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chuchiotaku · 3 years

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Ok, first of all

HOW DARE YOU MAKING ME THINK I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL JANUARY FOR THE NEW CHAPTER!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE HEART ATTACK I HAD THIS MORNING WHEN I SAW THE UPDATE!?!?

Ok, now that, ehm... I'm calmed down, let me gush on your art piece once again.

I loved everything. I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. How many things not said, how many plans that will never see the light, how many... apologies, never to be make...

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him, but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

But moving on from depressing topics, I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry...

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you.

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend) and I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

First off, anon, happy New Year! 🎉🎉🎉

Ahaha, sorry about the mini-heart attack. I was aiming to post chapters 14 and 15 relatively close together because they’re initially planned to be one chapter but I hit some snags so yeah, chapter 15 got delayed. But at least it’s up now, right? :)

[Warning: Long response ahead. ]

I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time.

That part at the mirror was very relatable, I think. There are things we will always want, but deep down, we know they can never be. In order for Ron to move forward, he had to acknowledge that and let go, something he learned he had to do after that Owlery scene with Harry.

Not that he entirely has, mind you. But it’s a good step forward.

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him

It’s a comforting interpretation, but I feel the need to remind my readers that the Mirror of Erised shows only the deepest desires of its viewer. The scene where the new life versions of Ron’s loved ones take over the older ones, telling Ron that they accept and love him, is Ron’s true deepest desire now that he time travelled. Not that it is what’s real. That’s why Ron broke down, because he knows deep down it’s just a fantasy. Weell, we know that’s not entirely true, but to him it is.

(The Deluminator souvenir from Death and its visions, on the other hand...)

but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

You know what they say: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. :shrugs: Honestly, Ron is such a taken-for-granted character both in the books and in the fandom, it’s so frustrating...

Anyway, getting off the angst train!

I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too?

I wanted to show the tight knit Weasley dynamic JK claims they have but never really showed because we are limited to Harry’s narrative (which is understandable). And as what I have planned for second year summer: safe to say, it will start off like what happened in the books before it veers off canon course. Because Sirius and Remus are there, and Ron knows it. :)

Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry...

But of course! I’d like to think that Ron is one of the, if not THE, characters in his age group that Harry holds such high regard for.

And who’s to say jealous Harry won’t make an appearance? When Ron’s making more friends outside the Gryffindor house, and a certain someone may get close enough to threaten the best friend position? 😉😉😉

Pettigrew doesn’t know who he’s messing with, but Ron too is underestimating the rat a little too much. Good thing that won’t cause him any problems in the future. 😒

But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you.

Now that would make Pettigrew wish he was never born. Haha!

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

Pandora is Luna’s mother’s canon name, but yes I did get the inspiration from Fate, as well as The Red Knight. But she won’t be around until Book 2. Don’t worry, it will come. I hope. :sweatdrop:

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom.

Of course Albus will notice a smart and wise beyond his years eleven year old who became best friends with Harry Potter, managed to take on a troll then get involved in the reveal and arrest of a mass murderer who may have something more in common with him than he originally thought (coughmirroroferisedcough). How Ron will benefit from this attention (if he ever will) or how he’ll deal with this new complication will be part of the story’s fun. And we’re just getting started.

I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

I think many can already tell where I’m planning to go with Albus and Ron’s relationship. The specifics, however, are the ones I can leave you guys guessing. It will be good! Hopefully! 🤞

I saw it as Guest being too fixated at what happened in the books that they didn’t take into account that the second I changed something in the fic, the butterfly effect is bound to occur. In fact, Ron’s very presence in a world that isn’t what he left behind is already creating many ripples. I honestly also saw it as them underestimating Ron a bit. He’s a typical boy during most of the books: lazy with his studies because he is unmotivated. Give him purpose and you’ll get to see him really shine, exactly like what you said about the Buckbeak thing.

