#cool stuff from the motherland
Text
Reflections on AAPI May and Fandom Racism
I started this entry when I was still feeling really hurt and angry from some stuff that happened early in the month. I’ve since cooled down and have read the beautiful reflections written by the mods of MXTX Diaspora May, so I plan to write about my experience as a creator instead.
Cut for length!
The What
MXTX Diaspora May was started in 2021 to celebrate Chinese diaspora creators and to elevate own-voice works after a number of fandom racism incidents happened. I wasn’t around MDZS fandom at the time of the initial creation of the collection, but I found some of the works when I was lurking on AO3 and reading.
After reading one of the fics, I felt like I was coming home for the first time. Up until that moment, I had not experienced seeing my own experiences and struggles mirrored in fic at all. Many of the works dealt with the idea of feeling “not enough” to be any of our identities - not Chinese enough, not North American enough, not anything enough. I had never felt as seen as I had reading those fic. In days, I read through as much of the collection as I could and I managed to find the Danmei Diaspora Creatives collection and the discord server. Up until then, I felt like I was a single lurker awash in the vast ocean of fandom - there were so many fics and so many creators of such talent that I felt like I my own voice wouldn’t make a difference or perhaps, that it wouldn’t matter. I was someone who spent years being in love with writing, but never feeling like I could ever be good enough - I had felt like a lost a part of my creativity and my mind felt empty of fiction. That’s part of why I started with podfic - it felt better reading someone else’s words rather than my own.
I lurked around the Diaspora discord for quite a while before I felt comfortable talking. But once I did, I realized that there was a whole group of people out there who were like me - normal people with normal lives who had lived through the experience of being forever tied to our motherland through our appearance despite being separated for years or even generations. The Diaspora collection means so much to me because it was a chance to see people like me in the works I consume, something that was incredibly rare and entirely absent as I was growing up.
The Why
I can’t really reflect about fandom without talking about my own life and how I got here.
I found fandom initially when I was very young and feeling very isolated. I was a visibly Chinese kid in a school full of white kids and I had only been in North America for about 3 years. My English was bad and I didn’t have many friends except the other Asian kids, partially because that was expected of me. I think I was pretty quiet and internally focused - I was really struggling with family stuff, but I never had the words to tell anyone else. In the end, I turned to fandom as an escape when I was feeling the most lost and alone. I remember spending many days and many nights reading through as much as I could find voraciously so I could feel and be someone else. Fiction became a magical place that could transport me into any life or any story in an instant. The endless nature of fan fiction kept me coming back for more; some days, the only thing that kept me going was knowing that the fic I was reading wasn’t finished, that I would never know the conclusion to some stories that I loved.
I was probably unhealthily hyper focused on fanfic, but I got through that bit and, as I became more well-adjusted, I had less space in my life for fandom.
Then, in 2021, I got into a pretty serious car accident that derailed my entire life. I became unable to work in the career that I spent over 10 years training to do. With Covid restrictions at its most limiting, I became a recluse at home who could hardly do anything. I became extremely depressed as I started to wonder if my life could ever get back to how it once was. Up until that point, 110% of my energy and focus had gone into my career and it was suddenly gone. Luckily, I had watched CQL and started reading fic just before the accident. Soon, it became the only thing that helped me pass the time.
I don’t know how much I read, but I know that for many days, all I did was lie in bed and read fic in small bursts. Without the ability to do much else (and with limited ability to read at all), it felt like my life was falling apart and I was becoming a useless person.
Fandom helped to pull me out. I started to make podfic because I wanted to make things more accessible (since I also had lots of trouble reading). I was thrown by some of the pronunciation in some podfic since it was so different than what I had heard in the show. There were certainly lots of people who tried their best and I appreciated it each time. I finally had the confidence to add my voice to the mix and the rest is history.
Fandom became the focus of what limited energies I had, whether it was consuming works or making podfic. At some point, as I started to recover, I was able to write again and I started penning some of my first fanfic. For the months that I was completely off work, and the months where I was starting to increase my hours, fandom became an escape and a purpose. My life was uncertain, but I had fic to write and pods to do and each thing I made was another accomplishment.
I’ve been lucky that fandom found me in some of the toughest times in my life and I’ll always love fandom for that.
The How
I participated in Diaspora May 2022 by contributing some podfic. It was all I could manage at the time, but I felt so lucky to be able to participate with a group of people who touched me so much with their fic. I was still nervous to be around fandom spaces since I’d never participated in the community before, but everyone was lovely and welcoming. I had a great time and I received a beautiful gift fic from @dragongirlG. I produced my longest podfic. I read lots of incredible stories in the collection.
This year, I chose to produce podfic instead of writing fic again. I chose to pod works of other diaspora creators so that every work I created would help to make more own-voice stories accessible. I would’ve loved to do a lot more, but time didn’t always allow for it. I’m just a single creator, so I know I don’t make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things, but I told myself that if I helped a meaningful story to reach even a few more people, I would’ve accomplished what I set out to do.
At a time where conversations around racism in fandom are flying around, it’s even more important for us to highlight the own-voices stories. I would love for these works to reach the other people out there, lurkers like the Panda of 2021 who needed to hear them. I’ve really struggled with some of the conversations around racism lately, partially because some of the most oft-cited voices about fandom have considered Asians to “not count” as POC because of the model minority myth. dragongirlG’s essay addresses it much better than I can. I was also hurt when I saw that creators enthusiastically involving themselves with anti-racism work also posted fic that perpetuated unconscious cultural erasure of the Chineseness of the characters. The worst part is knowing that none of that is on purpose - people really do mean their best. Seeing it happen time and time again is exhausting and trying to correct those assumptions is sometimes a thankless task. I’m grateful whenever I have positive interactions around these topics, but my exhaustion is a big part of why I don’t really do much sensitivity reader work.
The Now
At the end of the day, I hope we can highlight the works of creators of colour in fandom. I also hope that fandom will slowly move to improving inclusiveness. I don’t pretend to be a saint or faultless in any of this - I know that I have held and do hold racially biased assumptions based on cultural stereotypes and my upbringing. I want to constantly challenge myself on these assumptions, but I often flounder and make mistakes. I try to learn from them, but I’ll never be a blank slate of perfect anti-racism because stereotypes and assumptions are impossible to disentangle from my upbringing. I think I’ll feel satisfied as long as I keep trying to learn.
Having seen some of the dialogue around racism and being anti-racist of late, I worry that calling out and shunning of people who are considered “racists” will only make those people become more entrenched in their ideology. LIke the spitefic that people have mentioned in MDZS, calling people racists and kicking them out of the group can result in more hurt rather than solving the issue. The more divisive fandom becomes, the more difficult it is to reach the people on the extremes. LIke with research on the radicalization of youth, the more isolated people become, the more vulnerable they will be to extreme views. If we keep kicking out the “racists” in fandom, they’ll look for community elsewhere - the only places these people will be accepted is with the other “racists,” the people we’ve kicked out of the group. I worry this will result in more of the aforementioned spitefic if not outright harassment or worse.
My personal approach is that people need to be allowed to have the opportunity to change and I don’t have to forgive them for hurting me. I’ve struggled for a long time about how to care for people who have hurt others; some may say this is mental gymnastics, but it’s what I need to do. Part of my real life work is specifically with people who have been incarcerated, sometimes for extremely violent crimes. Despite the things they have done, they still deserve a chance to be rehabilitated into the community. At the end of the day, I still need to be there to help them to change if it means preventing them from hurting others in the future; I’m very proud of that. Isolating them more and giving these people fewer choices only makes them return to things that society does not want them doing. I know fandom is not an equivalent comparison, but I believe the same applies - we need to give people the opportunity and space to change even if the people they hurt do not forgive them. And that’s okay.
So where do my ramblings leave us?
-Isolation and shunning only breeds extremism/radicalization
-Racism sucks and still happens in fandom
-Because of upbringing and culture, I hold racist views and so do you
-Combatting them requires constantly challenging yourself to change
-People who are hurt do not have to forgive those that hurt them
-We still need to keep space in fandom for people who have done racist actions if we want to change their views
This is only semi-coherent rambling, but I hope those take homes are meaningful. I’m definitely feeling less hurt and more proud about the Diaspora May collection. I’m grateful to fandom and fandom is also a source of great angst, often because of cultural erasure or racist actions. But I’ll still be here and I’ll still keep trudging on because of the wonderful and kind friends I’ve made. If I can somehow resonate with even a single person out there, then what I’ve created will have meaning.
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Reactions & Comments in Response to Your Survey Answers/Results.... 😏😏
Alright, so it seems that most of you have taken the "Getting to Know You" Survey Poll, and let me just say....the demographics and responses of my Anons and Followers were pretty interesting indeed!
😅🤣
Let's just say.... Some things were quite surprising! 😅
I'll just share my reaction/comments to your responses for each question below...
Just a recap:
Q1
It seems like most of you are from North America (no surprise there lol), with a little bit of Europe and South America sprinkled in. But I was MOST surprised to see that some of my followers are from Asia and Africa (the motherland! Whoo hoo!🙌)! I certainly wasn't expecting that at all. 😁
.
Q2
I honestly was shocked that there were so many fairly NEW (2 years or less) Tomdaya shippers in my followers! Now I regret not asking the follow-up question, "What made you become a Tomdaya shipper?" "What do you like most about the Tomdaya relationship?" LOL 😅🤣 I just assumed that most were shippers of Tomdaya during the 1.0 era.
.
Q3
Wow! I am SHOCKED by how many "primarily Zendaya" fans there are in my followers! Maybe because it's clearly obvious that I'm a black woman lol. 😂 I just assumed that most were Tom fans since most hard-core shippers are a certain demographic lol. But wow.... That's cool that so many of my anons and followers seem to be Z fans! Or, were Z fans first, and then became fans of both Tom and Z later on. 😊
.
Q4
Now THIS is where I had the biggest SHOCK of all!! 😱😱 Let me tell y'all, I was SHOCKED when I saw that so MANY of my followers are in the 19-24, 25-30, and even 31-42 age brackets!!
I was even so surprised that I have some 43-49 AND 50+ year old followers of my blog! WOW! That's amaaaazing!!!
Yay! Come one come all! 😁
I'm SO glad that my blog is so diverse with followers and Anons. 🥰
This is also great news because now I won't feel so guilty about posting certain things lol.... 👀 NONE of you all said that you were UNDER 15 y/o lol. 😅🤣 Idk why I just assumed that a lot of you all were still teenagers lol. Some of the asks I get sometimes would make me wonder lol.... 👀
.
Q5
MOST of you are most looking forward to seeing Tom's movie "The Crowded Room".... No surprise there....
.
Q6
Awww...I was so happy to see that nearly 60% of you all said that you would still continue to visit my blog even if were to Tomdaya split up again.... 🥺
Thanks for the love ❤️🥰
Q7
Thanks for sharing the actors and actresses that you all are also fans of! 😊 That's actually very helpful lol. It will also give me some ideas of others to post about.
I see quite a lot of you all are fans of: Viola Davis, Keke Palmer, Timothee Chalamet, Florence Pugh, Chris Evans hehehe, RDJ, Lupita Nyong'o, Taron Egerton, Ryan Reynolds, and Saorise Ronan. I kept seeing their names pop up multiple times. I'll make a mental note of that and will try to see if I can post some more stuff about these folks. 😊
.
Q8
Haha...this was NO surprise.... Most of us are checking Tumblr off/on ALLLL day lol. 😅🤣
.
Q9
It was great getting to know what other blogs you all follow and what some of your other interests are here in the Tumblr community. 😊
.
Q10
Thank you all for rating my blog!!! 😁
.
Q11
WHEW!
I was so HAPPY that most of you all said that "YES", you feel comfortable sending in asks to me lol. 😄 I was about to say! If people don't feel comfortable sending in asks to me, then I'm definitely doing something wrong! 😅🤣 I want you all to feel comfortable asking me questions/asks/Anons, or dm'ing me! 😊
.
Q12
Awwww!!!
Omg you guys!!! Thanks so much for the wonderful messages of love for my blog. I loved reading your responses about what you love "Most" about my blog. 🥺
I was actually really SHOCKED that a so MANY of you all said that you love my "dissertations" and "essays"! LOL! I always feel like I'm talking (or typing) too much lol. 🤣 But it's nice to know that a lot of you all actually appreciate my "discourse" sometimes. I love reading long asks as well, just so you know.
