This Summer land doth know,

No man knows why.

She looked up in shock. What did Peter mean in sending this? Was it only that it made him think of their first days in Narnia, white and frozen under the White Witch’s curse? He could not have missed the title. Lucy worried her lip between her teeth, considering. Her brother did not often use words idly.

Red fangs have torn His face.

God's blood is shed.

He mourns from His lone place

His children dead.

O! ancient crimson curse!

Corrode, consume.

Give back this universe

Its pristine bloom.

Oh. Yes, alright. That made a certain kind of sense. And there, at the bottom of the page, was a single line writ in Peter’s hand. “Variations on a theme,” he had written, “only I’m not yet certain what theme it is. Do you have an idea?”

Several, in fact. Lucy’s mind lit up in an instant, all a-whirl with memory and typology. She wasn’t a child any longer, and in small bits her many battles came back to her. Peter, she was sure, remembered even more of Narnia’s wars.

Yet Lucy remembered the ice of Lantern Waste on the first day as though no time had passed at all. She remembered the crimson of Aslan’s blood. She remembered the thaw. In her mind, those things had nothing and everything to do with Britain’s last war. Nothing: the two worlds were as different as King Arthur and Winston Churchill. Everything: because maybe Arthur and Churchill were not so different after all.

That night, after a trip to the library and with a book of poetry on her desk, Lucy composed her reply. “Another variation,” she wrote, and carefully copied out the lines.

All the dead kings came to me

At Rosnaree, where I was dreaming,

A few stars glimmered through the morn,

And down the thorn the dews were streaming.

And every dead king had a story

Of ancient glory, sweetly told.

It was too early for the lark,

But the starry dark had tints of gold.

The poem was called “The Dead Kings.” Peter was not dead, but Lune was and Cor was. Caspian was. It was easy to imagine them appearing in the trenches and whispering their stories into the ears of British soldiers.

“Caspian would have liked the notion, I think,” Lucy said thoughtfully.

Peter leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Yes. Come to think of it, I rather like it myself. If I were the dead king, I mean.”

“It’s strange—I think these were meant to be sad poems, the way they were written. The world unwillingly cursed and the ancient kings dead. Yet when you apply it to Narnia, I don’t think it’s terribly sad at all. Maybe a little melancholy, but hopeful too. Like I know something that the poet doesn’t.”

“You do know something that the poet doesn’t,” answered Peter.

“I mean about war and dying and all. It’s all so distant for me, you know? And yet I often suspect that I know secrets that some men who actually fought couldn’t guess at. The hopeless men, maybe. In Narnia it was all more beautiful. Having lived there elevates even war and death, in this world.”

“We were, both of us, soldiers once.”

Lucy nodded.

“How about this one, then?” Peter shoved his book across the table, nearly upending the cream along the way.

The drab street stares to see them row on row

On the high tram-tops, singing like the lark.

Too careless-gay for courage, singing they go

Into the dark.

“Simple,” said Lucy. “Singing on the way to war is courage. Singing in the dark is just about the bravest thing a person can do. Just because these boys go into the battle without knowing what it’s really like doesn’t make them any less brave for going, or for singing.”

“You would know,” her brother smiled fondly.

With tin whistles, mouth-organs, any noise,

They pipe the way to glory and the grave;

Foolish and young, the gay and golden boys

Love cannot save...

“It makes me think of Susan,” Peter murmured.

“I can see that. Our love cannot save her, only Aslan’s.” Lucy frowned thoughtfully.

“No, no—I mean I wonder if that’s how Susan thinks of us: foolish children still playing games where singing in the dark means anything at all. Gay and golden, but naïve and careless by the same token. Too caught up in notions of courage and glory to realize that we live in a world where good people die.”

“Oh Peter, you don’t really think?”

“She told me once she’s afraid that we’ll never grow up, did you know? I wondered if she meant that we would always be like children, or if she worried we might die young. Sometimes I still wonder.”

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” said Lucy. “To always be child-like, or even to die young. Not by half.”

Peter snorted. “You might not mind dying young, but I’d certainly mind it. You’re my little sister, Lu. If you die young, it means I’ve done something wrong.”

“Well of course I’d mind! There are so many things I mean to do once I’m grown up. But I’ve always thought—ever since Father Christmas handed me that dagger—that I might. As long as I died for something, it wouldn’t bother me. I think I could be a rather good martyr.” She winked across the table.

“Don’t you dare. If Aslan has short lives in mind for either of us, we’ll drink what we’re given. In the meantime, let’s both of us focus on growing up well.”

The next week, Lucy went with Marjorie Preston to the mail room. It was Marjorie’s birthday and she was expecting a parcel from home, but Lucy was also privately hoping for another letter from Peter.

An abundance of riches awaited Marjorie: an enormous box that the two of them had to lift together. Thus, Lucy tucked Peter’s letter under one of the box’s flaps as they carried it, and it was Marjorie who tore open the envelope when they reached the dormitories.

“What in the world is this?” Marjorie exclaimed, waving a poem under Lucy’s nose. Lucy snatched it away and hungrily read the words, considering how this variation fit Peter’s theme. Then, she noticed that Marjorie was still beside her, tapping her foot impatiently.