It’s canon that Ron is smarter than he appears. I mean, can a normal eleven year old remember the exact names of the laws on dragons, even if their brother is a dragon tamer?

(It’s also another good basis on how much Ron admires Charlie that he can remember that much! Sorry, Solstice Muse turned me into a Charlie/Ron bro fluff fangirl after Ickle Ronniekins)

I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr).

Fate is a very heavy read, combining some of my favorite Ron-centric tropes while taking their fic to a newer, darker spin. Truespartan has done a wonderful with it so far (I haven’t finished it yet,). But as most of you can already tell, my story will be fart different from theirs.

That doesn’t mean there won’t be some dark moments in TBA. And I’m so thrilled that you got the idea behind Pettigrew’s threats. They ARE foreshadowing what is to come starting Year 3. But what exactly? Care to take a guess?

Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Very true. Although to me, it’s not a matter of whether it’s just “right or wrong”, and more of “can Ron deal with the consequences of the changes he made, and whether those consequences are worth the changes?”

Example: from a strictly moral standpoint, revealing Pettigrew and clearing Sirius’ name is the best good and what Ron should do from that thematic perspective. However, these actions will cause some events to change from what he knew, and even cause entirely new ones (i.e. the plot of Year 3). Is it worth the possibility of rendering Ron’s future knowledge almost useless? Who knows?

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

Thank you so much for your kind words! You guys are the reason TBA is still running even after all these years and me taking long breaks. I hope to finish TBA Year 1 within 2021 so please be patient with me. I’ll do my best!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

Oh, trust me, I have big plans for Daphne and Astoria. Might get flak for it in the future, but for this, I’ll have to stick with my guns. Oh dear...

💖 Happy New Year to you too, anon! And thanks for the ask. 💖

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phantomofsilence · 5 years

Text

Title: It's hard, but it's worth it.

Word count: 2188 words 11283 characters

Warning: None,really.Maybe some grammar mistakes?

A/N: I saw this gif and i had an idea. I got a little carried away thou. Gifs are not mine.

"How long has he been like this?" entering the room I looked over at sleeping Bucky and over exhausted Steve. Exhaling loudly, he closed his eyes rubbing them. Coming closer i nudged his shoulder handing him a cup of coffee.

"The same. Thank you." Besides a little bruise under his eye, Bucky looked as if he was just sleeping and not in a coma for the past three days.

"He's strong, you know that, Steve it's just taking him longer to heal. You heard Shury. He just needs time."

Convincing others he's going to be okay was a piece of cake, but convincing myself now that's another story. God i miss him so much. I'd give anything just so he opens his beautiful eyes.

Neither Steve nor me slept since he fell into coma, we convinced ourselves that watching over him somehow kept him alive. Even when i tried to get some shut eye i couldn't,the bed felt wrong, to spacious, to lonely.

"Steve, you're a mess. Go rest. I'll stay with him." turning towards me he opened his mouth to speak, i guess to argue with me but last minute decided against it and closed them nodding in agreement.

"Call me if there are any changes or you need rest. You hear me. Don't hesitate to call me." He squeezed my shoulder and turned to leave. "Thank you, Steve." he stopped at the door, but didn't turn around. "You know he made me promise if anything happened to him I'd have to take care of you."

His words surprised me, Bucky wanted him to take care of me? Now that made me miss him even more than i thought possible. Gazing at him with tears slowly filling my eyes i took my index finger and ran it genly down his left cheek.

"He did?" I chuckled shaking my head trying to stop myself from crying. Steve chuckled as well seemingly remembering their conversation.

"Yeah, he said you listen carefuly. If something happens to me, you take care of my girl, you hear me punk."

Tears now freely fell down my face while i laughed. It's like i could hear him say that.

" Still, you didn't have to be here here for me the way you were for that past three days. I know we never talked much before this, but in this short time that i got to know you, i realised that you are the most stubborn, self sacrificing, dramatic, loyal and the best person i have ever had pleasure knowing. And i wanna thank you for everything. I mean it Steve. "

I hoped i could convey how grateful i was to this man before me. In this short period of time this man has become my world, i depended on him, and he depended on me.We fulfilled each other, when he stopped i pushes us forward, when i stopped he was there to catch me.

