AITA for wanting to change the Wi-Fi password?

Backstory: My roommate only pays $700 for rent and refuses to split the electric, Wi-Fi, and groceries. When that wasn't the deal in the first place.

My name is on the Wi-Fi bill and electric. Is it mean to change the Wi-Fi password so she can't access it? For like the first 3 months of us living together she was sending me $40/mo for her half of Wi-Fi (total is $80/mo) and her half of the electric bill and rent. She was late a few months in a row on rent and stopped sending me the money for the Wi-Fi and electric. We settled on her paying $700 for rent and I pay the remaining $1,147 since I have the master and use the covered parking spot (that she still tries to park in and gets mad at me when I tell her to move her car). As well as we used to alternate buying groceries but now I'm the only one who buys food, I've noticed she never eats it though.

I'm tired of wasting my money on her and getting absolutely nothing in return. She's not even here half the time so why should she need the Wi-Fi anyways.

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AITA for threatening eviction to my girlfriends father?

I recently inherited an apartment complex from a deceased family member. In one of the two buildings, (small world) is my girlfriend's father. In his apartment is a severe hoarding condition. I noticed this when I went door to door to meet with each tenant to inform them of new ownership/management.

I knocked on the door, and the door can only open halfway. The stench is terrible (of cat p*ss and etc), clothes and garbage from floor to ceiling, and the only organized room was the bedroom. I was SHOCKED. I told him that I am giving him 30 days to clean or he will be evicted. He said "well i'm your girlfriend's dad, you cant do that to me! I won't have anywhere to live". He has 6 cats, no idea HOW they are even alive, there's black mold in the closet and I spotted about 6 cockroaches.

I told him that I will order a dumpster for next weekend. If compliance is not met, I will have him legally evicted as he poses a huge hazardous threat to everyone in the building. My gf is begging me to let him stay but, I am not wasting time and any more funds on him, or giving any special treatment.

I also told him that if he is able to stay after the 30 days, i am giving im 30 days to get rid of the cats, as I will not be allowing them on my properties. This has created so much tension between me and him and my gf and I because she wants him to live the way he has been...

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About the other blog, it's normal it never came up in your searches since it's literally only a few days old. It's a result of the reddit drama and only looks old because it started posting like 40 posts a day (I started following them after their first posts but unfollowed after a day because there's only so much aita content a person can see on the dash before going crazy, I much prefer your occasional posts.) Also your blogs are very different imo, they mostly work with sent in asks while you bring them over from reddit. Of course you do you and I fully understand if you'd want to stop! But do know you're not just a copy of that new blog 💙

Oh! Well that is somewhat comforting to hear at least, thank you!! Also mildy frustrating that they apparently have thousands of followers after just a few days when this one has about 400 after a month but oh well. Guess I wasn't putting myself out there enough to be noticed 🤷🏻‍♀️

But again, I'm really busy at the moment so it's a bit of a relief to let this one go and I'm glad there's another AITA source on tumblr now. :)

Hi, last night I received several asks telling me there already is another, seemingly very well established AITA account over at @am-i-the-asshole-official that I was totally unaware of. Somehow it never came up during my searches for AITA content, so I was fully under the assumption that an AITA poll blog did not exist yet. I wanted to make this blog because I thought it was odd how the poll feature didn't have people jump on the chance to post AITA content which apparently it did! I just didn't see it!

I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm not an active poster in the slightest and I have a lot going on in my personal life at the moment, so finding and reading stories and then preparing the poll posts almost daily is very tedious for me to do. I have already thought about abandoning this blog multiple times just because of how I currently don't really have the time for it really.

This blog is at just under 400 followers right now and I'd like to thank you all for being here at all, but I don't think I will continue this blog myself. If anyone does want to continue this blog, I made it on a fully seperate Account so I can pass it on to another owner if anyone wants it.

If not, thank you all for being here! 🧡

There is two more posts in the queue for tonight and then that's it. :)

AITA for asking my boyfriend to replace something of mine that he broke?

This is a stupid and simple argument, I know. The other day, my boyfriend (20M) and I (21F) were hanging out at his house. I was wearing just a sports bra and shorts. You know those little holes they have so you can remove the pads? Well, he thought that was a rip, and decided to stick his fingers in it and rip it. (But even if it was a rip, why would you make it worse?)

It was my favorite bra. I have more of course, but he broke it and I expect him to replace it with a new one. For some reason, he just refuses.

