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massmurdera · 5 years

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2018 best (and some worst)

2018 was the shittiest year of my life personally and I was a trainwreck almost instantly. I was real hopeful going in, but I got my heart broken as badly as I could get (and it somehow just kept getting worse). Ugh. It’s boring to articulate, but it was a never-ending Russian nesting doll of heartbreak, disappointment, and frustration. But I made more positive changes in the last 12 months than I did in the last 12 years. So that’s something.

TV Funniest go-to show: Desus and Mero (wish they didn’t go on hiatus when they left for Showtime) Favorite shows: 1) Big Mouth 2) Atlanta 3) Killing Eve 4) Bodyguard 5) Haunting of Hill House

Other shows I enjoyed: American Vandal; Homecoming; Americans; GLOW; Better Call Saul; Succession; Cobra Kai; Kominsky Method; Corporate Meh: Barry; Sharp Objects; Who Is America?; Daredevil Favorite Comedy specials: 1) Rory Scovel 2) Bert Kreischer 3) John Mulaney

MOVIES 4 ½ stars: Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse; Sorry to Bother You 4 stars: Quiet Place; Hereditary; Mission Impossible: Fallout; Blackkklansman; Deadpool 2 3 ½ stars: To All the Boys…; Incredibles 2; Game Night; Revenge 3 stars (solid rental): Game Night; Upgrade; Revenge; Ant-Man; Hold the Dark 2 ½ stars (OK rental): Black Panther; Avengers Meh: Love Simon; Support the Girls Probably Good but bored the shit out of me: Roma; First Reformed; Eighth Grade Hated: Mandy; Ballad of Buster Scruggs

STILL NEED TO SEE: Bad Times at El Royale; Bodied; Creed 2; Death of Stalin; Favourite; First Man; Free Solo; Green Book; Halloween; If Beale Street Could Talk; Minding the Gap; Solo; Star is Born; Vice; Widows

MUSIC Favorite Records: 1) Brian Fallon-‘Sleepwalkers’ 2) Story So Far-‘Proper Dose’

1975 has great songs but they have too much filler in their records. Damn good songs: Foxing-‘Nearer My God’; Wonder Years-‘Pyramids of Salt’; Thrice-‘Beyond the Pines’ PODCASTS Favorite Podcasts personally: -Filmdrunk Frotcast (Movies/comedy) -Dollop (history PLUS comedy) -Bill Burr’s Monday Morning Podcast (one-man rant from the best comic alive) -Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend (comedy + conversations) -Rewatchables (Movies/comedy) -Bill Simmons (conversations) -Pardon My Take (sports + comedy) -Chapo Trap House (leftist politics + comedy) -Press Box (media)

Intercepted’s takedown of George HW Bush is great. That show and Citations Needed has its moments. I think if you’re a historian/leftist, the best podcasts are Hardcore History or Common Sense (Dan Carlin), Citations Needed, Intercepted, Chapo Trap House, and the Dollop. Dan Carlin is the one you can enjoy if you’re on ANY political spectrum—and the Dollop is not too far behind; that’s truly the most special when it hits.

Other: My Favorite Murder; Revisionist History; Matty + Nick; Hound Tall; We’ll See You in Hell; Binge Mode: Harry Potter; Bertcast/Open Tabs; Gladiator: Aaron Hernandez

Re-listening to Walking the Room for the 3rd time; that’s my favorite podcast of all time. Late pass: ‘Embedded’ series on Trump is amazing. Doesn’t come out often but when it does? Fascinating and goes in on Trump stories that don’t get talked about. Podcasts I’d recommend: In the Dark; RFK Tapes; Slow Burn (S2 on Monica Lewinsky scandal is great)

‘In the Dark’ is by far the best. S1 in 2016 I prefer over S2; check out both. Podcasts I’m going to check out: Crimetown: Detroit; Serial S3