I know it hasn't been long, but when the person you love is hurt and there's nothing you can do to help them you can feel every second as it passes. The worst kind of torture is feeling helpless.

"And they say i'm the dramatic one." he gave me a smile and left, i understood the smile, it said thank you, i'm grateful for you to, you are my friend. I loved how he managed to say so much without having to say anything at all.

Oh my Bucky, i hope you're still in there. And i hope you're fighting to get back to me. I miss you. I love you.

I sat in the chair next to his bed, placed my hand over his and leaned into the chair resting my head and i closed my eyes. The warmth of his hand gave me comfort. I had to take what i could get.

This waiting game is like warfare, constant nerve wracking feeling in my gut. All i could do is stay strong for him and Steve, hold on to hope for as long as i could. I had to stay strong, giving myself an option to be week was not negotiable, i couldn't fail him or Steve.

It's hard, but it's worth it, it has to be.

For the next five days Steve and I exchanged shifts watching Bucky praying for any sign of progress.

Now you were sipping on your seventh coffee cup staring into one dot at the wall. Five minutes ago i chased Steve out of the room to take a shower and eat something.He didn't want to eat and although I got why, i made him go eat, i lost my appetite as well but we had to eat. Forced on not, food was food. And we needed it.

"Oh my God." Bucky groaned next to me and begrudgingly opened his eyes. The light bothered him.

"(Y/N)?" he said, his voice raspy from lack of use. "Yes, Bucky?" wait what? Bucky? Bucky's awake! Bucky's awake. Oh my God! I need to breath! Oh God, he's awake. "Bucky? Oh God please don't let this be a dream! If this is a dream it's too cruel. Bucky, please, say something, love." he looked at me with those baby blues and for a second i forgot how to breath.

Clearing his throat he gaze was set on me, oh how i missed the way he looked at me, it's as if i was the last drop of water and he was a man in a desert dying of thirst." Hey, doll. You missed me, baby?"

I felt so many emotions at the same time it rendered me speechless.All i could do was reach my hand towards his face caressing him softly.

With a small smile on my face i gazed at him lovingly, soaking him in. I was afraid to blink fearing i might break the spell and he'll disappear.

"Hey baby. Talk to me my love. Let me hear that sweet voice of yours." he whispered gently as if not to spook me, taking my hand in his, he squeezing it and said with a shaky voice. "Hey, i love you, my love. I thought I'd never see you again. You're my girl, you're my girl."

His words turned me into a mess, crying and shaking while squeezing his hand harder. "Bucky?" he smiled at me and bit his lip. "Yes, baby. What is it?"

Everything was suddenly too much, the way he was looking at me left me chasing my breath. I before i could think i said the first though that entered my mind. "You need a shower." at first he looked at me shocked before laughing wholeheathedly.

Before i knew i was laughing with him, it was one of those laughs you couldn't contain, one of those laughs that made your stomach hurt.

He brought the hand that he was holding to his lips and kissed it."Damn, doll, i think i ripped couple of my stitches, though i think i'll need a little more recovering to do before i can shower. I guiess you 'll have to put up with me like this a little longer."

I brought my other hand to wipe my eyes, i smiled shyly at him. "I'm sorry i don't know why i said that." he chuckled and kissed my hand again. "Oh, don't go shy on me now, doll. If you didn't ruin the moment like you always do, you wouldn't be my best girl."

Man, he always knew what to say and he was right i always had to ruin it. "It's annoying how well you know me." He grimaced and tried to cover it with a smile.But i noticed immediately. "Where does it hurt?" I asked but Bucky being Bucky tried to play it off as nothing. "Why? Are you gonna kiss it better?"but i wasn't falling for it." James, i'm serious. "sensing the urgency in the tone of my voice and the use of his first name made him realise i was woried and terrified for his well being.