I asked him if he doesn’t have the money for it right now. I understand not having the money, and said he doesn’t need to replace it immediately. He says that’s not an issue. I asked if he just doesn’t want to go bra shopping, and offered to get one online. He says he doesn’t care about that either. I even asked him, if I broke something of yours, would you expect me to replace it? He said yes. So I’m not sure what the issue is here. I 100% would pay him back or purchase a replacement if I broke something of his, even if it was an accident.

He called me because I texted him saying I’m not joking, and that this isn’t funny anymore. He then was talking in a high-pitched voice (kinda like Elmo?) while on the phone, and I told him if he doesn’t talk to me seriously then I’d hang up. So when he didn’t stop, I just hung up.

Now he’s just acting pissed off, and says he needs space. I’ll give him space if he needs it, but I don’t want to have an issue over something stupid like this. What am I suppose to do here? Am I being unfair? How do I deescalate the situation?

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AITA because I don’t want to share my art commission money?

My husband works full time and I am a stay at home mom. Sometimes I work twice a week during the school year at a daycare. The income all goes to our joint account and we both get an allowance each paycheck.

On the side in my free time I occasionally do commissioned art work. And when I say occasionally I get maybe four a year. I wouldn’t consider it income because it isn’t consistent in the slightest.

My husband says we should split it because he doesn’t have a hobby that gives him extra income. I said I use it for art supplies so I can continue to do my hobby. He wants either 50/50 or 80% goes to my art fund and we split the rest 50/50

I don’t want to share my commission money. I only make between $20-50 each commission and I don’t get them very often. Maybe 2-5 a year.. Husband says it’s no fair I get extra money to spend and he doesn’t.

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AITA for making a PMS / period joke about my dad

My (f17) dad (m44) often makes “jokes” about periods or pmsing. For example, if any female gets upset, angry, or is just in her feelings he asks “Are you on your period or something” or “Someone must be PMSimg”. I’ve also seen him bro it up with his guy friends talking about how hormonal women are.

Mind you this man has 2 daughters and had a wife (my mom divorced him I bet you can guess why). He also has a mom as well as a sister. So he definitely shouldn’t say stuff like that.

Last night I was at my Aunt’s house (dad’s sister) my cousin and I are graduating on Saturday and we were decorating our caps together. My dad was also over there just to visit with me mostly. Well, he got all angry talking on the phone I’m assuming to a coworker about work. My Aunt asked what happened and I said sounds to me like someone is on their period. Both my cousin and aunt started laughing they know exactly how my dad is. He asked what? and why would I say that? I told him he got angry pretty suddenly so he’s gotta either be pmsing or on his man period? I then started going on about how hormonal men can be to my Aunt and cousin.

He seemed irritated so I told him he shouldn’t make jokes about women and their periods then because that’s exactly what he sounds like. He ended up storming out of my aunts and sending my me a long text about how disrespectful and immature I am, and I thought I was being cute and funny but I’m not. I kinda feel bad and like an AH.

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AITA for not cancelling my phone subscription in my ex (best friend's) name?

I (M35) met someone online, she (F31) lived in Brazil. I live in Western Europe. We became best friends. After a year and half I traveled to Brazil to meet her. It turned into an on-off thing, one month of official dating and back to on-off, officially we were friends. Very confusing for me. We lived together for 5 months until I went back home. We both hurt each other. Two months ago, we had an argument when I asked her to be more respectful and she blocked me instead.

I have an eSIM of Brazilian provider TIM. It's a subscription in her name but linked to my creditcard. The subscription is for me, when I was in Brazil. After she blocked me I kept paying so she wouldn't get into trouble, get a bad credit score or something like that. My ex suddenly reappeared and asked me about the sim. She asked if I could cancel it and I said I would try. There was also another argument and she blocked me again. Told me I should send an email about the subscription.The problem to cancel is that there was a bug in my settings and I can't see the phone number. I also don't have a signal here so I can't call anyone to know the number. Without the number I can't log in on the TIM website to cancel. Also can't use the Whatsapp bot. I don't know enough Portuguese to call the helpdesk. I tried finding a TIM person online to help. I also tried looking for a way to figure out the phone number or a way to talk English to the TIM helpdesk. But no luck. I don't know what else I could have done.

