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myocsfanfictions · 5 months

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South Side Story

Shameless Fanfiction Season 1

Desna Hills has come living in the Southside of Chicago four years before. Taken in by Kev and V, Desna is close friends with the Gallaghers. Let's see how this Southside story unfolds.

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Chapter 11

Canada.

Frank Gallagher was in Canada.

“How’s it possible?” Desna had asked with wide eyes observing V that had just entered the house to inform her.

“Steve apparently,” Veronica had said taking a breath.

“That’s fucked up,” Desna had said.

Her eyes followed Carl and Debbie play in the playgrounds. Since Kevin and Veronica were the only two with passports they went with Steve to cross the border and bring Frank back in America. It was unbelievable that Steve had take the man and left him in Canada, but on the other hand Desna didn’t feel like blame him. The girl looked at the children play, running around as she was sitting on the swing. She was Carl’s age when she was taken away from her family. Her mother was drunk since a young age and she had tried to get sober more than once, the last time she tried social service took Desna into foster care, she must have been Liam’s age at that point. Her first memories started when her mother was sober, cooking, playing, normal stuff… it was in that period that Kev had met Desna and her mother, he was a neighbor and Desna remembered that she liked to play with Kev even if she could not remember it clearly.

But when she was seven year old he came into their life.

She remembered him the first time he meet her, so charming, so nice and friendly. Everyone in the neighborhood liked him. Desna liked him as well, finally seeing her mother happy and serene. And Desna was finally feeling like she could have a normal family, like the one her friends at school had. The day her mother had married that man, he promised that he would have taken care of her, protect them and that they would have been happy. And they believed it. But they were wrong.

It didn’t take long for him to show his true face; a violent drug dealer, violent and egoistic. He got angry at everything at anything, and he would beat her mother almost everyday. Desna was eight and he had terrorized her, telling her that if she would have tell what was happening to anyone he would have killed them both. It didn’t take long for her mother to relapse. She started to drink. And the worst part was that she said that she loved him, and that he was right. She did nothing to protect herself, or her daughter. And once his attention moved to Desna, she did nothing.

What kind of parents let their children suffer? What kind of parents choose themselves over their kids? They could not defend themselves, they were there to show them the way, not to keep drinking so that that could struggle all their life.

Social services saved her life. When Kev knew what had happened, he looked for her and decided to take her in with V.

If Frank Gallagher would have left probably social services would have taken the Gallaghers away. But that could not happen.

She observed Debbie and Carl.

Desna was alone, they weren’t, and no one cared to keep siblings together.

They were stuck, a shit of a father or the perspective to face the future alone, without the people that they relied the most on.

“D,” as she cared Karen’s voice, Desna had to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

“You know my name very well, Karen,” she said without turning, “Cut the shit out.”

Karen giggled sitting on the swing next to her, “Someone is stressed, why don’t you go fuck, Lip?” Then she gasped, “Oh wait, you can’t.”

Desna turned to Karen, “What do you want?”

“Always knew you were the jealous time,” Karen seemed very amused by what was going on, “I bet you can’t even think at how many things me and Lip are doing right now.”

That made Desna scoff.

“It’s not about that,” Desna answered, before turning away, “You wouldn’t understand anyway.”

She could feel Karen’s eyes on her, and she just wished that she would have left soon.

“You think you’re better than me?” Karen challenged.

On Desna’s lips appeared a smile as her eyes moved back to the girl next to her, “Yeah,” Karen seemed taken aback by her words.

“I give a shit about who I care about,” Desna said, “And in return I want to know where I stand. Sex is fun, but I’m not a whore,” then she stood up calling for the kids, “Honestly Karen, you two can fuck how much you want, I’m not jealous of you. I’m jealous that you have a space in his life.”

The days went by, Frank was back, and their usual life came back again. She went to school, studied and went to work. She worked almost everyday, she had nothing else to do so why not earn some more money? She didn’t went to the Gallaghers as much, especially when she knew that Lip was at home. And when they met they didn’t really speak, they avoided look at each other more than they had to. And she missed him, but she was not going to tell him anything. Probably it was better like that.

“Why do I need to even study French?” Ian complained on top of the ladder as he was organizing the goods on a shelf.

“Culture?” Desna asked teasingly, “Helping an handsome Frenchguy in need?” He glared at her when she passed him a bag of chips.

“It’s easy for you,” he complained, “You’ve got all straight A in French,” then it turned with a frown, “Are you taking Spanish classes as well?”

“Claro que sí,” he gave her another glare, and that made her giggle as she passed him another goods, “Come on, let me brag a little bit, these are the only classes where I got good grades,” she then took a break, “Since I’ve stopped seeing Lip even those went down.”

“What other things went down?” Ian asked with a teasing smile.

Desna tilted his head, “My patience to deal with smartasses,” Ian chuckled getting down the ladder.

“I didn’t think you’d resist to much without seeing each other,” Ian said as he got closer to another shelf and Desna followed him taking a breath.

“Yeah, well…” she said, “I’m not planning to see him any time soon,” Ian turned to her leaning his arm on the ladder, with a frown.

“I admit that I don’t understand the whole Karen’s thing, and you like him,” He was saying and her brown moved up in a frown.

“That’s not why I broke it off,” Desna stopped him. And her words took him by surprise.

“Then what happened?”

“I thought he told you,” she answered confused.

“He told me you left him,” he said, his face serious as he observed her looking away with a scoff.

“Did he mention what he told me?” She asked crossing her arms over her chest. And when he shook his head, she spoke again, “Lip is very vocal in calling Karen his best friend,” then she shrugged her shoulders, “That’s fine, I don’t care. But when I’ve asked him what am I to him, his answer was ‘a good fuck’,” Ian eyes widened.

“Exact words?” He asked.

“Yep,” she said bitterly nodding her head,

“Shit…” he muttered.

Then Desna took a breath “I-I knew that he didn’t want a relationship,” she said, “And I knew that he has a thing for Karen, but… I don’t know…”

Ian observed her, “Did you two talked about you’re umm… situationship?”

“Not at first,” she answered honestly, “I mean after the first time we had sex, we’d started to jump at each other at any moment we could,” they really did. After that night on the couch they just couldn’t keep their hands for each other, and what started as steamy sex started out of nowhere, became real encounters.

“I just wanted to know if he cares about me just a little,” she admitted, “And it hurt me that he does not see anything else in me, if not sex.”

Ian’s hand moved to touch her arm and she smiled a little at his touch, “I think he’s just an asshole,” he said making her turn with a frown, “He can say whatever, but he would not be that upset if he didn’t care just a little.”

“Is he upset? Even now?” She asked with wide eyes and Ian nodded his head. If he was upset then maybe he cared, even just a little. Maybe he missed her. And for some reason she could not stop the smile on her face, “Am I a bitch if it feels good to know?”

Ian chuckled, “No,” and that made her laugh.

As they were laughing the door of the shop opened making the two of them turn. Desna looked at Ian when she noticed Mandy Milkovich stepping in the shop.

“She is here for you,” Desna muttered. Ian shoved her a little.

Mandy was Mikey’s sister and she was in the same grade as Ian and Desna. History class together. And lately she had started to give Ian lots of attention, trying to talk to him every time she could. Desna had told that to Ian but he usually dismissed her, saying that she was imagining things.

“I’m telling you, man, she is here to flirt with you,” she said, her eyes on Mandy that was looking around.

“She is here to shop,” Ian said firmly.

“Of course she is, you’re a snack,” at her answer he glared at her, and that made her giggle.

“Ian!” Mandy greeted him as she walked closer.

“I’mma go,” Desna said, she felt Ian hand trying to grab her, but she dodged him. She had noticed how Mandy seemed not to like when Desna talked to Ian, and for how much she loved him, she really didn’t want any more troubles with any Milkovich. She waved at Ian as she exited the shop, feeling a little bad and a little amused by how he was looking at her.

Desna was walking back home, her mind thinking about it’s favorite subject once again. Lip apparently was upset for some reason, and a part of her felt great about it, maybe he really missed her, maybe he really cared, but the other part of her told her that it was sex that he missed, only that, end her joy started to die down a little.

“Hello,” the voice of Iggy Milkovich made her stop. He was standing in front of her, observing her body with that gaze that really made her feel uneasy.

“What do you want?” She asked, unconsciously making a step back when he got closer. On his lips a viscous smirk.

“You know what I want,” he said moving his hand, but as his fingers touched her face, she slapped his hand away.

“I told you not to touch me!” She exclaimed and he raided his hands with a low chuckle.

“No worries,” he said, “I’m not going to do anything that you’ll not agree doing.”

Her eyes studied his movements in case of any possible action from him, “That’ll never happen,” she stated firmly, but that chuckle left his lips again as he leaned forward.

“Don’t worry, you will,” he said.

“Why would I do that?” She asked with a shaky voice, she didn’t like his eyes. Her breath get caught in her throat when he moved to speak into her ear.

“You’ll see,” those words made her feel suddenly cold, unable to move. Iggy looked at her one more time before walking past her.

He was starting to terrorize her. She didn’t like his eyes, there’s was only lust in them. He wanted to have her again and she coursed herself for having put herself in that situation. She did exactly what she should have to avoid. As she felt him far from her she let out a shaky breath. He was not going to hurt her, he couldn’t. She tried to convince herself that Iggy Milkovich would have not touched her, but her hands started shaking again.

********

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skyeeuphixia · 11 months

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𝚐𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 // 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜

gallagher siblings x sister oc (claudia)

summary: in which claudia forgives this chapter is inspired by the girl meets world episode: girl meets the Forgiveness Project original gmw characters have had their names changed except cory and topanga

for context: claudia is the middle gallagher child, being older than debbie and younger than ian, in this she is 15 years old, ian is 16 and debbie is 12. this takes place just over a year after monica attempted to take liam. ══════════════════

warnings: family issues, swearing, Monica word count: 6.6k

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Claudia Gallagher.

The odd Gallagher out you could say.

Her long, curly hair was a shade blonder than her older brother Lip's, and she possessed a unique sense of style, constantly experimenting with different clothing choices as she didn't like to limit herself to one style.

Unlike her more outspoken siblings, Claudia preferred to keep to herself, often remaining silent about her own struggles with her family. Her older siblings, Fiona, Lip, and Ian saw both positives and negatives in her reserved nature. On the one hand, they had one less person's problems to deal with but on the other hand, they never knew what problems were going through that forever racing mind of hers.

The exception to Claudia's quiet demeanour was her relationship with Lip, her closest sibling. Although hesitant to burden him with her own issues while he was already grappling with his own challenges, she still confided in him more than anyone else. However, her reserved nature didn't extend to her school life.

What they didn't know, is that Claudia had an amazing teacher. Mr. Matthews. He was the father of her best friend of 11 years and had become somewhat of a support system for the girl, so she had known him before he even began teaching her. As a history teacher, Mr Matthews possessed a remarkable ability to intertwine life lessons with historical events. Claudia and her close group of friends would often solve their own problems by applying the wisdom gained from his captivating lessons.

For the longest time, Mr Matthews had always been right in Claudia's eyes. However, there came a moment when his guidance proved to be wrong.

It was a rare occasion when Claudia found herself questioning the advice of her beloved teacher, realizing that even the most knowledgeable mentors can occasionally make mistakes.

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Claudia entered her favourite class of the day, accompanied by her close friends Jayden, Emily, Matt, and Noah. Their History teacher, Mr Matthews, leaned against the front of his desk, lacking his usual enthusiastic greeting for the students.

The classroom fell into silence as the students took their seats, eagerly anticipating what they would be learning that day. Their attention was drawn to the blackboard, where bold white letters spelt out a single word: "FORGIVENESS."