" Don't panic, but I really think i pulled something when i laughed. "taking a deep breath i tried my hardest to look calm and collected. What now? Oh, right, Shury! I took the call button in my hand but before i could press it to notify someone, a lady doctor and two nurses walked into the room.

"As soon as Sargent Barnes woke up we were notified, but decided to give you two some privacy. Though now that needs to be cut short. If you could please wait outside, Miss (Y/N)." The doctor explained and i nodded and left the room giving Bucky a smile.

It's been twenty minutes since i was asked to leave the room. Every second I'd look over towards the door expecting someone to tell me what was wrong. I know that they are just doing their job and that i need to grateful, and i am but i am also worried. Please be okay.

Steve walked into the hallway disheveled, clearly he had been sleeping prior to this. He saw me and sat next to me bouncing knee.

"A hey, Steve! He's alive would have been nice, you know." I know the jab was on purpose but well meaning. "I'm sorry, i should have called you. I was just so happy that he was awake i didn't think about anything else." i still should have call him, i wasn't the only one worried about him, but I just forgot. "I know." that's another thing that made Steve so amazing, his understanding nature.

The doctor came out of the room along with the nurses, their expressions unreadable which made me worry. " You can relax, Miss (Y/N). Sargent Barnes is stable, he heals faster than a normal human being so the recovery should pass without a glitch. But. "I knew there had to be a but. Why is there always a but? " Sergeant Barnes needs rest and a peaceful environment,so nothing to dramatic. "like with everything when it gets to real i have to make a joke. "Alright, well then Steve, he'll see you when he recovers." he gave me a look of confusion.

"But why?" he asked with a small voice. "Well you heard the doctor , she said nothing dramatic."

"You know what, (Y/N)." before he could finish i cut him of. "Go." I pointed towards the room. "What?" he asked. "Go, see him. I'll wait here, and remember nothing to dramatic. I know it's hard since it's you, but hang in there."

"You just can't do something sweet and not ruin it with words." he smirked at me, got up and moved towards the door. "No, not really that's not my style." he chuckled and disappeared as he stepped into the room.the doctor moved to leave. "Wait. Thank you." she turned and nodded. "It was my pleasure."

Ten minutes later Steve stuck his head out of the room. "He's asking for you." Standing up and stretching my legs i entered the room. Both men smiled at me and i couldn't help but smile back at them. Steve gave me a side hug and kissed my forehead mumbling about giving us some time alone.

"Hi." I said,weirdly now i felt nervous to be alone with him and he could sense it. "Hey. I hope my confession isn't the reason you are so freaked out." He said half joking, half being serious. "No, it's not that. I don't know why i am so nervous. "he visibly relaxed after my reply." Well i am glad that i can still make you nervous."of course he wouldn't be James Buchanan Barnes if he didn't try to lighten the mood. And i loved him for it.

"Come here, doll." he moved a little wincing while trying to make room for me so i could seat near him on the bed.

Carefully i sat next to him, i didn't want to accidentally push him. "James." I said. "Yeah?" It was now or never, while i wanted for him to wake up i realised i never said it, and i might not get to chance to ever say it, And that thought alone made me feel even worse. Here goes nothing.

"I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. I love you." He looked up at me as if he couldn't believe that i said it and it just made me feel more stupid for not saying it sonner."Say it again." he pleaded. "I love you." grinning like a cheshire cat he replied."Again, please." now i was also smiling, i looked down in embarrassment. "I love you." this time i said it, i felt myself blushing. God what was wrong with me?

"Again?" deciding to tease him a bit i gave him a smirk and said. "If this is gonna be a recurring thing maybe i shouldn't have said it." rolling his eyes at me with a smile on his face he said. "See, here you go again ruining the moment." I giggled at his statement.

"Say it again."

"I love you James Buchanan Barnes."

"Again."

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