Late spring of ’95. I was 14, hormones raging, weird place in that I’m a freshman in high school! High school! The big dogs. Turning into a motherf’in MAN (or so a teenager who is no longer a ‘new’ teenager thinks). Turns out Brad Pitt was voted “Sexiest Man Alive” by People Weekly (dude is blessed in that department, great actor too) in 1995.
It was April/May when I saw a movie that straight up…
People shocked by Riz smoking during combat and being 100% fine with Sprak doing meth are forgetting this is the same teenage goblin who did a shit ton of FANTASY COCAINE in his Sophomore year spring break followed by getting a conspiracy board tattood ALL OVER his body. My boy has been crazy since DAY FUCKING ONE!!!!!!! HE ATE HIS EX-VICE PRINCIPLE!!!!!
You’re Ruben Hopclap. You’re a teen rock star headlining a local festival. Your interim principal attempts to kill you multiple times. The elusive crush you wrote all your songs about vanishes with some other kids and returns covered in gore. The most popular guy in school jumps fifteen feet in the air, turns to you with a smirk and says, “I’m actually a huge fan,” and spears said principal through the core. Your crush boards a bus going who knows where. Someone gets on a mic and tells everyone to go home. It’s been four minutes.
mazey phaedra i love you, looking at the board games closet at this crazy high school party and trying to get your crush to play twister with you instead of doing cocaine with another girl. mazey one chance please
fabian buying out kroms diner and hiring hudol kids to create the right atmosphere and make himself look good. this is the most insane thing fabian has EVER done. and I'm including the leviathan fight.