Once the class had settled down, Mr Matthews began to speak, pacing the front of the class, "Throughout history, nations have resorted to war to resolve their conflicts. While we often discuss said wars in this class, today I want to focus on peace and forgiveness, and how we can achieve them."

"Every once in a while, I come up with a good idea," Mr Matthews smiled, his excitement resembling that of a young child eager to share their playtime adventures with you.

"What could it possibly be that I haven't thought of before?" Matt, the resident 'nerd' of the class announced slightly smug.

"Matt, I forgive you," Mr Matthews unexpectedly declared, catching the student off guard.

"What did I do?" Matt questioned, perplexed by the sudden forgiveness.

"I forgive you too," Jayden said, a sour tone lacing his voice, as he stared at Matt intensely.

"What did I do?!" Matt raises his voice, completely baffled by these statements of forgiveness, that were, as far as he was aware, coming from nowhere.

"Oh you know," Jayden retorted, turning back to face Mr. Matthews.

"I feel much better!" Mr. Matthews states smiling at the class, "How do you feel, Matt?"

"I apologize for everything I've ever done, and for every time I've hurt you. But seriously, what did I do?" Matt pleaded, desperate for an explanation.

Ignoring the question, Mr Matthews addressed the entire class once again, "Everyone, let me introduce you to this week's assignment: the forgiveness project. Our personal histories extend beyond our own actions. True growth comes from repairing our mistakes and choosing to forgive those who have wronged us."

"Hmm, count us in," Emily declared, a bright smile adorning her face. "What do we need to do?"

"Everyone, look at the paper on your desk, take out a pen and start writing," Mr Matthews begins explaining, moving to his desk and pulling out a stack of red envelopes, "This is not your laptop or cellphone, you have unlimited characters here, as many words as you want, so use them."

He distributed a stack of envelopes to the front desks, ensuring they could be passed down the rows. Claudia took one envelope and handed the rest to Noah, stretching her arm above her head. As she stared at the envelope, she contemplated whom she should write to. There were many people she could forgive, including her family members.

Fiona for grounding her after Carl broke a window and blamed it on her.

Lip for flaking on her for Karen Jackson on a few occasions.

Ian, for spilling milk all over her English assignment worth 25% of her final grade.

Debbie for stealing her dolls and losing them.

Carl for finding the dolls and burning them.

Frank for, well everything.

And, then there was Mo-

"The impact of this will last longer than six seconds," Mr Matthews continued, "And I can guarantee that the impact will never disappear, so go ahead. Write. Express emotions. This is going to be one of the most important things you do in your life, you're about to forgive someone,"

"What's this got to do with history Matthews?" Claudia inquires, leaning casually forward on her desk, her interest piqued.

"It's got everything to do with history, Miss Gallagher. You're being given the chance to change it." Mr Matthews replied, his eyes filled with purpose, knowing that she of all people would benefit the most from said lesson.

"Like when I forgave Rory for biting off the face of my favourite bunny teddy, Babbit," Emily announced sincerely.

Mr Matthews looked at her with a puzzled expression, "Honey, that was not forgiveness."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not over it!" Mr Matthews accused.

"This is the first thing I'm faced with every day!" Emily says angrily, pulling a raggedy old rabbit teddy, whose face had been completely torn off, the fluff protruding from its face.

The rest of the class glanced at Emily and her rabbit briefly, then quickly moved on. This dynamic within the class might have seemed peculiar to outsiders, but it was a familiar occurrence. Claudia, Emily, Noah, Matt, and Jayden had developed a bond with Mr Matthews that allowed them to seek his guidance and openly express themselves during class. While the other students might not have engaged in the same way, they, too, had their own connections with other teachers.

Nevertheless, Mr Matthews remained the favourite teacher of their group.

"Moving on, is there anyone in your life that you want to forgive?" Mr Matthews asked, "Go ahead. Change your history,"

The entire class began writing fervently, pouring their emotions onto paper, except for Claudia. In truth, she had already forgiven everyone on her list, even Frank. There was only one person who lingered in her mind, but could she truly find it in her heart to forgive them? Not to mention, her family had deliberately kept her away from this individual for years. The last time they had shown up, Lip had whisked her away to Emily's house to ensure they avoided each other. It had been over four years, and if her older siblings had their way, it would remain that way for the rest of her life.

"Dear Rory, the murderer..." Emily began, distaste for her 6-year-old brother lacing her voice.

Mr. Matthews notices Claudia's distant look, as her hand hovers slightly above the paper in front of her, "Claudia, no one in your life that you want to forgive?"

"No," Claudia shrugs nonchalantly, shrugging her arms, and then clapping her hands together slightly.

Noah glanced up from his own paper, looking at the back of Claudia's head. He leaned forward slightly and whispered, "Now might be the right time, don't you think?"

"You and your siblings seem to be in a good place now. You're strong, Claudie. Don't you want to forgive someday? Why not now?" Emily encouraged her best friend, her face displaying a mix of sympathy and support.

Claudia smiled sweetly at her best friend before turning her attention to the piece of paper in front of her. She began writing, a faint chuckle escaping her lips. Emily wore a satisfied smile, clasping her hands together.

Claudia, however, stopped writing rather quickly. Passing the note to her best friend, not bothering to look at her. Emily took the note happily, somehow believing that Claudia had let out 15 years of emotion in a few words.

"Ahem. Emily. Butt out." She read aloud, her voice devoid of emotion. "I am dead serious. Butt your butt out." Claudia smiled sarcastically as her best friend turned to face her.

"I forgive you," Emily deadpanned.

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Claudia and Emily sat together in the back corner of the Alibi, the familiar hang-out spot for their group of friends when they weren't at school or each other's houses. Despite Kev's initial reluctance to have kids or teenagers in the bar, he had made an exception for the Gallaghers and their close friends. Having met Claudia's group a few times, Kev trusted them completely, especially Emily and Matt, who showed a lot of responsibility.

They watched as V and Kevin attempted to train Fiona and Lip to be good servers. Kev had offered them part-time jobs to help support the family, but it wasn't going smoothly. Fiona had already exchanged heated words with multiple customers for being too demanding or ungrateful, and Lip had come close to getting into a physical altercation over a payment dispute. Even V, known for her feisty nature, couldn't believe their behaviour.

But it was making for an entertaining afternoon for the younger Gallagher siblings and the two best friends. Emily and Claudia sat laughing together, watching the scene at the bar as Lip, Kev and Veronica, even Emily's mother (Topanga, who had shown up to help serve) all held back Fiona, who is attempting to pour a beer over some man's head.

"See, I love your family!" Emily exclaimed, gesturing toward the scene. "Sure, you guys have your differences and struggles, but you're all so close. I don't know how you do it."

Claudia admitted with a hint of uncertainty, "In all honesty, neither do I. But hey, I love your family too. That's why I'm over at your place more than half the time."

They continued their conversation, listing the reasons why they cherished each other's families. Claudia expressed her desire to have Mr and Mrs Matthews as her parents, while Emily shared her appreciation for the Gallaghers as her honorary siblings. Their banter filled the air with lightheartedness, momentarily overshadowing the tension building at the bar.

Suddenly, the entire Alibi fell into an eerie silence, followed by the sound of glass shattering on the floor. Claudia and Emily's attention shifted towards the entrance, where everyone's gaze had fixated. Standing there was a middle-aged woman, with curly blond hair messier than Claudia's, who looked better than Claudia had expected. However, she had never anticipated this individual would show up at all.

"You're gonna want to watch what happens next very carefully," Claudia murmured to her best friend.

"What do you me-" Emily began to ask, but before she could finish, the shouting erupted, drowning out their conversation.

Every single Gallagher in the room, aside from Frank and Liam (who weren't there, not to mention Liam's only 4, he wouldn't have much to say) and Claudia unleashed their anger and frustration upon the woman. Some remained rooted in place, while others moved to surround her. The cacophony of voices made it difficult to make out the exact words being exchanged, but the intensity of their anger was unmistakable.

"Oh my gosh!" Emily says lightly, realisation hitting her like a ton of bricks, "Is that her?! Is she her? Did you do it? Did you do the assignment?"

"I wrote something and mailed it. Please say it was a good move," Claudia looked at her friend with a small amount of hope, only to be met with her friend's distressed face.

"It was a bad move!" She cried.

"What but you encouraged this?! Why is it a bad move?!"

"Tried it with Rory, doesn't work! They don't apologize. Forgiveness is for jerks!" Emily explained, her voice tinged with frustration.

"Well, I'm glad you told me in time Em!" Realizing the gravity of the situation, Claudia shifted her attention back to the unfolding scene. Fiona, Lip, and the others were completely engrossed in the confrontation, their emotions running high. Even Topanga, who had joined them, struggled to make sense of the chaos.

"What on earth is going on?! Is this what you do for like your one-millionth customer or something?" Topanga shouted, her confusion evident.

"No," V and Kev shouted in unison, their voices barely audible above the heated exchange.

"Ma'am, how are you okay with this?" Topanga asked the woman, who was just standing there taking all the yelling and insults.

"I was kind of expecting it actually," The lady admitted, she had a naturally strained and shaking voice, which made her sound like she was on the brink of crying even if she wasn't.

Topanga turned to the owners who seemed to be yelling the quietest out of the group, "Kevin, Veronica, who is this woman?"

But she receives no answers as the yelling continues.

"Stop it!" Fiona yells, halting all movements and silencing the entire bar.

No one speaks as the Gallaghers all look at one another to find the culprit that invited Monica before they all realise that Monica was staring just beyond them. They all turn to face behind them slightly, only for Claudia to pass by them hesitantly, standing in front of Monica, the two of them staring at each other intensely.

"Hi, Claudia," Monica greeted her softly.

"Hi, Mom."

A heavy silence enveloped the bar as the Gallagher family and Emily watched their interaction, stunned by Claudia's unexpected decision to invite Monica back into their lives. The realization that Claudia had taken such a bold step left them bewildered, as they had always shielded her from the pain Monica had caused in the past. As a kid, she was always the one that got disappointed the most, upset the most, hurt the most. Never in a million years did they expect her to invite the woman back.

The silence was interrupted by Emily joining her best friend's side, "Hi, I'm Emily. I've heard a lot about you," she announced, slight hesitance in her voice.

"Hi Emily, You a good friend of Clauds?" Monica asked, making Claudia cringe slightly at both the question and the nickname.

Emily? A good friend? It never once occurred to Claudia that she wouldn't know who Emily was. If you knew Claudia, you knew Emily.

Emily scoffed slightly, looking at Monica with a 'Are you fucking joking?' look, "I'm sorry and please don't take this the wrong way, but what?!"

"Emily is my best friend," Claudia stated, disappointment evident in her voice, "But you wouldn't know much about her...or me."

Monica smiled a genuine smile at Emily, "Thank you, for being Claudia's best friend."

"It's easy, because Claudia's great, she's the best person that I know," She said honestly.

"In that case, I'm happy that she found you,"

Emily leaned into her friend slightly, making it look like she was going to whisper something, but keeping the same volume when talking to her, meaning that Monica and the Gallaghers could all hear what she had to say, "I was picturing a monster. She doesn't seem like a monster. She seems more like Frosty the Snow Guy,"

Fiona stepped forward slightly, her face void of emotion, Her question cut through the tension like a knife. "What are you doing here, Monica?"

"I uh...was invited," She said hesitantly, holding out a red envelope.

"What?" Fiona asks, her arms going completely limp and her face now taking on an expression of utter disappointment.

The realization of her father's involvement sank in, and Emily interjected, attempting to diffuse the situation and deter any negative feelings towards Claudia. "This is all my dad's fault!"

"Your father had an idea?" Topanga groaned.