Some of you all really had some really nice things to say, and your comments really made my day. 🥰😘
.
Q13
Okay...Now HERE is where I feel like I really need to address some things and explain myself lol.... 👀
RE: Antis... Honestly? I don't think I really entertain Antis that much these days tbh. NOT like how I was back in 2020 lol. 😅 I've always tried to create my blog as being one that is open to a variety of opinions though, and sometimes even if someone's opinion is different, it doesn't always necessary mean that person is an "Anti".
Second, I'll just be honest... (You all know that I am always 100% HONEST on here and don't mince words 😅) Sometimes it's just fun/funny to make fun of them or clapback lol. 🤣 It also makes the blog a bit more interesting to me tbh lol. Juuuuust being honest! The nonsense that they send in (which, I don't even post the HALF of it tbh) is just so ridiculous sometimes, that I have to laugh out loud at some of the nonsense lol. They seriously make me laugh. You kind of have to feel sorry for ppl like that who are in such denial and such hate in their lives smh. 🤣
WITH THAT SAID.... Since it seems that a LOT of you don't seem to like when I "entertain" the Antis, in the future I will try to refrain from posting anything that even remotely sounds like an "Anti". 🥴😔
.
RE: The "Ex" Talk.... Some of you also expressed displeasure with me talking about Tom and Zendaya's exes on my blog. Okay... Can I just say??? I always feel like this area is a very very FINE line. 👀 Because, on one hand, there might be some newbies to my blog, or to shipping Tomdaya just in general, and they might have a few questions re: the exes. (Understandable)
There are also others who might just be curious about the rlshps that TZ had in the past, etc. (Understandable)
But then there are the very OBVIOUS ones who are either "Antis in Disguise" 🙄, or those who just want to cast doubt on Tomdaya or resurrect old ex talk for no good reason other than to start trouble.
Overall though, I feel like I typically don't talk TOO much about the exes (unless I'm dragging JE Lol 😅), but overall, I don't think I really talk about them much? 🤷I don't think ex talk is the sole focus of my blog in other words. I might link someone to some of my previous posts in order to "catch them up" to speed on some things, but usually I don't think I'm talking much about Olivia, Elle, etc. I also usually try to cut out the Nadia talk... One, because she's long-since been a non-factor, and TWO, because she seems like she was somewhat traumatized by that Tadia breakup 👀, and so honestly I think she should just be left alone. 🤷
With that said however....No offense, but I feel like SOME shippers feel so sensitive about the ex talk sometimes... But these people are still alive, they do exist, and it's just a fact that they used to be in Tom and Zendaya's lives no matter how much ppl don't want it to be true, and I don't think it's a sin to mention them from time to time if ppl have valid questions/asks about them?🤷
A perfect example was when one Anon mentioned last week that Elle (Tom's ex) had worked on Stormzy's music video. It was just a simple comment by an Anon. I didn't even know that Elle had directed (I guess?) his music video. But some got all upset in my inbox for Elle's name being mentioned. That's a bit harsh, don't you think? 🥴🥴
ANYWAY.... With that said, if the "ex talk" bothers most Anons, then I will try not to mention exes much anymore on my blog. 🙏
.
RE: Austin Butler.... OH.MY.GOODNESS.... What did this man do to you all?? LOL 😅🤣 The amount of comments that I got about Austin Butler omg lol.
"Too much Austin Butler"
"Not a fan of him at all..."
"Sorry, I just don't like the dude"
I'm like, WOW....Geeez..... 🙈🙊
Some of you all act like the man done killed your first-born child or something lol. 🤣
I honestly don't get all the Austin hate tbh... Is there something about this man I don't know about lol? 😅 I've known about Austin for years, and even though I've never followed him as closely as I do TZ, he's always seemed like a pretty chill and nice guy to me?? 🥴🤷
Plus, his movie "Elvis" just came out this summer, and he did amazing in it. So, I just genuinely liked the movie too! I shoulda never seen that movie "Elvis" cuz I'll be honest, that movie ruined me lol... 😭😅🤣 Idk.... Maybe I'm in the minority I guess, but I just find Austin so sexy lol. 🙈 So sue me!!!😅 He seems very down to earth and like a nice guy too, which is good too.
BUT....since it seems like MOST of you all hate the dude (for whatever reason 🤔) I will refrain from posting much about him as well then. 😔🤷
I'll just remind everyone though that my blog isn't a "Tomdaya Blog". I just post about whatever it is that I'm interested in! Plain and simple. 🤷 So I will talk about a variety of topics, or whatever tickles my fancy! I like a BUNCH of actors and actresses in Hollywood (always have!), so Tom and Zendaya aren't the ONLY celebrities (or even young celebrities) that I like/enjoy or keep up with. Is that such a crime?? 👀 🙈
Anyway, since you all hate that man Austin so much, maybe I'll just post about some of my other crushes lol.... I'll just go back to ONLY posting about Chris Evans or Rege, or Michael B. Jordan or something lol... 🤣
I certainly don't want to "offend" my followers.... 😔
.
RE: Not Responding Back to Asks/Not Being On Tumblr As Often... Okay... again I feel like I have to explain myself here lol.... 😅 First of all, I apologize to anyone who has ever felt "ignored" by me not responding to their asks.
Honestly? Sometimes I'm just so BUSY these days that I don't have as much time to be on here as often. Schooling (esp THIS semester) has been a lot of WORK. I also just started a new job and I'm learning so many new things (which is great!), but it's a LOT to take in. Also, I can't be on Tumblr throughout the day AS much as I could in my old job unfortunately lol. My old job was really gravy lol (I'll be honest), but now I have way more responsibilities and more things to handle, so I am just way more BUSY now!
Also, sometimes I might respond to an ask because either: Your ask is basically saying the same exact thing that someone else said, your ask might be too negative, your ask might be going into a topic/territory that I don't want to go into atm because it will either bring a bunch of haters/antis or argumentative debates back and forth in my inbox/blog and I don't like too much drama, we've long-since moved on from the topic or discussed it ad nauseam, also sometimes I don't even SEE asks because I get so many!
I think some people don't realize just how much WORK goes into running a blog lol. I didn't realize it either until I started doing it myself. It's way more work too when you're actually answering asks. I'm just saying. 👀
I like to be interactive with my Anons and Followers (to me, blogging is just more fun that way?) but it does take a LOT of work.
With that said.... I can't promise that I will answer more asks lol (I honestly probably shouldn't be on here as much as I am tbh lol. 😅), but if you DO have something you just need me to see, either DM me about it, or send in the ask again and say: "Hey, I asked you about x, y, z, but you probably didn't see it, so I'm sending it again..." ... That will alert me that you've already sent in a msg that I missed and I will try to get back to you.
I'm sorry if I'm not as "active" as some of you would like me to be (I thought I was being OVERLY active tbh lol), but I do have a life! 😅 I'm sorry! I wish I could be more "active" on the blog, but my life has become way more busy. It's part of "adulting" I guess lol.
So I can't change how active I am, or post everyone's asks, but I'll try to do better in the future. 😔
.
RE: Using Too Many Emojis..... Some of you all mentioned that you feel that I use a little too many emojis, or that it makes it a bit difficult to read the posts.
Fair enough... I personally think emojis are fun/funny and add to the "spice" of the post and show my reaction... But, if it is making it hard for you all to read my posts, then I will try to tone them down.
Q14
I think I got most suggestions down:
LESS anti entertaining
DON'T talk about "the exes"
Never post Austin Butler ever again
Use LESS Emojis
Less speculation on TZ's sex life
Again...DON'T bring up the exes
Don't post so many looong dissertations
Okay, I will work on those things folks.
Thank you for the feedback.
#getting to know you survey#poll#caution#long dissertation coming through#oh you're gonna need a chair for this one!
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hope you don’t mind Imma dump some butterfly reign thoughts here you don’t got to do nothing with it I just want to see what you think of it nothing more maybe draw it it’s your choice :)
I’ve seen aus where Theseus gets excited and I thought runaway Theseus goes to another empire where they have the same power if not more of his and becomes a knight and then the guardian of the royal family which is cool since they see him like a son than a guard and is super devoted to them and even gotten a seal on his back that is basically a seal of loyalty and going against it is really bad but he doesn’t really care (it was probably really painful and probably done with heated iron or some shit since permanent tattoos didn’t really exist-) since it’s proof he is apart of this empire and he loves being a big brother to the princes and princesses and then the empire tried to for an alliance with Theseus’s family and Theseus has to come since he is the guardian and they see him try to take him but this would mean war so they begrudgingly not do anything and Theseus was humbled in training so he’s actually respectful but is like distance respectful and when Wilbur tries to pry when alone he says “Prince Wilbur of the empire I have to stop you from conversing for I am from another empire and have not right to betray my people and my family. So if you would excuse me but I must find my Empress and Emperor.” And he just leaves and if they have to go to a ball then Theseus with stand tall and take anything thrown his way and if he’s told to give his personal opinion of politics than he’ll say “My opinions will stay in my motherland for I do not have any for these types of subjects that I have no connection to.” He stays close to the empress since he’s kinda attached to the hip with her and I would guess they gave him a different last name just because, I see Theseus being really buff and stuff and maybe the “tattoo” has a sun or a star idk
sorry it’s kinda long and hope you like it :)
this is real cool, and theseus having a back tattoo is something i never thought i needed
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Gifted Live Blogging
So this isn't BL but it's by GMMTV and has many actors who've played in BL, so I'll count it as BL-adjacent.
I've heard really good things about this, so I hope I love it! I want to be invested in the story and characters!
Episode 1 (Apr 30)
1-1
ooh so the homerooms go from 1-8 based on your grades? reminds me of the motherland where your roll call was determined by your exam ranking. humiliating
oh they’ll be critiquing this system, i see
ooh, much of the nanon/chimon comes from here right?
1-2
I think i did know that pang and wave start off as enemies but i didn’t expect wave to be such a dickhead
i think it’s so great that i’m able to be :< about the fact the we don’t get an enemies to lovers arc from them bc before i started watching bl/gls it was expected that we'd just have to ship the main character with their best friend of the same gender and have no hope of it actually being a possibility. Now, it's very much in the realm of possibility even though it's not always necessary in every case; just that it could've been even if in this case it's not, which is fine. I'm just rambling, rip me trying to get a point across
i haven’t yet figured out how much I trust pang’s best friend. He seems cool and like he’ll look out for Pang but like that’d make any betrayals hurt all the more. + the way he said “how do you know I’m ordinary?” was a bit suspicious
woahhh this man looking at their hiding spot and smiling. very intriguing
They have powers and stuff in this show right? it’s not just about being smart?
:00 frequency only gifted kids can hear?
1-3
I seriously need to learn Thai alphabet, I wanna know who got in (the 4/8 is obviously Pang but the others).
Actually, maybe it wouldn't matter because it doesn't have their nicknames, just official names?
Kinda wanted Pang and Nac's little conversation to include the thing about the question at the back but I guess it's too soon for that unrest
loool not the Beautiful Creates series. Haven't read it but also haven't heard a single good thing about it
1-4
The girl we've gotten glimpses of who seems to care about fashion is soooo beautiful to me. I think she and Gun's character have a thing for a brief period or something? She's so beautiful.
Bruh okayyyy
My entire dashboard is like not visible cuz it's all #kinnporsche or #cutie pie since it's Saturday and they're both airing and I can't read the comments on The Gifted because it's full of spoilers from this season and also Graduation :(
Episode 2 (Apr 30)
2-1
The 2-2 episode came before 2-1 in this playlist. Good thing I noticed, would've hated to have the same thing as one of the Not Me eps where I accidentally skipped a part and was like huh?
Watching this is so nostalgic, like the dystopian novels I read in 2012-2014 during middle school
Gun and the girl sitting beside each other are just so cool and beautiful. I already know they don't end up together so I shouldn't get invested but just from glimpses... It's because I'm a Gun fan and I love the female character's attitude. Have they said her name yet? I think the actress' name is Jane. Is she in Sizzy?
Seeing Sing play Ohm as comedic relief is jarring after seeing him as Todd in Not Me and Din in Puppy Honey. Endearing, though
Oh her name's Claire! She's so beautiful.
Wait, I thought Gun/Punn's potential was related to having different personalities within him or something? Or is that unrelated? When so many students raised their hands that they knew their potential, I wondered what if someone's wrong about theirs, I wonder if that's the case here?
