hmm... so most of us agree that nami is a lesbian (duh) but since usopp is her best friend on the crew... he can't be a cis straight male. that's just not plausible. where there is one gay the chances of another are doubled, especially if they're bffs.
and zoro is also gay - so we have that. and luffy is ace (i also hc him to be panromantic), sanji bi...
i actually think usopp could be non binary? i can see it. he's (or they? O.o i'll stick to he/him, let's say he doesn't have any preference for pronouns but has obviously gotten used to he but if someone used a neutral pronoun or she it wouldn't bother him. their world doesn't make many strict categories about sexuality so they/them is a bit rare, most who are nonbinary either have their own pronouns in Their language and culture OR they just don't put weight on the gendering of pronouns. we're imposing our terms on them) - so he's got gorgeous curls that i bet he loves taking care of and because of that i also bet he has this feminine side that he's happy to embrace that he inherited from his mom as his dad left him so young. as a result, he doesn't feel attached to being a boy or a girl, and doesn't care. he does, however, still romanticize manliness - a result of insecurity that, over the years, he has come to understand better about himself. i imagine post-ts usopp to have matured a lot in character and also outlook: he now defines 'manliness' as accepting who you are, and living your truth to the fullest. this will solidify in eventual elbaf. he'll meet an incredible girl giant who everyone calls manly cuz her battle prowess is unmatched and so he'll learn that manliness is just sticking to your guns, being brave, and being there for your loved ones. he realizes that the "man" part doesn't really matter after all, and that everyone who teased him growing up was probably just insecure themselves and projecting
anyways, im obsessed with hairdresser usopp. and sure, male hairdressers can be straight but where's the fun in that? he is so handy - he's absolutely the one keeping the crew looking sharp. a lot of ppl probably think it's nami but i don't think she has the hands for it. she's got brains but i picture her being a bit clumsy. usopp is so tactful and adept with his hands, and he's got an eye for detail no one else does. sanji's for food is the only one that compares
yup. that's it. i officially headcanon usopp as a bi non-binary black person. he's long been spoken for by kaya though, but in their travels maybe he finds himself spending the night with a person here or there
this leaves chopper, jinbei, brook, robin, and franky.
franky's easy - he's a cyborg and he has no gender. he is agender. he's also probably bi, just straight-leaning. but he couldn't say no to a beautiful man ;) tbh, maybe he could be pan. that could also be fun. anyways, we all know he doesn't give a fuck about anything but his friends and family, he loves to dance, sing, party, dress wild and crazy- gender for himself and others means nothing to him. he doesn't get bogged down by labels
chopper is straight. like i just cant see it any other way, honestly. but also he's a reindeer so it's not the same as being a hetero cis white male. he's very unproblematic and pure-hearted
jinbei is aromantic i think? but he might settle down to have a family someday anyways with someone dear and kind to him. maybe someone who lost their first and only love, and just wants someone who can make them happy and comfort them. but i could also see him being content going the way of whitebeard and adopting all he loves as his for family. he's been on the sea so long now, been involved in politics so long, he doesn't know how to do much else anymore. he decides to put that good use
brook is straight. that's why he can be so annoying sometimes. and despite being a skeleton, he very much considers himself a man. but he ain't homophobic. he's a musician and he loves love. all love is beautiful to him
and last, but certainly not least, we have robin aka my wife. she's pan 100%. she has no vision about who she could fall in love with, she just wants to be loved and will accept anyone who makes her feel safe, wanted, and that can always make her laugh. she used to have too many walls to even consider romance or sex for a long long time - but having found her place with the Straw Hats, she's ready and waiting for whoever lights that spark (which in my hc is franky. i do love frobin. i love that franky would take such good care of her. i don't think they are in love yet, but it's blooming, and i think what will happen is one day they'll be fighting side by side and they'll both just realize they work so well together and it'll click and fall into place. they'll share a soft look, and after the fight is over, they'll meet on the deck at night once everyone's gone to bed, and they'll talk then robin will kiss him in the middle of him stuttering to confess and they'll make it official)
i love love. ugh it's the best
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i have a theory that the perceived decline in catgirls is because a lot of furry trans girls that came out during the pandemic stuck to cat as a default without thinking about it and are now figuring out other more fitting animals to have as sonas, they arent going anywhere we just had a massive boom of them that is stabilizing
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