"Uh-huh,"

"Oh god,"

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Monica stepped back into the Alibi after using the bathroom, anyone who wasn't a Gallagher or Kev, V, Topanga and Emily had now been kicked out, and the tension hung heavy in the air, with everyone either sitting down or leaning against the bar, waiting for what would happen next.

Monica smiled awkwardly before making her way to the door, residing that her presence had done enough and she should probably leave, but before she gets halfway across the room Ian interrupts her.

"You said you were going out for a walk and would be back in an hour," Ian announced, his voice tinged with bitterness. "You're four years late."

Monica tried to defend herself, her voice tinged with a hint of regret. "Well, I did come back about two years ago!"

"Funny, that was just for 24 hours, and you tried to steal Liam," Fiona scoffed, her voice filled with resentment.

Monica's shoulders dropped slightly, but instead of creating, she put on a happy face and turned to Claudia, who was once again sitting with Emily, "I was really happy to get a letter from you, Clauds. And that you've got a friend like Emily there,"

"This girl here has been more of a mother to me than you," Claudia said, putting her hand in Emily's.

Emily playfully pulled Claudia closer, leaning on her shoulder and dramatically stroking her hair. "Yeah, Fiona, Lip, and I raised her since she was a pup!"

Monica's face faltered momentarily, but she quickly recovered, trying to salvage the situation. "Well, I can tell you all did an incredible job."

"So...you left," Claudia stated, looking at her mother, "Why weren't we good enough?"

"No," Fiona starts, pointing at her sister, "No, no, no, Claudie, this isn't about us, or you, and what we did, it's about her, and what she's done,"

"Yeah! Claudie that really wasn't it," Monica agrees, looking hopefully at her oldest, who just rolls her eyes and moves away.

Emily, feeling the tension, stood up awkwardly. "You know what? This is a family problem, and I should probably be anywhere but here." She attempted to walk away, but Claudia quickly grabbed her and pulled her back into her seat.

"Nope, you're staying with me, you are my family. Oh, that reminds me, how that family you were planning on starting?"

"Fine..." Monica says hesitantly, "It's fine,"

Topanga moves to sit by the two girls "Emily, do you care to explain to me what your fathers 'brilliant' idea is here?"

"Our assignment was to forgive somebody," Emily explained.

"What does that have to do with-"

"It changes our history,"

"Oh...that's pretty good," Topanga smiles slightly.

"So, Claudie wrote to her, and she showed up,"

"To forgive her?" Fiona asked, her tone laced with scepticism as she scrutinized her sister.

"Yeah, that was the assignment, Fi. I've never failed an assignment before," Claudia murmured, her conflicted feelings evident. "But I haven't decided if I'm gonna pass or fail this one yet."

"Well, whichever you decide, sweetie, thank you so much for reaching out to me," Monica tells her, her words filled with a mix of gratitude and underlying pain.

Emily, who had been quietly observing the exchange, spoke up. "You know, this would be a lot easier for me if she were a monster," she said, addressing Claudia. She glanced at her best friend for a moment before standing up and approaching her mother.

"Do you remember that night when some guys were going around shooting stuff from their car, a few streets from ours? I was five, and I thought the sound was so loud that the world was breaking in half," Claudia began, her voice carrying a mixture of vulnerability and accusation.

"Why bring this up?" Monica asked, everyone else, except for one, was equally confused. But claudia ignored the question.

"I was under my covers crying and you came flying into the room, and peeked under the covers and decided to make it a game, we were in New York and we were setting off fireworks across the city, and you said the occasional flashes were the lights from the fireworks,"

Debbie, curious about her older sister's fondness for fireworks, asked, "Is this why you like fireworks so much, Claudie?"

"You managed to make that entire night an adventure until it stopped. I woke up the next morning and it was a sunny day. Don't you remember?"

"No Clauds, I don't," Monica admitted.

"Because that never happened. The shooting happened. You didn't,"

"So how come you like fireworks so much Claudie," Carl asks.

Claudia chuckled slightly, a bittersweet sound escaping her lips. She moved closer to the individual leaning against the bar. "Lip, it was Lip who came in. He made it New York, and I wasn't scared at all," she revealed, looking at her older brother with a mix of appreciation and pain.

Lip, his voice tinged with vulnerability, confessed, "The greatest performance of my life. I was terrified. I was only seven myself, but my little sister needed someone, and you weren't there, Monica,"

Emily, her voice filled with curiosity, asked the question that had lingered in the room. "Where were you?"

Monica's admission held a hint of resignation. "I probably wasn't home," she confessed, her voice heavy with regret.

"How could you not be home?" Emily asked, but Claudia answered for her, going back to stand by Emily.

"Because kids, bite rabbit teddy's faces off. Friends ruin movies, and mothers leave. Sometimes you can let go and other times you can't" Claudia looks at her mom for a second before looking back at Emily, "Your dad was wrong this time, Em."

With those words hanging in the air, Claudia turned away and walked out of the Alibi, without bothering to look back. Fiona looks over to Lip, who was looking at the door desperately, "Lip," Fiona gets his attention and then nods to the door.

Lip nodded back, understanding Fiona's silent cue, and swiftly took off after his sister. The room fell into a heavy silence as the door swung shut behind them, leaving Monica standing amidst the weight of her past choices.

The remaining Gallaghers exchanged glances with one another, their emotions evident on their faces. Fiona turned her attention to Monica, disappointment written all over her face, "Now what Monica? Where do you go from here?"

Monica contemplated for a moment, her gaze meeting Fionas, "I don't have all the answers for you Fiona, it's too late for all of you here, but Clauds reached out for a reason,"

The room fell into contemplative silence as the remaining Gallagher family members processed Monica's words. Their sister wanted to forgive. Something they themselves couldn't bring themselves to do.

══════

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lip says, catching up with Claudia quickly and matching her pace as she continues to walk. Frustration is evident in his voice as he confronts her, "Inviting Monica back, intending to forgive her?! What were you thinking?"

Claudia's steps falter slightly, her face flushed with a mix of guilt and defiance. She turns to face Lip, her voice filled with equal parts frustration and vulnerability, "I don't know, Lip. We needed to forgive someone, and I couldn't think of anyone but Monica. You've always told me how unreliable she is. I didn't expect even an answer back, let alone for her to show up!"

Lip shakes his head, his tone laced with exasperation, "And what were you planning to do if she did, which evidently, is what occurred?"

"I don't know, Lip! Okay, I don't! I wasn't thinking, I had no plan. All I saw was an assignment, and everyone else seemed to think it would be a good idea," Claudia replies, her voice tinged with frustration and regret.

Lip's anger softens momentarily as he looks at his younger sister, his expression a mix of concern and disappointment, "Claudia, all our lives, Fiona, Ian, and I have tried to protect you from being exposed to her, from being disappointed or hurt again. Why ruin all that?"

Losing some of her defensiveness, Claudia's voice wavers "Lip, I've told you, I don't know. I have no excuses."

As they reached their house, Claudia immediately made her way up to her room, slamming her door. Her room was originally the room that is now Debbie's, but after Debbie was born she didn't want to share with a baby, she wanted to share with Lip. But neither Lip nor Ian were willing to move rooms, and at the time, there was no room in their bedroom, and Fiona was not giving up her room. However, just by Ian's bed was a door to a small walk-in closet, that the boys used to store toys and clothes, somehow a 9-year-old Fiona and 5-year-old Lip managed to clear out the storage and pull the then 3-year-old's, toddler bed into the room, as well as somehow fit most of the rest of her stuff.

Ever since then, it was her room. Even if the bed took up all of it.

Claudia sat on her bed, her knees up to her chest, her blanket pulled above her head. She didn't know how long she was sitting there before she heard her door open.

Lip sighed, his anger subsiding as he realized the weight of his words on Claudia. He understood that his reaction had been fueled by years of protecting his younger sister from their mother's absence. Seeing Monica again had ignited a torrent of emotions he hadn't anticipated.

The door shut and she assumed he left and she remained still until she felt her bed dip and sensed Lip's presence beside her. The blanket was lifted, inviting Lip under its shelter, and soon they were huddled together.

"Claudia, I'm sorry," Lip said, his voice softer now. "I was too harsh. It's just seeing Monica again, it stirred up a lot of anger in all of us. And the fact that you were the one who invited her here... it hurt, Claudie. We've spent so much of our lives trying to shield you from her, to protect you from disappointment and pain. I just don't understand why you would want to risk that?"

"Lip, I've told you already—I don't know. I didn't have a plan. I'm sorry I wasted all your efforts,"

Lip shook his head gently. "No, Claudia, it's not about wasted efforts. You're fifteen, and you have the right to make your own decisions. But what we need from you is to communicate with us, to let us know what's going on in your head. We'll always be there to warn you about the risks, but we also want you to trust us enough to share your thoughts and feelings. And you know what? I believe you'll pass your assignment, maybe not in the way you expect, but you will. I've had Mr Matthews as a teacher, he has a plan for you with this,"

Claudia didn't fully grasp Lip's words at that moment, but she trusted him more than anyone. She found solace in his presence, knowing that she wasn't alone.

══════

"How's the forgiveness project going?" Mr Matthews asked hesitantly. It was the next day, and they were back in their history class. Being close with the group of friends that sat at the front of the class, he had heard about what happened at the Alibi and also knew that not a single person had passed the assignment yet.

"You're killing us, Matthews!" Claudia called out, her frustration still lingering from yesterday's mess. She spent the rest of the evening in her room with Lip, avoiding a conversation with Fiona, knowing her disappointment would be worse than Lip's.

"I gotta say, Matthews, I don't know what you were thinking," Emily chimed in.

"You think forgiveness leads to peace?" Noah starts, already clearly frustrated.

"It leads to war in a movie theatre," Jayden continued.

Last night Noah, Jayden and Matt had gone to the movies together, Matt had promised he wouldn't predict and spoil the movie, but that hadn't happened, he managed to predict the entire movie in the first 10 minutes and spoiled it not just for his friends but the entire movie theatre.

"Well, I'm sure some of you had better experiences!" Mr Matthews said hopefully but was only met with everyone shaking their heads.

"Forgiveness doesn't work, Dad!" Emily complained, "I forgave Rory, and he didn't thank me,"

"Emily did you really forgive Rory?"

"No!"

Mr Matthews rolled his eyes and sighed slightly before turning his attention to the girl sitting at the desk to the left of his daughter, "Claudia, did you forgive your mother?"

"No," Claudia answered softly.

"And we didn't forgive, Matt. Ow," Matt says, Jayden swiftly hitting him in the back of his head with a paper ball for predicting again, this time being able to predict what they were going to say.

Mr Matthews sighed, realizing that forgiveness was proving to be more challenging than he had anticipated. However, he couldn't resist seizing the teaching opportunity. A small smile formed on his face.

"Well it sounds to me like forgiveness is harder than it looks," Mr Matthews smiles, he secretly loves it when the kids don't understand the weight of what he's teaching, so he can prove the value of what he's teaching.

"I tried," Claudia defended herself, "I think I made myself clear, want to hear it?"

"If you're alright with it," Mr Matthews shrugs, inviting her to share.

Claudia retrieved the draft of the letter she had written to her mother. It had been rewritten to look neater, but the words remained the same. She hesitated for a moment before reading aloud, "In school, I'm learning about forgiveness. What you did makes me have a lot of angry feelings. I don't want to be angry anymore. Why did you leave us? Did I do something? Make me understand what I did. Your daughter, Claudia."

Everyone stayed silent, they all knew about the Gallaghers, but Claudia was never one to talk about her family openly. Noah, moved by her vulnerability, reached forwards to squeeze her shoulder in comfort, letting her know he was there for her.

"Did she help you understand?" Mr Matthews asked her softly.

"No,"

"Why not?"