“My brother sends me war poems,” Lucy explained hurriedly.

“That’s strange.”

“Do you think so?” Lucy considered. “Well, no matter.”

WAR GIRLS (here Peter had added “& VALIANT QUEENS”)

Strong, sensible, and fit,

They're out to show their grit,

And tackle jobs with energy and knack.

No longer caged and penned up,

They're going to keep their end up

Till the khaki soldier boys come marching back.

"Does he mean you?" asked Marjorie, wrinkling her nose.

Lucy laughed, but didn't dispute it. She went to fetch some paper and a pen.

On they went for the next several months, passing poems back and forth in their letters. Some of them were hopeful and some despairing, some sad, some darkly funny. It was a dialogue in a war that Peter scarcely remembered, and Lucy even less. In time, Tennyson and others from before the Last Lot worked their way in. Even Shakespeare made an appearance with several selections from the Henriad. Spring lurched into summer which tumbled into fall. Peter turned twenty-two in August and Lucy was seventeen in November.

Then, at dinner at Professor Digory’s house one night, the specter of a Narnian king appeared before them. Before they left, Peter found the poem he was thinking of in the Professor’s study and gave it to Lucy.

Horror of wounds and anger at the foe,

And loss of things desired; all these must pass.

We are the happy legion, for we know

Time's but a golden wind that shakes the grass.

“Does it feel different this time?” he asked once she had read it.

“Yes,” replied his sister, “and no. It feels obscurely like it did the night Aslan died. Like something is hanging over us.”

“I think this is the end,” Peter said bluntly. “He said we wouldn’t ever go back to Narnia, yet here we are. It feels like the end. Do you remember what it was like the night before a battle?”

“Yes. I didn’t before, but I do now. Like we had to gather up everything inside ourselves and name it. Fear and courage, love and memory.”

Peter sighed. “We ought to get going. There might be ice on the roads tonight.”

Lucy went into the closet and fetched her coat. Peter followed, moving a fraction slower than usual.

“Peter?” Peter turned and looked at Lucy, who was standing in the doorway with her fur-trimmed collar turned up around her throat. “It was a good poem, Peter. The right poem. Time’s but a golden wind that shakes the grass…”

Golden. Golden like Aslan’s mane, which they both so dearly longed to touch once more. Lucy tossed the poem round and round in her mind all that evening.

Before he and Edmund left for London, Lucy slipped an envelope into Peter’s pocket. “Read it on the train,” she told him.

Peter nodded. “I have one for you too.”

It was the last conversation they shared in the Shadowlands, though neither knew it at the time.

When Lucy unfolded her poem, she recognized the words. It was her favorite war-poem, which she’d first sent to Peter months ago when their correspondence had begun.

Sombre the night is:

And, though we have our lives, we know

What sinister threat lurks there.

But hark! Joy—joy—strange joy.

Lo! Heights of night ringing with unseen larks:

Music showering on our upturned listening faces.

It almost made her want to giggle, how well Peter knew her. Lucy thought of him and Edmund together in London; she ached for Susan, who had chosen not to join her siblings in their last battle for Narnia. She breathed in deep and thought of music on the way to war.

Death could drop from the dark

As easily as song—

But song only dropped,

Like a blind man's dreams on the sand

By dangerous tides;

Like a girl's gold hair, for she dreams no ruin lies there,

Or her songs where a lion hides.

That last couplet was wrong. Peter had changed it. The poem ended with, A girl’s dark hair and kisses where a serpent hides, but Peter had written gold and lion instead.

When Peter unfolded his own poem on the train, he found only a single stanza, annotated on nearly every line.

It didn’t pass— (His will be done) it didn’t pass- (His will be done)

It didn’t pass from me.

I drank it when we met the gas (His will be done)

Beyond Gethsemane! (His will be done)

The train halted and the whistle blew. Peter shook Edmund awake beside him, and together they went to unbury the rings.

Poems referenced: “On Receiving News of the War,” Isaac Rosenberg; “The Dead Kings,” Francis Ledwidge; “Joining the Colours,” Katharine Tynan; “War Girls,” Jessie Pope; “Absolution,” Siegfried Sassoon; “Returning, We Hear Larks,” Isaac Rosenberg; “Gethsemane,” Rudyard Kipling

#i really am very interested in the ways that Narnia relates to both ww2 and ww1 #but i almost never like the way other people address the subject #(sorry)#so here's my attempt #i'm not 100% satisfied with it but i think it's good enough for now #the beauty of using a cut is that i can still revise if i decide i want to #also this is part of my informal 'Narnia lit analysis series'#because that's just the kind of gal i am #narnia #dear darling heart-daughter of aslan #high king over all the rest #chapter one #martyr club relevant #leah stories #pontifications and creations #intertextuality

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pendragon-of-chaos · 10 months

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Hello! can i ask for a headcanon where the power of chaos chose the son of arthur and y/n as the next king? (their son is half human and half demon because of his mother). thank you!