Vince Mancini (Filmdrunk/Uproxx) has an annual best list on the best investigative/true crime podcasts each year that are the best lists I’ve seen. Best Dollop Episodes of the Year (must-listens on serious subjects): Donald Trump; the Resnicks: Water Monsters; George HW Bush; John McCain; Wells Fargo; Erik Prince & Blackwater

The above subjects deal with subjects to be genuinely outraged about versus faux things to be outraged about everyday (Russia; Louis CK or what a comic said) and the way the media talks or ignores subjects completely. The way it’s done is so great (Dave reading a topic coldly while his friend interjects with commentary—and then in the end coming together with a South Park-esque take on what the fuck is happening)

Other: Feinstein and the Flag; Levittown: the White Suburb Funniest episode of the Dollop: 1908 New York to Paris Car Race (live w/ James Adomian). Hands down the funniest. Dave purposely saved a great one for the fucking great and underrated James Adomian.

I can tune in and out of some Dollop episodes, but when it goes in on a subject or has a particular guest, you know it’s going to hit.

BOOKS Favorite book: City of Thieves by David Benioff Late pass great: ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ Pretty good: ‘Devil in White City’; ‘Lexicon’ Meh: ‘Sirens of Titan’ Hated: ‘the Bell Jar’

Best twitter follows/online writers: Justin Halpern; Drew Magary; Brian Grubb

BEST EVENTS: 1) Gaslight Anthem 59 Sound 10th Anniversary 2) Boston Calling: the National, Menzingers, Queens of the Stone Age, the Killers 3) Bert Kreischer @ Wilbur: near front row 4) Bill Burr @ TD Garden 5) Pats-Titans playoff game

Biggest regret and disappointment: Moving my ‘ex’ into my friend’s house in January (with the hope that I’d be living there half the time too)—only for her to end up wanting NOTHING at all to do with me that same day after I helped her unpack out of nowhere, threaten suicide in a non-joking manner in front of her new roommates and my friend after a political argument at the end of the first night she moved in, get with someone we work with behind my back almost instantly (a bland and lame cokehead who got busted for cocaine 18 months prior and faced 7 years in jail), try to fuck my friend when I was mid-conversation with them both first time seeing her 3 months after it all ended—and for her to eventually date my friend’s roommate who my friend warned me would try and fuck her but I didn’t take seriously because I thought he wasn’t good looking, tiny, just vaped all day long, and kind of a douche. Cool. Awesome.

I mean, that’s a simplistic breakdown of it all and how I feel about it when I’m angry. It’s more complex and fucked up than that and I could write a book on it to elaborate my thoughts, good and bad. It’s genuinely heartbreaking to articulate it and I withheld that from her: part of the reason why I moved her into my friend’s place (she didn’t know him or anybody) was because I wanted her in my life and didn’t want to lose her. Instead, it felt like I locked myself out of a party, I’m banging on the door and it’s cold outside, but nobody hears me. It’s just that feeling constantly. At the same time, it’s also very simple: she just wasn’t that into me, valued me, gave a damn, respected me, or cared. It’s NOT as angry or mean as it sounds. It just is what it is. Do NOT move the person you’re seeing into a friend’s place. If it doesn’t work out, make sure you can get a clean break. Oh, and probably do NOT date at work if you can until you know one of you is leaving (or, in my case, she leaves 10+ months after it’. I fucked both up and it’s been impossible to move on. Thankfully, she just left work 2 weeks ago and there’s less anxiety, mental work (thinking about her all the time which I still do but it’s not on maximum overdrive) and tiny heartbreaks each day. I mean, I was devastated when she told me she was leaving and there was finality. I miss her and have missed her all this time, but it’s a good thing: there was nothing I was getting out of it. But still: why did she say yes to moving into MY friend’ s place if she was just going to do a 360 heel turn, be an asshole and resentful towards me out of nowhere, never bother seeing the place I moved into/what I did with it?. Just a disaster of my own creation. I like to think in time I’ll get over it all and move on. I highly doubt I’ll ever see or talk to her again. I refuse to ever go back to my friend’s house for a variety of reasons and I had those thoughts even before the Cinco de Mayo party, but definitely after. I just don’t belong there and it hurts. And I know she’s uncomfortable too if I’m there even if she says otherwise.