"I mean...I guess I never gave her the opportunity to explain herself," Claudia admits, "But it's too late now, my siblings scared her off."

Mr Matthews sighed before turning his attention back to his daughter, "Emily, why did Rory bite your rabbit's face off?"

"I don't know," She states.

"Why not?"

"I never asked him," Emily realized.

"Noah, Jayden?"

The two boys turn to their movie-spoiling friend, "Why do you spoil movies for us, Matt?" Noah asks.

"Because you're good at whatever you do, and you're good-looking," Matt explained, "Jay is the class clown. I guess I just want to show off what I can do. All I have is my mind, and I want to show that off."

"Damn...we gotta get better minds dude," Jayden said to Noah.

"Yeah we do," Noah replied, turning back to the front to face Mr Matthews.

"You all do," Mr Matthews interjected, determined to make his point. "Better minds understand that to be able to forgive someone, you need to understand them first. The other person needs to feel heard."

"Why can't you just admit that you are wrong about this one Mr Matthews!" Claudia called out, growing more and more frustrated with his persistence.

"Because forgiveness is one of our finest qualities as human beings, Claudia," Mr Matthews asserted, pointing at her emphatically. Then, he turned to address the entire class again, his tone unwavering. "You have to understand each other before you can even begin to understand what happens next. Go out and understand each other, and see what happens. Your assignment hasn't even begun until you do."

══════

Yet another day had passed and Emily, Noah and Claudia were sat together in the Alibi. Like days prior, the Gallaghers once again were all there, along with Kev and V, however, Topanga Matthews and Cory Matthews joined them today.

Emily sat with Rory pulled close to her chest, sat on her lap. The young boy looked bored out of his mind, clearly not interested in teenage conversations, but Emily didn't seem keen to get rid of him anytime soon, which was rather amusing to Claudia and Noah.

"Forgiveness does work, guys," Emily states matter-of-factly, "You just have to do it right,"

Rory squirmed in Emily's lap, eager to join his friends. "Can I go and play with my friends now?" he complained.

"No! All you have to do is listen to the other person," Emily continued, making the other two teenagers chuckle at the sibling's antics.

"Can I at least go to the bathroom, Emily?!"

"Quiet I'm talking!" Emily said in a condescendingly sweet tone, tapping the 6-year-old on his nose.

Claudia scoffed a little before speaking, "Emily, Rory is there every day, my mother couldn't leave fast enough. I mean she's probably halfway home now. Forgiveness just doesn't work for all of us,"

Claudia didn't notice as she was saying it, but Mr Matthews was sitting at the bar behind her, listening and watching her intently. But before he had the chance to say anything to her...

Monica walked into the bar. Red envelope in hand.

Everyone in the bar turned to face the women, who simply held her hands up in surrender, "I'm not here to cause problems, so please don't yell at me,"

Claudia stood up, astonished. "I thought you left," she said, her voice filled with genuine surprise.

"I did," Monica admitted, "I did sweetie, I was in the car and on the way back, but then this caught my eye again and you told me that you didn't want to be angry any more. Listen I know how important Claudia is to every single one of you and I thank you for that, but I just need to borrow her for like 2 minutes, if it's okay" she asks desperately.

Claudia looks over at her older sister, not saying anything, but clearly asking her for permission to go. Although Fiona wished she could whisk her sister away, and pretend that all the bad things in the world, she knew she couldn't keep her from these things anymore.

So she nodded.

Claudia turned around and began walking toward the door to let herself and Monica talk privately. But before Claudia could put her hand on the door, Monica stopped her and opened it for her, a small gesture of care and consideration.

The two of them stepped outside and just stood looking at one another, not knowing what to say to each other.

"This wasn't your fault Clauds," Monica reassured, "I swear this was all me, baby. I couldn't provide you with the comfort you needed during a shooting. And I was no good to you on sunny days either. I blew the money that Fiona earned instead of providing food to everyone, and, when you start to recognise that you're not good for people, you start not showing up, and then you don't show up enough times and that turns into leaving."

"You've stuck around your new family for a while, longer than any of the periods you spent with us. Did you and Roberta get the kid you wanted?" Claudia says, holding back a few tears.

Monica hesitated for a moment before replying, "We're in the adoption process."

"You're there for your new family then? What are they doing that I didn't do?" Claudia asked, her voice tinged with a mix of longing and frustration.

"You never did anything, Claudia. You were just a little girl. I was who I was. And there was nothing you did or could have possibly done," Monica declared, her voice filled with remorse, "I just- I wasn't ready for you, or anyone. But honey I've changed. These people believe that I can be someone and that I'm capable. They know what I was like, but choose to believe in who I am now."

Claudia's voice wavered, "Who are you?"

"I found a job!" Monica beamed with pride, "And I've managed to keep it. I want to tell you that I'm grateful for what you wrote. And I am so sorry for everything I did. I'm so happy you're okay,"

Claudia scoffs slightly, trying not to let the tears flow, "You found a job?"

"I did baby," Smiling at her daughter in hope, but it quickly dropped at her next statement.

"Your job was to stay Monica," Claudia stated firmly, "Listen, thank you for telling me your side, my teacher thinks I should forgive you and that it will bring me peace. Usually he's right about these things, but I can't see how he's right this time. And I can't forgive you. Do you really think I didn't have it in me to let you grow? My own mother? All of us would have loved to see you grow. I'm happy I wrote to you and heard what you had to say. And I hope you can feel some happiness in the knowledge that it makes me feel better knowing that everything you did has nothing to do with me. I always believed it was my fault. But it's not. I didn't do anything,"

Monica and Claudia stared at each other, their hearts breaking with the weight of their shared pain. Claudia's tears flowed freely, while Monica's frustration began to show. She had hoped that at least one of her children would forgive her, and now she realized how wrong she was.

Claudia sniffled and put her hands in her pockets, torn between her emotions and her desire to protect herself. She glanced between her mother and the door to the Alibi. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. You turned out great," Monica managed to say through her tears.

"Wow," Claudia whispered.

"What?"

"I've been angry for so long. But I'm not angry anymore," Claudia realized, her voice filled with a mix of relief and pain. "Thank you for coming. I hope you get home safe."

With those final words, Claudia turned away, walking back into the Alibi, leaving Monica standing alone outside.

Claudia entered the Alibi, openly crying now, and began walking up to her teacher. Lip joined her side and hugged her close, the rest of the Gallaghers looked on, their expressions filled with sadness and empathy for their sister and best friend.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, "but I failed. I know you wanted me to forgive her but I can't bring myself to. I couldn't. You were wrong this time Mr Matthews."

"Claudia, I never expected you to forgive your mother," Cory admitted sincerely, "That kind of forgiveness, doesn't come easily. But life is a very long time, and maybe one day you'll get there, but I never expected that from you now,"

Claudia's voice quivered as she asked, desperate for answers, "Then what did you want from me?"

Cory looked at Claudia with a tender gaze, understanding the depth of her pain. "Claudia... did you forgive yourself?"

The point of the forgiveness project suddenly smacked Claudia in the face. This was never about forgiving Monica, it was about realising that it was never her fault.

That sentence broke her as she started to openly sob, moving towards the man that she considered her father figure and hugging him. Mr Matthews held her tightly and let her sob into him, the rest of the Gallaghers also silently crying.

It had finally happened.

Claudia Gallagher had forgiven herself.

══════ (fin)

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confinedinthisflesh · 3 years

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11x05 rewatch reactions by remmie

👀 spoilers ahead 👀

- welcome back, i cannot wait for my friend's disapproving stares at my unwavering excitement and frustrations

- BATHTUB IS COMEDY!

- this is weird and off topic but why didn't they just recreate the entire intro, like it's weird to have kid ian but then adult ian, idk

- hi frank, didn't miss you at all!

- frank did you really think terry would apologize, with donuts- "beware those who are proud of it" 😌 hm smartest thing i've heard him say in a minute

- TAMI AND LIP I MISSED YOU! 🥰

- FREDDIE YOU TOO! 🥰🥰

- hey milton why are you selling the house? shady move

- awww franny meeting an idol of hers 🥺

- sandy i love you but stop being shady!

- DJSJDKDKSK let your husband get coffee

- yes sandy they are married, and 85 years old, and retired

- debbie while i do not agree with sandy being shady, why did you have to put a tracker on her, that's so wrong

- CAN Y'ALL JUST TAKE LIAM WITH YOU FOR ONCE- HE FEELS UNSAFE!

- god remember when termite was a thing?

- v in a suit makes me cry in wlw

- polish?!? poland?!?

- MILTON WHAT THE FUCK?! i get it for money needs partially but what the fuck?

- tami's slippers are amazing

- bro if lip proposes to tami at all this season, i'm kinda expecting it

- the lanky teen in the back just constantly puffing a cigarette 😔 breathe dude breathe

- that is unhygienic, so unhygienic

- ... shameless writers, what the fuck?!

- god i hate the masks, wear them or don't 😤 it's frustrating me

- ohmygod is it the old milkovich house? IS IT SHEILA'S OLD HOUSE? i'm so confused?

- what kinda swing thing is that??

- oh god, it's happening, hey mickey don't snap in front of your husband's face

- WHO THE FUCK IS LOU? RJUEEJSAHHSJDSJDJD ANOTHER FUCKING COUSIN?!?

- someone gif mickey in this scene please, it's just amazing, i want this scene played-

- ya know what play the fight scene at my funeral, it's amazing, bathtub scenes have competition now

- hey who's house is this? oh god what happened in this house?

- there's so much 'we need to move' consistency, are they all gonna move

- god i cannot look at kermit and tommy anymore without thinking of termite

- liam don't investigate, no, no, no liam NO DON'T GO IN THERE

- WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

- ... is the house haunted by a family murderer, is this an amityville thing?!

- oh god someone please get liam, he needs someone

- debbie can you not take it out on your child

- they really ONLY stopped him as he was about to sip, i cannot!

- love that there's a stool limit, but nobody leaves 😌

- "hello gay relatives" i want it on a t-shirt

- because i am a gay relative

- AMBULANCE TIME! AMBULANCE TIME!

- okay frank depending on what you do here, this is could be a good plan

- oh god tommy and kermit are characters again?!

- oh wow it is an amityville situation! nice, shameless writers! so original! 😉

- oh nice the ian gallagher sweet boy next door when i'm scamming voice!

- ... am i stupid or is the timeline still in obama presidency times? because if it is? what the hell? or am i stupid, okay maybe i am stupid

- broken pot shards calling the rusted kettle black, terry!

- happy ian and mickey noises!

- WHY! WE WERE ON SUCH A GOOD STREAK! AND THEN Y'ALL RUINED IT! WITH YOUR HORN STUFF! 😤

- oh fun! dead body always kills the mood!

- carl DO NOT I SWEAR TO GOD DO NOT! oh no

- the lady in the house: *insert nicki minaj 'you can't get rid of me bitch' meme*

- lip and tami trying to rationalize this together 😭, bro better not collect music boxes, or you're screwed

- not even the security guard is wearing his mask properly 😒😒

- this is going to go terribly, carl i get it you want him to be safe but he is like 11 and terrified, also specify which milkoviches

- y'all just planted a body, that poor guy

- BRAD I FUCKING MISSED YOU, even though this is bad news

- what the fuck? oh no lip you don't do well with talking

- okay the guy 🤏 kinda deserved it

- you track your five year old kid?

- sandy 😭 i love you i knew you had a good reason, sandy no need to be embarrassed

- oh godSNAJJDSJ HUSBAND?!?!

- EXCUSE ME?!?!

- I'M SORRY?!? HUSBAND?!? DID THEY?!