Chaos has endless possibilities, so I'm not quite sure of being right with these headcanons, but they were fun to think about! Hope you like them!

4Kota Arthur and his son inheriting Chaos

Chaos didn't move over to their son the instant he was born. Instead, it was a gradual change. That's why no one suspected anything during their childhood

With the passing of time, Arthur felt his magic power getting weaker. Something he could do years ago effortlessly now was a chore that required concentration and effort to make sure he did it right. One day he realized that it wasn't all his magic what was being affected, but only the chaos part. He still conserved his natural strenght and magic learnt from Merlin, he could also use Excalibur, but only with his initial form, since the chaos that was infused into it years ago was starting to fade away

On the other hand, his son was growing up strong and skilled, no wonder thanks to his genetics and his parents. Being half demon gave him a good amount of magic power and strenght, combined with sword training from his father and his knights made him a great warrior

Arthur became more vigilant of his family when he noticed he was getting weaker, just to make sure he could still protect them. Thanks to that, he realized what was happening.

The first Chaos manifestations in their son were when he was still a young teen. Unrecognisable forms growing from the ground with strong emotions, similar to the ones Arthur made when he woke up after his coma. Their son got scared the first time it happened since they didn't look anything like his own demon powers.

Arthur and his wife were even more scared. How were they supposed to act now? After all these years they didn't know anything about Chaos passing down generations. Even Arthur thought it was impossible. What were the odds of their son being chosen as the next recipient of Chaos? And why did Chaos even have to change from one person to another? Too many questions without clear answers

Their son had some rough teenage years trying to control that power. Sometimes it was so powerfull that it made him feel dizzy and nauseous. If he got nervous or scared it all worsened. To make things worse, his demon powers could get out of control due to it, which was a terrible mix when that happened.

Arthur intensified the search for Merlin, as she was the only person who knew well about Chaos, or at least could help them a little bit more

While nothing tragic happened in the end (except for some scary situations), those years until Chaos had dissappeared from Arthur and their son learnt how to control it were extremely overwhelming for the family

Arthur regrets with every inch of his body being the bearer of Chaos, even if that isn't his fault, because he knows what atrocities you can commit with it and how that impacts you, and he doesn't want that future for his son

#4kota #mokushiroku no yon kishi #four knights of the apocalypse #nanatsu no taizai #arthur nnt #arthur 4kota #nnt headcanon #4kota arthur #4kota arthur x reader #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nnt

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gaiusbunnymask · 1 year

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rewatch commentary: valiant

Valiant got his snake shield in some sort of black market. I'll assume the market where valiant met the sorcerer is not in Camelot since Merlin comments on the snakes being foreign. most likely it's from the western isles, the same place valiant comes from.

the sorcerer wasn't distrustful of Valiant and looked pretty relaxed while explaining how the snakes where used, thrilled even, so Valiant was not his first client, though he was certainly the last.

the thought of a black market were sorcerers sell their stuff discreetly is very intriguing.

"You see? This is how a true knight behaves, with gallantry and honour."

the scenes with Uther, Valiant and Arthur subtly hint at how much Arthur is feeling the pressure of needing to win to have his father's and the people's approval. and the fact that Uther acts so nice and welcoming to Valiant, even inviting him to be part of the knights of Camelot, seems like something designed to make Arthur feel threatened that someone is trying to take his place. Valiant already has his father's approval and Morgana's attention. Valiant and Arthur both did very well the first two days of the tournament, but Arthur didn't even get a nod from his father, whereas Valiant was openly congratulated.

Valiant winning would destroy Arthur's self-esteem.

so when Arthur summons the court it's not just to prove that Valiant is cheating; consciously or not, he also wants to prove himself to his father, make him see that the man he was clapping on the shoulder two knights ago is actually a fake, unworthy of the king's praise and approval.

which makes the humiliation that follows five times worse.

"The people expect their prince to fight. How can I lead men into battle if they think I'm a coward?"

i liked this shot quite a lot. this episode focuses a lot more on Arthur's struggles and his relationship with his father. when he wins and kills Valiant, the relief in his face it's clear. his father gives him a nod and the crowd cheers in approval. he proved everyone that he wasn't a coward and that he hadn't lied. but oh, the way he sat alone in his room after the humiliation at court. being bound to do what is expected of him no matter he wants or feels. this is all Uther's fault of course.

"And now they see you for what you really are."

the purge has not only made people fear associating themselves with any kind of magic or magic user, but for the last 20-21 years, and then in the canon timeline, they've only seen harmful and dark magic being used, so this helps build up the prejudice against it that sorcerers are bad people and that people that consort with them are equally dangerous. just look at valiant. the magic of the snake shield is exposed right in front of everyone, the king included, and it's being used by an ambitious man for his own selfish gains.

said man then tries to kill their prince, but it's thankfully thwarted. people like Valiant and the sorcerers that make those types of weapons contribute to giving magic a bad reputation, especially in the eyes of the people that grew up with the magic ban (like Gwaine and the other knights, except Lancelot). most of the "good" sorcerers are probably dead or in hiding, and if they do anything good, they probably keep it a secret. that makes dark magic the type of sorcery that the people in Camelot are more exposed to. this confirms their bias and inadvertently backs up Uther's claims that magic is a corrupting force that must be purged from the land.