Best thing personally: my brother got married, his wedding, friends, and my family. It’s cool to see my brother have his life together, be married into an awesome family, and meet a nice girl. I’ve seen my brother have his heartbreaks, but it’s nice to see him finally have peace and consistency. He’s got a really great house near where the Pats play (closer than where we’d park to games), works 4 days a week and makes bank too.

BIGGEST CHANGES I MADE moved out to a place of my own in late January-it’s my uncle’s 3-decker, which he intends to pass on to me. So I’m saving $ by being here and it’s decent. The drawback is that it’s 3rd floor and inhospitable during the summer when it’s an oven with no windows where they should be to put an AC unit in (I just stayed at my parents: I would have toughed it out but I desperately need sleep for school). But yeah, I’m over 30 and needed a place of my own. I’d love to live in Boston, but it’s completely fucking unaffordable unless you work 2-3 jobs.

One annoying thing: my driveway gets egged EVERY day since May. We have fake cameras, but pretty sure it’s the next-door neighbor and not some punk kids on their way to school. It is enraging. Who eggs a house everyday? And it’s literally only my car or the lady next to me, not even close to the street. I keep on looking at the trajectory of the eggs and it’s fucking ridiculous. Luckily, because of school (and because I was away during the summer), the egging doesn’t happen until after 8-10 AM.

I’m 10 minutes from my parent’s place (halfway to my workplace and gym as a cut-off place), 5 minutes from the school I attend, and centrally located to things I want to be (Boston, my brother, Cape Cod, possible job changes or to where I intend to move if I can)… went to school to be an electrician-In school 715 to 1245 Monday-Friday. Pain in the ass schedule and tiring, but a big change. I suck at being handy. Most people are sons of people in the trade or went to trade school. Then there’s me: never picked up a drill or a hammer. But I’m working on it.

I mean, the job IS risky (it’s not an office job) and any job outside of going back to school for a master’s or doctorate to get ahead (I fucking tried!) requires backbreaking manual work that breaks you down in most cases (construction, plumbing and smelling bad to even fixing cars where I hear that breaks your body down). Being an electrician seemed like the least of them all unless you want to be a linesman stuck outside no matter the weather for National Grid or down in manholes—because they pay REALLY well (most people in class actually want those jobs without reservations). I’m fine with being paid pretty well while enjoying myself. I’ll stay away from something monotonous like solar panels or being on a roof all day though.

Jiu-Jitsu-did this for 3 months and loved it. Had to take a break because I can only do weekends and it’s expensive. And I’m too exhausted for 9 AM class come Saturday. After a 6 AM to 12AM schedule M-F, I just completely fucking crash come Saturday. I fully intend on going back and doing yoga too when I finish school in July.

Most people start doing jiu-jitsu because of Joe Rogan. My answer got a laugh. ‘Yeah, I wanted to try something new. Also, I watched John Wick about a 100 times.’

Therapy-post ‘break-up’ I realized I needed help. I spent a month in February not being able to fall asleep (maybe 24 hours sleep in 3 weeks) before I finally got meds. About a million waking nightmares (holy shit that’s a thing). Constantly crying, particularly on the weekends without her, separation anxiety and just anxiety that did not go away at all: a constant weight. We had a Jim-and-Pam relationship at work, even when it was over—but once she started dating my friend’s roommate, she distanced herself more than ever and it was just fake as fuck. I was frustrated with not finding a job to not passing a test that I studied my ass for 3+ months for that would allow me to leave my job AND the girl. They threw in shit that was not on the study guide at all in the test. Blah. I punched a hole through my bedroom wall (like they do in the movies) and fucked up my hand a bit.