- JUST REPEAT SVET?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

- i'm sorry i am still fucking confused

- THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING LIP AND HIS BREAK AT THE END OF LAST SEASON

- okay but wait no why are we breaking the sobriety thing??

- liam i feel so fucking bad for you, you deserve so much better

- NO WAY! NO FUCKING WAY! NO!

- HE'S NOT DEAD?!? HOW IS HE NOT DEAD? HE SHOULD BE DEAD?

😦 i just, what was this episode, ohmygod, ohmygod, guys WHAT THE HELL

#shameless #shameless s11 #spoilers #rewatch reactions by remmie #i'm trying a new format and tag system #don't mind me #notice how i don't mention carl anymore

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shamelessgallagherimagines · 6 years

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The Stupid Little Things - Part 7/? Carl Gallagher x Reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / The rest of the parts

Y/N’s P.O.V

Carl was waiting for me by the school gates the next day, arms lounging lazily on the fence, backpack slouched on the back of his shoulders, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes as I walked past, him trailing behind me and eventually jumping in front of me so I slowed down, the smirk only growing wider and wider.

“Rise and shine asswipe,” he whispered to me and I scoffed.

“What the hell are you doing Carl?” I said disinterested and trying to push my way back through the school gates.

“I’m walking you to class Y/N. Try to sound fucking excited,”

He tried to reach for my hand, like her used to and I scowled at him.

Carl just laughed.

“Something wrong asswipe?”

“We aren’t friends remember”

He laughed again.

“I distinctly remember you said we were last night,”

I was going to be late for class and Carl was not going to let me go until I faced him. I’d actually thought a lot about the night before and whether I actually was ready to forgive him or whether I’d acted in the heat of the moment.

“It’s not exactly like one bear hug can magic away the fact that you pus-”

Before I could finish my sentence Carl had pushed his finger to my lips.

I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion.

“I also distinctly remembered the fact that we agreed not to mention that night again,”

I grabbed his hand and retracted it from my mouth, only to see an ever wider smirk

Jesus how big does that smile fucking get?

“But..” Carl began “If you don’t want to forget it, I also distinctly remember you telling me that you loved me, so you know, we can always hold onto that memory for ever,”

He was a dickhead.

A straight up dickhead.

When my mouth dropped open his eyes lit up with a triumphant glare and it took every ounce of self discipline not to kick him in the balls.

“Fine! Fine!” I said “We’re friends. But that doesnt mean things can just go back to how they were,”

“Course it fucking can,” he said, and I gave him the look.

The look I’ve branded as the ‘Don’t you fucking test me’ look.

“Besides,” he laughed “If things were the same I wouldn’t have met you here. I’d be outside your fucking window,”

I scoffed.

“You don’t know where I live Gallager and my new house doesn’t even have a ladder,” I said and he looked at me as if i’d just told him I’d sold Liam on ebay. “Oh boohoo Carl”

“You better fucking buy one Y/N! How else as I’m supposed to sneak in undetected”

We were approaching the English wing and receiving a plethora of confused stares as we walked, talking rather than screaming at each other for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. It had been a pretty well known fact that we despised each other. Self consciously, I let go of his hand.

This is the boy you’ve ignored for two years, things can’t go back to normal overnight.

‘There will be no sneaking in!” I said “Undetected or otherwise,”

“You say that now,” Carl said, swinging himself into the classroom “But just you wait until you see what a year in juvie can do to a guys chest,”

He wiggled his eyebrows and I punched him in the arm before sitting down in my seat beside him.

“Please,” I said rolling my eyes “I’ve seen seven year old girls with more muscle than you,”

He opened his mouth to say something but the teacher started the lesson so I looked back at him with a smug grin.

Naturally, he flipped me off.

I was sat at my lunch table alone, enjoying my own company, my head still firmly planted in a book when Carl walked over, throwing his lunch tray on the table and looking at me goofily.

“I’m seriously considering filing a federal complaint for stalking Gallagher,” I said flatly.

“Please,” he snorted “You love my company,”

“Define love,” I said, snapping my book shut and placing my hands over the top of it.

“Okay, tolerate my company,”

I cocked my head to the side and smiled

“But you better get used to me. We’ve got tutoring everyday according to Portman,” he said, grinning a little wider than he should have.

“Everyday!” I practically shouted “Are they mental?”

Carl look a little hurt but brushed it off quickly, his arrogant persona soon returning.

“Ouch,” he said in a montone voice “What a fucking brilliant way to make me feel wanted.”

I cringed a little at my own words.

“Sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean is Fiona and everybody’s going to be sick and tired of me being around there all the time. It’ll be like having another kid,” I said, trying to explain myself.

“Fuck off,” Carl said “You know they’re so fucking up your arse they’re practically a colonic,”

“Nice visual image” I said, suddenly not wanting to eat my apple anymore.

“What I’m fucking trying to say is that they love you, you’re practically family and seen as you haven’t been anywhere near our house in the last 24 months I doubt they’d even have an issue if you moved in,”

“Still,” I protested “I just feel like I’m intruding you know, like I’m p-”

“Fiona said and I quote ‘One of my babies has finally come home’, Debbie thinks your god’s fucking gift to mankind and Lip hasn’t stopped gushing about since you left. Seriously he’s all: Y/N this, Y/N that, when’s Y/N coming over next, Y/N got fucking hot,”

“Y/N got fucking hot?” I repeated quickly and Carl smirked.

“I might have added that one,” he said.

“I’ll break your fucking nose Gallagher,” I whispered, only half-joking “So watch your mouth,”

“So, you’ll come over? Tonight?” he said.

“When did I agree to this?”

“Come on Y/N, stop being a little bitch,” he said playfully “Do you want me to fail out of high school,”

“Uh uh” I said “You ain’t fucking guilt tripping me into this shit,”

Carl just looked at me and I looked back, our eyes met in a gaze of seriosuness and stubborness. But of course we couldnt keep it up for long as both of us burst out laughing, an air of childishness between us.

“I’ll come tutor you Carl,” I said “But I swear to god if Frank tries to put me in the oven again, I’m out of there. And not looking back,”

Carl chuckled.

“You got yourself a fucking deal Y/L/N”

#carl gallagher #carl gallagher imagine #carl shameless #shameless #shamelessimagines #shameless imagine #lip shameless #debbie gallagher #lip gallagher #carl gallagher x reader #ian gallagher #fiona gallagher #ethan cutkosky

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Shameless Series Finale Review: Father Frank, Full of Grace

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This Shameless review contains spoilers.

Shameless Season 11 Episode 12

“We’re still here. We’re surviving, right?”

Most people would likely not argue that Shameless’s best years are behind it. Showtime, its cable network, even briefly had a reputation for bleeding series dry long after they should have ended. However, even the most egregious examples of this like Weeds, Californication, and Dexter still pale in comparison to Shameless‘s episode count and none of them ever lost their series’ lead. It’s fair to say that Shameless is not as good as when it started or even how it was a few seasons back, but it’s always remained true to itself. It hasn’t resorted to radical time jumps or a revolving door of new premises and locations as a way to inject steroids into a withering corpse.

Shameless set out to depict the flawed lives of a lower-class family and it’s done that for 11 seasons and allowed a full generation of characters to grow up before the audience’s eyes. Shameless might not have always been a top tier television program, but it’s emblematic of Showtime’s early ideology and the growth that they’ve experienced over the past decade. Shameless is their longest running program and with it gone there’s a substantial piece of Showtime’s past that leaves with it. The final lingering brick from the old guard is finally dislodged.

In a way, “Father Frank, Full of Grace” becomes an even more poetic finale because the Gallaghers’ loss of Frank also functions as a metaphor for Showtime’s loss of Shameless. “Father Frank, Full of Grace” is a celebratory finale that’s emotional, beautiful, crude, and chaotic more than it’s a metatextual conversation about Showtime’s legacy. However, it all contributes to an overwhelming sense of closure and fresh beginnings, which is exactly what Shameless’ series finale needed to deliver.

Frank’s nagging mortality is a major catalyst for this series finale, but it’s also remarkable to see how most of the Gallaghers have already moved on. Frank may not technically be dead at the start of the episode, but he’s metaphorically been a ghost for decades. Any love is lost at this point and Frank’s belabored transition to the other side is treated like a temporary nuisance, as if it’s a toilet that needs to be unclogged.

Frank lets out a surprised, “Well, fuck,” upon the realization that he’s not dead and that was also pretty much my reaction to this news. Frank’s death feels like a foregone conclusion and the cyclical nature of his story in this finale steps on the toes of the past few episodes. It’s an emotional moment when Frank does pass on, but it also turns this finale into a prolonged waiting game whereas last week’s conclusion came as a legitimate shock.

Frank’s detached actions as his ailing body moves on autopilot are a frustrating component from this finale. The material feels sloppy and like it’s just another opportunity to get more of a morose, haunting performance from out of Macy. I’m still not convinced that it’s the best decision for this last episode, but Frank’s out of body experience and his flashbacks contain some of the finale’s most touching moments.

Frank’s thoughts on his family and these glimpses of the cast back in season one aren’t overused and their impact is felt. Even the brief return to a shut down Patsy’s Pies connects as Frank takes in the South Side with fresh eyes for one last time. It’s a messy storyline, but thematically it’s sound. It’s no coincidence that Frank is there, but he isn’t, through most of this episode. It’s the perfect distillation of his involvement as a father for his kids. Frank’s spirit is ever present, but he spends this final episode in a cathartic form of isolation.

Frank spends this installment lost in the past while everyone else braces for the future. There’s still residual Gallagher drama, but “Father Frank, Full of Grace” largely waves a magic wand to either fix all of these problems or at least provide a solid roadplan for what lies ahead. This finale makes a very conscious decision to be about celebration and unity rather than stress and conflict. All of the Gallaghers’ dilemmas aren’t solved, but they never will be, and the acceptance of this allows this finale to confidently conclude and not get lost in the weeds. A lot of ground gets covered, some of which doesn’t necessarily feel like the best use of time in a series finale, but”Father Frank, Full of Grace” never feels rushed and it allows each Gallagher–even an unconscious Frank–several opportunities to shine.

Lip enters this finale with the most stress and arguably exits with the most support and prospects for the future. It’s genuinely nice to see Tami and Lip reach a place where they’re able to healthily communicate, listen to each other, and work as a team. Tami is almost a little too understanding considering how much recent instability has entered their lives. It’s a little convenient that several of Lip’s delivery runs are also situations where technologically impaired people benefit from Lip’s knowledge in the area. It’s left unresolved if this is enough to kickstart Lip into some tech-based job where he heads down a different direction in his life, but it offers a sliver of hope in the area.

This finale offers teases, not answers, for what’s to come for Lip and this open-ended attitude carries over to the rest of the Gallaghers. Debbie’s accelerating relationship with Heidi sticks out the most here and it feels strange to spend so much time on a completely new character in the series finale. The red flags from Debbie’s relationship get balanced out with how enjoyable everything is with Mickey and Ian. They engage in several real, vulnerable conversations here that reflect how functional they’ve become. The baby talk is really pleasant, but the surprise wedding anniversary is even better and not made super obvious.

This season of Shameless, more than any other, has pulled from reality for a lot of its material regarding Chicago’s social climate. This is typically strong material for the series’ satirical perspective and it’s naturally integrated into the story. However, the injection of current politics and conspiracy theories that Mickey and Ian are briefly exposed to feels less subtle and like the show just wants to fit in some “Sleepy Joe” commentary before it’s over. Similarly, it seems kind of unnecessarily loaded that after a lifetime of recklessness it’s ultimately COVID-19 complications that takes out Frank and not his rampant alcoholism or drug use. These moments are brushed past quickly and don’t derail the narrative, but they feel awkward in the moment.