2-2
Namtaan can read an object's history right? How would they fool her with a fake pen lol
I'm so confused, did holding Ohm's hand under that dryer... hurt? It's meant to dry hands under it I don't get how it'd be so powerful/hot
I feel like there's a bit of a discrepancy because it's like a cool powers, high stakes (making people actually disappear) but the reason Folk wanted those grades was... to have long hair? Like bruh, it's such a high school problem that it makes sense but is still jarring to be worked up so much over
2-4
I wish Namtaan's actress was more dynamic
Oh, they brought Ohm's "who was giving me this advice?" back around, nice
Oh, Folk forgot Ohm... I previously got spoiled in the comment section that Pang's friend Nac forgets him by the end, so I guess it's something like if a Gifted kid acts their potential upon someone else, they forget that person?
Bro I never learnnnn I just talked about how I got spoiled about the Nac thing in the comment section but I still scrolled down and learned that apparently, Pang has ability to control one's mind/emotion >:( I wanted it to figure out with the show
I saw that episode 5 is Punn's episode, so I guess each episode explores 1 character's powers and this one was Ohm's.
Episode 3 (Apr 30)
3-1
Okay Namtaan's story but her acting just falls so flat for me. It's not bad or cringy, just stale.
They've been hinting at Namtaan and Pang since the first episode but they have like no romantic chemistry to me rip. When are we getting Punn/Claire bro, the het storyline that has me intrigued despite having gotten like 10 seconds of them total and also knowing they don't end up together
3-2
Actually, she's not too bad when acting by herself. I think she seems flatter to me when she's acting with Pang and Ohm
Okay, even more specific I think I just don't like her way of conversing. The conversations don't feel natural but like she's certainly acting
I feel like I'm being mean for no reason T.T She's cute when she's trying to look into an object's past and is fine in acting when not speaking. it's fineee it's not like she'll see this, I can criticize freely
3-3
Am I too old? All the adults telling Namtaan not to overexert herself because of her health make a lot of sense to me lol
3-4
This episode would've been better if we actually found out a thing or two rather than follow around Namtaan's flat ass character but I get that they're just setting up the story and not giving answers already
Episode 4 (Apr 30)
4-1
Yes !! Claire's story!! Her vibes are Bitchy and Beautiful, so I'm excited
"The way people with an upper hand deal with those beneath them is to make them hate each other." Yeah, for real... she's shaping up to be very good at being a terrible person.
Wait, no, she outed someone ?! Bruh, that's not fun, that's just evil
Gun :D
Claire calls Gun using the 'ter' pronoun for you. I don't think that means anything but I was able to pick out this pronoun for the first time (guu, meung, phi is easy to pick out and sometimes I can pick up pom but this is the first time for ter)
Are we getting a True Beauty type thing
4-2
I'm deaddd when the dude Folk or Namtaan were being childish I was like this is childish but somehow Claire manages to be incredibly childish and immature but massively entertaining.
Claire didn't check her friend's colour in the last part and isn't suspicious of her in this part, either, so maybe it's her?
"My trick is no dirtier than yours. I thought you liked revealing people's secrets." I mean fair, Claire literally outed someone.
Wait, the video this person has of Claire is NSFW? I thought it was just her being ugly a week ago or something.
Please this dramatic editing and ending shot, the episode truly is hers
4-3
Oh nooo Punn saying he won't make it to her show
It's actually so fascinating to see her facade of being powerful and above it all crumble as her insecurities and paranoia take over. Like she's literally going around yelling and checking everybody's phone without rhyme or reason, the actor is doing great
Bro, this is so T.T They fr released it
Punn run after her !!!! Right nowwwwwww
Claire and Korn would be so sweet together too >.<
Bro I need Punn to get his act together and tell Claire that he doesn't care about the racy video and he likes her for her and everything's fine. He's not even here and he's making her cryyyyy
4-4
Claire seeking revenge is satisfying but they're in high school right? Isn't she a child in this video. Also the teachers are there, this gotta be shut down as fast as it started, Claire.
No way Claire's threatening leaking NSFW vids of Pangram? Girl, learn your lesson, have some revenge, and move on! I... don't think she'll leak an actual NSFW video but threatening is also too much and should require some action still like why are the teachers and people in charge just sitting there ?!?!?!
Yeah okay, she didn't leak anything terrible.
Yay, I'm glad Punn wasn't being useless! They're so cute !! I'm gonna be so sad when they don't work out in the end T.T
The way I know I like a character or person is if I just ship them with everyone (for ex in BL: Gun with Off, Gun with Tay, Gun's character Punn with Claire, Gun with literally everybody he smiles at) and it's showing with this too because ummm I like Claire/Punn, Claire/Korn, Claire/Wave, they could all be great because Claire's characterization is great and all these dynamics would be massively entertaining (or just sweet the way ClaireKorn are)
I enjoyed this episode a lot! Even though we practically went away entirely from the actual synopsis of the show (evil school's plan? main character pang? the classes?), it didn't make me bored or want to go back to the main story because the story and characters were interesting. I love fantasy and lore but I also love characters growing, developing, changing. It was also great because it really suited Claire's character too, like she took over the entire show and was the center of it for this episode
Episode 5 (Apr 30)
Gun's episode !! The glimpse of that fucked up music notes sheetwas intriguing, let's see what they do with his character
5-1
Bruh, the ledge?!
This dance? Punn and Claire are so cute T.T Her being like you didn't finish the dance, you gotta end it w a kiss
This is cool because I know there's gonna be some plot with him having different personalities but I still don't quite know how it's going to unfurl and I like the sense of impending doom this episode has
5-2
Is that ticking thing in Mr. Pom's office some sort of hypnotic device? I totally forgot to think of what his potential could be. Maybe getting people to divulge information purely based on this one interaction with Punn lol
It's one thing when the ads appear at funny or lighthearted moments but this EST cola thing in the middle of this intense scene lol
The memed "Nobody, never" speech but woah the pitch and tone and desperation in his voice, dang
bruh, chills when he turned around with a slight smile right after his outburst just to be like "Nothing, I'm sorry" The screenshot doesn't capture ittt
5-3
The teachers in this show are truly hilarious, students threatening to leak each other's NSFW tapes, beating the shit out of each other and they just watch (except when the plot needs for a teacher to punish someone)
5-4
I so wish they had Claire's hands be in bandages at the end when she's taking care of Punn. She literally grabbed the blade with her bare hands cmon
Woah okay I didn't write much for the 2nd half of this episode because that was so good. The acting was great, the script was great, the dark atmosphere/mood was great, and the way it switched between real life and Gun's mind and different personalities was all so good.
I don't even have much to say, I really loved this episode.
Also, Claire and Punn are just so freaking good, man.
Episode 6 (Apr 30)
6-1
I know everybody ships Pang/Wave but thus far their antagonisms haven't really made me ship them. I think Claire/Wave's asshole interactions were cuter but that might just be because I'm in love with Claire
Woah, Mon you are sooo cool
"Are there any downsides?" "Hmm, no" Mond girl, not way you're not wrong but you better hope your potential's consequence is small because some of these gifted kids' potentials are tryna kill them
6-2
This time I hope Jane and Mon are actually friends and there's no betrayal please. The club and characters seem wholesome and cute
Oh, nevermind but I'm guessing that's not actually Jane but something possessing???? her or fucking her up in some way
6-3
Ms Ladda is freaking funny in this
Okay tbh, this episode feels like a downgrade after episode 4 and 5 because while those 2 didn't directly deal with the school stuff, they were very interesting and had other things going for it, whether it be character development or great acting. This one feels like it's meandering and doesn't impact the overall plot but doesn't have excellent enough characters/writing/acting to make up for it.
Like girl I don't care if people don't like Mon because we barely know her and the fact that the guy will confess to her and then try to beat her up 2 seconds later doesn't leave any impact at all
6-4
bruh okayyyy, I spoke too soon about this episode being useless but this scene with Pang and Nac !! so good
The impact would've been so much greater if I didn't accidentally spoil myself a few episodes ago T.T
Episode 7 (May 1)
7-1
ominous beginning, okay
What's the timing for this? Pang knows his powers now, doesn't he? Why is he sitting in the class with Korn and Mr Pom as if they don't know their potentials?
Oh, I see... so did Pang just say Nac's strange behaviour was because of Mon's pheromones like everybody else
7-2
This journalist girl's vibes are so... off, it's very curious
aklsdfj Korn ?!?! just divulging all the secrets to this very intelligent and investigative girl like ???
7-3
Lol the drone at the girl's classroom window gave me horror flashbacks to 3 Idiots...
Anyway, you can smell Korn's heartbreak coming from a mile away, like she came with the explicit mission to find out the Gifted kids' secrets and Korn will give it to her but then? Will she stay? Will she keep his secrets? hmm
She's actually scary with how she's manipulating him, rip Korn
Korn saying "The person who decides what's important and what's not is me" just gave me flashbacks to Fiat's role in SOTUS S
7-4
lol getting rejected by Claire isn't ruining your life Korn, calm down. Like I feel bad for him cuz he's clearly being used and isn't thinking clearly enough to identify how he's being manipulated but I don't like his attitude toward Claire
I mean is Koi wrong? The Gifted kids get all the privileges while the non-Gifted kids also have to withstand the weird shit they make happen while also never getting answers or justice for it
I thought Mr Pom wouldn't be affected by Pang's potential, like the teacher in charge of them is immune to them sort of way? I feel like we always need a character in these stories who can withstand others' powers
Actually, maybe he's just pretending and he really is immune
Episode 8 (May 1)
8-1
ooh, we're getting like a full group activity rather than focusing on just one character?
8-2
Wave is seriously so intriguing
is that log eq even solvable for same x ?
I freaking love Claire's dramatic ass
Another thing I spoiled for myself: Punn copies Pang's potential in The Gifted Graduation
8-3
The scoreboard is killing me fr, it's like a rough order of which the characters are interesting and central to the plot. Poor twins
Dang. They really will do everything for the smart students and the reputation of the school lol unsurprising
Why does Wave think Pang cheated?? Is it just his ego that he refuses to believe anybody could beat him fair and square?
Gosh, the talk with the Director is so fucked up because schools/universities really are just... like that lol All the shit about "not ruining [perperator]'s future" during rape accusations for example
Okay, I guess the forgetting thing isn't a result of the Gifted kid's powers being used on someone but rather the school/Director gives them something to make them forget? Like Ohm's friend who got disappeared, Ms Ladda saying Koi won't remember, Nac after he banged his head on the metal.
lol the Director truly knows how to get under Wave's skin i guess
I'm guessing for the next 4 episodes we'll focus more on the school and it's secrets like this one than following each character's journey (though we might have this too)?
Episode 9 (May 1)
9-1
Cross out my previous assumption, I guess we'll follow Wave this time
Realization with the preview: Wave's line "I'm dying to know what you'll ask of the director" after he hands Pang his walkie-talkie that he later listens in with is really great!
lol Namtaan's conversation acting got better or she just looks better doing it against Wave because his acting's a bit unnatural for me (his scream at the end of last ep lol)
Bruh, this teacher is acting so unprofessionally, why would you wipe this student's mouth with your handkerchief and lean in so close?
Gosh, Nara is making me sooo uncomfortable. As an adult, there are certain mannerisms and distance you must maintain when interacting with children. At first I thought it'd be like a normal Wave has a crush on a teacher but she's soo ?? flirty ?? I'm deeply uncomfortable
9-2
I don't wanna even think about another love triangle with Pang - Namtaan - Wave. They already have one with Punn - Claire - Korn, c'mon now.
Namtaan's acting is back to being somewhat awkward
The interactions between Wave and Nara truly make me want to die, why is she a teacher/adult in the school idek who she is acting the way she is with a student who's also a child fr. And they're alone on a rooftop in the evening, Wave my guy, run as far away as possible
rip they really ganged up on Wave like that but I can understand them since it's Mr Pom who said they suspect Wave
9-3
who is this random girl though. This far into the story I don't like it when they introduce new characters just for some conflict. Koi, for example, we knew from before because of her journalism stuff and Nara is from Wave's past so it makes sense that she's new to the story but this maroon hoodie girl ?
Isn't Wave a little toooo soft when he's with Namtaan, divulging his vulnerabilities so easily
Uhh yeah, that's a very deserved warning
Wait um ???