Some more thoughts on the episode:

-ok NO ONE ever includes the part where Merlin beheads the snake as one of his coolest moments. he was SO badass in that scene, and he barely knew how to hold a sword correctly at the beginning of the episode!

-i think this episode is so underrated in terms of Merlin being bamf. he sneaks around, breaks into Valiant's rooms using a spell to unlock the door, perfected a difficult spell in one night.

-the Arthur x Morgana was rampant in this episode

-Arthur is not his father exhibit one: As he escorts Morgana to the feast he tells her that Uther will never apologize for not believing him about Valiant. Then not a minute later he goes to apologize to Merlin for sacking him.

-Merlin may not be good at thinking things through before acting but he sure is creative when it comes to solving problems.

#zy rewatchs merlin #bbc merlin #merlin meta #valiant #uther pendragon #arthur pendragon #merlin

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agentrouka-blog · 2 years

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So all the “Young’s” die an early death and it seems like they all will die to war crimes (Robb/Young Wolf at the Red Wedding, Daeron/Young Dragon under a flag of truce, Aegon/Young Griff more than likely after surrender his forces surrender) How do you think Harry/Young Falcon is going to meet his end?

Hi there!

This ask reminded me that there is another Young X to consider, and he fits this pattern.

It had been years since his last vigil. And I was younger then, a boy of fifteen years. He had worn no armor then, only a plain white tunic. The sept where he'd spent the night was not a third as large as any of the Great Sept's seven transepts. Jaime had laid his sword across the Warrior's knees, piled his armor at his feet, and knelt upon the rough stone floor before the altar. When dawn came his knees were raw and bloody. "All knights must bleed, Jaime," Ser Arthur Dayne had said, when he saw. "Blood is the seal of our devotion." With dawn he tapped him on the shoulder; the pale blade was so sharp that even that light touch cut through Jaime's tunic, so he bled anew. He never felt it. A boy knelt; a knight rose. The Young Lion, not the Kingslayer. But that was long ago, and the boy was dead. (AFFC, Jaime I)

This Young Lion, too, died in a crime, if you will: Jaime killed him by killing his king. Though in all honesty he died long before that if he ever lived. Jaime thinks of his knighthood as quite divorced from his other choices even before Aerys. His sordid relationship with Cersei, his lie to Tyrion and the crime against Tysha that followed - were those the actions of a "boy", washed away by his rise to knighthood? Was he ever a true knight if he never questioned himself? Jaime hates the name Kingslayer, but what did the Young Lion ever do but ignore the suffering of innocents in the name of duty?

Robb too "killed the boy" long before his actual death, harrassing the smallfolk of the Westerlands, freezing out his mother's advice and the plight of his sisters - married to his sword. He was the Young Wolf - but like Jaime, he couldn’t live up to the promise enshrined in that name. And the Young Dragon - a boy responsible for the death of thousands, dead before long and his "achievements" falling apart - enough said.

There’s a curse of failure attached to that nickname more than mere death by betrayal. They are young forever because they never get to finish what they started.

The curious thing about Young Griff and the Young Falcon is that both nicknames are erroneously applied. Neither are griffin or falcon in truth. Aegon is a dragon and the sun’s son. Harry is a checkered tablecloth (House Hardyng) several links removed from the last falcon ancestor. Quartering the Arryn falcon in his coat of arms is an arrogant overstep that banks on the death of a child.

Both will fail to live up to the expectation placed on the nickname - for Aegon those would be the expectations of all those who made him “Young Griff” to fulfill their plans, for Harry the expectation to actually inherit.

Both are likely to die, too. Aegon’s death seems entirely inevtiable but whether it involves parley or surrender or a fiery battle, it will be a crime, either way. He is the rightful Targaryen heir - or he is the king by popular acceptance based on his achievements before Dany’s arrival. Dany killing him will have no righteous angle, and his death will end all dreams of a Targaryen restoration.

Harry...

When Robert dies, Harry the Heir becomes Lord Harrold, Defender of the Vale and Lord of the Eyrie. Jon Arryn's bannermen will never love me, nor our silly, shaking Robert, but they will love their Young Falcon . . . (AFFC, Alayne II)

When the boy dies, the Young Falcon is born. Except the one won’t, so neither will the other.

I imagine his death - which is probable - will be less of a betrayal (unless Lyonel Corbray goes rogue) and more of a mirror to the death of Ser Hugh at the Hand’s Tourney. Inexperience, perhaps even arrogance will meet reality, and put a sudden end to what was supposed to be a promising future. Though he does have the benefit of Sansa’s best wishes: "I pray he proves a worthy knight." So my guess is that his death will perchance be noble in its own way, like Aegon’s is likely to be. Like Waymar Royce’s.

#harry the heir #harry hardyng #harrold hardyng #young falcon #young wolf #young griff #young dragon #young lion #parallels #failure #names in asoiaf

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 7 months

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Note - a Malevolent fic

What note did John’s soul sing? At long last, he had the answer. The note was desperation, and his soul sang a chorus.