In my email to her about the subscription I apologized for hurting her and took accountability for my mistakes and how I made her feel. She ignored it and she replied with an email where I felt like she was ordering me instead of asking. A bad habit she often did when we lived together. I let it slide the first time but the second reply was even more demanding. So I was angry and told her not to do that. I also didn't like that she just expects me to keep paying until she had time to take care of it, without telling me when. So I said I would give her until July to cancel the subscription. It's 6 weeks until the July payment, I think that is more than enough time.

She was super angry. She send me several angry emails, minutes apart, telling me I'm selfish and entitled. That she was helping me and cancelling is my responsibility. And that I should never talk to her again.

I think my mistake was not telling her that I realize this should be my responsibility but giving the unusual circumstances, me being in a different country, there's not much I could do. I had it even typed out but then deleted it, which makes me feel dumb now. And maybe I should have asked how much time she would need instead of setting a deadline.

Should I have tried harder to cancel it myself? Am I the asshole?

Honestly, I'm heartbroken and feel really sad. This is a person I deeply care about and even though she has hurt me deeply, I still only want what's best for her. I tried to help and this feels like a kick in the nuts. It made me cry.

Edit: My conclusion is that I'm the asshole. I overreacted to what I perceived as her ordering me around. I should have asked her how much time she would need instead of setting a deadline. I think she felt that I was threatening her credit status and that's why she blew up on me. I regret not dealing with the situation well.

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AITA for starting a house project without discussing it with my wife?

My wife, Amy (27F) and I (27M) have a spare room in our home. We’ve gone back and forth since we moved in two+ years ago about what we wanted to do with it, but we never took the initiative to actually implement any of these plans. We already have a sufficient number of guest rooms and an office so the room just sits there, unutilized. I’m not that worried about it, but my wife brings it up now and then. These mentions are just of the unused room itself, not anything concrete she actually wants to use it for.

I made a new friend, Ben (30M), about eight months ago and it was very much one of those ‘we connected from the first time we spoke to each other’ situations. I’ve actually never had that many close male friends, so this connection is especially important to me. The conversation flowed so easily, we had loads in common. I didn’t think such a huge amount of genuine love and respect for a person could be developed in less than a year, but it’s been very cool to experience that and get to know him.

One of the things that we bonded over was a similar love for art and music. Ben is way, way more talented than I am when it comes to painting, but it’s something we both enjoy. His birthday is coming up soon and I thought on top of what else I was getting him, I could turn the spare room into something similar to an art studio for us both to use. I already ordered a few things for it and was getting ready to jump into painting the walls when my wife came in and demanded to know what I was doing. I explained that I was finally fixing up the spare room. She said it was unacceptable I had done this without confirming with her that it was okay, but I didn’t think I would need to since it’s been two years and the room has basically never been touched.

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This story was suggested by @hexmaniacmareen

Can we get the art room one plzzzz

If you send me the link to it, yes of course!

WIBTA for telling my best friend his girlfriend is insecure and jealous of me?

Me [21F] and my bestfriend [21M] have been friends since we were practically born and became best friends in elementary school. We have always had a lot in common and similar interests. I love when we spend time together because it is always great and he’s the only person that knows me like the back of his hand and me the same to him.

So for about 6 months I had to travel for work (I am a freelance model) and we hadn’t spoken as much. Over that time he got a gf, and his gf 100% hates me and does not even want to meet me. He said that she talks bad about me and he insists that she stops. He said that she even insisted that he drop me but he said he refused to do so. She does not even allow him to like my posts on social media and the one time he did she swore up and down that “he thought I was sexy/he liked me”. He showed me these messages in person. I think the way she acts is really weird and gross.

I will give done back ground tho. In our early teens, he used to like me but I never felt the same. And a few years later we had kissed and we’ve slept a in a bed together but never more than that. And that was years ago and even before college. I feel like we are completely platonic.

She also constantly brings up how I have never really had a boyfriend. Which I haven’t, but I don’t date at all. I just stay focused on work and don’t really care for it. She acts like I’m acting like he’s my boyfriend when I’m not.

It hurts me a lot that she is creating distance between us. All though I have other friends, he is for sure my best friend and almost a brother to me. I miss talking to him everyday and just being able to hang out and do stuff. I don’t know if I’m asking for too much or over stepping. I never pressure him to go against her wishes because I don’t want to push him away.

I really want to be honest with him about his this makes me feel. This has been a common trend with his gfs, and I honestly am sick of it especially when all I want his my friend. I feel like it’s just insecurity, and jealousy which is so common in women. One of his exes even said this explicitly so I know it’s not crazy to think this. Would I be the asshole for expressing this?