Bruh, what do you mean you didn't do anything wrong, weren't you about to kiss Nara? Not that I think the fault necessarily lies with Wave, it's Nara abusing her position of power for sure bc wtf
Anyway don't make Namtaan Nara's daughter or something cuz that'd be so fucking weird
9-4
Bruh, can't they just ask them to discuss the thesis?
?? What exactly did Wave do wrong, bruh? Nara tricked him into doing her thesis, was inappropriately close with him, and bought her degrees. Wave exposing that she bought the degree makes perfect sense, she had it coming tf
I don't like Namtaan enough to let go of her stupid shit the way I would do for Claire and maybe Punn
I think the writing and characterization for this episode could've been tighter but it was interesting to finally see Wave's backstory nonetheless.
Is this the first episode where the arc doesn't get wrapped up by the end?
Episode 10 (May 1)
10-1
Girl what's going on
10-2
Mon's actress is very beautiful
Why are the teachers in this school so useless? Not even just for like treating students unfairly but like controlling students lol Ms Ladda is intimidating but so much shit happens that she's clueless about
I don't quite get how this threat is working against Mon like first of all, she's no longer in the Martial Arts club because they hated her anyway and like the Gifted kids would understand that it's just her sweat and she didn't know (+ Pang already knows) like ?
10-3
Okay, would Wave actually give away the secrets? I can't think of what he'd gain by doing so, so I'd guess no. He probably gets off on the fact that he's getting so many people to follow his/the app's orders and is causing chaos because he's better than everybody else but he doesn't seem like the type who'd want the info to get out. Maybe it'll just be a prank at the end to show people they can manipulate them?
10-4
Okay, so he wouldn't have actually leaked anything, it's just to display his knowledge and potential
I like the Pang and Wave convo
I feel the same way about this episode that I do about episode 6. The first 3 parts with the action and erratic behaviour don't really appeal to me (it might've appealed to me more if we understood why Wave was doing more or if he had a better reason than just I wanna show everybody I'm smart) but the last part with Pang is good
Episode 11 (May 1)
how many episodes am I gonna watch today? I should stop for today so that I can watch the other 3 tomorrow but I won't do that
11-1
I think I'll scream cry throw up tear out my hair when Punn and Claire break up "Do I like music? I don't know but I know someone I love likes it when I play it for her."
Okay interesting, I guess we'll focus on multiple people this episode
11-2
Dang before Pat and Pran's fist bumps, there was Wave and Pang's ?
Okay I stopped here last night because I had to wake up at like 8:30 for Eid, so I’m watching the rest the next day on Eid hoho
11-3
What does that sayyy why don’t they translate aghhh I’ll assume it’s something like 1 week later
Bruh, their friends realizing Wave getting Pang lunch and straws and calling him etc I can 100% see where all the shipping is coming from now
11-4
Ms Ladda is so interesting. She had undying loyalty to the school while she was there but now that she’s been fired, she’s willing to give Chanon’s folder to them (even though she thinks they can’t do real damage). I assume she’ll show up again even if she’s not a part of it all anymore? Esp because she was wiping people’s memories probably
Mr Pom can stop time? I feel like I should’ve been able to figure that out with the ticking clock thing always there but I was like hmm maybe the ticking helps with hypnosis lol
Oh, it’s called a Metronome from the comments
Also, read the comments and got spoiled that the director apparently has same powers as Pang rip someone was theorizing about what’s happening and a commentor was like “director has same power as pang, remember?” like bruh no? They don’t remember because they’re clearly watching it for the first time and trying to figure it out
Episode 12 (May 2)
12-1
Ohhh, so Pom’s the one who can erase memories? Or can he stop time and then do smth to erase memories
Nooo Pang sitting down all pouty while Wave throws paper balls at him and calls him stupid is so cutee
It’s Eid so I haven’t been able to watch a whole lot of this and tomorrow I won’t have my laptop with me nooo when will I watch these last 2 episodes. I’ll try to finish episode 12 tonight and then maybe watch Episode 13 on my phone sometime tomorrow ?
12-2
lool this electric metronome
12-3
Okay but I don’t get why they’re stealing each other’s pins... they don’t want their classmates to get fucking expelled, do they? Like okay I believe Claire and Punn would fuck over other people to get their pins the way they did with the twins but Ohm doing that to trick twin Joe to steal his pin ?? hm
I wish they’d taken the folder from him when Pang commanded him to remember because how do you know he won’t try to destroy it even more after he remembers lol
12-4
Yeah lol they’re so smart in some ways but fr oversee everything in some others like why wouldn’t you just take the folder
This Canon-Pom thing got me all fucked up fr
Ms Ladda gave Ohm the lose powers injection ?!
Episode 13 (May 3)
I went on a 1 day trip and so watched the first part of this on my laptop before leaving and the rest of it on my phone when I had some down time because I needed to know what happened. So here’s my notes app notes rather than live blogging.
ending of the gifted?!?! very very interesting that the director pointed out pang’s arrogance woah
so the second season was always going to happen, interesting. i sometimes consider just not watching second season cuz it seems like they’re just tacking it on after a finished story but nah this was planned
anyway i’ll have to watch punnclaire break up that’s so </3
Overall:
Interesting thus far! I liked how it went through each character’s journey and got us attached to them before tackling grander things. Episodes 4 and 5 were my favourite, I freaking love PunnClaire.
I think in some ways the writing/direction of the story is excellent while weak in others. I liked how it ended, though I would’ve been annoyed if I watched it with only season 1 available but I’ll be starting season 2 soon, so it’s fine. I think it’s just super interesting how the season kind of ended with them failing and the director harshly pointing out that Pang himself is arrogant, unequal, and unfair.
I’m interested to see how next season goes, I think it’ll be a lot more intense and also I’m dreading the PunnClaire breakup fr.
Rating: 7/10
Tiktoks:
PunnClaire scenes from season 1 (cr: stvyls)
Claire stopping Punn from harming himself in ep 5 (cr: ilyramida)
The Gifted: Graduation Live Blogging
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trung's Archive
A little bit about myself :DDDDDDDD
Hello everyone, my name is Trung Tran and welcome y'all to my blog. I am currently majoring in Public Health at Texas State University, and I take an art class to learn more about depth in things generally and would like to know how people see everything differently. All of the topics and themes that you are going to see soon are all what I find interesting, and they relate to our simple life. Sometimes I do not really focus on the details around me but as I take time to think further and start seeing the importance in them, I realize that they play a big part and create the little fun for us. The message I want to deliver is that things happen for a reason and let’s get encouraged to deal with all the circumstances and happiness will come for sure. I hope my audiences will have some sort of excitement when finishing my blog. Thank you!
Tell me if you don't like to TRAVEL ^^
I cannot remember when I start to love travelling. I used to really hate it because it made me get out of the house and drove with my family for a long time to get to where I unintentionally went to. I felt exhausted by doing so but as time goes by, I see numerous spectacles when I go around the U.S. It has caused me to feel eager to explore more cool places. My parents are a little surprised when I tell them I wish I could travel more because they heard enough of my complaints during previous trips. It’s just a bit boring when staying in one single location for a while and I no longer like it. It amazes me with the people in my chosen places as well as the air and the environment such as buildings, houses, shopping centers, festivals, and last but not least, the nature.
Myself ! Again :(:
I was born and raised in Vietnam. I lived there in 14 years and came to the U.S in 2016. I have come back to my motherland 3 times, and I am going again in 2024. I believe that everyone has a place where they call a real home, and they can live with their true self regardless of the judgement from others. Journeys and adventures are great and amazing, but nothing is more than spending time with the place that we love most. I tell my family and relatives that no matter where I go, I always miss them much and nothing can replace them. The farther we go in the society, the more we realize that there is unconditional love only from blood. All of the relationships we have are just temporary and it has to be a win-win thing. Nobody is willing to provide us free stuff and so are we, just family.
Are you a cat person?
YES, why not?
Family <3
Family is everything.
Night time studying
It is the life of college students !!!
Gift
Giving is caring and receiving is the feeling of being appreciated
0 notes
Text
many, many adventures
recently i have pioneered new ground. i have seen the sights of new territory, new lands, new feelings, new frames of mind, new rules, and new ways to view things that have been ingrained in me since the beginning of my time. it's been cool, but i am finding that it's also kind of hard. i shy away from hard stuff. not because i don't think i'm capable of figuring it out because i do think that i am very capable of figuring out stuff - i'm smart. but i shy away because it's hard and most times i'm not always up for the challenge. or a challenge that constantly tests me, jah feel?
one tangible adventure i just returned from was southern Italy. yes i ventured to my motherland (however Germany and Poland are also my motherlands) and it was amazing. the food, the people, the men, the scenes, the views, the food, that familiar longing Euro-feel that is applied to life over there. god it's the best, it's so refreshing! it's different than here though isn't it? it was weird but i was ready to leave when it was time to leave which is making me wonder about my ex-pat hopes and dreams. maybe i don't want to give everything i have here up but instead would love to be-bop in between all the places, spaces, and people i love? i honestly don't think that's too much to ask or hope for?
i want to write more about the other mind, body, heart adventures but i digress.......
0 notes
Photo
A R2I STORY: KHYATI THAKUR
Mrs. Khyati Thakur is currently working as a Senior Software Engineer at Inspirit.
She had moved to Los Angeles, USA, to pursue her Master’s in Computer Science, and had worked there for 9 years before moving back to India.
She has had a remarkable journey- personally and professionally. Khyati currently has over 10 years of experience working in the tech industry as a software engineer, engineering manager, and product manager and 7+ years of experience working as a K-12 curriculum creator. She has also worked as an educator in a non-profit in India.
The team at Global Talent Exchange got in touch with her recently, and she was gracious enough to tell us her story.
Khyati’s story is inspirational and conveys just how strong is the call of one’s motherland.
Read on!
Could you tell us a little bit about yourself?
I’m Khyati Thakur and I am currently living in Pune. I got my master’s degree from the University of Southern California (USC) and went on to work in the U.S. for a good 9 years as a software engineer. Over time, my husband and I realized we wanted to move back to India, and we’re here now!
A lot of your LinkedIn content revolves around your Return to India journey- could you elaborate on it?
When I first shifted to the US, I was sure that I wanted to come back and not settle there forever, as being close to my family is important to me. I met my husband at USC itself, and we both agreed that we would gain some experience in the US and then move to India. 2020 brought along the Covid pandemic, which delayed things for us. Finally, at the end of 2021, we decided to take the leap and relocate. I write about my journey to help others in a similar position take better decisions and understand how to go about the process.
What were the reasons that made you choose the US for higher education? How was life there- personally and professionally?
I think it was just because I was young and I wanted to explore how life would be in different countries. I was already working in India, and when I asked people how to accelerate my career to the next step, several recommended getting my masters from the US for exposure as well. The course content was great, I was working in a startup, and the work experience was good.
Though I was enjoying the way my life was shaping up, I always wanted to give back. When you’ve lived somewhere for so long, you are very connected to your roots, and family and you’re aware of the problems that exist. I even started working with non-profits in India while still in the US. I wanted to use my experience to build cool stuff for my people in India!
Apart from this, did you ever feel anything lacking in life while in the US?
Definitely. Of course, you can make some great friends in the US, and the colleagues are great, but nothing can even come close to the family and friends you have back home in India. It gets lonely very soon. It’s worse during festival time when you want to fly home with all your heart, but you can’t.
Covid was an extremely hard phase as well. Our parents got ill but we could not come back and take care of them due to the restrictions. It put things into perspective, and all the money that we were getting didn’t seem worth it any longer. The personal aspect overweighs the professional.
What was the “final trigger”? Why did you decide that this was the correct time to move back to India?
In my mind, I was ready to move way earlier than we actually did. Since at the time I was running my own startup, it was definitely easier for me to relocate. However, my husband was hesitant and wanted to explore more career opportunities before moving.
He did, in fact, land his dream job, but soon after, the work pressure increased massively. The question arose: What are we even doing this for, what is the purpose? We wanted to be close to our family and use our skills to help our country. This was the final trigger.
Would you say it can get difficult to find jobs across countries, and this search is what discourages NRIs from trying in the first place? What could make this process easier?
Certainly. It was difficult for me, for sure. After Covid, my startup started losing traction, and I was in the search of a job in India. When I was conducting a job search, I was certain about the fact that I needed to be compensated fairly.
India is booming right now, there are so many new startups that are solving real problems for the world. A majority of these companies are well funded and they are ready to pay handsome salaries because they want and need good talent. So, while it can be a little difficult to look for good jobs, it’s not impossible- you need to be patient and do your research. India is a silicon valley in the making- this is the place to be in right now.