But yeah, I’m working on my confidence, following through with my goals, challenging myself, making adjustments, facing fears, getting over my anxiety, relationships. I’m proud of how, even without therapy, I handled the girl who was cold and distant: I was ALWAYS warm and welcoming, had a good attitude about it with her. It wasn’t a point of pride to be that way; I just was. If I was around her, the hurt just kind of all faded, however briefly. In the back of my head I wanted to light her the fuck up for how she was acting or NOT acting, but I just didn’t. But it’s hard. I am depressed all the time, but not nearly as overwhelming as I was. I’m really lonesome—and I want to reach out, but I don’t know to who a lot of the time. I feel left out and it’s hard to maintain relationships, but I am trying. It’s hard at 32 but people fade away. You think you’re wiser and more mature that it won’t happen, but it does. It’s just harder to make friends, I guess. I ruminate all the time and think too much. I’m trying to be mindful and in the moment. But I keep on thinking about all the things I’m NOT doing or the things I’m waiting for to happen. But there’s always going to be that. I am doing a LOT and the changes aren’t coming all at once. I like my therapist (I had one when I was in 5th grade and again when I was 19: I didn’t like them: finding a therapist that fits you is the biggest thing)

I realized a lot of the problems I had were patterns even going back to the heartbreak I felt at 18-20 when I was the worst mess I ever was. It wasn’t the girl who broke my heart, but it was me. I should have been better and stronger far before I met her. I wasn’t really living I don’t think. In some ways, I gave up and was sleepwalking through things. But everything I thought I was past just bubbled to the surface. And I had to get it right, something needed to change, and I needed help.

I withheld my problems from everybody because I didn’t want to be a burden. I especially did NOT want to be depressing but I think I became a burden for the girl who broke my heart. She had nothing to give and she was upset at me for talking to her at work and being cheerful, telling stories, or anything. Secretly, I was a mess and it was painful. In a way, I was denying myself and that made it worse.

Here’s the thing: I don’t think I’m that big of a mess. I might be lonely, but I got a good head, attitude, and people generally like me. I make people laugh easily and without trying. I got a lot going for me and I got support.

Tattoos -got the lighthouse tattoo I always wanted since I was 18. I didn’t believe a tattoo artist could carry out my idea. Liked the tattoo artist so much that I stretched it out into a full sleeve. I want to do more and have some ideas. We’ll see.

Other-new car; collecting board games; got tour posters and Pats memorabilia framed WORST POLITICAL: the chaos that comes with Trump-Well, that hasn’t changed. I’ll hate the GOP/Republicans and that goes without saying. I have some small hope with people like Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, but I don’t have any faith in the Democratic party at fucking all: they will rather work with Republicans than work with people who actually want to make an actual change. You kind of just realize how shitty a party they and Obama were and how they are bought/paid for and resistant to any meaningful change. We are fucked.

LOOK AHEAD TO 2019: -finishing school in July and starting new career as electrician -cousin’s wedding and going to Las Vegas for a bachelor party (I’m more psyched for the awesome house we are staying in than Vegas itself) -Pats playoff run and possible end of Brady-Gronk: I’m not hopeful, but I’m going to enjoy my favorite Boston athletes of my lifetime. Couldn’t ask for anything more from them. I just wish Bill Belichick did a better job as a GM and not fucking up nearly every draft since 2006 besides 2010 and 2012. They’ve won 5, but feels like Belichick cost the Pats 3-5 more minimum. Every year you have Tom Brady, you’re in the AFC Championship or Super Bowl. Belichick and Patricia mailed in the Eagles Super Bowl on defense. WTF was that? -doing jiu-jitsu, yoga, taking up swimming, continue following through on my gym program: my goal is to delay having a bad back as long as possible. I’m in the best shape of my life by far, so that’s good. I want to cut some of my gut weight out though: when I bend down to put on my work boots, I feel it. -more tattoos? -dating again (I am struggling so BADLY with online dating and need to work on having better pics: I can’t get a single match/date) -looking at buying a condo or home. I’ve got about $100K saved up and just slowly collecting things in my apartment for the big transition. Still would like to see where I end up working. Ideally, I’d love to have a lake house somewhere decent and centralized.