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Welcome to Tumblr glad to see y'all settle in

I know this comes from a very sweet place, but the reddit blackout now and this blog being under a month old is pure coincidence, haha. I've been on Tumblr since 2010, this is just a seperate account because after the poll update I couldn't believe no one else wanted to take on the task of getting the AITA gossip on here.

WIBTA For not giving a birthday present?

So, I (23M) have two older sisters (29&27). My sister who's 27 has three young boys, both me and my eldest have none. So for Christmas last year, 27 only got presents for her 3 boys, and no one else in the family. She doesn't work and money is tight, but it was a bit insulting considering a box of chocolates is only £5. (It's the thought that counts). Yet she spent nearly £100 on the 3 boys. So, our fathers birthday comes around and she's not gotten him anything. Then it's the eldest sisters birthday. She didn't get her anything. I did. Now, both me and 29 are in development l decently paid jobs and can afford these things whereas 27 will struggle. Now, I managed get something from a friend who'd been given something in a charity shop they work at which I thought was a perfect gift for 27. I'm now thinking of giving it away as I didn't pay anything for it as I don't think my thoughts and efforts will be reciprocated when it's my birthday. WIBTA if I gave it away on the basis of, if she's not giving gifts then why should I send her one?

Edit: I pay for stuff like Netflix, prime etc that she also uses. I've payed for her and the boys when we've had meals out for family gatherings and just only 3 weeks after I passed my driving test and got my car she was asking me to do a 45 minute journey just so she could get some lego off of Facebook Market place for herself. So it's not that I don't do anything for her, it's the fact it feels like it's not appreciated.

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AITA for not cleaning to make a point?

So normally I'm the one who does all the cooking/cleaning/childcare. Its annoying having no help but I deal with it since I stopped working to do so. The thing is, my husband's a total slob. He'll make all sorts of messes and then will complain about them. That's not the problem though. The problem is, he always blames all the messes on me and gets mad if I ever forget anything.

For example, I'll have my hands full trying to clean cook and take care of the kids at the same time. I'll forget to throw away, say, the jar of spaghetti sauce or whatever, just one item. Or I'll accidentally forget to put one item in the sink. And he'll just throw an absolute fit about it even though everythings cleaned by the end of the night. Well lately we've had problems with fruit flies (usually bad around this time of the year so you have to be super careful about stuff being left out). Every time he sees something he'll start complaining about me causing us to have fruit flies. I tried to tell him that most of the stuff was his anyways and he just kept saying he never leaves mess out that it was all mine.

Well I decided to make a point and specifically ONLY cleaned up mine and the kids mess. We ended up having basically nothing to eat off or with, me and the kids just used plastic silverware and paper plates, and his gaming room ended up infested with the flies and started to smell like hell. He ended up having to throw away his favorite bowls because they got infested with maggots. I thought that would prove the point that he's the problem with the mess and get him off my back, but now he's mad I cleaned up everything else and purposely left his stuff saying it's my fault his stuff was ruined and his gaming room is gross now and that even if he makes a mess its my job to clean up (which I disagree with, I do it because I have to but it's not like I wanted to have to stay home and take care of everything alone and I'm busy with school too). Anyways it started a huge fight, I complained to my family but they said it's my job as the housewife to take care of that and there was no excuse for doing that just to make a point and he shouldn't have to worry about cleaning up anyways.

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AITA for wanting to change the Wi-Fi password?

Backstory: My roommate only pays $700 for rent and refuses to split the electric, Wi-Fi, and groceries. When that wasn't the deal in the first place.

My name is on the Wi-Fi bill and electric. Is it mean to change the Wi-Fi password so she can't access it? For like the first 3 months of us living together she was sending me $40/mo for her half of Wi-Fi (total is $80/mo) and her half of the electric bill and rent. She was late a few months in a row on rent and stopped sending me the money for the Wi-Fi and electric. We settled on her paying $700 for rent and I pay the remaining $1,147 since I have the master and use the covered parking spot (that she still tries to park in and gets mad at me when I tell her to move her car). As well as we used to alternate buying groceries but now I'm the only one who buys food, I've noticed she never eats it though.

I'm tired of wasting my money on her and getting absolutely nothing in return. She's not even here half the time so why should she need the Wi-Fi anyways.

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AITA for my response to my lesbian friend's truth?

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, harmful misunderstandings.