What are some of the myths that would be debunked once NRIs return home? Do you think they still are envisioning an India that existed, perhaps, 10 years ago?
Most definitely- even I was holding on to such myths; the reality is very different. The job opportunities for sure to start with. I didn’t think it was possible to get such good salaries that are now possible. When we left India, the work culture was very different.
On a personal note, even the family scenario has changed. People are so much more liberal and there has been a major mindset shift and they are ready to accept new ideas- creativity is cherished! I thought I’m returning to the same old India, but that wasn’t the case. It’s not only our generation that has changed, even the older generation is more accepting and open-minded.
What message would you convey to other immigrants who might be considering a move back?
I would tell them about the career opportunities- there’s absolutely no shortage/limitation of them here. I would want to tell them that they can get paid just as much as they are in the US, but the interesting part is that they don’t need to. With just half of what they were getting paid in the US, they can lead an absolutely luxurious lifestyle in India. This is why even Silicon Valley VCs are looking for opportunities here and investing in the businesses.
On the personal front, I want to tell them that they will never be able to develop the kind of connections and relationships as they have in India. I understand it’s difficult to take the plunge, but it is so worth it.
Immigrants gain a lot of good exposure while working in the US. In what ways do you think they can leverage their experience to secure leading positions in India, and use their savings to lead a comfortable life?
NRIs can manage to save a lot of money. From my own experience, my husband and I were earning for just about 7 years, but when we moved back to India, we didn’t have to worry about finding work immediately. The amount that we saved was more than enough to sustain us for about 6-10 years even. We could sit back a bit and discover what we wanted to do further- such downtime is practically impossible in the US. Then again, the exposure you’ve gained can be utilized within the country as several companies would be willing to offer a lucrative salary for your expertise.
Once you finally moved back, how easy or difficult was it to settle down? Is that a major point of concern?
I would say it takes time to settle down. The weather could take you aback at first- India is a relatively hot country, but there are places with a cool environment as well. Also, the air quality and pollution could pose an issue, but this is where you came from and it doesn’t take extremely long for your body to adjust.
I think there are pros and cons to living in each country- you just have to prioritize. If you’re moving back to be close to your family and reconnect with your homeland, such problems hardly matter. Moreover, the food in India is so very fresh- be it vegetables, fruits, or milk. For example, in the US, we would get a massive 4-gallon jar of milk that would stay in our refrigerator for up to 2-3 weeks, which is extremely unhealthy. Here in India, we get fresh milk at our doorstep daily.
Global Talent Exchange is a new-gen recruitment platform that specializes in helping NRI talent access top-notch career opportunities back in India that are in alignment with their experience and current pay. Do you think if you’d been in contact with GTX during your own move, it would have eased the process and made the job search easier?
Definitely, it would have helped me massively. What GTX is doing is the need of the hour. Since I started writing my story on LinkedIn I’ve noticed several immigrants reaching out to me because they want to know what my experience was like and because they want to move back as well. Thus, I think this initiative is right on time.
If I had gone through GTX, it would have saved me a good 3-4 months and I wouldn’t have scrambled with finding the right opportunities.
0 notes
Text
Interviewing
Interviewing Vivian: I want to interview my friend Vivian Doan because we shared a similar background. I want to find out more about her, about her perspective and how her life has changed since moving to New Zealand -> why did she move? How did it change her? Did she regret moving? How did the place influence her as a person?I'm interested in her experience coming here and how she finds it. My questions will mainly be based on that.
Questions:
When and why did you move to NZ?
"I moved here at the start of 2016 when I was 11 years old."
Her family wants to give her a better opportunity by moving to NZ.
They originally come to drop her off for school in Year 9 but decided to stay and start up a family business.
What was the first impression and was there a big culture shock for you?
"I was excited to move but didn't expect to be in an all-girl school.'
"In Viet Nam, I got taught American English but ever since moving here I figured that American English was properly not the best fit in terms of the slang here. So I was a bit confused in terms of the slang and words that they used here that I've never come across when learning English in Viet Nam."
-> Did you find it difficult to fit in with the language barrier?
"Of course!! I moved here when I was little so my Vietnamese wasn't mature so when I was introduced to using English as my dominant language, I was quite stuck between two languages."
-> If you have to pick one which do you think is your main language?
"I would have to say English because I used it on daily basis at school when growing up. With friends and peoples."
How much do you think NZ has influenced you as a person? How have you changed?
"Honestly back then, I tried my best to fit in with the other kid at my school by becoming more westernized. So I would be accepted and fit in with the other kid at school. But I feel like the more I grow up the more I realised that I want to be connected with my culture and embrace it."
-> What did you do to fit in?
"My first step of becoming more westernized was to change my name to an English name "Vivian"
My Vietnamese name is "Doan Van Anh" but I changed it to Vivian because it's the closest to my Vietnamese name, it has letters and symbolises my Vietnamese name like "V" "A"
Do you regret it at all? If so why? Did you wish it was different?
"I don't think I have any regrets, instead, I think moving to NZ has helped me to grow as a person. Because I've been through the hard stuff, like trying to fit in and using a new language every day, things that I'm not used to. But because of that, I am now fluent in two languages which I find very helpful and cool."
-> Do you miss it back there, in Viet Nam?
"I think with the whole Covid situation, many of us have been in the same boat, like not being able to travel as the border is closed due to the pandemic. So then I wasn't able to visit Viet Nam in a while now and because of that, I feel like I'm disconnecting from my culture.
Reflection
Based on the interview I had with Vivian today. Here are some key ideas.
Vietnam -> Motherland
New Zealand -> Home
Stuck between two places and two languages
Disconnect, detachment
Fitting in
0 notes
Note
Hi, Lise......I can't help but want to ask (if you don't mind), what are your favorite (that you personally like) books or movies/ tv series that contains lesbias and gays? Thanks if you want to answer.....
wow I completely forgot this ask was sitting in my inbox and has been for a long while. and uhhhh the thing is here that I actually...feel like I don't have a separate category in my head, so much, for "media that has queer people in it" and "media that doesn't"? which like. feels weird to say, but when I get questions like this, or requests for recommendations, I always...struggle to parse these things out. and also to parse out, for instance, "books that read as having queer elements" from "books with explicitly queer characters."
but I guess if I'm gonna try...most of these are going to be books, with a few exceptions.
BOOKS
Doctrine of Labyrinths is a four book series that comes stamped with a whole list of content warnings (rape and child abuse chief among them, probably) but is also one of my favorite series of all time, so, you know.
The Masquerade series by Seth Dickinson also comes with a big "IT'S SAD. IT'S SAD AND DARK" warning, along with content warnings for serious societal homophobia, but is another one of my favorite series of all time. it's not that I hate happy queer stories or anything, I just tend to like stories that aren't happy
The Locked Tomb Trilogy by Tasmyn Muir which you've probably heard about by now, but honestly I think the common tagline of "lesbian necromancers in space" really doesn't...cover it? It's funny, it's weird, it's unique in terms of setting, story, and magic system, it's doing some very interesting things and I can't wait to find out where Muir is going with it. it's very much stylistically not something that's going to work for everyone, but I would recommend giving it a go and finding out if it works for you.
I loved the series by Lara Elena Donnelly that starts with Amberlough, but that one's definitely Rise of a Fascist State and therefore might not be everyone's cuppa right at the moment.
Oh, Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie is very queer, not in terms of, like, "these characters are explicitly gay" but more in terms of what she's doing with gender. I don't know that I'd say it's a central part of the book but it's an important enough piece of the worldbuilding at least that I'd put it here. I don't actually remember, textually, but Machineries of Empire also feels very queer to me in a similar sort of way. A queer theory sort of way, maybe? idk.
this one's a sort of...not for me exactly but it was cool rec, but The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon was very classic fantasy in a lot of ways, but gay, and with some fresh twists on old tropes.
COMICS
The Wicked and the Divine by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie. look, it's just really good and not just for the queer. I need to do a reread from the top.
TV
I am really enjoying Motherland: Fort Salem actually, which I feel like people either aren't aware of or watch the first couple episodes and get turned off, but. one of the three main characters is lesbian, and sticks her hand down another girl's pants in like. the second episode? maybe even the first one, I don't remember.
Person of Interest doesn't introduce its gay until later in the series, but if you're anything like me as far as what you want in relationship dynamics you're in for a treat.
Yes, it is an animated children's show, but She-Ra and the Princesses of Power gave me such a gift it still makes me emotional because I'm going like. is this what it feels like to get what I want, canonically, in a piece of media? wow.
look, I'm putting The Untamed on here because (a) it is based on a gay webnovel and is pretty fucking gay considering the limits of censorship, everybody in the cast knows it and is playing it, and (b) some of the secondary relationships come off, I would argue, even gayer in the live action, probably because there are actor people putting them right in front of your face. (because the discourse is what it is: censorship isn't progressive, etc., but this is my list and I'm putting MDZS on here too.)
THOSE CHINESE WEBNOVELS I WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT
like, seriously. I mean, look, they take some work getting into because reading works in translation that come from a culture that you (general Anglophone you) may or may not be familiar with on one level or another actually does come with having to learn some shit and get used to some new things about genre and style, and reading webnovels maybe even more so, but as far as I'm concerned it's worth it.
so far the ones I've read are (titles in English, with common abbreviation, mostly from the Chinese) Heaven Official's Blessing (TGCF), Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS), Scum Villain's Self Saving System (SVSSS), The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (erha or 2HA), and (still finishing but at this point feel pretty comfy recommending) Clear and Muddy Loss of Love (JWQS).
there are several others on my list that I've had recommended and just haven't gotten to yet. my favorites personally are probably TGCF and 2HA, but I'm pending a reread of MDZS with a different translation to do my final assessment there and JWQS is giving me a lot of very good shit.
(I feel like I have to mention, because I'd be remiss if I didn't while I'm talking about ~personal preferences~, that the Coldfire Trilogy is astonishingly queer in my memory for one of the central relationships although it's been years since I read it, admittedly, and the Lymond Chronicles which is a series I love dearly is also incredibly queer, particularly for a series written in the 60s, and is like. juuuuust barely shy of having a canonically bisexual protagonist. and does have an explicitly lesbian secondary character, though fair warning, she, uh, does have it pretty rough.)
there's also some books that didn't make it on here even though they have queer characters because I felt like the queerness of those characters was not really key to the story, for instance the Broken Earth Trilogy by N.K. Jemisin, which is fantastic in its own right and I would recommend to everyone, but didn't quite feel like it fit this post.
I'm almost certainly forgetting stuff, but I did my best.
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Motherland Fort Salem 2x02 Thoughts & Feelings
- The realization that Abigail isn’t actually part of The Weird Mushroom Explosion, that it was all Raelle... folks, it gutted me. I guess it makes sense, and they’re obviously going to do something interesting with it - Abigail who wanted so badly to be Powerful & Special VS Raelle who didn’t even want this in the first place - and I’m all for conflict but oof. I was invested in the concept of a ~power that works because of both of them honestly, and I’m a tad disappointed? They better give Abigail a BIG WIN at the end of the season. Like, they can’t give Tally her true sight + connection with Alder, and Raelle her Crazy Healing Abilities + new mycellium related power, and then have Abigail just... makes storms... Or if they do, they’re going to have to sell it to me in a way that feels FAIR to Abigail.
- That said, I did love our introduction to War College. New instructors! That non-canon class was super cool and a great way to showcase Tally’s abilities and how far the army will go to teach them valuable skills.
- Also Alder and Izadora manipulating Raelle and Abigail like that was great and horrible and ruthless. And the ways the three girls react so differently to this... oh, I am sensing some possible tension in our unit.
- Pretty intrigued by this mysterious soldier from Tally’s visions/dreams. This is going to link to the Spree, right?
- Mentor!Tally is cute! Tally crushing hard on a milf for the first time is relatable! All around a great Tally episode.
- Award for best scenes go to Anacostia and Scylla’s shenanigans. Oh this was SUPER JUICY stuff - Anacostia playing on Scylla’s burgeoning remorse and emotions! Tricking her into working together! And they are both so GOOD at playing a role, at spying, at lying, and yet, deliciously, they can see right through each other! God what a fantastic duo.
- Still kinda meh on Raelle’s mother overall - not convinced by her character at all. Same with the VP’s daughter.
