#dave speaks
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people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem
#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#executive dysfunction#shoutout to my dad lmao. mr ‘just outthink it!’#fuck! dude i never thought of that#waiiiit wait youre telling me all i have to do to overcome the Problems is put my mind to it#ok lemme consult the mind rq#im back. the mind is what has the Problems#my post#dave speaks
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Sorry I have not been around much this week, I was asked to care for these beasts while their owners were out of town
Extremely tenuous Star Trek connection: the big boy is named Archer, but not for the captain (supposedly)
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GUYS PLEA WE NEED MORE YANDERE DILFS ALL OF THE OTOMES I SEE ARE WITH SKINNY TWINKS WE NEED TO PRINT MORE JACOB ALDENS.
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im gonna be real with yall theres no inherent difference between being a fictive and being fictionkin in a system. im not saying that there is no difference at all between fictionkin and fictive, because the subcultures (fictionkin spaces+ fictive-centered system spaces) have their own trends and folks without community overlap,
but the only reasons i see people separating them as concepts so strongly is to avoid the “trading card culture” common in kin-for-fun circles and to try and get people to understand that their identity is important to them or is static/their only source of identity (or vice versa, that they would be reduced if seen as only their source)
but you know. bookending is common in fictive spaces too. otherkin can also have important and/or static identities or a fictionkin identity that’s their only source of self, and fictives can have unimportant and/or fluid sources and identity outside of their source(s)
the overlap is fine imo, it’s the lack of respect for normal divergent evolution associated with no longer being in your source’s situations and the dehumanization of “you are nothing more than a fictional character to me” in bookending/“trading card culture”
…as well as the lack of acknowledgement that static and important connections to fictionhood exist and that it’s not necessarily good to force separation on someone who’s often like that for a reason and needs to grow/change at a healthy pace
like. to get “i am in a system with a dissociative disorder that has goals around healing from that” for a moment, i think people so often assume the identity-shared-with-a-fictional-character part of being a fictive is the dissociative part targeted by healthy source separation, and not the mental separation from your current life and body, and the pressure to stay static and “perform” your source’s identity
im a dave strider fictive/kin and i got into rap music because it was something i enjoyed in my source. when i tried it in my current life, i realized that i still love rap actually and half my playlist is rap based. i still use a lot of post-irony and apathy to get by in life. i still think vulture culture is cool as fuck. i still call myself dave despite (de)transitioning. i love and seek out homestuck related material/media
but shit man. im in a completely different situation from my source and ive changed as a result of it. i use a lot more punctuation now because im not “dave strider from homestuck” anymore and its hard sometimes but i gotta remind myself that i dont have to stay like that. i dont have to try and “out-dave” other daves like i did when i first formed because we’re just different people all (originally) named dave with similar issues and interests, instead of one “real dave” with a bunch of fakes
that and also i can see myself as both the white haired, red eyed girl i am in-system while also seeing my body (and it is my body now, not “the” body, and not even “our” body^), a brown haired, brown eyed white man as me. i would recognize myself in the mirror in either forms. im working on loving and connecting to my body as it is and not as it “should” be
^ (im not saying my body is mine and belongs to nobody else in my system, im saying that for us, everyone in my system (including me) using “my” for my body, my life, and my system, is the next step to getting closer to each other and the life we fought so hard to live)
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sorta. learning how to separate my gender from how other people perceive and treat me. that and separating my gender identity from gender performance and the idea that i have to DO anything or have any specific trait to be a woman
i dunno. if gender describes your relationship to society and your relationship to your body and sex characteristics, then there is an expectation to perform specific roles based on your relationship to your body, which is pretty wierd and we could probably do without that. so, i guess in that sense, im a gender abolitionist