Part of the

What note did John’s soul sing? At long last, he had the answer. The note was desperation, and his soul sang a chorus.

Part of the Surrogate series.

AO3

-----------

Through the window, Faroe trained.

She'd been training too hard. Hastur knew this, could see it—she was exhausting her small self, beginning to lose some of the age-appropriate roundness of her cheeks.

She also wasn’t just smiling anymore when not speaking to someone, and in the wake of that loss, Hastur ached. Hastur grieved. Hastur burned.

Deep inside and silent, Hastur howled.

He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t want to accept the advice he’d been… given, but what else could he do?

Was he the only one being offered such things? Maybe it was time at last to ask a question he’d put off because it had terrified him so. Inaction there had only worked out by chance, and ignoring it was no longer the best option.

He had to talk to John.

[What?] said John, automatically responding in R'lyehian before switching back. We’re not doing that anymore, you asshole.

Hastur sighed. “I don’t want to upset Arthur. That’s all.”

Sure you don’t!

Arthur sighed. “I don’t care, John.” It wasn’t the right chord. He knew the feeling he wanted for this crucial moment in the Rite piece, and just wasn’t landing on it.

But he wants to do some secret shit!

Arthur snorted. “Look, I appreciate… all of that, but I need to work, all right? Please just figure it out so we can get back to this.” He resumed his chord progression.

John huffed. Fine. Stubborn ass. There was more affection than should be allowed in such words.

Arthur smirked. "Apparently." The warmth in his tone could not be missed.

Hastur was very good and did not comment on it.

[Well?]

[“I was wondering, of late,” said Hastur in his own tongue, “whatever became of those offers you were evidently receiving.”]

John was silent.

[“From other Outer Gods.”]

[Yes, I know. Fuck. I’ve tried not to think about them.]

[“Why? What did they offer? Do they still offer? That’s my concern.”]

A lie.

John sighed. [It was just so… fucking tone deaf,] he said. [All of them offered variations on the same thing: revenge on you. None of them offered saving Arthur. If they had…]

[“I knew that much from before, John. Please elaborate.”]

John’s left hand paused on the piano.

Arthur sighed. “Really?”

Sorry. Almost done.

A lie.

[Why do you fear for us? Did something happen?]

[“Yes. I killed my son, damaged my daughter, sent my marked into terrible danger, and now must undo the damage I did to the latter two as well as to the piece of me which has earned his freedom. You could say something happened, John.”]

A truth.

But not all of the truth.

John sputtered. [What, you want me to think you’re giving up on joining?]

[“With you, yes. I know you’ll never leave him. Why else do you think I’m establishing you both as an entity to be respected?”]

John sort of choked. It took him a moment too long to answer. [Bullshit!]

[“John, are they still tempting you?”]

John growled. [No. They stopped about two years ago. I never replied to any of them. The offers slowed down and stopped.]

Cold terror gripped him. Only two years ago? They’d continued for so long… [“That is a relief.”]

[Hastur, we need to talk about Gokar’luh.]

Oh, fuck, that came out of nowhere. Hastur froze.

Hastur.

“Thank you for your time, Arthur. Try a c minor seven with the tonic base,” said Hastur.

Arthur did. “Huh. Yeah, that's better. Thanks.”

Hastur.

[“You’re right, John. I know you’re right. But I can’t do it now.”]

[It doesn’t have to be now, but we fucking need to talk about him. With Sunny. He doesn’t know, and… for whatever reason, he remembers more than I did about a lot of this. We need to talk.]

The King in Yellow was completely still.

Hastur!

“We will. I’ll… find a way.” And he fle—

No, not fled, not retreated, just headed back out of the music room because he had to deal with problems, had things to take care of, had things to do—

As I said before you panicked—irrationally, I might add—while it is categorically too late to save your son, it’s not at all too late to save your daughter.

Hastur swung suddenly and looked out the window as though that had been his plan the whole time.

Automatically, he checked his spells. They were working; no one could hear his uneven breath, or see his falling tears. Down below, Faroe tried again to raise the hammer over her head, to bring it down on the rocks as Arthur often did. She didn’t manage; she had to keep stopping, breathing, working little healing spells on the muscles of her back.

This couldn’t continue. The voice had been right. Why are you helping me with this?

I already told you, Tattered King. It is pure bribery; when the time comes, you will choose my exit instead of his.

Hastur leaned on the window. My daughter…

Needs help. And if you act now—I repeat for your sake—it will not be too late. I know you value her well-being above your own, so this is a logical offering. Now: will you be logical in response?

Hastur was silent.

I am aware you are in distress, but it is hardly necessary to be a child.

‘Distress’ did not cover it.

Faroe had to go to her next lessons, and with a scowl, she put away the tools too big for her. Nibbles nudged her; Nibbles, obviously, was not on board with this new path of self-punishment, but didn’t know how to fix it.

Neither did Hastur. But unlike Nibbles, he was an adult, and had resources.