99 notes
·
View notes
Note
Would you say that the rise of kpop Boy groups and Kdramas (specifically actors) Has had an effect on men in SK and men the Korean diaspora in the west and their sense of emasculation against whiteness like you said? Of course a lot of how non-Koreans specifically white ppl/white women’s interaction with kpop is very racist, fetishistic, etc but I would assume that it would “alleviate” that feeling in a way (?). Or maybe bc these are public figures and they represent like the ideal and unattainable standards so it creates an even bigger feeling of inadequacy? For ex a lot of men of color in diasporas very much tap into their objectification by white women to gain a false sense of power over the women and lgbt members of their communities but that might not be true for the men in the motherland so I’m wondering if something similar has happened in South Korea and abroad? Sorry I’m trying to use the right language just so I’m making sense haha
this is many many questions put into one question anon this might get long. also totally understand what ur saying i'm not speaking negatively about u at all just trying to be clear!
1. i think ur asking if the popularity of korean media in the west/wider global entertainment sphere is affecting politics but there's an inherent othering in ur phrasing, u have to specify cuz for korea they're dance pop singers and actors they've been our entertainers.
2. idols and actors are of completely different statuses as entertainers in sk. korean male actors tend to be very cool and masculine with a prestige status in entertainment while kpop is seen as lowbrow with a younger audience. the gap is getting smaller because so many idols are also brilliant actors now but there's a sense of becoming a full time actor (dramas, movies, musicals) being a step up in career maturity as opposed to the vibrant youth and varied activities of an idol. and the increase in fans of kdramas was relatively slow and steady compared to the very loud and sudden US interest in kpop.
3. kpop stuff in general has pretty small bearing on south korean gender conversations (but a big positive impact for esp younger sk lgbt people). conservative korean men have always looked down on kpop because of the usual reasons people don't like pop music (it's not real music, it's shallow, it's too flashy, it's childish, etc). and for male idols it's usually mild homophobia too. most korean men don't identify with them at all, idols are idols. korean men (besides those interested in music, dance, etc) generally don't see the way intl fans talk about idols because they're not interested. bts becoming huge in the US is more like a lucrative export to cash into for a lot of people.
4. for diaspora the impact is a little bigger because idols r the most visible korean people widely talked about in internet spaces and it's hard to avoid talk about it on places like twitter where kpop stuff is trending constantly. the huge increase in white female attention to idols and all korean people being compared to idols is a little freaky. one of my korean mutuals had someone comment "says the person with a kpop icon" on their political tweet when it was a selfie of his own korean face it was so weird. also like there's always been a lot of "kpop is gay" sentiment from the diaspora mainstream.
but like honestly i'm not really plugged into the south korean internet or talking to like. the many many groups of people in south korea esp men so i can't really tell u definitively what's going on with that. i really don't even know what korean american men r up to. what's more harmful and more easily identifiable from my side is what i was talking about before, that korean diaspora men are being recruited through the purposeful reactions to kpop journalism that uphold US racial fascism because kpop is becoming one of the biggest korean media phenomenons in the western internet sphere. it's a tokenizing tool for the state media apparatus and convinces korean americans their own internalized lies about korea is correct. such as bts going to the un and accepting awards named after war criminals that slaughtered koreans. or reinforcing the idea that korean music will always be tacky and lesser than white industry music. that south korea is primitive and backwards compared to a progressive US. and on twitter u can see what's going on in kpop all the time through trends and memes spreading so when a fascist misogynistic ilbe social media campaign works they have a much farther quicker reach and are right now reaching the diaspora more than ever.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
SiriusXM at Super Bowl LVI. Had a bang on time. Always cool to do events with my SiriusXM family.
For those inquiring why I was doing Sirius stuff to begin with; I work for SiriusXM when I’m not under commitment with Violent Bounce. I also am part of the partnership between Octane and Radiorock, as I work for both, to bridge the best metal from the motherland of metal and rock with the best rock and metal station on the planet in Octane. It’s really cool stuff. So yeah. Check it out sometime. I have a show on Octane that I do every weekend even when I’m on tour. 🤘🏻 It’s syndicated with Radiorock so if you’re in Finland you can still catch it. I do it in English but upload audio to the Octane/Radiorock website in Finnish for non-English speaking fans x
Yeah the white jacket was a decoy btw. I absolutely did not wear white to my Sirius commitments 😂
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
What are Tiger and Bill’s plans for Midsommer today ? I imagine they would be with the whole skarsgard fam on the glorious day. Also love it when you write stuff with the whole fam. I’d get small af if I was around not just Bill but all of them , obviously since they’re all giants , but also because I feel like they’d all have some protective nature over Tiger. Just since she’s the smallest out of all of them haha
Not gonna lie sweet nani, Misommar yesterday really bummed me out. I was so emotional all day, because this is the second year in a row that I'm missing it. And last year, when I spoke to my friends, we were all just like "ha well at least next year is a guarantee!" and then like...here we are.
My friends all went out to Väddö and rented these small cottages side by side, right on the sea. They sent me pictures all day, they FaceTimed me--and man, they did it so that I'd feel included, but it almost made it worse. It tore my heart in two, and just gave me serious FOMO. Midsommar in Sweden is by far my most favourite holiday and missing it again this year just kind of pushed me into the dark depths of why bother and nothing is worth it.
I think it's also exacerbated by the fact that I'm still a little mad at Sweden. I live in one of the areas that underwent the strictest lockdown and for the longest time. I didn't see my parents or my sister in person for about 9 months, and even then, after 9 months WE got fed up and nothing made sense so we started gathering illegally, for the sake of our mental sanity. Everything was closed. We weren't allowed to do anything. Going through that while seeing Sweden basically carry on life as usual is still the cause of a lot of my ire.
Wow, this got dark.
ANYWAY.
I want to say that Midsommar for tiger and Bill isn't even in the archipelago--no no, the whole family has a better idea. They rent a whole bunch of chalets way the fuck in Northern Sweden, where the night stays REAL bright. Maybe in Suorva or something.
And it's just so swedish. Small red cottages, evergreens, deep blue lakes. The cottages are minimalist and just so fucking beautiful, with white walls and white furniture. The bed creaks a little, but it's also covered in warm blankets and furs for the cool nights, and the fresh air knocks both of them out each night anyway.
And then Midsommar comes and it's just...god, it's magical. All of them seem very intent on making sure that tiger has a perfectly Swedish Midsommar, but also just a perfect Midsommar. She's taken out into the fields to pluck flowers. She's shown how to make a flower crown, and when she excitedly shows Bill he just smiles so big at her, then places it gently on her head for her. She wears a pretty dress with flowers on it, too. A huge table is set in the garden while the brothers put up the Maypole, and tiger admires how well it all comes together--floral centrepieces, chairs lined up perfectly, big baskets of fruits, the most delicious looking strawberry cream cakes that tiger has ever seen. One brother is suspiciously missing from helping to put the Maypole up and when tiger goes looking for some table linens she spots Gustaf in the back of the pantry, hidden from view, eating the pickled herring right from the jar. He gives her a mischievous smirk, waves her over, fixes her a crisp bread just right.
There's a slight uproar when the family notices that suddenly they are 3 jars short of pickled herring. Gustaf just winks at tiger.
There's akvavit--too much of it. Tiger shyly asks one of the smaller kiddie cousins to teach her the frog dance around the Maypole, and Bill is just delighted when he sees her do it. Midsommar fort he Skarsgards is not about huge, loud parties--it's about family, good food, endless food, and staying up all night to relish in the beauty of the motherland. When dusk takes over for a brief while the chairs are set up on the dock, surrounding a bonfire. More food is brought out, and tiger thinks she may just explode--until Bill hands her a tiny glass, pours a splash of akvavit into it.
"Just sip it," he says, "Helps with the digestion."
She quirks a brow as he pours some for himself, but he shoots his back.
"Just sip it?" she says.
"Swedes don't sip."
And it's just magical in every way. They only get back to their small cottage around 7AM, and they both just fall into bed. Bill wraps them up tight in blankets, his big hand rubbing her stomach, and it's the best sleep tiger has had in years--until she’s jolted awake when Bill jumps up.
“I forgot,” he mumbles, stumbling out of bed and getting her flower crown. He undoes a few flowers.
“Hey--” she objects sleepily--”I want to keep that.”
“Seven flowers,” he says, carefully picking out 7 different kinds from the crown and handing her the small bouquet, “You have to sleep with seven flowers under your pillow, and you’ll dream about your soulmate.”
“Don’t have to pal,” she says like the big sap she is, “But if you insist.”
They wake up hours later and both are a little hungover (from food AND liquor), both have that residual sleepy fog that is just so lovely after a great night. They're also the first ones up even though it's well into the afternoon--so Bill gets the fire going again, pulls some chairs around it. He wraps tiger up in another blanket and sits her right on his lap, hands her some coffee--and they just stay like that, drifting in and out of sleep, until slowly but surely the chairs fill up and it's somehow time to eat again.
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just wanted to say thank you for indulging my inquiry. Since the show premiered and seed sounds were introduced in the universe, I’ve always been curious about their parallelisms with real world stuff so I greatly appreciate it! I wish Eliot would just give us a full list of the 61 seed sounds already! Also love your page and it’s the perfect space for me to geek!!
Thank you for such the interesting question! We are all anxiously awaiting the text book series detailing the entire Motherland universe from Eliot. Seed sounds. History. Menishe. We want them all. Someone last season had been cataloging the seeds and magic classes, creating a very cool resource [link], but this world is so rich and intricate; there is so much left for us to learn.
So happy you're enjoying the page - we totally appreciate geeking out!
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
thanks @stanfordsweater for tagging me, i love these silly little things haha!
Fave food: sun-dried tomatoes in oil, i swear i can eat them straight from the jar and be happy. also, falafel. if it's a roll that has falafel and dried tomatoes in it, chances are i'll ascend
Fave color: dark teal, and the whole of the darker blue-green spectrum. i love the cool-wet feel and muted shades!
Favorite singer/band: the all-encompassing favourite is 65daysofstatic, but i listen to tons of stuff so it's not representative haha
my current on-repeat includes:
the newest Amenra album, De Doorn
the newest Alessandro Cortini album, Scuro Chiaro
Portico Quartet's Terrain
the one released track from the upcoming The Body & Big Brave collab, Leaving None But Small Birds
Dream place to live: anywhere a little less hellish than where i am. what can i say, it's bleak here in motherland ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
generally: a reasonably big european city, doesn't get hellfire hot in summer, plenty of green spaces and enough gigs happenning (if the gigs ever come back, that is)
Dream goal in life: oh man, tmi even for my oversharing ass! i think most of my goals hinge on taking care of my mental health and building confidence though, i can figure the rest out from there :)
Fave crystal: do people have fave crystals? no idea
Dream collab: don't think i'm too good at those haha. will always be happy to do whatever with @thegoodthebadandtheart but that's old news
Dream date: don't think i'm too good at those either! but i'm sure a music-related opinion exchange and a long walk would be involved
Current aesthetic: do people have current aesthetics? i wouldn't know, sorry!
the really embarrassing part is this, where i admit i don't really have mutuals i'm friendly with enough for tagging! maybe @redmyeyes and @decadent-prince, if that's your kind of thing, folks
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Odi et Amo II
Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior
Catullus, 85
After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?
pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader
genre: actor au
warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)
words: 5764
A/N: It was supposed to be published last week, but I was unhappy with it and ended up rewriting it/adding some things. Sorry! (*_ _)人
P.S Sorry for my grammatical errors!
Enjoy!
Chapter I
***
Currently sitting in front of your manager you eyed him. He seemed tired and you felt a pang of conscience it was probably because of your tweets last night and you wouldn’t even think of meeting him if you weren’t in dire need of getaway from the uncomfortable conversation with your neighbor. You didn’t meet in your agency’s building since both of you despised the place even though it was a new and flashy building made out of something that looked like a white marble. Both of you agreed on meeting outside it, so you were sitting in the café nearby while wondering how did your shitty boss manage to rent it. Last time you’ve been here, it was a few rooms in shabby, old building. You shivered while imagining going in, that place had an evil aura even from across the street.
"Where did you get all that money to rent it?" you asked.
"We actually bought it."
"Well, business goes well then."
"Actually we are only able thanks to your movies. Don’t tell Kim Pd-nim I told you, he thinks you'll become arrogant."
"I already am." You smiled coldly.
"That's what I told him."