“Father Frank, Full of Grace” is a rather safe finale that doesn’t have any major surprises. Those that were expecting a Fiona cameo may be irritated over the finale’s direction, but it should have been pretty obvious that Shameless wasn’t interested in this type of finish. Fiona wouldn’t have radically changed this finale, but I’m genuinely curious if John Wells reached out and did attempt a brief return or if they’ve both fully moved on by now.

I’m also a huge Spoon fan, but even I thought it was jarring that the Gallaghers and the Alibi patrons just happen to know all of the words to “The Way We Get By.” I understand that it’s meant to offer some connection with the pilot episode’s ending, but diegetically the Gallaghers have never had a connection to the song. It seems like there would be plenty of more appropriate songs, with Chicago origins, that would actually have significance to these people. It’s still a very sweet moment for Shameless to end on, even if the logistics are slightly flawed.

All of this is to say that “Father Frank, Full of Grace” is a convoluted episode, but its final ten minutes where the Gallaghers are deep in the throes of celebration is exactly how this series needed to go out. All of these characters bask in each other’s company, demonstrate their appreciation for each other, and reflect on how much they’ve matured. Lip and Ian’s brief heart-to-hearts have been a highlight from this season and their final chat here where the gratitude for Lip’s role as a surrogate father figure for the family is conveyed becomes even more powerful considering the nature of the episode.

This series finale features Frank’s death and significant life changes for characters, but “Father Frank, Full of Grace” still has a very lowkey energy that makes it feel like many of its other finales. This is the end, but it’s not difficult to picture another season of the show that picks up these loose threads and everything reverts back to “normal” after a few episodes. Sometimes finales that check every box and go out of their way for endless closure can feel manufactured and contrived. It’s appreciated that Shameless doesn’t take this route.

Hopefully these new decisions will stick, but the problem with Shameless is that it’s conditioned its audience to frequent changes and a return to the status quo. “Father Frank, Full of Grace” works hard to buck that trend, and it’s largely successful, but it’s also easy to picture these characters consumed with stress and doubt on the day after the events of this finale. This final season builds new futures for all of the Gallaghers and they all still have a lot to learn, but “Father Frank, Full of Grace” leaves most of the characters in empowered positions where lasting change feels achievable and not just a pipe dream.

Shameless’s final season has functioned as a showcase for Frank and it’s always been “his” show, even though he hasn’t always been the series’ focal point. “Father Frank, Full of Grace” underscores this and becomes a lowkey tribute to Frank with how it paints a bright and happy future for his family. The opening minutes of Shameless begin with Frank Gallagher’s voice over as he dotes over his family, all of which have become wonderful despite Frank. Shameless’ series finale concludes in the same manner of reflection and the Gallaghers are even united around another communal fire this time around.

The major lesson that Frank pushes in his parting words are to appreciate the time that you have, even if it’s stupid, and to not waste your life. Shameless’ final season didn’t always use its time in the most effective manner, but they clearly had fun every step of the way. Shameless’ final season is a shell of the poignant and challenging family drama that emerged in season one, but they’ve always appreciated their time and the stories that they’ve gotten to tell. Shameless, much like the Gallaghers themselves, was messy, but never lacking in love. That sentiment has never been more true than with “Father Frank, Full of Grace,” which goes out on its own imperfect terms.

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See you later, Shameless. Love you too, asshole.

The post Shameless Series Finale Review: Father Frank, Full of Grace appeared first on Den of Geek.

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wellimhavinga3outof10day · 7 years

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Lost Lullabies - Chapter Sixteen

Description: Mickey Milkovich, former child star turned action movie star, runs into his old co-star, Ian Gallagher, out on the street in the middle of a winter night. When Mickey takes him in, he doesn’t realize that Ian has the power to completely turn his new life upside down.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

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Ian walked in through the backdoor of the Gallagher house and was immediately assaulted by half a dozen people yelling his name. He did his best not to drop the gifts he’d brought as Debbie wrapped her arms around his middle. Kissing her on the head, Ian greeted her and handed off the presents to Fiona who was always ready to step in so a disaster could be avoided. Debbie pulled away so Carl could take her place, his hug a little more formal, his disastrous impulses now mostly sated by his military training. Liam grabbed onto Ian’s leg as well and, for a moment, Ian found it impossible to move.

After his younger siblings had finished with him, Ian shrugged off his coat and took a seat at the kitchen counter. Fiona scrambled around from the fridge to the cupboards as she tried to cook several dishes at once.

“Need any help?” Ian said.

“You’ll just slow me down,” she said, not even a hint that she was joking in her tone. As she bent down to check on the turkey in the oven, she added, “Where’s Mickey? I thought you said he was coming.”

“He wanted to take a later train,” Ian said. “Something about Milkovich Christmas Eve tradition being getting wasted as fuck.” He shrugged and dipped a finger into the mashed potatoes before licking it off.

“That’s disgusting.” Fiona winced as the sound of a crash came from the other room but ignored it. The one good thing about all the kids being old now – with the exception of Liam – was that she could trust them to sort out their own shit every once in a while. “How is it working with Mickey again? You know, especially after all that stuff that you told me a while ago.”

Ian laughed, shrugged. “It’s pretty good, actually. He’s... he’s happier than he used to be.”

Fiona raised an eyebrow. “Anything happen between you two?”

“You really want to know?”

She shrugged. “Spare me the details, I am still your sister, but if I’m seeing your boyfriend instead of your incredibly homophobic crush, I gotta act different.”

“Let’s say you’re meeting my incredibly homophobic and closeted boyfriend.”

“That sounds like a recipe for disaster.”

Ian didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t. He watched Fiona cook for a little longer before slipping off his stool and heading into the living room where the rest of his siblings waited. Liam was sitting in front of the Christmas tree, shaking presents one by one. Carl sat slouched on the couch flipping from Christmas cartoon to Christmas cartoon to Die Hard to Christmas cartoon. And Debbie stood at the back of the room with Frannie in her arms, cooing at the girl.

Ian walked over and kissed his niece on the cheek – it’d been four years and he still found it weird that he had a niece. As he spoke to her in sweet, soothing tones, the front door opened. He looked up to find Lip walking in, unravelling a scarf from around his neck.

Ian stiffened and watched his brother, waiting for him to look up. To say their relationship was strained would be a bit of an understatement. Ian had thrown his life down the drain and dragged Lip with him. Even though Lip had pulled himself out – he had taken courses to boost his high school grades, gotten a couple scholarships and went off to college – he still blamed Ian for his life being further behind than it should have been. And he had every right to.

But when Lip looked up and saw Ian, he only smiled and pulled his brother into a hug. “Hey, man,” he said with a laugh. He clapped Ian hard on the back. “You’re looking good. Like really good. How long have you been clean now?”

Ian shrugged. “A little over two months.”

“Wow. I’m proud of you. Real proud.” Lip stepped back and took off his jacket. “Can’t believe you went back to acting though. I vividly remember your exact words being ‘not even if those Disney fags suck my cock.’” He raised a brow. “So, who did the sucking? Was it Manning? Because I’d really like to see that prick get on his knees.”

“No luck there.” Ian laughed. He lingered awkwardly in the middle of the living room as Lip went to sit down beside Carl. He felt out of place in the house even though he’d lived there his entire life. Maybe he finally got why Mickey never came back to the Southside. After movie sets and constant drug tests and safety, it felt like a trigger bomb just waiting to explode.

Ian forced himself to settle and took up a spot on the arm of the couch. He made it through half the Rudolph movie before the doorbell rang. Jumping up, he went for the door and opened it to see Mickey and Mandy on the other side. He couldn’t help himself. His heart leaped in his chest. Grabbing Mickey by the back of his neck, he pulled him into a heated kiss and backed right into the living room without letting go of him.

When he pulled off long minutes later, he smiled and whispered, “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Mickey replied, his voice low and sultry in a way that made Ian’s blood rush downwards. Mickey cocked an eyebrow. “I didn’t know my present to you was coming out to your entire family.”

“Sorry.” Ian bit his lip. “I’m just happy to see you. You mad?”

“Not at all.” Mickey pressed forward and kissed him again.

They broke apart to Mandy’s laughter. Ian let go of Mickey to hug her, kiss her on the cheek. “It’s good to see you again,” he said. “When you moved to New York, I thought we’d lost you for good.”

“You would’ve too if I could have only gotten a ring on my finger.” Mandy shook her head and sighed. “But now I see my brother’s already stolen you from me?”

Ian laughed and got the Milkoviches settled in to the living room. He ended up sitting practically in Mickey’s lap – not that that was an accident at all – and whispered most of what he said into Mickey’s ear. The entire time Mickey kept shooting him glances that mixed affection with worry, an expression that turned Ian’s stomach, but he was too high on life to let it bother him. Mickey could be worried. Hell, Mickey could think he was on drugs for all he cared. If he got to sit on Mickey’s lap, nibble on his ear, and play his fingers across his chest, he didn’t care if Mickey thought he was involved in a terrorist plot.

Fiona came out of the kitchen thirty minutes after they arrived. She hugged Mandy and gave Mickey a slight wave, a smirk brimming on her lips. She got the party started with quick efficiency, getting Liam to hand out the presents, and ending all childish arguments about who got to go first. She even pulled out a camera to make memories. Ian gave Mickey a huge kiss on the cheek when she turned the camera their way and the end result was a Polaroid picture of Mickey laughing like a maniac.

With all the presents open and the crowd going back to their own business, Ian leaned his lips close to Mickey’s ear and said, “I got you something really special back at my hotel.”

“Mmm,” Mickey murmured. His eyes were half-closed like he was sleepy drunk without having had a single beer. “Is that what’s stuffed in your closet?”

“Maybe.”

“Ian...” Mickey sighed and Ian tensed. Mickey let his hand rub smoothly up Ian’s leg, a comforting gesture as he looked up with serious blue eyes. “I need to talk to you about something. And I don’t think you’re gonna like it.”

Ian nodded, slow. “I get it. You wanna stay in the closet for your image. It’s not a big deal. I can—”

“Ian, this isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

“I’m not on drugs.”

Mickey shifted out from under Ian and got to his feet. He grabbed Ian’s hand and pulled him out the front door, stopping on the porch. He turned to look Ian in the eyes. “We need to go to the clinic.”

“What?” Ian said. “Because I didn’t use a condom? Look, sure, I haven’t been tested in a while, but I’m usually safe and I haven’t shot up since the last time I was tested, so I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.

Mickey let out an annoyed exhale. “No, Ian. Not that.”

“Then what?”

“I think you’re manic.”

Ian blinked. “What?”

“You’ve been off the rails lately, Ian. And if you say you’re clean, then I believe you, but you’re still not sleeping and who knows how much shit you’ve bought to stuff that closet and you’re still talking way too fast and... I Googled it. They may all be drug symptoms, yeah, but they’re also bipolar symptoms. And your mom—”

“I know what my mom had,” Ian snapped. “Fuck, Mickey.”

Mickey grabbed his elbow, stopped him from turning away. “I know you don’t want to hear this,” he said, his voice just a little unsteady. “Fuck, I don’t wanna be right about this, Ian. But you know the kind of shit your mom used to do. And I’ve been looking it up and the drug abuse... a lot of bipolar people use drugs and alcohol to cope. I don’t want you backsliding because there’s something else going on other than addiction.”

Ian met Mickey’s eyes and softened a little. There was nothing but concern in the other man’s eyes. “Fine,” Ian said. “We can go to a clinic.”

He stepped to go back inside but Mickey stopped him, again. Mickey said, “I think we should go to the clinic now, Ian. Hopefully get this all sorted out before we start filming again.”