Hastur headed off to his throne room to finish up what he had to do there. Then, he would talk to the Librarian; then… well. His new allies might—might—know something, though how to broach the topic without giving everything away…

Fuck. There was no time for this, but he would make the time. Faroe’s needs trumped all, and she was not okay.

What else did this voice have to offer? What else would it take advantage of before the end came?

Either way, best not to alienate it. Thank you.

Of course. I do enjoy you logical. I suggest you build that pattern; it will make our future easier.

Sure. Whatever.

He shuddered, glad the Outer God had not pressed further. It was terrifying, being spoken to like this. Being offered the most important thing out of nowhere, unable to block it out, unable to hide. Baffling, that John hadn’t been offered what he wanted. This mystery god was too smart to miss something that obvious, so... it hadn’t spoken to John? Why?

He hoped John was telling the truth, and that he wasn’t being bothered anymore. Hastur had wondered, years ago, what note John’s soul sang that drew these horrible beings to him. At long last, he had the answer.

The note was desperation, and his soul sang a chorus.

#malevolent #malevolent fic #malevolent au #kiy malevolent #hastur malevolent #surrogate series

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hermesserpent-stuff · 9 months

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SO a person asked about silver sable in present day for the 'of tombstones and timetravel au' and while i dont have stuff for that we do have some lovely conversations with silvermane in the present day, the poor confused old man dealing with a time traveling waiter!peter.

K for @kzele H for hermes

So theses are some conversations betweens silvermane and peter and tombstone and silvermane.

Warning for platonic yandere in tombstone towards peter. Under the cut because LONG

Basics

Peter takes a shortcut into the Italian section of town and runs into Sable.

K: *bump* "Oh, sorry!" "My bad" ". . .Wait a minute." "Oh, crap." *books it*

H: Silvermane: wait Hold on! " But Peter is already three blocks away

He later sees peter on TV near Lincoln at some sort of gala event chatting

K: [silvermane] tries researching him to find him and figure out what is actually going on.

And then the conversation when they talk again after Silvermane has done his research.

K: Asks him [peter] how he hasn't aged and does not buy having a really good skincare routine. Peter still had to try, though.

H: Peter: That was... My grandfather? Silvermane: *not impressed*

K: Peter: "I mean, there isn't really a plausible response to this that's normal, too."

H: Slivermane: I suppose that's true.

K: Peter: "Remember 'Back to The Future?' Or read 'A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court?' It'll be easier to explain if you have.

H: Silvermane: "... Like that one British show from the 70s?"

K: Peter: *sighs* ". . .How familiar are you with time-travel in general?"

H: Silvermane: Stares at him a little blankly."one episode of doctor who back in the day. Daughter was dating a nerd at the time. Are you trying to tell me you time traveled kid?"

K: Peter: "Seeing as I was born no earlier than sixteen years ago, with full family records proving it, and no signs of aging since you last saw me. what do you think?"

H: Silvermane: "... Point taken. Any particular reason you decided to hang around Tombstone both now and in the past?"\

K: Peter: "Uhh, funny story. I landed on him by accident when I was thrown (also by accident) in the past. We fought, I trash-talked and flipped him, and he found that funny. *mumbles* Masochist. *clears throat* Then, he happened to see me in the present and wanted answers, too."

*shrugs* "He's seemed like he needs a friend (if only to keep him from being too much of an edgelord). *pauses* A favor? For what?"

H: Silvermane: "I still owe you from back in the day. So. If you need something done, I'm here. I don't pass those out lightly."

K: Peter: "Thanks? I'm not sure what you needed to repay considering you always made sure to tip. What did I really do besides waiting on you? Do you take knowing your food preferences that seriously?"

H: Silvermane: *silvermane isn't gonna spell it out but definitely is staring at the kid with a quirked eyebrow* "I do. Good waitstaff is always important. Especially when they go above and beyond"

K: Peter: *Peter is now officially of the mindset that all crime lords are weird* "Alrighty then, I'll be sure to save that for a rainy day. Oh, hey, did you run afoul of Tomby while you were looking for me? He has a tendency to threaten people when I'm not around. Sometimes for stupid reasons, too."

H: Silvermane: "he had some... Choice words for me. He's still a punk at heart."

K: Peter:*groans* "I'll bet he did. The only difference between now and then when it comes to threats is that he uses subtler phrasing for plausible deniability."

H: Silvermane:*small snort and eye roll* "Watch out for yourself kid. World's a dangerous place. And as much as I think that punks on your side, he's grown a lot more dangerous over the years. Keep an eye open." *Starts walking away*

K: Peter: "That goes for you, too. I'd make it miserable for him if he tried anything on me and anyone I know, but I can't watch over you as easily. I'm not dumb enough to think that he won't make an attempt to off you sooner or later, especially if he knows you talked to me."

