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onewmin · 9 months

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so it goes | kim mingyu

Pairing: idol!Kim Mingyu x idol!(implied)fem!reader (but can be gn!reader)

Summary: Perhaps, you shouldn’t be thinking about Mingyu at your friend’s party. Perhaps, you have to stop reminiscing about the night you spent with him. Perhaps, it’s too late for you to fall head over heels for someone. Or maybe, you’re not too old for the sweetest guy you’ve ever met.

Genre: Fluff, suggestive (if you squint), overall, two people are falling in love

Word count: 2184

Warnings: AU (cause in no way I’m saying it’s real), the reader is torn apart, mentions of cheating, slightly suggestive, the reader is older, mentions of social pressure

Author’s note: idk what it is but here we are. it’s pretty short and is mostly focused on the reader (it’s becoming my signature mark I guess lmao). Hope your enjoy it! Tell me what you think <3 p.s. the pictures are taken from Pinterest, so if you know the owners, please let me know so I could credit them! header cr — @/minzvk on Pinterest.

Disclaimer: the names and the appearances of real people are taken for the writing purposes only.

You did something bad. It’s not something illegal that could get you in jail, nor it is anything to be ashamed of. Well, technically, your media persona would be destroyed in an instance if they found out what happened.

As you glide through the chitchat, giving sweet smiles, bowing and trying to hold two drinks in your hands, you look for Jihyo, who seems to be lost in the crowd. It was her party, the celebration of her solo debut, and the club was filled with every other idol possible. The person you did the bad thing with included.

“Ah, there you are'', you panted, shoving a drink in Jihyo’s hands, “it’s impossible to get through here”.

She nodded, taking a sip, and immediately engaged in a conversation with somebody else. No matter how happy and supportive you were of your friend, your mind couldn’t help but wander, couldn’t help but think about the bad deed that happened two days ago. How horribly brainwashed were you to think doing that thing was the end of the world?

Sipping on your drink, your eyes wandered around the room too. Not wearing your contacts was a terrible idea as now you couldn’t recognize anybody unless they were close to you. Or unless they stood right in front of you, waving their hands closely to your face. Perhaps, it was for the best — you wouldn’t be able to see his face as well.

Your phone buzzed in the pocket of your jeans. Reading the message, you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, as you nervously ran your hand through your hair.

“Can’t stop thinking about you”.

You raised your eyes from your phone screen, turning your head in desperate attempts to find him. To notice him from across the room didn’t even require you squinting your eyes — he was the only person who stared directly, shamelessly. You could swear he smirked when you looked back at him; however, maybe it was your imagination, playing dirty with your already burning mind.

You ran your hands through the hair again, sighing deeply and staring at your screen. Scrolling up your almost one-sided texting with the contact ‘Mingyu’, your brain couldn’t focus on anything but the memories of him from two nights ago.

‘Please don’t ignore me’.

‘Mingyu, we can’t’.

‘Why?’

‘Please answer me. Please’.

‘Just tell me why. Tell me why and I won’t bother u ever again’.

Easier said than done. Why, Mingyu? The answer is both simple and overcomplicated at the same time. Because you were older than him — not too much, he was just three years younger. Three years younger, super popular and way out of your league. That’s what you were confident about; although, Mingyu was absolutely different in his opinions. But just to think about it… You debuted almost twelve years ago, when he was, what? Thirteen? Fourteen? Isn’t it weird?

Only in your head, perhaps.

But in these twelve years you did your absolute best to never be caught in any dating scandals. Even with your ex-boyfriend of nine years, who was an ex-trainee turned into a dancer, you never went public. First because you both were too young, and your agency didn’t allow dating (who listens to them anyway, right?); second — you were too busy with your schedule, singing, blooming acting career and university studies to even consider having a public relationship; and third? Because he didn’t want to. He enjoyed living in comfort of being incognito, of having no responsibilities publicly. He could flirt with girls, get on dating apps, go out with random ladies and eventually, as you found out later, sleep around in your shared bed. In the bed that you bought. In the house that you paid for. Yeah, it was hurtful to catch him red-handed, but hating him helped come through the breakup faster. A year and half with the therapist's help, moving from the house to the apartment, getting a dog and a cat, and gaining new hobbies and friends — yeah, you were much better off without his jealous ass.

To consider dating after him, though? Wasn’t possible. Building up trust from scratch after you’d spent almost a decade with one person wasn’t even on the table. So you thought.

You knew Mingyu long before you changed agencies, almost right from their debut. He never failed to tell you how much of a fan he was, his cheeks turning rosy, while he was fiddling with his fingers. He seemed like a nice, sweet boy. Until a month ago.

“Oh, Mingyu!” Someone exclaimed, pulling you from your ever-wandering thoughts. “Good to see you!”

Oh god, he was right in front of you now. The black baggy T-shirt he wore was probably the exact same one from two nights before. Yeah, it was that tee. Oh shit.

“Mingyu”, you whimpered, back pressed to the wall, as his hands were roaming around your body.

“What, love?” He murmured, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your neck. The unexpected pet name he’d given you sent vibrations down your spine, turning you into a melted vanilla ice-cream under a scorching sun.

“We…can’t”. Your words came out as a whisper when he stopped all of his movements to look at you. His dark chestnut eyes magnificently bewitching — as if he had put a spell on you.

“Why?” He uttered, hands squeezing your waist. “We’re both attracted to each other, why not?”