“And when the studio gets word of this? They were wary of hiring me in the first place, Mick. And I can’t hide this from them when they’re testing my piss every week. Sure, they’ll be fucking confused as to why I’m using Lithium to get high, but if you think—”

“Ian. You are the best actor on that set.” Mickey’s eyes were bright like fire. “Anyways, they can’t fire you for having a fucking mental disorder. It’s unethical and you could sue their asses for it.”

Ian nodded.

“So, the clinic?”

“Fine. Whatever.”

Mickey let go of him and waited. With a sigh, Ian headed down the front steps and started down the road. He knew where the community clinic was. Between having every one of Debbie’s pregnancy check-ups there and Ian having ended up there high off his ass more than once, the route was seared into his mind. It sent chills through him to be back there. He hadn’t been back in a while.

He walked through the glass door, leaving Mickey to catch the door on his own. The nurse at the front desk looked up with a smile. “Mr. Gallagher,” she said. Ian tried to remember her name, failed, and glanced down at her name tag. Nancy. “How nice to see you again. What can I help you with?”

“I, uh...” Ian dropped his eyes to the countertop.

Mickey nudged him in the ribs, gave him a curious look.

Ian shook his head.

“He thinks he might be bipolar, like his mom,” Mickey said, his voice low despite the fact that the place was empty. “We were hoping you guys had some tests you could run or something?”

Nancy nodded and stood up. “Of course. Mr. Gallagher, do you want this man to come in with you?”

Ian shot Mickey a glance and then shook his head, quick. He looked down at his feet while Nancy rummaged for the right paperwork. With a smile, she ushered Ian out of the waiting room and down a long white hallway that he knew too well. As they went, she chattered on about the weather and staff gossip and asked him innocuous questions about his life. Then she stopped beside a white door.

“You’ve dealt with Dr. Charles before,” she said. “You spent quite a bit of time talking to him about addiction when you were a teenager. Do you remember?”

Ian nodded.

“All right. He’ll be with you in a minute.”

Ian entered the small room with a tight weight in his stomach. He took a seat in one of the two armchairs, tapped his fingers against his knee, and looked around the room. The walls were white and bare. The only other furniture in the room was a small desk with a computer on it, the Windows logo bouncing around the screen. Ian started to regret not asking Mickey to come in with him but he didn’t know what Dr. Charles would ask and he didn’t know what he didn’t want Mickey to know.

Dr. Charles entered a few minutes later, a smile on his wrinkled face. He’d seemed to age two years for every year Ian had been away from him. “Ian,” he said as he took his seat, resting his clipboard on his knees. “What a pleasant surprise to see you again.”

“Don’t doctors kind of hope they won’t see their patients again?”

“We both know you stopped coming to sessions against my wishes,” he said but he didn’t seem upset. “Can you tell me what’s brought you back?”

“I, um, well,” Ian began. He took a deep breath and spoke to his feet. “I might be bipolar.”

“Bipolar?”

“My mom has it and I’ve been... I’ve been really fucking happy lately and I don’t see why that’s a problem but my... friend thinks it’s an issue and with my family history, it’s just... he wanted me to come.”

“Ian.” Dr. Charles waited until Ian looked up at him. “I want you to know that having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. No matter what we figure out here today, you have to keep that in mind.”

Ian nodded.

“Now, let me pull up a little questionnaire and we’ll see what we find, okay?”

Ian nodded again. He waited for Dr. Charles to wake up his computer and find the right sheet. Then he started with the questions. The first ones were easy – name, date of birth, height, sex, weight – but then they started to get a little harder. He had to describe his symptoms and really, he just started listing off the things Mickey had said he was doing. He hadn’t even realized most of it. Sure, he knew that sleeping three or four hours a night wasn’t normal and that he’d been wasting his money, but he thought it was all the hype of the movie set. Even when the director told him to speak slower, he always thought it was his nerves getting the better of him. He didn’t think he’d ever done anything like Monica, nothing worthy of having people compare him to her.

“Hypersexuality?” Dr. Charles said.

“What?”

“Hypersexuality,” he repeated. “Having a higher sex drive than normal.”

Ian stared at him for a long moment, nausea curling in his stomach. He’d been on Grindr way more than usual. He’d jacked off maybe seven times yesterday to the thought of Mickey. How many times had he told Mickey he’d just wanted to be friends only to crumble under the weight of his lips? Had that all been the illness? Had none of that been his feelings for Mickey? Was it just about sex? He thought he might start hyperventilating. He didn’t want his first time with Mickey to have been about an overblown libido, didn’t want to go on meds just to realize he’d never wanted Mickey at all.

“No,” Ian lied. “Nothing like that.”

Dr. Charles typed it in. A few questions later, he finished the questions and turned to Ian. “Well, Ian, it takes more than a cursory assessment to properly diagnose bipolar disorder. Furthermore, there are different types and which one you have won’t become clear without more therapy.”

“But?”

“From what you’ve said to me today mixed with your family history, I would say there is a strong chance you are bipolar.” He held up a hand to stop Ian from interrupting him. “I’m going to start you on a low dose of Lithium and I’ll need you to talk to Nancy at the front desk to set up weekly appointments. It’s all right, Ian. We’ll get through this together.”

Ian was too numb to even nod. He got up from his seat and let Dr. Charles lead him back to the waiting room. Mickey stood immediately but Ian was already moving. He barrelled out the door, breathing hard, and only stopped two blocks away to catch his breath. A few minutes later, Mickey caught up with him.

“What the fuck, man?” Mickey sounded out of breath. “You okay? What happened in there?”

“Forget it,” Ian said.

“You just burst out of there like a fucking race horse and you want me to forget it?” Mickey grabbed Ian’s shoulder and turned him to face him. “What’s up? What did the doctor say?”

Ian bit his lip hard. More than anything, he wanted to shake Mickey off, yell at him, and walk away. He didn’t want Mickey to know. He didn’t want Mickey to worry. And he definitely didn’t want Mickey Googling more shit just to find out that Ian’s sex drive had nothing to do with him at all.

“Ian,” Mickey said, soft. “I’m here. Whatever’s going on, I’m here.”

“He said maybe.”

“Maybe?”

Ian shrugged. “It’s hard to diagnose apparently, but he wants me to come to therapy and start Lithium and... fuck. Mickey, I can’t do it.”

“Sure you can. Maybe not here, but we’ll get you a therapist closer to work and—”

“No, Mick, I can’t fucking live like this. I can’t be bipolar. I just can’t.”

Mickey’s eyes widened a little. “What are you saying, Ian?”

Ian shook his head, tried to blink back the tears. “I’m just... My family already thinks I’m Frank. I can’t be Monica, too.”

“You’re Ian,” Mickey said. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Ian, holding him tight. “Fuck your family. And fuck what they think of you. You are not your parents, Ian. You are you and you’re a lot fucking better of a person than they are.”

“You sure about that?”

Mickey nodded and pulled away. “Now, come on. Let’s go back there and book those therapy sessions, okay?”

“Okay.” Ian reached out for Mickey’s hand and wrapped their fingers together. To his surprise, Mickey let him and didn’t pull away for the whole walk back to the clinic.

<<Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen>>

#gallavich #shameless #Ian Gallagher #mickey milkovich #ian x mickey #mine #3outof10 fanfic #lost lullabies #chapter sixteen

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Top 15 Most Shameless Moments

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If you missed Shameless last year, there is no reason to worry. A cast member or two will be ready at the top of Dec. 6’s premiere to curse you for being the spoiled suburban princess that you are.

But as enjoyable as every season of irrepressible Gallagher behavior can be, there’s little denying that each year features something so Shameless that it dwarfs the rest of the bad behavior that came before it. These are moments that are so crass in their unapologetic depravity that they transcend being more broken furniture on the South Side, and instead become a true work of Gallagher (or Milkovich) art. There are quite a few of these Gallagher-ups, but we’ve boiled it down to the 15 essentials ahead of the final season.

15. The Time When Karen Jackson Finally Became “Daddy’s Girl”….

Karen is a very difficult character to like. While undoubtedly sympathetic because of her upbringing at the hands of a Catholic hypocrite and a love-smothering agoraphobe, she is also a girl who messed with Lip’s head three-ways to Sunday and would rather feed her special needs kid to the system than let her mother raise him.

However, her earliest sign of wrathful vengeance is also one that is totally justified, and a subversively hilarious bit from Season 1. When her dad slut shames her in front of the local church community after she confesses to her (admittedly many) lustful sins, she gets back at him and then some. She dyes her hair, she gets facial piercings… and she seduces (or rapes) a very drunk, defenseless Frank Gallagher before sending daddy the viral video at work.

It is sick, underhanded, and somehow a completely cathartic moment of television. Frank’s inebriated actions with the 16-year-old daughter of his girlfriend on the other hand… At least, Karen finally reconciled with her dad when she defecated on his tombstone.

14. The Time When Hurricane Monica Swept up Baby Liam….

Looking back, there are a lot of instances where tiny baby Liam was used as a prop for mean-spirited Shameless writing. Yet one of the cruelest abuses came at the hand of his own mother. All of season 1 felt like Fiona, Lip, and Ian trying to keep their heads above water with their younger, more innocent siblings watching as helplessly as their drunken, deadbeat dad. It ultimately raised the question: where is their mother and why is she gone?

Shameless Showrunner Talks Life After Emmy Rossum… and William H. Macy?

By David Crow

Why Shameless’ Frank Gallagher Is The Nastiest Protagonist On TV…And Possibly The Best

By David Crow

Well, after two hours with Hurricane Monica, every viewer knew that it’d have been better if she had never returned. At first, Monica is always smiles and lollipops for the kids she abandoned, even more thoroughly than Frank who at least wanders past the old homestead for drug money every couple of weeks.

However, she makes her intentions clear when she attempts to take Liam as her only child to be raised with the new lesbian truck driving “love of her life.” It is a quiet admission that she screwed up royally raising her other kids, so she’d rather just start from scratch with Liam, a new life to destroy while ignoring the rest of the blood of her blood. It is a horrifically callous thing to do to one’s own kids, and probably a fate even more horrible for Liam, who despite his troubles in Season 4, never ended up in the crack den that Monica would.

13. Hurricane Monica Attempts Suicide for Thanksgiving

A sadder moment of shamelessness, this, Monica upsets what was an otherwise happy Thanksgiving at the end of season 2. While no turkey had been carved, there was plenty of bald eagle (courtesy of Carl), and good cheer going around between the whole clan, including a reunited Fionna and Simmy (Steve/Jimmy).

It does not last though when Monica, suffering another bout of depression due to her Bipolar disorder, goes into the kitchen and decides to carve her own arm. There is something definitely depressing about her not being able to handle moments of happiness. But it’s also dispiriting the whole family can’t even have a Thanksgiving without at least one Gallagher going to the hospital. Happy holidays, folks.

12. The Time When Frank Traded Liam In For a Gambling Debt…

This could just be a list of Frank’s 15 most shameless moments, because here is a man who never met a good decision that he didn’t puke at the sight of before running in the other direction with a cackle. In truth though, it wasn’t entirely Frank’s fault that Liam became leverage for his gambling debt after he challenged (with more than a hint of racism) a fellow Alibi bar patron that he couldn’t stay conscious through two taser blasts (spoiler alert: he did). So Frank took Liam without permission from his more responsible kids as a panhandling prop to gather the $10,000 due.

And when the drug dealing shark came to collect, and then kidnapped his son as collateral, Frank not only ignored them taking Liam but shrugged it off without telling Fiona, Lip, or anyone that could take responsibility. Nope, Frank just shrugged off his son’s kidnapping, proving once again that he is God’s perfect asshole.