Your manager had a sarcastic smirk on. Both of you and hated your CEO and even mentioning him would bring up unpleasant memories. Kim Sanghoon was one of those bosses who wouldn't even think about trying to help idols and stars that were bringing him money. No matter what it was — crazy fans destroying your life, death threats, your collapsing mental health he didn’t care. Once you were attacked by media and netizens you were on your own and if it was too much for the company your contract was terminated. You often wondered when would you become too much for them to handle.
"How do you feel?" Your manager caught you off guard, even though you had known each other for a long time there was an unspoken rule between you not to talk about other things than work.
"Honesty..I'm fine I don't understand why everyone asks me that." You huffed a bit irritated and run fingers through your hair.
"Well it's just.. I know it was important to you and you worked hard to earn the hearts of your Korean fa..."
"I'm fine." you didn't manage to hide irritation in your voice. You were not used to talking about it and you didn't like it one bit. Besides what were you supposed to say anyway? No one else was as hated as you. Of course there were idols and stars that were occasionally criticized but not one of them was constantly a target of such hatred. Even when you left there were still death threats send from your motherland to you, nothing changed. Not to mention no one else got such welcoming on the day of return to their home. It was unfair, stupid, infuriating and saddening. And yet you couldn’t understand what people were expecting of you? Both Mark and your manager knew you, or so you thought. What were you supposed to do? Cry? You wouldn't cry, that was what weak people do, that would show you actually care about what those assholes think about you. You were just fine. Ok. Neither sad nor happy. You'd endure whatever you had to but you won't conform to their image of idol and woman nor will you show any sign of weakness. You'd rather stay hated than do that. Your manager sighed and it pulled you out of your thoughts.
"Well then. If you're okay then I'm glad. So just as I told you I have this drama for you if you're interested." You weren't the slightest bit. Frankly you'd rather stay in bed for the next three months jobless than play some crazy villain or villainous second female lead. Then again you felt bad about the amount of work he probably had because of you. You looked him in the eyes and answered with a sigh.
"I can't promise anything but I can at least listen what it’s about.." Your manager seemed surprised, but he didn't wait long, perhaps in case you'd change your mind. He took out some papers and handed them to you. You cringed on the sole title "Love is your destiny" — it sounded sappy.
"So it's a love story between fallen angel and this human..." he started.
"Angels...so who do they want me to play? Satan? Devil? Succubus?" You browsed through pages to find the villain.
"You'd know if you'd let me finish." You sent him a small apologetic smile. "They want you to play the main role." You stared at him confused before you burst with laughter.
"They want me to play cute girl in love with the angel?" The idea of you playing the sweet female lead was absurd, not that you weren’t able to do it, you were a good actress it wouldn’t be a problem for you, if anything it would most likely be a challenge for the audience.
"No, no! You'd play the angel. See this is drama with strong female lead. The origin of your character is fascinating. You had to watch the mistreatment of a woman extremely devoted to god. The lady prayed, but she still got beaten, almost killed even. Moreover, you had to be the guardian angel of her torturer — the aggressive husband. You pleaded to god, you asked him to let you guard her instead, but he didn’t agree and forbade you from intervening. One night when the husband got drunk, he beat her unconscious and you were sure he’d kill her. You decided to save her, you kill her husband and this is the moment when you fell. That's when you became deviant and promised yourself you'd help those who were denied it. You’d protect them and avenge them. Fast-forward a thousand years, and we are in Seoul and you meet a man, a painter..." He was so excited you almost didn't understand some words because of the speed. He was waiting for your response but you were too occupied with reading what he handed you. Once you finished it you looked at him with a mix of surprise and excitement.
"It's like it was made for me.." you said with bewildered tone.
"That's because it was made for you. The screenwriter wrote it with you in mind." You looked like a cartoon character, eyes wide, mouth in a shape of letter "o", once you heard him.
"Me?"
"Yes. She is apparently a big fan."
"And tvN is ok with that?" You furrowed your brows confused.
"Perhaps they aren't. But it is co-production with Netflix, and they pushed for you since you’re popular worldwide."
Your heart fluttered and the tips of your fingers tingled from excitement as you rummaged through the pages once again, not only it would be showed in TV during the prime-time but also streamed on Netflix weekly.
"The screenwriter and producer kept calling me since yesterday as soon as it was known you came back. They almost cast someone else. They were sure you're staying in the USA. Isn't it amazing?" He was as excited as you were and you felt some remorse for being so rude to him before. You gave him your warmest smile, one you usually used only around Mark and your family.
"It really is. Thank you and I'm sorry for being rude earlier." He was clearly uncomfortable with your apology, red spreading on his cheeks as he waved his hand dismissively.
"Ah don't mention it. Does that mean I can call them and say you are interested." You looked at the pages in front of you once again and smiled broadly before simply saying.
"Yes!"
Jinyoung was still amused you threatened him in his own café. He couldn't focus on the book he had in his hands anymore as he chuckled replying your angered and irritated expressions in his head. It was fun to tease you because you reacted so well. He could tell you could be great friends if you'd let him. He smiled to himself mouthing your own words "bloody Y/N". He was truly shocked that he met you here of all places and found it rather amusing when you yelled in English and caught his attention. He felt some disappointment upon seeing a half naked man talking to you from the screen of your phone but the feeling disappeared as quickly as it came up once your friend ended the call. Jinyoung wouldn't call himself a noisy person, but he found you interesting, and he wanted to know who it was and what kind of relationship you had although he rarely cared for stuff like this... His thoughts were interrupted by his ring-tone, BamBam's face illuminated the screen. He sighed but answered it anyway.
"Skrrrt, skrrt!"
"Ah yes, good morning to you to Bam." Jinyoung said in amused tone.
"Oh, hyung you seem in good mood. What you're up to?"
"Reading, thinking."
"Sounds boring wanna hang out?"
"Actually I wanted to ask you about something." Jinyoung ignored his question once he remembered how obsessed with celebrities and their styles Bam was.
"Shoot."
"Do you know any celebrities under the name Y/N." BamBam laughed wholeheartedly.
"That's very funny hyung."
"What do you mean?"
"OMG you're not joking! Are you living under a rock, hyung? Y/N is like the hottest actress ever. Her style is chic and comfy and artsy it's really cool, and she actually doesn't have a stylist, she does it on her ow..."
"She is an actress?"
"She is the actress! She played the White Fox in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Lol, you call yourself an actor and you don't know the most popular Korean actress abroad."
"You know I don't like those superheroes movies. Besides why didn't I hear about her Korean career if she's so good?"
"You are so old it scares me sometimes. Well you should know her from internet. I think it's national sport to hate her or something. She just came back, and they're already frying her online not to mention the media and dating rumors."
"Dating rumors?"
"Yeah she dated few actors. I think Seojoon hyung dated her and Changwook hyung even almost proposed. The media made her to look like heartless vixen though. I mean they never liked her but her last ex gave a very unfavorable interview to dispatch and after that she became villain number one. She left shortly after."
"Mmmm... I see." Jinyoung only started his career four years ago so it shouldn't be weird you've never met before. He was also the type of person who couldn't care less about internet gossip and gutter press or dispatch. He sighed. Suddenly your angry reaction made much more sense and Jinyoung didn't feel as good about it as he did before. He scolded himself for being too frivolous and selfish. He just wanted to see your reactions - it was cute and funny...
"Why did you ask? OMG you've met her didn't you. I'm so jealous. What was she wearing? Was it Gucci? I heard she likes it."
"Ok Bam. I have to go. Thanks for the talk."
"Wait, so you wanna hang out?"
"Last time when you asked me to hang out I had to shop for 4 hours with you."
"Well... I am your stylist. Besides, it was fun, come on."
"I think we have different definitions of "fun""
You woke up to no noise pleasantly surprised. It seems that Sunday's were free from renovation and thanks to that you could sleep in. You stretched out and grabbed the phone to check the time. It was already past eleven. You smiled to yourself and fell to bed lazily. Soon you wouldn't have time for lazy days like this as the production team was supposed to finish up casting for the drama by the end of the next week. You thought about picking some groceries, maybe cooking yourself some food and enjoying the day with a book or perhaps some video games. You took shower and put on some comfortable clothes — beige cardigan you stole from Mark clearly too big for you and some black trousers pairing it up with brown coat. You left the apartment and as soon as you did the irritating voice in your head reminded you about your debt. Hesitant at first you shook off the feeling quickly and knocked on the door. This time you were prepared for teasing, you were expecting it even so you wouldn't be caught off guard. At least that's what you were telling yourself. Your neighbor, however, didn't act the way you expected him to. Instead of smirking at you and teasing you or straight up mocking you, he seemed nervous. He had deep purple bags under his usually sparkling eyes. Perhaps he didn’t feel well... you wondered whether you should ask him if he needed some help. You decided it would be extremely awkward and so you cleared your throat and spoke up — softness now somewhere in your voice.
"Is that bad time? I can come later I just wanted to give you back your money.."
"N-No." He started nervously "I mean no. It's fine. I'm actually glad you're here. Would you come in?"
You didn't want to come in and it must have shown on your face since he continued.
"Come on. I don't bite." He smiled warmly and it seemed much more normal than the timid self he showed you seconds ago. And so you came in curiously looking around his own apartment. It was a mirror image of your own in terms of room placements — a hallway leading to living room with opened kitchen. You came into the living room and Jinyoung rushed after you quickly turning the TV off. You didn't pay it any mind since you were looking around and taking in how different was his home compared to yours. It was very modern and yet it kept the homey feeling. Yours on the other hand, well it was raw yet full of stuff? Mark would probably call it unfinished and cluttered. Your neighbor sat on the other side of the couch leaving quite a lot of space between the two of you and run a hand through his hair. He wore a cardigan very similar to yours both in color and style in fact it could be the very same brand and style it’s just neither of you noticed it.
"So what did you want to talk about?"
"I wanted to apologize." He responded quickly and gained a surprised look from you.
"Apologize?"
"Yes about yesterday…I shouldn't have said those things in public I could say I just didn't know about your situation but it’s no excuse. I’m truly sorry." he paused. "You don't have to be stressed about press or rumors though. It is my café and my staff, so they won't talk about it with anyone I took care of it." You took back everything you said, you weren’t prepared for meeting him, especially not getting apologies from him. On top of that he was the owner of your favorite café...
"I… it's fine." You said confused and tried to act as normal as possible while being very aware of your palms spread on your thighs. They were unnaturally clammy. It was a surprise to you, you rarely got any apologies and you were expecting some more teasing not something like that. Your eyes were everywhere except on him and you were screaming at yourself internally to say something, anything, but nothing was coming to your mind. Once again you lost your ability for forming witty sentences around him or in that case any sentences. There was awkward silence between you and you immensely regretted coming to see him today. You weren’t used to this. Somewhere in your belly you could feel as if butterflies - or rather moths — yes, moths of anxiety were fluttering their wings desperately trying to get into your chest. You never felt like this before. You tried to avoid looking at him but your own eyes betrayed you and fell on Jinyoung only to find out he was enjoying your anguish. His brown eyes were glimmering and his lips formed half smirk that he tried to cover with his left hand in a gesture of propping his head up. Immediately irritation came to you burning all the fluttering wings in the pits of your stomach. A frown formed on your face and you send him a glare. Wondering how could you be so stupid and fall for his act.
"You're really cute when you're shy or embarrassed." He chuckled now mocking you openly.
"I can't believe I took your apologies as sincere." He chuckled again clearly pleased with how you responded.
"They were sincere. I just enjoy teasing you."
"Could you stop? That's inappropriate you don't even know me."
"What do you mean we are neighbors and soon to be friends." He smiled broadly and for a second your mind travelled somewhere else simply admiring his beauty. You cursed his handsome face it could blind and charm everyone really. You wanted to leave, no you needed to leave. It was stuffy in here.
"I'm here for a reason." You reminded him, he was watching you with amusement. It felt almost as if a cat was observing you.
"Ah right... money." his tone seemed inattentive somehow. "I don't need it. Let's say it was a part of my apology."
"Just give me your account number and take the money."
"I don't remember it." You were getting more irritated every minute you talked to him.
"You don't remember your account number?" This man was unbelievable. He shrugged.
"You can send it to me through KakaoTalk if you really want." He smiled and took out the phone from the pocket of his pants.
"Fine. Just give it." Not wanting to spend any second longer here with him, you scanned his qr to add him quickly and transferred the money.
"Done. Now if you excuse me."