H: Silvermane: "Oh, I've been in this game a long time Peter. It's not like no one tried to kill me in prison. You don't need to worry about it." *Dramatic exit*

Here is the conversation with Tombstone and Silvermane:

K: What do you think a convo between Tomby and Silvermane would sound like? You said that both prob lost their cool

H: mmmm i think tomby would be very very much like stay away from peter. I dont care what you think you might owe him. doesnt matter. keep away from the kid. and silvermane woud be like/: this isnt your town. Tomby: ah but it is now. your time in prison has left your empire to crumble to ruins

K: Yikes, and Silver would not like that one bit. Shoots back that it won't be for long and Tombstone's like, "uh huh, sure. You already had your shot." Then, Silvermane is like, "Well, you def don't own the kid. That's one thing that he's made clear: you're not his boss or guardian and it's not your business if he talks to me."

At this tombstone loses his cool. Kezle and I agreed that Silvermane sort of cares about Peter.

H: [Silvermane] knows that holding the eyes of a crime boss is often a danger for people. also that look in tomby's eyes is very dangerous and very possessive. more possessive than it had been when the guy had been a young punk

K: He's like, "Bruh, your yandere is showing and it's not super healthy for Peter for you to be like this."

H: Tombstone: "shut up old man."

K: Silvermane: "It's friendly advice, you jumped-up punk. You'll lose him and your friendship if you try to control who he talks to. Peter isn't the type to let you get away with that."

H: Tombstone:*tombstone narrows his eyes* "I dont think you truly understand either of us."

K: SIlvermane: "How's that? Are you going to try and tell me that he's fine with you threatening me right now? Or is there something else I'm supposedly missing?"

H: Tombstone: Tombstone doesn't want to admit that the man may be right. Not even to himself. He stays silent for a moment. "Peter may not always agree with my methods. But we do share a lot of goals. Goals that are not benefited by you over involving yourself in his life."

K: Silvermane: *snorts* "Goals. And how am I interfering with these conveniently vague 'goals' by simply talking to him?"

H: Tombstone: Tombstone thinking about the risks of Silverman finding out Peter is Spider-Man if he is near him too frequently. "I'm sure you'd feel much the same if someone was talking too frequently to your daughter."

K: SIlvermane: "And now we're back to the fact that she is MY kid. And now an adult. You don't have that claim to Peter to make that decision for him. Only his par-guardian does."

H: Tombstone: "Someone has to look after him. Especially with the circles he accidentally falls into. No disrespect to his Guardian but she is not prepared to make the proper decisions. "

K: Silvermane: "Are you going over the Parkers' heads for his sake or yours? And even if it is for his sake, how many times can you do that without becoming a part of the problem?"

H: Tombstone: "..." Tombstone doesn't have an answer for that. It is a concern he holds. Peter had run off before when he had been in the past. He had also chosen not to speak with Tombstone as soon as he had returned to the present. Tombstone wants, no, needs to be the person Peter turns to and keeps that kid safe. But it could go awry so easily…

"Peter cannot always see the full picture."

K: Silvermane: "Neither can you apparently, considering you're making threats to someone who doesn't want to hurt him and has no intention of ever doing so."

H: Tombstone: "..." Now tomby really doesn't know what to say. Sure, silvermane has no intentions of hurting Peter now. Now being the key word. But tombstone is not confident that even Peter's charming personality can save him from the potential fallout of his secret identity. He knows how Silvermane handled rats and snitches in the past and a secret heroes fate is bound to be far worse.

#tssm au #tssm #of tombstones and timetravel au #hermes speaks #kzele au #tssm l. tompson lincoln #tssm silvermane #tssm peter parker

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dragoon-the-greatest · 1 year

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Okay, 🔥hot take🔥 time

The age old debate: should Merlin have told Arthur about his magic? Did he owe him the truth? I've always come down hard in the "of course not" category, but I think it's a little more complicated of an issue than I've given it credit for.

Yes I know this has been discussed a million times and the show ended 10 years ago but this is still so interesting to me

First off, a disclaimer: for those that interpret magic as being a metaphor for whatever secret you might have in real life: you do not owe anyone this information about yourself. In real life, these things really only impact you and you don't need to tell anyone anything you aren't comfortable with. That said, I am going to proceed with the understanding that I am only using magic as a literal part of the show and not as a metaphor for anything else.

Merlin did not owe Arthur the truth about his magic as a basic principle. Like, if he was just going about life as Arthur's manservant, even if they were friends, Merlin had every right to keep that info to himself. HOWEVER. Merlin wasn't just a manservant. He took up a role as a protector of Arthur and of Camelot, as well as (intentionally or not) someone who advised Arthur. Merlin didn't just keep his magic a secret; Merlin knew of and regularly fought against several dangers to the kingdom that Arthur, as the person whose literal job it was to protect the kingdom, had every right to know about. Because Merlin used his magic to suss out dangers and to fight, he kept the truth about either the severity, or sometimes the entirety, of a threat from Arthur (again, the person who was actually in charge of protecting Camelot).

The result of this was Arthur not only not knowing about the potential good in magic and the number of times it had been used in defense of his citizens, but it also led him to underestimate the magical threats against Camelot. Arthur heard about a magical threat, was told by Gaius that it could only be defeated by magic, and then (supposedly) defeated the threat anyway; this told him that not only was he perfectly capable of handling these threats without magic, but that Gaius's warnings shouldn't be taken too seriously. Merlin set himself up as the sole protection Camelot had against magic, and then he regularly put himself in harm's way for Arthur's sake, as if his loss wouldn't then have an equally devastating effect on the wellbeing of the kingdom. From a purely tactical standpoint, if Arthur knew the truth about the exact nature of the threats against Camelot and what was needed to defeat them, then not only would he know enough to know that the current laws were unjust and unsustainable, but he would also be able to plan for a better magical defense system than a single exhausted warlock who also had two other full time jobs.