11. The Time When Fiona Slept with Her Boyfriend/Boss’s Brother…Twice (or more)…

Emmy Rosusm‘s Fiona committed spectacular career and relationship suicide when she let lovably bland Mike’s older, drug-addicted brother tap into her own addiction for sex with complete morons. Robbie is the kind of guy who will do cocaine tomorrow and, well past 30, ask his parents to flip for his spa rehab treatment tomorrow. In short he’s the perfect target for Fi to blow things with Mr. Vanilla, who wanted to do stuff like take her out to dinner for her birthday or have a phone chat every night.

Mike isn’t for Fiona, but talk about throwing the race to get past the poverty line right at the photo finish. When Robbie calls Fi an addict for sex, excitement, and all other momentary vices, she begrudgingly believes him. Sadly, it sets up a far less characteristic screw-up involving cocaine and Liam that is less shameless and more tragic…

10. The Time When the Milkoviches Dug a Grave in the Mary Kay Letourneau Stand-In’s Front Yard…

That is one way to get rid of the competition! When Lip Gallagher discovered that a child predator lived in the neighborhood, he set up one of Shameless’ best gags by gathering an eclectic posse of otherwise isolated factions to kick this guy’s ass. Except it wasn’t a guy, it was a hot 20-something blonde teacher who likes them young. Real young. Lip still wanted her ass, but in a very different way. After erstwhile-girlfriend Mandy Milkovich figures out what’s going on, she gathers Mickey and her other brothers to handle things the Milkovich way—a style far beyond those Gallaghers pansies.

When Miss Thing opens her door one chilly evening, she meets a chipper Mandy, smiling as the big bros are four feet deep in a freshly dug hole in the garden. Mandy gives her a choice: she can pack all the things she can in the next 15 minutes and go, or wait for the Milkoviches to reach the magic number of six feet and go in the hole. As Mandy grins at one less predator in Chicago fleeing into the midnight darkness, anyone could tell that Mandy was more than a little disappointed she couldn’t fill the hole with more than a threat; luckily, her brothers had some other poor faceless schmo ready to go. Never waste a perfectly good grave, especially in soil that soft!

9. The Time Debbie Gallagher Got Pregnant to Keep a Guy

Debbie Gallagher had a rough childhood. Fiona did her best as the older sister trying to also play den mother, but she really couldn’t give Debbie the type of attention she needed, or the family life she craved. And crave it, she did. So much so that when she became a teenager and faced the prospect of a life outside the Gallagher house, she decided she might make one of her own, immediately, especially if it could “trap” a guy.

So in season 5, she makes the conscious choice to lie about “being on the pill” when she has sex with Derek at the age of 16. And upon getting pregnant, she thinks she will be able to keep the boy and have Fiona to help raise it while she finishes school. Instead Fi tries to force her into an abortion, which is its own thorny issue, but then so is Debs keeping the baby she thinks will earn her the family life she always craved. Instead Franny puts her on the path of dropping out of high school and having a responsibility she just as often tries to shirk as take seriously.

8. The Time When Debbie Saved the House…by Accusing Cousin Patrick of Molestation

Oh, they grow up so fast, don’t they? When the series started Debs was the loving younger Gallagher sister who only wanted Frank to spend more time in the house, and maybe to have a Great Aunt Ginger around to bake them cookies (more on her later). But like her older siblings, she has to grow up eventually. For this family that means realizing that:

a) Frank is useless piece of shit.

b) Monica’s probably worse as the emotional hand grenade with the pin always falling out.

c) The only way the Gallaghers will ever get ahead is if someone else is going down hard.

Luckily, she learned that last bit at the exact right moment when she almost sent Cousin Patrick away for probably 10 to 15. Patrick had proven to be as big a Gallagher as the rest of the family when he wrote his cousins’ house in his name on a forged will that supposedly belonged to Great Aunt Ginger. So when the body was finally exhumed and the last social security check had been cashed, he was ready to evict his own cousins to make a little extra on the side. But when Debbie discovered her voice in front of the evicting cops, it seemed like Cousin Patrick also wanted a little more on the side. The kind of side that would end with a shiv tip in prison.

When faced with those kind of charges, the Gallaghers kept their house with a diminished rent check of only a few hundred dollars a month, and Debbie earned her first ounce of seniority respect as a force to be reckoned with from Fiona and Lip. It was only the beginning.

7. The Time Frank Tries to Ruin Fiona’s Wedding/His Kids… Try to Kill Him?

Technically what Frank Gallagher did on the day of his daughter’s wedding saved her a lot of pain. He’d discovered her husband-to-be Sean (Dermott Mulroney) was an addict who’d relapsed and was still going to marry her. She was entering a marriage under false pretenses, and Frank would in his own way stop the heartache. Of course that isn’t why Frank did it. He was simply pissed and snotty about his daughter refusing to let him give her away.

So he spied on Sean looking for anything he could latch onto would ruin Fiona’s big day. And boy did he found it. He intervened not as a concerned father but as a vengeful bratty child who wanted to inflict the maximum amount of embarrassment and shame on his daughter. And that he did, humiliating her in front of all their friends and family.

Ergo his children tried something they’d never attempted before: Throwing papa from a bridge. Did they think the fall would kill him? They certainly had to be aware it was a possibility, particularly on a cold Chicago morning. Frankly, my dear, I don’t think they gave a damn. Pity he survived.

6. The Time When Sheila is coaxed into Killing Frank’s Mother…

Death is part of the circle of life. And if that life is as rotten as Gammy Gallagher’s was, then we might be ready to close that circle early. Unlike her kicking and screaming son in Season 4, Grammy not only welcomed a shuffle off this mortal coil, she longed for it. And she found the perfect instrument to end her cancerous suffering in the guise of Sheila Jackson, the sweetly endearing neighborhood fool.

Sure, Grammy and Sheila got off to a rough start with accusations of one being a crude, rude, monster mother, and the other being a homebody vampire, but the two found an understanding when Sheila became Grammy’s nurse in Frank’s absence.

Grammy even convinced Sheila that part of those nursing duties included kindly smothering her into the afterlife. That is one way to make an exit, and Sheila actually thinks she is doing God’s work! It is a moment that is equal parts tender, horrifying, and laughable. In short, it is pure Shameless.

5. The Time When the Gallaghers Kidnap “Aunt Ginger” From Veronica’s Nursing Home…

The good thing about Alzheimer’s patients is they can keep some damn big secrets: like being kidnapped or dressed as a long dead Ginger Gallagher. To rewind for a moment, Great Aunt Ginger was one of the hardest working Gallaghers the family has ever known. She practically turned her preferred street corner into her own place of kneeling. But by the time she died, she had reached the golden age of Social Security checks.

So without telling anyone, Frank Gallagher buried her in the backyard and collected her SS money for over a decade. Now whether he told everyone else that she moved to Michigan because he knew her passing would break their hearts or because he wanted to keep the money for his booze is a mystery left completely solved by common sense. Nevertheless, when the federal government finally caught on something fishy was happening, the beans are spilled and the Gallaghers have to scramble to find a new “Great Aunt Ginger” or face child services.

Enter New Great Aunt Ginger, compliments of Veronica’s nursing home for the severely forgetful. It is hard to tell what is sadder, that the day the Gallaghers spend taking “holiday” pictures for a lifetime with the new Ginger went by as a real day of family activity for the confused woman… or that this was the first time Debbie felt like she had a maternal figure to latch onto. It is a twisted warm and fuzzy resolution to this early, infamous Shameless supblot.

4. The Time When Mandy Facilitated Karen’s “Accident”….

For the Milkovich family, nothing says love like an attempted murder. So Mandy must have really loved Lip, because she did it twice. The first time was a (possibly) idle threat to the inappropriate teacher, but there was nothing idle about Mandy’s methodical destruction of Karen’s life.

To be clear, Karen is not a good person. In the scene leading up to her accident, Sheila takes responsibility for her daughter turning out as such a repugnant human being, and the pain of the sequence is that there is some truth in it. But whatever Karen or Sheila’s failings, it does not excuse what comes next.

Karen receives a text from Lip, promising to make amends for the mean things he last said to her if she meets him in the park. But instead of finding Lip’s proverbial mouth, she ends up kissing an SUV’s metallic grill when it plows into her going at least 40 mph. Sure, Karen lives, but she is now as mentally gone as her special needs child, Hymie.

Mentally handicapped for life, Karen’s story is done, ending in a way more broken than any Gallagher’s has so far experienced. What Mandy did is incredibly evil: stealing a phone and setting a trap that she had hours to contemplate. Karen was bad for Lip, but Mandy did something rare even for a show like Shameless: she crossed a line.

3. Frank Calls DCFS on His Kids

Another line was crossed in the third season, and it revealed the true awfulness of Frank’s parenting skills. To be fair, we’d known about “Father” Frank since he punched Ian in the face in the series premiere. Plus, there is that time he used Liam as collateral listed above. However, at least the latter moment was written with a tongue-in-cheek, as the show never doubted Fiona and Lip would get the lad back.

What was done without an ounce of humor is the time Frank threw a pity party for himself and then called DCFS on his own kids. Why? Because they kicked him out of the house after he acted the belligerent drunk for the millionth time. So, nursing his wounds at the Alibi, he decides to show the ingrates by calling Child Services on them, revealing his kin are living without parental supervision. The act of pathetic revenge nearly loses all of Frank’s children to the foster care system, with Fiona spends the whole season fighting desperately to keep the kids… and consigning her future to the trash heap as a result.

Frank should’ve gone off that bridge much sooner.

2. The Time When Frank Pretends to Be a Boyfriend to His Estranged Daughter…

When diagnosed with cancer, most people would do anything to survive the harrowing fight. But Frank isn’t most people, as he does them all one better: he tracks down his eldest daughter, who he has never met before, and pretends to be a straight-edged Good Samaritan looking for a date. Clearly Sammi has daddy issues when she looks at Frank as a suitor and is willing to give him a slice of her liver after two dates.

To Frank’s credit, he never seems into kissing his daughter, making out with his daughter, seeing his daughter in her underwear, or apparently grinding on his daughter off-screen. But he still does it all. It is quite honestly one of the most disgusting, deplorable, and instantly iconic Frank storylines in all of Shameless. Miraculously, Sammi stays by Frank’s side as a daughter when the truth comes flooding out. Some viewers may condemn her, but how many of us still watch after seeing the other crap he’s gotten up to? In fact, this isn’t even his most outrageous medical scam…

1. The Time When Frank Lied About Dottie’s Transplant and then Broke Her Heart…

Yes, the most lowdown, brazen, and high-handed action came early in season 2 in a moment that feels like it was (almost) paid back by the universe’s karma in season 4. It’s the time when Frank knew about Dottie’s heart transplant… and then still banged her to death. Literally. Frank found out that “butterface” Dottie, the Alibi’s former good-time girl who worked for the city, is quickly dying and is in need of a heart transplant. The likelihood of her surviving this is so low that Frank is willing to marry her and knowingly “light a candle for you everyday.”

What he really wants is to be placed in her will for all that government pension money. He doesn’t even have to sleep with her, because the act of making love will kill her barely-operating heart. So when bride-to-be Dottie is in the shower, Frank is the only one to hear her get the call: she has won the medical lottery and is going to get a heart transplant! Except, she’s already dead. At least that is what Frank tells the hospital before hanging up.

And it was all for naught. Dottie ended up giving her money to the estranged adult daughter she barely knew, leaving Frank with nothing. Frank’s only consolation prize is that she is sick of waiting for a heart that will never come (Frank made sure of that), and she requests that he screws the life out of her, which he does with aplomb.

He didn’t let her know about a heart transplant for money that he’d never see, and he still sleeps with her, knowing full well that this will be how she dies. Frank killed Dottie and won’t even light a candle at the church without stealing some donation money. It does not get more Shameless than that.

Editor’s Note: The original version of this article was published on January 11, 2015.

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