i don’t consider myself a woman because i was assigned female at birth, i consider myself a woman because it describes my relationship to my body. i don’t consider my (de)transition a return because i don’t remember what it was like to live as someone who was perceived as a girl and i’ve never been perceived as a woman, just a feminine trans person (and only online, offline i’m treated as an autistic cis man) so i’m having to figure out what my womanhood means to me for the first time instead of having it just given to me or something i had at some nebulous ~before~
but it’s. i don’t think being a woman means you have to be feminine in any meaning of the word. i don’t think i have to be seen as a woman to be one. i don’t even think i have to dislike masculine terms being used for me. i also don’t think that not conforming to the expected presentations of my gender makes me nonbinary. (nb people are chill i am just tired of being degendered in trans* spaces and having people making a big deal over my gender/pronouns because i don’t “look like” my gender)
i’m just a woman with a deep voice and body hair and broad shoulders and facial hair and an adam’s apple and a strong brow. i’m just a woman that wears clothing made for men and who wears binders instead of bras most of the time. i’m just a woman who wears makeup only once or twice a year and who doesn’t do anything centered around anti-aging. none of that makes me less of a woman, it just makes me less feminine which is fine
femininity is nice but a lot of it is either based on making women more consumable to men or just isn’t ideal for a construction worker. like. i love lolita fashion but it is not remotely osha approved. i can barely get away with tying my jacket around my waist lmafo
and i mean. i like men. 90% of my coworkers are men and i generally fuck with them. i’m also promised to a man who is my priority in life.
but at the same time, i’m not going to go out of my way to be appealing to men or even think about it in my day to day life because i’m a person who enjoys men, not a perfume ad. yeah i dress up for dates and enjoy when my promised finds me attractive but being desirable isn’t the same as being consumable. when i perform femininity for my promised, he enjoys the show but sees me as an actor instead of a character if that makes sense?
i dunno. i love being feminine in over the top ways that make me feel powerful and confident but it’s… a lot to do outside of the context of conventions (shout out to conventions for giving me a way to explore new presentations in public without being afraid of getting hate crimed fr)
i guess for me it feels wierd to be a woman almost exclusively attracted to men because so much of how people talk about wlm is centered around the man’s attraction to the woman or the woman making herself attractive to the man when i center myself in my attraction to men. i generally don’t think about making myself attractive to a man i’m not actively going on a date with, i think about what i want to do to him and what he could do for me. yeah it’s a little selfish but nobody’s complained yet B;)
tl;dr: i’m still a woman when i fulfill male stereotypes. femininity as a way to feel powerful, pretty, and/or desirable is nice. femininity as a set of rules pushed on women for the purpose of centering men’s consumption and dehumanization of women in their expression of feminine womanhood is shitty
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Finally wrote a new fic <3 9000+ words for chapter 1 with at least one more chapter planned!
Dead dove: Do not eat. Please read the tags on this fic carefully before reading!!!
edit: i dont wanna detail anything in this post cuz i dont want staff to nuke it/me use that info to figure out what the content is lmao
#dave speaks#brodave#stridercest#i dont wanna put all the tags for it on this post but just know its not for everyone read the tags on the fic itself
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btw i know we dont have very many still active followers who actually keep up w us, but for those that do i recently updated both our about page and our overall system page. we havent updated it in such a long time that the code for the page could no longer be updated cuz it used java... it was such a pain in the ass to find another family/bias page that didnt use any java but i eventually did! the handful of us that had specialized "full about" pages available, but most of them im unable to edit for the same reason, so they are a little out of date as well. logans is the only one that ive managed to edit in such a way that it still works and can be edited, so ill get the others set up that way eventually too
side note, i remade a bunch of our pictures to match up with the old dreamself.me pics we had from forever ago cuz i always preferred those cuz i found a download to an untranslated software version of dreamself.me! its more difficult to work with than the actual site, but at least i have access to it!
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to Dave: what do you like to eat around here?