If Merlin was just a manservant, he would have zero obligation to tell Arthur anything about magic at all, let alone his own magic. But by intervening when the kingdom was threatened and then hiding the truth from the people who were supposed to plan for these things, he (unintentionally) set himself up as the only person who was qualified to make decisions for the kingdom, with no one else to assist him due to pure lack of awareness as to the nature of current events. This resulted in Merlin making difficult and questionable but still understandable and justifiable decisions, like setting the dragon free and poisoning Morgana, and progressed to decisions that were not his to make in any way, like lying to Arthur about his mother (also, Merlin was pissed when Gaius hid his parentage from him, so like, buddy why?) and enchanting the king and literally taking away his free will because Merlin thought he would put up too much of a fight about getting to safety. His treatment of Mordred and advice with the Disir were also questionable but not quite to the scale of the others, I think. And barely anyone even knows he's making these decisions to begin with.

Arthur, when making these types of decisions, is held accountable to an extent because everyone knows every decision he makes. He's the king so he has the final say, but he also has councilors, friends knights, Gwen, and even (especially?) Merlin who can call him out if he's going down the wrong path. Merlin has no one (consistently) other than a dragon who operates on a completely different moral scale and a traumatized old man who has made his own fair share of questionable decisions to hold him accountable, and this is evident through his aforementioned actions, especially in the later seasons of the show. Merlin has such good intentions! But no one person should have that much power. Arthur has Merlin to balance him out (not to mention the rest of the court); Merlin has no one.

Merlin wanted to hide his magic and he wanted to follow destiny, but I don't think it was possible for him to do both. He didn't have to stay in Camelot, and he didn't have to use his magic to fight threats to it (although of course he would feel an obligation to help, so best case scenario for him safety-wise would probably be leaving), but he did. Merlin was also powerful enough even if Arthur did decide to execute Merlin for his magic (which, you know, he probably wouldn't have but we'll never know for sure), Merlin was capable of fighting back or making an escape if needed; it's not like he was completely helpless. He could even plan out a quick get away in advance, especially if he told Arthur outside of Camelot.

That said! He stood to lose a lot for sure! His life in Camelot, his position, his friends, etc. It was dangerous and this is not to say that telling the truth about his magic would have been no big deal. However: when he started defending the kingdom, I think that's the point at which Merlin did in fact owe Arthur at least part of the truth, not necessarily about his magic but about the threats he faced and how they were defeated. If it was possible to do this without exposing his magic, then great! But Merlin used his magic as a justification for hiding necessary details about running the kingdom from Arthur. For all that Merlin professed to trust Arthur and that he would be a great king, he never gave Arthur the chance to prove it.

Not that Arthur was perfect in this by any stretch; he shouldn't have needed Merlin to spell out for him (so to speak) that genocide is wrong, for one thing. He did have some examples of good or neutral magic to work with. Maybe not enough to completely override all the bad experiences with magic, but at least enough to question the justice of the magic ban. But Arthur was also constantly operating under limited information, and he typically did the best he could with what he did know.

Both from a tactical and personal standpoint, there were things Merlin hid that Arthur did in fact have a right to know. Arthur had several enemies he had no knowledge of and several near-death experiences he either didn't remember or misunderstood because of Merlin hiding the truth from him. The sidhe enchanted him and almost drowned him, he and Vivian were placed under a love spell from a visiting king, his first common-born knight who then died honorably did not come back to make moves on his fiancee (Gwen's enchantment not mentioned since Merlin likely didn't know about it); Arthur had every right to know about these things! There was a lot more that Arthur could have done in the canon script even without the full story, true, but that could be a whole separate post. For the purposes of this post, Merlin's secrets made Arthur's growth as a person and as a just king much harder than it needed to be.

TL;DR: By taking the role of a protector/advisor, Merlin lost some of the rights to his own secrets, simply because they were no longer just his secrets he was keeping. He did not owe Arthur the truth about his magic if that was the only thing he was hiding, but he did owe Arthur, as the prince-then-king, the truth about the nature of the threats he was facing and the facts about his own life. Merlin used his magic as an excuse to withhold necessary information from Arthur, and as a result Arthur operated under mistaken beliefs about threats to the kingdom and his own fighting capabilities while Merlin was free to make decisions on behalf of the kingdom with little to no accountability.

Also, for the record, this is not a criticism of Merlin's character, just an example of how a character can be flawed and impact other characters in a negative way even with the best of intentions. I LOVE Merlin's character, he is extremely compelling and did what he believed to be the best he could with the circumstances he was given, and the fact that he is in fact morally grey and not a perfect hero is one of the things that gives this show so much depth.

#bbc merlin #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #long post #merlin meta

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