BOOKS: -Don Winslow wrapping up cartel/border trilogy -new Gillian Flynn?!? -Marlon James’ African Game of Thrones trilogy begins -Stephen King

TV 1a) Desus and Mero returns 1b) Game of Thrones final season 2) Veep final season 3) Lovecraft Country 4) Watchmen 5) Stranger Things 6) Good Omens 7) Devs 8) Fosse/Verdon

NEW: City on a Hill; Deadwood movie; Star Wars; Veronica Mars

MUSIC -Boston Callling -new: 1975, Bruce Springsteen

MOVIES: 1) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 2) John Wick III 3) Us Toy Story IV 4) Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw OTHER: Avengers; Captain Marvel; Glass; It 2; Joker; Lego Movie 2; Spiderman; Star Wars; Under the Silver Lake; Where’d You Go Bernadette; Zombieland 2

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popularium · 7 years

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“You’re the worst Iron Fist ever”

I admit it. I’ve seen every episode of the Marvel Netflix series. From Daredevil to Jessica Jones to Daredevil to Luke Cage to Iron First. And now: The Defenders.

I’ve seen them all. Laughable. Annoying. Fun. Stupid.

There’s a big bag of emotions to be felt. I think that over time, it becomes more and more silly to spend all of these hours watching this stuff. But like my friend Chris Ryall, I chose comics a long time ago, so it’s my moral obligation to tune in each time that the images from my youth are turned into live action with 21st century SFX.

Speaking of which - Marvel’s best translation is probably still the animated Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. The one that Marvel/Disney replaced with one of the worst cartoons of all time - Avengers Assemble. In case you’re wondering why they replaced something so awesome with something so shitty, the answer can be summed up in one word.

Toys.

Iron Fist won’t sell any toys, thank god, but then what excuse does Scott Fink have for the giant green K'un-Lun turd mountain that Marvel shit out? It’s a beautiful disaster at best. At worst, it’s a sign of the times. That we’ve lost all perspective. That the brand (Marvel) overshadows actual quality and we tune in because these series have become habitual pop culture watching material.

So we can have commentary like this. So we have something to argue over.

Bottom line: in a world where a Wonder Woman film stands miles above anything Marvel’s done since the first Iron Man or Captain America: The First Avenger, Marvel needs to step it up. The Defenders isn’t that. It’s more beautiful disaster. Broken plot points, Finn Jones lameness, and not enough Jessica Jones.

Even Elektra is confused. I don’t care what you say, Spider-Man Homecoming was for little children. If you think different, it’s because you are one. Or have the tastes of one. Want a Hawaiian Punch?

My advice? Go rewatch all the Twin Peaks: The Return episodes that warped your senses and gave you bad dreams for a week before you spend a single minute on Defenders. David Lynch actually does something wonderful and free with the platform of television. Or watch Halt and Catch Fire’s awesome final season.

Point is: The Defenders is just more wasted (yet enjoyable) time, when there are better things out there that won’t insult you. Because you’re the worst fucking Iron Fist ever.

— Rob

#iron fist #marvel #defenders #tv #tv show #netflix #finn jones #elektra

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screechthemighty · 7 years

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Okay, so, tonight I’m going to start my Daredevil rewatch, and thus a lot of commentary on Matt Murdock, whom I love. And before I do any of that, I’m going to lay some ground rules as to how this is going to go.

1. I do not believe that just because Matt is mentally ill and an abuse victim (and I will be arguing that he is both of these things), that means all his bad decisions are JUSTIFIED. Only that they have an explanation beyond just him being an idiot/an asshole/a bad person.

2. The above point is the only time I will make this statement, because prefacing every third paragraph with “this doesn’t excuse Matt’s behavior” will get really old, really fast. But know that I know anything going on in Matt’s brainspace doesn’t justify his bad decision making, just explains it.