This happened some hours ago. I think some context would help. My friend (f22, Nelly henceforth) and I (m21) come from conservative and traditional families and live in a homophobic country where homosexuals are mocked and seen as certain hell-dwellers. So it's needless to say she must've suffered so much to establish her sexual identity and been rejected and mocked many times throughout. We know each other from college and have been (though I think the past tense would be more appropriate now) friends for about 1 year.

So Nelly came out to our gang (which includes her, me, and two other girls) as lesbian some days ago. We had talked the topic over several times before, and I made myself clear every time saying I'm completely fine with homosexuality and other people's sexual identity is no-one's business (including me) to even accept or reject it. This must've encouraged her to come out to us when I asked her while we were playing truth or dare about the sex she's attracted to.

Everything was fine till today. We were also playing truth or dare, and Nelly asked me whether I would change my sexuality for someone. I told her I'm attracted to no-one currently, be it male or female, but I'm not really sure what I would do if I felt something romantic for any guy since I've never gone through that. She insisted on me giving a definite answer by saying it doesn't have to be someone I really know but even just a public figure like Shakespeare!

Well, I don't know if you feel this Shakespeare thing as funny as I felt it, but I really thought it was queer. My unfortunate answer was that I would take it to be perverse to change my sexuality for someone I don't intimately know, and especially for Shakespeare! As you've already guessed, Nelly picked on the word "perverse", got really angry and started to collect her things and leave. I miraculously managed to calm her down. I tried to explain to her, though she was screaming she wanted me to shut up, that homosexuality is not what I find perverse and foolish but changing your whole being for someone you don't know. Well, the word "perverse" did its work again and this time she stormed out of the room.

I'm sorry if anyone here who has turned gay for a celebrity (if this is possible, forgive my ignorance) is offended, but I'm sure she didn't do so, at least not for Shakespeare. Still, I wasn't raised in a place where we were taught to care about others' sexual preferences, so I might be a big asshole here (and I assure you I'd blame myself then, not my surroundings, for not knowing better). 

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AITA in my marriage for adopting a cat 5 years ago?

My husband and I have been married for 2 years but lived together for 6. 5 years ago, I heard about a cat (lets call him OG cat) with a visual impairment at my local shelter. I have experience caring for senior cats and cats with disabilities, so I went with my then-boyfriend to go visit this cat. He was against adopting it, I was for it, we argued, and in the end we drove to the shelter to pick him up. He never explicitly said he was Ok with adopting it. I admit to forcing his hand here. Since we lived together I should have given more weight to what we wanted. I have told him many times that I am sorry over the years for not listening and that it is a big regret of mine. The cat turned out just fine aside from its visual struggles and anxiety around people.

One year later I got cancer. I was very depressed, stressed as I was working a ton trying to get us a larger apartment while partner was in school. The cat we had seemed lonely. Someone mentioned that there was a cat with the same eye issue my cat had up for adoption. I told my partner, we talked it over, and once I was approved for the cat's adoption we decided to make a cheer-up trip out of it. This time, partner was on-board and it was an easy choice. This cat is extremely friendly, well-behaved and he loves her. I recovered from the cancer shortly after.

Fast-forward: I bought us a townhouse, we get married, I sell the OG house so we can upgrade to a neighborhood my now-husband really wanted. The home we bought has beautiful hardwood floors. In the last week we have uncovered that the OG cat has a new peeing problem. We throw away what OG cat pees on, which I know is a pain for my husband - so far he has had to dispose of a sofa chair/cushion, a laundry basket, a paper shredder, and a plastic play tube. It has happened twice on the hardwood and I have found hydrogen peroxide is a great way of removing the stains. I immediately booked a vet appointment and got sedatives for OG cat for monday, bc it seems like a possible UTI issue. Husband found the second pee puddle and said "I'm stressed because I'm dealing with a cat that isn't even mine that I didn't even want and its ruining our house." I responded with the point that the stain isn't forever, I am quick to fix the stain (as good as I can - it does strip the stain on the wood a bit) and the vet appointment is booked ASAP. I also mentioned other measures we could take to limit this cat's access to the rest of the home while he was ill.

I also mentioned that when we got married I assumed that we would approach the cat situation as a team - getting married meant he accepted that I came with a cat. He didn't really acknowledge this so I sat with him but just felt hurt as I've always felt guilty over adopting this cat our entire relationship and tried many times to apologize, and taken over as much responsibility for the cats as possible. I still feel like this is my fault. 

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