You sighed, unable to give an answer. Your reasoning seemed to fall down at his feet, as it started to appear stupid at the moment. Who cares if you are three years older? He’s not far behind, a responsible adult, who’s also the most attractive person you’ve ever met. Not to mention he’s super smart, ready to pull up in his car to any place you call him from and makes the best homemade pasta in the world. When he holds your hand, gently rubbing your palm, you could swear it fits his big ones perfectly, and when he puts his arms around your waist, chin resting on your head, the heat of his body warming you in cool late August nights – as if you were born to eventually be loved by him. One night with him, preceded by a couple of months of pining, of watching him dance, talk, laugh, run, smile, blush, run hands through his hair, sheepishly bring you a coffee because he thought of you in the coffee shop… Mingyu drove you home endless times when your car was being repaired, and every time he did, he would walk you right to the door of your apartment, to make sure you got home safely. You couldn’t, you can’t count the moments when you thought of him. Every day. Every night. Every minute of your day, even those you spent in the studio. And when the pining was too much, it resulted in a cheek kiss turned into a heavy breathing and making out against the wall of your living room.

You hand touched his cheek. His eyes were clouded with desire as he observed your every move, leaning into your touch. “No reason”. You didn’t let your doubts take over the moment. Not with him.

And now Mingyu was standing right in front of you, a silver chain on his neck glimmering in the dim light of the club. The thought about this same chain, dangling on his neck and sending shivers all over your body every time it touched your skin when he was kissing you in the dark of your room, seemed to absolutely absorb you. And your shameless staring didn’t escape Mingyu’s attention either.

“You seem busy these days”, he said, obviously hinting at you ignoring his texts. You let out a sigh, not having the slightest idea what response you could give him.

“I have a comeback soon”, you cleared your throat, “so there’s a lot to do”.

He nodded. “Avoiding me included?” That horribly smug smirk made you close your eyes and take a deep breath. He did not just say that here, where multiple people could hear him.

“Let’s not talk about it here”, you leaned in to almost mumble it in his ear. He glanced at your lips, a slight head tilt away from his. It was too late when you realized how close you were, but Mingyu didn’t let you get away easily when he grabbed your hand.

“As you wish”. He almost dragged you from the spot you were hanging around, his hand squeezing yours a bit too hard. You felt as if you were under scrutiny, when every other person in the club was eyeballing the scene that Mingyu created. However, no one seemed to take notice of him taking you out of the club. Hopefully, none of your girlfriends did – otherwise, you’d have to deal with their constant taunting forever. They always joked how you were the ‘least scandalized’ concerning your dating life (and less experienced, as you spent your younger years being practically married to one man). And if they find out about Mingyu? A never-ending saga it would be.

When you were outside, a group of paparazzi almost caught you – or so you thought – but Mingyu was quick enough to move to the opposite direction, where no photographers or strangers could catch you. He took you to the parking lot, right to his car.

The place was empty, not many cars were occupying the parking spaces. At one point, when you observed the area, you dropped his hand. However, it didn’t help: Mingyu took both of your hands in his immediately, gently rubbing your palms once again.

“Did I do something wrong?” He muttered, eyes glued to your hands. An immediate string of pain poked your heart, as you heard his brittle voice. He was too good to make him feel this way.

‘No”, you shook your head, cupping his cheeks and bringing his gaze back to your face, “it’s not about you, Mingyu”.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asked, his hands sweetly squeezing your wrists.

You looked down, unable to meet his eyes. That was so stupid, so… You couldn’t even find the words to describe what you were feeling. No matter how much you liked Mingyu, the thought of public going mad about the two of you dating was eating you from the inside. And the fact that you were slightly older than him… The whole stigma of women being older than their boyfriends was so terribly bizarre, to the point when even your cousin (whose partner was a year younger than her) was dragged by the whole family and called ‘too old’ for him. And you were three years older! What would they do to you? And what’s most important, what would the public do? How horribly would they tear your career apart? And what would they do to him?

“I don’t think..” You stuttered, looking down at your feet, “I don’t think I’m a good match for you”.

“Why would you ever think that?” It was his turn to cup your cheeks now to make you look at him. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted”.

“But the age-“

“Are you, like, what? Eighty?” The corners of your mouth quirked up. “I… I have feelings for you. I like you, I’ve had a crush on you since I first saw you”, he said under his breath, “and I know you feel the same way”.

The eye-contact seemed to be a non-verbal communication for the two of you; otherwise, if your gazes could speak, they would declare love poems for the whole world to hear. You weren’t sure what to respond, because, no matter how much the public opinion had altered so many things about you to fit in their idealistic standards, you, from the moment Mingyu and you got stuck in the elevator several months ago, from the moment you noticed his soft smile, had his silky voice be your shy companion for half an hour — from that moment alone you were mesmerized by him. Captivated. Did it really matter what the public would think?

“I do”. You almost gasped when his eyes lit up at your response. An angelic smile adorned his face, a face so delighted you could swear he had a garland behind him to lighten up the darkness of the night.

“Then let me take you home”, he murmured into your lips, “let me take you home every day”.

How in the world could you say no to him?

So it goes. Him, driving his car, stealing kisses from you at the red light and squeezing your hand in his; and you, catching the glimpse of every little thing he does, just so you can savour these memories when he’s far away. It feels different — to be able to fall in love slowly, feeling his and yours palms sweat whenever you hold hands; to laugh at stupid jokes the two of you make, to cuddle on the couch, while watching TV, to go on picnic dates, to finally be loved. Perhaps, this is everything you ever wanted.

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