3. I acknowledge that people are justified in treating Matt a certain way/reacting negatively to some of his bad decisions, and also that with some characters, they have their own shit going on that leads them to behave the way they do (not an excuse, but an explanation, like with Matt). I don’t think anyone is just one dimensional anti-Matt/pro-hurting-Matt because if there’s one thing this show has managed to get right, it’s giving their characters some nuance.*

4. Again, this is also the only time I will be making that statement, because saying every third paragraph “I get why person x did y thing”/”Person y was justified in doing z thing” is going to get old, really fast.

5. One exception to point 4: a lot of this meta is going to be centered on Matt’s PERCEPTION of things, which is not always right, and doesn’t know everything. If a character acts a certain way and Matt knows the reason why, then I’ll talk about it. Other than that, it’s going to look at how Matt would perceive/react to such behavior, based only on what he knows. I acknowledge that Matt is not always right in his perception, not going to repeat myself for the sake of saving time, blah blah blah, you get the drill at this point.

6. I’m going to try to avoid making negative, cheap shot comparisons to other Marvel characters. I’m mostly writing this to hold myself accountable for my urge to be bitchy about He Who Shall Not Be Named. Other character comparisons might pop up, but again, I’ll try to avoid anything negative.

7. You can correct me if I’m really, really wrong about something in my analysis (although keep in mind points 1-5 when correcting me). And I definitely want people to contribute to the discussion and share their own ideas/headcanons about Matt being neutrodivergent/a sad, tired soul, because this isn’t a thing that gets discussed NEARLY enough imho. However, if you want to reblog just to fight me about whether or not Matt is a good person, consider this: Don’t. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

8. Also, this is going to be an analysis of the show only. While I’m cool with discussion of how the comics handled things in contrast to the show, if you want to refute anything I say by including comic details that aren’t in/contradict the show, or fill in plot holes using comic details, again consider: Don’t. The show text is ultimately the only thing that matters in this exercise.

9. I’m also going to try and keep commentary on meta analysis of whether or not I agree with certain characterization choices and such to a minimum, because the point of this exercise is to stick to the TEXTUAL evidence and look at what the show gives us and draw connections there, but it MIGHT come up a few times. But I’ll try to keep it to a minimum, I promise.

10. I will also try to be as articulate as I can, but like...no promises. This topic hurts me on a deep level. I might devolve into sad-screaming. But I’ll try to be articulate about things.

*The only exception to this is Stick, but we’ll get into that later. Trust me, we will get into that later.

#this has been a post #screech cries about matt murdock #and that'll be the tag for this fun series if you don't care about DD as much as I do and want to block it

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shanksbf · 7 years

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you know who else was done dirty by daredevil? Foggy. homeboy was in love with Karen and spent so much time with her and Matt just shows up and she's like "well i like him better cuz he's pretty" and while I agree cause I love Matt, foggy still deserved better

#join me for more thrilling daredevil commentary as I rewatch the show ignoring my pending interview and death #personal #daredevil

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kilggles · 6 years

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We tried rewatching the Defenders yesterday. We ended up quitting to rewatch Luke Cage cause everything about Iron Fist is bad.

And I got to thinking about ways to fix Iron Fist. The one I keep coming back to is they should have switched Danny and Colleen’s ethnicities. It would have played so much better.

A Japanese-American Danny growing up in Chinese K’un L’un. It would have given more attention to the sheer variety of what it means to be Asian-American. And it would have been funny as Danny deadpans that he’s Japanese, despite all of the Kung Fu and Tibetan monk stuff.

Meanwhile, a white American Colleen could have explored America’s adoption/fascination/appropriation of Asian martial arts. She was literally adopted and raised by the Hand (whose intention was to collect society’s castaways as an army). A lot of non-Asian Americans find a home in Asian martial arts. But Colleen drops her allegence to the Hand in support of Danny and K’un L’un. There’s social commentary on being an ally here that’s wasted.

