me: man, i’d love to be a cowboy right now, resting beneath a tree with my hat tilted just so to block out the sun, lying with my legs crossed at the ankles, boots resting against one another, a cigarette in my mouth and my horse tied to a nearby tree with nothing but the the taste of tobacco, the sound of a nearby river and a simple locket holding a photo of my gay lover resting on my chest to fill my thoughts
The room is full of stale smoke, empty glasses, and the memory of music. We, the only ones left in the huge room, stand so close. Close enough to whisper but we don’t. We both reach for the cigar-box, but I open it and hand him one. He puts it to his mouth but does not put his hand out for the lighter, he simply leans over, leans in close, and looks up. I reach into my pocket and take out my lighter. The only sound in the room is the metallic, gun hammer click of the flint, he is looking back down, looking to the flame, leaning into it, taking his time, letting it toast. Then his cheeks sallow on the inhale, it lights, I light my own. Smoke flowing now I sip on the brandy, he looks back up at me, and does not turn away as he exhales. I notice now, he did not lean back. I put the brandy down, lean close. What would we say. The smoke rises, brandy pours away, neither is as intoxicating as knowing I could lean over and finally close the space between us.
I have regular stress dreams about cougars (we call them mountain lions here bc I'm from the west 🤠) chasing after my little sister and I have to save her from them bc she is stupid,,,they are actually quite harmless and don't bug people that often but my caveman brain still does not like the fact that there are gigantic house cats wandering around in the foothills
OH NOO ... thats a little funny but mostly OH NOO I hate recurring stress dreams I have them too but usually about like being at a train station at night and my train wont come and everyone refuses to talk to/acknowledge me..,,
I have family in western PA which is how I'm acquainted with the Appalachians and gougars and bears and what not... idk maybe east coast gougars have chiller vibes maybe they dont send psychic nightmare waves like yours do... stay safe up there mountain man