"Of course." He smiled again and you felt mocked by the sole action of his lips shooting upwards. He walked you to the door and watched as you slipped on your shoes. You tried to look as cold and dignified as possible but still tripped over the doorstep. He caught your arm firmly and straightened you. Your heart was beating so fast and hard all you could hear was blood pumping in your ears in fact you were sure he could hear it as well. On the other hand whose heart wouldn't when you almost fell face first, right…? Right? It surely wasn't because of his warm breath now tickling the crown of your head, nor the dangerously beautiful eyes... you absolutely regretted coming here today. It was foolish of you to think your cursed neighbor wouldn't shake you up today. And he was still holding you — how awkward is that; and you felt fine with being hold like that — what on earth was wrong with you? You started to think that maybe it would be better if you'd actually fell and hit that stupid head of yours.
Jinyoung was having very dangerous thoughts. The kind he didn't have in a very long time. He wasn't prepared for this kind of proximity. He was already shaken up yesterday by your touch and closeness he only held your hand for a second or two. Maybe he didn't show it but he was. Honestly he wasn't even into PDA or flirting with someone or even thinking of flirting with someone. Yes, he liked teasing, and he teased you but it was in a FRIENDLY manner. Well it was safe to say he didn't have friendshippy type of thoughts right now. Jinyoung reacted automatically upon seeing you fall he just grabbed your arm and pulled you his way. He was still holding your now tensed muscles, but he couldn't let go of you. He was in trance. Your warmth radiating onto him, the way the smell of your shampoo was tingling his nose, your huge doe-like shocked eyes, parted lips, soft pink on the apples of your cheeks. He was wondering how badly would you kill him if he asked to kiss you right now. He was seriously considering it worthy asking even if you were to pull out his tongue like you threatened yesterday. He didn't ask though, the rational part of his brain finally letting go of you. His own feeling were mess, but he did what he knew best — he masked his emotional disarray with some more teasing hoping you wouldn’t notice.
"Falling for me already?" He smirked even though internally he was screaming and already thinking of confiding in Jackson to get himself calmed. He was clearly the one falling and he was panicked. You rolled your eyes on him seemingly gaining the composure while he was getting stunned even by such simple gesture like this.
"You're way below my standards." You seemed annoyed. He smiled again although he wanted you to leave quickly and leave him alone with his feelings, so he can sort this out. Your eyes narrowed at him even more.
"I need to go now."
"Well, have a great day."
"Right, you too." You were so cold Jinyoung almost chuckled at it because it almost wounded him, and yet he liked it. He enjoyed teasing you too much. You were already walking to the elevator, but he couldn't help himself.
"Oh, and try not to fall when I'm not around to catch you, Y/N." He laughed and you were already frowning at him absolutely mad which made his heart skip a beat, you were really too cute when you frowned. Jinyoung closed the door before you could say anything or worse before he did. He realized he was in deep shit. He tried to think reasonably. He probably just had a crush because he spent a whole night watching movies and dramas you were starring in, he might have also accidentally watched all of your interviews and went to sleep at 6 still smiling to himself from that interview where you had to answer questions about your body in preparation for your role in that Marvel movie. The reporter wouldn't stop asking about your body and making comments on it even though you were clearly uninterested in the topic which you finally cut with your own questions. "Are you looking for some weight loss tips? You look great. Seriously what is it about? Are you trying to fit in my suit?" The last question was asked with whole whisper theatrics and Jinyoung laughed at loud at five am hoping he didn't wake you up through the wall. The suit in question was extremely fitting white leather catsuit. It wasn't the only interview in which you showed off your wits, eloquence and badassness, or how Bam would call it "swag". You were also the most attractive actress he had seen. Of course, you were also attractive when you weren't acting but on the screen... you were amazing. So Jinyoung tried to calm himself down rationalizing his earlier thoughts as simply being starstrucked. That’s what fans felt towards their idols, he was simply charmed by his own new idol. Yes that was it — that’s exactly the type of thoughts some fanboys or fangirls would have. He called Jackson anyway, he knew the designer was the right person to talk to in situations like this.
Twenty minutes later Jinyoung regretted ever calling his best friend.
"OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO IN LOVE WITH HER!" Jackson basically yelled to the phone. Jinyoung groaned and massaged the space between his brows.
"Were you even listening? I'm just a big fan."
"Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night man. I’m a big fan of Christian Dior and all I can think of is making out with him."
"Don’t compare it, he is dead!" Jinyoung yelled and his friend filled his ear in response.
You were regretting not taking the car for shopping. The walk did help with your racing heart, and helped ease off your mind but it turned out the supermarket isn't that close any more when you have to drag home ten bags of food and products. Thankfully a convenience store was on your way so you could make a stop there maybe you'd be lucky enough to see Seoyun, buy her coffee and have a chat. You knew it was stupid, because she could've just feel obliged to say she is your fan but you still wanted to tell her about your new upcoming role. Sadly she wasn't there and so you just made a stop and sat on one of nearby benches. Massaging your palms that had those harsh red lines imprinted in them now thanks to the bags. You could swear you heard the sound of released shutter and so now alarmed you looked around but it seemed you were the only person here. You sighed, how paranoid have you become that you started hearing the cameras when there was none. Then again you were extremely lucky dispatch and paparazzi haven't found you yet. Just before you left to the USA, your ex gave this interview and your life became hell. You didn't have a day without paparazzi running after you or spying on you. The memories came to you not without acrimony and hurt. Your ex, an actor just like you, used you to create scandal and gain some popularity. You could remember how enraged and morose it made you. You didn't date anyone since then even when Mark tried to introduce you to some people. You intended on staying that way. You didn't need anyone, you had Mark, and he was enough for you. Just you and your best friend. You weren't sure how long you stayed like this, deep in your thoughts. You moved only after you fingers became stiff from cold. Somehow you managed to carry the groceries back home. You were so tired that you just counted it as your training today. You checked the time and it was one PM, perfect time to call your bestie.
"Markiee!!" You whined as soon as his face appeared on your screen.
"Y/N-ah. I miss you." He was wearing some blue hoodie this time.
"That's my line. Do you have time to talk?"
"Bruh, for you? Always. What's up?"
"I am going to star in a drama!"
"What? I thought you hate those." He was genuinely shocked.
"I know, I do. But this one is different. I'm not playing the villain I got female lead, and she isn't some damsel in distress she is a badass character!" You almost screamed and he chuckled.
"Woah. Someone's excited. I'm so proud of you. So who is getting the privilege to be cast with you?"
"I don't know yet. I'm supposed to meet the cast next week." He nodded his head and smiled. "Anyway what are you up to?"
"I was actually thinking of playing Among Us and streaming wanna join?" He grinned.
"Absolutely, prepare to get wrecked Tuan." You used to play together at least once a week when you were in the USA, his fans loved you and shipped you even though you both told them you were just friends — it is some rule in the internet though, to ship close friends.
Few hours later you were once again killed as the first person, this time by Mark.
"YOU GONNA REGRET IT WHEN WE’LL MEET TUAN. I SWEAR I’M GONNA WHOOP YO ASS..." You screamed on top of your lungs and Mark laughed wholeheartedly, while his chat filled up with hundreds of LOL’s and LUL’s.
"You guys she threatens me. Someone make a clip and send it to the police once they find my dead body." He kept laughing and you couldn’t help but laugh as well. His smile and laugh were just too contagious.
"You really put our friendship to test lately Tuan, here I was foolishly trusting you when you killed me in cold blood. " You stretched and your stomach rumbled reminding you that you haven’t eaten yet and it was already around four pm.
" Hey don’t hate the player, hate the game. " He shrugged and winked, while you rolled your eyes.
"Okay Mark, I gotta go and eat. It’s already afternoon here."
"Sure, chat say bye to Y/N." They did as he asked and it was soon filled with many hearts and goodbyes. "Love you Y/N! Call me soon." He grinned and you smiled warmly.
"Love you too Mark. Bye guys!" With that you logged off the discord, and switched off his stream. You make your way to the kitchen and took out the ingredients for kimchi jjigae you bought before. You carefully read the recipe opened on your phone and began cooking. You had to make anchovy stock first so you grabbed some dried anchovies, kelp and slashed the daikon in cubicles — it looked quite awkward as each cubicle was different size but hey it was you eating it not some kind of culinary critic. You added water and left it to boil deciding to take care of the rest of ingredients. You cut some kimchi and ate some as a snack and reward for not ordering food today, sliced some green onions, cut the pork and the tofu as well. By the time you were done it was time to strain the broth and add the rest of ingredients. It had to cook so you decided to watch some TV in the meantime. You turned it on, it was some kind of reality show where idols were supposed to camp in the wild for a few days. The idols clearly didn’t feel like being there and the fact you knew neither of them didn’t help. You dozed off before you noticed, your eyelids getting as heavy as iron. The smell of burning woke you up. You shot upwards from your couch and rushed to the kitchen, bumping into a coffee table on your way there.
"FFFFFF-UUCK." you hissed, when your shin pulsed with pain. You quickly grabbed the pot with stew to get it off the fire, forgetting it would be hot as well. You hissed in pain and let id drop on your marble floor which was now covered in burned kimchi and some other things. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fucking shit." You cursed as you tried to navigate to the sink to ease off the burn with some cold water. The cold water did help and you sighed with relief only to later follow it with a sigh of resignation. You had to clean up this mess. It was when your phone barked — a new message. You checked it.
From Unknown number: Are you trying to burn down the whole building?
You furrowed your brows confused, wondering if it was one of those jokes or spam messages you heard about.
To Unknown number: Who’s this?
From Unknown number: Guess.
You huffed in disbelief.
To Unknown number: Ok, enjoy being blocked.
From Unknown number: Wait!
From Unknown number: It’s Jinyoung.
To Unknown number: How did you get my number? Never mind I’m blocking you I’m too busy to deal with you.
With that you put the phone back in your pocket and began cleaning up. You finished in no time now tired out by scrubbing. You sat on the floor and took out your phone to check it out.
From Unknown number: Don’t block me what if you need my help one day.
To Unknown number: With what exactly?
From Unknown number: What if you get stuck in your bathroom and need someone to let you out?
You rolled your eyes and saved his contact
To Devil: There is at least 7 billion more people I’d rather ask to help me
From Devil: Ok then what if I get stuck in the bathroom and need your help.
To Devil: I’d leave you there
From Devil: Heartless
To Devil: Better tell me how did you get my phone number
From Devil: You gave it to me when you scanned my kakao code
You were bewildered, was that his plan from the very beginning or were you just paranoid? You were either prejudiced or he was in fact the devil with angel's face.
To Devil: Did you lie about not remembering your account number?
From Devil: Maybe
You couldn’t believe it, the audacity, the smugness. You could feel irritation building inside you but you decide to let it go when your stomach rumbled at you aggressively. After eating you took shower, read a few chapters of The Vegetarian and fell asleep.
Next week passed quickly but in the feeling of anticipation as you were supposed to meet the rest of the cast as well as the scriptwriter and director at the meeting on Friday. You kept calling your manager throughout the week trying to find out who could they be, but he didn’t know anything or didn’t want to tell you. And so you spent the week on training, running, reading and occasionally calling Mark to express your impatience and excitement. You didn’t meet your irritating neighbor even once this week — something you counted as blessing or perhaps a sign that the universe finally turned your karma around. It was finally Friday and you were already sitting in the meeting room waiting for everyone to come in. You smiled at the young man sitting next to you, he was really cute and had this mole under his right eye it added to his charm. He was about to introduce himself, when someone came through the door and greeted everyone cheerfully. You couldn’t believe it. You were cursed, actually cursed.
"YOU?!" was all that left your mouth upon seeing him entering the room.
#jinyoung fanfiction#jinyoung fanfic#jinyoung angst#Actor!Jinyoung#jinyoung x reader#jinyoung x you#jinyoung fic#park jinyoung fanfiction#park jinyoung fanfic#park jinyoung scenarios#park jinyoung imagines#got7 fanfic#GOT7 fanfiction#got7 fic#got7 scenarios#got7 imagines#GOT7#got7 jinyoung#got7 park jinyoung#park jinyoung#jinyoung#jinyoung scenarios#thatgirlsfic
47 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
semicolonsspace
Space's Sanctuary
sailorkaashi
Blossoms
red-pill-blue-pill
Temet Nosce
davanagerbachpan
Bachpan Play School Davangere
antropolisbooks-blog
Scott Ransopher