There was the potential of a great Asian-American story here. It could have easily been in similar tone with Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, which don’t shy away from topics of gender and race. Instead Iron Fist plays into every “oriental” cliche evvvrrr. And Daredevil already sorta flirts with these tropes anyway. Why Marvel had to DOUBLE DOWN with Iron Fist is beyond me.

#rant #its so bad #just my ideas

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cendrilliion-a-blog · 7 years

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was tagged in a thing by @anachronistical !! thank u darling. uwu <333

post TEN characters you’d like to roleplay as, have roleplayed as, and might bring back, then tag ten people to do the same. ( If you can’t think of ten characters, just write down however many you can. )

PLEASE REPOST INSTEAD OF REBLOGGING.

CURRENTLY PLAYING:

cinderella ( from the 2015 live action disney film ) - cendrilliion elektra natchios ( from the daredevil netflix series ) - machiitis

HAVE PLAYED:

AU ROSE TYLER ( doctor who ) – omf my first canon muse. i remember being so smitten by her and so unsatisfied with journey’s end that i had to rectify it by writing an au version. what a m e s s i was. i’m not writing the url. too embarrassed lmao.

JEMMA SIMMONS ( mcu/agents of s.h.i.e.l.d, ) – this one.... started when i was young and naive and not emotionally wrecked by the show.... she lasted less than a week though. :3 url was onlyanexam, i think.

QUEEN ELSA ( frozen ) – can u tell i like playing queens, dilly dilly. jk, jk. elsa was everything to me. like... finally. a character who understood what it was like to be looked at a certain way, had anxieties, and who longed for freedom, and was hella gorgeous to boot. everything i was and wanted to be. urls were dexvet and isolert !!

BOBBI MORSE ( mcu/agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. & 616 influences ) – again ; young, naive, not emotionally wrecked. bobbi was my last muse before taking a year’s break from tumblr’s rpc, and returning as ella. i loved her, but hated how myself and the whedons were writing her. bobbi deserves better, mmkay. url was morsebird.

WOULD LIKE TO BRING BACK:

elsa ??? maybe. but i’ve terrible duplicate anxiety. there are just ?? so many ??? literally the only reason i could come back to ella was because i managed to hc my way into telling myself i have a unique, good enough portrayal. soooooo.

WOULD LIKE TO PLAY:

TADASHI HAMADA – my husband. i loved bh6 so much and his death still bREAKS ME. there’s so much i could do with him because he was literally in the movie for 15 min. i still have a url saved for him on my personal account... it’s such a big worry of mine that i can’t do male characters justice, though.

STEEB STEVE ROGERS – my other husband. let me tell u a thing about steven grant rogers aka a character who is good yet flawed and i want to play with that sO BADLY. like, i love political and religious and moral commentary so much ; and steve is literally the result of all of that. and did i mention he went to art school ???? MY LOV. but, ew, anxiety.

JEAN GREY – before the mcu, there was the x-men films. and they still are being made. and they still do no justice to my precious babe. maybe one day i’ll be able to convince myself to try my hand at her and gIVE HER THE JUSTICE SHE DESERVES.

KARA DANVERS/ZOR-EL – i love kara so much !!! it was literally between her and elektra when i was trying to pick a second muse. the only reason elektra won was because i had no legal access to rewatch supergirl... until it appeared on my netflix after i made elektra’s blog. ffs.

DIANA TONG – a character from a local show called TANGLIN. however, because it’s a singaporean show..... there’s literally no tumblr fandom. 8///

idk, maybe JYN ERSO from rogue one ??? i’d really like to play in the sw fandom one day.

BARBARA GORDON/ORACLE – if i ever pick up comics again... babs is the girl for me. gotta love that disability rep !!!

TAGGED BY: @anachronistical TAGGING: @fixesit @lovedfalling @cyberyond and whoever else wants to do this !!!!

#{ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ }

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