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caps lock killing me rn wtf just let me type dawg
seriously leave it to dirk to make the predictive text be grammatically correct and zero syntax errors
ridiculous
homophobic even and im super not homo
#i just popped in to say hello#im dipping again dawg#this caps lock sit is homophobic#dave speaks#homestuck#dave strider
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cringe as hell when i run outta posts for my gotdamn blog fuck this shit i gotta find some posts dude
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bonjour girl is that a rodent in your pocket or does y,our penis know how to make ratatouille
#ih#goodmofning. 3:14am#shoutout to gray . why are we awake#dave speaks#my post#<- tags i rewrote seven times each ithink#goodnigiht im going to bed
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(idk if we've sent you guys this yet? I've been sending it to all of our mutuals for funsies)
- 🦴 [Benrey]
omg yall haven’t but i love this thank you for this blessing
the playstation sure can produce mind boggling effects fr
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I notice from the tags I've been seeing that a lot of people may not be familiar with analog clocks, and fair enough, if you're used to digital
This is the clock I've had on my wall for 20 years
The hands turn to the right (clockwise) so if a meme says 90 degrees counterclockwise, you take your phone and turn it from 12 to 9, assuming you have the top of your phone at 12.
However, if you want to turn your head instead, you would turn your neck from 12 to 3.
Sorry, didn't intend to make this a full blown TED talk
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why i call myself transfem as someone in a perisex afab body
i noticed that there's a lot of assumptions that go around whenever a system member in an afab body calls themselves transfem that dont apply to me. i also noticed that nobody ever talks about my experiences or even considers them so i guess im gonna have to be the one to talk about it
i think the first assumption that gets on my nerves is that i just formed as a woman with a penis and "decided to be transfem" (or reduce/d transfemhood down to "woman with penis") when i formed as a guy. (i know some trans people think of themselves as always being their current gender, even in my own system. i find the language of changing genders to be more comfortable to my journey)
i did have to go through the full journey of figuring out that im a woman and not a man. i did have to ask myself the hard questions. it's uncomfortable when people ignore that i have had a transition and it was towards femininity and womanhood
the next assumption is that we havent gone through t-dominant puberty or have finished e-dominant puberty. the effects of 5 years of testosterone on my body starting from the age of 16 dont give a shit that im a woman. i dont think they make me less of a woman either but i know i don't pass as one to outsiders. even in a wig and mask and dress, i get asked my pronouns the moment i speak. it probably doesnt help that my preferred names are traditionally masculine, but they're still my names when i dont conform to their cultural connotations
and its frustrating as fuck to not have accurate resources on (de)transitioning medically and to have to go off of mtf timelines and experiences for some semblance of an idea. its frustrating to be in a grey area of "transfem but not bodily mtf" and want to talk about shared experiences and ask for relevant advice but to not know how to navigate the fact that there are experiences that we don't share without making the conversation about nonshared experiences.
its also frustrating to be in the grey area of "trans and detrans". none of us hate our body but i hate the way its percieved. i dont regret testosterone or the extra body hair or the deepened voice or the sharper bones or the larger calves. i didnt form before we had these traits and its been so long that i cant remember what it was like beforehand.
this is just what my body looks like right now. this is just what i look like right now and it's important to me that i don't forget that just because i also look like my innerworld appearance. im not just my body, but my body is part of me.
i do use detransfem/retransfem/transfem fairly interchangeably for myself as opposed to exclusively using transfem, but i don't see discourse over the other labels in system spaces so i dont feel any need to defend my use of em
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trans + fem is a server for everyone who is feminine or transitioning to be more feminine while also being trans and/or detrans
the goal is to build community, share experiences (both similar and different), and consolidate/share resources and tips
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the basic rules are as follows:
1. respect the boundaries, labels, and preferences of others
2. keep talk of sex acts and sexual experiences to #\sex-and-kink
3. display names must be pingable by staff, who uses an english keyboard
(fonts and fancy symbols are discouraged due to messing up screenreaders, but will not be banned until majority vote)
4. assume a lack of malice and set strong boundaries
discourse will be discouraged but discussion about complex and/or sensitive topics is allowed as long as yall are chill with it
(if ive misused a tag here, just lemme know and ill remove it)
#pro trans detrans#dave speaks#discord server#actually detrans#trans fem#trans#actually trans#transgender
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